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One Kiss or Two?: The Art and Science of Saying Hello
Every encounter begins with a greeting. Air-kissing, handshakes, high-fives, nose-rubs, cheek-sniffing and foot-kissing, sticking out tongues, floor-spitting, applause, and face-slapping―different cultures have developed innumerable ways of showing pleasure at someone’s arrival.
Humans have been greeting each other for thousands of years. It should be the most straightforward thing in the world, but this seemingly simple act is fraught with complications, leading to awkward misunderstandings, intercultural fumblings, and social gaffes that can potentially fracture relationships forever.
Why is that? Why are greetings so important? Is there a right and wrong way to say hello? In his illuminating book One Kiss or Two?, Andy Scott―a well-traveled former diplomat and no stranger to botched first contacts himself―takes a closer look at what greetings are all about. In discovering how they have developed over human history, he uncovers a kaleidoscopic world of etiquette, body-language, evolution, neuroscience, anthropology, and history.
Through in-depth research and his personal experiences, and with the help of experts ranging from the world-famous primatologist Jane Goodall to the leading sociologist of the twentieth century Erving Goffman, Scott takes readers on a captivating journey through a subject far richer than we might have expected. By the end of it, we are able to make more sense of what lies behind greetings―and what it means to be human in the modern, cross-cultural age.
Humans have been greeting each other for thousands of years. It should be the most straightforward thing in the world, but this seemingly simple act is fraught with complications, leading to awkward misunderstandings, intercultural fumblings, and social gaffes that can potentially fracture relationships forever.
Why is that? Why are greetings so important? Is there a right and wrong way to say hello? In his illuminating book One Kiss or Two?, Andy Scott―a well-traveled former diplomat and no stranger to botched first contacts himself―takes a closer look at what greetings are all about. In discovering how they have developed over human history, he uncovers a kaleidoscopic world of etiquette, body-language, evolution, neuroscience, anthropology, and history.
Through in-depth research and his personal experiences, and with the help of experts ranging from the world-famous primatologist Jane Goodall to the leading sociologist of the twentieth century Erving Goffman, Scott takes readers on a captivating journey through a subject far richer than we might have expected. By the end of it, we are able to make more sense of what lies behind greetings―and what it means to be human in the modern, cross-cultural age.
- GenresNonfictionSociology
283 pages, Hardcover
First published March 1, 2018
10 people are currently reading
115 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
December 9, 2021
In the beginning this was funny and interesting and really pulled me in. The second half really started to drag in comparison. Don’t get me wrong there was still plenty of interesting ideas in the second half, but the author also had an idea of breaking off into tangents. And these tangents would last for pages, making the chapters feel quite long.
The concept was great, and I did enjoy the content, but I think it could have been paired down a bit. But that may just be my personal preference.
The concept was great, and I did enjoy the content, but I think it could have been paired down a bit. But that may just be my personal preference.
December 23, 2021
Greetings reveal something about our relationships, conveying our feelings and status.
For body language experts, getting the handshake right is crucial for making a good first impression. It certainly supports the popular view that you can tell a lot about someone by their handshake, with business leaders claiming to have decided whether to hire someone just on the strength (literally) of their grip.
The biggest driver of multicultural living has been migration. The number of people living in a different country to the one they were born in has increased by more than 40 per cent in the last fifteen years. About one in thirty are now classified as international migrants.
Experts on non verbal communication divide the world into high and low contact cultures, with the former found mainly in Latin American, southern Europe and Arab countries, and the latter coming from mostly northern Europe, North America, Australia and Asia.
Different cultures inhabit different sensory worlds.
In Greece, extending an outstretched palm is deeply insulting.
In Niger, a fist at eye level is used to say hello, but in much of the Gulf gesturing with a closed hand is considered vulgar.
With the birth of social media, we don't just communicate online - we exist online.
Our gadgets aren't so much enhancing our interactions, but undermining them. As technology makes communication easier, we're drowning in it.
Online we loose our civility, not even bothering with greetings.
We're forever checking our phones, looking at what our friends are doing rather than engaging with the person in front of us.
For body language experts, getting the handshake right is crucial for making a good first impression. It certainly supports the popular view that you can tell a lot about someone by their handshake, with business leaders claiming to have decided whether to hire someone just on the strength (literally) of their grip.
The biggest driver of multicultural living has been migration. The number of people living in a different country to the one they were born in has increased by more than 40 per cent in the last fifteen years. About one in thirty are now classified as international migrants.
Experts on non verbal communication divide the world into high and low contact cultures, with the former found mainly in Latin American, southern Europe and Arab countries, and the latter coming from mostly northern Europe, North America, Australia and Asia.
Different cultures inhabit different sensory worlds.
In Greece, extending an outstretched palm is deeply insulting.
In Niger, a fist at eye level is used to say hello, but in much of the Gulf gesturing with a closed hand is considered vulgar.
With the birth of social media, we don't just communicate online - we exist online.
Our gadgets aren't so much enhancing our interactions, but undermining them. As technology makes communication easier, we're drowning in it.
Online we loose our civility, not even bothering with greetings.
We're forever checking our phones, looking at what our friends are doing rather than engaging with the person in front of us.
May 9, 2018
Mildly interesting in the beginning, but then proved to have no driving theme/conclusion. Seemed the random data stayed mostly random data. Book then moved/stretched off-topic. Which if you're into Darwinism, liberalism and Conservative digs, you'll be fine. Left feeling very disappointed.
July 11, 2022
2.5 too much of the same thing repeated by other "experts"
February 9, 2018
Interesting look at greetings...
December 14, 2019
I wanted to like this more than I did. (I mean, what an utterly charming title!)
But this read like intelligent-amateur hour. Andy is smart, but he insists on dragging his personal foibles and awkwardness (so very English) into this book.
I wrote one of my application essays to Oxford on this very topic, actually, as an illustration of operating in international contexts. I really wish he spent more time on the etiquette of greetings, but instead this was truly a whistlestop tour of history, body language, anthropology, animal behavior, etc.
So TL;DR -- mildly interesting, but I don't particularly recommend, for people interested in greetings or otherwise.
But this read like intelligent-amateur hour. Andy is smart, but he insists on dragging his personal foibles and awkwardness (so very English) into this book.
I wrote one of my application essays to Oxford on this very topic, actually, as an illustration of operating in international contexts. I really wish he spent more time on the etiquette of greetings, but instead this was truly a whistlestop tour of history, body language, anthropology, animal behavior, etc.
So TL;DR -- mildly interesting, but I don't particularly recommend, for people interested in greetings or otherwise.
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March 15, 2019395 S4252 2017
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews