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Love, Honor, and Virtue
Gaining a Biblical Attitude Toward Sexuality
The Battlefield Is Different Than We Remember ….
The changes in technology and culture have put an entirely new face on the fight for moral purity. Temptation is nothing new, but where our generation had to avoid traps, our children are being actively hunted. Our sons are being exposed and ensnared by things that didn’t exist when they were born, and the conversations we had at 15 and 16 are necessary for 10 and 11 … and earlier … today.
If they want to walk in integrity, they have a fight on their hands.
A book written to and for teens and twenty-something guys. It’s short, concise, and very direct. It gives a Biblical perspective to help:
Understand God’s design, from biology to morality
Navigate the cultural minefield
Build a foundation for Christ-honoring relationships
Find hope for recovery if they’ve stumbled
The Battlefield Is Different Than We Remember ….
The changes in technology and culture have put an entirely new face on the fight for moral purity. Temptation is nothing new, but where our generation had to avoid traps, our children are being actively hunted. Our sons are being exposed and ensnared by things that didn’t exist when they were born, and the conversations we had at 15 and 16 are necessary for 10 and 11 … and earlier … today.
If they want to walk in integrity, they have a fight on their hands.
A book written to and for teens and twenty-something guys. It’s short, concise, and very direct. It gives a Biblical perspective to help:
Understand God’s design, from biology to morality
Navigate the cultural minefield
Build a foundation for Christ-honoring relationships
Find hope for recovery if they’ve stumbled
96 pages, Paperback
Published February 1, 2017
2 people are currently reading
65 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
August 10, 2017
Hal and Melanie Young’s most recent book, “Love, Honor, and Virtue” is a great primer on puberty and purity for parents and sons to use together.
We have five sons, half of whom are now legal adults. In all honesty, I expected to navigate the muddy waters of adolescence with a little more clarity than I have.Instead, I often punted the ball to my husband who is a bit more direct, rather than addressing things head-on myself.
I used to joke that the best way to teach about puberty and reproduction is through mom being pregnant. And while that isn’t the reason WHY we had child #5, it sure was convenient that I was pregnant when the older boys were 12yo – 16yo. It was easy to talk about reproduction, hormones, and birth while living through it. But let’s be honest — we can’t all keep having babies just to make talking about puberty and reproduction easier.
“Love, Honor, and Virtue” would have been a welcome resource to have when our older boys were first entering adolescence. While there are topics in the book which I wish didn’t need to be addressed in early adolescence (sexting, porn, masturbation), they do need to be brought up at a younger rather than older age. This book would be handy to open the conversation with them about these more challenging issues.
Written directly to the young teens themselves, the book gives a good overview of the biology of puberty and reproduction. The information is specific and accurate. It’s just a primer, though, and eventually I’d want to use biology textbooks and further health resources to for more detail. The biology section addresses some areas especially well, including a summary of the birth process aimed at future fathers and the impact of hormones on male emotions.
Our culture assumes hormones will impact young women’s emotions, and ignore that those become cyclically predictable and therefore somewhat easier to handle. I find that young men are surprised at how hormonal changes lead to mood changes — and at how confusing it can be when these emotion swings seem to come out of nowhere. (This was one of our topics of conversation as we drove to church just yesterday!)
As I expected, this book communicates a Biblical sexual ethic clearly. I appreciated the discussion on how we tend rationalize our sin, including sexual sin. Some materials in the Christian market err either in making light of sexual sin, or presenting it in doom and gloom morass that will ensnare everyone. The Youngs are frank about sexual temptation and the seriousness of sexual sin, without presenting fighting sin as a hopeless cause. In addition to Scriptural encouragement, they address some very practical ways to fight temptation, as well as some of the biological factors (dopamine!) which make it harder to resist temptation.
What I didn’t expect was the depths of discussion on boy/girl relationships — friendships as well as relationships leading to marriage. I think we’ve learned over the past few decades that it is not healthy to cling closely to idealistic relational models(courtship! betrothal! dating!) I found that the Youngs provided young men with very helpful insights into relationships, without being prescriptive. Rather than a “don’t do this” list of rules, they offered counsel on practical ways to build good friendships with young women which may (or may not) lead to marriage.
In discussing the book with one of my sons, I was surprised at the area where he and I disagreed. I liked the rule of thumb, “Are you finding your desire rising in a situation or activity? Then it’s time to back down. . .” (page 42.) That seemed sensible to me, especially as a mom, and remembering my own desires. My son, on the other hand, didn’t like that — he expressed wanting more “rules” of what to do and not to do. Similarly, I liked the idea that young men treat women in their lives as mothers or sisters — another son didn’t. While he wants to respect a girlfriend like a sister, he felt weird considering a girl he likes as a “sister or mother.”
A few areas I would approach differently — yet I even appreciate areas in which I disagree with the book, as it opens the doors for conversation in our family. Really, though, what mom wants to talk about masturbation with boys? That’s a conversation I leave for my husband.
As a holistic introduction to puberty — biological, spiritual, social — I highly recommend “Love, Honor, and Virtue” for parents and young teen boys.
When I saw that the Young’s were working on this book, I (selfishly!) requested a review copy. The above is my personal opinion.
Full review:
http://tulipgirl.com/review-love-hono...
We have five sons, half of whom are now legal adults. In all honesty, I expected to navigate the muddy waters of adolescence with a little more clarity than I have.Instead, I often punted the ball to my husband who is a bit more direct, rather than addressing things head-on myself.
I used to joke that the best way to teach about puberty and reproduction is through mom being pregnant. And while that isn’t the reason WHY we had child #5, it sure was convenient that I was pregnant when the older boys were 12yo – 16yo. It was easy to talk about reproduction, hormones, and birth while living through it. But let’s be honest — we can’t all keep having babies just to make talking about puberty and reproduction easier.
“Love, Honor, and Virtue” would have been a welcome resource to have when our older boys were first entering adolescence. While there are topics in the book which I wish didn’t need to be addressed in early adolescence (sexting, porn, masturbation), they do need to be brought up at a younger rather than older age. This book would be handy to open the conversation with them about these more challenging issues.
Written directly to the young teens themselves, the book gives a good overview of the biology of puberty and reproduction. The information is specific and accurate. It’s just a primer, though, and eventually I’d want to use biology textbooks and further health resources to for more detail. The biology section addresses some areas especially well, including a summary of the birth process aimed at future fathers and the impact of hormones on male emotions.
Our culture assumes hormones will impact young women’s emotions, and ignore that those become cyclically predictable and therefore somewhat easier to handle. I find that young men are surprised at how hormonal changes lead to mood changes — and at how confusing it can be when these emotion swings seem to come out of nowhere. (This was one of our topics of conversation as we drove to church just yesterday!)
As I expected, this book communicates a Biblical sexual ethic clearly. I appreciated the discussion on how we tend rationalize our sin, including sexual sin. Some materials in the Christian market err either in making light of sexual sin, or presenting it in doom and gloom morass that will ensnare everyone. The Youngs are frank about sexual temptation and the seriousness of sexual sin, without presenting fighting sin as a hopeless cause. In addition to Scriptural encouragement, they address some very practical ways to fight temptation, as well as some of the biological factors (dopamine!) which make it harder to resist temptation.
What I didn’t expect was the depths of discussion on boy/girl relationships — friendships as well as relationships leading to marriage. I think we’ve learned over the past few decades that it is not healthy to cling closely to idealistic relational models(courtship! betrothal! dating!) I found that the Youngs provided young men with very helpful insights into relationships, without being prescriptive. Rather than a “don’t do this” list of rules, they offered counsel on practical ways to build good friendships with young women which may (or may not) lead to marriage.
In discussing the book with one of my sons, I was surprised at the area where he and I disagreed. I liked the rule of thumb, “Are you finding your desire rising in a situation or activity? Then it’s time to back down. . .” (page 42.) That seemed sensible to me, especially as a mom, and remembering my own desires. My son, on the other hand, didn’t like that — he expressed wanting more “rules” of what to do and not to do. Similarly, I liked the idea that young men treat women in their lives as mothers or sisters — another son didn’t. While he wants to respect a girlfriend like a sister, he felt weird considering a girl he likes as a “sister or mother.”
A few areas I would approach differently — yet I even appreciate areas in which I disagree with the book, as it opens the doors for conversation in our family. Really, though, what mom wants to talk about masturbation with boys? That’s a conversation I leave for my husband.
As a holistic introduction to puberty — biological, spiritual, social — I highly recommend “Love, Honor, and Virtue” for parents and young teen boys.
When I saw that the Young’s were working on this book, I (selfishly!) requested a review copy. The above is my personal opinion.
Full review:
http://tulipgirl.com/review-love-hono...
May 12, 2025
This is an excellent handbook for Christian young men, dealing with sexual purity, how to approach marriage, and other related topics. I really appreciate the candor of the authors as well as their emphasis on grace - both of which seem so hard to find paired with a solid, Biblical viewpoint. This book is practical and down to earth (like ideas of things to do when temptation hits), while also showing the joys of following God’s way and giving young men high goals to aim for. I look forward to reading it with my 12yo (it’s the type of book I wouldn’t just hand to someone his age; discussion will be needed), and eventually with my younger son as well.
August 31, 2019
Helpful and full of grace.
2019 - A book targeted at the opposite gender
2019 - A book targeted at the opposite gender
December 4, 2018
Love, Honor, and Virtue: Gaining or Regaining a Biblical Attitude Toward Sexuality by Hal and Melanie Young is such an easy read. I was very happy to be given the opportunity to review this book from Great Waters Press written "to the young men on the battlefield." This book provides the assistance families may need in raising their sons.
I like that Love, Honor, and Virtue is a tool for families; not the 'answer.' Even after reading through it a teen should still talk with his parents about its topics or other questions that may arise from reading the book.
The following are some of the chapters and topics:
- Sex Was God's Idea with a discussion of the idea that God designed us as male or female
- "The Talk" should be more than just sex education and should happen on more than one occurrence within a Biblical context.
- Hook-ups, gender-bending, [and] porn are discussed
- Presentation of a five-point defense for young men to remain pure
I enjoyed the organization of the book – each chapter has subheadings and a summary to help you navigate your way through the text, writing style, inclusion of references via footnotes, space for notes, and the way the book went over how dangerous sexting is (this topic scares me because a teen could just receive a sexting message and they could be charged with child pornography).
I have a few reservations – if someone told me to sing a hymn to distract me from temptation I might laugh. Using music in the manner suggesting in the chapter How Can a Young Man Keep His Way Pure? is not something that would work for me. I am not sure if it would work for our teen either.
I also had some difficulty with the chapter on friendship and moving beyond it. I understand the importance of not sending mixed messages to friends but I think a little too much emphasis is placed on the idea that a young man or young woman may say or do something that might give the wrong impression.
Even with my reservations, I would still recommend this book to parents looking for a Christian viewpoint on raising their sons.
I like that Love, Honor, and Virtue is a tool for families; not the 'answer.' Even after reading through it a teen should still talk with his parents about its topics or other questions that may arise from reading the book.
The following are some of the chapters and topics:
- Sex Was God's Idea with a discussion of the idea that God designed us as male or female
- "The Talk" should be more than just sex education and should happen on more than one occurrence within a Biblical context.
- Hook-ups, gender-bending, [and] porn are discussed
- Presentation of a five-point defense for young men to remain pure
I enjoyed the organization of the book – each chapter has subheadings and a summary to help you navigate your way through the text, writing style, inclusion of references via footnotes, space for notes, and the way the book went over how dangerous sexting is (this topic scares me because a teen could just receive a sexting message and they could be charged with child pornography).
I have a few reservations – if someone told me to sing a hymn to distract me from temptation I might laugh. Using music in the manner suggesting in the chapter How Can a Young Man Keep His Way Pure? is not something that would work for me. I am not sure if it would work for our teen either.
I also had some difficulty with the chapter on friendship and moving beyond it. I understand the importance of not sending mixed messages to friends but I think a little too much emphasis is placed on the idea that a young man or young woman may say or do something that might give the wrong impression.
Even with my reservations, I would still recommend this book to parents looking for a Christian viewpoint on raising their sons.
February 25, 2024
This was an amazing read.
It gave the best talk about sex I have ever heard, and by the end of the chapter I was just floored at God's design instead of wishing I hadn't read it. He also continued the process after sex to show how it leads to pregnancy and childbirth, which gave me a different and better perspective.
This little book left me encouraged to kill sin and strive for sexual purity.
It gave the best talk about sex I have ever heard, and by the end of the chapter I was just floored at God's design instead of wishing I hadn't read it. He also continued the process after sex to show how it leads to pregnancy and childbirth, which gave me a different and better perspective.
This little book left me encouraged to kill sin and strive for sexual purity.
March 13, 2018
What a fabulous book geared toward teens and young adult men. I loved how complete and honest it was with a plan to fight for what is right and a path up for when a person falls. What a great balance.
August 2, 2018
This book is a great read for anyone - you, your spouse, your boys, your girls. It has things that will benefit anyone of any age.
I had difficulty putting it down and not reading ahead due to very interesting chapters.
The Youngs don't pull punches. They tell it like it is - Biblically!
I had difficulty putting it down and not reading ahead due to very interesting chapters.
The Youngs don't pull punches. They tell it like it is - Biblically!
March 20, 2024
Excellent read for teenage sons!
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews