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Fulfilled: How the Science of Spirituality Can Help You Live a Happier, More Meaningful Life
Are you living the life you thought you always wanted but feel that something is still missing? Do you think you should be happier than you are, considering all that you have? Have you achieved your professional or personal goals but still feel racked with insecurities, anxiety, or depression . . . and can't figure out why?
Psychiatrist Anna Yusim knows just how you feel. Not only has she struggled with these feelings herself, but she has also worked with patients upon patients who have expressed the same bewildering concern: they have everything they've always wanted, and yet deep down they don't feel fulfilled.
Determined to help herself and her patients, Dr. Yusim spent more than fifteen years studying and conducting research and came to a startling conclusion: this lingering feeling of dissatisfaction coincides with spiritual neglect. Once she helped her patients address their spiritual and psychological needs, she saw radical improvements in their happiness levels and quality of life.
Now science is catching up with her innovative approach to therapy as groundbreaking medical research and studies substantiate what Dr. Yusim and many others have suspected for years: spirituality is a powerful path to healing. Drawing from the best in Western medicine, as well as teachings from Kabbalah, Buddhism, and shamanistic traditions, Dr. Yusim has developed a program that marries empirical science and spirituality to help you:
Discover your life's true purpose Eliminate self-defeating patterns and roadblocks that are keeping you from living your most authentic life Understand the scientific underpinnings behind "answered prayers" and "random coincidences"-and why having faith in them can change your outlook for the better Appreciate how consciousness shapes your reality and how to harness this understanding to live a life of abundance.
Filled with exercises, guided meditations, fascinating scientific research, and inspiring success stories, Fulfilled integrates the best of Western medicine with universal spiritual principles to help you find more meaning, more joy, and more fulfillment in your life.
Psychiatrist Anna Yusim knows just how you feel. Not only has she struggled with these feelings herself, but she has also worked with patients upon patients who have expressed the same bewildering concern: they have everything they've always wanted, and yet deep down they don't feel fulfilled.
Determined to help herself and her patients, Dr. Yusim spent more than fifteen years studying and conducting research and came to a startling conclusion: this lingering feeling of dissatisfaction coincides with spiritual neglect. Once she helped her patients address their spiritual and psychological needs, she saw radical improvements in their happiness levels and quality of life.
Now science is catching up with her innovative approach to therapy as groundbreaking medical research and studies substantiate what Dr. Yusim and many others have suspected for years: spirituality is a powerful path to healing. Drawing from the best in Western medicine, as well as teachings from Kabbalah, Buddhism, and shamanistic traditions, Dr. Yusim has developed a program that marries empirical science and spirituality to help you:
Discover your life's true purpose Eliminate self-defeating patterns and roadblocks that are keeping you from living your most authentic life Understand the scientific underpinnings behind "answered prayers" and "random coincidences"-and why having faith in them can change your outlook for the better Appreciate how consciousness shapes your reality and how to harness this understanding to live a life of abundance.
Filled with exercises, guided meditations, fascinating scientific research, and inspiring success stories, Fulfilled integrates the best of Western medicine with universal spiritual principles to help you find more meaning, more joy, and more fulfillment in your life.
288 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 27, 2017
91 people are currently reading
954 people want to read
About the author
Anna Yusim
2 books35 followersDr. Anna Yusim is a board-certified psychiatrist with a private practice in New York City's Upper East Side and a Lecturer at the Yale University School of Medicine.
After working as a neurobiology researcher with Dr. Robert Sapolsky and completing her studies at Stanford, Yale Medical School and the NYU Residency Training Program in Psychiatry, Dr. Yusim felt that something was missing from her life. In her quest to find it, she traveled, lived and worked in over 50 countries, while studying Kabbalah, learning Buddhist meditation and working with South American shamans and Indian gurus.
Her first book, Fulfilled: How the Science of Spirituality Helps You Live a Happier, More Meaningful Life, integrates traditional psychiatry with the universal spiritual principles she learned in her own personal journey to fulfillment. The most important point of the book is that fulfillment is possible, and Dr. Yusim provides her readers with the principles and exercises to get there. She currently lives in Manhattan with her husband.
Dr. Yusim has published over 60 academic articles, book chapters, scientific abstracts and book reviews on various topics in psychiatry. She has received numerous awards and distinctions including the National Institute of Mental Health Outstanding Research Resident Award, the American Psychoanalytic Association Fellowship, the William Webb Fellowship from the Academy for Psychosomatic Medicine, the American Psychiatric Institute for Research & Education (APIRE) Janssen Research Award, the Seed Research Grant from the American Medical Association, First Prize in the Sermo Resident Challenge, the Carta Fellowship from the World Psychiatric Association, the Janet M. Glasgow-Rubin Award for Women Leaders at Yale Medical School, the William F. Downs Fellowship for International Research, the Max Kade Fellowship, the Samuel F. and Sara G. Feinman Scholarship for Leadership, the Foreman Fleisher Foundation Scholarship for Academic Excellence, the Golden Award for Top Thesis written in the Humanities at Stanford University, the Hoefzer Prize for Top Essay Written in Stanford University Course, the Bessie F. Lawrence International Fellowship, and the National Science Foundation Scholarship.
After working as a neurobiology researcher with Dr. Robert Sapolsky and completing her studies at Stanford, Yale Medical School and the NYU Residency Training Program in Psychiatry, Dr. Yusim felt that something was missing from her life. In her quest to find it, she traveled, lived and worked in over 50 countries, while studying Kabbalah, learning Buddhist meditation and working with South American shamans and Indian gurus.
Her first book, Fulfilled: How the Science of Spirituality Helps You Live a Happier, More Meaningful Life, integrates traditional psychiatry with the universal spiritual principles she learned in her own personal journey to fulfillment. The most important point of the book is that fulfillment is possible, and Dr. Yusim provides her readers with the principles and exercises to get there. She currently lives in Manhattan with her husband.
Dr. Yusim has published over 60 academic articles, book chapters, scientific abstracts and book reviews on various topics in psychiatry. She has received numerous awards and distinctions including the National Institute of Mental Health Outstanding Research Resident Award, the American Psychoanalytic Association Fellowship, the William Webb Fellowship from the Academy for Psychosomatic Medicine, the American Psychiatric Institute for Research & Education (APIRE) Janssen Research Award, the Seed Research Grant from the American Medical Association, First Prize in the Sermo Resident Challenge, the Carta Fellowship from the World Psychiatric Association, the Janet M. Glasgow-Rubin Award for Women Leaders at Yale Medical School, the William F. Downs Fellowship for International Research, the Max Kade Fellowship, the Samuel F. and Sara G. Feinman Scholarship for Leadership, the Foreman Fleisher Foundation Scholarship for Academic Excellence, the Golden Award for Top Thesis written in the Humanities at Stanford University, the Hoefzer Prize for Top Essay Written in Stanford University Course, the Bessie F. Lawrence International Fellowship, and the National Science Foundation Scholarship.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
July 15, 2017
COMPASSIONATE, COMPREHENSIVE, FASCINATING
I didn’t necessarily feel Un-fulfilled when I began reading this book, but I knew I was at a crossroad. Dr. Yusim condenses years of her own search to find happiness without needing to backpack across foreign countries, or even make an appointment with a therapist. Instead she presents various vignettes from the male and female, gay and straight perspectives to illustrate her points. The author’s own humble admissions are described in the most honest, heartfelt detail. This book doesn’t have a stiff textbook approach—stories of how Dr. Yusim helped patients reverse life-long destructive patterns brings the book to life and made me feel that my own transformation was within reach. If at first you don’t relate, keep reading. In Chapter 4, I found myself. From that point on, the message became personal, the reason for certain patterns in my life, despite being a “happy” person, became clear. The book’s organization made it possible to focus on chapters that resonated specifically with me. The visualization technique in the chapter on Improving Relationships seemed too easy to possibly work, yet, as a result, I found myself finally considering forgiveness. I realized I’d resisted trying because I didn’t know how to begin, when I clearly “wasn’t there yet.” The second half of this book was fascinating—topics like Synchronicity, Telepathy, Dreams, Laws of Attraction, Life after Death, and Spirit Guides are explained from both scientific and personal perspectives, from the most renowned sources. No stone is left unturned, including the story of the cat named Oscar that seemed to predict death with such accuracy that it was published in the New England Journal of Medicine. Anyone that doesn’t know where to start to feel lighter need only open this book, open your mind, find your soul.
I didn’t necessarily feel Un-fulfilled when I began reading this book, but I knew I was at a crossroad. Dr. Yusim condenses years of her own search to find happiness without needing to backpack across foreign countries, or even make an appointment with a therapist. Instead she presents various vignettes from the male and female, gay and straight perspectives to illustrate her points. The author’s own humble admissions are described in the most honest, heartfelt detail. This book doesn’t have a stiff textbook approach—stories of how Dr. Yusim helped patients reverse life-long destructive patterns brings the book to life and made me feel that my own transformation was within reach. If at first you don’t relate, keep reading. In Chapter 4, I found myself. From that point on, the message became personal, the reason for certain patterns in my life, despite being a “happy” person, became clear. The book’s organization made it possible to focus on chapters that resonated specifically with me. The visualization technique in the chapter on Improving Relationships seemed too easy to possibly work, yet, as a result, I found myself finally considering forgiveness. I realized I’d resisted trying because I didn’t know how to begin, when I clearly “wasn’t there yet.” The second half of this book was fascinating—topics like Synchronicity, Telepathy, Dreams, Laws of Attraction, Life after Death, and Spirit Guides are explained from both scientific and personal perspectives, from the most renowned sources. No stone is left unturned, including the story of the cat named Oscar that seemed to predict death with such accuracy that it was published in the New England Journal of Medicine. Anyone that doesn’t know where to start to feel lighter need only open this book, open your mind, find your soul.
August 23, 2020
This is the August 2020 selection of South Austin Spiritual Book Group.
April 6, 2018
Dr. Yusim has written a very important book. In her candid and heartfelt style she addresses the crucial issue of spirituality in science/psychiatry. As a psychiatrist myself I am especially happy to have found this book.
Logic/rational thinking is only one aspect of being human. Emotions/feelings/intuition are also crucial[and enjoyable] aspects of being human. If something is not scientifically proven, that does not mean, that it does not exist[it may mean, that our science and it’s methods are limited]. The essence of science is to keep an open mind, however history is replete with examples of “science” being compromised by alterior motives, e.g. money, organized religion.
Please enjoy this refreshing, courageous book! The approach of the book can be enormously helpful to all of us. It can also help revolutionize the practice of psychiatry.
Logic/rational thinking is only one aspect of being human. Emotions/feelings/intuition are also crucial[and enjoyable] aspects of being human. If something is not scientifically proven, that does not mean, that it does not exist[it may mean, that our science and it’s methods are limited]. The essence of science is to keep an open mind, however history is replete with examples of “science” being compromised by alterior motives, e.g. money, organized religion.
Please enjoy this refreshing, courageous book! The approach of the book can be enormously helpful to all of us. It can also help revolutionize the practice of psychiatry.
Want to read
June 5, 2023Chapter 1: Reclaiming your life
- For the first time in my life, I was in trouble academically. As a conscientious, hard-working perfectionist, it shook me to the core, and I felt like a total failure.
As the earth was shaking beneath my feet, I realized that the man I was crazy about was emotionally unavailable and would likely never make himself emotionally available to me. This experience was a reflection of what I call the “mirror principle”: We don’t draw into our life who and what we want; we draw into our life who and what we are. I was attracting emotionally unavailable men because a part of me was emotionally unavailable.
- Before I could attract the kind of man I wanted, I had to open my own heart to love and become emotionally available myself.
-Admitting my inner pain, even to myself, would shake up the public perception of perfection I had worked so hard to cultivate and desperately craved to believe.
- True healing and lasting fulfillment require a spiritual transformation as well as a clinical outcome.
- But despite all the right words and the people-pleasing smiles, my heart cried out that something was missing. I could only hope that my real life was out there somewhere. But I hadn’t found it yet.
- Rather than questioning the ideas I had about what I was supposed to be doing with my life, I blamed myself. How ungrateful and entitled was I if this kind of life didn’t make me happy?
- Now, in my daily check-ins, I start my day with some moments of quiet reflection, asking myself, “How am I feeling right now?” “What do I want?” and “What do I need?”
- For example, is my heart feeling heavy or light? Is there a tightness in my neck and shoulders, or is energy flowing freely through my body? I go through a similar process when I encounter a new situation or when I’m faced with a decision to make.
- Belief in God or a Higher Power can serve as a positive and secure relationship in one’s life22 or compensate for a lack of other positive social supports.
- Soul corrections are the specific challenges your soul needs to work through or correct in this lifetime in order for you to become the best version of yourself. This version of yourself is calmer, connected to your values, and resilient when faced with challenges. Soul contributions are the unique ways you choose to use your talents, skills, abilities, passions, desires, and experiences in the service of others.
- healing doesn’t come from external labels.
- A natural-born empath, or somebody particularly attuned to the feelings of others.
Chapter 2: Owning your truth
- Courage is not about being fearless; it’s about letting fear transform you so you come into the right relationship with uncertainty, make peace with impermanence, and wake up to who you really are… [C]ourage stems from inner peace and it empowers you to live in alignment with your soul’s values.
- In other words, we often act on instinct, then come up with ways to justify it to our logical, rational minds.
- Rather than enjoying the prospect of being with a man who was offering her everything she dreamed of, obsessive thoughts filled her worried mind, taking her out of the present moment with Pavlos and into her own inner world of fear, anxiety, and neurosis.
- Sometimes what we most want can be the very thing that we fear most. For Beatrice, nothing created more fear and anxiety than the possibility of having her greatest desire fulfilled. Her instincts must have sensed this and immediately geared up for self-sabotage.
- What is even more painful than failure, abandonment, uncertainty, loss, and rejection is the fear of regret that comes with not having truly lived. This is precisely the role fear plays in our lives. It stops us in our tracks, makes us succumb to our internal demons, and keeps us from taking the risks necessary for living a full, authentic, courageous life.
- When we unwittingly act out of fear, it creates flawed thinking that leads to flawed actions. We see only what we want and expect to see, leading us to make snap judgments based on familiar patterns of the past and deliberately ignore evidence to the contrary. The result is what Kahneman kindly calls “cognitive illusions.”
- As Dr. Kahneman says, our instincts, in their continual search for patterns, can make the same “pattern recognition” error and engage in the same repetition. Again and again and again.
- Thoughts are not facts. We can’t believe everything we think. When our logic is overwhelmed by the fear, pain, anxiety and anger churned up by our instincts, Tibetan Buddhist master Tsoknyi Rinpoche says we should acknowledge the feelings, then say to ourselves: “Real, but not true.”
- The good news is, when we interrupt our habitual reactions and allow ourselves to see other options, we literally create new patterns in our brains to support us. Engaging in any intense activity over time changes the neural pathways in our brains. Learning any new habit or way of being affects the connections between the neurons. Research has shown that the growth of new neurons continues throughout our lifetimes in a process called neurogenesis, or the rebirth of the brain.
- Now we know that continual exposure to positive thoughts and rewarding environments measurably enhances our ability to change and grow. Numerous studies have shown, for instance, that positive experiences in therapy alter the brain in constructive ways that can help people change their lives as well. By challenging our old ways of thinking, we can directly counteract the negative patterns we've built in the past.
- As Susan Campbell, PhD, says in her book Getting Real, experiencing what is demands that we set aside our fears. This is the only way we can have a true, authentic connection with another human being. By releasing our fears, expectations, and wishes, we can truly embrace the here and now. This means relinquishing our beliefs about what should or should not be going on, what we expect, what we are prepared for, what we interpret, and what we judge as acceptable.
- Staying in the world we know-no matter how painful and dangerous it is gives us an illusion of control. Paradoxically, this illusion of control keeps us stuck in the same self-sabotaging patterns until we recognize what’s going on and are able to finally release our fears and make different choices.
- A loving, supportive environment combined with meditation and a means of self-expression (like journaling) can be ideal for healing the traumas of the past and finding a balance between logic and instinct.
- As my own personal journey has proven to me time and again, fulfillment entails connecting to your soul. One way to do this is by accessing your intuition.
- It is a subjective mental experience that gives us information about the present moment by enabling us to tap into our true self. Intuition can provide us with the answers to the most important questions in our life. It is that inner voice that breaks through to show us the right way when we are about to make wrong decisions. Using our intuition allows us to access wisdom about our life that we may have been completely unaware we possessed. This knowledge can only be revealed by looking within.
- It can sometimes be difficult to distinguish the inner voice of intuition from the inner voice of logic. The voice of the intuitive mind is calm, quiet, and peaceful. Its guidance is steady and unwavering. It operates in the service of our inner wisdom, rather than being dependent on moods, thoughts, or emotions. This inner voice is courageous, willing to do what is needed in a given situation, despite fear.
- It is nearly impossible to hear the voice of intuition in the everyday tumult of life’s demands. But a daily contemplative practice such as journaling and/or meditation, as through the exercises in this book, will allow you to hear this voice. Once you become aware of this voice, begin to pay attention to all aspects of it. Is it a loving voice or a harsh voice? Is it a caring voice or a controlling voice? Is it a compassionate and gentle voice or a harsh and punitive voice? Is the voice high or low in pitch? Soft or loud in volume? Masculine or feminine in tone?
- Checking in with what you really think and feel about any situation can enable you to avoid mistakes and ensure that you’re living a more authentic life every day.
- Fulfillment entails being able to balance our logic and intuition. Over time we can develop the ability to tell which one is appropriate in a given situation. Releasing the instinctual, fear-based patterns that no longer serve us enhances our tolerance for ambiguity and makes us more aware of the present. A tolerance for the uncertainties of life is critical for creativity, richness of experience, and freedom from fear-driven repetitive patterns.
- As you begin to build a connection with your inner voice, you will find that it enhances your life with love and compassion. By learning to let go of the illusion of control, we gain real control over the choices we make. Instead of allowing old, outdated assumptions to rule our lives, we can experience the freshness and vitality of every moment.
- The spirit is the essence, energy, and divine spark that corresponds to the highest form of what we are.
- In this way, the first part of our soul unites us with all of humanity and connects us to the divine, while the second part encapsulates our uniqueness.
Chapter 3: Embracing your shadow
- By learning to embrace our shadow sides, we become more fully ourselves.
- “To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light.” Only by integrating the shadow and making peace with our unlovable parts can we learn to fully love ourselves.
Chapter 4: Living your purpose
- It is possible to choose a life with greater purpose by aligning with your authentic self. Every person comes into the world with a specific purpose that is unique to that individual, as well as a general purpose that we all share.
- I often tell my patients they can identify the area that is most in need of a soul correction by asking, “What is the source of greatest pain in my life?”
- The area most in need of soul correction is the thing that keeps coming up again and again, much to our dismay.
- We always have a choice to align with light, goodness, optimism, hope, love, kindness, and generosity—the qualities of the soul.
- The founder of the Kabbalah Center, Rav Yehuda Ashlag, teaches that the Universe will support the choices we make. Follow the light, and we will be pushed toward more light. Follow the darkness, and we will be pushed toward more darkness.
- Changing ourselves proactively means identifying those aspects of our lives where we are aligned with our ego, that part of us that keeps us small and constricted. Proactive change entails first identifying the ways in which we are falling short of being the best version of ourselves. This recognition is an accomplishment in itself. Just to see ourselves clearly and make the decision to change is a huge step forward. It is our nature as human beings to be dominated by our egos at times. To depart from this mindset and commit to growth and transformation is actually quite amazing—it does not happen to everybody.
- Reactive transformation occurs through pain and suffering as we react to the external circumstances of our lives. Pain and suffering are inevitable parts of life. We will all feel pain. We will all suffer. Yet the more proactive growth we are able to achieve by overcoming the limitations of our egos and expanding our consciousness, the less pain and suffering we will have to endure.
- So how do you enable proactive growth to occur? By identifying exactly that which is most difficult, fearful, and uncomfortable for you to do in a given situation, and doing precisely that.
- Growth entails choosing the path of most rather than least resistance exactly because it enables you to expand. In this way, you grow as a person by holding back your reactive, ego-based responses and allowing your proactive, soul-based responses to emerge.
- By learning to recognize and observe difficult feelings without reacting to them, you slowly train yourself to align with your soul instead of your ego.
- If somebody does truly upset you, the proactive response would be to honestly acknowledge how you feel—”I am upset” or “What they said was hurtful”—and then not revert to your usual response. Proactive growth means going against your nature.
- How often are we afraid to say what we truly believe because it is all too important how the world perceives us? Sometimes we’re so busy trying to look good that we forget who we really are.
- In this vein, another soul correction we all share, if we choose to accept it, is to live authentically and find a way to reveal our unique soul contribution to the world. Your soul contribution, sometimes referred to as your calling, is the unique way you choose to use your talents, skills, abilities, passions, desires, and experiences in the service of others.
- Because no one can be like you, it is important to develop the courage to live authentically and purposefully and, at the same time, allow others to do likewise.
- Discovering our soul’s purpose is rarely an event, although epiphanies do happen. More often than not, it’s a process that requires patience and perseverance. In order to discover it, you must pay attention to what stirs your passions, lights you up, and just comes naturally. When you are living inside your soul’s purpose, you are often in flow. You lose track of time. You feel alive, useful, of service, and a part of all that is.
- For the first time in my life, I was in trouble academically. As a conscientious, hard-working perfectionist, it shook me to the core, and I felt like a total failure.
As the earth was shaking beneath my feet, I realized that the man I was crazy about was emotionally unavailable and would likely never make himself emotionally available to me. This experience was a reflection of what I call the “mirror principle”: We don’t draw into our life who and what we want; we draw into our life who and what we are. I was attracting emotionally unavailable men because a part of me was emotionally unavailable.
- Before I could attract the kind of man I wanted, I had to open my own heart to love and become emotionally available myself.
-Admitting my inner pain, even to myself, would shake up the public perception of perfection I had worked so hard to cultivate and desperately craved to believe.
- True healing and lasting fulfillment require a spiritual transformation as well as a clinical outcome.
- But despite all the right words and the people-pleasing smiles, my heart cried out that something was missing. I could only hope that my real life was out there somewhere. But I hadn’t found it yet.
- Rather than questioning the ideas I had about what I was supposed to be doing with my life, I blamed myself. How ungrateful and entitled was I if this kind of life didn’t make me happy?
- Now, in my daily check-ins, I start my day with some moments of quiet reflection, asking myself, “How am I feeling right now?” “What do I want?” and “What do I need?”
- For example, is my heart feeling heavy or light? Is there a tightness in my neck and shoulders, or is energy flowing freely through my body? I go through a similar process when I encounter a new situation or when I’m faced with a decision to make.
- Belief in God or a Higher Power can serve as a positive and secure relationship in one’s life22 or compensate for a lack of other positive social supports.
- Soul corrections are the specific challenges your soul needs to work through or correct in this lifetime in order for you to become the best version of yourself. This version of yourself is calmer, connected to your values, and resilient when faced with challenges. Soul contributions are the unique ways you choose to use your talents, skills, abilities, passions, desires, and experiences in the service of others.
- healing doesn’t come from external labels.
- A natural-born empath, or somebody particularly attuned to the feelings of others.
Chapter 2: Owning your truth
- Courage is not about being fearless; it’s about letting fear transform you so you come into the right relationship with uncertainty, make peace with impermanence, and wake up to who you really are… [C]ourage stems from inner peace and it empowers you to live in alignment with your soul’s values.
- In other words, we often act on instinct, then come up with ways to justify it to our logical, rational minds.
- Rather than enjoying the prospect of being with a man who was offering her everything she dreamed of, obsessive thoughts filled her worried mind, taking her out of the present moment with Pavlos and into her own inner world of fear, anxiety, and neurosis.
- Sometimes what we most want can be the very thing that we fear most. For Beatrice, nothing created more fear and anxiety than the possibility of having her greatest desire fulfilled. Her instincts must have sensed this and immediately geared up for self-sabotage.
- What is even more painful than failure, abandonment, uncertainty, loss, and rejection is the fear of regret that comes with not having truly lived. This is precisely the role fear plays in our lives. It stops us in our tracks, makes us succumb to our internal demons, and keeps us from taking the risks necessary for living a full, authentic, courageous life.
- When we unwittingly act out of fear, it creates flawed thinking that leads to flawed actions. We see only what we want and expect to see, leading us to make snap judgments based on familiar patterns of the past and deliberately ignore evidence to the contrary. The result is what Kahneman kindly calls “cognitive illusions.”
- As Dr. Kahneman says, our instincts, in their continual search for patterns, can make the same “pattern recognition” error and engage in the same repetition. Again and again and again.
- Thoughts are not facts. We can’t believe everything we think. When our logic is overwhelmed by the fear, pain, anxiety and anger churned up by our instincts, Tibetan Buddhist master Tsoknyi Rinpoche says we should acknowledge the feelings, then say to ourselves: “Real, but not true.”
- The good news is, when we interrupt our habitual reactions and allow ourselves to see other options, we literally create new patterns in our brains to support us. Engaging in any intense activity over time changes the neural pathways in our brains. Learning any new habit or way of being affects the connections between the neurons. Research has shown that the growth of new neurons continues throughout our lifetimes in a process called neurogenesis, or the rebirth of the brain.
- Now we know that continual exposure to positive thoughts and rewarding environments measurably enhances our ability to change and grow. Numerous studies have shown, for instance, that positive experiences in therapy alter the brain in constructive ways that can help people change their lives as well. By challenging our old ways of thinking, we can directly counteract the negative patterns we've built in the past.
- As Susan Campbell, PhD, says in her book Getting Real, experiencing what is demands that we set aside our fears. This is the only way we can have a true, authentic connection with another human being. By releasing our fears, expectations, and wishes, we can truly embrace the here and now. This means relinquishing our beliefs about what should or should not be going on, what we expect, what we are prepared for, what we interpret, and what we judge as acceptable.
- Staying in the world we know-no matter how painful and dangerous it is gives us an illusion of control. Paradoxically, this illusion of control keeps us stuck in the same self-sabotaging patterns until we recognize what’s going on and are able to finally release our fears and make different choices.
- A loving, supportive environment combined with meditation and a means of self-expression (like journaling) can be ideal for healing the traumas of the past and finding a balance between logic and instinct.
- As my own personal journey has proven to me time and again, fulfillment entails connecting to your soul. One way to do this is by accessing your intuition.
- It is a subjective mental experience that gives us information about the present moment by enabling us to tap into our true self. Intuition can provide us with the answers to the most important questions in our life. It is that inner voice that breaks through to show us the right way when we are about to make wrong decisions. Using our intuition allows us to access wisdom about our life that we may have been completely unaware we possessed. This knowledge can only be revealed by looking within.
- It can sometimes be difficult to distinguish the inner voice of intuition from the inner voice of logic. The voice of the intuitive mind is calm, quiet, and peaceful. Its guidance is steady and unwavering. It operates in the service of our inner wisdom, rather than being dependent on moods, thoughts, or emotions. This inner voice is courageous, willing to do what is needed in a given situation, despite fear.
- It is nearly impossible to hear the voice of intuition in the everyday tumult of life’s demands. But a daily contemplative practice such as journaling and/or meditation, as through the exercises in this book, will allow you to hear this voice. Once you become aware of this voice, begin to pay attention to all aspects of it. Is it a loving voice or a harsh voice? Is it a caring voice or a controlling voice? Is it a compassionate and gentle voice or a harsh and punitive voice? Is the voice high or low in pitch? Soft or loud in volume? Masculine or feminine in tone?
- Checking in with what you really think and feel about any situation can enable you to avoid mistakes and ensure that you’re living a more authentic life every day.
- Fulfillment entails being able to balance our logic and intuition. Over time we can develop the ability to tell which one is appropriate in a given situation. Releasing the instinctual, fear-based patterns that no longer serve us enhances our tolerance for ambiguity and makes us more aware of the present. A tolerance for the uncertainties of life is critical for creativity, richness of experience, and freedom from fear-driven repetitive patterns.
- As you begin to build a connection with your inner voice, you will find that it enhances your life with love and compassion. By learning to let go of the illusion of control, we gain real control over the choices we make. Instead of allowing old, outdated assumptions to rule our lives, we can experience the freshness and vitality of every moment.
- The spirit is the essence, energy, and divine spark that corresponds to the highest form of what we are.
- In this way, the first part of our soul unites us with all of humanity and connects us to the divine, while the second part encapsulates our uniqueness.
Chapter 3: Embracing your shadow
- By learning to embrace our shadow sides, we become more fully ourselves.
- “To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light.” Only by integrating the shadow and making peace with our unlovable parts can we learn to fully love ourselves.
Chapter 4: Living your purpose
- It is possible to choose a life with greater purpose by aligning with your authentic self. Every person comes into the world with a specific purpose that is unique to that individual, as well as a general purpose that we all share.
- I often tell my patients they can identify the area that is most in need of a soul correction by asking, “What is the source of greatest pain in my life?”
- The area most in need of soul correction is the thing that keeps coming up again and again, much to our dismay.
- We always have a choice to align with light, goodness, optimism, hope, love, kindness, and generosity—the qualities of the soul.
- The founder of the Kabbalah Center, Rav Yehuda Ashlag, teaches that the Universe will support the choices we make. Follow the light, and we will be pushed toward more light. Follow the darkness, and we will be pushed toward more darkness.
- Changing ourselves proactively means identifying those aspects of our lives where we are aligned with our ego, that part of us that keeps us small and constricted. Proactive change entails first identifying the ways in which we are falling short of being the best version of ourselves. This recognition is an accomplishment in itself. Just to see ourselves clearly and make the decision to change is a huge step forward. It is our nature as human beings to be dominated by our egos at times. To depart from this mindset and commit to growth and transformation is actually quite amazing—it does not happen to everybody.
- Reactive transformation occurs through pain and suffering as we react to the external circumstances of our lives. Pain and suffering are inevitable parts of life. We will all feel pain. We will all suffer. Yet the more proactive growth we are able to achieve by overcoming the limitations of our egos and expanding our consciousness, the less pain and suffering we will have to endure.
- So how do you enable proactive growth to occur? By identifying exactly that which is most difficult, fearful, and uncomfortable for you to do in a given situation, and doing precisely that.
- Growth entails choosing the path of most rather than least resistance exactly because it enables you to expand. In this way, you grow as a person by holding back your reactive, ego-based responses and allowing your proactive, soul-based responses to emerge.
- By learning to recognize and observe difficult feelings without reacting to them, you slowly train yourself to align with your soul instead of your ego.
- If somebody does truly upset you, the proactive response would be to honestly acknowledge how you feel—”I am upset” or “What they said was hurtful”—and then not revert to your usual response. Proactive growth means going against your nature.
- How often are we afraid to say what we truly believe because it is all too important how the world perceives us? Sometimes we’re so busy trying to look good that we forget who we really are.
- In this vein, another soul correction we all share, if we choose to accept it, is to live authentically and find a way to reveal our unique soul contribution to the world. Your soul contribution, sometimes referred to as your calling, is the unique way you choose to use your talents, skills, abilities, passions, desires, and experiences in the service of others.
- Because no one can be like you, it is important to develop the courage to live authentically and purposefully and, at the same time, allow others to do likewise.
- Discovering our soul’s purpose is rarely an event, although epiphanies do happen. More often than not, it’s a process that requires patience and perseverance. In order to discover it, you must pay attention to what stirs your passions, lights you up, and just comes naturally. When you are living inside your soul’s purpose, you are often in flow. You lose track of time. You feel alive, useful, of service, and a part of all that is.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 14, 2018
I am so happy to have read Dr. Yusim's book, Fulfilled, because I feel that there needs to be a shift in the way we approach mental health in this country. Dr. Yusim comes from a psycho-spiritual approach with her evidence-based practice. She weaves together brilliantly the spiritual aspects of life with the practical and logical ideas that most people in our field begin with. The multitude of knowledge, personal experiences and outside the box ideas that she has throughout the book make it accessible to people from all walks of life. It is not religious and can apply to every human being searching for their internal truth. Dr. Yusim is genuine, humble, and feels approachable which is a breath of fresh air! I highly recommend this book and feel fulfilled and blessed from reading it!
December 13, 2018
Heart-warmingly hopeful, and coming from a credible source. I really allowed myself to trust her and be guided by her, and I'm glad I did.
June 6, 2021
Was going OKish until “the law of attraction”. That is a no. Not spiritual (!) enough I guess..
July 30, 2025
brb manifesting
November 6, 2020
An enlightening read that speaks upon our search for a purpose that transcends the boundaries of our own personal lives.
September 10, 2017
As a long time reader of books that encompass the overlapping categories of self-help, spirituality, and science, I greatly enjoyed Dr. Yusim's work "Fulfilled." She successfully incorporates many complex ideas from spiritual and scientific traditions, and makes them accessible to both the general public and longtime seekers like myself. As a physician and a spiritual seeker, I feel that everyone-skeptics included-has something to gain from reading and and reflecting upon her book. I especially enjoyed the chapter on "Synchronicity," where she presents a very balanced exploration of this phenomenon.
In a time where society is seeking to fill voids, this book truly provides a path by which to live a life of greater fulfillment. The exercises throughout the book, as well as real-life examples from Dr. Yusim's own life and those of her patients, are the essential and practical components of the path she structures for her readers.
While the book is very accessible, it is also rich with information- some may find it best to read it one stretch, whereas others like myself, preferred to have read it piece by piece to truly absorb its depth and reflect upon the exercises.
In short, this is one of those books that I will reference for many years to come, one that I will keep returning to for guidance and hope.
In a time where society is seeking to fill voids, this book truly provides a path by which to live a life of greater fulfillment. The exercises throughout the book, as well as real-life examples from Dr. Yusim's own life and those of her patients, are the essential and practical components of the path she structures for her readers.
While the book is very accessible, it is also rich with information- some may find it best to read it one stretch, whereas others like myself, preferred to have read it piece by piece to truly absorb its depth and reflect upon the exercises.
In short, this is one of those books that I will reference for many years to come, one that I will keep returning to for guidance and hope.
October 8, 2017
Fulfilled- this book is life changing. You’ve heard that before, I know, I did as well. Yet, this book hits every mark for a person who is in need of getting into the underpinnings of their thinking.. Each chapter unfolds in a way that you continually say to yourself, “Yes, this is me.”, or this is a pattern I keep repeating.” As I turned each page, I found myself getting excited about changing paradigms and beliefs I had about myself. I came to understand these thoughts in a way that I was able to release what was not working and shift my thinking. I wanted to feel happier, yet I felt it was something unattainable. Anna’s book ignited and enlightened my spiritual being. I came to understand that there are no coincidences or accidents, everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to BUT, with some mental renovations, I could be happy. More importantly, I could be fulfilled. The stories of her patients, many of them, resonated with me. I could appreciate their pain as I had been in much pain myself over the years. The exercises work. Do them. I have found love for myself and presently, manifesting what i deserve. This book is a must read as it is a universal gift.
June 26, 2017
This is a brilliant and very thoughtful book! The author uses her own life story and multiple cases from her psychiatry practice to illustrate the psychospiritual principles according to which human beings can grow, evolve and change their lives. The exercises are simple and effective. The prose is well-written and easy to read. The cases are engaging. The stories ring true and feel authentic. I learned a lot in reading this book and would recommend it to anybody who is psychologically-minded, intellectual and spiritual. Loved it!
July 4, 2017
This is one of the first books on the subject of spirituality that I've ever read. I was surprised at how clearly and deeply Dr. Yusim explores the subject. She answered my question about the intersection of science and spirituality. I thought going into reading this book that "the science of spirituality" was a paradox and oxymoron. Now I realize they are actually quite compatible and synergistic. I especially liked the numerous exercises in this book, which I have started using in my everyday life. I hope in the future to read more books by this author.
July 11, 2017
A beautifully written book that speaks to my generation (I’m 28), my parents’ generation (they are 66) and everybody in-between. I found it to be really refreshing, not gimmicky or like someone is trying to tell me how to think or feel. Dr. Yusim tells a story and offers guidance, but leaves the reader to come to his/her own conclusions.
The exercises are interesting and helpful, while the patients’ stories are incredibly relatable. It isn’t just a one time read but a book that is deeply layered and that I will look at again and again depending on where I am in my life.
The exercises are interesting and helpful, while the patients’ stories are incredibly relatable. It isn’t just a one time read but a book that is deeply layered and that I will look at again and again depending on where I am in my life.
July 24, 2017
Fulfilled is an incredible book. I have read many "self-help" books over the years - and this is absolutely one of the best! A very practical and inspirational look at why I do what I do. Her patient stories are amazing and I could identify with many of them. She lays out the steps to fulfillment and happiness in very concrete ways. It's a journey inward - and this book is guiding me on that journey.
I'm getting to know and love myself through this book.
I'm getting to know and love myself through this book.
August 6, 2017
This is a seriously fabulous book. The introduction really allows you to feel the genuine compassion of the author and I think everyone can relate to some aspect if not many of her personal journey. The exercises are easy and I believe they are really helping me sort out some of my issues with anxiety. I loved the chapter on Interconnectedness. This is a wonderful book that helps you decipher the answers to your own personal keys to happiness. Love, love, loved it!
September 26, 2017
Dr. Anna Yusim’s book is fantastic. I wasted too much time NOT in touch with my spirituality. In a world filled with anxiety its hard to be the best YOU, without that. I learned so much from her personal stories, relating them to my own life, and using her exercises. Great read! I wish i had the opportunity to read this when i was younger! Get out of your own way, I say. Thanks for sharing these life lessons.
July 5, 2017
This book was easy to read, easy to understand and hard to put down! I especially enjoyed the exercises because this is a way for somebody who is not ready to start therapy themselves can begin to explore some of Dr. Yusim's ideas in the comfort of their own home. As an avid reader, I have never seen ideas like this presented quite this way before. Innovative and ground-breaking!
July 15, 2017
Insightful, articulate and practical guidance to connect with the deeper purpose of life. Many great real life examples are cited to illustrate some important themes. The exercises make each chapter totally practical. I've already experienced some personal benefits and positive changes from this book! Fabulous and well written!
August 15, 2017
An inspiring read that is well written, insightful, backed by research and real life examples. A powerful book that will have you soul searching and looking for the deeper meaning in your life.
October 12, 2017
It is a very through and inspirational book! One of the few that changed my life!
December 8, 2019
I picked this up after listening to Anna Yusim on the Women of Impact Podcast. I was surprised hear her talk about combining psychology and spirituality.
It was like trying to merge science and religion in my mind. How was that possible?
But I resonated with some of what she said and that was why I wanted to find out more. Overall, I found the book talked about things that made sense like shadow selves and soul corrections. I liked that she mentions many studies to justify what she says. The using of patient stories was good as well as it allows the reader to relate and understand her point better.
I liked that she points out that at times, it may not be so easy to just decide you want to do something and go through with it depending on the cultural context. She brought up the example of her Singaporean patient and how she struggled to achieve her dreams because her father would not let her. And punished her for being open about her wishes.
It is common in Asia for children to be brought up to consider the feelings of others. Often times we are taught to obey our parents, be good and our parents know best. We are also taught not to stand out and make decisions with our families in mind because of Asians being Colletivistic.
Thus, I could relate to much to that example and I felt her pain.
I also liked how she stressed that spirituality does not mean religion. I would have been annoyed if this book came from a religious angle but she is considerate to consider both sides and still provide an experience for both.
I especially liked how she talks about death. Religion and science are not so very different when they say a person never really dies. That was fascinating.
I agreed that many of us feel alone in this world but she states that we would feel better if we believe we are all connected. I find that hard to picture to be honest.
She has exercises for every chapter and most of them are meditation and journaling. The hardest step is emptying the mind. I do yoga but I find it hard to be in the moment and not think of other things.
But sometimes the things suggested sound like fluff or too out of this world for me. Such as telepathy, time not being linear, communicating with those who have passed on, spirit guides and finding answers in dreams.
I think this could be useful for some to spur them into achieving what can make them happy and find a meaningful life. But it would require alot of openmindedness.
It was like trying to merge science and religion in my mind. How was that possible?
But I resonated with some of what she said and that was why I wanted to find out more. Overall, I found the book talked about things that made sense like shadow selves and soul corrections. I liked that she mentions many studies to justify what she says. The using of patient stories was good as well as it allows the reader to relate and understand her point better.
I liked that she points out that at times, it may not be so easy to just decide you want to do something and go through with it depending on the cultural context. She brought up the example of her Singaporean patient and how she struggled to achieve her dreams because her father would not let her. And punished her for being open about her wishes.
It is common in Asia for children to be brought up to consider the feelings of others. Often times we are taught to obey our parents, be good and our parents know best. We are also taught not to stand out and make decisions with our families in mind because of Asians being Colletivistic.
Thus, I could relate to much to that example and I felt her pain.
I also liked how she stressed that spirituality does not mean religion. I would have been annoyed if this book came from a religious angle but she is considerate to consider both sides and still provide an experience for both.
I especially liked how she talks about death. Religion and science are not so very different when they say a person never really dies. That was fascinating.
I agreed that many of us feel alone in this world but she states that we would feel better if we believe we are all connected. I find that hard to picture to be honest.
She has exercises for every chapter and most of them are meditation and journaling. The hardest step is emptying the mind. I do yoga but I find it hard to be in the moment and not think of other things.
But sometimes the things suggested sound like fluff or too out of this world for me. Such as telepathy, time not being linear, communicating with those who have passed on, spirit guides and finding answers in dreams.
I think this could be useful for some to spur them into achieving what can make them happy and find a meaningful life. But it would require alot of openmindedness.
April 29, 2024
This groundbreaking book seamlessly blends the realms of science and spirituality, offering readers a profound understanding of how these two seemingly disparate worlds can intersect to create a life of profound meaning and joy.
Dr. Ann Yusuf, with her extensive background in both medicine and spirituality, expertly guides readers through a transformative exploration of the human experience. Drawing on the latest scientific research and timeless spiritual wisdom, she illuminates the profound connection between mind, body, and spirit, revealing how each aspect contributes to our overall well-being.
One of the most compelling aspects of "Fulfilled" is Dr. Yusuf's ability to distill complex concepts into accessible, actionable insights. Whether you're new to the world of spirituality or a seasoned seeker, you'll find practical exercises and strategies to apply in your daily life. From mindfulness practices to cultivating gratitude, each chapter offers a wealth of tools to help you cultivate greater happiness and fulfillment.
But what truly sets "Fulfilled" apart is its message of hope and empowerment. Dr. Yusuf reminds us that no matter our past experiences or current circumstances, we have the power to create positive change in our lives. Through inspiring stories, relatable anecdotes, and heartfelt guidance, she encourages readers to embrace their inner strength and step into a life of purpose and fulfillment.
In a world filled with uncertainty and challenges, "Fulfilled" serves as a beacon of light, guiding readers toward a brighter, more meaningful future. Whether you're seeking greater happiness, deeper connections, or a sense of inner peace, this book is sure to leave you feeling inspired, empowered, and ready to live your most fulfilling life.
Don't miss out on the transformative wisdom of "Fulfilled" by Ann Yusuf MD. Pick up your copy today!
Dr. Ann Yusuf, with her extensive background in both medicine and spirituality, expertly guides readers through a transformative exploration of the human experience. Drawing on the latest scientific research and timeless spiritual wisdom, she illuminates the profound connection between mind, body, and spirit, revealing how each aspect contributes to our overall well-being.
One of the most compelling aspects of "Fulfilled" is Dr. Yusuf's ability to distill complex concepts into accessible, actionable insights. Whether you're new to the world of spirituality or a seasoned seeker, you'll find practical exercises and strategies to apply in your daily life. From mindfulness practices to cultivating gratitude, each chapter offers a wealth of tools to help you cultivate greater happiness and fulfillment.
But what truly sets "Fulfilled" apart is its message of hope and empowerment. Dr. Yusuf reminds us that no matter our past experiences or current circumstances, we have the power to create positive change in our lives. Through inspiring stories, relatable anecdotes, and heartfelt guidance, she encourages readers to embrace their inner strength and step into a life of purpose and fulfillment.
In a world filled with uncertainty and challenges, "Fulfilled" serves as a beacon of light, guiding readers toward a brighter, more meaningful future. Whether you're seeking greater happiness, deeper connections, or a sense of inner peace, this book is sure to leave you feeling inspired, empowered, and ready to live your most fulfilling life.
Don't miss out on the transformative wisdom of "Fulfilled" by Ann Yusuf MD. Pick up your copy today!
November 5, 2018
Thoughtful and thought provoking
The book is an invitation to tap into one’s soul and experiences to lead a more fulfilling life.
It is a marvelous journey through stories of others, a thought provoking writing that inspires and calls for positive thinking, following one’s dreams and interconnectedness with the universe. I found it to be very uplifting and fulfilling, and would recommend it to anyone. Love Anna’s energy and her fluid style of writing that connects to the reader on a personal level.
The book is an invitation to tap into one’s soul and experiences to lead a more fulfilling life.
It is a marvelous journey through stories of others, a thought provoking writing that inspires and calls for positive thinking, following one’s dreams and interconnectedness with the universe. I found it to be very uplifting and fulfilling, and would recommend it to anyone. Love Anna’s energy and her fluid style of writing that connects to the reader on a personal level.
April 8, 2018
I have no idea what the majority of the book had to do with fulfillment. There is a bit of science, some general discussion of spirituality and quantum physics (your better off watching Marlee Mailtin’s movie), and too much about telepathy, life after death, and such.
The writing exercises may be good practice for those who don’t already have an established journaling practice. And learning to stop and breathe is valuable to all of us. That’s about it.
The writing exercises may be good practice for those who don’t already have an established journaling practice. And learning to stop and breathe is valuable to all of us. That’s about it.
August 31, 2018
At one point, this book got really weird by talking about telepathy and interaction with the "other realm" which I find it hard to believe, coming from the science point of view. Ironically, those were the more interesting parts of the book. You are not missing anything if you don't read this book.
May 9, 2019
If you are interested in psychology and spirituality, you will like this book. It is full of interesting and thought provoking information, and contains many exercises to improve spirituality and conscious living.
May 23, 2019
I wanted to love this book since I spend a lot of time thinking about how spirituality impacts our lives. But after a brief introduction to the science, the case studies did not hold my attention. Struggled to get through this.
August 13, 2017
I was unable to cross the 30% mark as I felt the book is too preachy and boring
February 17, 2018
Good book for research into Spirituality and the workplace maybe?
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