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Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad's Guide to the Second and Third Years
At what age should you introduce your child to computers? When and how should you go about drawing up a will? The day your child starts preschool, how will you cope with the pangs of adult separation anxiety? The answers to these questions and hundreds more are found in the pages of this information-packed volume. Author Armin Brott devotes a chapter to every three months of the second and third years. In each chapter, Brott charts the physical, intellectual, verbal, and emotional changes the child is going through and examines the emotional and psychological developments the father may be experiencing. He discusses issues that may develop between fathers and their partners as well as matters that involve the whole family. In addition, each chapter contains a section called 'You and Your Child,' in which activities and issues appropriate to the given age are discussed.
New topics in this revised and expanded edition cover the latest research on child development, including brain growth. There is more advice for dads who are older, single, or in the military; fathers of preemies and multiples; stepfathers; and stay-at-home dads. This new edition adds information on a wide range of subjects, from helping a child grieve over the loss of a relative or a pet to health and safety issues to care of special-needs children.
Incorporating the author's and other fathers' personal experiences, as well as the advice of top researchers in the field, and illustrated throughout with delightful New Yorker-style cartoons underscoring the universality of the joys and woes of parenting, A Dad's Guide to the Toddler Years is an essential sourcebook for every dad. It's certain to give every mom helpfulinsights as well.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
288 pages, Paperback
First published April 15, 2005
103 people are currently reading
176 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
January 6, 2019
Has some good dad advice sprinkled throughout and I would recommend to any toddler dad to read just to make sure they have all the critical bases covered. I have read each Admin Brott book available for the age my kids are at, unfortunately the older kids get, the wider the spectrum of behavior and personality qualities, and I think the less useful these books are becoming over time.
August 12, 2019
More than anything, this book served as an assurance that everything that is going on with my daughter (and all the amazing things she keeps on doing) and what we're experiencing as family at this stage (going crazy) is normal, and that we're (not yet) screwing things up.
August 4, 2021
Very detailed and informative. I enjoy in Armin Brott's books how he explains how your child might be acting at each particular phase in his development, as well as how you as a father might be acting at each particular phase in the child's development. I would sit with the wife and read off all of the examples of what a kid at this particular age might be doing or saying, and my wife would just say "yep....yep....yep."
February 10, 2021
Apie todlerius be išvedžiojimų, aiškiai ir linksmai. Turbūt geriausias autorius tėvystės kategorijoje.
March 11, 2021
Armin A. Brott's parenting books have given me the best actionable advice of any I've read. Not just for dads, a great guide to this wondrous period of childhood.
April 11, 2022
Every parent should read this, take notes, and be willing to learn. There is important Information about how a toddler develops, and tips for fathers on how to best guide that growth.
July 10, 2016
Nothing really wrong with this book, but I just didn't find as much novel, helpful advice here as in his earlier two books. Maybe it's just because kids' development starts to vary a lot more by this age range, so it doesn't quite line up with our experience, and we'd picked it up ourselves by the time I read this.
And I'm definitely lucky that our kid hasn't acted out (yet) in some of the horrible-sounding ways Brott covers, or shown the over-the-top fears mentioned here of drains & monsters & vacuums and such.
But I appreciated the reminder to figure out life insurance, and will and/or living trust, if you haven't yet.
Also there's good advice to help the child feel in-control by offering limited choices ("Raspberries or apples for dessert?") rather than open-ended ("What do you want for dessert?" "Cookie!" "Not today..." [power struggle]) or yes/no questions ("Do you want raspberries?" "No." "Okay, no dessert." [power struggle])
* p.87: Nice quote from Selma Fraiberg:
* p.110: Helpful breakdown / quiz of your child's temperament characteristics, with Sensitivity divided further into Emotional Sensitivity (does the baby feel own emotions strongly? is s/he sensitive to others' feelings?) and Sensory Awareness (sensitive to pain? touch? taste? smell? sound? vision/lights?). These are things you're broadly aware of, but it might help to make them explicit.
* p.119: "At this point it's almost impossible to tell the difference between your child's needs, your needs, and your partner's needs. In a perfect world they'd mutually reinforce one another. But on this planet, the three often compete for your time and energy." Amen!
* p.138: "Until now, your child learned about his world physically: he had to touch, feel, or taste things before he could truly understand them. But from here on out, language---questions, answers, explanations---begins to take over as his primary means of acquiring information." Nifty. Seems earlier than I'd have expected.
On the other hand, it was jarring to see Brott's total insistence on delayed potty training ("OMG you'll F- up your kid for life if you even consider trying too young!") ... vs the stats Brott gives on potty training ages 1-2 generations ago ("yep, they potty trained much earlier, no worries; we do it later now mostly because disposable diaper tech became so comfy that kids don't complain about soggy diapers as soon").
We haven't started that process ourselves yet, and I'm sure my views will be fine-tuned once we do. But right now, I can't understand why people are vehemently against (calmly trying) potty training at the earlier age when most kids successfully learned... in basically *every* era & place on Earth *except* the USA of the past 5 decades.
Finally, in a few spots, otherwise-sane advice was alternated with quotes from nutty-sounding psychiatrists. For example, p.149: When moms toilet-training a son try to help by holding the kid's penis, "your son may begin to question whether his penis belongs to him or to his mother, and that's just how serious sexual problems develop later in life." WTF? Maybe this is just meant to describe very very extreme cases... but c'mon, most of us are just doing our best to help a kid whiz without splashing.
And I'm definitely lucky that our kid hasn't acted out (yet) in some of the horrible-sounding ways Brott covers, or shown the over-the-top fears mentioned here of drains & monsters & vacuums and such.
But I appreciated the reminder to figure out life insurance, and will and/or living trust, if you haven't yet.
Also there's good advice to help the child feel in-control by offering limited choices ("Raspberries or apples for dessert?") rather than open-ended ("What do you want for dessert?" "Cookie!" "Not today..." [power struggle]) or yes/no questions ("Do you want raspberries?" "No." "Okay, no dessert." [power struggle])
* p.87: Nice quote from Selma Fraiberg:
The magician is seated in his high chair and looks upon the world with favor. He is at the height of his powers. If he closes his eyes, he causes the world to disappear. If he opens his eyes, he causes the world to come back. If there is harmony within him, the world is harmonious. If rage shatters his inner harmony, the unity of the world is shattered. If desire arises within him, he utters the magic syllables that causes the desired object to appear. His wishes, his thoughts, his gestures, his noises command the universe.
* p.110: Helpful breakdown / quiz of your child's temperament characteristics, with Sensitivity divided further into Emotional Sensitivity (does the baby feel own emotions strongly? is s/he sensitive to others' feelings?) and Sensory Awareness (sensitive to pain? touch? taste? smell? sound? vision/lights?). These are things you're broadly aware of, but it might help to make them explicit.
* p.119: "At this point it's almost impossible to tell the difference between your child's needs, your needs, and your partner's needs. In a perfect world they'd mutually reinforce one another. But on this planet, the three often compete for your time and energy." Amen!
* p.138: "Until now, your child learned about his world physically: he had to touch, feel, or taste things before he could truly understand them. But from here on out, language---questions, answers, explanations---begins to take over as his primary means of acquiring information." Nifty. Seems earlier than I'd have expected.
On the other hand, it was jarring to see Brott's total insistence on delayed potty training ("OMG you'll F- up your kid for life if you even consider trying too young!") ... vs the stats Brott gives on potty training ages 1-2 generations ago ("yep, they potty trained much earlier, no worries; we do it later now mostly because disposable diaper tech became so comfy that kids don't complain about soggy diapers as soon").
We haven't started that process ourselves yet, and I'm sure my views will be fine-tuned once we do. But right now, I can't understand why people are vehemently against (calmly trying) potty training at the earlier age when most kids successfully learned... in basically *every* era & place on Earth *except* the USA of the past 5 decades.
Finally, in a few spots, otherwise-sane advice was alternated with quotes from nutty-sounding psychiatrists. For example, p.149: When moms toilet-training a son try to help by holding the kid's penis, "your son may begin to question whether his penis belongs to him or to his mother, and that's just how serious sexual problems develop later in life." WTF? Maybe this is just meant to describe very very extreme cases... but c'mon, most of us are just doing our best to help a kid whiz without splashing.
December 9, 2023
Fathering Your Toddler is fine, I guess. Maybe better than fine, since it actually has good advice for taking care of your kid, your relationship, and your self. Though every kid is different, and I didn't find it that applicable to my issues.
March 3, 2013
Like his previous books I've been following along in this book as Mer has developed. Now that we are past the initial developmental milestones of "babyhood," this remain developmentally disjointed but interestingly there are sometimes areas where Mer is right on track or ahead of the pack. Every child is unique and reading about typical milestones reminds me of that constantly. I still really cherish the opening section of each chapter and found the additional topics in this one to be at least mildly interesting. Brott is definitely my go-to for fathering information if for no other reason than I like his liberal perspective. I'll be reading the next one but since it covers age 3 - 9, you won't be seeing a review for quite some time. I hope Goodreads is still around when I finish that book!
September 30, 2024
Another Tool for the Father Tool Chest
Learned a bunch from this book. Learned that my daughter's actions are normal, even if they should require a straight jacket and padded room. Learned that its normal for me to want a that jacket and padded room to myself. I struggle to get on the same wavelength when entertaining my child, as I am someone who can follow along during playtime, but struggle leading and creating games to play. Also learned some milestone to try and reach, that I hadn't really even thought of. Just by reading this book I feel better prepared to help my daughter grow into a confident young girl
Learned a bunch from this book. Learned that my daughter's actions are normal, even if they should require a straight jacket and padded room. Learned that its normal for me to want a that jacket and padded room to myself. I struggle to get on the same wavelength when entertaining my child, as I am someone who can follow along during playtime, but struggle leading and creating games to play. Also learned some milestone to try and reach, that I hadn't really even thought of. Just by reading this book I feel better prepared to help my daughter grow into a confident young girl
May 18, 2008
I love this series of books. Finally, parenting books that don't treat dads like neanderthals that would rather get drunk with their college buddies than EVER change a diaper or help out with their child.
I only read about half of this, since it's arranged by age and the kid had already passed through most of the phases. I do now have Fathering Your School-Age Child (ages 3-9), so I can read that as he grows.
I only read about half of this, since it's arranged by age and the kid had already passed through most of the phases. I do now have Fathering Your School-Age Child (ages 3-9), so I can read that as he grows.
July 6, 2012
Just like its predecessors, this is a no-nonsense advice book that goes right to the heart of what it is to be a father. The author's humor and straightforwardness about topics that are sometimes uncomfortable or worrisome to fathers both old and new was greatly appreciated.
I would definitely recommend this book.
I would definitely recommend this book.
October 14, 2014
This is yet another good read by Armin Brott who gives a guys perspective to parenting. He brings a good sense of humor and anecdotal stories that helped me realize that there was someone else out there that went through the same things that I'm going through now.
July 8, 2014
Not a bad read but not as strong as his newborn book. Still appreciate the "father" focus.
July 6, 2016
Pretty basic and common send info...not nearly as helpful as The Expectant Father, which was excellent.
December 28, 2019
More useful information
The first book was great. This book also has a lot of useful info, but seems to have more filler material.
The first book was great. This book also has a lot of useful info, but seems to have more filler material.
April 10, 2014
Useful, if not perfect...
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews