Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity

by Imi Lo

Do you feel you experience life more vividly than others?
Do people sometimes describe you as emotionally intense or oversensitive?
Do your emotions soar high and plunge so quickly that you feel you can't keep up?

This book is for you. Learn how to cope with intense feelings, and discover how to use your sensitivity, empathy and intelligence to live a meaningful and fulfilling life.
Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity will give you in-depth information about this trait, as well as practical exercises and strategies to help with your daily struggles.

It will help you come to new ways of thinking about your past, thrive in your current life, and create exciting possibilities for the future. Written in a friendly and compassionate tone, the chapters will answer questions raised by many emotionally intense

Is there something wrong with me?
How does this trait explain my life experiences so far?
What can I do right now to better my life and to fulfil my potential?

You will learn
- Understand what it means to live with emotional sensitivity and intense feelings
- Debunk the myths and stereotypes about this trait
- Let go of old emotional baggage and limiting mindsets
- Develop real resilience and find peace within life's ups and downs
- Navigate challenging social and family situations
- Build healthy and fulfilling intimate relationships
- Find your unique calling and liberate your creative potential

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Audiobook, Personal Development

256 pages, Paperback

Published May 29, 2018

About the author

Imi Lo is an internationally published author and independent consultant specializing in emotional intensity and high sensitivity. She has published three books with Hachette: Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity (2018, translated into seven languages), The Gift of Intensity (2021), and The Gift of Empathy (2025).

Imi holds master's degrees in Mental Health (University of Queensland), Buddhist Studies (University of Hong Kong), and Global Cultures (King's College London). She has held roles as a psychotherapist, art therapist, suicide crisis social worker, and mental health supervisor. Her professional experience includes work with Médecins Sans Frontières and the UK National Health Service.

Her clinical training encompasses philosophical counseling, Jungian psychology, art psychotherapy, mentalization-based treatment, and trauma-informed modalities. She integrates mental health coaching with psychoanalytic depth and philosophical insights, helping people understand their intensity as a strength rather than a liability.

Reviews

[Lesya Kostiv · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes you hear you have to read thousands of books just to find that One Book. And here is mine. I wish I could read something like this when I was 15. But anyway later is better than never

[Candis · Rating 4 out of 5]

i read this book and saw myself and all the ways i have been feeling that i thought we’re not valid for my entire life. also, i did not realize that i was a superhero.

[Book Princess (Anastasia) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Хороша книжка, пізнавальна. Багато чого зрозуміла про особливість своєї особистості. Також тут є практичні вправи, які мені сподобалися. Не дуже зайшла мені хіба що остання частина книжки, хоч і звідти теж почерпнула щось нове.

[Matthew Samuels · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this book, Imi Lo charts out what it is to be a ‘highly sensitive / emotionally intense’ person and starts to correct some of the assumptions (and damage) that you might have picked up throughout your life. Looking at themes like childhood, misaligned parenting and relationships, she also picks up on how to achieve your creative potential, disassemble your ‘armour’ and manage yourself as an emotionally intense person. Unlike other books, it focuses on how to not only survive, but also thrive in the world.

I’d like to repeatedly and persistently thank Imi for her work here – this book feels like a bit of a sanctuary and safe space. There are many parts that you can keep coming back to; while I’m pretty happy reading it cover to cover, it’s also something that you’ll inevitably return to and study.
Imi’s language is clear and she covers topics comprehensively. She notes that not all topics will be relevant to everyone, all the time, and to pick and choose. It’s a manageable book to read and definitely one of the best ‘self help’ books I’ve read.

[Kate Sergejeva · Rating 5 out of 5]

А можно поставить два раза по 5*? 🤷‍♀️❤️
Одна из самых сложных книг для меня в этом году, я смогла прочитать ее только с 3 раза и уверенно говорю что буду читать в четвертый.

Первый раз после прочтения книги, я нашла автора и написала ему маленький мессадж благодарности. Потому что впервые почувствовала что читаю книгу про себя. Было очень лично.

Если в вас отзывается тема эмоциональной чувствительности, то очень рекомендую к прочтению. Если нет, то конечно не теряйте время. Это точно не всем интересно.

[Jenny T · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read similar books, such as The Highly Sensitive Person (and The HSP in Love) as well as The Highly Sensitive Person's Handbook, but this one goes deeper and really captures the experience of feeling like a sensitive, intense, "too much" person.

While I did feel a little uncomfortable with the recurrent reminder that HSPs are gifted, I did like the positive focus on HSP traits rather than the downside. I especially like the language and characterization of our trait and how being an HSP is a calling. It's a pretty motivational read.

[DXB GAL · Rating 5 out of 5]

This Book changed my life ... It is empowering as it describes the world through a sensitive, intense and gifted person's eye and the feelings they go through and how it may not be aligned with society's norms. Its written very positively and focuses on individual's uniqueness and power. It sheds light on many deepen hidden wounds and complexes that it could take someone years to diagnose in a psychologist clinic. It is a heavy read so you will have to pause at many points to reflect, but it is worth it as it will help you heal. You will feel lighter, stronger and more confident.

*If you know children of similar personality it will be useful to read as it provides guidance.

[Susan Pack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Backed by scientific research

Backed by scientific research. It has the potential of rectifying years of misunderstandings in personal and professional relationships. Anyone who respects differences in individuals will be enlightened.

Whether a highly sensitive person or not, if you desire to keep evolving and growing as a loving and understanding person for yourself and your family, significant other, children, friend, co worker .... in any role...., read Emotional Sensitivity & Intensity.

[Nadya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am very impressed by this book and the amount of information I learned about this topic. It has definitely been a helpful source to get to know myself better thanks to the reflection prompts and exercises provided throughout the reading.

I am going to keep this book close to reread certain part and work through the exercises. Especially, I’m looking forward to reading chapter 7 (“In your mind”) again.

One of the important messages of this book was that high sensitivity is a gift rather than a curse which most people label it as.

[Marisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I read this when I was younger. It’s amazing reading this book because for once, I finally feel like someone in the world can relate to who I am inside. I’m so thankful the author wrote this book in such a loving and gentle tone to reassure us of our identity.

[Ashley Marilynne Wong · Rating 4 out of 5]

A deeply comforting, soothing and affirmative read. Just what I needed to unwind and replenish my emotional, intellectual and existential energy.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

life changing

I was not prepared to see myself so reflected in this book. Easy to follow with a lot of resources.

[Nata Yeromenko · Rating 3 out of 5]

Окей, це був дуже дивний досвід.

Першу половину книжки я читала із задоволенням, знайомилася з поняттям "високочутлива людина", співвідносила свої досвіди із описаними, плакала і візнавала себе. Потім в якийсь момент почалися "практичні" частини з вправами, які можна коротко підсумувати реченням "згадайте про свої травми а потім швиденько прийміть себе". На моє глибоке переконання, людина не може сама себе протерапевтувати. Вправи на пригадування своїх емоцій в критичні моменти життя є в кращому випадку непомічними, а в гіршому - швидливими, бо біля вас немає нікого, хто допоможе потім з цими емоціями справитися. А позитивні афірмації на мене взагалі ніяк не діють, тож останніх відсотків 30% книжки я перемотувала сторінка за сторінкою, не в змозі змусити себе це читати. В якийсь момент мантра "Ви не калічні, а неймовірні, і вам просто треба це побачити!" стала мене правді дратувати своєї поверхневістю і безсенсовністю. Я не вірю в користь такого нашвидкоруч зклепаного селф-хелп, і хотіла би, щоб авторка краще посиділа зі мною в місці суму і усвідомлення, що бути високочутливою людиною дуже непросто, а не гнала мене в "достігатєльство".

Ну і це просто ще одна книжка в копілку книжок, які поглиблюють мої сумніви про культуру селф-хелп і наскільки вона насправді sustainable.

[Stuart Hargreaves · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful book, this self-help book is full of ideas/tips which will help you to change and have a better life. I was very selective in how I read the book, ( not ready the chapters in order) but as usual some of the chapters I thought would be not very good turned out to some of the best.

It took me a while to read the full book and on several occasions I read the chapters/pages a few times before grasping the point. I will re read this book again in the coming months/years. Give it a go it will change your life for the better.

[Rosagallica · Rating 5 out of 5]

The content was excellent. Drawing together several different strands of thought on emotional sensitivity and presenting these in a positive, insightful and compassionate way. I really found myself in these pages; some characteristics I know only too well and others that I had yet to identify as part of the same pattern. There is a sensation of deep satisfaction and reassurance in ‘being seen’, even through the medium of a book. Many thanks to Imi Lo for bringing her wisdom and experience into publication. What a journey it all is!

[Daisy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book in a Goodreads giveaway (thank you!)

This book was good, I don't think a lot of it applied to me but the bits that did were REALLY good. The best bit was the chapter on building emotional resilience, I think anyone could benefit from reading that one chapter and it's worth getting this book just for that! It's just a shame that not all of it applied to me (there is a lot about childhood traumas)but I will be using some techniques that I learnt.

[Rachael · Rating 3 out of 5]

On the whole I enjoyed this book but found myself skim reading a bit in the last third. The book introduced quite a lot of pseudo science (the mass consciousness has an electro magnetic field... oh and you might be psychic) but despite the lack of referenced sources, I appreciated how understood the book made me feel even if it did not all apply to me. Some excellent pointers, and really helpful self reflective journal prompts if you’re into that sort of thing!

[Sufia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book. Wish I had this book growing up. really helpful in terms of providing us with coping strategies and explaining why HSP are wired differently.

[Infrathin · Rating 2 out of 5]

С меня хватит вчитываться в одинаковые книги по саморазвитию, в попытках отыскать там хоть что-то новое и не пустое как аффирмации позитивной психологии

[Roy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I definitely am not much of a fan of the self-help kind of books. The few I have read always struck me as extremely generic, commercial and filled with platitudes. Or, on the other hand, far too specific to the situation of the author to be of any use to anybody else. One cannot melt oneself into the mould of another’s life. And even if one could, that does not mean that one should. Although they provided some insights, those were never lasting.

Another thing I never appreciated in self-help books is that the style, too, is extremely generic so as to be accessible to most people. Although the goal might be noble — but more often merely commercial, or a combination of those at most — it has always diminished the authenticity of the narrative to me.

I believe it is exactly in this ‘genericity’ that the value of most self-help narratives is lost, and this book has helped me figure that out.

Imi Lo’s “Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity” does strike this string of authenticity. It is so fully and utterly recognisable to me, which inherently means that it will not be so to all others, that it does not fall into the trap of genericity. And that is exactly because she focuses on a specific group of people, rather than the broadest group of people. What’s more, this is a constant theme within the book itself.

In a similar way, her style is friendly, accessible, yet not without depth. Although it would certainly not be my style, she creates an interesting blend of academia, philosophy and spirituality. For this, I believe she deserves some admiration, as it takes courage to brave the incessant criticism of academic purists, or simply those ‘pseudo-science’ naysayers. I, however, am all for breaking these fragile barriers between disciplines that I believe to be intricately connected.

Imi, from the depths of my heart, thank you for your vision, virtue, audacity, research and time. In every chapter I recognised to an uncanny degree my own struggles and strengths, and the great strides I have already made in my personal development in accepting myself.

Because that is what I always focussed on: recognising, accepting, appreciating and, finally, loving myself. However, the inherent vagueness of the idea of a ‘Self’ has always made it hard to add some tangibility to that process. Now that that specific part of me that I struggled to accept most has been given a name, been identified, has been made tangible, it has suddenly lost its daunting character.

Knowing that I was on the right path I already did, but now, too, I feel that I am on the right path. In this comprehension, I look forward to the experience of my future, in full trust of its possibilities and potentials.

[place.between.pages · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 ⭐

[PL] W ostatnich latach dużo mówi się o wysokiej wrażliwości. Jest o niej głośno na tyle, że zaczęły pojawiać się głosy nad racją bytu tego pojęcia. Niewątpliwie ludzie mają różny poziom natężenia tej cechy; sama uważam się za osobę, która przeżywa rzeczy intensywniej niż większa część osób, które znam, stąd z personalnych pobudek z chęcią sięgnęłam po tę książkę.

To pozycja dla “intensywnych emocjonalnie”, którzy czują, że… czują za wiele, natomiast od ludzi w swoim otoczeniu często słyszą, że przesadzają i są przewrażliwieni na jakimś punkcie. Jednak autorka stoi po stronie wysokowrażliwych i co rusz powtarza, że niektórzy ludzie po prostu tacy są - tak jak jedni mają brązowe włosy, a inni blond. Tłumaczy czym jest wrażliwość emocjonalna i wyjaśnia jakie mogą być osoby, które przejawiają tę cechę. Podkreśla, że nie powinno uznawać się tego za przekleństwo czy słabość, a uzdolnienie, które można nauczyć się wykorzystywać w codziennym życiu z korzyścią dla siebie i innych.

Głębiej w książce znajdzie się dużo więcej. Autorka pozostawia czytelnikowi wiele ćwiczeń, pozwalających poddać się autorefleksji i zaznajomić się z wrażliwością noszoną w sobie. I wreszcie, nie byłabym sobą, gdybym nie przyznała, że przy takich pozycjach jest istotne, aby w książce znalazło się miejsce dla przypisów. W tym przypadku odnoszą się do obszernej bibliografii i tym samym książka nie przekazuje informacji z widzimisię autorki, a rzeczywistych źródeł, natomiast czytelnik ma możliwość poszerzyć swoją wiedzę, sięgając po materiał z danego zakresie.

Chociaż mogłoby się wydawać, że mówię o samych plusach, to w dużej mierze ta pozycja była zwyczajnie miałka i o niczym. Sama książka nie jest długa, a mimo to ilość tekstu przytłaczała. Pojawiało się za dużo informacji, równocześnie wiele z nich się powtarzało. Za połową miałam wrażenie, że zmienił się pomysł na tę książkę i czytam o czymś, co ledwo dotyka tematu. Wyszła z tego wydmuszka - dobra w teorii, wątpliwa w praktyce.

[Olga · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though I very likely am one, much of the literature around the "Highly Sensitive Person" annoys me. The term carries a similar tone to the term "spoonie" at this point: connotations of fragility, and at times, a self-righteousness, which doesn't resonate for me when talking about either disability or sensitivity.

However, if you are a sensitive and intensely emotive person, especially one whose familial environment was invalidating and abusive, this book offers some welcome words of validation. After recently struggling with ill-fitting group dynamics, my reading of it was timely. The author situates the problem outside of the individual, but in cultures that do not value these personality traits, or a wide variation of personality differences (neurodiversity) in general.

If you are someone who struggles with group dynamics because of strong need for authenticity, are frustrated by superficiality and surface social interaction, or are perceptive and critical in ways that often make you feel alienated and lonely, this book is really helpful in understanding your personality type, your strengths, and the challenges that accompany it. Lo explains why people who have this personality often develop the tendency to shrink or hide, denying ourselves access to our passion and creativity, and offers advice on how to harness these gifts and cultivate environments and life paths that welcome and nurture them.

[Martha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love how this book invites people to accept who they are and understand that experiencing life deeply, even the painful parts, leads to greater personal growth and creativity.

The book specifically addresses highly sensitive people (HSP) whose emotional depth and intuitive understanding of personal dynamics are not just impressive, but exceptional.

Unlike world-class athletes who might have a much better sense of movement than the average person, however, the gift of sensitivity doesn’t attract societal admiration. And in many cases, such intensity leads to criticism by others who judge HSP as “too emotional” and their adept insights as inconvenient or even dangerous. Those HSP who can’t repress their emotional sensitivity are vulnerable to ridicule, adding more stress to that caused by absorbing the emotions of those around them. Others escape public contempt by stifling their emotions and observations.

Whether you’re an HSP or not, the book struck me as highly useful. By better understanding the sensitive and intense people around us, we can avoid categorizing them as “too much” and instead encourage their gifts, which can result in fabulous contributions.

Even better, the book can help us get in touch with our own sensitivities while empowering us to embrace intensity as a way to become better, more creative human beings.

[Randomrookie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my one and only written review on this website (as of writing this).

This book SAVED me in a time where I was going bananas. No seriously.

I never had anyone explain in such accurate detail who I was and what I was experiencing. I was in the dark my whole life, dealing with so much....yet knowing so little.

In a world that doesn't appreciate people like me (at all!), this book was like a lighthouse in the dark. And this is one very dark night indeed...

This book is not only a guide, it is also a therapy exercise book. It's funny, I bought this ages ago, but only had the courage to read this recently. I suggest not rushing through it but taking it one step at the time, and read it away from people that trigger you (trust me on that).

If the description in the synopsis suits you and you have been largely alone with these issues - this book is for you. Infact it's more crazy accurate than the 16 personalities website, which honestly felt lacking for me. Now I know why.

And to the author: Thank you for making this book, I mean it. One of the few, actually useful resource for people like us. 👍

[Nina Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has quite possibly changed my life. I have never read a book that has spoken to me on a such a personal level, absolutely everything that Imi Lo writes resonated with me on a profound level. It feels like the book was written for me as a manual for my life and understanding myself, I had no idea I was that predictable!

There were a few moments I had to put the book down as they really uprooted some of my traumas and fears, the book called me out on many occasions.

I will no doubt be going back to this book time and time again to remind myself of the core teachings. It is written so clearly and with fantastic research to back it up.

If you resonate with being emotionally sensitive and intense then you must read this book. Truly transforming and probably the most important book I’ve ever read.

[Olga Gurtovenko · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a fresh air in the situations where literally everyone tells you: «keep calm, words don’t matter», «stop crying, it’s just a homeless dog, there are millions of them around the world», «be stronger, you aren’t a child anymore».

Emotional sensitivity IS NOT a weakness. Sure, it can cause a lot more intense emotions in your life, but only with them you have true perception of people’s behavior. You could let go of old emotional baggage, find peace with ups and downs in life, navigate challenging situation with family or at work and, finally, you could find your unique calling.

Truly amazing book, and it’s just one among plenty of them. Please never tell me that someone has a «thin skin». No, that’s you who’s thick-skinned and that’s okay for you and not for everyone around.

[A · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't say my life was changed greatly by reading this book, but it did pass some knowledge that I may connect with the characteristics, mindset, moods, etc that are mentioned in it. We do currently live in a very stereotypical/strategically set world where if one does not fit the mold then there are waves being created. It is our internal system that starts to form itself at a young age based on our interactions + caregivers—thus it will take more time when we're older to work it back out. So I didn't fully figure how to get there, other than journal it out and try to mentally rework your brain to get to somewhere better that you're more comfortable with yourself + are OK being different from what is stereotypical.

[Stephen Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of all the books that I have read regarding the phenomena of Adverse Childhood Experiences, this is the first one that I have encountered which covers the individuals who are highly sensitive and intense. Although my ACE score comes in at 7, I somehow managed to avoid the pitfalls somewhat and lead a very successful life. These books all seem to be like having just a little bit more revealed that one knows intuitively but could never connect the dots. This book I highly recommend, but only if you have an open mind and are not looking for the quick fix. It points the way, but you have to make it happen

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity has some strongly relatable chapters! The book gives much perspective and understanding of HSPs and empaths.

I don't know how much I learned, but I found the book reassuring and empowering. It explained familiar feelings, patterns, survival and coping strategies, and senses.

This book is in three parts:
Part 1: The emotionally intense person
Part 2: The complexities of being emotionally intense
Part 3: From healing to thriving

Being highly sensitive means being perceptively gifted and feeling things others don't feel. You'll know immediately if this book is for you.

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If only I found this book 10 years ago!

This book is incredible and I've already recommended it to clients. There is a lot of valuable, helpful information that can apply to a lot of different types of people. I received gut punches regularly from about Chapter 6 on. There's still so much that I'd like to reflect on from this book. Suffice it to say, I found this extremely helpful.

* An Enneagram 4 MUST READ.
* I don't know if "highly sensitive people" count as 'neurodivergent', but I certainly thing there is a lot of overlap and helpful material to anyone who finds themselves within that category.