Getting Back Out There: Secrets to Successful Dating and Finding Real Love after the Big Breakup

by Susan J. Elliott JD MEd

You're ready for a new romance, but how can you avoid repeating past mistakes? The author of Getting Past Your Breakup offers an essential guide to building a healthy relationship. Plenty of dating books offer advice on how to flirt or catch someone's eye, but they won't help you make better decisions during the selection process so you can find real love. Based on years of research and work with her own clients, Susan Elliott offers a proven plan that will help you Examine past relationships for unfinished business and negative patterns Identify warning signs and red flags Keep your standards and boundaries high, even when you're head over heels Work through rejection, rebounding, and other bumps in the road Decide when to take a relationship to the next level and when to say goodbye With practical rules, strategies, and self-assessments -- including tips for dating as a parent and dating online -- Getting Back Out There will help you transition from your split to a happy, healthy new relationship.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Relationships, Audiobook, Love, Reference

305 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 4, 2013

Reviews

[Marianna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wise, sensible, and comprehensive book for both men and women. I wouldn't call the content "secrets" to "successful dating", however. I agree with other reviewers here that this is not a "dating book". It's more like a mix of common sense and endeavoring to take an as-"objective"-as-possible look at the people with whom one is in contact by considering exhaustively a number of variables before making any decisions about committing to a relationship. This book is also about practicing self-care, healthy boundaries, and having the self-love to fully enjoy one's life and be happy regardless of the presence of a partner, which is an important place to be to make the right choice in this regard.

[Kathi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not a Dating book! THIS is a guide to prepare you to recognize "unhealthy partners", "red flags we ignore", all types of "narcissists " and "emotionally unavailable people". It should be read as soon as your relationship has ended.

The stand out of this book is the "Standards and Compatibility" list that are necessary for setting up your personal boundaries. Eye opening for sure !

Susan's philosophy and her books are first rate winners! This is a must read for anyone who has been betrayed, left or in a hurtful relationship looking to make smart love choices going forward.

[Sheila Ambrose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazingly helpful book to get my head in the right space, way before I'm ready to start dating again. This book helps break down where you missed red flags in prior relationships, determine what is a quality you absolutely need in your future partner and what is a non-negotiable, deal breaker (with qualified exceptions). I love the activities to put what you've read into action and personalize the process for yourself. So so good!

[Rebecca Watkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a lovely, well written book about how to mentally prepare for dating again after the breakup of a previous relationship. Wonderful sections on grief, recovery, analyzing wants and needs, how to be resilient in the world of dating, recognizing red flags, and how to progress through the early stages of a healthy relationship. Sound, step by step advice written in a clear, matter of fact style.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exactly what I needed

Susan does an excellent job writing to your heart and mind
It took me longer than normal to get through because I journaled as I went so sitting with the book to let it sink in was a learning experience for knowing myself

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all struggle after a breakup, separation or divorce and Ms. Elliott has provided a step-by-step process for recovery. This book helps readers analyze what went wrong in their relationships, false expectations of love, how to work through your past so that future relationships are founded with solid foundations. She provides some helpful and thought-provoking exercises that help to create self-realization. Focusing on creating healthy boundaries, importance of self-image and worth and clear expectations this book offers plenty of useful feedback. A great read for someone who is coming out of a long term relationship and is working from coupledom back to singledom.

[Jeff D · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title of the book is a little bit of a misnomer because it is more than a dating book. It really is about how to know yourself, and understand how you got to where you are, and what you need to look for and do moving forward to not repeat history (or at least give yourself a good chance).

Her first book "Getting Past Your Breakup" and this one go together so if you are going through a rough period I would get both.

Highly recommended.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so great! If you really do her steps, and work the program, you will be a healthy dating person and eventually find a healthy person to date and your partnership will have a better chance of being successful. These methods seem so logical yet it takes someone telling you what to do to actually do it. I cant wait to put these methods into practice.

[Rob · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good follow-up to GPYB, with useful reminders as well as tactics for how to navigate Dating, Early Relationship, and then a long-term committed relationship.

[Serena Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful with many great references!

[Stefany]

Learned a lot

I really loved it and i learned a lot from the book. I wish the you and i inventory exercise would have been more detailed and had examples

[Allyson Tilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book for personal self-growth that is critical to forming new and healthy relationships in dating. It can even be applied to family relationships as well because the activities help you focus on mistakes made in the past and how to set reasonable boundaries and have better communication. Susan J. Elliott pulls no punches with her witty and intelligent writing style. I’ve read this book twice in the last four years and got so much out of it both times!

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is essential for those who want to make healthy choices in dating and relationships. It points out how to recognize red flags and (hopefully) not make the same pitfalls that may have lead to pain and heartbreak.