The Muslimah Sex Manual: A Halal Guide to Mind Blowing Sex

by Umm Muladhat

Two years ago, I was congratulating a young Muslimah on her engagement. She was thrilled about starting married life and you could see the happiness emanating from her as everyone gave her their best wishes. A few months later, I could tell something was wrong. After some cajoling, she shyly admitted the truth. Her sex life was horrible. In fact, it was fast becoming non-existent. She had been a model Muslimah her entire life. Before marriage, she had never so much as held a non-mahram’s hand, let alone become physically intimate with one. She had eagerly looked forward to marriage as a chance to finally indulging in all the physical intimacy she had postponed for the sake of Allah. But it wasn’t working. Coming from the medical field, she knew all the relevant biology. She could draw and label all the parts of male and female anatomy. She had taken fiqh classes and knew the legal rulings of menstruation and intercourse. But she didn’t know sex. Oh, she knew the mechanics. Insert penis into vagina. Climax. Withdraw. But she didn’t know how to make her husband yearn for her in bed. She didn’t know what he liked. She didn’t even know what she liked! They had begun eagerly but after a few weeks, realized that neither of them was truly enjoying having sex with each other. And so began my impromptu sex skills workshop. I threw at her all the information I’d gathered over years of marriage. Things I’d learned from experience, tidbits I’d gleaned from friends, tips I’d picked up from magazine articles. One thing here, two things there. All those bits had accumulated into a very healthy and robust sex life between me and my husband. I gave her everything, fervently hoping that it would help her in her marital life. A month later, I saw her again. This time she had a gigantic smile on her face. “Please, write this down and share it with other Muslim girls. No one teaches this. We’re thrown into marriage and only know the fiqh and the biology.” I wrote down everything I told her on a Word document and emailed it to her. She shared it with her friends who were newly married. They shared it with their friends. Before long, word trickled back to me that people were asking me to write a book on the subject. So here it is. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Introduction Who is this book for? 5 Myths about Muslim sex The anatomy of male and female genitalia Body image issues Genital hygiene Birth Control Kegels Sexting Kissing Dry humping Dressing up (lingerie, role play) Lubricants How to give a handjob How to give a massage How to do a strip-tease How to give a blowjob Your first time Sexual positions Girl-on-top positions Doggy-style positions Face-to-face positions Spooning positions Lying on your stomach Lying on your back What to say during sex How to be a freak in bed Between-breast sex Femoral sex Quickies Shower sex Rough sex Dirty talk Forced sex fantasies BDSM Public sex The simple things

Genres: Islam, Religion, Muslimah, Nonfiction, Sexuality

87 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 7, 2017

Reviews

[Arghavan-紫荆 · Rating 2 out of 5]

راستش این رو برای تفریح خوندم که ببینم چه چیزای "بحث برانگیزی" داره که دربارشون کلی حرف بشه زد؛ اما حقیقتش رو بخوام بگم، تا حدی کتاب آموزنده‌ای بود و اصلا اونطوری که فکر میکردم تحجری نبود، درباره لذت جنسی همزمان دو طرف، بی‌دی‌اس‌ام، تمایل دامیننت بودن توی خانمها یا سابمیشن توی مردها، انواع پوزیشن‌های غیر وانیلا و خیلی چیزهای دیگه که معمولا توی جامعه اسلامی تابو محسوب میشن حرف زده بود. بنظرم برای یه کسی که واقعا هیچ آموزش جنسی دریافت نکرده چه از طرف خانواده چه مدرسه، چه مدیا (ایرانِ با اینترنت داخلی رو تصور کنید) میتونه واقعا نجات دهنده باشه.
ولی با این حال، یه چیزایی بازم بود که میخوام دربارش حرف بزنم.

وسط کتاب یهو متوجه یچیز عجیب شدم، اینکه تمام کتاب خطاب به یه زن مزدوج نوشته شده! یعنی مدام میگه تو و شوهرت برای حل فلان مشکل باید فلان کنید! تو و شوهرت! برای حل مشکل!
با توجه به اینکه هیچ جای جلد یا پشت جلد کتاب اشاره نشده که این یه کتاب راهنما برای خانمهاست، بنظرم عجیبه که توضیحات رو مستقیم و بدون محدود کردن مخاطب بیان نکنه و فکر کنه که تنها مخاطب‌های این کتاب زن‌هایی هستن که ازدواج کردن و بعد ازینکه به مشکل خوردن دارن میان یاد بگیرن! و مسئله این خودش کلی حرف داره برای گفتن، اول اینکه آموزش در سن نوجوانی اتفاق نمیفته که یوقت چشم و گوش کسی باز نشه و اجازه بدید برن یکم کلنجار برن بعد بیان مشکلاتی که صرفا بخاطر عدم آگاهی به وجود اومده رو براش دنبال راه حل بگردن. یک این، دو اینکه اگر مشکلی وجود داره از طرف زنه و خودش هم باید بره دنبال راه حلش و به مرد ربطی نداره... هوف.

و یچیز دیگه هم که برام جالب بود این بود که کلی توضیح درباره بلوجاب داده بود و اصلا اشاره نکرده بود که اینکار از نظر اسلام حرام محسوب میشه. که خب بازم نمی‌فهمم چرا واقعا توی ازدواج بازم ممکنه از نظر کسی حرام باشه، ولی خب.

مورد سوم و آخر، اینکه فکر کنم تنها منبعی بود که توی عمرم دیدم پوزیشن هارو بدون عکس فقط توضیح داده بود... خیلی گیج کننده و تقریبا غیرقابل فهم حتی! بابا خواهشا، قرن ۲۱مه، مخاطبت هم که دیگه خودت میگی ازدواج کرده، چندتا آدمک بدون جزئیات که این حرفهارو نداره...

[Lumturi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this one. I like the idea of giving sex tips for religious Muslim women, but I feel like the same information can be gained elsewhere like from other books or websites.

This book has a lot of errors and typos like missing words and incorrect spacing.

Also, much of this book is simply dedicated to sex positions and with no illustrations it was really hard to understand. When I looked up the names for, uhh, clarification I found a lot of them seem to be taken from a website called "bad girls bible."

I find parts of it, like the swearing, a little graphic for me. I was surprised there's no mention on how oral sex is deemed by some scholars outright haraam and by others very disliked. There's quite a few tips dedicated to it in fact. This is so odd since this book is written from a conservative perspective and it's hard to find a fatwa allowing this without saying it's disliked.

I think the ideal book on this subject for Muslims would be combining legal opinions, hadith, and sex tips in one book. I understand the author didn't wish to do this, but without this element it's really lacking.

[Faathimah Bookmark My World · Rating 3 out of 5]

I came across this book on a South African influencer's page and of course... Curiosity got the better of me... And why not? Lol
I feel a bit confused as to whether this was an educational read/not.. 🤔
I think i enjoyed more of the anatomy and facts and statistics part of this book, more than the "tips".
I feel so weird talking about these kinda things without giggling like a little girl, even though I'm already married for 10 years lol..
I don't think there was anything extra spectacular about this guide, although for a person who is going into marriage knowing nothing about sex, it could be helpful..
What really threw me off was how "oral sex" is mentioned so often (and without a side-note even about how the majority of the ulama, have deemed it haram)! I understand this not being an islamic book, but i feel that such a major (what would be a sin) would have at least been mentioned somewhere.. Even as a side note!
Apart from that, I agree with the rest of the guide and if you choose to read this(as a South African hanafi muslim) i hope you do so with a pinch of salt! (with an open mind)!

[Nuri · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't impressed by the quality of the book (come on, before publishing any book, as tiny as it might be, you should check for spelling mistakes!!!!), and didn't learn a lot of new, but can imagine that many young unmarried Muslim girls need exactly that, and we as a community need to talk about it openly, so I'm glad the little book was written and published.

[Faseeha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why didn't I get it before my wedding?

It feels like i knew only 10% of what does inside the bedroom. This is one of the best books for any Muslim who wants to have a healthy and fun sex life. I'm sure to recommend this book to all my friends.

[Nur Wulan Nugrahani · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most straightforward explanation of sex for muslimah ever. I gain new perspectives the most logical reason not to watch porn as educational media, that men are as insecure as women about their physical appearance (but they ignore it), and good in bed is one of the key to maintain a healthy marriage.

[Mohd. Azhar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pleasure & intimacy importance

I like the importance given by this book to the blessed relationship of husband and wife which is beyond that the present society/internet norms. That bondage of love and care and respect to each other. Understanding each other's need & the commands of the Creator.

[Fatima Mohammed · Rating 3 out of 5]

Now this was something I’d never thought I’d come across or read, but glad I did in a way. Nothing fresh, different or ground-breaking, yet it felt nice to read something that still considered the Muslim factor. Was it mind-blowing as she said? Hardly, despite the explanation being simple and clear. A fun, light read still.

[Aya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Applicable and simple

A very applicable well organized ,scientific and handy book
I really liked it and it really made a difference
Jazaky allahu khayran

[Muslimah]

Mashallah

[Ruci Tukana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad!

[Mehfooz Abbass]

umda

[Sabrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

To read my full detailed review of this book (and MANY more!) please go to my book blog @ https://sabrinareads365.blogspot.com

[Abdulrahman Ameera · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's super nice. But I'm having problem to read it

[Rakiya Ibrahim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please really want to read this book

[Nazmus Saadat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read for young unmarried muslims to know what is haram and halal in marriage. However found some things which for sure are just imitation of western culture.

[Joud · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very nice initiative from Um M. very proud of her. I'm sure this had helped many of our sisters.

The book is very basic, straightforward and summarized. There is a very obvious lack of social awareness. It's low-key male centered. But if you consider yourself a conservative Muslim the book is safe for you. It can be really helpful if you know nothing about sex and starting from the zero or if you wondering what's exactly halal/haram otherwise it's too basic and needless to read.

It's really heartbreaking and disappointing to see how our communities and ummah are still on THAT page yet. I can't imagine how our women had to suffer for generations -and still suffering- and how they were deprived from their own bodies. My anger and resentment towards patriarchy and colonialism grows as I realize more and more..

[Ali Dada · Rating 4 out of 5]

We think Umm Muladhat is very courageous in publishing a badly needed book like this. It covers many of the subjects that are taboo in any conservative community, including the Muslim community. The book is pretty short at 87 pages and is all text. We were very inspired by the "The Muslimah Sex Manual." and ended up writing "The Perfumed Garden 2", which is more comprehensive and adds illustrations to make things more clear. We're not here just to give a plug of our book! Our favorite sex guides are the books by Dr. Laura Berman, "The Muslim Marriage Guide by Ruqayyah Waris Maqsood" , and "The New Art of Sexual Ecstasy" by Margot Anand No one book can cover it all, each has different insights and tips.

[Jannat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my goodness. I was definitely overwhelmed by this book although I did skip a few parts. This just seems like a lot of work and “techniques” to remember but I appreciate the author mentioning everything there is about intimacy. I surely learned a lot, and I’ll have to come back to this book when I’m married so I can use the knowledge hands on. 🫡🤭

[Dawah Crib · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really good book for those planning to get married and are confused regarding this topic that is highly controversial among the muslim ummāh. Touches all aspects of intimacy following the guidelines of the shariāh..

[Muhummad Saeed]

T

[Frank Castle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hello, please answer my question, so u mentioned at hand jobs the precum, and u said to rub it across male organ, but at blowjob, won't this precum enter Ur mouth? And is it ok to enter?

[Imad Al Khaifi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Straight forward and insightful.

[Amber]

Yes, well I found this book not helpful at all....

[Umar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a mature content book, yet educational; it's about rulings on sexual acts mostly for women. Just a reminder, there's nothing bad to educate yourself about sex in Islam or in general.

[belma]

educational

[Husein Alibhai · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think its really good that Umm Muladhat wrote this book. As a practicing muslim I strongly beleive that sex is more than just two people exchanging bodily fluids and performing an "act" until satisfaction is acieved. Its something intimate that should be saved for a special person.
With that being said sex is still a taboo topic in most communities and I think its great that she wrote this for couples who suffer in silence. It was well written. Nothing too explicit or sexually profound, but a good read nonetheless!

[Neeraj Sharma]

I wonder why I read this book? Don't give it a f*ck.