How to Twist a Dragon's Tale

How to Train Your Dragon #5

by Cressida Cowell

Read the HILARIOUS books that inspired the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON films!

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is a smallish Viking with a longish name. Hiccup's father is chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe which means Hiccup is the Hope and the Heir to the Hairy Hooligan throne - but most of the time Hiccup feels like a very ordinary boy, finding it hard to be a Hero.

Over on Lava-Lout Island, the volcano is ready to blow. Now Hiccup faces a terrifying Quest to Stop the Volcano Exploding, alongside his best friend Fishlegs and Humungously Hotshot the ex-Hero.

But not only is Lava-Lout Island full of EXTERMINATOR DRAGONS, Hiccup's ARCH ENEMY is also lurking - and he's seeking REVENGE!

***Please note this ebook is TEXT ONLY and does not include the illustrations that appear in the printed book.***

READ ALL 12 BOOKS IN THE SERIES!
You don't have to read the books in order, but if you want to, this is the right order:
1. How to Train Your Dragon
2. How to Be a Pirate
3. How to Speak Dragonese
4. How to Cheat a Dragon's Curse
5. How to Twist a Dragon's Tale
6. A Hero's Guide to Deadly Dragons
7. How to Ride a Dragon's Storm
8. How to Break a Dragon's Heart
9. How to Steal a Dragon's Sword
10. How to Seize a Dragon's Jewel
11. How to Betray a Dragon's Hero
12. How to Fight a Dragon's Fury

How to Train Your Dragon is now a major DreamWorks franchise starring Gerard Butler, Cate Blanchett and Jonah Hill and the TV series, Riders of Berk, can be seen on CBeebies and Cartoon Network.

Genres: Fantasy, Dragons, Fiction, Childrens, Audiobook, Middle Grade, Adventure

273 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 20, 2007

About the author

Cressida Cowell grew up in London and on a small, uninhabited island off the west coast of Scotland. She was convinced that there were dragons living on this island, and has been fascinated by dragons ever since. She has a BA in English Literature from Oxford University, a BA in Graphic Design from St Martin's and an MA in Narrative Illustration from Brighton. Cressida loves illustrating her own work, but also loves writing books for other people to illustrate as the end result can be so unexpected and inspiring. Cressida has written and illustrated eight books in the popular Hiccup series. The unique blend of child centred humour and sublime prose made Hiccup an instant hit. How to Train Your Dragon is now published in over 30 languages. A DreamWorks Animation feature film is out in March 2010. Also the author of picture books, Cressida has won the Nestle Children's Book Prize 2006 and has been shortlisted for many others. Cressida lives in Hammersmith with her husband and three children.

Her Books:
1. How to Train Your Dragon (2003)
2. How to Be a Pirate (2004)
3. How to Speak Dragonese (2005)
4. How to Cheat a Dragon’s Curse (2006)
5. How to Twist a Dragon’s Tale (2007)
6. A Hero’s Guide to Deadly Dragons (2008)
7. How to Ride a Dragon’s Storm (2008)
8. How to Break a Dragon’s Heart (2010)
9. How to Steal a Dragon's Sword (2011)
10. How to Seize a Dragon's Jewel (2012)

Reviews

[Sara Saif · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would like to say a few words:
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
“HA-HA-HA-HA!”

Despite the predictable and uncomplicated plot and the familiar pattern in which these books are written, they absolutely NEVER fail to entertain. How To Twist A Dragon’s Tale introduced a new dragon species, a new Viking tribe, a new character (Humungously Hotshot, the famous hero), and a new threat just like its predecessors with no shortage of hysterically funny bits.

Surprisingly, I felt a little something akin to sadness at the end. We discover that Hiccup’s mother used to love Humungus but the two lovers were separated by fate and the piece of shit that is Alvin the Treacherous. What saddened me is the fact that in the epilogue, Hiccup admitted that Valhallarama still loved him till she died!

The Vikings are a loveable bunch. Two things I particularly enjoy every time are:
1. The way they describe their women.
“Her lovely fat, white, muscly legs! Her thunderous thighs! Her soft little beard! Her excellent sword-arm!”
And
2. The swearing.
“BY WODEN AND THE LOVELY FLOWING ARMPITS OF FREYA!”
“THIGHSLAPS OF THOR!”
“BY THOR’S THIGHSTRINGS!”
“SWEET CHEST HAIR OF THOR!”

“The Hero cares not for a wild winter’s storm. For it carries him swift on the back of the wave. All may be lost and our hearts may be worn. But a hero fights forever!”

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

[Emma Ann]

This is the first Hiccup book I read, years and years ago. Coincidentally, it’s also the point where the series takes its first turn into the really good stuff.

”And I shall turn all the flowers and small things into cinders and beautiful dust.”

[Abigail McKenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

re-read 2025:
I really love this particular installment but WOW does it jump up a notch on the intensity

re-read 2018:
Stoick is so in love with Valhallarama and my heart can't take it

[Kalina Mincheva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Големи образи са тия викинги. А премеждията на Хълцук и Беззъбчо стават все по-шантави и динамични, но не по-малко забавни и увлекателни. В тази конкретно история ще ви стане така горещо, че ще забравите дъждовния сезон, който вилнее отвън в реалността 😁

[SuperHeroQwimm · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite one so far

[Gaele · Rating 5 out of 5]

AudioBook Review:
Stars: Overall: 5 Narration: 5 Story: 5

It has been such a treat to dive into this series, I love discovering all about Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, and his early life as he navigates the learning curve on his way to becoming the foremost authority on all things Dragon. Hiccup is so unlike other ‘heroes’ that are common in children’s stories: he is a very ordinary boy with an extraordinary thirst for knowledge, a near-encyclopaedic recall of naturist and dragon facts and information, and a decided lack of athletic skills. With his best friend Fishlegs and his asthmatic, exzema and allergin prone skin, knock-knees and glasses, a more uncharacteristic Viking could only be Hiccup’s best buddy.

In this story, the young trainees (still in their training with Gobber the Belch) are learning how to herd reindeer from the back of riding dragons. Again, Toothless is predominant in this story – his constant nattering and complaining are perfectly inset into the story to provide comic relief at the worst time possible: always.

When the trainees are set upon by some Exterminator dragons, and a huge fire is the result, the boys must run from the flames, sure to take their lives. Fortunately they are saved at the last minute by a ‘hero’ who just may not be all he seems. Again it is up to Hiccup, Fishlegs, his best ‘girl’ friend Camicazi to save the day.

There is a comfortable balance in these stories: you know the characters, you understand just what motivates Hiccup, and you find something new in the character of Horrendously Hotshot and Hiccup’s mother Valhallarama. A series sure to bring giggles, it is fast becoming a favorite listen because of the stellar narration performance provided by David Tennant.

You can’t go wrong with an actor who has voiced the characters with distinct tones and delivery, a stuttering slightly lisping Toothless, the sing-song from Wales in Camicazi, the simpering north-of-England tone of the villains, the brash heavy brogue from Gobber the Belch, Snotlout, and others. Tennant never ceases to provide that little ‘extra’ that hold a reader’s attention.

This story is the turning point, we know that these books are Hiccup’s memoirs written when he is older, as he recounts his life: this book is the one that starts to mark the line between childhood adventures and growing into the man he becomes (a tiny spoiler as I’ve already heard the next few books in the series!).


I received an audio CD download from Hachette Audio for purpose of honest review. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.

[McKenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I need to stop reading these books the day I get them because then I just want the next one immediately and don’t have it. I don’t know how to describe this series other than, simply, spell-binding. I keep wanting to reread the books I do have in preparation for the arrival of the books I don’t! How to Twist a Dragon’s Tale was yet another amazing installment in a series that is quickly becoming one of my all-time favorites. Cressida Cowell keeps raising the stakes higher and higher for Hiccup and Toothless and I’m eager to see where she takes them during the remainder of the series.

[Ken W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook version… this continues to be a super fun series with some of the greatest narration I’ve heard on an audiobook! 4.5 stars rounded up to five!

[DaNae · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm wondering if these are as hilarious without David Tennants narration? I laughed so hard through the sequence where Toothless tries his hand as reindeer-herder, I almost drove right off the road.

[Anthony Buck · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the better entries in the series. Very funny and exciting with some great new elements alongside the familiar characters. Definitely recommended, particularly to share with children aged 8-11

[lj ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Human hearts are not made out of stone.
Thank Thor.
They can break, and heal, and beat again.”

Note: this is a reread, I originally read this book when I was about nine, but I'm reading the series aloud to my little brother, and I find it much easier to read aloud books that I've read recently.

~ Stats ~

Title: How to Twist a Dragon's Tale (How to Train Your Dragon series, #5)
The title makes sense in a cool, double-meaning sort of way.
Author: Cressida Cowell
Genre: Historical-middle-grade-fantasy? It's set in the Viking era, but it's entirely fictional, with dragons and the like.
Age Recommendation: 7+ (More advanced six-year-olds may enjoy this, but I can't see any six-year-olds I know getting through this book.)


~ Characters ~

★★★★ -- 4 stars

As always, the star of this book is Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third. When I review the first book, I'll touch on more about his character, but I want to discuss his development. Hiccup hasn't changed all that much yet -- just realizing his strengths (his cleverness) and how terribly terrifying the world can be.

Then we've got Hiccup's loyal sidekick, Fishlegs. I love this guy. In this book, he struggles a bit with feeling like a burden, but it's never quite explored. I know we'll dive deeper into that in the next few books.

Of course, my favorite character, Camicazi is back. I love her tiny size and tangled blonde hair, her cheerfulness at the thought of certain death, her incredible burglary skills. She was an excellent addition to a male-heavy series, and offers her own share of comic relief as well.

Toothless also accompanies the gang on this adventure, and goes through some change! When he messes up an important job, he really tries the next time, understanding that Hiccup trusts him with tough jobs, and is successful. I think this moment might be the beginning of his undying loyalty to Hiccup.

Then there are some more background-ish, familiar characters: Hiccup's dad, the Chief of the Tribe, Stoick the Vast; his mom Valhallarama, (whose backstory is deepened considerably in this book); Hiccup's grandfather, Old Wrinkly, an unreliable soothsayer and medicine man; and of course, Hiccup's nemesis, Alvin the Treacherous.

We also meet a new and very important character for this book -- Humungously Hotshot the Hero. He is an extremely skilled Hero in all but one area: singing, and his tale intertwines with Hiccup's far more than he ever imagined.

I love these characters. I love journeying with them, watching them grow, as they face more and more danger. They change and develop slowly yet surely, never all at once, never in an unrealistically fast manner.

“You see how good and evil are twisted together?
Like a golden dragon bracelet snaking brightly about a person's arm.”

~ Plot ~

★★★★✫ -- 4.5 stars

The summer on Berk is ridiculously hot, and Hiccup has a feeling that something's wrong. When super-powerful Exterminator dragons set a hillside on fire, Hiccup knows something's wrong. And it turns out that he's right. Because, on Lava Lout Island, the Volcano, dormant for ages, is now active, and will erupt any second now...

Meanwhile, Humungous, a former Hero with a tragic story, has become Hiccup's Bardiguard. And there's something about his tale that seems vaguely familiar...

Meanwhile, Stoick the Vast is becoming quite frustrated with how perfect Humungous is at everything. Nobody listens to him anymore, and he's the Chief of the Tribe!

Meanwhile, one of Hiccup's old nemeses is back... and he has a deadly plan.


This book takes the twistiest journey of the series so far, with multiple plot threads weaving around each other, and eventually connecting satisfyingly. (In later books, this seems simple, though! The plots definitely get more complex as the series continues.)

Although the plot might not make much scientific sense (rocks releasing chemicals to stop a volcano?) it is immensely enjoyable to read. And the ending is so exciting, so climactic, it's just... amazing!

~ Setting ~

★★★★★ -- 5 stars

As always, I love Cowell's Barbaric Archipelago. Berk is so vividly imagined, with the bog and the heather and the rain, rain, constant rain. In this book we see a different side of Berk -- the sweltering, unusual heat. Cowell's descriptions of it are enough to practically make me start sweating. And the new island that our heroes travel to -- Lava-Lout Island -- is fantastically unsettling, I love it!

“And now that its ruby eyes are set into the gold, you cannot see their tear-shape, so they seem to be laughing rather than crying. It is a constant reminder to me of the human ability to create something beautiful even when things are at the darkest.”

~ Style/Format ~

★★★★✫ -- 4.5 stars

The writing style, as always, is comical and fun, yet descriptive when it comes to the terrifying. I love the illustrations as well, interspersed throughout the book. They add a silly element and their rough style well represents the barbaric, heroic spirit of these books.

~ Theme ~

★★★★ -- 4 stars

This series and theme have an interesting relationship. I love their interesting exploration of morality, and its greyness, in this book. As a whole, they are children's books, and so the themes are not ridiculously advanced or subtle, at least not yet. But at the same time, they aren't preachy or heavy on theme, at least not in my opinion, because the serious themes are contrasted with humor and crazy action scenes. I think it's done beautifully.

~ General Thoughts ~

A solid installment in a beloved series, with a fun and twisty plot that includes action, riddles, and mysterious and tragic backstories. (We'd heard so much about Stoick in the last few books -- I'm glad Valhallarama got the spotlight this time around!)

Overall rating -- ★★★★ 4 stars

“The Hero cares not for a wild winter's storm.
For it carries him swift on the back of the wave.
All may be lost and our hearts may be worn,
but a Hero fights forever."

[Sophia · Rating 4 out of 5]

How To Twist a Dragon's Tale is a story about a very hot summer, a 'few' blood thirsty dragons and one tiny Fire Stone! It is also about a lost love and a bracelet that has one ruby eye (I feel like the title for this book is actually based on that bracelet). We met a new character in this book, one that is on a mission...to destroy Hiccup! Although he was once a Great Hero and two sides of himself are warring against each other. You also get to see some OG characters. Hiccup's mum has a rare appearance and you learn a little something about her as well! Something BIG happens while Hiccup is on a Quest but Alvin's of course in the story and he's up to his usual tricks and villainy. To me things fall into place just a little too easily at the end. Everything was falling apart and things looked really bad for Hiccup then all of a sudden everything changed in his favor. Not sure if I'm just being nit-picky though. Overall, another great tale of one of Hiccup's adventures. And these Epilogues, man, they are getting better and better! I can't help but read the last lines over again as I write this review, it is so good!!

[Zaz · Rating 2 out of 5]

After the previous volume, reading this one was like being thrown in a pit of boredom. I found the plot quite lame and impossible to believe with all the nonsense about stopping a volcanic eruption. The outcome was also very convenient (very). The various events were so uninteresting that in the deep of the action, my brain made me take a nap (and I had a nightmare!). Overall, I'm not sure this time Hiccup was the hero because he didn't really do something, except the usual wanting to save the day, and Toothless participated only a little. The new dragons were on the too much side to make them really interesting, so they didn't save the day for me. I hope the next one will be entertaining.

[Jaslyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one is slightly darker than the others, mainly because the end of the world is at hand and it's a Big Deal (bigger stakes! Murderous dragons! A volcano about to erupt!). But it's just as fun and wacky as the first four. The addition of Humongous Hotshot the Hero did make me laugh a little too much, and the way Cowell fleshes out the backstories of certain other characters was a LOT of fun to watch. The sadness in this one is made up for in Book 6, though, which is mostly fun and games (though creatively painful death IS a threat in that one, too).

[Stefanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love in a children's book when the parents are real people with histories.

[Jaiden Phillips · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to admit this one didn't make me laugh as much as the other ones, but it definitely had me covered in the action department😉

Language: One or two uses of 'he' double hockey stick as in referring to down under. And one use of h*ck.

Violence: Some fight scenes, nothing too detailed tho.

Magic: N/A

Like I said, I didn’t laugh as much with this one, but it sure did deliver some thrilling fight scenes and adventure-y action!!! It started out with a bang which had me invested then it slowed down a little but about halfway through it picked itself back up and had me on the edge of my seat again!💖😉
First off I have to say I love how this book shows that Gobber and Stoick actually do care, even if it seems like they don't half the time, they do have hearts! The scene with Gobber tho, just wow, he does care about the boys! Too sweet💖 i have to say, that scene was my absolute favorite part of this book! Very well-done!!
And the second half of the book was very nice! The action, the dragons, the volcano, the awesome fight scene! Ahhh! So awesome!!! I also love the Windwalker and hope to see more of him, and maybe even learn more about his past? He's so sweet, I wanna give him a hug because he really needs one! The poor little guy!💖💖🥺
Overall, great theme of never turning your back on the people you care about, even when it seems they've turned they're back on you! Very enjoyable adventure, the last half had me cheering on the gang and biting my nails! Another fun adventure with Hiccup and Toothless!💖

7+

[amanda luke ✡︎ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I liked the epilogue most of all.

[Adi]

i really really enjoyed this one! probably my favorite since the second one. there was a lot going on and i liked all of it (spoilers ahead):

- humongously hotshot. famous hero! reluctant assassin! heartbroken lover! master swordfighter! skilled metalworker! terrible singer! the man does it all and he does it with style. i love an assassination attempt failing because of the assassin's moral compass; here, we get like 5 of those in a row. literally what more could i ask for.

- the EGG. not much detail to this one; it's just always a good day when a small round object turns out to be an egg.

- old wrinkly in the hole

- camicazi gets to be in this one! to be fair she's been in every book since she was introduced, but every time i go in worrying that she won't appear. now i can probably rest easy and just assume she'll be in every book from here on out. thank god. i love hiccup & co. but it is really lovely for there to be a Girl. she doesn't even have to do much; her mere presence (e.g. appearing for 20 or so pages to be kind of obnoxious and irritating) makes me unduly happy.

- volcanoes are cool

- toothless genuinely trying to be good during the reindeer-herding lesson; being overcome by temptation; and then genuinely feeling bad for messing things up. character growth!

- the epilogue in this one made me cry. we've been foreshadowing it for weeks with the almost-tears, but this one actually finished the job. cressida cowell you hold so much power over me; i am but a jester dancing when you say dance; i would die for you.

yes i'm aware i just listed most of the things that were/happened in the book. lastly and most importantly the, like, underlying themes slapped so hard it's not even funny. humongous and valhallarma's story is so fucking good. it's such a classic doomed love narrative, made better because there's no happy ending and no real resolution.

sometimes you love a person and you don't ever get to be with them. maybe you get over them; or maybe you carry your feelings for them with you for the rest of your life. maybe you never open your heart quite the same way again; maybe that pain can't ever be healed. but it doesn't make your love for the person you're with now any less meaningful. life goes on.

god it's !!!! in my brain. and that's just valhallarma's version! meanwhile, humongous was lied to and poisoned for years but his essential good nature won out over all of that. he was in inhumane circumstances but he never lost sight of himself. and he was able to do in the end what valhallarma couldn't do for him, by saving her son from a horrible fate.

and there isn't even a question of their meeting again! the intersection of their paths ended long ago. it's been fifteen years; this isn't that terrible book my friend spent half an hour complaining to me about earlier today, where two people are still somehow in love with each other after ten years with no contact. i saw a post a while back that was like, "permanence isn't the only measure of success" and this book really digs into that concept; the whole series does, actually. nothing lasts forever but there is so much value in the ephemeral. relationships end; ages end; stories end; but they each leave their mark. like alvin's increasingly scarred body, we cannot escape unscathed from the thing that really matter.

like i said: it fucks so hard!!! sorry for swearing in this review of a children's book. i will not apologize for writing so much about this book because it was very good and everyone SHOULD know all my thoughts about it, acutally.

[Deborah Pickstone · Rating 4 out of 5]

More heroic antics with Hiccup, Fishlegs, Toothless and Camicazi. Quite entertaining.

[Sophia · Rating 5 out of 5]

the dragon has two 💖💖 and you get to hear them sing. Allan is back and everything is funny XD not the lol funny, but still funny.

[Cori · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love these books. The big question is: Do I buy hard copies for my library, or do I buy the audible versions to keep hearing David Tennant, or do I buy both?

[Sherwestonstec · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another wonderful How To Train Your Dragon book! The narration by David Tennant is, as always, fantastic!

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do think these books are getting better as the series goes on. I really appreciate the Valhallarama becomes a more fleshed-out character in this one - and a mighty Viking Hero at that, as it should be! ⭐

I also look forward to more of the Windwalker - he was a sweetheart who didn't say much but acted much the opposite of Toothless - brave and loyal, protective and determined despite his lil limp and everything!

🐉🌋 🥚

[Maggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

the nostalgia has got to me

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, my mind's not really in optimal review state right now, because:

a. Someone took out all the sticky tab markers I had put in to remind myself what parts I wanted to touch on, which has filled me with RAEG.
b. I had oral (heh) surgery this morning and am in a bit of pain, and
c. The pain med I took has some extreme drowsy-making side effects. My eyes keep closing...

But I will try my bestest.

First, a disclaimer. I'm well aware that I'm the only person in the world who reads the Hiccup books and is both older than 14 and not a parent. But oh well.

It's been a while since I'd checked out this series. I only read the first one because my little brother owned it, it was lying around, and I was bored. I enjoyed it a lot, and therefore read the next 3, which he also owned. But, sad of sads, those were the only ones I had access to.

Now I've made the effort to get caught up in the series, and I'm just slightly disappointed. Maybe I'm judging this harshly because book four was seriously the epitome of all things awesome, but... nope, I'm being completely fair. This one was a cut below the others.

I hate Camicazi. She's such a dumb, worthless character. I have the vague notion that she exists out of some misguided feminist ideas running around the author's head? News flash: decent fighting skills and an obnoxious personality does not a strong female character make. I really, really need a break from Camicazi. Must she be in every book? She's starting to get more page time than Fishlegs! Fishlegs, whom I love!

(Toothless has also become too annoying. I liked him better in the early books, when he was endearingly selfish. Now he's just unendearingly stupid.)

Maybe I've put too much faith in Hiccup's ability to hatch up a Fiendishly Clever Plan. Maybe I will never-love-again after the sheer amazingness of the end of Book 4. But whatever the case may be, I felt let down by the ending. I didn't feel like pieces were being put together, I felt like the author came up with a random twist and then tried to convince me it was clever.

Yeah, I've only said negative things. Three stars should warrant a nicer review. I think I've let nostalgia (and the fact that I keep comparing it to its AWESOME predecessor) get in the way of just enjoying the story. This was by no means an awful Hiccup book, it just wasn't particularly good. Pretty standard fare.

Totes reading the next one, though.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another fantastic installment of Hiccup, Toothless, and their adventures. And another top-notch reading by David Tennant. I am SO SAD that my library doesn't have any more of the series in audio books. Tennant was truly brilliant in these, and I don't know that the voices in my head can even come close to his...but I'm going to try, because I just enjoy this series so much! I even have two of my library helpers at school reading it now!

Hiccup, Fishlegs, and Camicazi grow up a little bit with each book, and so each book is a little more dangerous, a little more emotional, a little bit deeper. This one dives a little deeper into the character and backstory of Hiccup's mother (who has been mostly just a name in previous books), and we get a really emotional piece about her in the epilogue. Still TONS of humor, though, and lots of adventure.

[Yvonne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hiccup Horrendus Haddock the Third has to face another adventure in this book - if he wants to or not. It depends on him to save not only his tribe but all the other tribes from a horrible threat.

Another great book in this series that not only children enjoy, I'm certainly looking forward to the next one.

Of course it helps that I'm listening to the audio books and they are read by David Tennant - who has one of those voices, he could read the phone book to me and I'd listen. He does a great job at bringing the characters to life, with different voices and even accents for them, it's a pleasure to listen to it.

[Brigid ✩ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whoaaa this one was intense. Also surprisingly depressing at the end ... ??? But anyway, I really liked it and I will write a real review at some point. (I have like 40 reviews that I haven't written yet. I'm the worst.)

[Stella · Rating 5 out of 5]

EDIT/ that epilogue (every time)

also... see below
-

Hey if you haven't listened to David Tennant singing a very loud and off-key viking song as Hummongously Hotshot the Hero, you haven't lived