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Real Vampires #4
Real Vampires Don't Diet
Gloriana St. Claire-curvy, stylish, and undead-is spending New Year's Eve alone. And it's all because her boyfriend, Jeremy Blade, is traipsing off to parts unknown to rescue his supposed daughter from the clutches of "dangerous radicals." But just as Glory settles in for the evening, a phone call from the bodyguard of a drunk, newly-undead rock star could end her year on a crazy note.
344 pages, Paperback
First published January 6, 2009
19 people are currently reading
1338 people want to read
About the author
Gerry Bartlett
32 books916 followersGerry Bartlett figures that vampires are pretty much like everyone else except for the liquid diet.
Eternity or Mexican food? Tough call.
Gerry’s a native Texan and lives halfway between Houston and Galveston. Pictured with her is her late wonder dog, a Bedlington Terrier named Belle.
When she started writing, she was still teaching and used the pseudonym Lynn McKay. You can probably still find her historical and two romantic suspense books for a penny on-line. Now that she’s no longer in the classroom and discovered the fun of writing about vampires, she uses her real name. Too bad some people think Gerry is a boy's name or short for Geraldine. No, it's not. Really.
She's still writing her Real Vampires series but is back to romantic suspense and contemporaries. Her Texas Heat series starts in Houston, her home town. Then there's her Lone Star Suspense series set in Austin where she went to the University of Texas. She loves the hill country there and brought some of her favorite characters from the Texas Heat series to Austin for the fast-paced suspense in the three books in that series.
You can check out Gerry’s website at gerrybartlett.com to find her blog and articles for writers. Her Perils of Publishing gives the scoop on what happens once "the call" comes. Oh, did you think it would be all roses and champagne? Well, of course it is.
When Gerry's not writing, she's treasure hunting for her antiques business in Alvin. Her favorite finds? Vintage purses and jewelry. It's a struggle not to keep it all. Be sure to sign up for her newsletter for the latest info about her books at http://ymlp.com/xgeyeewwgmgw
Eternity or Mexican food? Tough call.
Gerry’s a native Texan and lives halfway between Houston and Galveston. Pictured with her is her late wonder dog, a Bedlington Terrier named Belle.
When she started writing, she was still teaching and used the pseudonym Lynn McKay. You can probably still find her historical and two romantic suspense books for a penny on-line. Now that she’s no longer in the classroom and discovered the fun of writing about vampires, she uses her real name. Too bad some people think Gerry is a boy's name or short for Geraldine. No, it's not. Really.
She's still writing her Real Vampires series but is back to romantic suspense and contemporaries. Her Texas Heat series starts in Houston, her home town. Then there's her Lone Star Suspense series set in Austin where she went to the University of Texas. She loves the hill country there and brought some of her favorite characters from the Texas Heat series to Austin for the fast-paced suspense in the three books in that series.
You can check out Gerry’s website at gerrybartlett.com to find her blog and articles for writers. Her Perils of Publishing gives the scoop on what happens once "the call" comes. Oh, did you think it would be all roses and champagne? Well, of course it is.
When Gerry's not writing, she's treasure hunting for her antiques business in Alvin. Her favorite finds? Vintage purses and jewelry. It's a struggle not to keep it all. Be sure to sign up for her newsletter for the latest info about her books at http://ymlp.com/xgeyeewwgmgw
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 85 reviews
May 25, 2015
This was the fourth installment of the series and several times it felt more like the Perfect Storm instead of the usual fare of Glory St. Clair adventure. I enjoyed parts of it and other parts I found tedious.
My first encounter with Glory didn't leave a good impression as she waffled about her relationships, she whined about her body, and she went about making stupid moves. I thought we had moved away from that in the last few stories, but yet, here we were again. Glory spent most of the book doing the double-standard thing between Jerry and Ray. It was okay for her to string along Ray because it was all in his best interest and it was okay to force Jerry to accept it for same best interest while all along she resents even a whiff of anything between Jerry and Mara and she admits that she has some interest in Ray. Glory had help getting into trouble in this one, but her decisions complicated things. This was a whole lot of have your cake and eat it too.
Now, I had to rant a bit because I was annoyed, but in truth, Glory stays true to Jerry in the truest sense and while she feels physical attraction to Ray and likes him, it's as a friend. She loves Jerry. And as I said, she had a lot of help getting into trouble in this one with the encounter with a Siren who forces their cooperation to help her or they die. Westwood is back in town, Jerry's maybe daughter brought lethal friends, the EV vamps are still a menace, and the paparazzi just won't give them a break. Things got exciting and it took some juggling and some luck for the gang to all sail through only slightly singed.
There were some fun reveals in this one and one major story arc was completed. Finally Glory gets to see Valdez in the flesh and get the truth on if Jerry fathered a child. Oh, and for those of us who need our Jerry fix, he and Glory get a couple of really steamy scenes. Whew boy, yeah!
So, all in all, this was a good installment and I look forward to further adventures with Glory and the gang. Urban Fantasy fans who like things on the lighter, more humorous side should give these a try.
My first encounter with Glory didn't leave a good impression as she waffled about her relationships, she whined about her body, and she went about making stupid moves. I thought we had moved away from that in the last few stories, but yet, here we were again. Glory spent most of the book doing the double-standard thing between Jerry and Ray. It was okay for her to string along Ray because it was all in his best interest and it was okay to force Jerry to accept it for same best interest while all along she resents even a whiff of anything between Jerry and Mara and she admits that she has some interest in Ray. Glory had help getting into trouble in this one, but her decisions complicated things. This was a whole lot of have your cake and eat it too.
Now, I had to rant a bit because I was annoyed, but in truth, Glory stays true to Jerry in the truest sense and while she feels physical attraction to Ray and likes him, it's as a friend. She loves Jerry. And as I said, she had a lot of help getting into trouble in this one with the encounter with a Siren who forces their cooperation to help her or they die. Westwood is back in town, Jerry's maybe daughter brought lethal friends, the EV vamps are still a menace, and the paparazzi just won't give them a break. Things got exciting and it took some juggling and some luck for the gang to all sail through only slightly singed.
There were some fun reveals in this one and one major story arc was completed. Finally Glory gets to see Valdez in the flesh and get the truth on if Jerry fathered a child. Oh, and for those of us who need our Jerry fix, he and Glory get a couple of really steamy scenes. Whew boy, yeah!
So, all in all, this was a good installment and I look forward to further adventures with Glory and the gang. Urban Fantasy fans who like things on the lighter, more humorous side should give these a try.
March 19, 2014
Major question that goes unanswered ever... if she can shapeshift, WHY DOES SHE JUST NOT SHAPESHIFT INTO SOMEONE SKINNIER? If it bothers her soooooooooooo much that people make fun of her weight constantly, then make yourself skinnier. I can't believe someone who can shapeshift into "anything" can't shapeshift out of a size 12.
April 17, 2009
I really love Glory and Ray's dynamic in this book. Their chemistry is amazing. Almost makes me want Glory to end up with Ray, but she is totally meant to be with Blade. Even though he hurts her pretty bad in this book (and he had good reason to react the way he did to her being half naked with Ray, although nothign happened) their "make-up" sex is pretty hot and she truly does love Blade. My only beef with these books is that the storylines are pretty lame. But at least the good characters make up for it. However, once again, the ending was kinda ho hum. There is all this build up and then nothing happens. Or stuff happens but you don't hear about it until later. And then important things, like Glory killing Westwood, is sort of tossed aside as an after thought. But overall, entertianing. I would love to see this turned into a series and see who they would cast for the roles.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 9, 2015
I love this series!! Summed up in 3 words: Sultry, funny & entertaining! I love Valdez he is my favorite by far. His quirky attitude makes him so hilarious. Glory is very funny & down to earth. I love that Bartlett made her a thick woman too! This has become one of my favorite vampire series. I haven't read the books in order and I haven't been lost. Bartlett does a great job in summarizing some of the backgrounds between the characters.
March 12, 2015
Okay... there was just entirely too much going on in this book for me. I read the first book in the series a while ago and truly enjoyed it. But as the series has progressed, I've liked it less and less. Glory used to be a character that I admired. I loved that she was a "heavier set" lady (even though I'd HARDLY call a size 12 heavy). But as time has gone on, she annoyingly harps on herself.
*Slight soap box moment*
Nothing irritates me more than when an author writes a female character as a heavy set woman and sucks all of the self-confidence and self-worth out of her. They always write them to have self-doubt and low self-esteem and spend chapters of an otherwise worthy story using it as an excuse to constantly drone on with fat shaming jokes and comments. Is it truly so hard to believe that a "fat" woman can't just be happy with who she is? It is inconceivable to believe that she can live a normal life like anyone else regardless of her size? Sorry for the rant, but it's so infuriating!
Aside from that, the book was okay. It had a lot going on in it, which was at times a little overwhelming, but the core of the story was solid. The author created a lot of scenarios that kept me wanting to read on, and I did enjoy that aspect of the book.
Overall, I think that the author should spend less time making her main character someone I don't want to spend time with, and more time on expanding on this creative world she's built.
Reviewed by Marie for Cocktails and Books
*Slight soap box moment*
Nothing irritates me more than when an author writes a female character as a heavy set woman and sucks all of the self-confidence and self-worth out of her. They always write them to have self-doubt and low self-esteem and spend chapters of an otherwise worthy story using it as an excuse to constantly drone on with fat shaming jokes and comments. Is it truly so hard to believe that a "fat" woman can't just be happy with who she is? It is inconceivable to believe that she can live a normal life like anyone else regardless of her size? Sorry for the rant, but it's so infuriating!
Aside from that, the book was okay. It had a lot going on in it, which was at times a little overwhelming, but the core of the story was solid. The author created a lot of scenarios that kept me wanting to read on, and I did enjoy that aspect of the book.
Overall, I think that the author should spend less time making her main character someone I don't want to spend time with, and more time on expanding on this creative world she's built.
Reviewed by Marie for Cocktails and Books
August 21, 2018
This was the first one of the "real vampires" book that I picked up at a local bookstore. I fell in love with Gloriana's character and searched for more. Sadly most of her books are normally 14.99 on kindle. However I found a couple were discounted on Amazon recently and I purchased 4 books at books again (friends of the library bookstore) so I am set for my summer vamp fix. Lol.
September 2, 2020
Glory is dumber than a box of rocks. She makes decisions without a thought in that pretty little "size 12" head of hers. She also jumps to conclusions that don't necessarily make sense (for instance, that Simon would never hurt her as long as she's under Ray's protection). Maybe Blade and Ray should just give up on the airheaded Glory and date each other...or ANYBODY ELSE!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 9, 2020
Read it in 1 day I can say I like it. 😁
December 18, 2025
Cute read with some Xrated stuff. Love the plot and characters. Great read, Just don't let your kids read it.
July 15, 2014
I keep telling myself that my reviews are getting too long and that I should shorten them, but there are so many things I want to say, that it's too hard to do. So here's another one.
*Spoilers after next paragraph*
How in the world does Glory get herself into these messes? Jerry should have stayed in town and kept a better eye on her. First her new protégée/fake BF gets drunk on New Year’s Eve and loses his voice just before a special appearance at the Grammy’s. Then they are blackmailed into providing Aggie, who’s a siren, with three male vampires for her mistress: Circe. And Circe wants Damian/Casanova. If she doesn’t get him and two other hunky vamps, she’s going to take Glory, Ray and Will instead.
It bugs me that Glory gets so upset when Jerry has to go off somewhere with Mara, though leaving at the last minute on New Year’s Eve isn’t cool. But then while he’s gone, she sure doesn’t try very hard to keep ‘loyal’ to him. Seems like she has a bit of a double standard and doesn’t think things through in her ‘relationships’ with other guys. She is such a hypocritical two-timer in this one I almost hate her. And she was so nice in the first books.
I was hoping Jerry would punish her for a least a hundred years. But I’m glad they made up, since I really like them together. Even though he has a Scottish temper, you can tell that Jerry really loves Glory, just by the fact that he keeps getting her out of jams and forgiving her. After this book though, I’m not sure she deserves him. Now if Ray would just get out of the picture. I do feel sorry for Glory with all the water dunking’s and clothing changes. Especially since she hates water and loves to dress fashionably.
Having Lily in the story is going to be interesting, especially since she doesn’t like her mother either. And her boyfriend, Dracula, and his two buddies are loose cannon, but very cool. I’m glad they got Westwood. But Glory’s gang still have Simon to worry about.
Wow. There’s so many different people and factions at Ray’s party, I had to struggle to remember who was who and what they were doing there and how they fit into Glory’s plans. It was so confusing that I couldn’t pay as much attention to the action line as I’d liked. But it was hilarious. I bet Glory and her gang are glad it’s over. And in such an electrically flamboyant way.
Thoughts. 1)Is Aggie going to be around now? Not sure how I feel about that.
2)Flo and Richard are so cute together. He’s so patient with her moods.
3)I hope they drop the whole blueberry thing. It’s too corny and it’s not needed for the story. Besides how many blueberry muffins, etc. can Valdez eat? (Don’t answer that.)
4)And what’s with Simon’s chocolate? I kept expecting something to happen with that. Maybe he’s just waiting.
Fave scenes: Glory and Ray captured by Aggie, the 1890’s New Orleans ‘visit’, Barry and the dumpster and the house fire.
*Spoilers after next paragraph*
How in the world does Glory get herself into these messes? Jerry should have stayed in town and kept a better eye on her. First her new protégée/fake BF gets drunk on New Year’s Eve and loses his voice just before a special appearance at the Grammy’s. Then they are blackmailed into providing Aggie, who’s a siren, with three male vampires for her mistress: Circe. And Circe wants Damian/Casanova. If she doesn’t get him and two other hunky vamps, she’s going to take Glory, Ray and Will instead.
It bugs me that Glory gets so upset when Jerry has to go off somewhere with Mara, though leaving at the last minute on New Year’s Eve isn’t cool. But then while he’s gone, she sure doesn’t try very hard to keep ‘loyal’ to him. Seems like she has a bit of a double standard and doesn’t think things through in her ‘relationships’ with other guys. She is such a hypocritical two-timer in this one I almost hate her. And she was so nice in the first books.
I was hoping Jerry would punish her for a least a hundred years. But I’m glad they made up, since I really like them together. Even though he has a Scottish temper, you can tell that Jerry really loves Glory, just by the fact that he keeps getting her out of jams and forgiving her. After this book though, I’m not sure she deserves him. Now if Ray would just get out of the picture. I do feel sorry for Glory with all the water dunking’s and clothing changes. Especially since she hates water and loves to dress fashionably.
Having Lily in the story is going to be interesting, especially since she doesn’t like her mother either. And her boyfriend, Dracula, and his two buddies are loose cannon, but very cool. I’m glad they got Westwood. But Glory’s gang still have Simon to worry about.
Wow. There’s so many different people and factions at Ray’s party, I had to struggle to remember who was who and what they were doing there and how they fit into Glory’s plans. It was so confusing that I couldn’t pay as much attention to the action line as I’d liked. But it was hilarious. I bet Glory and her gang are glad it’s over. And in such an electrically flamboyant way.
Thoughts. 1)Is Aggie going to be around now? Not sure how I feel about that.
2)Flo and Richard are so cute together. He’s so patient with her moods.
3)I hope they drop the whole blueberry thing. It’s too corny and it’s not needed for the story. Besides how many blueberry muffins, etc. can Valdez eat? (Don’t answer that.)
4)And what’s with Simon’s chocolate? I kept expecting something to happen with that. Maybe he’s just waiting.
Fave scenes: Glory and Ray captured by Aggie, the 1890’s New Orleans ‘visit’, Barry and the dumpster and the house fire.
May 21, 2010
Real Vampires Don’t Diet, the 4th book in Gerry Bartlett’s Glory St. Clair series, is a good continuation of Glory’s adventure filled life. On New Year’s Eve, Glory has been left with no plans and nothing to do. She resigns herself to a dull evening when she gets a call from rock star and newbie vampire, Israel “Ray” Caine. It seems that he’s been drinking, and vampires and alcohol do not mix. Being the kind, caring person that she is, Glory heads off to Ray’s lakefront house to save him from himself. As the evening progresses, Glory finds herself alone with Ray on his boat in the middle of the lake. Things only go downhill for them from there because they have an encounter with a powerful creature that needs help and has no problem coercing Glory and Ray to help.
The plot is fun and suspenseful, but it’s light and doesn’t require any deep thought. It moves fairly quickly leaving no room to get bored, but not so fast as to feel rushed. I enjoyed how Bartlett weaves in humor throughout the novel. Glory’s inner monologue cracks me up, but is also full of comments that all women can relate to on some level. This novel explored Glory’s universe more revealing new creatures and mythology which could play a role in upcoming novels.
After reading Real Vampires get Lucky, the 3rd book in the series, I was left wanting more of Ray Caine. This book delivered on that front because a significant portion of the plot involves him, so the reader will get a nice glimpse of his lifestyle post-vampire transformation. Glory is as delightful as ever. Every woman will be able to see a part of herself in Glory whether it’s in her insecurities, sense of humor, or spunky attitude. Real Vampires Don’t Diet catches up with many characters from past novels.
This novel definitely had its steamy moments, but I’m starting to feel like Glory’s love life is becoming a little too routine. There are a few potential love interests that I would like to see Bartlett pursue for Glory. Every time I think Glory is going to change it up a little, things don’t work out the way I’d hoped. The romance in this novel was a bit predictable and familiar as a result.
I’d recommend this novel for those who have read the first 3 in the series. Despite my small complaint, I still plan to read upcoming novels in the series because the potential for some new and exciting romantic changes are there. Also, the ending of this novel makes me think that Gerry Bartlett has some very fun things planned for the next novel.
The plot is fun and suspenseful, but it’s light and doesn’t require any deep thought. It moves fairly quickly leaving no room to get bored, but not so fast as to feel rushed. I enjoyed how Bartlett weaves in humor throughout the novel. Glory’s inner monologue cracks me up, but is also full of comments that all women can relate to on some level. This novel explored Glory’s universe more revealing new creatures and mythology which could play a role in upcoming novels.
After reading Real Vampires get Lucky, the 3rd book in the series, I was left wanting more of Ray Caine. This book delivered on that front because a significant portion of the plot involves him, so the reader will get a nice glimpse of his lifestyle post-vampire transformation. Glory is as delightful as ever. Every woman will be able to see a part of herself in Glory whether it’s in her insecurities, sense of humor, or spunky attitude. Real Vampires Don’t Diet catches up with many characters from past novels.
This novel definitely had its steamy moments, but I’m starting to feel like Glory’s love life is becoming a little too routine. There are a few potential love interests that I would like to see Bartlett pursue for Glory. Every time I think Glory is going to change it up a little, things don’t work out the way I’d hoped. The romance in this novel was a bit predictable and familiar as a result.
I’d recommend this novel for those who have read the first 3 in the series. Despite my small complaint, I still plan to read upcoming novels in the series because the potential for some new and exciting romantic changes are there. Also, the ending of this novel makes me think that Gerry Bartlett has some very fun things planned for the next novel.
September 10, 2010
In the fourth book of the series, Gloriana St. Claire is back and, as always, in trouble. Jerry has left to search for his presumed daughter, Lily, in England. Glory is left in the care of Labradoodle shifter, Valdez, and newly made vamp, Ray Caine. This book was light and funny, typical of the writing style the author has used in the previous books. Most of the action takes place at Ray’s leased home on Lake Travis in Austin, TX. Ray and Glory are captured by a siren turned sea monster and forced to bring her three hot male vampires in exchange for keeping them from the fires of Circe’s hell. Glory worries that they won’t be able to pull of the exchange in time as they only have three weeks to fulfill the duty. She cooks up a plan to get closer to the EVs (Energy Vampires) in order to lure them to Ray’s home and the lake in the hopes of serving them up to Aggie the siren. What resonates is a chaotic series of events that lands Glory “engaged” to Ray and Jerry fuming because she left him out of the loop.
As always, Glory is very entertaining with her “I have fat thighs” attitude about herself. She still cannot recognize that she has two, sometimes three, hot male vamps after her affections. Let’s count them shall we. One, Jeremy Blade, long life lover and maker of Glory. Two, Israel Caine, rock star socialite who is infatuated with Glory for reasons she cannot understand at the moment. And sometimes three, Damian Sabitini, who is just in love with women and general and will hit on practically anything with a skirt. In my opinion, Jeremy Blade is good for Glory, but he can be overly controlling much of the time. If he would learn to let Glory be an independent woman he would be a perfect match. Israel Caine is to die for. He’s got the looks, the voice, and the understanding. He doesn’t try to control Glory and they read one another like a book. She is devilishly attracted to him. In my opinion, he’s the perfect guy. I would have dropped Blade long ago. All I can say about Damian is to stay very far away. He reeks of the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. I would avoid him at all costs and that is exactly what Glory does.
The story line for this book was great. It was different than many of the other paranormal books that I’ve read before. The introduction of the goddess, the god, and the siren was an interesting twist. Above all it was a fun and light read. It was just as enjoyable to read as the first three books in the series and I can’t wait to dive into book number five.
As always, Glory is very entertaining with her “I have fat thighs” attitude about herself. She still cannot recognize that she has two, sometimes three, hot male vamps after her affections. Let’s count them shall we. One, Jeremy Blade, long life lover and maker of Glory. Two, Israel Caine, rock star socialite who is infatuated with Glory for reasons she cannot understand at the moment. And sometimes three, Damian Sabitini, who is just in love with women and general and will hit on practically anything with a skirt. In my opinion, Jeremy Blade is good for Glory, but he can be overly controlling much of the time. If he would learn to let Glory be an independent woman he would be a perfect match. Israel Caine is to die for. He’s got the looks, the voice, and the understanding. He doesn’t try to control Glory and they read one another like a book. She is devilishly attracted to him. In my opinion, he’s the perfect guy. I would have dropped Blade long ago. All I can say about Damian is to stay very far away. He reeks of the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. I would avoid him at all costs and that is exactly what Glory does.
The story line for this book was great. It was different than many of the other paranormal books that I’ve read before. The introduction of the goddess, the god, and the siren was an interesting twist. Above all it was a fun and light read. It was just as enjoyable to read as the first three books in the series and I can’t wait to dive into book number five.
January 26, 2011
Plot Summary: Gloriana (Glory) St. Claire the curvy, stylish, and undead owner of Vintage Vamp's Emporium is spending New Year's Eve alone. That's because Jeremy Blade (Angus Jermiah Campbell III), is traipsing off to parts unknown to rescue his supposed daughter Lily from the clutches of "dangerous radicals." (Calls himself, yep, Dracula!) But just as Glory settles in for the evening, a phone call from the bodyguard of a drunk, newly-undead rock star Israel "Ray" Caine could end her year on a crazy note.
Ray encourages Glory to go for a boat ride with her on Lake Travis (Austin, Texas), which leads to an encounter with a Siren named Aglaophonos (Aggie) who is being forced to collect (3) vampire's and bring them back to her boss Circe, Goddess of the Night. Glory and Ray are allowed 3 weeks to collect these vampires, or they will spend the rest of their time with Circe.
Glory has other worries as well. Brent Westwood, the billionaire vampire hunter is back in town after spending time away in Europe on the run, and he really wants Glory dead. If you remember, Glory embarassed him at Damian's christmas party, which lead to Blade slicing his arm.
Then comes the Glory aka Save the Blueberry fan club, shows up asking for personal information from Glory. In turn, Victoria tries to steal Valdez, her labradoodle, shape-shifting bodyguard.
Aggie wants a vampire named Casanova; yes, that Casanova, who is supposed to be a vampire and who Florence (Flo) da Vinci once had a sexual encounter with. Flo, is married now to Richard Mainwaring, but wnats a real wedding with lots of people.
Glory and Ray decide to get rid of Simon Destiny once and for-all, and give him to Circe. They end up going to his compound with Flo and Richard. Oh by the way, Ray and Glory are engaged. Not really, but in order to the ploy to work, Ray buys her a huge diamond ring and announces it to the world.
The book ends with Ray and Glory on the way to the Grammy's, which lead to Glory meeting a very old vampire who has a cure for vampire weight loss.
Disappointment: Westwood was there, then he wasn't. UGH!
Ray encourages Glory to go for a boat ride with her on Lake Travis (Austin, Texas), which leads to an encounter with a Siren named Aglaophonos (Aggie) who is being forced to collect (3) vampire's and bring them back to her boss Circe, Goddess of the Night. Glory and Ray are allowed 3 weeks to collect these vampires, or they will spend the rest of their time with Circe.
Glory has other worries as well. Brent Westwood, the billionaire vampire hunter is back in town after spending time away in Europe on the run, and he really wants Glory dead. If you remember, Glory embarassed him at Damian's christmas party, which lead to Blade slicing his arm.
Then comes the Glory aka Save the Blueberry fan club, shows up asking for personal information from Glory. In turn, Victoria tries to steal Valdez, her labradoodle, shape-shifting bodyguard.
Aggie wants a vampire named Casanova; yes, that Casanova, who is supposed to be a vampire and who Florence (Flo) da Vinci once had a sexual encounter with. Flo, is married now to Richard Mainwaring, but wnats a real wedding with lots of people.
Glory and Ray decide to get rid of Simon Destiny once and for-all, and give him to Circe. They end up going to his compound with Flo and Richard. Oh by the way, Ray and Glory are engaged. Not really, but in order to the ploy to work, Ray buys her a huge diamond ring and announces it to the world.
The book ends with Ray and Glory on the way to the Grammy's, which lead to Glory meeting a very old vampire who has a cure for vampire weight loss.
Disappointment: Westwood was there, then he wasn't. UGH!
January 7, 2011
This was the worst installment of this series so far. I was enjoying Glory and the Blade/Jeremy. I have really come to like Flo and Richard, Valdez and even Damian. But I think this book has made me realize that I really don't like series which are centered on one woman's romance throughout multiple books. There are a few Series where it's been done ok, but all this back and forth between Jerry and her claim that she can't love someone because that means she will loose her independence - and the stuff with Israel/Ray... can't stand it. Not to mention, Glory comes across in this book as the most self-centered, selfish, witless, powerless, superficial, dummy. Worse then any of these series. And Jerry is one of the guys who throughout the series I can't really fault him for much of anything yet he gets the brunt end of all of Glory's crap. I really like the books with a strong heroine, not a whiney little baby - which is sooooo Glory in this book. I would skip the next except I read a review where the reviewer notes that Glory finally figures out what she wants. Let's hope so or the next will be my last in this series.
Plot for those interested: Glory needs to keep up her sham engagement to rock star Israel Caine. So, she heads with him to LA for the Grammys. She also meets a vamp who claims he can help her loose weight. So, all those curves that she's always been so proud of - hell with them, she's going for the diet no matter how much harm it might do her. She continues to lie to Jerry all along the way. and she does the whole, Ray no Jerry no Ray no Jerry flip flopping throughout the book. Turns out the vamp with the miracle cure is a mortal enemy of Jerry's clan. There's promise with the effects the potion has on Glory, but the author doesn't use those effects to any advantage. Glory goes to the Grammys and I won't spoil the end except to say the next book will be back in Texas.
Plot for those interested: Glory needs to keep up her sham engagement to rock star Israel Caine. So, she heads with him to LA for the Grammys. She also meets a vamp who claims he can help her loose weight. So, all those curves that she's always been so proud of - hell with them, she's going for the diet no matter how much harm it might do her. She continues to lie to Jerry all along the way. and she does the whole, Ray no Jerry no Ray no Jerry flip flopping throughout the book. Turns out the vamp with the miracle cure is a mortal enemy of Jerry's clan. There's promise with the effects the potion has on Glory, but the author doesn't use those effects to any advantage. Glory goes to the Grammys and I won't spoil the end except to say the next book will be back in Texas.
March 10, 2011
Synopsis From: http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/b/g...
Gloriana St. Claire - curvy, stylish, and undead - is spending New Year's Eve alone. And it's all because her boyfriend, Jeremy Blade, is traipsing off to parts unknown to rescue his supposed daughter from the clutches of 'dangerous radicals.' But just as Glory settles in for the evening, a phone call from the bodyguard of a drunk, newly-undead rock star could end her year on a crazy note.
The Review:
The book opens with Jerry leaving to go chase after his could-be daughter. So yes, it was a noble adventure and all, but why did it have to happen on New Years? What can Glory do, pout? Nope, she’s a big girl and decides to check out a few chick-flicks to pass the night away.
Little did Glory know that her protégé would decide, against her advice, that New Years Eve was the night to see for himself if he could drink alcohol with out ill effect. Reality sets in while the two take a boat out on Lake Travis where they are drawn to the siren Aggie who, having angered the Goddess Circe, entraps the two of them into paying her penance by providing three other vampires for ritual sacrifice.
As the fourth book in the series, the story just keeps getting better. It throws in just the right amount of humor, quirky banter, and adventure. Glory could be anybody’s best friend. Gerry Bartlett makes you feel like you’re joining up with a group of friends. As long as she keeps putting out the books, I will keep reading them.
Gloriana St. Claire - curvy, stylish, and undead - is spending New Year's Eve alone. And it's all because her boyfriend, Jeremy Blade, is traipsing off to parts unknown to rescue his supposed daughter from the clutches of 'dangerous radicals.' But just as Glory settles in for the evening, a phone call from the bodyguard of a drunk, newly-undead rock star could end her year on a crazy note.
The Review:
The book opens with Jerry leaving to go chase after his could-be daughter. So yes, it was a noble adventure and all, but why did it have to happen on New Years? What can Glory do, pout? Nope, she’s a big girl and decides to check out a few chick-flicks to pass the night away.
Little did Glory know that her protégé would decide, against her advice, that New Years Eve was the night to see for himself if he could drink alcohol with out ill effect. Reality sets in while the two take a boat out on Lake Travis where they are drawn to the siren Aggie who, having angered the Goddess Circe, entraps the two of them into paying her penance by providing three other vampires for ritual sacrifice.
As the fourth book in the series, the story just keeps getting better. It throws in just the right amount of humor, quirky banter, and adventure. Glory could be anybody’s best friend. Gerry Bartlett makes you feel like you’re joining up with a group of friends. As long as she keeps putting out the books, I will keep reading them.
December 27, 2014
Glory St. Clare is at it again in Real Vampires Don't Diet. Glory is a vampire that was turned about 400 years ago. She is no your typical vampire. She doesn't like to hunt for food. She prefers the synthetic blood. She is also not you bone thin vampire. She has curves.
This book has Glory and Ray (Isreal Caine) in a very compromising situation. New Years Eve and Glory's on again off again man Jerry travels to Europe to look for his possible daughter. Glory goes to Ray when she learns that he is drinking alcohol. Vampires and alcohol do not mix.
Glory and Ray go out on a lake and meet a Siren. The Siren, Aggie is hunting vampires for a goddess named Crice. Aggie is a fan of Isreal Caine and decides to make Glory and Ray bring her 3 male vampires, and one must be Casanova.
Glory and Ray pretend to be engaged and also go to the Energy Vamps to work on getting Simon Destiny to be another of the vampires for Aggie. The fun begins for Glory, Jerry and Ray. A love triangle is now in full swing in this series. Glory in a pretend relationship with Ray and having to keep her real relationship with Jerry under wraps.
I am looking forward to reading the next book to see what is in store for Glory, Jerry, Ray and Jerry's daughter Lily. Now that Westwood the vampire hunter has been killed it will be interesting to see who besides Simon Destiny will be going after Glory and her friends.
This book has Glory and Ray (Isreal Caine) in a very compromising situation. New Years Eve and Glory's on again off again man Jerry travels to Europe to look for his possible daughter. Glory goes to Ray when she learns that he is drinking alcohol. Vampires and alcohol do not mix.
Glory and Ray go out on a lake and meet a Siren. The Siren, Aggie is hunting vampires for a goddess named Crice. Aggie is a fan of Isreal Caine and decides to make Glory and Ray bring her 3 male vampires, and one must be Casanova.
Glory and Ray pretend to be engaged and also go to the Energy Vamps to work on getting Simon Destiny to be another of the vampires for Aggie. The fun begins for Glory, Jerry and Ray. A love triangle is now in full swing in this series. Glory in a pretend relationship with Ray and having to keep her real relationship with Jerry under wraps.
I am looking forward to reading the next book to see what is in store for Glory, Jerry, Ray and Jerry's daughter Lily. Now that Westwood the vampire hunter has been killed it will be interesting to see who besides Simon Destiny will be going after Glory and her friends.
September 25, 2012
Oh Gerry. I don't want to give any spoilers away, so this is spoil free.
I seriously think I could melt for Ray.
I seriously know I would drop my pants and strike a pose for Jerry. Of course he would have to call me Lass.
Here is the thing, we get the picture that big does not mean unsexy. I mean I'm not small myself. My only problem is that Glory comes across a wee bit like a whore bag. Open sexuality is awesome. I just can't take Glory seriously about her love for Jerry if she is so hot for anything else that walks in. I root for Jerry. Even every time Glory does something stupid or hurtful he takes her back. Why I ask WHY!!!!
She needs to choose. Only, if she does where would all those hot ALMOST sexy scenes go!?! Its like a light switch. When you start to think OMG she's going for it you get turned on and then BAM! She walks out with out the nookie. Leaving the poor light switch left on and confused!
Valdez, I want my own Valdez. He's cute and deadly. Like a elf. BUT so not like a elf! Glory says Flo is her best friend but really, we all know Valdez is! He is comically funny the things he says and eats amaze me!
Over all I would rate it a solid 4. I enjoyed it. I just want Jerry all for my own!
I seriously think I could melt for Ray.
I seriously know I would drop my pants and strike a pose for Jerry. Of course he would have to call me Lass.
Here is the thing, we get the picture that big does not mean unsexy. I mean I'm not small myself. My only problem is that Glory comes across a wee bit like a whore bag. Open sexuality is awesome. I just can't take Glory seriously about her love for Jerry if she is so hot for anything else that walks in. I root for Jerry. Even every time Glory does something stupid or hurtful he takes her back. Why I ask WHY!!!!
She needs to choose. Only, if she does where would all those hot ALMOST sexy scenes go!?! Its like a light switch. When you start to think OMG she's going for it you get turned on and then BAM! She walks out with out the nookie. Leaving the poor light switch left on and confused!
Valdez, I want my own Valdez. He's cute and deadly. Like a elf. BUT so not like a elf! Glory says Flo is her best friend but really, we all know Valdez is! He is comically funny the things he says and eats amaze me!
Over all I would rate it a solid 4. I enjoyed it. I just want Jerry all for my own!
May 22, 2013
Gloriana St. Clair, better known as Glory, is a vampire just trying to live her
life. She's been around for about 400 years and she loves living under the radar.
Austin, Texas is the perfect city for Glory to open her vintage clothing store and
continue her low key life. While in Austin, Glory runs into lots of trouble and
crazy characters. It's up to Glory to balance the crazy without getting more
attention as a vampire.
Real Vampires Don't Diet is the fourth in the Glory series. The only reason I've
decided to review it is because this series is too good to pass up. Glory is a very
charismatic character that one can't help but love. Vampires are usually portrayed
as perfect beings and Glory is anything but perfect. The supporting characters are
just as fabulous and enhance this vampire world. If you are looking for a fun
vampire that can't seem to stay out of trouble, Glory is your gal.
life. She's been around for about 400 years and she loves living under the radar.
Austin, Texas is the perfect city for Glory to open her vintage clothing store and
continue her low key life. While in Austin, Glory runs into lots of trouble and
crazy characters. It's up to Glory to balance the crazy without getting more
attention as a vampire.
Real Vampires Don't Diet is the fourth in the Glory series. The only reason I've
decided to review it is because this series is too good to pass up. Glory is a very
charismatic character that one can't help but love. Vampires are usually portrayed
as perfect beings and Glory is anything but perfect. The supporting characters are
just as fabulous and enhance this vampire world. If you are looking for a fun
vampire that can't seem to stay out of trouble, Glory is your gal.
June 22, 2013
Much like with the first book of Glory St Clair, it took me a while to get into this one, the story just didn't seem right and I didn't like where it seemed to be headed so I think that put me off a little bit. However it did start to pick up and the second half of the book was great and I really enjoyed it.
The whole story revolves around deception and unfortunatley Glory isn't too good at it so obviously fun ensues from there!
We get to see more regarding Valdez in this one and see a different side of him too - not sure how this will play out in the next book as it has changed certain dynamics of the group and story!
Would really like to see a happy ending for Glory at the end of all the books (not sure how many there are all told) she seems like she deserves it. She makes so many mistakes and trys so hard to be good she has to rewarded some how!
So 4/5 for this book - I do love the Glory books and hopefully the next one will be great from first to last page!
The whole story revolves around deception and unfortunatley Glory isn't too good at it so obviously fun ensues from there!
We get to see more regarding Valdez in this one and see a different side of him too - not sure how this will play out in the next book as it has changed certain dynamics of the group and story!
Would really like to see a happy ending for Glory at the end of all the books (not sure how many there are all told) she seems like she deserves it. She makes so many mistakes and trys so hard to be good she has to rewarded some how!
So 4/5 for this book - I do love the Glory books and hopefully the next one will be great from first to last page!
April 29, 2013
REAL VAMPIRES DON'T DIET is designed to be pure escapism reading. If you like your novel to be all meaningful then this series isn’t for you. The story is a blend of romance, adventure and kick arse action – with a little self-pity thrown in occasionally for balance. Glory is just a typical everyday young woman who has life work balance issues (she can only work nights); boyfriend problems (she has not one but 3 hunks all panting after her) and worries about her weight (when she was turned into a vampire in the 1600s she was having a bloat day). OK – well almost typical. She has a minder in the form of a dog, and in this book she has to deal with a Siren who is a long way from home and not as pretty as mythology would have us believe. There is adventure, drama, cheeky banter, ghastly singing and lots of humour. A nice relaxing read.
June 30, 2010
I just finished this book and I LOVED it!!! It was amazingly funny!! The story was catching and without one dull moment. It is an easy read and okay to pick up in the middle of the series, as I did, because the author gives just enough insite to the rest of the series so you dont feel like your wandering around in the middle of strange woods. The action is jump out of your seat intense, I had a hard time not screaming in glee! And though you cant actuall 'see' the characters they are obviously hot, hot, HOT!!! I mean, whats not to love? Rockstar vampires, scaly sirens, Angry Gods, a telelpathic, shape-shifting, dog, bodygaurd that is as hot in human form as he is sweet in animal form, and a bunch of hot guys chasing after the chubby girl!!! Now if only they were real....
June 12, 2017
I'm curvy like Glory, maybe a little more so, so I love a good story line where the voluptuous gal is in demand; however I wanted to punch Ray a few different times for not taking "no" for an answer. There it's a difference between being a little pushy and being an a$&. I can even tell you the difference in why I feel this way this time and not last time... I got married to MY Jerry, and get annoyed when boys (no man acts like this in real life) pout because your aren't interested in getting their rocks off.
I still love the book, the whole story line is great. I adore Glory and Flo and so badly want to shop at Vintage Vamps...
This book has funny quips, romance, danger and excitement. (Heck I read 2/3rds of the book this evening.. so much for one chapter then sleep)
I still love the book, the whole story line is great. I adore Glory and Flo and so badly want to shop at Vintage Vamps...
This book has funny quips, romance, danger and excitement. (Heck I read 2/3rds of the book this evening.. so much for one chapter then sleep)
February 28, 2010
This ended up being a fun, lighthearted read but for some reason, it seemed to take me forever to get into in the first place! I'm not sure if it was timing or what, but I picked this one up and put it down to read something else a few times in the past couple of months. Once I finally got into it, I really enjoyed it. Glory and her misadventures were delightful and I found myself stuck in the middle of the love triangle as well - sexy rockstar Ray or experienced and obviously talented Jerry? I would happily read about Glory and her friends again if I came across the other books in the series though I'm not sure I will be eagerly seeking out them out.
July 26, 2010
Glory is trying to get new vampire and popular musician, Israel (Ray) Caine used to being a vampire, when the two of them cross the path with a siren on a mission. Now Glory and Ray will be hell bound unless they can find 3 vampires to take their place. Well, the vampire world is full of bad eggs, so Glory and company devise a plan to send some of these evil doers to the siren so she can dispose of them. They are on a tight timeline and at the same time they have to pretend to be engaged for the paparazzi.
This series is so much fun. Even though it is definitely chicklit, there is always action. Glory and her crew of vampires and shapeshifters are hard to resist.
This series is so much fun. Even though it is definitely chicklit, there is always action. Glory and her crew of vampires and shapeshifters are hard to resist.
August 8, 2009
This was another fun book in the Real Vampires series by Gerry Bartlett. Once again it was HOT! This time there was passion not just between Glory and Blade but between her and Ray too. It was fun to add another hottie to the mix. If I were here, I'm not sure who I would choose. I liked all of the action in the story and the addition of the Siren character. And I really liked the ending (although I don't want to give it away). I look forward to reading the next book in the series, Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs, although I have to wait until February, when it comes out!
October 7, 2016
Fun, schlocky, sexy vampire goodness. Bartlett did make a few dumb factual mistakes that yanked me out of the story, though. I can suspend disbelief for a 400-year-old vintage-clothing-shop-owning vampire with curves, her shape-shifting doggy bodyguard, and her ancient-but-hot Highlands honey -- sure, no problem. But tell me that a Jewish superstar pleases his devout mother by refusing to hold concerts on Saturday night, and you've lost me. Come on, if you're going to write a Jewish character, learn the first thing about the religion!
September 29, 2013
This was my favorite one in the series so far. Glory has really grown on me, and the Siren subplot with Aggie was really fun.
My big complaint with these books has been the focus on Glory's weight, which was unfortunately still at the forefront of this novel. I also find myself annoyed with her back and forth relationship with Blade. In this book however, I actually found myself torn between Blade and Ray and wasn't sure what Glory should do. I always thought she should be with Blade, but I'm not so sure anymore.
I'm looking forward to seeing what's next in Glory's world.
My big complaint with these books has been the focus on Glory's weight, which was unfortunately still at the forefront of this novel. I also find myself annoyed with her back and forth relationship with Blade. In this book however, I actually found myself torn between Blade and Ray and wasn't sure what Glory should do. I always thought she should be with Blade, but I'm not so sure anymore.
I'm looking forward to seeing what's next in Glory's world.
January 26, 2012
I think there were a few random tidbits thrown into this book, but luckily there are a few more in the series, so it was just enough to pique my curiosity. Having Ray as a newer character in the series definitely made this one a bit more interesting. My favorite part was probably that Valdez loosened up a little in his bodyguard role and we got to learn some more about him, so I'm definitely curious to see what will happen with him in future books.
May 8, 2012
Glory St. Clair is spending New Year's Eve alone. Her boy friend, Jeremy Blade is off to parts unknown to rescue his supposed daughter from dangerous radicals.
Glory has an evening of chick flicks planned when she gets called by the body guard of Israel "Ray" Caine. Alcohol and "turned" vampires do not mix well.
Glory rushed off to save Ray from himself. She suggests they take a boat ride, what can happen out on the lake....
Glory has an evening of chick flicks planned when she gets called by the body guard of Israel "Ray" Caine. Alcohol and "turned" vampires do not mix well.
Glory rushed off to save Ray from himself. She suggests they take a boat ride, what can happen out on the lake....
March 22, 2013
I am thrilled to finally be able to say that I loved this book! I loved the character development and the love triangle that is emerging in this series and found that now that the author has developed her variety of characters - she is enjoying playing them against each other. While I have been only lukewarm about this series so far...I am really looking forward to seeing where the story is gong next! Definitely the steamiest of the series so far as well...
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