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Eight Whopping Lies

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“Brian Doyle is an extraordinary writer whose tales will endure.” —Cynthia Ozick, National Book Critics Circle Award-winning author of Quarrel and Quandary

This is a guided tour through the mind of one of the most acclaimed voices in contemporary Catholic writing. Brian Doyle effortlessly connects the everyday with the inexpressible and consistently marries searingly honest prose with interruptions of humor and humanity.

These essays bear Doyle’s trademark depth and deliver with eloquence his piercing observations on mohawks and miracles, vigils and velociraptors, syntax and scapulars, jail and jihad, and mercy beyond sense.

192 pages, Paperback

Published September 5, 2017

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250 people want to read

About the author

Brian Doyle

62 books730 followers
Doyle's essays and poems have appeared in The Atlantic Monthly, Harper's, The American Scholar, Orion, Commonweal, and The Georgia Review, among other magazines and journals, and in The Times of London, The Sydney Morning Herald, The Kansas City Star, The San Francisco Chronicle, The Ottawa Citizen, and Newsday, among other newspapers. He was a book reviewer for The Oregonian and a contributing essayist to both Eureka Street magazine and The Age newspaper in Melbourne, Australia.

Doyle's essays have also been reprinted in:

* the Best American Essays anthologies of 1998, 1999, 2003, and 2005;
* in Best Spiritual Writing 1999, 2001, 2002, and 2005; and
* in Best Essays Northwest (2003);
* and in a dozen other anthologies and writing textbooks.

As for awards and honors, he had three startling children, an incomprehensible and fascinating marriage, and he was named to the 1983 Newton (Massachusetts) Men's Basketball League all-star team, and that was a really tough league.

Doyle delivered many dozens of peculiar and muttered speeches and lectures and rants about writing and stuttering grace at a variety of venues, among them Australian Catholic University and Xavier College (both in Melbourne, Australia), Aquinas Academy (in Sydney, Australia); Washington State, Seattle Pacific, Oregon, Utah State, Concordia, and Marylhurst universities; Boston, Lewis & Clark, and Linfield colleges; the universities of Utah, Oregon, Pittsburgh, and Portland; KBOO radio (Portland), ABC and 3AW radio (Australia); the College Theology Society; National Public Radio's "Talk of the Nation," and in the PBS film Faith and Doubt at Ground Zero (2002).

Doyle was a native of New York, was fitfully educated at the University of Notre Dame, and was a magazine and newspaper journalist in Portland, Boston, and Chicago for more than twenty years. He was living in Portland, Oregon, with his family when died at age 60 from complications related to a brain tumor.

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5 stars
161 (70%)
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53 (23%)
3 stars
14 (6%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
Profile Image for Sue.
1,440 reviews655 followers
January 1, 2018
My final book of the year by one of my favorite authors, a perfect combination. And closing out the year in which Brian Doyle died with such an affirmative, loving and positive read is simply right and proper.

For those who may be unfamiliar with Doyle, he was a novelist, essayist, short story writer, unabashed family man and Catholic who also uses wonderful elements of magical realism at times in some of his novels. For those who are concerned about being "evangelicized" (my word), no worries. He is not that type of writer or man; he draws on his experiences of the particular to pull in the timeless in all settings. He has an affinity for the natural world and man's often historically puny place in it. Oh and he also has a great sense of humor.

In this collection, there are selections about his family, life and death in nature, multiple essays/stories/memories from his own childhood or of that of his own children. Then there are others, separate from him personally, like The Bullet. This tells the international life story of a bullet that badly wounded an American soldier in Iraq. Definitely makes you think. There are powerful and gently powerful stories here. Virtually every one had something to say to me or for me.

I highly recommend this book to all who know of Doyle and all who enjoy good writing which can uplift but also question your ideas of what is important or urgent in your life.

A copy of this book was provided by the publisher through NetGalley in return for an honest review.
Profile Image for Lisa.
130 reviews2 followers
October 5, 2018
Not all of these 'stories' were worthy of all of the stars, but the ones that were made up for the ones that weren't. And weaving through all of them, and all of Brian Doyle's writing, is ever and always and especially this:

"This is what I know: that the small is huge, that the tiny is vast, that pain is part and parcel of the gift of joy, and that there is love, and then there is everything else. You either walk toward love or away from it with every breath you draw. Humility is the road to love. Humility, maybe, is love. That could be. I wouldn't know; I am a muddle and a conundrum, shuffling slowly along the road, gaping in wonder, trying to just see and say what is, trying to leave shreds and shards of ego along the road like wisps of litter and chaff." pg.163
Profile Image for Kate Gutes.
Author 2 books22 followers
April 5, 2018
I love everything Brian Doyle writes, but this collection of his pieces that he published in Portland Magazine, particularly appealed to me because the pieces were short, almost micro-essays, and still Doyle manages to make beautiful points and each piece feels complete and not rushed.
33 reviews
January 11, 2025
If one of your resolutions for 2025 is finding beauty and grace in the everyday, this is your roadmap. Gorgeous.
Profile Image for Theresa Hardman.
147 reviews26 followers
June 5, 2019
Brian Doyle's writing style is definitely unique, but I loved the raw honesty of his works. Among my favorites were when he got his rosary, and the chapter entitled Eight Whopping Lies. So true! Perhaps being raised Catholic helped me to understand and appreciate these short stories, but whatever the reason, I loved the book.
Profile Image for Jeff.
321 reviews7 followers
December 20, 2020
“The first of eight whopping lies is this: ‘This won’t hurt a bit.’ Yes it will. It will hurt so bad that you will blubber like a Cubs fan.”
It’s lines like that that repeatedly put a smile on my face as I read these nearly 60 distinct musings from Brian Doyle, the late novelist and essayist from Portland, Ore. Doyle’s topics can seem ordinary — fishing, chess, rosary beads, his dad’s typewriter, the art of bunting, atomic bomb drills in elementary school — but he finds the extraordinary in each. He’s a keen observer and wondrous wordsmith, and is fast becoming one of my favorite authors.
Profile Image for Jana.
587 reviews10 followers
March 15, 2021
I love Doyle's books of essays so much. It always kind of makes me sad as I approach the end of each book because I know that I am one book closer to running out of "new" books of his to read...
Profile Image for Tim.
37 reviews1 follower
March 11, 2022
"Humility, the final frontier... You either walk toward love or away from it with every breath you draw. Humility is the road to love. Humility, maybe, is love. That could be. I wouldn't know; I am a muddle and a conundrum, shuffling slowly along the road, gaping in wonder, trying to just see and say what is, trying to leave shreds and shards of ego along the road like whisps of litter and chaff."
Profile Image for Debbie.
808 reviews
March 22, 2018
Goodreads has attributed this book to the wrong Brian Doyle. It was written by the American Brian Doyle, who died last year and wrote Mink River, The Plover, and many other wonderful books.
This collection of essays begins with a remembrance written by Jim Doyle, Brian's father. Reading these essays made me slow down and pay attention to the wonder and awe of the miracle of life; somehow, they have made me a better person.
420 reviews
April 4, 2019
Like most short story or essay books in my experience, this was uneven. Some of the essays were wonderful--poignant or clever. Others, not so much. Doyle employed a run-on sentence type structure to much of his work, which proved to be a little annoying to me at times. A couple of his pieces, though, were terrific.
13 reviews
May 18, 2018
Thoughtful reading...for the most part

Some of the essays will make you laugh. Some will make you cry. Some will just make you shrug your shoulders or shake your head. Take time to enjoy them rather than trying to zoom through the book. It is worth the effort.
Profile Image for Mandy Applin Northwoods.
71 reviews2 followers
February 20, 2021
I absolutely love Brian Doyle's writing, especially his novels. Brian Doyle talks a lot of spirituality and philosophy in his other works, with a hints of his specific religion here and there. However, this book has way too much Catholicism in it for me. Enough said.
Profile Image for Karen.
779 reviews17 followers
March 12, 2018
Wow, I can't remember when I've read a collection of stories that were so well written and so deeply moving, while never being maudlin, tiresome, flighty, or difficult. I have read his works before, I thought I had read another one of his collections, but because Goodreads has two authors with the same name, I decided not spend a lifetime sorting them out!

It was sad to begin this book knowing that the author had recently passed away. The introduction to the book is a remembrance by Jim Doyle, Brian's father. It colored how I felt about the book the entire time I read it. Doyle has written for countless publications: stories, opinions, and memories based on family, current events, faith, Catholicism, parenthood, and life. His deep sense of understanding permeates everything he wrote.

In "The Bullet," he shares the fate of one bullet and the man it hit and how the trajectory of everyone's life changed with this one event. He moves from medicine to physics to economics to war to relate the damage done, the issue of war and the issues of commerce, manufacturing, and sales to discuss the American company that made the bullet, the selling of this bullet to an army fighting against American soldiers in Iraq, to the flesh of his friend. While the soldier in this case lived, the pain remains, the issues remain, the politics and the economies remain.

In "A Mohawk in the House," Doyle paints a humorous episode from parenting his twin boys. His wife and daughter were away when he decided to put into play a money saving idea he had to cut the hair of his four-year-olds by himself. This was a fun read.

"Death of a Velociraptor" tells the tale of his House Wolf that is known for charging off the porch to kill some small animal before anyone can stop him. This time it was a plastic dinosaur belonging to his sons. However, the sons are at the time 20 years old, so he follows the event with memories of how young children play. We get to see what he sees in his own memories.

Some of the stories are about faith, God, and church. They are never preachy, but instead full of wonder, questions, humility, and joy.

Take some time to enjoy his writing. Your English teacher would be appalled, but you will be enlightened, amused, thoughtful, and sad by turns. I wish I knew him.
Profile Image for Faith Flaherty.
340 reviews6 followers
June 20, 2022
Eight Whopping Lies, I plan to read more, if not all of his works. Eight Whopping Lies is a book of short stories. This book contains the kind of short stories I like--short. There isn't one story that is over three pages long. Some books of short stories lie. Their short stories are novellas. But Brian Doyle's are a delight, not only because of their brevity, but also because of his enjoyable writing skill.

He writes stories that we can identify with so we learn to feel friendship with him. He has a way of saying things that puts the reader there. I am amazed by his skill. And it seems so effortless!

"I liked her wit and erudition and masterful passive aggression, which was so layered and subtle that I found myself enjoying it immensely as a form of verbal art."

This is how I felt upon reading Eight Whopping Lies. By the way, Eight Whopping Lies is the title of one of the stories. The lies are:

1. God is with us. This assumes He approves of us getting drunk, fighting, etc. We have free will and sometimes we choose to be without God.

2. It's not you; it's me. Nope, not true. Every time you have said that, it was you.

3. A baby in the womb is not a person. You must have a mental block if you think that baby is not a human being. An adult does not look like a child. A child does not look like an infant. And a baby in the womb is a human being at that stage of a human being's life.

4. It's not about the oil. Oil is why we go to war. We're not at war with North Korea where a dictator is starving his people, are we?

5. We are stewards of America's land and water, and we do our utmost to protect our national legacy. Mining companies and oil companies are liars.

6. My campaign is all about family values. Are you for national health care? Affordable education and training for all?

7. This won't hurt a bit. Who says this? Dentists use this phrase. I rest my case.

8. It's a peacekeeping mission. People will be harmed and killed.
Profile Image for Debbie.
1,018 reviews
November 26, 2020
During this crazy year I have read more books by Brian Doyle than any other author and every single one of them have had me crying at some point during my reading. He was such a passionate writer and so honest about how everything impacted him in how he lived. His writing is very descriptive of the things we should pay more attention to in our interactions with those we love...honing in on what we notice about that, listening with abandon to what they say and most importantly remembering what they say and how they feel about things in their lives. Something that I think most of us have forgotten.

The saddest part about me reading his books now is that he passed away in 2017 and there will be no new books by him. I guess that will keep me re-reading some of the ones that are my favorites. I am glad that I discovered his books...his stories are short, to the point and so touching.
17 reviews
June 6, 2020
I thoroughly enjoyed these stories by Brian Doyle, a wonderful writer when brilliant turn of phrase. I share the last paragraph of one of the last chapters, as I found it particularly heartfelt.
He spoke of his joy and pride in being a father and ended with this :-

"When I am in my last hour, when I am very near death, I hope I will be of sound enough mind to murmur this to our three children and perhaps, if the mercy has been especially ridiculous, our grandchildren. It was for you that I was here, and for you I prayed for every day of your life and for you I will pray in whatever form I am next to take. Lift the rock, and I am there, cleave the wood and I am there, call for me and I will listen. For I hope to be a prayer for you and yours, long after I am dust and ash. Amen."


Profile Image for Marigold.
879 reviews
January 26, 2021
It's by Brian Doyle, therefore it is perfect.
These are essays collected for this edition after Mr. Doyle's death.
These are:
Words you need to read when you're living through a pandemic, yes.
Words you need to read anytime you're feeling lost, alone, sad, or grumpy and out of sorts.
Words you need to read when you first wake up.
Words you need to read before you go to sleep.
Words you need to keep on your nightstand or a copy in your purse or under the seat of your car because you never know when you are going to need them.
I was happy to have this be my first non-fiction read of 2021. This year may demand that we be able to quote Brian Doyle at any time, at least in our own heads if not out loud.

Profile Image for Richard Subber.
Author 8 books54 followers
February 1, 2020
To every logophile in the world, keep this book on your nightstand.
I guess it would be quite a few years before I would get tired of reading at least one story from Eight Whopping Lies every night.
Brian Doyle’s artful wordsmithing will have you choking with laughter and rage…and keep a box of tissues handy for when you just get all choked up…
Some of my favorites are: “100th Street,” “Bunt,” “Is That Your Real Nose?” and “The Way We Do Not Say What We Mean When We Say What We Say,” and the icing on the cake is the eponymous offering on p. 42 of Eight Whopping Lies that begins “This won’t hurt a bit…”

Read more of my book reviews and poems here:
www.richardsubber.com
Profile Image for Robert Morgan Fisher.
736 reviews22 followers
July 7, 2020
Well, didn't know this collection of essays (my mind focused on the word Stories as that is what I love and Doyle's a master) would be so... CATHOLIC, LOL But Catholic and spiritual it is and I loved it. Doyle loved his faith and it informed everything he wrote. I knew him briefly and he was full of light all the time. Nonstop. This doesn't mean this collection is soft or sappy. Yes, there are sentimental moments but they're earned and authentic. I miss Brian Doyle very much. Acquired this book somewhat out of a grieving sense that we'll never see the likes of him again. These stores (yes, they are TRUE stories more or less) will improve your day and your life.
34 reviews
October 30, 2025
I loved this book. It consists of almost 60 three page essays that were previously published on line. Perfect to read when you need some inspiration or a quick "pick me up." Many deal with Doyle's childhood with his 4 siblings, others with his own family of three children. He also discusses things such as gun safety and terrorism and fishing and a variety of topics.

Two things made these essays stand out for me.

One, the quality of the writing. Doyle was amazing.

Second, so many heart-warming stories that make you appreciate life, despite its worries and woes.

I think it would make a perfect gift - but read it first!

Profile Image for Theresa.
1,395 reviews19 followers
December 3, 2021
I don't typically like religions writing and I was less impressed with Doyle's writing about his religion than with his other pieces. But when Brian Doyle died, we lost a wonderful and kind-hearted human being and writer. This book is a collection of essays about faith, nature, children and his own childhood. He can be funny and ironic but also seriously conscientious about being a responsible inhabitant of earth. I love his approach to plants and animals; he allows them agency and consciousness unlike most other writers. Even in his religious writing, he is non-judgmental and compassionate.
Profile Image for Susan Conklin.
142 reviews2 followers
October 1, 2018
Master of the short story, this book collected posthumously and forward by Doyle's father is a must read for Doyle fans. Reaching into his faith, his talent for appreciating the minute in ordinary life, Brian makes in extraordinary. The most heart wrenching aspect of this book is that it was his last, but hope springs eternal that there is buried treasure in his personal archives we may one day get to read.
Profile Image for dirt.
348 reviews26 followers
June 14, 2020
A delightful collection of some of the small, bite-sized morsels of writing that Brian Doyle excelled in. Essays where he could capture the love and reverence he had for his brother while including breathtaking lines about holding babies up high like loaves of bread. I remember reading that line for the first time in The Sun and then looking forward to all of his contributions. I am continually astounded at his ability to capture the beauty of life and speak truth.
Profile Image for Laura Boram.
98 reviews4 followers
July 2, 2020
Brian Doyle was a beautiful writer. He is sweet and rambly and manages to make sense of the Catholic Church in a way that makes me miss sitting through mass. Luckily his books fill me with the same appreciation for nature - which is where you will find me sitting now.

Blessings on your journey Mr. Doyle.
1,341 reviews14 followers
September 11, 2024
Oh my, I love this book. The author’s meditations on life in his family, in this world, in the maelstrom of human life and contradictions is brilliant and witty and beautifully written. I will find myself returning to many of these pieces to help see the world a little bit more clearly. These are magnificent.
Profile Image for Peg.
81 reviews2 followers
August 10, 2018
Charming, laugh-out-loud-inducing, heartfelt and touching. Not just for the Catholic, but I can relate to those essays about Brian's Catholic upbringing. He passed away recently, a loss for the literary world, but especially for us Portlanders.
Profile Image for Tresta Payne.
11 reviews1 follower
June 27, 2020
This is an example of an author I can enjoy without agreeing with him on every issue. We differ, but he tells compelling stories in a winsome way and I am glad for his perspective. (I listened to this on Audible so his idiosyncrasies with punctuation and long lists didn't bother me.)
11 reviews1 follower
June 24, 2021
Absolutely wonderful!

What a treasure, these perfectly chosen words of genius and delight. What a gift. I have so much respect for Brian Doyle - his words resonate in such a powerful way. What an amazing writer. And what an incredible human being he must have been.
Profile Image for Leslie.
577 reviews10 followers
August 27, 2023
While I wouldn’t have given every one of these micro essays 5 stars, there were a number of them that spoke such lovely truths that I marked the pages and mentioned them to friends. That’s always a good sign. What a great introduction to this writer.
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