What do you think?
Rate this book
Let Us Prey: The Plague of Narcissist Pastors and What We Can Do About It
Jesus warned of wolves carefully disguised as shepherds who would come into the local church as pastors. It is the perfect disguise from which to devour the flock one lamb at a time. The authors were the first to study this phenomenon in North America and discover how serious the problem is. What they uncovered is shocking. The enemy has infiltrated the North American church. In this study of a large Canadian denomination, just under one in three pastors met the diagnostic criteria of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This is one of the most destructive and least treatable of all mental disorders, but is often well hidden behind layers of ""sacred"" deception. Some are charismatic while others are quiet and even awkward, but they share the same needs for power, control, praise, and public recognition. They are also rigid, unbending, never wrong, demanding, and full of hidden rage, leaving the people working for them in demoralized fear. They see you as inferior and God as a rival, while the worst see themselves as God. If they see you as a threat, they will do everything possible to destroy you spiritually and emotionally. Is your pastor one of them? ""Armed with research data and real-life examples, Puls and Ball provide an absorbing and alarming analysis of Christian clergy who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, describing the toll these 'wolves in sheep's clothing' wreak upon their congregations and co-workers. A must-read for clergy and those who supervise and support them."" --Kevin Livingston, Associate Professor of Pastoral Ministry, Tyndale Seminary, Toronto ""Ball and Pulls do an amazing job of bringing a sensitive issue to the light. Filled with powerful stories, up-to-date research, and godly counsel, Let Us Prey is a great resource that brings wisdom, guidance, and healing to Christian leaders and church communities."" --Tim Clinton, President, American Association of Christian Counselors ""Let Us Prey contains ground-breaking research regarding the plague of narcissism in the church. It also provides practical direction for the diagnosis, intervention, and mitigation of narcissism in our pastorate and our congregations. A must-read . . ."" --Michael Patterson, PhD, LMHC, NCC, BCPCC, Chair, Department of Behavioral Science, Corban University ""Painstakingly researched and terrifyingly realistic, this book shocks us into facing up to the monsters within the body of Christ who prey on the sheep rather than pray for them. Read it and equip yourself to identify and confront these predators with firmness and faith."" --David Murray, Pastor, Grand Rapids Free Reformed Church; Professor of Practical Theology, Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary Darrell Puls is a professional conflict interventionist with forty years of experience, and founder of Peacebridge Ministries, a Christian nonprofit that works directly with faith communities experiencing internal conflict. He is the author of The Road Home: A Guided Journey to Church Forgiveness and Reconciliation (2013). R. Glenn Ball is an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church in Canada, where he has served for more than thirty years in parish ministry and as a specialist working with distressed churches.
- GenresNonfiction
228 pages, Paperback
Published June 15, 2017
19 people are currently reading
97 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
September 3, 2018
I cannot overstate how necessary this book is. I honestly don't think there's a person in Christian ministry who wouldn't benefit from this book, especially anyone who's asked to be on a pastoral search committee. And for the many, many people who've been preyed upon by narcissistic pastors, this book will be a lifeline telling them they weren't crazy, what they experienced was real, and they are not weak or uncharitable for having gotten hurt or for removing themselves from a terrible situation. At times the scope of the book becomes unwieldy, as denominations operate so differently that some suggestions can't be readily/broadly applied. But overall the research here is responsibly and transparently done, and the authors present their findings urgently and compellingly.
August 13, 2019
4.5–5 stars.
Devastating, painful, and haunting. Worth the read just for the stories of what people have experienced, especially chapter one.
“We are convinced that everyone in a church leadership position needs a heightened awareness of the problem, its scope, and its consequences. This includes seminary professors, board members, staff, therapists, and everyone else who works directly with pastors, or is a member of a church.” (Page 17)
A much-needed read for awareness, healing, and prevention.
Interview with one of the authors here: http://julieroys.com/podcast/how-to-s...
Related to the subject of the book, Diane Langberg’s address on narcissistic pastors (“Narcissism and the Systems It Breeds”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BU3p.... Which is also chapter 17, under the same title, in “Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores”: https://www.amazon.com/Suffering-Hear...
Devastating, painful, and haunting. Worth the read just for the stories of what people have experienced, especially chapter one.
“We are convinced that everyone in a church leadership position needs a heightened awareness of the problem, its scope, and its consequences. This includes seminary professors, board members, staff, therapists, and everyone else who works directly with pastors, or is a member of a church.” (Page 17)
A much-needed read for awareness, healing, and prevention.
Interview with one of the authors here: http://julieroys.com/podcast/how-to-s...
Related to the subject of the book, Diane Langberg’s address on narcissistic pastors (“Narcissism and the Systems It Breeds”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BU3p.... Which is also chapter 17, under the same title, in “Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores”: https://www.amazon.com/Suffering-Hear...
Read
May 1, 2021Okay so I read the study the book was based off of, does that count?
Really interesting findings. Anecdotally I would agree that religious systems (particularly our current evangelical system) inadvertently breeds a culture where narcissists rise to the top.
A sobering fact worth reflecting on.
Really interesting findings. Anecdotally I would agree that religious systems (particularly our current evangelical system) inadvertently breeds a culture where narcissists rise to the top.
A sobering fact worth reflecting on.
July 23, 2020
This book was invaluable to me as a church board member when it became apparent that the new pastor we had recruited had serious issues. Over a period of 20 months a series of behaviours came to light which were more and more evidenced as what we learned to be gaslighting, triangulation, projection, blaming and victim playing as well as outrigth deceipt amongst other methods of physiological and spiritual abuse. It was both fascinating and challenging at the same time. as more and more stories emerged of what he was doing. This books helped unravel the situation and gave some guidane although ultimately he resigned after a serious complaint was received. The recruitment section wil lcertainly help in the future, but that's a story for another time.
May 29, 2019
Sobering, very worth the read
Maybe we think we are discerning when it comes to calling pastors for church leadership, but this book challenges the reader to take another careful, prayerful look. Even if we have some systems in place for discovering God's next person for pastor, chances are we could be subject to those whonwant to use the church for personal gain. As a denominational leader, I found the material very helpful in our ongoing quest to serve our churches in the search process. It would be an important tool for those who are a part of the serious work discerning who God is calling as the next pastoral leader, whether a local church or a deniminational leader.
Maybe we think we are discerning when it comes to calling pastors for church leadership, but this book challenges the reader to take another careful, prayerful look. Even if we have some systems in place for discovering God's next person for pastor, chances are we could be subject to those whonwant to use the church for personal gain. As a denominational leader, I found the material very helpful in our ongoing quest to serve our churches in the search process. It would be an important tool for those who are a part of the serious work discerning who God is calling as the next pastoral leader, whether a local church or a deniminational leader.
March 29, 2019
This book came from research the author did on the prevalence of narcissism in positions of Christian leadership. With the approval of his denomination, he sent a questionnaire to all active and retired pastors in Canada in his denomination. Embedded in the survey were the questions for a Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD) survey used by psychiatrists. The results: 30% of pastors in the denomination fell into the range of NPD (!!).
This is a good companion to Jim Wilder's "The Pandora Problem," although the authors of the two books disagree about whether Narcissism is curable or not.
This is a good companion to Jim Wilder's "The Pandora Problem," although the authors of the two books disagree about whether Narcissism is curable or not.
February 16, 2019
Practical and applicable insights shared on a growing concern in today’s church culture. The author’s closing chapters provided guidance on how to screen and avoid hiring a pastor with NPD - helpful! A very relevant and worthwhile read.
January 28, 2020
Very detailed
I didn't read all of it. I found that he repeated his info about narcissistic people a lot. Because this is written for church leadership, I decided to speed read it. Very detailed, lots of help.
I didn't read all of it. I found that he repeated his info about narcissistic people a lot. Because this is written for church leadership, I decided to speed read it. Very detailed, lots of help.
March 7, 2019
This book has helpful information, but as you might guess from reading the description, it’s easy to get the idea that narcissistic pastors are waiting behind every tree to trap and ensnare the church. The study the authors conducted seems to have just been a survey, and it would seem wise to repeat the survey in other populations before generalizing so widely. I found the information helpful, but would love to see this book updated with replicated statistics and a better content flow.
May 18, 2019
"Hi. My name is Mike, and I'm a recovering narcissistic!" That's how I felt while reading this 228 page paperback, "Let Us Prey: The Plague of Narcissist Pastors and What We Can Do About It" penned by authors R. Glenn Ball, ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church in Canada, and Darrell Puls, founder of Peacebridge Ministries. This little book is ideal for pastors, pastoral candidates, churches, and pastor search committees; but it is especially written for anyone who has been burned and battered by a narcissistic spiritual leader!
The first five chapters of "Let Us Prey" unpacks and deciphers narcissism in ecclesiastical leaders for the purpose of helping the reader recognize what she or he has been through. The authors draw from Ovid's description of Narcissus, and point out that what "Ovid wrote well describes the modern narcissist: he is in love with the image of himself, a shimmering yet fragile twin he projects that has no substance and is ever beyond his grasp; it is thus impossible to love for it has no matter and never becomes real" (20). To protect that unreachable image, there is an intense desire to shape and control a congregation around himself. But also the narcissistic pastor lacks genuine empathy: they cannot even begin to see things - doubts, worries, suffering, etc. - through another person's eyes. They only see your pain and grief as an opportunity "to fill their needs" (40). Along with the desire to control and lack of empathy, comes strident rules of behavior, mostly for others: "the narcissist often has a rigid moral code and is quick to condemn all who do not agree, but it is a brittle, shame-based rigidity with which he personally struggles as he feels the urges deep within that he prohibits and condemns in himself and others" (43), and "As others have noted, religious narcissists tend to be puritanical, which finds an outlet in tightly controlled and very private relationships with other adults" (101). There are more traits listed (entitlement, the lust for winning, his way or the highway, etc.) and packaged with numerous gut-wrenching-true-life tales. I found myself cringing and asking for God's mercy and help through large sections of these pages!
Chapters six, seven and eight work through the authors' survey of one major Canadian denomination. I am not a statistician, so I have no way to gauge if their survey and figures are legitimate. But if their numbers are even mostly correct, then about one in three pastors are implicitly or explicitly predators. And the authors go on to show how some congregations can become complicit. Though I don't have hard numbers outside of this book, I have seen what the authors describe with several pastors and a few parishes.
The final four chapters are aids in recovering from predatory parsons. These chapters tackle forgiveness and prevention. Ball and Puls carefully walk parishioners through the important practice of recognizing their own reactive faults in dealing with narcissistic ministers: "We must turn from what others have done to us to what we have done to others, whether in thought, word, or deed. In a strange turnaround from common sense, seeing and confessing our own wrongdoing frees us from its grip...The most difficult element in the entire process is repenting from
victimhood by confronting the truth of my own sin" (160). Further, the authors give pastoral search committees a passel of questions to ask a ministerial candidate, and some valuable explanations that will help to weed out any predators (183-4).
Though there was an item or two I wasn't happy with (their explanation of forgiveness, for example), and I had questions about their survey, in the end I found "Let Us Prey" a potent dossier for healing and health in congregations; and as a valuable tool for reflective self-care for pastors. Fellow pastors, this book is likely to bring you to your knees before God (a good place to be), and if it doesn't then it's possible you may be more part of the disease than the cure. I am happily recommending the book.
My thanks to Wipf and Stock publishers for sending me an electronic version of the book at my request. And my thanks that the publisher put not stipulations on my review. Everything written herein is freely stated.
The first five chapters of "Let Us Prey" unpacks and deciphers narcissism in ecclesiastical leaders for the purpose of helping the reader recognize what she or he has been through. The authors draw from Ovid's description of Narcissus, and point out that what "Ovid wrote well describes the modern narcissist: he is in love with the image of himself, a shimmering yet fragile twin he projects that has no substance and is ever beyond his grasp; it is thus impossible to love for it has no matter and never becomes real" (20). To protect that unreachable image, there is an intense desire to shape and control a congregation around himself. But also the narcissistic pastor lacks genuine empathy: they cannot even begin to see things - doubts, worries, suffering, etc. - through another person's eyes. They only see your pain and grief as an opportunity "to fill their needs" (40). Along with the desire to control and lack of empathy, comes strident rules of behavior, mostly for others: "the narcissist often has a rigid moral code and is quick to condemn all who do not agree, but it is a brittle, shame-based rigidity with which he personally struggles as he feels the urges deep within that he prohibits and condemns in himself and others" (43), and "As others have noted, religious narcissists tend to be puritanical, which finds an outlet in tightly controlled and very private relationships with other adults" (101). There are more traits listed (entitlement, the lust for winning, his way or the highway, etc.) and packaged with numerous gut-wrenching-true-life tales. I found myself cringing and asking for God's mercy and help through large sections of these pages!
Chapters six, seven and eight work through the authors' survey of one major Canadian denomination. I am not a statistician, so I have no way to gauge if their survey and figures are legitimate. But if their numbers are even mostly correct, then about one in three pastors are implicitly or explicitly predators. And the authors go on to show how some congregations can become complicit. Though I don't have hard numbers outside of this book, I have seen what the authors describe with several pastors and a few parishes.
The final four chapters are aids in recovering from predatory parsons. These chapters tackle forgiveness and prevention. Ball and Puls carefully walk parishioners through the important practice of recognizing their own reactive faults in dealing with narcissistic ministers: "We must turn from what others have done to us to what we have done to others, whether in thought, word, or deed. In a strange turnaround from common sense, seeing and confessing our own wrongdoing frees us from its grip...The most difficult element in the entire process is repenting from
victimhood by confronting the truth of my own sin" (160). Further, the authors give pastoral search committees a passel of questions to ask a ministerial candidate, and some valuable explanations that will help to weed out any predators (183-4).
Though there was an item or two I wasn't happy with (their explanation of forgiveness, for example), and I had questions about their survey, in the end I found "Let Us Prey" a potent dossier for healing and health in congregations; and as a valuable tool for reflective self-care for pastors. Fellow pastors, this book is likely to bring you to your knees before God (a good place to be), and if it doesn't then it's possible you may be more part of the disease than the cure. I am happily recommending the book.
My thanks to Wipf and Stock publishers for sending me an electronic version of the book at my request. And my thanks that the publisher put not stipulations on my review. Everything written herein is freely stated.
December 24, 2018
Important book for pastors and church leaders. The practical chapters at the end were most helpful.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews