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In Extremis
In Extremis is one of the most implacable, but also one of the funniest, novels about death and family you will ever read. Thomas knows there is something he needs to say to his mother before she dies. But will he reach her in time? And will he have the courage to say what he couldn’t say before? His phone is buzzing, his mind is racing, and he can’t concentrate on the significance of what is happening. Should he try to solve his friend’s family crisis? Should he reconsider his separation from his wife? Why does he feel so utterly confused and paralysed? In his most exhilarating book to date, Tim Parks explores how profoundly our present identity is rooted in our family past. Can we ever really change?
- GenresFiction
352 pages, Paperback
Published May 15, 2018
3 people are currently reading
188 people want to read
About the author
Tim Parks
121 books586 followersBorn in Manchester in 1954, Tim Parks grew up in London and studied at Cambridge and Harvard. In 1981 he moved to Italy where he has lived ever since, raising a family of three children. He has written fourteen novels including Europa (shortlisted for the Booker prize), Destiny, Cleaver, and most recently In Extremis.
During the nineties he wrote two, personal and highly popular accounts of his life in northern Italy, Italian Neighbours and An Italian Education. These were complemented in 2002 by A Season with Verona, a grand overview of Italian life as seen through the passion of football. Other non-fiction works include a history of the Medici bank in 15th century Florence, Medici Money and a memoir on health, illness and meditation, Teach Us to Sit Still. In 2013 Tim published his most recent non-fiction work on Italy, Italian Ways, on and off the rails from Milan to Palermo.
Aside from his own writing, Tim has translated works by Moravia, Calvino, Calasso, Machiavelli and Leopardi; his critical book, Translating Style is considered a classic in its field. He is presently working on a translation of Cesare Pavese's masterpiece, The Moon and the Bonfires.
A regular contributor to the New York Review of Books and the London Review of Books, his many essays are collected in Hell and Back, The Fighter, A Literary Tour of Italy, and Life and Work.
Over the last five years he has been publishing a series of blogs on writing, reading, translation and the like in the New York Review online. These have recently been collected in Where I am Reading From and Pen in Hand.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
March 1, 2020
My last Parks-reads were a disappointment, but happily this one almost nears the level of magnificence of his prime novels Europa, Destiny and Judge Savage (Dreams of Rivers and Seas is even more excellent, but a very different kind of work). Just like in this top-trio Parks again offers a feverish interior monologue of a very complexed middle-aged man. Thomas Sanders is a professor of linguistics, child of an ultra-devout clergyman couple, but himself turned agnostic and indecisive in just about everything that matters in life. At the start of this novel he seems to have his live in order: he’s divorced, but now has a 30-year-younger Spanish girlfriend; for years he was plagued by severe pains in the abdominal area but through yoga has cured himself, and his professional career is thriving as he is invited to open an international conference on linguistics, in Berlin. But then, his blatter problems start again, and he receives a message that back in England his mother is dying.
As in the other top-trio books of Parks, again there is an incredible amount of humour in this book, but it is above all a very ingenious exploration of the problematic nature of our human condition. It is striking how much emphasis Parks in this novel puts on the physical aspect: Thomas's urinary problems (and the anal massage he applies for that) get hilarious attention, while he was raised by people who just ignored all physical aspects of live. His vigil at the bed of his dying mother makes him think about the futility and the greatness of life, but also confronts him with his own erratic life choices. And there is that constant self-doubt about what he ought to do, because Thomas really is a follower, someone who wants to please and only craves for a little love (in his words to his Spanish shrink: “Que haya un amor”). Through Park's writing style we’re able to sympathize with the feverish indecision of Thomas, his almost obsessional introspection that is also fuelled by a fascination for language, another similarity to Park's previous novels.
In short, Parks offers another gorgeous dish to taste. This novel not completely reaches the level of his aforementioned top novels, but it comes close. I really enjoyed this book (and I very much recommend the other ones).
As in the other top-trio books of Parks, again there is an incredible amount of humour in this book, but it is above all a very ingenious exploration of the problematic nature of our human condition. It is striking how much emphasis Parks in this novel puts on the physical aspect: Thomas's urinary problems (and the anal massage he applies for that) get hilarious attention, while he was raised by people who just ignored all physical aspects of live. His vigil at the bed of his dying mother makes him think about the futility and the greatness of life, but also confronts him with his own erratic life choices. And there is that constant self-doubt about what he ought to do, because Thomas really is a follower, someone who wants to please and only craves for a little love (in his words to his Spanish shrink: “Que haya un amor”). Through Park's writing style we’re able to sympathize with the feverish indecision of Thomas, his almost obsessional introspection that is also fuelled by a fascination for language, another similarity to Park's previous novels.
In short, Parks offers another gorgeous dish to taste. This novel not completely reaches the level of his aforementioned top novels, but it comes close. I really enjoyed this book (and I very much recommend the other ones).
June 29, 2020
This is the third of Tim Parks' novels I have read in the last few months, and one he himself saw as part of a series, in terms of style and themes, with the other two, saying In Extremis completes a group of four novels that began with Europa and runs through Destiny and Cleaver. That is, it is an intense, unrelenting narrative in which a man, Thomas Sanders, simultaneously confronts his past, brought back to him by his mother’s agony, and seeks to make apparently impossible decisions about the future. What results is a titanic struggle between body and mind in a few impossibly hectic days.
The novel begins:
Mother's corpse. This is what I keep thinking about.
Should I view it?
Why can't I decide.
Our indecisive first person narrator is Thomas Sanders. His deceased-of-some-years father, a Reverend and his mother, who dies/has just died during the novel*, both deeply religious as is his sister, whereas Thomas and his brother have rejected their faith.
[* the timeline of the novel progresses mainly in sequence, but with Thomas reflecting on some of the the events from a few days hence, which enables him/the author to make some interesting comments on memories of memories]
Thomas is 57, a professor of linguistics. He separated from his wife two years ago, having been unhappy in the marriage, and serially unfaithful, for some time. He currently lives in Spain with his girlfriend, 30 years his junior. As the novel opens he is preparing to be the keynote speaker at an academic conference in Berlin in a couple of days time, but is attending a more unusual conference, a convention of Dutch physiotherapists “talking over the niceties of prophylactic internal pelvic wall massage”, Thomas, having treated himself successfully for bladder problems, there to give his testimonial. This provides Parks with an excuse (and he hardly needs an excuse) for some rather crude humour, although here it links in rather better than it did in Europa, as the theme of bodily decay is key to the novel.
If Thomas may seem to have taken a definitive decision in both his rejection, during his teens, of his parent's faith, and more recently separating from his wife, in practice he is almost paralysed by the doubts of his biblical namesake (except unlike Thomas he is indecisive about even resolving his doubts):
Almost every decision I take I quickly regret having taken, with the result that not only do I always feel I have taken the wrong decision l, but that I haven’t really taken a decision at all. Or not altogether.
At the conference he receives a message from his sister saying that their mother, who had long been suffering with cancer, is close to death and he decides to return to the UK, before a flying visit to the Berlin conference, contending with a flare-up of his bladder problems, snow storms and airport security controls suspicious of the 'anal wand' he received at the conference, and also getting dragged into problems in the marriage of his best friend. And meanwhile he mulls over his romantic situation (is it really fair on his girlfriend to tie her to him as he himself ages? should he return to his estranged wife?):
I was aware that I had simply fallen into the trap of ranting about my own personal issues, while at the same time, oddly, actually avoiding these issues, in that I was rating rather than confronting them.
And he is preoccupied throughout his retelling of the last few days with the dilemma of whether to view his, now deceased, mother in her embalmed state in her open coffin, an arrangement he believes contrary to her own detailed plan for her funeral (a plan driven by her biblical view that her earthly body is but a husk or jar of clay, to be cast-off at death and separate from her immortal soul: 1 Corinthians 15:37, 2 Corinthians 4:7.)
In any event, it was while I was at my mother's house that summer in a state of maximum psychological precariousness, like a man about to take not one plunge but several, or perhaps none — and loathing myself into the bargain, yet at the same time not entirely unhappy, if only from the relief of being away from my wife; this without intending any criticism in her regard, the problem was mine, not hers — it was while I was there, towards the end of my stay, that my mother, who as I said had recently been operated on and was no longer her old self, in fact had clearly begun a phase of terminal decline, and you could see she wasn't her old self by the way she so determinedly 'acted' her old self, performed her old Christian cheerfulness, calling 'cooee' up the stairs and baking apple pies and cherry cakes, but also her old Christian severity, frowning if I ever mentioned yoga or meditation, which were works of the devil, not to mention separation or divorce (her nice neighbour had been abandoned for a younger woman and this was ungodly cruelty on the husband's part) — it was while I was at her house, possibly the evening before I was due to depart, that my mother first spoke to me of the funeral arrangements she had made.
Another verse, which returns to him despite his lack of faith, speaks to Thomas's own situation (1 Corinthians 13:11-12) both with his lack of clarity, and the fact that at 57, he is still defined by his upbringing and relationship with his parents:
Overall, of the three novels I've read Thomas (albeit with a big proviso around his philandering past) is the one of Parks' narrators with whom the reader, or this reader, could have most sympathy (Europa's narrator was dislikable and verging on unlikeable, and in Destiny the narrator's lashing out could be excused but only by his situation). For example, even though the narrator is relatively scornful of belief, the religious faith of his parents is treated largely with respect. That said the prose is less impressively Bernhardian than in Destiny and this felt, in its treatment of ageing, a little less distinctive in English literary terms.
A strong 4 star read
The novel begins:
Mother's corpse. This is what I keep thinking about.
Should I view it?
Why can't I decide.
Our indecisive first person narrator is Thomas Sanders. His deceased-of-some-years father, a Reverend and his mother, who dies/has just died during the novel*, both deeply religious as is his sister, whereas Thomas and his brother have rejected their faith.
[* the timeline of the novel progresses mainly in sequence, but with Thomas reflecting on some of the the events from a few days hence, which enables him/the author to make some interesting comments on memories of memories]
Thomas is 57, a professor of linguistics. He separated from his wife two years ago, having been unhappy in the marriage, and serially unfaithful, for some time. He currently lives in Spain with his girlfriend, 30 years his junior. As the novel opens he is preparing to be the keynote speaker at an academic conference in Berlin in a couple of days time, but is attending a more unusual conference, a convention of Dutch physiotherapists “talking over the niceties of prophylactic internal pelvic wall massage”, Thomas, having treated himself successfully for bladder problems, there to give his testimonial. This provides Parks with an excuse (and he hardly needs an excuse) for some rather crude humour, although here it links in rather better than it did in Europa, as the theme of bodily decay is key to the novel.
If Thomas may seem to have taken a definitive decision in both his rejection, during his teens, of his parent's faith, and more recently separating from his wife, in practice he is almost paralysed by the doubts of his biblical namesake (except unlike Thomas he is indecisive about even resolving his doubts):
Almost every decision I take I quickly regret having taken, with the result that not only do I always feel I have taken the wrong decision l, but that I haven’t really taken a decision at all. Or not altogether.
At the conference he receives a message from his sister saying that their mother, who had long been suffering with cancer, is close to death and he decides to return to the UK, before a flying visit to the Berlin conference, contending with a flare-up of his bladder problems, snow storms and airport security controls suspicious of the 'anal wand' he received at the conference, and also getting dragged into problems in the marriage of his best friend. And meanwhile he mulls over his romantic situation (is it really fair on his girlfriend to tie her to him as he himself ages? should he return to his estranged wife?):
I was aware that I had simply fallen into the trap of ranting about my own personal issues, while at the same time, oddly, actually avoiding these issues, in that I was rating rather than confronting them.
And he is preoccupied throughout his retelling of the last few days with the dilemma of whether to view his, now deceased, mother in her embalmed state in her open coffin, an arrangement he believes contrary to her own detailed plan for her funeral (a plan driven by her biblical view that her earthly body is but a husk or jar of clay, to be cast-off at death and separate from her immortal soul: 1 Corinthians 15:37, 2 Corinthians 4:7.)
In any event, it was while I was at my mother's house that summer in a state of maximum psychological precariousness, like a man about to take not one plunge but several, or perhaps none — and loathing myself into the bargain, yet at the same time not entirely unhappy, if only from the relief of being away from my wife; this without intending any criticism in her regard, the problem was mine, not hers — it was while I was there, towards the end of my stay, that my mother, who as I said had recently been operated on and was no longer her old self, in fact had clearly begun a phase of terminal decline, and you could see she wasn't her old self by the way she so determinedly 'acted' her old self, performed her old Christian cheerfulness, calling 'cooee' up the stairs and baking apple pies and cherry cakes, but also her old Christian severity, frowning if I ever mentioned yoga or meditation, which were works of the devil, not to mention separation or divorce (her nice neighbour had been abandoned for a younger woman and this was ungodly cruelty on the husband's part) — it was while I was at her house, possibly the evening before I was due to depart, that my mother first spoke to me of the funeral arrangements she had made.
Another verse, which returns to him despite his lack of faith, speaks to Thomas's own situation (1 Corinthians 13:11-12) both with his lack of clarity, and the fact that at 57, he is still defined by his upbringing and relationship with his parents:
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see in a mirror, darkly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
Overall, of the three novels I've read Thomas (albeit with a big proviso around his philandering past) is the one of Parks' narrators with whom the reader, or this reader, could have most sympathy (Europa's narrator was dislikable and verging on unlikeable, and in Destiny the narrator's lashing out could be excused but only by his situation). For example, even though the narrator is relatively scornful of belief, the religious faith of his parents is treated largely with respect. That said the prose is less impressively Bernhardian than in Destiny and this felt, in its treatment of ageing, a little less distinctive in English literary terms.
A strong 4 star read
August 22, 2019
Tim Parks’ın dilimize Ölüm Döşeğinde şeklinde çevrilebilecek 2017’de yayınlanan bu son romanı yine çarpıcı, düşündürücü. 57 yaşındaki ana kahramanımızın, bilimsel konferanslar ile ölüm döşeğinde olan annesi için yapması gereken son görevleri arasında gidip gelmesiyle başlayan roman, aile, sadakat, inanç, insan vücudunun zayıflıkları (vücut ve ruh karşılaştırması tekrarlanan bir tema) gibi ağır konuları görece şen bir şekilde ele alıyor. Konular ağır ama bu romanla müthiş bir mizah gücü olduğunu da ortaya koyuyor Parks
Yıllarca evli kaldığı, ama bu süre içinde pek sadık kalmadığı, sonunda ayrıldığı eşi ile çılgın bir aşk yaşadığı kendisinden 30 yaş küçük sevgilisi arasında şartların getirdiği bir durum sonucu ve mantık yürüterek bir nevi kararsızlık yaşaması da romanın önemli temalarından. Klişe ve de Parks’ın taktığı bir konu (yıllar sonra eşinden ayrılması, genç sevgili bulması, dindar ebeveynlere sahip olması bakımından kendi yaşamıyla paralellikler içermesi de ilginç!) ama bunu ustaca işliyor yazarımız. Yalnız tabii meseleye erkek odaklı ve benmerkezci bir şekilde yaklaşıldığı eleştirisi yapılabilir, özellikle kadın okurlar tarafından. Bir kendini temize çekme veya açıklama çabası olarak da görülebilir belki bu roman.
Daha önce ölen papaz babası ve sıkı Hristiyan annesi ve onları örnek alan kız kardeşi ile dindarlıkta ters düşmesi kitabın ilginç ama biraz daha kısa tutulabilecek bölümlerini oluşturuyor. Bir itirazım da yazarın idrar yollarının aktivitesine fazla takmış olması. Çeşitli ağrıların tedavisi için anal masaj hikayesi de cabası. Çok eğlendirici birkaç sahne olsa da roman boyunca ve en olmadık yerlerde bunlarla karşılaşmak bir yerden sonra bayıyor.
Yıllarca evli kaldığı, ama bu süre içinde pek sadık kalmadığı, sonunda ayrıldığı eşi ile çılgın bir aşk yaşadığı kendisinden 30 yaş küçük sevgilisi arasında şartların getirdiği bir durum sonucu ve mantık yürüterek bir nevi kararsızlık yaşaması da romanın önemli temalarından. Klişe ve de Parks’ın taktığı bir konu (yıllar sonra eşinden ayrılması, genç sevgili bulması, dindar ebeveynlere sahip olması bakımından kendi yaşamıyla paralellikler içermesi de ilginç!) ama bunu ustaca işliyor yazarımız. Yalnız tabii meseleye erkek odaklı ve benmerkezci bir şekilde yaklaşıldığı eleştirisi yapılabilir, özellikle kadın okurlar tarafından. Bir kendini temize çekme veya açıklama çabası olarak da görülebilir belki bu roman.
Daha önce ölen papaz babası ve sıkı Hristiyan annesi ve onları örnek alan kız kardeşi ile dindarlıkta ters düşmesi kitabın ilginç ama biraz daha kısa tutulabilecek bölümlerini oluşturuyor. Bir itirazım da yazarın idrar yollarının aktivitesine fazla takmış olması. Çeşitli ağrıların tedavisi için anal masaj hikayesi de cabası. Çok eğlendirici birkaç sahne olsa da roman boyunca ve en olmadık yerlerde bunlarla karşılaşmak bir yerden sonra bayıyor.
February 12, 2018
A man goes to his psychiatrist who asks him whether he has any trouble making decisions - and the man answers 'well, yes and no' ....
That joke came inevitably to mind when reading this novel.
Our hapless protagonist is a procrastinator par excellence who cannot make up his mind about anything, which is rather unfortunate as Time and Fate seem to conspire against him at every turn. He is also self-absorbed and obsessively introspective to the point of not being aware of his surroundings.
Parks' novel is a virtuoso performance of stream-of-consciousness writing, taking the reader inside his character's every musing which could have been maddeningly tedious in a lesser writer's hands.
Readers who dislike principal characters that have realistic human flaws should avoid this particular black comedy, but they will miss a rare treat.
That joke came inevitably to mind when reading this novel.
Our hapless protagonist is a procrastinator par excellence who cannot make up his mind about anything, which is rather unfortunate as Time and Fate seem to conspire against him at every turn. He is also self-absorbed and obsessively introspective to the point of not being aware of his surroundings.
Parks' novel is a virtuoso performance of stream-of-consciousness writing, taking the reader inside his character's every musing which could have been maddeningly tedious in a lesser writer's hands.
Readers who dislike principal characters that have realistic human flaws should avoid this particular black comedy, but they will miss a rare treat.
July 8, 2017
It takes nerve to write a novel about “what life is actually like”, about conflicting and confused motivations and the wonderful illogicality of our inner lives. Fortunately, Tim Parks has the self-discipline and the skill to pull it off. Thomas’s digressions are sheer joy if you’re interested in linguistic drift, the messy reality of bodies, the gulf between religion and rationality, the process of dying, family or infidelity.
Full review
What life is actually like: In Extremis by Tim Parks http://annegoodwin.weebly.com/1/post/...
Full review
What life is actually like: In Extremis by Tim Parks http://annegoodwin.weebly.com/1/post/...
August 20, 2017
I have a confession to make...I was attracted to this book by its cover and the title, which was interesting. The reviews were also a drawcard: "hilarious", one said. "Parks writing at the height of his powers", etc, etc.
Well, I'm sorry, but I'm clearly on a different wavelength. This book was not funny. I may have smiled once. Perhaps twice. And the hero! (or protagonist at least, or possibly anti-hero): a 57 year old male whose levels of procrastination make Hamlet look positively decisive. I found him intensely irritating and most of the other characters were a fair way from likeable (to the extent they were developed at all). Not to mention his absolute obsession with his bodily functions (or lack of function) - many, many pages too many on the state of his prostate.
The only reason I've given the book 2 stars and not one, is that I found the relationship the main character has with his dying/dead mother of some interest - that and the fact the book is well-written.
(PS I typcially read more books by women than men. I had to do a self-survey to make sure I hadn't applied some kind of sub-conscious bias here...but then I rememberd two of my highest rated books this year were by Ian McEwan and Anthony Doerr...so hopefully that's not the case).
Well, I'm sorry, but I'm clearly on a different wavelength. This book was not funny. I may have smiled once. Perhaps twice. And the hero! (or protagonist at least, or possibly anti-hero): a 57 year old male whose levels of procrastination make Hamlet look positively decisive. I found him intensely irritating and most of the other characters were a fair way from likeable (to the extent they were developed at all). Not to mention his absolute obsession with his bodily functions (or lack of function) - many, many pages too many on the state of his prostate.
The only reason I've given the book 2 stars and not one, is that I found the relationship the main character has with his dying/dead mother of some interest - that and the fact the book is well-written.
(PS I typcially read more books by women than men. I had to do a self-survey to make sure I hadn't applied some kind of sub-conscious bias here...but then I rememberd two of my highest rated books this year were by Ian McEwan and Anthony Doerr...so hopefully that's not the case).
May 24, 2018
This novel was captivating and so tightly constructed. Every detail circles back, everything matters, not a word is wasted. It is a sensitive examination of Thomas’ thoughts, and seemed to realistically mimic consciousness. I mean that this book never feels as though it was written by a writer - I felt that I was nowhere else but in our narrator’s head. This is tremendously hard to achieve and so rewarding to read.
February 18, 2018
In Extremis (Tim Parks, 8.5): urinary, anal & marital problems in this bittersweet Brit novel, but especially a 57-year-old linguist stuck in between language conventions, marriage, divorce, a young girlfriend, past, present & future, body & mind & his dying mother.
August 5, 2018
Rarely have I wanted to slap a main character more...
September 27, 2023
2,5 niet uitgelezen, halverwege het boek gestopt, het boeide me niet en ging zo traag! Ik hoopte echt op een boek met humor maar de humor heb ik er niet in gevonden.
October 23, 2022
This book falls in my 10 least satisfying reads. Really not a fan. The writing was constantly grating, possibly due to British vs US grammatical styles - or maybe i am just not compatible with this author as a reader.
The MC is a self absorbed man in his fifties, who cheated on his wife and then left their family for a woman half his age. The MC spends the majority of the book wallowing about his life in a pathetic narrative voice that honestly made me wish someone would put him (and us) out of his misery. The revelations are no more than whiney commentary along the likes of what you would expect from someone so entitled and selfish. The "humor" so many reviewers mentioned was non existant.
The cover of the copy i purchased is covered in quotes from reviewers: blazingly funny, gripping, high voltage storytelling, compulsively paced, darkly hilarious. I didn't find a single one of those to be true.
The MC is a self absorbed man in his fifties, who cheated on his wife and then left their family for a woman half his age. The MC spends the majority of the book wallowing about his life in a pathetic narrative voice that honestly made me wish someone would put him (and us) out of his misery. The revelations are no more than whiney commentary along the likes of what you would expect from someone so entitled and selfish. The "humor" so many reviewers mentioned was non existant.
The cover of the copy i purchased is covered in quotes from reviewers: blazingly funny, gripping, high voltage storytelling, compulsively paced, darkly hilarious. I didn't find a single one of those to be true.
May 4, 2018
Ja, deze Parks lijkt weer fel op voorgaand werk als 'Rechter Savage', 'Bestemming' of 'Europa'.
Parks is een beetje een one trick pony, specialiseert zich in de gedachtenstroom van mannen in een crisis, twijfels, angsten, vechtende verlangens enz...
In het begin heb je van deze déjà-lu even last, maar Parks is zo goed in wat hij doet, deze keer zo trefzeker in het schetsen van de kwetsbaarheid van de mannelijke middelbare man dat je jezelf zo herkent, dat je je met plezier opnieuw laat (in)pakken. Een eerste klas leeservaring. Waarvoor dank.
Parks is een beetje een one trick pony, specialiseert zich in de gedachtenstroom van mannen in een crisis, twijfels, angsten, vechtende verlangens enz...
In het begin heb je van deze déjà-lu even last, maar Parks is zo goed in wat hij doet, deze keer zo trefzeker in het schetsen van de kwetsbaarheid van de mannelijke middelbare man dat je jezelf zo herkent, dat je je met plezier opnieuw laat (in)pakken. Een eerste klas leeservaring. Waarvoor dank.
September 17, 2017
Thrilling and amazing and funny even if it was also very sad. Absolutely loved it from start to finish.
June 23, 2021
Thomas Sanders is opgevoed in een gelovig Christelijk gezin. Zijn vader, die dertig jaar geleden is overleden, was predikant. Zijn moeder is altijd actief gebleven in haar kerk. Tom en zijn oudere broer hebben hun geloof vaarwel gezegd, zijn zus is met haar gezin nog altijd gelovig en kerkelijk actief.
Toms verhouding met zijn familie is precair. Een paar jaar geleden is hij gescheiden en nu woont hij samen met de 30 jaar jongere Else in Madrid daarover heeft hij zijn familie niets verteld. Wanneer hij bericht krijgt dat zij moeder op sterven ligt wil hij afreizen naar Londen maar Thomas kan geen beslissingen nemen. Net als zijn bijbelse naamgenoot is hij een "twijfelaar". Hij stelt zijn vertrek uit, hij weet niet wat hij met zijn ex (die nog altijd van hem houdt) wil, hij weet niet wat hij met zijn geliefde Else wil. Hij voelt zich vervreemd van zijn broers en zus en van zijn kinderen en zij moeder heeft hij vier jaar geleden voor het laatst gezien. Ook wanneer hij eenmaal in Hounslow is aangekomen twijfelt hij zo ongeveer over alles: welke bus hij moet nemen, welke dat hij moet omdoen, of hij toch niet liever als keynote speaker naar dat congres in Berlijn moet gaan, wat hij tegen zijn moeder moet zeggen enz. Zijn enig houvast in het leven is zijn maatje David maar David is in elkaar geslagen door zijn zoon en neemt, zodra hij weer uit het ziekenhuis is een grote hoeveelheid slaappillen in. Wanneer Thomas zich realiseert dat zijn belangrijkste link met David hun gedeelde passie voor porno en vreemdgaan is twijfelt hij ook aan de vriendschap.
Ondanks de irritante houding van Thomas weet Tim Sanders toch wat sympathie te wekken voor de eeuwige twijfelaar. Dat komt voornamelijk door zijn invoelend vermogen en zijn eerlijke observaties. Thomas is niet negatief over andere mensen en hij kan oprecht genieten van geluk bij anderen - ook als dat voor hem niet is weggelegd.
Toms verhouding met zijn familie is precair. Een paar jaar geleden is hij gescheiden en nu woont hij samen met de 30 jaar jongere Else in Madrid daarover heeft hij zijn familie niets verteld. Wanneer hij bericht krijgt dat zij moeder op sterven ligt wil hij afreizen naar Londen maar Thomas kan geen beslissingen nemen. Net als zijn bijbelse naamgenoot is hij een "twijfelaar". Hij stelt zijn vertrek uit, hij weet niet wat hij met zijn ex (die nog altijd van hem houdt) wil, hij weet niet wat hij met zijn geliefde Else wil. Hij voelt zich vervreemd van zijn broers en zus en van zijn kinderen en zij moeder heeft hij vier jaar geleden voor het laatst gezien. Ook wanneer hij eenmaal in Hounslow is aangekomen twijfelt hij zo ongeveer over alles: welke bus hij moet nemen, welke dat hij moet omdoen, of hij toch niet liever als keynote speaker naar dat congres in Berlijn moet gaan, wat hij tegen zijn moeder moet zeggen enz. Zijn enig houvast in het leven is zijn maatje David maar David is in elkaar geslagen door zijn zoon en neemt, zodra hij weer uit het ziekenhuis is een grote hoeveelheid slaappillen in. Wanneer Thomas zich realiseert dat zijn belangrijkste link met David hun gedeelde passie voor porno en vreemdgaan is twijfelt hij ook aan de vriendschap.
Ondanks de irritante houding van Thomas weet Tim Sanders toch wat sympathie te wekken voor de eeuwige twijfelaar. Dat komt voornamelijk door zijn invoelend vermogen en zijn eerlijke observaties. Thomas is niet negatief over andere mensen en hij kan oprecht genieten van geluk bij anderen - ook als dat voor hem niet is weggelegd.
February 10, 2018
Dit is weer zo'n boek waarvan ik eigenlijk helemaal geen zin heb om een bespreking te schrijven. Niet omdat het niet mooi was, of niet goed geschreven … maar omdat het me uiteindelijk niets deed. Wel tijdens het lezen. Het overlijden van je ouders, het bezoek aan ziekenhuis of hospice, het einde afwachten, keuzes maken voor de begrafenis … het boek brengt het allemaal weer even terug.
Het is eigenlijk één lange stream-of-consciousness van de verteller, een nauwelijks verhulde Tim Parks. Tom Sanders heeft in elk geval dezelfde onverklaarde bekkenpijnklachten als door de auteur beschreven in Teach us to sit still, en ook de gezinnen van herkomst vertonen overeenkomsten (dat weet ik uit zijn boek Where I'm reading from).
Running gag in het boek is de anale-massage-staaf en het feit dat Tom zo'n moeite heeft met plassen. Beetje anaal gefixeerd typje wel. In recensies vinden ze dit allemaal blazingly funny. Zo'n kind dat de hele tijd POEP durft te zeggen.
Wat hij vertelt over zijn moeder, en zijn relatie met haar, is mooi en ontroerend. Wat hij vertelt over zijn prille liefde voor een veel jongere vrouw ook. Wat hij vertelt over zijn vak als linguïst (hij bezoekt een congres in Berlijn) is interessant. Maar zoveel meer bladzijden en scènes en intriges (een hele plotlijn over een overspelige vriend en zijn al-dan-niet homoseksuele zoon) zijn vervelend. Het is een boek dat je net zo goed wel als niet kunt lezen.
Het is eigenlijk één lange stream-of-consciousness van de verteller, een nauwelijks verhulde Tim Parks. Tom Sanders heeft in elk geval dezelfde onverklaarde bekkenpijnklachten als door de auteur beschreven in Teach us to sit still, en ook de gezinnen van herkomst vertonen overeenkomsten (dat weet ik uit zijn boek Where I'm reading from).
Running gag in het boek is de anale-massage-staaf en het feit dat Tom zo'n moeite heeft met plassen. Beetje anaal gefixeerd typje wel. In recensies vinden ze dit allemaal blazingly funny. Zo'n kind dat de hele tijd POEP durft te zeggen.
Wat hij vertelt over zijn moeder, en zijn relatie met haar, is mooi en ontroerend. Wat hij vertelt over zijn prille liefde voor een veel jongere vrouw ook. Wat hij vertelt over zijn vak als linguïst (hij bezoekt een congres in Berlijn) is interessant. Maar zoveel meer bladzijden en scènes en intriges (een hele plotlijn over een overspelige vriend en zijn al-dan-niet homoseksuele zoon) zijn vervelend. Het is een boek dat je net zo goed wel als niet kunt lezen.
November 13, 2019
Studies have shown that one of the benefits of fiction is the empathy towards different viewpoints, but the narrator in this book was so dull that I found myself wanting never to grow old.
Set in a short timeframe of about a week, this is not a fast-paced thriller, but features a middle-aged man who is struggling to keep on top of everything in his life, from his mother dying, to his relationships with friends, his ex-wife, and his current girlfriend. As his thoughts flit between subjects he goes on many tangents, which I thought were mixed - some were humorous observations or pedantry, others were poor jokes that didn't land. The positive spin is that the unfunny tangents did at least give the impression of interrupting the story, so Parks must have been doing something right, but my interest waned at points.
I normally prefer novels over a short time span as it allows for more subtle shifts, but some of the events could have done with more context - one character didn't seem close enough to demand Thomas' attention, and it was hard to see Elsa as a credible girlfriend when most of his texts to her seemed more calculated than emotional. Sometimes there was also the sense that this wasn't leading anywhere, and there isn't a simple problem to be solved at the close. This isn't a huge problem overall, but without the plot tension, the weaker bits stood out.
If this was a young writer I might say it 'showed promise' but Parks is very much an old hand when it comes to writing, making this slightly disjointed novel a disappointment. The plot could have been more intriguing or the language sharper, but I felt that the underlying structure was solid, and the delivery let it down.
Set in a short timeframe of about a week, this is not a fast-paced thriller, but features a middle-aged man who is struggling to keep on top of everything in his life, from his mother dying, to his relationships with friends, his ex-wife, and his current girlfriend. As his thoughts flit between subjects he goes on many tangents, which I thought were mixed - some were humorous observations or pedantry, others were poor jokes that didn't land. The positive spin is that the unfunny tangents did at least give the impression of interrupting the story, so Parks must have been doing something right, but my interest waned at points.
I normally prefer novels over a short time span as it allows for more subtle shifts, but some of the events could have done with more context - one character didn't seem close enough to demand Thomas' attention, and it was hard to see Elsa as a credible girlfriend when most of his texts to her seemed more calculated than emotional. Sometimes there was also the sense that this wasn't leading anywhere, and there isn't a simple problem to be solved at the close. This isn't a huge problem overall, but without the plot tension, the weaker bits stood out.
If this was a young writer I might say it 'showed promise' but Parks is very much an old hand when it comes to writing, making this slightly disjointed novel a disappointment. The plot could have been more intriguing or the language sharper, but I felt that the underlying structure was solid, and the delivery let it down.
May 17, 2017
Hmmmm ... this book is a strange one. At times it was very insightful - being a middle aged man comes with urinary and prostate problems and having to cope with stresses of life along with struggling to go to the toilet is a theme not often discussed. It's realistic and harrowing all the same.
But I was slightly confused. Nowhere does it say that this is a sequel to his previous novel Thomas and Mary, but I assumed it was nonetheless. It isn't a sequel, but I find it baffling to have two novels (published sequentially) both with the main character called Thomas.
As interesting as it is to see a snapshot moment in one man's life as he rushes home to deal with the death of his Mother, I found the book repetitive and meandering. Paragraphs can last a page and a half which is sometimes difficult to read.
I also found the side story arc of his best friend's family crisis interesting, but by the end we don't actually get to see a resolution or how things progress from (SPOILER) his attempted suicide.
But I was slightly confused. Nowhere does it say that this is a sequel to his previous novel Thomas and Mary, but I assumed it was nonetheless. It isn't a sequel, but I find it baffling to have two novels (published sequentially) both with the main character called Thomas.
As interesting as it is to see a snapshot moment in one man's life as he rushes home to deal with the death of his Mother, I found the book repetitive and meandering. Paragraphs can last a page and a half which is sometimes difficult to read.
I also found the side story arc of his best friend's family crisis interesting, but by the end we don't actually get to see a resolution or how things progress from (SPOILER) his attempted suicide.
October 22, 2019
Stream of Consciousness novels are a type that I've never really got on with. When the book jacket says its the funniest book of all time, they rarely seem to deliver. These two points meant my enjoyment was not as high as would have been suggested from the gushing praise. Maybe got a couple of chuckles from me but that was it.
Thomas's mother is on her deathbed. Unfortunate timing as he thinks that his new prostate massage tool is the answer to all of his middle aged, middle class problems. He doesn't really get a chance to use it but the author constantly refers to it until a point of reader boredom is reached quite quickly. He spends the rest of the book being a procrastinating bore, unable to make a decision about anything.
A study in life, dying, family ties. Fails to deliver.
Thomas's mother is on her deathbed. Unfortunate timing as he thinks that his new prostate massage tool is the answer to all of his middle aged, middle class problems. He doesn't really get a chance to use it but the author constantly refers to it until a point of reader boredom is reached quite quickly. He spends the rest of the book being a procrastinating bore, unable to make a decision about anything.
A study in life, dying, family ties. Fails to deliver.
September 13, 2024
A very depressing book about a very selfish man whose mother is about to die. He is very irritating and cannot seem to make a decision to save his life. I’m not sure what the point of the book is and only got to the end of part one. I gave up because he was so obsessed with a lecture he had to give he forgot to kiss his mother’s dead body goodbye.
The writing is very mostly disjointed some sentences being a paragraph long. Then at other points the writing flows well. The story is unbelievably repetitive and painfully slow.
The book does illustrate the difficulties of getting on with other family members especially when they have their own agendas that come above everything else even when their mother is about to pass away. Ring any bells ?
The writing is very mostly disjointed some sentences being a paragraph long. Then at other points the writing flows well. The story is unbelievably repetitive and painfully slow.
The book does illustrate the difficulties of getting on with other family members especially when they have their own agendas that come above everything else even when their mother is about to pass away. Ring any bells ?
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October 20, 2019Selbstfindungsprosa. Sorry, abgebrochen (nach ca. der Hälfte). Als auf die sechzig zugehender Linguistikprofessor (in Madrid lebend, aber eigentlich ständig auf Dienstreise) fragt man sich im Schatten einer im Sterben liegenden Mutter, wie man zu dem geworden ist, der man nunmal ist. Freunde mit beknackten Problemen, Geschwister in Übersee, dreißig Jahre jüngere Freundin, schmerzhafte Analmassagen. Kinder gibt es auch. Nicht ohne Humor geschrieben, aber es passiert zu viel, ohne dass irgendwas passiert. Warum soll ich das lesen? Und wo ist Mordecai Richler, wenn man ihn braucht? Ohne Wertung.
June 18, 2023
Read his book Hotel Milano which was a complex beautiful human written piece.
So I wanted to read more by him and completed his book In Extremis. It took a while....
This book is different.
It's about his dying mother and how he sees himself in and around the family with his mother in centre of it all.
As stated in the back of the book.
"A thrillingly unsentimental-thrilling because unsentimental-meditation on every aspect and orifice of the human body"
Never read anything like it, my wife put it down but I persuade at a slow pace through it.
Did recognise myself in the book which is scary but I could not laugh out loud as others seems to have done.
So I wanted to read more by him and completed his book In Extremis. It took a while....
This book is different.
It's about his dying mother and how he sees himself in and around the family with his mother in centre of it all.
As stated in the back of the book.
"A thrillingly unsentimental-thrilling because unsentimental-meditation on every aspect and orifice of the human body"
Never read anything like it, my wife put it down but I persuade at a slow pace through it.
Did recognise myself in the book which is scary but I could not laugh out loud as others seems to have done.
August 26, 2017
Young lover, dead mother and an anal massage. Since living in Italy, I've grown fond of Tim Parks. His Italian Ways helped me navigate the railways and understand the intricacies of the Italian mind. Italian Neighbors helped me figure out the people living above, below and with me. But In Extremis was all too English for me. I feel like Parks has turned into a cantankerous old fart armed with an anal wand instead of a cane. Perhaps that was exactly the kind of character he hoped to create, or, perhaps that is just the effect England has on those who've lived on the continent.
July 27, 2018
This is a quiet book that grows on you. It has clever observations and is strongly in the lit-fic genre with lots of exploration of thoughts and feelings surrounding the death of the main character's mother. I really enjoyed it and would recommend to those who I think would appreciate it while recognising that not everyone would.
October 13, 2020
I found this book at once both entertaining and depressing. Tom’s thoughts are wonderfully detailed and scarily accurate to anyone who has ever been addressing some of the issues of family that Tom find himself doing. It was a joy to read and I was sorry when it ended
July 18, 2025
A moving and darkly humorous novel about the death of a loved one from whom once had nonetheless kept a certain distance. Based on what I know about Parks' life from his other books, there would seem to be a considerable amount of autobiography in it.
August 29, 2017
Dark comedic fiction with a fascination for delicate massage...
September 4, 2017
yet again...enjoyed the first half and then just couldn't care less about the story or the characters.
August 15, 2018
fantastic!
June 3, 2020
Entertaining, but I also found the protagonist rather weird and unattractive.
September 5, 2020
Death of mother. Comedy too.
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