Wempires

by Daniel Pinkwater

After watching a horror movie on TV, Jonathan decides he wants to be a vampire. He dresses up in a cape, puts salad oil on his hair, and even wears fangs to school. This amusing tale will have young readers in stitches, while easing any fears of "things that go bump in the night".

Genres: Picture Books, Vampires, Childrens, Humor, Fiction

32 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 1991

About the author

Daniel Manus Pinkwater is an author of mostly children's books and is an occasional commentator on National Public Radio. He attended Bard College. Well-known books include Lizard Music, The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death, Fat Men from Space, Borgel, and the picture book The Big Orange Splot. Pinkwater has also illustrated many of his books in the past, although for more recent works that task has passed to his wife Jill Pinkwater.

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 3 out of 5]

After seeing a vampire movie on TV, young Jonathan is hooked . . . well, more like obsessed. Even though Halloween is long over, his mother sees no harm in making him a costume. The problem comes when he wants to wear it to school. And when he buys fangs and threatens to bite the other children, his teacher, Ms. Van Helsing (Tee-hee!), sends a strongly worded note to his mother.

One night, Jonathan gets to meet three vampires. (Or, wempires, as they call themselves.) But what gives? They look like middle-aged accountants and prefer a nosh of cold chicken and ginger ale to drinking blood. AND - they're messy!

Will our boy change his mind about vampires?

This is a pretty cute, quick read that kids and adults should both enjoy.

[Abigail · Rating 3 out of 5]

When Jonathan sees a thrilling vampire movie, and decides to become a vampire himself, he soon runs into opposition, both from his teacher, who insists that he is not allowed to bite the other students, and from his parents, who threaten to "take steps." But when a trio of ginger-ale-drinking "Wempires" visit him late one night, Jonathan is confirmed in his belief that vampires are pretty cool...

Written and illustrated by Daniel Pinkwater, Wempires has all the tongue-in-cheek humor one would expect from this brilliant author. The disruption of reader expectation is something at which Pinkwater excels, and what could be more incongruous than the amiable trio of wempires, who address Jonathan as "sonnyboy," and think drinking blood is "icky?" An entertaining picture book, this would make an excellent selection for a Halloween story-hour.

[Phil J · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another oddball picture book from Pinkwater before his wife took over illustrating duties. A kid identifies as a vampire, but adults are not accepting. The story plays out with wry humor. Reading in 2021, it's hard to avoid reading this book as a transgender story. Given the way the book ends, that interpretation is definitely not what Pinkwater was going for. It's more about trying to join a group you don't understand, then changing your mind once you get to know them.

[Jackie "the Librarian" · Rating 5 out of 5]

After Jonathan sees a vampire movie on TV, he decides that's the life for him! Er, unlife. Anyhow, his mom makes him a vampire costume complete with cape, and he slicks his hair back and terrorizes his classmates and his little sister.

Then, he gets a late night visit himself! A trio of unusual vampires come through the window, call him sonny, and demand a midnight snack of cold chicken and ginger ale. I'm not sure, but I think they might be Jewish vampires. Er, wempires. I love their sneakers!

Jonathan's mom is not so amused, though, when she finds the mess they are making in her kitchen, and she tosses the intruders out. But Jonathan is even more impressed than ever. Those were some cool vampires!

[Kendall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok, this is hilarious...but I think it's because I'm an adult. I can't imagine any kid reading this and "getting" it. The wempires are barely-disguised middle-aged Jewish men who eat sardine sandwiches. I think it's hilarious and a gem, but it's really not for kids.

[Michaela Klegseth · Rating 4 out of 5]

After seeing a movie about vampire a young boy wanted to be one. It was not Halloween time but he still asks him mother to make a costume and she agreed. He acted like a vampire at home but at school he was not aloud to be like a vampire.When vampires came through his window at night he assumed what they do and like but they told him that they do things differently then the stereotype. The boys mom caught them and told them to leave and explained why she did not want him to act like them. After meeting them he declared that he will continue to like being a vampire.I believe the vampires represent people the boy looks up to and he wanted to change himself to be like them. I like how the book represents parents supporting their children's interests even when they think it might be weird.

[Adrianne Rosal · Rating 5 out of 5]

The third graders really liked this book. They thought it was hilarious!! Really good story!

[Lexi · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a bizarre book! I really enjoyed the weirdness

[Dolly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very strange tale about a young boy with a fascination, almost obsession with vampires. Although the story takes place in the winter, three months after Halloween, I think Halloween is the perfect time to read this story.

I liked that the boy's obsession was restricted to his time out of school, and I thought it was humorous that his teacher's last name is Van Helsing, since that's the last name of the vampire hunter in the book, Dracula by Bram Stoker.

I have no idea what the visit by the three middle-aged, sneaker-wearing, sardine sandwich-munching wempires was all about, though, and it just made the story even weirder. And the illustrations were a bit too rudimentary for my taste. Still, our girls thought it was a funny story and we enjoyed reading it together.

[R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay, confession.

I didn't read the picture book version...I read the short story (prose only) version in an anthology of horror, fantasy.

At the library.

I'm glad to see that this tale won't be lost in anthologyville, where good (great) stories go to be discovered (or, more often than not, undiscovered).

Basically, the story is about a little boy who falls in love with the idea of being a vampire while watching them on TV. He starts to go to school, make trouble, etc. T

hen, one night, a couple of real vampires (with Star Trek's Chekov's accent, thus "Wempires") come into the house and make a mess in the kitchen, much to the mother's annoyance.

Simple and sweet.

[Terri · Rating 3 out of 5]

I knew I would enjoy the book when I saw it was dedicated to FW Murnau!

The young boy (Jonathan Harker) watches a vampire movie and decides he wants to BE a vampire. His mother makes him a costume and hopes he grows out of it soon.

Then at midnight one night, three vampires come to visit and he decides he definitely wants to be a vampire.

Very cute tale!

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

The boy in this book decides that he wants to be a vampire becuase they look "real smooth." He begins to dress and act like the vampire he has seen on tv. He meets some real vampires and discovers they are not exactly what he expected. I think that this book is a great way to introduce the idea of stereotypes to children as well as the idea that things aren't always as they seem.

[Lori S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun, fun!

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not one of my favorites but an average Pinkwater is still better than 99% of everything else out there.

[Carrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adults will love this but kids will too if you read expressively.