Not By Accident: Reconstructing a Careless Life

by Samantha Dunn

One day as Samantha Dunn was leading her horse through the canyons of California, he inadvertently trampled her, nearly severing her leg.

In a life filled with risk-taking and injuries, this was the most serious accident yet. It spurred Dunn to question her inclination toward carelessness, and she learned that a pattern of accidents often indicates deeper issues bubbling below the surface. This last near-fatal episode was a wake-up call; she had been looking away, not only from her horse, who had shown clear signs of panic, but also from her complicated past and troubled marriage. Not by Accident follows the stages of Dunn's long and painful recovery, during which the emotional healing process proved even more challenging than the physical one.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

256 pages, Paperback

First published August 11, 2015

About the author

Samantha Dunn is the author of Failing Paris (Toby Press), a finalist for the PEN West Fiction Award in 2000, and the memoir, Not By Accident: Reconstructing a Careless Life (Henry Holt & Co.), a BookSense 76 pick. Her most recent memoir, Faith in Carlos Gomez: A Memoir of Salsa, Sex and Salvation, is published by Henry Holt & Co.

Samantha's work is anthologized in a number of places, including the short story anthology, Women on the Edge: Writing from Los Angeles (Toby Press), which Dunn co-edited with writer Julianne Ortale.

Dunn's essays have appeared in numerous national publications including the Los Angeles Times, O (Oprah) Magazine, Ms., and Shape. In 2000 Dunn received the Maggie Award for Best Personal Essay in a Consumer Publication. A widely published journalist, Dunn's bylines are regularly featured in InStyle, Glamour, SELF, Men's Health and a variety of other consumer magazines. She has also written for the stage, as a co-creator of the show "American Ese." Dunn teaches in the UCLA Extension Writers Program and is a writer-in-residence at the New York State Summer Writers Institute.

Dunn lives in Southern California with her husband, musician/politico Jimmy Camp and their son Ben.

Reviews

[Heather Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dunn's book is certainly a soul searching confessional that seemed to resonate with me personally. Her descriptions of horses and our (women's) relationships with them have left me pining for my own long gone equine friends. I appreciated the way she wove flashbacks, medical information, and other stories into the tale of this life changing accident. Dunn writes artfully and believably. Dunn's story of transformation was pleasantly palatable and thought-provoking, a welcome contrast to Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love which I could not even get 50 pages into because of its insipid triteness.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ow. And wow. This book could be described as a story about woman and her horse having a terrible accident. But really it's a story about perception and pain and fear and mothers and daughters and failed relationships and failing ourselves and pain and healing and how to get over yourself for long enough to become your own heroine. The telling is crisp and witty and spirited. I was annoyed with Samantha Dunn because I could not put this smart and candid story down long enough to go pack and shovel and walk the dog. I Loved this book.

[Janet Muirhead · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh, my goodness! I have been off of Goodreads way too long. I finished this book at least six years ago and have read hundreds of others since then. Today on my 80th birthday I'm going to try to keep up and keep track of every book I read here.

Not by Accident, held my interest and I can still remember parts of it, which, after so long and so many other reads, me it made an impact as an accident prone narrator wonders why everything happens to her.

[Shayna Sobol · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just changed my rating to 5 stars, because I'm realizing how often I think of this book when I'm struggling with something or feeling down or overwhelmed in general. Samantha Dunn is such an honest writer and a strong, grounded woman, but hardly "perfect," which is one of the things I love about her. The horse-riding aspect serves as a metaphor in a lot of ways, so you don't have to be an equestrian to get it. Highly, highly recommended. Then be sure to follow up with Dunn's "Faith in Carlos Gomez."

[Lisa Manterfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

When author Samantha Dunn is thrown from her horse and comes close to losing a leg, she is forced to evaluate whether her long string of accidents have been a run of bad luck or if she’s been living a reckless life. Going against all advice, she is determined to get back on the horse, both literally and figuratively. With her frank, self-deprecating humor, Dunn asks the question, of both horses and life, of whether the rides we take are worth the potential fall.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a true story. Samantha is hurt so badly by her horse she has to fight not only her injuries but her faith in her horse. I couldn't put this book down. She never feels sorry for herself and just keeps pushing for good health and renewing her spirit. She's an amazing woman. I highly recommend this book. I'll be keeping "Not by Accident" in my library to be read again.

[Eileen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Samantha Dunn's Not By Accident: Reconstructing a Careless Life is a memoir about recovering from a serious accident. Yes, having your horse trample you and almost tear off your leg is a serious accident. The book is a memoir, a genre I rarely read- maybe one a year. I discovered the book by chance. Dunn was moderating a monthly Bookish program; one portion was her interview of an 80+ year old writer. The writer was a memoirist. It was her age, not her genre that appealed to me. During the interview. Dunn mentioned that she had also written a memoir. I looked it up on GR and just finished reading it. I liked the fact that she focused on one traumatic event and then looked at past similar ones in her life. With the injury and recovery as the focus, she looked for past clues, patterns of behavior, and some big picture context. She ended up focusing on being accident prone. She researched it and decided she was. She also recognized that she kept meeting people willing to help at the scene of the accident, in the hospital, and during her recovery and rehabilitation. She was able to return to her writing career and to riding her horse. Sadly, her marriage did not survive. This book is a reminder that health issues disrupt lives beyond the person with the illness or injury. It's also a cautionary tale- are you paying attention to the way you are living your life?

[Michele Ostrove · Rating 5 out of 5]

First read inspired me as a writer; second read has given me strength for me own healing journey

Samantha's memoir touched me on so many levels when I read it a few years ago, but it feels like a lifeline now. I remembered it was on my Kindle during the three days I was in the hospital in London after my own accident. I had just managed to get both feet runover by a van and was trying to come to terms with my own new reality. I asked my daughter-turned-caregiver for a small notebook and pen, and began the framework for my own future memoir...knowing that just getting all these thoughts on paper is going to help me get through this. As I read her final pages, I am 11 days into my own journey and will think of Samantha all along the way. Thank you for being there, like an old friend who shows up exactly when you need her.

[Jodell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Accidents never happen I could have planned it all. Precognition in my ears Accidents never happen in a perfect world Complications disappear. "Blondie"

Some mothers tell their children "They were born that way". Being accident prone. But apparently if you are, it's no accident. According to the Author being left-handed is one of the ways of telling if you are in the accident-prone criteria. Only 13% of the general population use their left hand and to be a left-handed woman is to be a statistical oddity. ha ha, I'm left-handed, I'm accident prone. Is there a correlation? Temperament is a big factor in accident prone people. Children that undergo stressful changes at an early age tend to be accident prone. I don't know if any of this is true. But it was an interesting read since I myself have had two horseback related injuries in my life.

[Jessica Kelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was assigned to me as part of a writing class I'm taking from Pam Houston, called "Writing the "More than Human World." I had never heard of the book or the author, it wasn't published by a major publishing house, and it has only 232 ratings on Goodreads. I wasn't sure what to expect, and was pleasantly surprised at how great this memoir was. The author is vulnerable and real and willing to take a hard look at herself and her faults, which I greatly admire. Her descriptions are detailed but not overdone. She jumps right into the main event, and I was riveted from page one. Last but not least, she isn't overly sentimental about her horse and her relationship with him. My only complaint is that the copy editor seemed to slack a bit in the second half of the book. I noticed a handful of typos that were distracting.

[Dena · Rating 5 out of 5]

"It seems to me that you don't care enough about yourself to pay attention to what you are doing. That's why you keep getting hurt." -- this is said to Samantha on p. 192.
The above words resonated with me because I had to learn to care about myself as an adult.
I appreciated how Ms. Dunn merged the research on "accident prone" people and our medical understanding of the body with her personal story throughout the memoir.

[Jean Minton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Samantha Dunn tells her story of recovering from a near-death horse accident beautifully. What struck me most about this book was Dunn's ability to so clearly describe her feelings on every occasion. Her story telling makes her incredibly easy to connect with. I especially appreciated Dunn's descriptions of her mother and grandmother and the way she weaves in references to their influence on her life. Beautifully written.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author has an impeccable strategy to keep the reader's interest. Although the topic is harrowing - there is always potential to write a dull story but this one is otherwise.
The writing was clear and the details placed the reader into the story. I laughed and I cried within a few pages. This is a hard feat for any writer to do. Humor and vulnerability are key tolls in the writer's toolbox.

I look forward to reading more of Ms Dunn 's work.

[Maria Regina Paiz · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sudden horse accident almost kills Samantha Dunn. After dismounting to lead him over a creek, Dunn is trampled by her horse, severely injuring her leg. Alone and far away from anyone being able to hear her scream, she is nonetheless rescued by an actor (so California!) who appears on the scene by mere happenstance. The months that follow are devoted to healing her leg, worrying constantly about infection and amputation. Her physical pain is excruciating, but in order to truly recover she must also undergo healing of the spiritual kind. This book is an honest, insightful journey into finding oneself and becoming whole again. That, and the love for a horse. Wonderful and memorable, Dunn’s book feels like a friend quietly telling you her story over coffee.

[Joanne Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had a hard time putting this book down. Dunn is smart, codependent and curious. As a result of her painful horseriding accident, she takes a look at her shortcomings, her upbringing, her relationships and her propensity to injure herself. As she heals physically, she heals emotionally and spiritually. I recommend this book to anyone who is accident prone and anyone who likes well-written memoirs.

[Sharon Dukett · Rating 5 out of 5]

A rich, inspiring memoir
The first few chapters of this book are quite intense as we graphically experience her horrendous accident where her leg is crushed. Through the rest of the book, the author takes us through her difficult recovery where the reader learns about her life and how she reached this point, and were she can, or can't go from here. Humor shines through even at the worst of times.

[Connie B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who would have known that she discusses left-handedness, also? 13% of the population is left-handed, and over 50% of THOSE are men. I'm in the 6.5% !
I'll be buying this for friends, or at least recommending; a fascinating read.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book immensely despite the shocking number of errors and typos in the Kindle edition. The author is a great writer, but whoever was supposed to edit and proof-read this did not do a good job.

[Esperanza · Rating 5 out of 5]

A miraculous story of trauma and survival. Couldn’t put it down. Leaves the audience wanting more. Eager to know if there’s an update on her story and healing journey. Surprised to learn of the tie in of Edward Albert Jr.; seems like he was an angel that arrived just in time. Love his movies!

[Elizabeth Butcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

I could not put this book down. So much for me to think about regarding a person being accident-prone that I need to give this some time and re-visit this book again later for a second read.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dunn is so honest in this memoir; if you liked Wild by Strayed I recommend this book. Plus, she is a New Mexican.

[Eaton Hamilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heart-wrenching memoir of a woman's love of horseback riding, and her near-fatal riding accident. For those of us who think we remember being born on a horse's back, a must-read.

[Ben Loory · Rating 5 out of 5]

“If I wanted your opinion I’d beat it out of you, a favorite saying in my family.”

[Kerry Mcginley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exquisite Memoir

I loved every word in this book. Dunn’s recovery and self-reflection are humbling and inspiring. She’s a real horse woman, one who understands the gifts and terror that come with a legit horse addiction. I tore through it in one afternoon.

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

thoughtful, harrowing examination of the author's serious injury and its impact on her life.

[Kelly Kittel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book feverishly, because I actually had a fever and felt too miserable to do anything else besides blow my nose every ten seconds. As a result, I didn’t take notes and the lines are blurred between what was the book and what was my own feverish state. Regardless, it was compelling and interesting and gut-wrenching and, like all good memoirs, caused me to reflect on my own existence.

I’ve never been good with horses, or most other animals either, so it was interesting for me to read about life from the viewpoint of a bonafide horse lover. I can now say I understand the relationship better, altho I will continue my general practice of avoidance. I guess horses are intuitive and I do know from experience that whenever I’ve been coerced or have otherwise consented to riding one, both horse and me know all too well just who’s in charge. So to read about this horrific horse accident is confirmation for me. I’ll be sticking to goldfish.

I smiled when Samantha’s guru advised, “Keep breathing. If you only do one thing, keep breathing.” The fact that Samantha gets back on the horse, proverbial and otherwise, might seem crazy. But I’m a woman who continued to get pregnant in spite of nearly dying in the process. And not just once. So I completely understand. Our passions sometimes borderline on obsession but when they are what drives us, what gives our lives purpose and meaning, there is no turning away. As she writes, “It is my nature to forget.”

I’ve been part of a discussion lately about the role of God in tragedy and particularly agreed with this bit as written to her by a priest when she asks for guidance, “Someone once said that life must be lived forward but can only be understood looking backward. I think we have to endure much before we can see how God has guided our steps. To do it prematurely is to make as real only what you wish were real. I am of the providence-is-a-mystery school. By that I mean that human and divine life is so complex and interrelated that it is almost impossible to see how God acts or why. I don’t see the suffering of innocents or the dreadful acts of the holocaust have any place in God’s providence. But I believe that God is there, even there. I live providence as a belief and a question. Perhaps this will get you started.”

[Susan Kurth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those rare memoirs that I've read several times. It's a story about a young woman who, following a severe injury while riding her horse, has to come to terms with more than just physical changes. It's a story of introspection, self-awareness, and transformation. Highly recommended.

[Linda Atwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off, I'm a memoir fanatic--so if it is a true story, I want to read it. This is a story about the day Samantha Dunn takes a horse ride in a California canyon. When she dismounts and tries to walk Harley through a creek, he becomes frightened and tramples her, causing severe damage to her leg. She is minutes away from bleeding to death when a stranger comes out of nowhere to rescue her. The story of the accident was gripping and I couldn't put the book down. I also wanted to hear how this injury disrupted her life and she's very open about the pain and lifestyle changes she had to endure. She tries a variety of ways to reduce her pain and heal herself. Fortunately, there is a happy ending to this tragedy. I'm not particularly a horse person (even though I've ridden in the past) but it isn't just a story about a woman and her horse. It is a story about love--her relationship with her horse(s), the other people in her life, and coming to terms with the relationship she has with her own self. It is a beautiful, worthwhile story.

[Jamie Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure, Sam is a friend of mine. However, I read this book BEFORE we became friends, and I LOVED IT! She is a masterful writer. Her tone is conversational, which makes her craft is very stealthy--her excellence as a writer sneaks up on you. Her description of the riding accident that inspired the book is harrowing, her personal discoveries universally resonant, and her prose is impeccable. I highly recommend.

[Donna Stapleton · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible journey of soul reflection and healing of spirit.

This memoir is a contagious form of self reflection and healing. Sam doesn't shy away from the difficult personal topics most of us avoid looking at in ourselves. It's a very raw and beautiful process she shares in a very thought-provoking, entertaining way. I loved this book and could relate in many ways. This is an inspiring read.