How I Escaped Evangelical Hell: A Memoir

by Jon Jones

How I Escaped Evangelical Hell by Jon Jones. Every day at apartment #54, inside his tiny Section-8 bedroom, Jon Jones would stare at the pages of his father's Amplified Bible. Then, he would turn to his IBM clone 386 SX-25, pick that day's chapters, and type out what he read. Outdoors, children would be playing baseball; he could hear them, but he would be typing. Not because he wanted to, but because if he didn't, there would be hell to pay.

"From the age of eight to fourteen," writes Jones, "every single day, before I was allowed to eat or go outside or even do my schoolwork, I had to type out my chapters, and then I was figuratively free for the day. I remember looking outside to see the kids in the neighborhood running and playing because school was out for the summer—but I had to stay inside to type the Bible. I’m doing God’s Work! Don’t I want God to love me? Keep typing! Now, you may be thinking, 'how did it take 6 years to type 900 pages?' When I finished the Bible in its entirety for the first time, my father 'accidentally' deleted the entire thing and 'didn’t have any backups,' and I had to start over from scratch. Infuriatingly, he would repeat this over the years by mysteriously losing chapters or entire books. I estimate that I’ve typed the Amplified Bible somewhere between five and ten times. There are over 880,000 words in the Amplified Bible."

In How I Escaped Evangelical Hell, Jones bravely reveals his slow drowning by the hands of his radical evangelical Christian family in their pursuit to raise the perfect Godly boy. In doing so, Jones found his salvation through the very computer on which he was forced to write the Bible.

Today, Jon Jones is a sixteen-year veteran of the video game industry, and a widely-recognized industry leader for building and managing art teams. He has over fifty titles to his credit, and is based in New York City.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

196 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 28, 2017

Reviews

[Scott Holstad · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this book based on the title. I, too, had a nightmarishly horrific evangelical/fundamentalist upbringing with stringent parents I fought with for years. I, too, escaped evangelical hell and like the author, I hated my father for decades.

However, I was beyond disappointed in this book and didn't finish when it became apparent to me that it was more diary-like and seemed to focus exclusively, page by page, on how insane his father was and how much he hated and still hates him -- to the exclusion of everything else, even his mother. I know virtually nothing about her, but I know more than I ever wanted to about his father, or rather his feelings toward his father. This is a man who needs therapy. This is a man who needs closure. About five years before my father died, I made an effort, which he did too, to try and patch things up and time can heal, as they say, and he had mellowed in his dogmatism and I had mellowed in my hatred of him and his worldview, and we came together again, eventually on very good terms, he with his beliefs and me with mine, and although he died prematurely and I didn't get to enjoy spending quality time with him as an older adult, I feel like when he died, we were at peace and even had developed a type of friendship, if father and child can have such. This is what this author needs and since I'm not finishing the book, perhaps he got it, but I can only read so much venom without suffering flashbacks, so I'm choosing to stop before I have to relive my nightmare all over again. This might provide an interesting look inside the world of Biblical literalists and their dogmatic sicknesses and how this impacts their children, but it's hate and venom and a bad reminder for me. I can't recommend it. Sorry.

[Anais Chartschenko · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read many memoirs trying to understand people. This is the first one that was a way of understanding me. It reaffirmed just how toxic the Evangelical church of my childhood was, reflected back the lonely years of monotonous training in the good book, and shone a light on the dark world of homeschool that I escaped from.
I believe all stories have power, with threads we can follow to learn and grow. But I will hold this memoir as precious because it is able to uniquely validate situations I lived through that others have doubted. Someone else lived them too. When you are isolated and abused, it works to the benefit of the abusers to convince you that you are alone. And it can feel that way for many years after, even if you do “escape Evangelical Hell.”
Jones details how he still struggles with social anxiety as a result of his abuse. He is honest about how the development of a self is so terribly hard to get, and he also demonstrates the bravery it takes to rescue yourself when it becomes clear that you can only rely on yourself.
I hope more people read this book to gain an understanding on the dangers of unregulated homeschool. Yes, it is possible to become a success after you have been beat down throughout your entire childhood, but why do we allow that to be an option? Some programs, like Accelerated Christian Education, which both Jones and I endured, ought to be banned. No child should be taught to turn their mind off in the pursuit of absolute obedience. And that is just one aspect appalling enough to ban it for.
A heart felt thank you to Jones for writing a book that was healing for me to read.

[AnnMaria De Mars · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book about what it's like to grow up in a crazy evangelical home - as advertised. Easy airplane read. Makes you want to not be an evangelical Christian.

[Team503 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insight into the life of a young man raised by a controlling religious madman!