Daring to Love: Move Beyond Fear of Intimacy, Embrace Vulnerability, and Create Lasting Connection

by Tamsen Firestone, Robert W. Firestone

When it comes to finding love, are you standing in your own way? Daring to Love will help you identify the internal barriers that cause you to sabotage your love life, open yourself up to vulnerability, and build the intimate, lasting relationship you truly desire. After a breakup, most of us spend a lot of time thinking long and hard about what the other person did to cause it, rather than reflecting on ourselves. It seems self-evident that we want our romantic relationships to work, and that love and long-term commitment are our ultimate goals. But what if our desire for love is actually not as straightforward as our emotions make us believe? What if, instead of pursuing love, we are unconsciously pushing it away? In Daring to Love , Tamsen and Robert W. Firestone offer techniques based in Robert Firestone’s groundbreaking voice therapy—the process of giving spoken word to unhealthy patterns—to help you understand how you are getting in your own way on the quest for true love. Love, the Firestones argue, makes us vulnerable and triggers old defenses we formed in childhood, causing us to sabotage our relationships in myriad subtle—and not-so-subtle—ways. Using the voice therapy strategies in this book, you will be able to identify your own defensive patterns and uncover the destructive messages your critical inner voice is telling you about yourself, your partners, and your relationships. If you’re struggling to cultivate lasting relationships, this book can help you embark on your next romantic journey with more openness and self-knowledge.

Genres: Self Help, Relationships, Psychology, Nonfiction, Love, Communication

208 pages, Paperback

Published May 1, 2018

About the author

Tamsen Firestone is founder and editor-in-chief of www.psychalive .org, an online mental health resource visited by millions of people each year. She has also been principal editor for many of the books written by her husband, author and clinical psychologist Robert W. Firestone. Among these are Fear of Intimacy, Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, and The Fantasy Bond. Her work, including the PsychAlive website, speaks to the general public and provides easy-to-understand, practical steps that a person can follow to apply her husband’s theories of human behavior in order to experience a more rewarding and fulfilling life. Daring to Love is her latest endeavor in this effort. She lives in Santa Barbara, CA.

Reviews

[Becka Chester · Rating 5 out of 5]

A terrific book that helps those struggling with their closest relationships. I would recommend this book!!

[Geoffrey Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daring to Love is an extraordinarily eye-opening peek into the real reasons that people struggle in love relationships. I’ve been a psychologist for over 30 years, so I realize that what people usually believe about their relationships problems are misguided. Tamsen Firestone has captured what is really going on, and what we are actually up against. She identifies the early hurts and trauma that leave us reluctant to open up to loving, explains how we get in the way of what we say we want, and tells us what we need to do to experience the love that we truly crave. She explains all of this in straight-forward, practical ways, and offers lots of exercises that people can use to improve and deepen their relationships. Couples that read the book and work their way through the exercises will have found a sure-fire way to create a truly loving relationship. Tamsen and Bob Firestone have given another gift to our relationships. Enjoy!

[Maureen Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! As someone who has struggled in intimate relationships, I've been very interested in the work Robert Firestone and associates for many years. I have participated in the Glendon and PsychAlive workshops and found the basic theories of Firestone's work to be potent principles that interrupt some of my unwittingly self-destructive relationship behavior. I found Tamsen Firestone's book, Daring to Love, to be a refreshing NEW way to absorb the principles of Firestone' scholarly work on a visceral, easy to assimilate level. Through reading Daring To Love, I found concepts that always made sense to me on an intellectual level became living, breathing, tangible insights in my everyday awareness. This is having a good impact on my relationship and on all areas of my life, really. I recommend this book for anyone who has struggled to find, keep or tolerate loving relationships!

[Sofie · Rating 2 out of 5]

mentioned multiple times that refusing sex, even as an unconscious thing not meant to hurt your partner, hurts your partner. so the solution is... have sex even if you don't want to? obviously don't use sex as an ultimatum or punishment for your relationship, but surely i'm allowed to not be in the mood???

in one of the examples in the book, a guy's "critical inner voice" calls him a nerd. His response? "i am not a nerd!! you're wrong!!" as if 1) being a nerd is a bad thing (it's not) and 2) is the reason women don't want you (it's not)

[Tiffany Murphy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Daring to Love had a lot of really good information. We all say that we want to find love and long term relationships. But, we often sabotage our efforts because we’re afraid to truly let ourselves be vulnerable and let our loved ones truly get to know who we are on a deeper level. There are some really good suggestions on overcoming our fears and letting ourselves forge deeper relationships.

[Jennifer Conley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful

Simple and straightforward applications to correct your inner voice. Some sections led me to cry as I realized negative beliefs I held and corrected. Already changing my life.

[Kavita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comforting and reaffirming

Love and loving really are what life is about. This book explains the origins of self defeating behaviour and offers solutions to help you grow towards love.

[Nai]

DNF but enjoyed what I enjoyed!

[Scout Collins]

rtc

[Lisa LaPlaca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book easy to relate to and full of information I can apply to current situations. The author's previous and ongoing projects (principal editor on many of Robert Firestone's books and editor of www.psychalive.org) along with this latest project share many tools for all to (dis) arm ourselves with! Read, enjoy!