Tex

by Tex Perkins

Singer. Songwriter. Swamp child. Soul man. Tex Perkins is a true rock'n'roll animal. In this loud, uncut, no-holds-barred, laugh-out-loud and take-no-prisoners memoir, the enigmatic king of the Australian music underground lays bare an extraordinary life lived on the road, on the stage and on the edge.

Raised a bible-thumping Catholic and beaten bloody on the streets of Brisbane for being a "cow-punk", skinny Gregory Perkins flees to Sydney and mutates into "Tex", rogue leader of the Dums Dums, Thug and Salamander Jim before finding a strange kind of success, celebrity, sex symboldom and icon status as Tex Perkins, snake-hipped, honey-voiced, often bloodied frontman of influential Aussie bands the Cruel Sea, Beasts of Bourbon and Tex, Don & Charlie... and inventor of "Zoneball".

Gigs. Albums. Tours. Fights. Feuds. Arrests. Drugs. High times. Low roads. This is a wild ride of a life written loudly, proudly and full of punk energy.

Genres: Music, Biography, Nonfiction, Australia

352 pages, Paperback

Published July 25, 2017

Reviews

[Nat K · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5★s for me.

"When you're old you gotta have a few crazy stories to tell about yourself. The trick is remembering them."

Tex Perkins is an absolute cool dude and music legend.

How to write an un-biased review without the personality of Tex Perkins seeming to peer over my shoulder?

Tex is a stalwart who has been around the music biz in what seems like ”forever". I remember seeing him in either ’90 or ’91 at the Hordern Pav, where The Cruel Sea were the support act for Transvision Vamp. Can you believe?! I can still clearly see him taunting the crowd with “Wennnndy…Wennnndy…You want Wennnnndy, don’t you”**. He was quite menacing, but oh-so-mesmerising. And yes, the support act was much better than the headliner.

But I digress! This is about the book***, which is wickedly humorous, amusing, and keenly observant. It had me snorting with laughter in so many parts. There are many things which Tex talks about that made me smile (such as watching “Countdown” on a small black’n’white telly on a Sunday night). Growing up in Brissie, not really fitting in, the trials and tribulations of school, falling into music…

Tex is part of Aussie rock royalty (my words, not his), and has been in a myriad of all sorts of notorious bands of various guises. He is a ferocious talent, which is why he's stuck around for so long. And if you want to see him in action, look up a few of the "Rockwiz" episodes which he's appeared on.

I like this book for the fact that it isn’t one of those sleazy, salacious tell-all rock’n’roll bios.

Yup, I'll say it again. Tex Perkins is one cool dude.

** Wendy James (Transvision Vamp lead singer)
***Co-written with Stuart Coupe (another Aussie music stalwart, who’s been around for yonks)

[Luke · Rating 5 out of 5]

TEX IS SEX, or so read the graffiti I used to see sometimes. Everyone kind of knows the guy - Greg to his mum - whether it's because they used to see the Beasts, or because of that fight at the ARIAs, or because he's the dude who makes albums with Don and Charlie, or because of that time he suggested it might be time for legal advice. You know - that guy.

This is a book about that guy - and the fact that that guy isn't the same as that Greg guy - and how both of 'em have managed to make a life out of music. It's not weighty, but fuck, it delivers a much better portrait of its leading man than many other music books deliver of their subjects.

Corralled into shape with a light touch from Stuart Coupe, the book seems pretty natural: it flits from place to place, guided roughly by Perkins' discography. There's snippets of memories of everything he's made, from Thug on down, and they're recounted with an around-the-table openness. It's a bit of a time capsule, conveying a sense of how gigging, government and travel occurred from the '80s onwards, and I felt quiet glee reading about gigs I'd seen, or places I'd been, too.

What's refreshing about this book is that unlike a lot of other self-penned rock tomes, it's lighter on the self-mythologising than expected. Indeed, Perkins talks about the whole "women want to be with him, men want to be him" thing with good humour. He's open with the fact he can be a prick of an interview subject - though that varies with the writer's on mushroom-headedness, obviously - but is forthright with thanks and praise for his fellow musos. There's a lot of man-crushing in the book, all (it seems) genuine: the guy has a love for the people who've helped make his music. Frankly, it's a good breather from the whole separate-dressing-rooms-no-speakies kind of shit musicians with long careers can get into. The author's awareness of the silliness and the seriousness of rock comes across pretty clearly, and it's refreshing.

If you've ever been vaguely interested in the guy - from the white-tee menace of 'Chase the Dragon' to the white-suited smarm of The Ladyboyz, and every other project he's had a thumb in - then this is worth a look. It's a big-hearted book about a big boofhead who's managed to make a good fist of this music caper, and has the self-awareness and grace to know he's been shot in the arse with a rainbow. It's good fun, and the perfect on-the-road read.

[Xanthi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was surprised by how funny this book was but when I thought about it, I shouldn't have been surprised at all. After all, this is the man who wrote and sung "10 Wheels For Jesus", which is just plain hilarious.
When I was in my late teens or early twenties , I tagged along to see the Beasts of Bourbon with my oldest sister and her husband. It was the most exciting, energetic, and scary gig I ever attended. Hell, I noticed an ambulance out front of the venue as I arrived. It was there on standby for the gig. The last song was 'Hard For You' - a favourite of mine and the audience. As Tex begun singing, his mic kept cutting in and out. He was getting angry, the audience was getting angry and you could feel the shambolic tension. The equipment was quickly sorted out and the show went on.
I left feeling exhilarated. And it was with this memory locked into my head that I started reading this book.
It very much focused on his musical exploits which is understandable because it was so varied. He was involved in way more bands and collaborated with a lot more people than what I was aware of. Talk on drugs was touched upon here and there, his romantic relationships, and famous people he had met. None came across as gratuitous boasting, name dropping or inflated drama.
I would have liked more on his childhood and family life.
I guess my 3 stars as opposed to four might be due to the fact that I didn't really follow his career to much beyond The Cruel Sea ( who I also saw live). I suspect more dedicated fans will enjoy this book more.

[R · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was EXCELLENT. Did you like the Beasts of Bourbon? The Cruel Sea? ANYTHING that Tex has done in the past 35 odd years? Then this book is for you! This isn't gossip - tho there's some. This isn't dumping on people - he rarely names names. It's a really good rollicking Aussie rock'N'roll adventure written by an intelligent erudite raconteur.

It actually opens with a gig I was at which made me giggle. It finally tells the truth about that after ARIAS party brawl. And he talks about his extended family with truth and honour and love. I personally want to know more about the donkeys.

Do yourselves a favour.

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

This an entertaining book about one of Australia's iconic (is it too soon to call Tex iconic?) singers. However, a couple of little things annoyed me: many of the chapters, which are generally quite short, came across as, "What shall I write about? I know, how about X?" and then four pages later you're on to a different subject. These are fine as snapshots but I would've liked more details, especially around the Beasts of Bourbon (but that band would probably require a separate book).

The other thing was the style of some sentences could've been tidied up, for example "...as much as we were, and are, great friends, we have always been, and still are, rivals." It's awkward and distracting and is something the editor should've picked up.

Other than those minor quibbles, I recommend this book for any fan of Tex's bands or solo work.

[J.A. Hazel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This charmingly told biography is one for lovers of alternative music and, in particular, sardonically delivered swamp rock. Yep, that’s all you Beasts of Bourbon fans out there. And if you happen to dig the Cramps, Iggy and the Stooges etc. it’s probably got something for you, too, I reckon.

Tex’s engaging, relatable and truly funny voice made me whip through this in a couple of days. It’s kind of like having him right there on your porch, drinking beer and spinning yarns while the sun goes down. The experience was very chilling-out-at-a-BBQ-with-a-mate vibe. Quite an entertaining mate, mind.

It gave a captivating insight into a creative life and an artist reflecting on his rather large and varied body of work as evidenced by the excellent Top Ten List of his own albums made with various bands and ranked by ‘Perko’ himself. The dangerously irresistible Beasts’ Axeman’s Jazz sitting in top position gets a two thumbs up from me. If I had more thumbs available they’d all be raised in praise of the playlist provided at the back of the book, chock-filled with awesome songs.

The tell-all sex and drugs quota was fairly low in this book, but that’s probably for the best. That said, the insight into the R ‘n’ R life, compulsory debaucheries and creative processes were abundant and fascinating, grade-A fun. Hard to believe how quickly some of these incredible albums were laid down.

I highly recommend this to anyone with an interest in alternative music, especially Australian circa 1980’s to 1990’s and to those souls fortunate enough to have been terrified and thrilled at Beasts of Bourbon / Cruel Sea shows at some point in their lives.

[Peta · Rating 3 out of 5]

OH Tex, you crazy rock god. Easy read with some interesting insights into his irreverent personality. Couple of laugh out loud anecdotes. Got to admire someone who has survived the crazy world of rock and still enjoying what he does. Seems to be a good collaborator and pretty decent bloke too :)

[Steve lovell · Rating 4 out of 5]

They fronted two of my favourite Aussie bands. They are two legendary outfits – even if, with one in particular, the legend outweighs the legacy. Their bands are not top rung – never came within close proximity to the international sales of, say, AC/DC, INXS, Little River Band, Crowded House and certainly never had the following of Cold Chisel or the Oils. They weren't perhaps even second tier, but the Go-Betweens and the Cruel Sea are loved by thousands and their respective auras only enhance as the decades pass. And, as to be expected, what you see on stage is what you get reflected in the style of the two books. 'Grant and Me' is written by the bombastic, eccentric and cross-dressing co-lead of the band Brisbane City Council, appropriately, named a bridge after. Call it somewhat high-brow if you will. Tex Perkins – only his mum calls him Greg - is the other author, assisted by acclaimed journalist Stuart Coupe. He gets his story sufficiently down there and dirty. Call it low brow.

Forster makes the Go-Betweens sound greater than the sum of the whole. In their first incarnation they were, at best, just staying one step ahead of struggle-town, even succumbing to the enormity of the task on occasions. They never really made it then – just had glimpses of what could be if they could hold their shit together. They rarely did for an extended period. They were the real deal, but the cards they were dealt always weren't quite the full hand. Commercial success, with the exception of only one certifiable hit ('The Streets of Your Town') didn't really come their way then. The hard graft of paying their dues eventually caught up with them as, in Fleetwood Mac style, relationships tore the group asunder in the end.

Along with that other unique outfit, the Saints, the Go-Betweens were a product of Joh's Brisbane – Hicksville in other words. Both bands attempted to take their music to the world with shambolic optimism, only to return to Oz with their tail between their legs. Both collapsed in the after-story. Forster's band did reform around the turn of the millennium, but things were still strained between the personnel, even if their approach was far more professional. They had some success and the future again seemed full of potential, but all that was snuffed out with Grant McClennan's untimely passing in 2006. Forster struggles on as a solo act and wit about town, still, no doubt, a legend in his own lunchbox. I like the man and I buy his quality albums, but for all the gilding of the lily, the story of that terrific band is one of what might have been. But still their songs were quite sublime – and such treasures as 'Cattle and Cane', 'Lee Remick' (Forster meets her), 'Quiet Heart' and my favourite, 'Dive For Your Memory' are timeless.

And, in a lovely segue, Tex Perkins writes of seeing Forster and his mates performing at the Exchange Hotel, Fortitude Valley when he was a young buck, back in '81. Tex is pure rock'n'roll; perhaps our answer to Keith Richards. He's had a life, but has never aspired to the glory, unlike Forster – or that's how he would have us believe it. He is perhaps better known these days for presenting an authentic Johnny Cash tribute to the punters all around Oz. But he is, as well as was, so much more. I've seen his impersonation. It's great and he is touring the land again as I write with it. Tex, living up to his name, has never hid his love of country music, despite fronting some of the best pub-rock bands Australia has produced. He writes candidly of his days with Tex, Don and Charlie, the Dark Horses, the Beasts of Bourbon (a new album on the way) and the one that I'm enamoured of, the Cruel Sea. We even had his take on the supposed piss-take that was the Ladyboyz.

My entry into the joys of Tex came in reverse fashion – with the Cash show, then a duet he did on RocKwiz with Clare Bowditch, 'Fairytale of New York', that made me sit up and take notice. Then I discovered the Cruel Sea and I was sold on him. As you would expect, after years in the industry, Perkins tells some great yarns, especially about close encounters with rock royalty that didn't quite go to plan - Mick J, PJ Proby, Kurt Cobain etc. Tex is as much about the swagger as anything else and that is the way in which this very readable tome is composed.

Along with Forster, he has earnt his place in the local rock pantheon, but unlike the former, I bet he couldn't really give a dam – or so he would have us believe.

And as to which I relished the most? Well, Tex wins hands down. Telling it how it was will always win hands down.

[Mick · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Wild Ride!!!

Brought back some awesome memories from some shows down in Warrnambool and Melbourne!!!

Rock on TP!!!

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tex Perkins is a complex man. There, I said it. Described once as a "preening rock god" by Triple J, Tex has never been anything but authentic. This autobiography-cum-discography is a fascinating insight into a storied musical and entertainment career. It provides context to the music that he has made, as well as the relationships that he had and has. Starting in early life to trace his musical influences, the book works its way through Perkin's career with the multitude of bands and locales that he has been a part of, and along the way, provides glimpses and insights into the life of a musician starting off and then succeeding in his career. All with a very great helping of humility and honesty and truth. I thoroughly enjoyed this easy read: it connected to a lot of the music that I grew into as a went from teenager to young adult, and helps me immensely in understanding where the music of The Beasts of Bourbon and The Cruel Sea came from.

[Anna Bucci · Rating 5 out of 5]

What can I say about Tex that hasn't already been said before? Not much. So many bands and gigs and so much greatness in his work. Also, Stuart Coupe, his co writer. As a teenager in the 80's, I was an avid Dolly magazine reader and I enjoyed Stuart's music writing even then, so I knew this book would be fantastic and I was not disappointed! Tex's many fans will enjoy his memories and musings and the many laugh out loud reminiscences. Great read!

[Tiffany Barton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love a good rock n roll memoir and this one really floated my boat. It’s not deep but it’s funny and Tex is a natural born story teller. I love his self deprecating humour and warts and all honesty. Much like attending one of his concerts, his memoir is a wild ride and hugely entertaining.

[Malcolm Frawley · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of my favourite gigs was seeing The Cruel Sea in 1999 @ The Metro in Sydney. The stage, & the equipment, was draped in white which meant the entire set could change colour throughout the concert simply by pouring different coloured lights onto it. So simple, but so effective. The music, & the performance, lived up to the visual feast. The Cruel Sea played a significant role in the success of Tex Perkins, but only a small role in his working life. He was persuaded to write this memoir by editor Stuart Coupe & the sizable advance offered by the publisher. But it gives no indication of being written for the money. I have read many rock music auto-biogs & memoirs &, fortunately, this leans towards Elvis Costello's Unfaithful Music & away from Graham Nash's Wild Tales & John Lydon's Anger Is An Energy. Like Elvis C, Perkins has a high level of self-awareness & doesn't have to tell us how good he is at what he does - his success speaks for itself. Unlike Graham N & John L, he doesn't think he is the most gifted singer, composer, lover, husband, father, friend, & human being ever to grace the planet. He came from humble beginnings & appears to have retained his humility, even when The Cruel Sea was making him one of the most successful musicians in the country. He even tells us how much money he made from his most successful band, without boasting; not because he wasted it all on hookers & blow, but because it enabled him to buy his family their first home. Part wild man of rock & part regular dad he comes across as someone aware of his many faults but glad that he found a world that would respond to his talents. I was happy to spend time reading about his life & his work & even re-visited my Cruel Sea CDs while I was doing it. Highly recommended to rock music fans.

[Jo Dugan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wouldn't call myself a hard core Tex Perkins fan, but growing up in the 90's has seen me appreciate his music on some level.

This book enlightened me to the fact Tex had collaborated with so many different artists over the years and has a unique approach to making and delivering music, in its many forms, to anyone willing to listen. He certainly likes to take the piss and at times I questioned why he would choose to deliberately record something that is unlistenable (the covers album in particular). To me this was a wasted opportunity, but hey....that's Tex I guess. Love him, like him, hate him, he is what he is and makes no apologies for it.

This was an enjoyable read, one that I breezed through in a couple of days. It contained all the stuff one likes to hear in a rock autobiography; name dropping, drug stories, personal information without feeling boring, pretentious or overdone. Actually, Kim Gordon should have had a chat to Tex before she wrote her book, then maybe she would have produced something remotely interesting.

A really enjoyable read.

[Elso · Rating 5 out of 5]

TEX - by TEX Perkins
I knew very little about Tex Perkins prior to reading this bio. For me Tex Perkins was the front man for the Cruel Sea and that was probably it.
TEX amazing longevity with over three decades of playing diverse styles of music with extraordinary & unique characters / musicians.
Brilliant / Collaborative genius !
Having seen TEX out front in the Cruel Sea just awesome stage presence. Just recently caught the live gig of The Beasts they were awesome. Kim Salmon brilliant. There's punk, rock, jazz, psychobilly, country in there. It's a strangely eclectic thing to put across. I can't explain it. What a great night. Intimidation from the big man no just admiration !Captivating performance by a word phrasing specialist.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

A straight, simple assessment of himself and music. It has an undercurrent of humour, which makes the book bubble along in a very pleasant way. Some good insights into the Australian music scene in the 80's and 90's and what things were like without the internet and before "alternative" was fully absorbed into the mainstream.

The playlist of some of Tex's favourite songs in the back is excellent and varied. I made and shared an Apple Music playlist which you can access if you like. https://itunes.apple.com/au/playlist/...

[Peter Greenfield]

I was a child of the 80's, to be precise I started the 80's as a child and finished it as an adult. The Cruel Sea were a big hit in my time, specifically with "One Summer" which echoed our love of the Australian beach scene. Tex was there, but he mainly flew under the radar. It was great to look at the comical life that he had, this book is really a bit of fun that can be a bit candid at times. A must read if you remember those days, I did but many didn't.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always a fan of Tex, Don & Charlie along with Beasts and Cruel Sea, this entertaining, funny, self-deprecating also opened my eyes to so much more of Tex's work (e.g. Dark Horses) which I'm now listening through and thoroughly enjoying.

Couldn't put this book down. As a Big Day Out era attendee in the early '90s before it shifted location, it brought back memories of that era of live music in Sydney. A great read.

[Jimmy Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bloody good read. Hilarious. Great stories. Well paced. No holds barred, well he probably holds back on how much of a prick he is but i'll give him poetic licence on that. Highly recommend as a rock bio and i only have a fleeting interest in his music

[Katy F · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very entertaining and at times hilarious book that has quite a pretty good fast pace. Definitely a must read for all music lovers.

[Teera · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was fun!!

[Brad Lambert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent coverage of a moderately interesting character. Beautifully written, quite like a series of yarns

[Rimona Burke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Surprisingly good

Loved it. Here’s another 20 words so amazon will post my review. Almost there... done it.. ok a couple more.. and post!

[Simon Sweetman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyable romp through some war-stories, with great reminders of some good (and some not-so-great) music from a man with many bands. Great snapshots here. A real page-turner too.

[Samuel Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a lot of fun

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beasts of Bourbon with support act You am I. Mansfield Tavern 1993. Musical baptism of fire.

[Adrian · Rating 2 out of 5]

Tex is great frontman but this memoir displays very little originality or insight. Basically a marketing exercise.

[V Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Not the expected sex, drugs and rock n roll. Worth reading

[Katherine Kleimenhagen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I quite liked this!

[Addy Ringwald · Rating 5 out of 5]

*4.5*