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The Better Mom: Growing in Grace between Perfection and the Mess
Mothering is messy. Our joy and hope in raising children doesn’t change the reality that being a mom can be frustrating, stressful, and tiring. But just as God is using us to shape our children, God is using our children and motherhood to shape us. In The Better Mom , author Ruth Schwenk, herself a mother of four children, encourages us with the good news that there is more to being a mom than the extremes of striving for perfection or simply embracing the mess. We don’t need to settle for surviving our kids’ childhood. We can grow through it. With refreshing and heartfelt honesty Ruth emboldens moms At the heart of The Better Mom is the message that Jesus calls us to live not a weary life, but a worthy life. We don’t have to settle for either being apathetic or struggling to be perfect. Both visions of motherhood go too far. Ruth offers a better option. She says, “It’s okay to come as we are, but what we’re called to do and be is far too important to stay there! The way to becoming a better mom starts not with what we are doing, but with who God is inviting us to become."
208 pages, Paperback
Published April 24, 2018
98 people are currently reading
384 people want to read
About the author
Ruth Schwenk
35 books36 followersRuth Schwenk is the creator of TheBetterMom.com, and along with her husband, the creator of FortheFamily.org. She is a pastor’s wife, mom of four energetic kids, a lover of coffee, and dreamer of big dreams. She loves leading, speaking, and blogging. Ruth is the co-author of two forthcoming books with Zondervan. A graduate of The Moody Bible Institute, Ruth and her husband have been serving in local church ministry for nearly fifteen years.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
September 5, 2024
More like 4.5
I really enjoyed this and marked up so many pages.
I really enjoyed this and marked up so many pages.
February 21, 2025
Some really really good things in here.
BUT so repetitive! I felt like I was reading the same paragraphs over and over. It’s almost 200 pages and it could have been shortened by a ton.
I’m rounding up to a 3 ⭐️
Also, even though I stay at home with my kiddos, she repeatedly talks about quitting several jobs because “she didn’t feel like a good mom” and I think it could be alienating to moms who have to work or even choose to work.
BUT so repetitive! I felt like I was reading the same paragraphs over and over. It’s almost 200 pages and it could have been shortened by a ton.
I’m rounding up to a 3 ⭐️
Also, even though I stay at home with my kiddos, she repeatedly talks about quitting several jobs because “she didn’t feel like a good mom” and I think it could be alienating to moms who have to work or even choose to work.
June 16, 2018
This is one of those books that it was a blessing to read as a Mom. I guess I am often drawn to books on mothering and some are of course better than others. This one did take me a little while to "get into." I did enjoy reading it overall.
I like how each chapter focuses on a different pressure or issue a Mom may have. For example some of the chapter titles are: "I Want the Perfect Home," "I Have No Idea What I'm Doing," and "I Want to Make a Difference." Moms will be able to relate to this book. It is real about the struggles Moms face, but it isn't overly negative (like another book on motherhood I recently read). Another aspect I appreciated in this book was the biblical truths that are tied to each chapter.
Here is a quote I appreciated as I have been thinking about my oldest son having four more years of high school. I shared it on my Facebook page as I was reading this book.
"Time is not our enemy. While it is often sobering to think about the future and the fleeting time we have, this is why we are raising our kids! We are not raising our kids to keep them. We are raising our kids to release them to God for his purposes."
I received a copy of this book from Handlebar review program for my honest review. Thank you.
I like how each chapter focuses on a different pressure or issue a Mom may have. For example some of the chapter titles are: "I Want the Perfect Home," "I Have No Idea What I'm Doing," and "I Want to Make a Difference." Moms will be able to relate to this book. It is real about the struggles Moms face, but it isn't overly negative (like another book on motherhood I recently read). Another aspect I appreciated in this book was the biblical truths that are tied to each chapter.
Here is a quote I appreciated as I have been thinking about my oldest son having four more years of high school. I shared it on my Facebook page as I was reading this book.
"Time is not our enemy. While it is often sobering to think about the future and the fleeting time we have, this is why we are raising our kids! We are not raising our kids to keep them. We are raising our kids to release them to God for his purposes."
I received a copy of this book from Handlebar review program for my honest review. Thank you.
May 17, 2018
This is a good book. It helped me breathe a deep breath in the chaos of mothering young children. It helped me clearly see that children are like a payment we can receive joyfully—and one we must handle wisely. No matter the struggles we face, our children are a reward.
“In God’s hands, our kids can grow up to fulfill God’s purpose of piercing the darkness of the world in which they live—they are like weapons of truth, life, and light in a broken hurting world.”
This book is akin to having an exceptional mentor. It hits on the topics Christian moms truly care about. We want to know how to care deeply for our children and keep alive ourselves. Ruth reminds us that God used suffering and pressure to help Paul learn to rely on God’s strength. God used hardship to teach him to focus on building up an eternal kingdom. This is what we yearn for in our own hearts and those of our children. She calls it the blessing of our own weakness.
This is a great read for navigating the mess of motherhood with grace. It will bless you and remind you that, like it says in Psalm 127, your children are arrows and a reward. May you be blessed in your mothering.
“In God’s hands, our kids can grow up to fulfill God’s purpose of piercing the darkness of the world in which they live—they are like weapons of truth, life, and light in a broken hurting world.”
This book is akin to having an exceptional mentor. It hits on the topics Christian moms truly care about. We want to know how to care deeply for our children and keep alive ourselves. Ruth reminds us that God used suffering and pressure to help Paul learn to rely on God’s strength. God used hardship to teach him to focus on building up an eternal kingdom. This is what we yearn for in our own hearts and those of our children. She calls it the blessing of our own weakness.
This is a great read for navigating the mess of motherhood with grace. It will bless you and remind you that, like it says in Psalm 127, your children are arrows and a reward. May you be blessed in your mothering.
April 9, 2018
What a great book for mothers-to-be! (I'd say new moms, but who has the time?) This book really breaks it down and speaks to the different stages of motherhood in a conversational tone, not sugarcoating the bad parts, and being sure to include all of the juicy, good parts, too! It's not so much like having a conversation with a friend as it is like attending a really good seminar on motherhood. It covers topics such as bringing your newborn home, expectations versus reality, the trenches of young children, and navigating the older years. It focuses on keeping your joy through the mess of motherhood, and is an excellent place to turn on those days when you feel like throwing in the towel. A great read from a 'real' mom!
January 30, 2020
We'll agree to disagree about spending time refueling amoung friends instead of at home but other than that I liked a lot of what Ruth had to share.
At the heart of The Better Mom is the message that Jesus calls us to live not a weary life, but a worthy life. Our joy and hope in raising children doesn't change the reality that being a mom can be frustrating, stressful, and tiring. But just as God is using us to shape our children, God is using our children and motherhood to shape us.
At the heart of The Better Mom is the message that Jesus calls us to live not a weary life, but a worthy life. Our joy and hope in raising children doesn't change the reality that being a mom can be frustrating, stressful, and tiring. But just as God is using us to shape our children, God is using our children and motherhood to shape us.
July 2, 2018
This book really pulled at my heartstrings. I'm so glad I read it. It was a blessing.
August 27, 2018
What mom doesn’t appreciate kind, loving advice from a mom who’s a little further ahead than you? In The Better Mom, Ruth Schwenk shares her best advice to encourage moms.
I receive Ruth’s encouraging emails every week. Her writing is so encouraging and helpful, I share her posts on my social media every chance I get. When The Better Mom was published, I eagerly awaited reading more from Ruth.
This book encourages moms of children who are still living at home. It’s written in a friendly, down-to-earth tone. The focus of this book is to affirm each mom’s struggles and encourage her faith in every one.
Read some of these chapter titles, and you’ll see what I mean:
This is What I Signed Up For?
I Miss My Friends!
I Hate This Stage of Life!
Motherhood Is Robbing Me Of ____
I Want to Make A Difference
Can you see how Ruth isn’t afraid to get real, just by these lines? She meets moms in the trenches and lifts them up. She doesn’t pretend that “momming” is easy, and she isn’t afraid to share her struggles. Ruth endured five miscarriages and plenty of other challenges in her momming experience. They equip her to be knowledgeable and wise in her advice-sharing. Young moms will especially appreciate Ruth’s candor and inspiration.
Favorite Quotes to Inspire Moms
“Children are like a payment we can receive joyfully–and one we must handle wisely.”
“When we feel like everything is up to us, momming is a lonely journey. We might quietly or secretly struggle to get by. One of the ways God works in us is through the people around us.”
“Home is the space where we begin the lifelong process of teaching, training, and maturing. So how we live in our homes matters. What a joy and honor it is that we get to give our kids the first taste of who God is.”
“Whether we are driven by hearts of fear or hearts of pride, we must stop comparing and competing if we want to experience the lives God has for us.”
“The pressures, expectations, stress, and loss of control that come along with being a mom can expose our hearts. More importantly, it exposes our need to run to God, the source of lasting change.”
The BookLook Blogger Program graciously provided a review copy of this encouraging book for me.
I receive Ruth’s encouraging emails every week. Her writing is so encouraging and helpful, I share her posts on my social media every chance I get. When The Better Mom was published, I eagerly awaited reading more from Ruth.
This book encourages moms of children who are still living at home. It’s written in a friendly, down-to-earth tone. The focus of this book is to affirm each mom’s struggles and encourage her faith in every one.
Read some of these chapter titles, and you’ll see what I mean:
This is What I Signed Up For?
I Miss My Friends!
I Hate This Stage of Life!
Motherhood Is Robbing Me Of ____
I Want to Make A Difference
Can you see how Ruth isn’t afraid to get real, just by these lines? She meets moms in the trenches and lifts them up. She doesn’t pretend that “momming” is easy, and she isn’t afraid to share her struggles. Ruth endured five miscarriages and plenty of other challenges in her momming experience. They equip her to be knowledgeable and wise in her advice-sharing. Young moms will especially appreciate Ruth’s candor and inspiration.
Favorite Quotes to Inspire Moms
“Children are like a payment we can receive joyfully–and one we must handle wisely.”
“When we feel like everything is up to us, momming is a lonely journey. We might quietly or secretly struggle to get by. One of the ways God works in us is through the people around us.”
“Home is the space where we begin the lifelong process of teaching, training, and maturing. So how we live in our homes matters. What a joy and honor it is that we get to give our kids the first taste of who God is.”
“Whether we are driven by hearts of fear or hearts of pride, we must stop comparing and competing if we want to experience the lives God has for us.”
“The pressures, expectations, stress, and loss of control that come along with being a mom can expose our hearts. More importantly, it exposes our need to run to God, the source of lasting change.”
The BookLook Blogger Program graciously provided a review copy of this encouraging book for me.
June 28, 2018
It doesn't take long for a mother to end up with a heaping helping of guilt and regret. In The Better Mom, author Ruth Schwenk, guides readers on a path of grace. Grace to face those times and moments when women are all too aware of their personal flaws and failings.
The subtitle "Growing in Grace between Perfection and the Mess" is a wonderful description. Oh how strong, that battle between the perfection we envision: obedient children, tidy home, healthy meals, a constantly cheerful disposition and the too-often-reality: misbehaving children, toys strewn everywhere, too many meals on the run and a deeply furrowed scowl that shows up with greater frequency. Ruth has been in those places of despair, exhaustion and disappointment that so many mothers experience. Ruth offers a sympathetic ear as well as an abundance of wisdom to help along the way.
Ruth tackles such common struggles as wanting a perfect home, not having time for oneself, missing friends, feeling unappreciated, and worrying about the future. Whether you are just bringing home your first baby or you are planning your youngest's graduation, you will find a message that gently points you to the Christ. He uses imperfect women to carry out the mission of motherhood and to help draw our children to Himself.
The Better Mom would make a wonderful selection for a Christian Women's Book Club, a neighborhood Bible Study or for a women's parenting group. You can read more of Ruth's thoughts on her blog, www.TheBetterMom.com. Pick up copies of this encouraging book for any mother who needs a hug and some encouragement along the way.
(Disclaimer: I received a free copy of The Better Mom from Handlebar Publishing for the purpose of review.)
The subtitle "Growing in Grace between Perfection and the Mess" is a wonderful description. Oh how strong, that battle between the perfection we envision: obedient children, tidy home, healthy meals, a constantly cheerful disposition and the too-often-reality: misbehaving children, toys strewn everywhere, too many meals on the run and a deeply furrowed scowl that shows up with greater frequency. Ruth has been in those places of despair, exhaustion and disappointment that so many mothers experience. Ruth offers a sympathetic ear as well as an abundance of wisdom to help along the way.
Ruth tackles such common struggles as wanting a perfect home, not having time for oneself, missing friends, feeling unappreciated, and worrying about the future. Whether you are just bringing home your first baby or you are planning your youngest's graduation, you will find a message that gently points you to the Christ. He uses imperfect women to carry out the mission of motherhood and to help draw our children to Himself.
The Better Mom would make a wonderful selection for a Christian Women's Book Club, a neighborhood Bible Study or for a women's parenting group. You can read more of Ruth's thoughts on her blog, www.TheBetterMom.com. Pick up copies of this encouraging book for any mother who needs a hug and some encouragement along the way.
(Disclaimer: I received a free copy of The Better Mom from Handlebar Publishing for the purpose of review.)
September 18, 2020
I felt so encouraged by Ruth’s words and stories. Being a mom is hard, messy and fulfilling. She uses encouragement yet is real- but not snotty sarcastic. She uses Gods truth to lift and even if your not a Christian, her encouragement doesn’t get lost in scripture but it’s truth anyone can carry in their hearts to be a better mom.
April 3, 2019
I really enjoyed this book. It was very encouraging as a pregnant mom with a 2.5 year old. My only “complaint” is how often the author uses the word “momming”. I listened to the audiobook and it got a little old. Other than that, it’s a great book!!
March 14, 2020
I would recommend this book to any mom in the trenches. It doesn’t have any earth shattering new revelations but when you are in the trenches you need reminded of how important our job is. This book does that. I would read it again.
May 22, 2018
This book is really for mom´s of toddlers and young kiddos. It is helpful but not all that helpful for older kid families.
March 25, 2019
Practical, well written, encouraging. I appreciate the author's inclusion of Bible passages
February 4, 2020
Well written easy to follow book. I enjoyed reading this book and gleaning the insight that is within it.
January 10, 2022
Excellent book about becoming a better mom - not a perfect mom - but taking time to embrace this current season and strive to live like Jesus. Highly recommend this one!
February 1, 2022
Amazing book! I want to recommend it to everyone. It really spoke to me in many aspects. 🥰🥰👏👏
June 28, 2022
This was an excellent book. I found it very helpful personally and will also use it in my practice as a therapist for those who have Christian views.
August 30, 2023
It was a good book, built on solid scripture. It wasn’t earth shattering as far as any pieces of nuggets, but it was still worth listening to. Be an intentional mom working on being a better mom.
March 12, 2024
There is a season for everything. Some seasons are easier to do more than be just a mom.
August 17, 2018
“In the middle of the messiness of momming, we need to embrace the mission of momming.”
Motherhood can be a struggle to all moms at some point. For some of us, it can be daily or even hourly. In The Better Mom, Ruth Schwenk explores how moms should search for grace to find a balance somewhere between perfection and a complete mess. The Better Momaims to encourage while sharing motherhood struggles and lessons learned from a Christian perspective.
I requested to review The Better Momthrough Handlebar, which sent me a free copy in exchange for a fair review. I had not heard of Ruth Schwenk before (her blog is TheBetterMom.com), but am always looking for books to encourage me on my journey as a wife, mother and Christian.
The Better Momis broken down into 19 chapters that deal with topics ranging from missing friends, finding time for yourself, worrying, failing, not feeling appreciated and wanting to make a difference. While she is fairly honest with some of her struggles, the lessons learned come quickly and seem fairly cookie-cutter Christian answers. The chapters seemed a little scattered and for some, it was hard to figure out what her main point was. It would have been nice to have questions to ponder and the end of the chapters to let the reader dig deeper and examine her own life. Also, among the Christian woman/motherhood books out there, there’s a new trend to be really honest with life struggles and the process of learning from them. This book doesn’t reach that far and I noticed it was missing and wished it had been there.
I would still recommend this to mothers looking for an easy read to inspire them, but there are also several other books out there that can help in the journey, too. Some that I would recommend are: In the Middle of the Mess by Shelia Walsh, The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst, The Gift from The Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh and Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist.
Read more here: http://sarahannecarter.com/the-better...
Motherhood can be a struggle to all moms at some point. For some of us, it can be daily or even hourly. In The Better Mom, Ruth Schwenk explores how moms should search for grace to find a balance somewhere between perfection and a complete mess. The Better Momaims to encourage while sharing motherhood struggles and lessons learned from a Christian perspective.
I requested to review The Better Momthrough Handlebar, which sent me a free copy in exchange for a fair review. I had not heard of Ruth Schwenk before (her blog is TheBetterMom.com), but am always looking for books to encourage me on my journey as a wife, mother and Christian.
The Better Momis broken down into 19 chapters that deal with topics ranging from missing friends, finding time for yourself, worrying, failing, not feeling appreciated and wanting to make a difference. While she is fairly honest with some of her struggles, the lessons learned come quickly and seem fairly cookie-cutter Christian answers. The chapters seemed a little scattered and for some, it was hard to figure out what her main point was. It would have been nice to have questions to ponder and the end of the chapters to let the reader dig deeper and examine her own life. Also, among the Christian woman/motherhood books out there, there’s a new trend to be really honest with life struggles and the process of learning from them. This book doesn’t reach that far and I noticed it was missing and wished it had been there.
I would still recommend this to mothers looking for an easy read to inspire them, but there are also several other books out there that can help in the journey, too. Some that I would recommend are: In the Middle of the Mess by Shelia Walsh, The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst, The Gift from The Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh and Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist.
Read more here: http://sarahannecarter.com/the-better...
May 24, 2025
I really enjoyed reading this book, each chapter was great & helpful from start to finish ☺
Majority of each title was exactly how I've felt since becoming a Mother & some topics still have me wondering the exact words "This is What I Signed Up For 🤔"
All in All, I Love Being A MoM & Truly Feel BLESSED Having My Son In My Life 😍🤗
Majority of each title was exactly how I've felt since becoming a Mother & some topics still have me wondering the exact words "This is What I Signed Up For 🤔"
All in All, I Love Being A MoM & Truly Feel BLESSED Having My Son In My Life 😍🤗
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