Not Just Me: Anxiety, depression, and learning to embrace your weird

by Lisa Jakub

“Poignant, accessible, helpful, hilarious (often snort-out-loud hilarious), and 100% relevant to the problems that people struggle with every day.”
- Dr. Lisa B. Nelson, Director of Medical Education at Kripalu
~~~

Lisa Jakub has always been a little weird.

Sensitive. Emotional. Introverted.

What else would you expect from a former child actor turned writer?

But the issue wasn’t just an artistic temperament; Lisa was constantly trying to hide her debilitating anxiety and depression. She assumed that retiring from her eighteen-year acting career and leaving Hollywood was going to be the cure for all of her issues. Guess how that worked out?

Lisa was still having three panic attacks a day and found it hard to leave her house. But when anxiety-induced vomiting claimed the life of her iPod—she knew it was time to get help. It was time to talk about the things that are hard to talk about.

She started to embrace her weird. 

In searching for a deeper understanding of mental wellness, Lisa explored her own history and reached out to others to learn how anxiety and depression impacted their lives. She interviewed Veterans with PTSD and ten-year-olds with sensory integration issues, people with eating disorders and cutting habits, those whose lives were saved by medication and those who found yoga to be the answer. She went to Colorado to learn about the effects of cannabis on anxiety, and attended a meditation retreat in North Carolina to sit quietly for hours and hours and hours in “noble silence.” Without a phone.

Not Just Me is a hopeful, entertaining, enlightening look at the root causes of anxiety, the latest research on mood disorders, and ideas for how we can all live authentically with more peace, power, and purpose. Part memoir, part journalistic exploration—this book reminds all of us that we are not alone.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Mental Health, Biography

319 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 8, 2017

About the author

I'm a writer.
And a reader.
And some other things, too.
I used to be an actor, but after an 18-year career, I decided to search for something that felt more authentic to me. I left Hollywood and moved to Virginia. I love books, yoga, my husband, and books some more.

Read more from me at www.RealLisaJakub.com - our my books My You Look Like That Girl (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...) and Not Just Me (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3...)

Reviews

[Elizabeth☮ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jakub does a great job explaining her own anxiety and how she has learned to deal with it in her own way.

She offers useful tips for those experiencing anxiety themselves or for those that have people in their lives dealing with anxiety. She isn’t preachy, just practical and thorough. Her casual tone made this an easy and relatable read.

[Jamie White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listen, when my dad sent this book to me through Amazon, I wasn’t expecting much. I’d been researching mental health and anxiety for months at that point and felt like a cute, funny self-help book from a former actor couldn’t possibly help me in a meaningful way - at least not more than any of the independent research I was doing.

Well, I was being a snob and I was totally wrong. This book has all sorts of well-researched but approachable descriptions of difficult concepts, relatable moments from people with all sorts of varying mental illness, and genuinely helpful tricks for dealing with them. I’m so happy I read it! Thanks dad, I owe ya one 🥲

[Daniel Brockhan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lisa has written a wonderful book here, filled with good information and relateable stories, both personnel and ones she has picked up from others. Overall, the theme seems to cry "You are Not Alone", which is ironic as our technology would seem to make us closer, true connection is typically felt person-to-person. Still, for some of us because of trauma or the way our brains and chemicals tend to dance around in our brains, we may feel held back by our thoughts or our feelings, which produce in us negative and/or anxious thoughts. Jakub offers glimpses of these differences and options to help combat them, explaining what has worked for her, while acknowledging that what may work for you, as the reader, may be different. If you have read and enjoyed Brene Brown because of her honesty and vulnerability, you will enjoy this book by Lisa Jakub as well. Here is to all of us who feel out of touch with the world sometimes or all the time, who feel off, off, weird, or just plain silly in front of others; may we heal and be able to put ourselves out there despite the mental or emotional storm that has brewed or been brewing in us in the past. May we become better people and hopefully the world can become and more honest and understanding place.

[Dewin Anguas Barnette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't say enough about this book. I have read many books on anxiety, and this was the most comprehensive, easily accessible book ever. You feel like you are in an honest conversation with your best friend throughout, only your best friend is really knowledgeable and funny as hell. Jakub has done her research with this book, but the best part is her honest storytelling of her own experience. The details were what truly got me. Every other book is so big-picture focused. She not only talks about the big picture, but the little details no one ever addresses, like the fact that she wears her sunglasses even when it is cloudy outside, as do I. Reading this book brings comfort, not just via research and facts, but because it creates within itself, through the stories of the author and others, what Jakub refers to as one of the most important- and, again, rarely discussed- contributors to emotional well-being- community.

[Charlyn Keister · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! From the start of the book I felt like someone finally understood me and my experiences. I thoroughly enjoyed Lisa's sense of humor and her ability to explain the scientific details in terms that were easy to follow. This was one of those books where I felt sad when it ended because I kept wanting to read more of it. I would recommend this to anyone who has experienced mental health issues or to anyone who is trying to better understand it.

[Sanjana · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book Not Just Me: Anxiety, Depression, and how to embrace your weird By Lisa Jakub (Released August 5, 2017) is a unique style for non-fiction, self-help book. I for one don’t spend a lot of time reading books of this style. Because of the more serious tone of the author, it can begin dragging and turns very boring to read very quickly. Jakub’s book explores an uncommon side of many mental illnesses using a lighthearted quality by entertaining us with anecdotes. But still remaining very helpful and respectful towards those who do struggle with said mental illnesses. Jakub writes of her own experiences relating to the nearly taboo idea of taking care of your mind and talking about these issues. She helps put the reader in the perspective of someone who deals with these issues on a daily basis. In one chapter Jakub paints a picture of an instance where she was met with a flush of anxiety. The anxiety she was facing was brought on by the number of people in a crowded bar. She describes feeling light-headed, hot and also speaks of shaking uncontrollably and gaining blurry vision. I appreciate the author for speaking on such private and vulnerable moments which help the public deferential anxiety and just being nervous. She also goes on to justify feeling depressed and anxious in modern times. For many people having nice things and a good life repels depression and anxiety but Jakub describes her journey in learning that most mental illnesses are diagnosed and can affect anyone. Along with these issues, she also writes on how to overcome and deal with these circumstances on a daily basis. One thing I found most compelling about the book is that these are techniques that are tried and tested with not only Jakub but with friends and family. It acts as a message with trusted opinions and strategies with a good source, without sacrificing the enjoyment of the book. Though this was exceptionally written one warning I would have for readers is that though Jakub speaks on many facts and is mostly very reliable but still, it is important to not get lost in everything that she says and making sure that a doctor has clarified and helped you for this is only for additional tips and trick, not a foundation on what to do when struggling with anxiety and depression. I think overall, my biggest take away from this book is that through time we are normalizing mental health and illness with the help of talented and resourceful authors and public figures. Kudos to Lisa Jakub the book is exceptional and I would urge all of you to spend time reading it she brings beautiful points into the light and I think pieces like this are crucial to our society especially if we are focused on moving forward in time.

[Rhys Davies · Rating 4 out of 5]

I rather enjoyed this book, a timely discovery since I have been dealing with mental health issues myself. Hearing about Lisa Jakub's life and the struggles she has gone through, along with those of people she has met and interviewed for the book, is an eye-opener. She has met some extraordinary people, as well as some very troubled ones-and her own life has been far from ordinary. Reading about the lives and challenges these people have been through reminds you that there are many, many people in this world who have been through terrible times with mental illness-and these have found a way to work through it.

A former US army officer who is trying a new way to help other former soldiers recover from PTSD. A woman the author met through a meditation and yoga class who has survived awful troubles, a man her age who has found a way to cope after years of barely being able to even live.

A great deal of information about Meditation and Yoga and how it has helped the author cope with her own mental health issues is included, which she recommends right down to including pictures of Yoga positions. She also quotes statistics, people who share her beliefs and teach them. She adds that she hopes, sadly, that her own children take after their happy-go-lucky father and not their troubled mother.

Jakub herself still suffers from mental health problems even decades after getting out of the movie industry, where she started as a child and left as a young woman, but she has found ways to cope. Her mental health journey is very hard on her-it's even harder to imagine living it. But she is now happily Married with children, so she has made it-so far, at least.

Jakub has a Therapist, has tried different kinds of medication and psychological treatments and includes a lot about them. She has found that Meditation and Yoga are best for levelling her out and keeping her there, so suggests others with mental health issues should attempt the same. I appreciate that these methods worked for her, but I am not yet sure if they will work for me.

The only complaint I have is that she doesn't really go into how to manage when you are so mentally ill that you simply cannot continue to either function or fake it, at home or work. The question comes up, but isn't really answered. However: if you want to read a well-written book showing that people suffering from mental ill-health in the world often need help and, no, they cannot "Cheer up!" because many, many people have complex reasons for being the way they are?

Read this book, it's well worth it.

[Ava Axtell · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Not Just Me” by Lisa Jakub is an excellent novel about the struggles people with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues face on a day to day basis. It is a nonfiction book that was actually published recently (August 5, 2017) with a consistent theme of how you are not alone. This book identifies characteristics of depression and anxiety, shares stories of peoples’ experiences with them, and acknowledges how modern times have affected mental health.
“Not Just Me” is written from the perspective of a child star who grew up dealing with pressure and an aspiration to be perfect. This experience eventually led to a negative impact in her life and she decided to take that and turn it into a story. Jakub mentions multiple realistic struggles that she and hundreds of others encounter daily. She addresses the stigma surrounding mental illness and the cynical ideas some believe about it. I, personally, think that some of the best aspects of this book was the relatable manner in which she presented the information and stories. I also appreciated the exercises listed at the ends of each chapter to help relax when feeling anxious or depressed. Jakub very much emphasized the point that no one is alone and provided a friend for people who are suffering.
I highly recommend this novel for anyone to read, not just people who are struggling with a mental illness because it is very informative and breaks the ice. Mental illness is definitely a tough topic to talk about, even with it gaining recognition in the media because of the opposite views some have about it. There are many people who believe that it is a person’s choice and they are choosing to make themselves upset, but in reality, that is not the case at all. Different disorders can result from a variety of things, from trauma to genetics. I would recommend that all readers read this book with an open mind, especially ones who believe that mental illness is not a real issue.
In summary, “Not Just Me” is a moving and educational novel that addresses everything from vulnerability to coping methods and makes people feel significant. She points out the tiniest details that others are able to relate to on a personal level. Whether you are suffering or simply want to educate yourself, this is an amazing book to read.

[GSMC Book Review Podcast · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book description alone gives you a glimpse of how great this book is, equal parts humor and factual information. As someone who has gone through my own struggles with both anxiety and depression I had so many "yes!" moments while reading. It reminds us that no matter what that voice tells us, we aren't alone and we aren't weird in how we are feeling. As you read the book you can feel Lisa's passion about this topic, her honesty about her own experiences, and her willingness to do whatever she can to help others who are struggling. She gives concrete methods throughout the book of things to try, from yoga and meditation, to breathing techniques, to a form letter that can be downloaded to help you talk to your doctor about your experiences. I would recommend to this book to anyone who has experienced anxiety and/or depression but also anyone who knows anyone with these experiences or simply needs an accessible source of information and experiences.

[Gary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t express how much I love this book. When I have some free time, I will write a full review. I think this is a must-read for everyone, whether or not you have anxiety or depression. Even if you don’t, its highly likely you’re close to someone who does. Before you read this book, you should also read “You Look Like That Girl: A Child Actor Stops Pretending and Finally Grows Up” (Lisa’s first book). I love that one as well. Its her backstory and will give you a deeper understanding of who she is and what she’s all about. I love her writing style. Both books are super easy to read, even when shit gets heavy. Both books made me laugh and cry and I learned a lot. Read these as soon as you can.

[Kristin Bateman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is this most real, most honest, most helpful book I've ever read about what it's like to suffer from anxiety.

Lisa Jakub was a former childhood actress who retired from the limelight due to anxiety and depression. I first read her memoir "You Look Like That Girl" this summer and was enthralled by her writing voice, so naturally, I needed to pick up this book. (Fun fact: My copy of the text is personally autographed by the author.)

I've never felt so validated, so much at peace, and so much that I'm not alone. I was able to gain many suggestions about how to cope with anxiety, how my feelings are legit, and how important yoga is.

#namaste

[Molly Patton · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's so much good stuff in this book. And it's been very helpful, too. Besides assuring the reader that they are not the only ones with brains trying to attack them, the author gives lots of good factual information about mental illnesses. She also relays anecdotes and personal stories from dozens of different real people facing their own mental challenges. Finally, she lays out the many different ways to get help and to possibly feel better. Some of these I've tried. Some I will try. She regularly reminds the reader that everyone is different, and your mileage may vary. But just reading this made me feel "heard" and a little bit understood, and brought me some much-appreciated hope.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Former child actress, Lisa Jakub writes about her own life experience with Anxiety, depression. She is honest about how it was like for her to be anxious, depressed and what she has done to help cope. She offers her own experiences and other people and their stories. she also has chapters on what can be done to help. so chapters on Yoga, Meditation, eating the right foods and trying to eliminate the not good foods { like sugar and carbs} one chapter on using cannabis in different forms. A nice helpful book.

[Carolina Magalhaes · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a psychologist I always like to read personal experiences. This book can be a good help in case you are feeling alone in anxiety, even the most severe cases such as panic attacks. It can help mostly so that 1. you don't feel like you're alone (you are not); 2. It teaches some good coping exercises you can and should practice.
But it is also important that you seek professional help if your anxiety is impairing your life. The book mentions it too.

[Anniek · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel seen! I encourage anyone dealing with anxiety or depression to read this book. I think I’d even recommend it to people who don’t suffer from them, just so they can get even more out of life and be even more at peace with themselves. Lisa’s quirky writing took some getting used to, but I rolled with it and came to enjoy it. Thanks for writing this and for everyone who contributed, thank you for being so open about your own experiences.

[Stephen Hamilton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't expect to blitz through this book in a weekend; it's not that kind of book. It is, however, exactly how it is described on the cover: poignant, accessible, helpful, hilarious and relevant. It has forced me to confront my social anxiety, my history of depression, my diet and got me interested in yoga. Life changing? Perhaps not, but it's made an impact.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am already missing Lisa! She felt like a kindred soul who gave me a lot of topics/suggestions to think about. The few times I tried reading books on anxiety and depression that where supposed to help, I was really let down. I am glad I gave this book a try: informative, well written and most of all helpful!

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reader Comments

This book is a good read for those with an anxiety disorder. Reading this book helped me to see that others out there have the same problems with anxiety that I do. Knowing that helped me to feel better.

[Jamie Willmott · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone struggling with anxiety and depression, this was a welcome read. The book was raw and honest and a lot of it rang true. The book was well-researched and I appreciated both the educational component and the personal stories.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Author is super relatable with a great voice and witty writing style. Book is very insightful, informative and helpful. Can't wait to practice and try out some of the techniques. Great place to start for those seeking relief from anxiety and depression. Recommended.

[Onionboy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was awesome. She is an excellent writer, and ver open and honest. It is very down-to-earth, and relatable. I highlighted so many passages. And I bought the audiobook so my family will listen. It really made me feel like I could try many of the things she suggested to help.

[Caitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lisa wrote in a way that was informative, humorous, empathetic, sympathetic, and relatable. the list of people I've recommended it to is growing exponentially

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book written by someone who has actually been there. Lisa gets it, and she offers advice, tips and laughs on this very difficult subject that plagues so many people.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very good self-help guide for those suffering anxiety and depression, and a good place to start for those whose friends or loved ones are suffering.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great resource - many actionable suggestions, and an honest and entertaining read from someone who’s lived it.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good overview of anxiety and depression, the history of both, possible ways to ease both and stories of people affected by both.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Delightfully honest and accessible. Reading the book was like a hug from a good friend.

[Matthew Younce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't say enough about how wonderful Lisa's book is. If you have anxiety and/or depression, you will find yourself agreeing with so much of what she talks about. You'll feel your own experiences mirror hers and the others she profiles.

This is equal parts self-help, reference, and biography. There is lots of advice on how to deal with your particular mental health struggles, with each chapter devoted to a different area. There's information on the science behind particular techniques and why it works. And there's the stories Lisa shares about her life and the ways her mental health have affected her.

And I highly recommend getting the audio book so you can listen to Lisa read the book to you. She's an outstanding narrator as well.