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Passing in the Night
Who is the man behind the mask that watches me? Dark and mysterious, he invades my mind, body, and soul while passing in the night. Is he a figment of my imagination, or does he really exist?
28 pages, ebook
Published June 17, 2017
1 person want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
July 6, 2017
2 Stars in Passing
I hate having to be brutal in reviews. Normal I would read something like this and not even review. But deep in the core of this book I see such great potential, but only if the one reading has an over active imagination. So let me break it down.
One, it felt rushed and sloppy. Like the writer had too many thoughts flying around in her mind. The very first paragraph was written out of order. It should be question, question, statement. Not question, statement, question.
Next Chapter One starts out as if she has already met this mysterious man, which as your read on she had not. Next she infers that Beth works at Club Mystic, we were an all exclusive, VIP, members only, club for successful businessmen and women who seeked the desires of the flesh; desires they could no get anywhere else. Again the next two paragraphs are out of order and out of grammar.
Let me just stop with the critiquing because I could do it paragraph by paragraph as I read and re-read three times. Plus I hate unnecessary commas. I counted about 25-30 unnecessary commas.
Every great author or those trying to break out keep three or four of the following books on their desk.
1. Dictionary
2. Thesaurus
3. Vocabulary Builder
4. The Book of GUM (grammar, usage, and mechanics)
A writer should never be afraid to brush up on all of the above aforementioned reading material.
What the heck, I keep a set in my reading room sometimes just for the shear pleasure of sharpening my reading skills.
So this is the question that begs to be answered. Why did I give this mess a 2 star review?? I felt sorry for her! There is a jewel in there somewhere.
Because the first step in becoming a really great writer is learning to take a really poor review. I see great potential in this story line. It just desperately needs to be refined. I will continue to read other material, in desperate hope of seeing this author grow.
P.S. A good reader will always read a lot of crap to get to the jewel. So Ms. Dean keep trying and I look forward to the next.
I hate having to be brutal in reviews. Normal I would read something like this and not even review. But deep in the core of this book I see such great potential, but only if the one reading has an over active imagination. So let me break it down.
One, it felt rushed and sloppy. Like the writer had too many thoughts flying around in her mind. The very first paragraph was written out of order. It should be question, question, statement. Not question, statement, question.
Next Chapter One starts out as if she has already met this mysterious man, which as your read on she had not. Next she infers that Beth works at Club Mystic, we were an all exclusive, VIP, members only, club for successful businessmen and women who seeked the desires of the flesh; desires they could no get anywhere else. Again the next two paragraphs are out of order and out of grammar.
Let me just stop with the critiquing because I could do it paragraph by paragraph as I read and re-read three times. Plus I hate unnecessary commas. I counted about 25-30 unnecessary commas.
Every great author or those trying to break out keep three or four of the following books on their desk.
1. Dictionary
2. Thesaurus
3. Vocabulary Builder
4. The Book of GUM (grammar, usage, and mechanics)
A writer should never be afraid to brush up on all of the above aforementioned reading material.
What the heck, I keep a set in my reading room sometimes just for the shear pleasure of sharpening my reading skills.
So this is the question that begs to be answered. Why did I give this mess a 2 star review?? I felt sorry for her! There is a jewel in there somewhere.
Because the first step in becoming a really great writer is learning to take a really poor review. I see great potential in this story line. It just desperately needs to be refined. I will continue to read other material, in desperate hope of seeing this author grow.
P.S. A good reader will always read a lot of crap to get to the jewel. So Ms. Dean keep trying and I look forward to the next.
June 22, 2017
This is a short but enjoyable read Beth dances at club mystic. After staying late one night she gets spooked thinking someone is watching her, so she leaves to go home. It is raining and she has an accident and her car ends up down an embankment.
When she wakes up she is in her own bed, she does not know how she got there until she sees him, the man in the mask. There is an attraction between them he has been watching her at the club. Beth does not know who he is but knows that she wants him sexually. I would love to say more but I do not wish to give anything away. Recommended short, hot read.
When she wakes up she is in her own bed, she does not know how she got there until she sees him, the man in the mask. There is an attraction between them he has been watching her at the club. Beth does not know who he is but knows that she wants him sexually. I would love to say more but I do not wish to give anything away. Recommended short, hot read.
July 1, 2017
This is a short yet hot, scintillating read. You meet Beth who dances at a club. On her way home there's an accident, but she wakes up at home to a mysterious man in a mask, whom she is drawn to instead of frightened by. Their chemistry is palpable and the one sexy interaction they have is explosive. Tori draws you in with this mysterious white knight all while making you yearn for your own masked man, leaving you panting for more.
June 21, 2017
A dark mystery man, brings out a woman’s deepest wants and needs…
After an accident, on a dark and stormy night, Beth wakes to find she is being cared for by a captivating, masked man. Who is he? Can this be real, or is she dreaming? Perhaps she injured her head in the wreck? Is there any chance that he could be real, or, is he a figment of her imagination…?
This is a scintillating and beautiful read. The whole thing feels like you are in a dream. I was transported to a place where things felt earth real and, quite frankly, magical. It reminded me of the dreams of my youth, imagining a mysteriously handsome man, coming to my rescue, falling in love with me, and living happily ever after. There is a lovely, Phantom Of The Opera, feel to this short read.
5 Stars for this one! Tori Dean weaves a mysterious tale that is for adults only. This is a quick read, with a HFN, that will leave you daydreaming and feeling wonderful. Enjoy! It comes highly recommended.
After an accident, on a dark and stormy night, Beth wakes to find she is being cared for by a captivating, masked man. Who is he? Can this be real, or is she dreaming? Perhaps she injured her head in the wreck? Is there any chance that he could be real, or, is he a figment of her imagination…?
This is a scintillating and beautiful read. The whole thing feels like you are in a dream. I was transported to a place where things felt earth real and, quite frankly, magical. It reminded me of the dreams of my youth, imagining a mysteriously handsome man, coming to my rescue, falling in love with me, and living happily ever after. There is a lovely, Phantom Of The Opera, feel to this short read.
5 Stars for this one! Tori Dean weaves a mysterious tale that is for adults only. This is a quick read, with a HFN, that will leave you daydreaming and feeling wonderful. Enjoy! It comes highly recommended.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews