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Precious Little Sleep: The Complete Baby Sleep Guide for Modern Parents
Parenting a baby or toddler is the grandest adventure of all when you're not miserably exhausted. Sleep expert Alexis Dubief, of the wildly popular website Precious Little Sleep, imparts effective, accessible, and flexible strategies based on years of research that will dramatically improve your child's sleep.
This book will help you tackle the thorniest sleep snags, including:
Navigating the tricky newborn phase like a pro Getting your child to truly sleep through the night Weaning off the all night buffet Mastering the precarious tango that is healthy napping Solving toddler and preschooler sleep struggles If you're looking for practical solutions to improve your child's sleep in a book that won't put you to sleep, this is for you!
This book will help you tackle the thorniest sleep snags, including:
Navigating the tricky newborn phase like a pro Getting your child to truly sleep through the night Weaning off the all night buffet Mastering the precarious tango that is healthy napping Solving toddler and preschooler sleep struggles If you're looking for practical solutions to improve your child's sleep in a book that won't put you to sleep, this is for you!
320 pages, Paperback
First published July 10, 2017
4304 people are currently reading
4487 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 591 reviews
August 27, 2021
Good primer on what to expect and how to manage infant sleep.
Takeaways:
General
- consistency is everything.
- baby needs to learn to fall asleep independently at bedtime.
- babies tend to wake up around 6-7am, and need 11 hrs of sleep. So bedtime should be around 7-8pm.
- object permanence: Baby learns object permanence around 4-6mo. This causes problems with sleep if they wake up from sleeping and anything is different from when they fell asleep (location, sound, presence of parent, presence of pacifier, etc.)
Sleep "Power Tools"
1. White noise (0+ mo)
2. Swaddling (0-4 mo): Have to stop when baby can roll over
3. Pacifier (0-6 mo): Will eventually cause problems when baby learns object permanence if it pops out while they are sleeping.
4. Managing Sleep schedule (0+ mo): Key is being very very consistent. Consistent bedtime routine, including order and timing.
"SWAP" (Sleep With Assistance Plan):
Plan: Help baby get close to sleep, but let them fall asleep independently
1. Fuss It Out: Put in crib calm & drowsy. Set timer for 15-20 min. (Different from "Cry it out" because we're just trying it out - not committed.)
2. The Double Take: Soothe until fully asleep, put in bed, wake slightly.
3. Gradual Weaning: do progressively less of whatever it takes to get baby to sleep
3a. Gradual Weaning - Motion Junkies: Switch to jiggling crib, and jiggle less each night
3b. Gradual Weaning - Suckers: (1) Let them suck until drowsy, then pop them off. Repeat as necessary. (2) "Anything but" - get them to sleep by any other method. Then later wean them off that new method.
3c. Gradual Weaning - Cuddlers: Move further and further away each night.
"SLIP" (Sleep Learning Independence Plan), aka Cry It Out
Plan: Let them cry themselves to sleep
Either "Gradual extinction" (i.e. keep coming back in to check at progressively longer intervals) or "Full extinction". Both work. Both are safe for baby. Parents might feel better about gradual extinction, but full extinction might work slightly faster. If you start with Full Extinction, you have to stay the course.
How:
1. Make naps happen by any means necessary. (But avoid catnaps)
2. Do your relaxing, consistent bedtime routine but leave out the final “soothe to sleep” step.
3. Continue to swaddle (if safe)
4. Stop using pacifier
5. Safe sleep location
6. Put baby to sleep at appropriate bedtime (7-8pm)
7. Use consistent bedtime words
8. Put baby in bed & leave room
9. Allow your child the space to figure out how to fall asleep without you. She may get angry, sad, furious, or some combination thereof. Is she safe? Fed? Loved? If the answers are “yes,” you’ve done your job. She’s working on something new, and from her perspective, it’s a frustrating challenge. It’s okay for her to be frustrated.
10. Don't give up!
Naps
Conventions:
1. Use age-appropriate soothing
2. Consistent: same location, same(ish) time, same pre-nap routine
3. Timing is everything (awake long enough to have sleep-debt, but not so long as to be overtired):
Wake-time method (how long to be awake before napping):
- 0-1.5mo: 0.5-1 hrs
- 1.5-3 mo: 1-1.5 hrs
- 4 mo: 1-2 hrs
- 6 mo: 1.5-3 hrs
- 9-12 mo: 2-4 hrs
- 12-18 mo: 5-6 hrs (if 1 nap), 3-4 hrs (if 2 naps)
Nap homework:
0-3 months: naps are a crapshoot. Use Power Tools and don't let baby stay awake too long
3-6 months: naps should be more predictable. Ideal age to make good nap habits: age-appropriate soothing, same dark place every day, 10-15min pre-nap routine.
6-9 months: naps should be ~1.5hrs. Should have a pre-nap routine and naps should be at same time and place every day
9-12 months: should have two 1+ hr naps.
Takeaways:
General
- consistency is everything.
- baby needs to learn to fall asleep independently at bedtime.
- babies tend to wake up around 6-7am, and need 11 hrs of sleep. So bedtime should be around 7-8pm.
- object permanence: Baby learns object permanence around 4-6mo. This causes problems with sleep if they wake up from sleeping and anything is different from when they fell asleep (location, sound, presence of parent, presence of pacifier, etc.)
Sleep "Power Tools"
1. White noise (0+ mo)
2. Swaddling (0-4 mo): Have to stop when baby can roll over
3. Pacifier (0-6 mo): Will eventually cause problems when baby learns object permanence if it pops out while they are sleeping.
4. Managing Sleep schedule (0+ mo): Key is being very very consistent. Consistent bedtime routine, including order and timing.
"SWAP" (Sleep With Assistance Plan):
Plan: Help baby get close to sleep, but let them fall asleep independently
1. Fuss It Out: Put in crib calm & drowsy. Set timer for 15-20 min. (Different from "Cry it out" because we're just trying it out - not committed.)
2. The Double Take: Soothe until fully asleep, put in bed, wake slightly.
3. Gradual Weaning: do progressively less of whatever it takes to get baby to sleep
3a. Gradual Weaning - Motion Junkies: Switch to jiggling crib, and jiggle less each night
3b. Gradual Weaning - Suckers: (1) Let them suck until drowsy, then pop them off. Repeat as necessary. (2) "Anything but" - get them to sleep by any other method. Then later wean them off that new method.
3c. Gradual Weaning - Cuddlers: Move further and further away each night.
"SLIP" (Sleep Learning Independence Plan), aka Cry It Out
Plan: Let them cry themselves to sleep
Either "Gradual extinction" (i.e. keep coming back in to check at progressively longer intervals) or "Full extinction". Both work. Both are safe for baby. Parents might feel better about gradual extinction, but full extinction might work slightly faster. If you start with Full Extinction, you have to stay the course.
How:
1. Make naps happen by any means necessary. (But avoid catnaps)
2. Do your relaxing, consistent bedtime routine but leave out the final “soothe to sleep” step.
3. Continue to swaddle (if safe)
4. Stop using pacifier
5. Safe sleep location
6. Put baby to sleep at appropriate bedtime (7-8pm)
7. Use consistent bedtime words
8. Put baby in bed & leave room
9. Allow your child the space to figure out how to fall asleep without you. She may get angry, sad, furious, or some combination thereof. Is she safe? Fed? Loved? If the answers are “yes,” you’ve done your job. She’s working on something new, and from her perspective, it’s a frustrating challenge. It’s okay for her to be frustrated.
10. Don't give up!
Naps
Conventions:
1. Use age-appropriate soothing
2. Consistent: same location, same(ish) time, same pre-nap routine
3. Timing is everything (awake long enough to have sleep-debt, but not so long as to be overtired):
Wake-time method (how long to be awake before napping):
- 0-1.5mo: 0.5-1 hrs
- 1.5-3 mo: 1-1.5 hrs
- 4 mo: 1-2 hrs
- 6 mo: 1.5-3 hrs
- 9-12 mo: 2-4 hrs
- 12-18 mo: 5-6 hrs (if 1 nap), 3-4 hrs (if 2 naps)
Nap homework:
0-3 months: naps are a crapshoot. Use Power Tools and don't let baby stay awake too long
3-6 months: naps should be more predictable. Ideal age to make good nap habits: age-appropriate soothing, same dark place every day, 10-15min pre-nap routine.
6-9 months: naps should be ~1.5hrs. Should have a pre-nap routine and naps should be at same time and place every day
9-12 months: should have two 1+ hr naps.
January 6, 2019
This isn't a great book.
That isn't to say that the author doesn't know what she's talking about. On the contrary, she seems to have incredibly expansive knowledge on all things baby-sleep-related. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to have translated into a great book.
The main problem this book has is structure (or lack thereof). For some reason, neither the book as a whole, or even the chapters are organised based on the obvious principle: the age of your baby. Instead, the chapters are thematic (and even the order of those didn't make sense to me) and you have to read the whole thing to glean the small bit of info that might be pertinent to your child at his/her current age.
The second problem with this book is that it's about twice as long as it needs to be. This is mainly due to lots of repetition, and lots of fluff. Sadly, Dubief seems to feel compelled to insert banter and gags on every second page, and only about 25% of it is funny (though I did laugh out loud a couple of times). The rest is just filler.
To be fair to the author, there are LOTS of great ideas in this book, and it's very well researched. I really appreciate that most of the important ideas include references to actual scientific studies, rather than just anecdote or personal experience. I just wish that it was all organised more coherently. Having just finished reading it in a couple of weeks, I struggle to be able to reflect on what I learned, as it was really all over the place.
I think the shortcomings of this book are probably the result of it being stitched together from a lot of blog content. Credit is due to Dubief to have gathered and disseminated so much info, but I think she could have used help from a heavily involved editor.
Sadly, if I were going to choose a baby sleep book to read again, I wouldn't choose this one. In fact, I think I may have to look for another, depending on how my review of my highlights goes.
That isn't to say that the author doesn't know what she's talking about. On the contrary, she seems to have incredibly expansive knowledge on all things baby-sleep-related. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to have translated into a great book.
The main problem this book has is structure (or lack thereof). For some reason, neither the book as a whole, or even the chapters are organised based on the obvious principle: the age of your baby. Instead, the chapters are thematic (and even the order of those didn't make sense to me) and you have to read the whole thing to glean the small bit of info that might be pertinent to your child at his/her current age.
The second problem with this book is that it's about twice as long as it needs to be. This is mainly due to lots of repetition, and lots of fluff. Sadly, Dubief seems to feel compelled to insert banter and gags on every second page, and only about 25% of it is funny (though I did laugh out loud a couple of times). The rest is just filler.
To be fair to the author, there are LOTS of great ideas in this book, and it's very well researched. I really appreciate that most of the important ideas include references to actual scientific studies, rather than just anecdote or personal experience. I just wish that it was all organised more coherently. Having just finished reading it in a couple of weeks, I struggle to be able to reflect on what I learned, as it was really all over the place.
I think the shortcomings of this book are probably the result of it being stitched together from a lot of blog content. Credit is due to Dubief to have gathered and disseminated so much info, but I think she could have used help from a heavily involved editor.
Sadly, if I were going to choose a baby sleep book to read again, I wouldn't choose this one. In fact, I think I may have to look for another, depending on how my review of my highlights goes.
November 1, 2017
One star for referencing The Princess Bride. The other 4 for an insightful, non prejudiced look at all forms of sleep training. So entertaining that it had me reading parts aloud to my husband. And normally only Bill Bryson inspires such behaviour. But be warned: if you are 1000% set on the attachment parenting model then this book is not for you.
May 19, 2019
Was finding interesting and useful bits in this until I got to the naps section. Then it turned into the helicopter parents of America - your baby's naps are your life. You can't ever leave the house and forget about travel anywhere. At least for the first 2-5 years. Baby must sleep in the same dark, quiet location (read: crib) for every. single. nap. Because consistency is the only way they'll nap. Considering that the under 4 months old can only be awake for 90min at a time max, you are stuck. Stroller and car naps are permitted, but very rarely and they will inevitably mess up all that hard work you did with nap training before. Oh and if your child doesn't nap weell, then they won't sleep well eithe. What bollocks way to live - for you and for your kid(s).
April 16, 2020
This book would be improved if the author quit making jokes and divided the book into parts by age.
December 30, 2023
Is this book the greatest baby sleep book? Is it going to work? I have no idea. What I do know is that before I read this book, I had no plan about handling my newborns sleep and felt like I had no control. And although this book is kind of about my baby, it’s really about me and how to stay sane and rested while doing my best to care for her.
So this book gets 5 stars from me because I feel like I have an idea and strategy for managing her sleep, and that’s huge for me right now. Dubief’s basic thesis is that you need to setup the right sleep associations for your baby at bedtime and then stay consistent from there. If that sounds reasonable to you and you want to know how, read the book. If that sounds crazy or simplistic, find another baby sleep book.
Finally, I reserve the right to edit and change my review in a few weeks/months/years depending on how the sleep goes. It’s totally personal and case-specific, but so is my review anyways.
8 Month Update: So I read this book around 1 month, and it seemed like a good idea. We followed her advice (and additional advice in the Precious Little Sleep fb group), and our baby was a GREAT sleeper. She learned how to sleep independently, she has napped and slept long stretches, and we never had to sleep train. Maybe it was the book, or maybe she naturally is just very cooperative. Either way, I have no complaints about following Dubief's recommendations.
Second child update: Despite differences in both personality and how they sleep, there are two broad similarities between our children. First, we once again used this book as our main (only) reference, and second, they are both great sleepers. Not saying it is guaranteed to work for you, but we’re two for two.
So this book gets 5 stars from me because I feel like I have an idea and strategy for managing her sleep, and that’s huge for me right now. Dubief’s basic thesis is that you need to setup the right sleep associations for your baby at bedtime and then stay consistent from there. If that sounds reasonable to you and you want to know how, read the book. If that sounds crazy or simplistic, find another baby sleep book.
Finally, I reserve the right to edit and change my review in a few weeks/months/years depending on how the sleep goes. It’s totally personal and case-specific, but so is my review anyways.
8 Month Update: So I read this book around 1 month, and it seemed like a good idea. We followed her advice (and additional advice in the Precious Little Sleep fb group), and our baby was a GREAT sleeper. She learned how to sleep independently, she has napped and slept long stretches, and we never had to sleep train. Maybe it was the book, or maybe she naturally is just very cooperative. Either way, I have no complaints about following Dubief's recommendations.
Second child update: Despite differences in both personality and how they sleep, there are two broad similarities between our children. First, we once again used this book as our main (only) reference, and second, they are both great sleepers. Not saying it is guaranteed to work for you, but we’re two for two.
August 21, 2017
This is by far the best book about getting your baby to sleep that there ever was. Forget Babywise, even forget "Healthy Sleep Habits". DuBief has spent years researching the science behind baby sleep, and she's got a major thing figured out: babies are fully capable of independent sleep and you can help get them there. She tackles this issue with directness and humor, and includes tools such as age-appropriate sleep guides and the reasons/promises/pitfalls behind different approaches. What more can I say except that this is a MUST READ for every new parent!!
December 9, 2022
This is a "love it or hate it" book. Yes, there is actionable advice (but so does practically every book on sleep training published). The glaring issue here is the author's unhelpful attitude, which can be summed up as, "hey listen to all the 'cute' jokes I can squeeze onto one page! You're sleep deprived and just want me to get to the point? Too bad - I love the sound of my own voice too much to care about that!"
Its only value is that it collates all the advice that's already out there on the internet into one book. Beyond that, it's annoying AF.
Its only value is that it collates all the advice that's already out there on the internet into one book. Beyond that, it's annoying AF.
December 1, 2024
The best book I’ve read about infant sleep thus far!
October 26, 2021
I am really on the fence about this one - on the one hand, I think a lot of the information was helpful and useful, but on the other I really hated the tone. I am not a nap ninja or a goddess of consistency or a sleep fairy, I am an adult human who would like to make sure my baby doesn't end up an insomniac like me. Also, don't let your baby sleep in the swing - I was really surprised to see that suggestion in the book as it definitely can be unsafe.
July 15, 2021
This is a useful reference book for new parents who don't have much time for reading but still want to improve their kid's sleep. Dubief's approach is simple: If you want your baby to sleep (and if you'd like to sleep too), then you need to give him/her the tools necessary to sleep independently. Dubief believes strongly in the power of "sleep associations," and her book is designed to help parents find sustainable and effective "sleep associations" for their baby.
At times, the book is a bit repetitive, and sometimes her solutions feel a bit like blind trial and error (for instance, when she offers two solutions to a sleeping issue, and the first solution is put your kid to bed earlier while the second is put your kid to bed later).
Overall, though, Precious Little Sleep is a helpful and quick read that gives new parents some concrete skills and tactics that can be used at bedtime.
At times, the book is a bit repetitive, and sometimes her solutions feel a bit like blind trial and error (for instance, when she offers two solutions to a sleeping issue, and the first solution is put your kid to bed earlier while the second is put your kid to bed later).
Overall, though, Precious Little Sleep is a helpful and quick read that gives new parents some concrete skills and tactics that can be used at bedtime.
September 16, 2017
This book is the reason my kid sleeps 12 hours a night. Alexis is hilarious, backed by scientific study after study (with pages of references in the back), and knows how to cut through the jungle of emotional manipulation and mom-guilt to get you the help you need. Read this book, implement the plans, and SLEEP!
July 8, 2024
I just don’t think I’m the right audience for sleep training.
October 30, 2025
Disclaimer: I am personally not a fan of sleep training, but I also fully respect parents who have used it and felt it best for their family.
I did find some helpful tips nestled in the book that worked for me and my baby, so yay! I do agree that we can support our babies’ sleep through gentle means, routine, consistency, etc. But I just can’t get behind traditional CIO sleep training.
Sleep training has very ugly and storied history (see below) and I just get tired of the same rhetoric being re-branded by so-called “sleep consultants” (whatever that means) for profit. This book really just felt like a revamped Babywise (or Ferber, or Taking Cara Babies) to me. The author has zero medical or even scientific qualifications to write something like this. She has a masters in finance. So why do sleep books by unqualified authors sell so well? Well, because parents are desperate. And taking advantage of this is very problematic to me.
I fully support parents doing what they feel is best for their babies to sleep well, and depending on a baby’s temperament, that can involve some amount of crying at bedtime. But encouraging parents to ignore their instincts, let babies cry for hours, “ignore it” or “be stingy with comfort” (quote from the book) just doesn’t sit well with me. Some babies are just terrible sleepers and need more time and patience, and that’s really all there is to it.
Final complaint: the author’s tone and constant wisecracks and jokes made it annoying to read.
if you’re curious… https://www.southernnaturalparentingn...
I did find some helpful tips nestled in the book that worked for me and my baby, so yay! I do agree that we can support our babies’ sleep through gentle means, routine, consistency, etc. But I just can’t get behind traditional CIO sleep training.
Sleep training has very ugly and storied history (see below) and I just get tired of the same rhetoric being re-branded by so-called “sleep consultants” (whatever that means) for profit. This book really just felt like a revamped Babywise (or Ferber, or Taking Cara Babies) to me. The author has zero medical or even scientific qualifications to write something like this. She has a masters in finance. So why do sleep books by unqualified authors sell so well? Well, because parents are desperate. And taking advantage of this is very problematic to me.
I fully support parents doing what they feel is best for their babies to sleep well, and depending on a baby’s temperament, that can involve some amount of crying at bedtime. But encouraging parents to ignore their instincts, let babies cry for hours, “ignore it” or “be stingy with comfort” (quote from the book) just doesn’t sit well with me. Some babies are just terrible sleepers and need more time and patience, and that’s really all there is to it.
Final complaint: the author’s tone and constant wisecracks and jokes made it annoying to read.
if you’re curious… https://www.southernnaturalparentingn...
September 13, 2025
I could have done without a hokey tone and relentless corny jokes, but there was some good stuff in here! One of the difficult things about baby sleep is that there are one million different opinions about how to do it best and it is hard to discern what will work for your child, especially when you are paralyzed by the fear that doing it one way and then trying it another way will ruin everything because of your lack of consistency.
There is one joke that I thought was quite funny: “We’ve all seen the quiet old lady whispering ‘Hush’ in Goodnight Moon, so it can seem both reasonable and loving to stay in that rocking chair while our children nod off to sleep. However, what that book doesn’t show is the quiet old lady getting super pissed off because the bunny wakes up five times a night and can’t go back to sleep without her trotting back in to hush some more” (223-224).
Here are the things I want to remember:
Falling Asleep
- Not falling asleep independently at naps and/or bedtime is the root cause of 99.8% of all chronic baby and toddler sleep problems (55)
- The easiest time to work on teaching babies to fall asleep on their own is when they are about 2 to 4 months old (83)
- Start with bedtime; there is a huge biological compulsion to sleep at bedtime so this will almost always be an easier journey than mastering independent sleep at naptime (85)
- A consistent, predictable bedtime is one of the most powerful sleep cues you can establish (37)
- Most kids between 3 months and 8 years should be going to bed around 7:30pm (38)
- Your bedtime routine should include activities that are enjoyed by all and that you can do without fail every night for the next 3 years or more (40)
- Inconsistent bedtimes are associated with a higher rate of behavioral problems (43)
- White noise is the most effective, easiest to implement, and least expensive sleep aid for babies; white noise reduces stress in babies; white noise helps babies fall asleep more easily and stay asleep longer; after their first birthday, it is easy to wean off white noise by gradually reducing the volume; white noise should be roughly 50 decibels (67-69)
- Full extinction works better (according to this author) than Dr. Ferber’s graduated extinction because it works more quickly and results in less crying; however, if you start with full extinction, you are committed to that path and can’t switch from full to graduated (118-119)
- If you are doing graduated extinction, each check-in is a brief visit of no more than 1-2 minutes; do not pick your child up but reiterate the soothing words you used at bedtime and then depart while they are still awake (120)
- If your child screams for 5-15 minutes before sleep, you don’t actually have a problem; some babies just need to blow off a little steam before they fall asleep (129)
Night Feeding
- For night feeds, consider the following guidelines: A) no food prior to midnight ideally and B) a baby who can go 3 hours between feeds during the day can certainly do 3 or more hours at night (136)
- For night waking, your decision tree has two options: A) go to your baby within 5-10 minutes after they wake up or B) wait until they fall back asleep without your assistance. Having your baby complain for 40 minutes and then going to feed or cuddle leads to lots of future crying (139)
- Only 50% of 6-month-olds are sleeping 8 hours without eating (144)
- Overall sleep duration matters but uninterrupted sleep matters more; look at the pattern of night feeds and focus on weaning off the feeding that will create the longest possible stretch of uninterrupted sleep for you (150)
- Start by weaning off one feeding rather than jumping in and trying to wean off all feedings at once (151)
Napping
- You’ll likely want to address naps after you’ve successfully established independent sleep at bedtime because bedtime is far easier (you can make mistakes and be inconsistent and still end up with a successful outcome) but naps are a greater challenge (177)
- You should expect it will take many days or weeks to fully establish independent nap sleep (178)
- Late afternoon or evening naps (even 5 to 10-minute car or boob naps) can throw off bedtime (40)
- At 3-6 months, naps can be highly variable but they will be more successful if they occur in the same dark, safe place every day with a consistent 10-15 minute pre-nap routine; this is a great age to focus on independent sleep; no more (or dramatically less frequent) naps on your lap, on your boob, in a baby carrier (165)
- As a parent, you have to accept that you can’t entirely control napping; kids can and will fight naps; some days will be terrible nap days, even if you do all the right things (169)
- As sleep becomes more predictable (usually between 4 and 9 months), you can segue from the Wake-Time-Method to the By-the-Clock-Method (napping at a specific time every day); this will create a predictable rhythm to your child’s wake/sleep pattern; before that, you can’t easily follow By-the-Clock because of variability in nap duration and the variability in the time your baby can be awake, which is constantly expanding such that the schedule that works today may not work next week (174-175)
- If your baby takes a brief (e.g., 20 minute) nap independently, naptime is over; sometimes parents feel the nap was too short and attempt to extend the nap; this rarely works out; a micronap is better than no nap so this mini-nap is a win (179)
- If the first two naps of the day were a bit of a slog, it’s often better to have the third nap happen on the go (stroller, car, babywearing) (180)
- Any independent sleep is a huge accomplishment–your child did something they couldn’t do before (181)
Miscellaneous
- Whereas adults have a mature sleep cycle of 90-110 minutes, a baby will cycle through sleep stages every 50 minutes (48)
- If you are crossing only one time zone for a brief time (less than week), consider keeping baby on your home time zone (207)
- For daylight savings, spread the time change across 4 days, shifting your child’s sleep earlier or later by 15 minutes a day (210)
“Yes, your child will have to figure out how to fall asleep without your ministrations. This is one of many skills they will have to figure out, and certainly not the last that will result in tears. Do you believe your child incapable of mastering a skill that literally every person on the planet before them has mastered? Of course not” (124)
There is one joke that I thought was quite funny: “We’ve all seen the quiet old lady whispering ‘Hush’ in Goodnight Moon, so it can seem both reasonable and loving to stay in that rocking chair while our children nod off to sleep. However, what that book doesn’t show is the quiet old lady getting super pissed off because the bunny wakes up five times a night and can’t go back to sleep without her trotting back in to hush some more” (223-224).
Here are the things I want to remember:
Falling Asleep
- Not falling asleep independently at naps and/or bedtime is the root cause of 99.8% of all chronic baby and toddler sleep problems (55)
- The easiest time to work on teaching babies to fall asleep on their own is when they are about 2 to 4 months old (83)
- Start with bedtime; there is a huge biological compulsion to sleep at bedtime so this will almost always be an easier journey than mastering independent sleep at naptime (85)
- A consistent, predictable bedtime is one of the most powerful sleep cues you can establish (37)
- Most kids between 3 months and 8 years should be going to bed around 7:30pm (38)
- Your bedtime routine should include activities that are enjoyed by all and that you can do without fail every night for the next 3 years or more (40)
- Inconsistent bedtimes are associated with a higher rate of behavioral problems (43)
- White noise is the most effective, easiest to implement, and least expensive sleep aid for babies; white noise reduces stress in babies; white noise helps babies fall asleep more easily and stay asleep longer; after their first birthday, it is easy to wean off white noise by gradually reducing the volume; white noise should be roughly 50 decibels (67-69)
- Full extinction works better (according to this author) than Dr. Ferber’s graduated extinction because it works more quickly and results in less crying; however, if you start with full extinction, you are committed to that path and can’t switch from full to graduated (118-119)
- If you are doing graduated extinction, each check-in is a brief visit of no more than 1-2 minutes; do not pick your child up but reiterate the soothing words you used at bedtime and then depart while they are still awake (120)
- If your child screams for 5-15 minutes before sleep, you don’t actually have a problem; some babies just need to blow off a little steam before they fall asleep (129)
Night Feeding
- For night feeds, consider the following guidelines: A) no food prior to midnight ideally and B) a baby who can go 3 hours between feeds during the day can certainly do 3 or more hours at night (136)
- For night waking, your decision tree has two options: A) go to your baby within 5-10 minutes after they wake up or B) wait until they fall back asleep without your assistance. Having your baby complain for 40 minutes and then going to feed or cuddle leads to lots of future crying (139)
- Only 50% of 6-month-olds are sleeping 8 hours without eating (144)
- Overall sleep duration matters but uninterrupted sleep matters more; look at the pattern of night feeds and focus on weaning off the feeding that will create the longest possible stretch of uninterrupted sleep for you (150)
- Start by weaning off one feeding rather than jumping in and trying to wean off all feedings at once (151)
Napping
- You’ll likely want to address naps after you’ve successfully established independent sleep at bedtime because bedtime is far easier (you can make mistakes and be inconsistent and still end up with a successful outcome) but naps are a greater challenge (177)
- You should expect it will take many days or weeks to fully establish independent nap sleep (178)
- Late afternoon or evening naps (even 5 to 10-minute car or boob naps) can throw off bedtime (40)
- At 3-6 months, naps can be highly variable but they will be more successful if they occur in the same dark, safe place every day with a consistent 10-15 minute pre-nap routine; this is a great age to focus on independent sleep; no more (or dramatically less frequent) naps on your lap, on your boob, in a baby carrier (165)
- As a parent, you have to accept that you can’t entirely control napping; kids can and will fight naps; some days will be terrible nap days, even if you do all the right things (169)
- As sleep becomes more predictable (usually between 4 and 9 months), you can segue from the Wake-Time-Method to the By-the-Clock-Method (napping at a specific time every day); this will create a predictable rhythm to your child’s wake/sleep pattern; before that, you can’t easily follow By-the-Clock because of variability in nap duration and the variability in the time your baby can be awake, which is constantly expanding such that the schedule that works today may not work next week (174-175)
- If your baby takes a brief (e.g., 20 minute) nap independently, naptime is over; sometimes parents feel the nap was too short and attempt to extend the nap; this rarely works out; a micronap is better than no nap so this mini-nap is a win (179)
- If the first two naps of the day were a bit of a slog, it’s often better to have the third nap happen on the go (stroller, car, babywearing) (180)
- Any independent sleep is a huge accomplishment–your child did something they couldn’t do before (181)
Miscellaneous
- Whereas adults have a mature sleep cycle of 90-110 minutes, a baby will cycle through sleep stages every 50 minutes (48)
- If you are crossing only one time zone for a brief time (less than week), consider keeping baby on your home time zone (207)
- For daylight savings, spread the time change across 4 days, shifting your child’s sleep earlier or later by 15 minutes a day (210)
“Yes, your child will have to figure out how to fall asleep without your ministrations. This is one of many skills they will have to figure out, and certainly not the last that will result in tears. Do you believe your child incapable of mastering a skill that literally every person on the planet before them has mastered? Of course not” (124)
May 17, 2024
This book was truly life changing. I have been so at a loss with what to do for night sleep for my sweet Velcro baby Genevieve. I am two weeks from when I began this method and she now goes down to bed with little to no tears. A complete 180 from an hour+ of tears on the first nights. I am amazed. Truly.
Some of this stuff is so logical, but when you’re a mom it feels so unintuitive and wrong, even though objectively it makes sense. Listening to the book I was like “duh. Why haven’t I tried this before?” But I just needed the push and the deadline of trying it for two weeks. I have been transformed!!!!!
Some of this stuff is so logical, but when you’re a mom it feels so unintuitive and wrong, even though objectively it makes sense. Listening to the book I was like “duh. Why haven’t I tried this before?” But I just needed the push and the deadline of trying it for two weeks. I have been transformed!!!!!
November 13, 2025
2.5. Listen. Some people cannot have their kids nap in the same place everyday because of daycare and I’m getting sick of literally everyone pretending that is not the truth for a lot of families.
I will be trying the swap method though to hopefully get baby to stop nursing to sleep so some points for that.
I will be trying the swap method though to hopefully get baby to stop nursing to sleep so some points for that.
June 12, 2018
This is the best, most useful baby sleep book out there. Throw away your copies of No Cry Sleep Solution, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems, even Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I’ve read every baby sleep book ever written (hello non-sleeping first born), and this is the only one you need.
June 11, 2019
I didn't love this book. The author has a prescriptive approach and many of the things she suggests as being "easy" or "difficult" don't match with our experience. There is a decent references section at the back but the way the book is written doesn't give me the impression that it is based on rigorous evidence. The author also uses a jocular writing style that fell pretty flat for me.
Perhaps I'm not the target audience, though; the author seems to assume that the reader is a female parent.
Perhaps I'm not the target audience, though; the author seems to assume that the reader is a female parent.
March 18, 2022
I’ve read this like 15 times over the past six months. I think I’ve memorized parts. Or would have if i wasn’t so sleep deprived. I’m in the fb group. I read the blog. I am a believer. We are so close. SO CLOSE to sleeping through the night.
January 18, 2022
Approachable and reasonable, this is the best sleep book and advice I’ve come across. Alexis addresses many common sleep problems with humour and troubleshoots plans that are both reasonable and effective.
January 5, 2024
Parenthood, according to this book, is supposed to be miserable. If I could give negative stars, I would.
December 18, 2025
As someone who desperately wanted scientific information on baby sleep and who is usually turned off by humor when I want something serious: This was excellent. And it was funny.
This book helped me understand the root causes of bad sleep for babies. It does cover sleep training, but it didn't hit me over the head with it; it provides multiple options for teaching your baby to sleep independently and you can choose one based on what makes you most comfortable. But it covers MUCH more - how to handle nightmares when your child is older, weaning off night feedings, when it's okay to go with the flow and when it's important to stick with a schedule for sleep, how to wean off pacifiers, the power of white noise, how to tell when your baby is tired, etc. It was exactly what I was looking for!
Honestly this book made me realize what a big deal sleep (and in particular, a sleep schedule) is for babies, and I had been really hesitant to call it a big deal because I was scared of how much research I'd have to do to understand it and how much work it would be to implement. But this book broke the news to me gently enough that I didn't feel overwhelmed. I'm actually excited to teach my baby how to sleep by herself even though it will take effort and likely feel hard!
I think my only outstanding question is still around naps, but it may be unanswerable - how many hours should my baby be napping during the day? And is the fact that it feels like that number fluctuates wildly okay? Does a bad day of napping = a bad night of sleep or a good night of sleep or neither? She does address that newborn sleep is wildly unpredictable but not the specifics of how those naps affect a baby's overnight sleep. That's my only quibble 🤷🏻♀️
This book helped me understand the root causes of bad sleep for babies. It does cover sleep training, but it didn't hit me over the head with it; it provides multiple options for teaching your baby to sleep independently and you can choose one based on what makes you most comfortable. But it covers MUCH more - how to handle nightmares when your child is older, weaning off night feedings, when it's okay to go with the flow and when it's important to stick with a schedule for sleep, how to wean off pacifiers, the power of white noise, how to tell when your baby is tired, etc. It was exactly what I was looking for!
Honestly this book made me realize what a big deal sleep (and in particular, a sleep schedule) is for babies, and I had been really hesitant to call it a big deal because I was scared of how much research I'd have to do to understand it and how much work it would be to implement. But this book broke the news to me gently enough that I didn't feel overwhelmed. I'm actually excited to teach my baby how to sleep by herself even though it will take effort and likely feel hard!
I think my only outstanding question is still around naps, but it may be unanswerable - how many hours should my baby be napping during the day? And is the fact that it feels like that number fluctuates wildly okay? Does a bad day of napping = a bad night of sleep or a good night of sleep or neither? She does address that newborn sleep is wildly unpredictable but not the specifics of how those naps affect a baby's overnight sleep. That's my only quibble 🤷🏻♀️
January 6, 2023
I really enjoyed this book! Especially after reading The Conscious Parent, which had a much dryer / less engaging tone, Precious Little Sleep packed a ton of information into an easy to follow pace. (Some would say the author of Precious Little Sleep goes overboard with little jokes and sidenotes to parents - but I appreciated it because the topic of sleep training is just… hard. A few corny jokes to keep people checked in and engaged is well worth it!)
I tabbed this book, I underlined it to heck, and I added mini Post-It notes for parts I really wanted to be able to reference (I write at the top of the Post-It note what the page/section is about - like "reduce SIDS" or "example sleep schedule" so I can flip directly to the one I want. This is different than the semi-transparent colored tabs I place basically anywhere I think there's valuable info.
If you have a newborn, baby, or toddler struggling with sleep (independent sleep, going to sleep, staying asleep) - give this book a try.
I tabbed this book, I underlined it to heck, and I added mini Post-It notes for parts I really wanted to be able to reference (I write at the top of the Post-It note what the page/section is about - like "reduce SIDS" or "example sleep schedule" so I can flip directly to the one I want. This is different than the semi-transparent colored tabs I place basically anywhere I think there's valuable info.
If you have a newborn, baby, or toddler struggling with sleep (independent sleep, going to sleep, staying asleep) - give this book a try.
January 4, 2025
When I tell you I was desperate, I mean desperate. There's a reason chronic sleep deprivation is torture.
We basically just needed someone - anyone - to tell us what to do. So Alexis Dubief did just that.
Though not necessarily new or profound, it was practical and digestible enough I could speed listen and have fully actionable takeaways.
And those takeaways really did a ton to highlight the changes we could make to sleep coaching buddy - changes that Praise the Lord helped us understand and progress in the department of getting him to sleep so we could start clawing back our own.
We basically just needed someone - anyone - to tell us what to do. So Alexis Dubief did just that.
Though not necessarily new or profound, it was practical and digestible enough I could speed listen and have fully actionable takeaways.
And those takeaways really did a ton to highlight the changes we could make to sleep coaching buddy - changes that Praise the Lord helped us understand and progress in the department of getting him to sleep so we could start clawing back our own.
June 7, 2022
5 stars for content, 3 for organization. I wish chapters and plans were done more by age than topic but otherwise super helpful. I would recommend combining reading this book, and Babywise, for a full understanding on sleep training.
Implemented sleep training with my 8 week old and she cried for one bedtime, which was super hard, but then she slept through both of her nightly feedings that night, giving us a 9 hour stretch. Thought it was a fluke but it happened again the night after with no crying at bedtime the second night. She woke up a much happier/well rested baby.
Implemented sleep training with my 8 week old and she cried for one bedtime, which was super hard, but then she slept through both of her nightly feedings that night, giving us a 9 hour stretch. Thought it was a fluke but it happened again the night after with no crying at bedtime the second night. She woke up a much happier/well rested baby.
October 27, 2025
Overall this is a super informative guide on how babies sleep and how to help them be successful in independent sleep. I HIGHLY recommend reading it whilst pregnant/your baby is a newborn, but it’s helpful at any age.
My baby is too young to try the sleep training outlined in the book, so will report back in a couple of months.
My only criticism (and why it’s four stars instead of five) is that the book would be significantly more helpful if there was section outlining what to do at each age. Right now you have to go through each chapter and parse that out for yourself (and often the age isn’t directly stated - it took me awhile to realise she defined a newborn as younger than 12 weeks). I would love an index or section describing 0-4 weeks, 4-8 weeks, etc.
ChatGPT is a great (and yes planet destroying, but I’m a sleep deprived new parent, okay?) resource to sum up the book into actionable methods/plans based on age.
Also there is no longer a Facebook group, it’s now a fee-based community website, which is a bit disappointing.
My baby is too young to try the sleep training outlined in the book, so will report back in a couple of months.
My only criticism (and why it’s four stars instead of five) is that the book would be significantly more helpful if there was section outlining what to do at each age. Right now you have to go through each chapter and parse that out for yourself (and often the age isn’t directly stated - it took me awhile to realise she defined a newborn as younger than 12 weeks). I would love an index or section describing 0-4 weeks, 4-8 weeks, etc.
ChatGPT is a great (and yes planet destroying, but I’m a sleep deprived new parent, okay?) resource to sum up the book into actionable methods/plans based on age.
Also there is no longer a Facebook group, it’s now a fee-based community website, which is a bit disappointing.
June 22, 2020
Very enjoyable read (as far as you can enjoy reading a nonfiction book when you re sleep deprived and at your wits ends about how to help your child get the sleep their need for health and happiness...).
I have not yet implemented any of the advice in the book (I might update this review later ) , but it gets 4 stars for the tone. Very refreshing, absolutely judgment free (not just pretending...). I d recommend to any parent who feel they are obsessing about sleep (probably 60% of parents).
I have not yet implemented any of the advice in the book (I might update this review later ) , but it gets 4 stars for the tone. Very refreshing, absolutely judgment free (not just pretending...). I d recommend to any parent who feel they are obsessing about sleep (probably 60% of parents).
September 18, 2025
10 months of terrible sleep and less than 2 weeks of trying some of the things in this book and have already seen huge improvements using the fuss it out method from this book.
Baby now sleeps independently, is less tired, and i've got the longest stretches of sleep since pregnancy. Honestly wish I'd done this a few months earlier.
Baby now sleeps independently, is less tired, and i've got the longest stretches of sleep since pregnancy. Honestly wish I'd done this a few months earlier.
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September 21, 2025I don't really feel qualified to rate this book, as I pretty much skipped every part that didn't contain information that was useful to me. There was a lotttttt of fluff, but also a lot of good info. Hopefully I'm actually able to implement some of these strategies cuz right now it feels kind of impossible lol
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