Overcoming Shame: Let Go of Others’ Expectations and Embrace God’s Acceptance

by Mark W. Baker

Are You Ready to Be Free of Your Shame? Shame is debilitating. It ruins relationships, thwarts growth, and destroys hope. It can masquerade as various problems—guilt, envy, pride, resentment—but until you heal the core issue, freedom will remain out of reach. Dr. Mark W. Baker wants to open your eyes to the real battle you're facing and teach you the skills to effectively fight back. He will help you see... Combining psychological research, sound biblical teachings, and clinical experience, Dr. Baker provides a valuable resource to address the pain no one talks about—and explore the only remedy that can bring real healing.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Theology

224 pages, Paperback

Published March 6, 2018

About the author

Dr. Baker received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and Master's Degree in Theology from Fuller Seminary, and has received a Certificate in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy from the Southern California Psychoanalytic Institute. He is licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist in California, and has served as an ordained minister. Dr. Baker is the Executive Director of the La Vie Counseling Centers with offices in Pasadena and Santa Monica, which has been serving the Los Angeles area for over thirty-five years. Dr. Baker is a frequent lecturer on the topics of spirituality and emotional heath on radio, television and churches, and his best selling book Jesus- The Greatest Therapist Who Ever Lived has sold over 2 million copies and been published in several languages around the world.

Reviews

[Liene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please read this book! If a lot of people would read "Boundaries" and this book, we would live in a much better,more connected place.

[Psusan · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an ordinary everyday person, I found that Overcoming Shame (Let Go of Others’ Expectations and Embrace God’s Acceptance) by Mark W. Baker makes one of the clearest distinctions in the differences between guilt and shame. Clear, concise and easy for me to see exactly the connection and the mistaken confusion. It was eye-opening for me to see that even many writers in the field of psychology have added to the confusion.

After seeing how they could be related, guilt interchanged in our thinking for shame, it is allowing vulnerable that seemed especially hard to do. However, I appreciated the Godly focus of the book, looking for God’s acceptance and not man’s.

An enlightening book which reads well, not like a text book at all. It has examples of others, in which the reader could easily relate. It certainly more than meets the expectations that are set forth in the following description, “Combining psychological research, sound biblical teachings, and clinical experience, Dr. Baker provides a valuable resource.”

4.5 Stars - The stars are based on how helpful I found the book as one who does not have a background in the study of any branch of psychology.

The publisher through Net Galley provided a copy.

[Vera · Rating 4 out of 5]

*** ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review ***

I really enjoyed reading Dr Mark W Baker’s Overcoming Shame. As a clinical psychologist, his book is full of inspiring stories of struggle followed by personal victories.

I picked Overcoming Shame after I read all Dr Brene Brown’s books. I wanted to know more about shame and I wanted to hear it from another perspective.

What is shame? Shame is this corrosive feeling inside us that tells us: “you are not good enough”.

Baker talks about shame in a way that I could relate to and his take on shame gives me another perspective on this feeling I would like to sometimes completely eradicate. But then again, that would make me a psychopath… so thank you shame for stopping by! :-)).

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand this feeling a bit more deeply. We all feel it and when we talk about it and are shedding some light at it, it can no longer spin inside of us its own secretive and corrosive stories. When we give shame our voice, it cannot survive.

[Lisa Beaulieu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a secret self help junkie, but most of it is junk - this book is so good, I had to give it a plug here, even though I hate admitting I read so much self help. He draws from solid research, Brene Brown's work in particular, his own clinical practice, and his faith. You don't need to be Christian to get alot out of this book, but an atheist might as well move along, it's going to annoy them. Anyway, I have always had a hard time with Brene Brown - she is wonderful, but somehow it never clicks for me the way it does for other people - and this book, his recapitulation of her ideas, made me a fan of both his and hers. This book is a life changer I believe. And it is nothing at all like Bradshaw, if you got turned off over trying to heal your shame by him. God love him, but no! No blaming the parents, no wallowing, and best of all no inner child silliness. He mentions Bradshaw in one sentence, neither praising nor condemning him, and I got all nervous, but that was a little blip thank heavens.

[Reem · Rating 5 out of 5]

هذا الكتاب يزيح الستار عن أدنى المشاعر التي تخبر عن الأفكار الشرسة التي تنهش بقيمتنا وبمن نحن، التي تضرب جذورنا وتسبب لها الهشاشة. يخبر الكتاب بأشكال هذا الشعور الخفي ومنها المثالية، والنرجسية، والانسحاب مع الغضب ولوم الآخرين ويخبر أيضا بماهية هذا الشعور وطرق التعامل معه ولماذا هو أصلًا مشكلة وتلك هي النقطة، لأنه يثير الرغبة في الاختباء وقطع الصلات بالآخرين وهذا يعاكس تيار حقيقة الإنسان حقيقته بأنه "كائن اجتماعي". يتطلب التغلب على العار الشجاعة لهدم حصون ضعفك وانفتاحك لأن الإنغلاق هو ما يجعل الشعور ينمو ويتعاظم وأيضا الرحمة لذاتك وقبلوها.

[David Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Psychologist and therapist Mark Baker apprehends the current research on shame and integrates it into his practice. He is very good at defining and describing terms – shame, guilt, vulnerability, self-esteem, courage, and grace as well as resentment, jealousy, envy, narcissism, perfectionism, withdrawal, addictions, panic attacks, and fundamentalism. He shows how these latter negative emotions and experiences are rooted in shame. He adds to the Brené Brown conversation about courage and vulnerability the missing component of God’s accepting grace. Baker also includes a helpful list of Bible verses on shame in the appendix.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was super hopeful about this book. It started off strong, but left me wishing for more...maybe it was too wordy?

[Karen Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

For once, a book that doesn't shout Christianity at you but incorporates it into dealing with shame, which we all suffer from to one degree or another. Excellent.

[Graeme Lauber · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very helpful overview of a critical topic.

[Ylva · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I found this book online, I was really interested in the topic and I was looking forward to reading it. I think shame is an issue that many people struggle with and I was especially interested in the perspective of a Christian psychologist. And there were many good points in this books. Dr. Baker always made sure that the reader unterstands want he wants to say and he combined biblical teaching and his knowledge as a psychologist really well. He explains that shame is normal, sometimes good even and everybody experiences it and then gives a sound explanation for problematic shame and how to distinguish if the shame you're experiencing is good or problematic.
The only thing that I would criticize is that it was a little repetitive at times, especially in the middle of the book. But then it got better again and he closed the book with a very good chapter on the differences between men and women when it comes to dealing wth shame.

I think this book will be really helpful for Christians that are wondering if the shame they deal with is problematic and what they can do about it. It's a great resource and I would recommend it.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Janice · Rating 4 out of 5]

I very much appreciated this book. It brought new and deeper insight to me about the difference between guilt and shame and the corrosiveness of the latter in particular. I could have done with a bit less of the religious overtones but that aspect is of course made clear in the book's description. Overall, compassionate in tone, well-researched in content with helpful advice, this is a recommended book for sure.
My thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely life-changing information. Truly eye-opening to discover the difference between guilt and shame and about being "shame-prone" and that it does not have to be the result of extreme trauma. If you want to understand why if feels like you will always be "this broken," read this book - I believe it may be the light bulb moment, the information that enlightens you in such a way that you can break through to freedom and once again find hope.