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How Hard It Really Is: A Short, Honest Book About Depression
Depression is a rumor, until it is reality, and then it's as if nothing else was ever real.
Still, no one will believe you. I find it hard to believe it myself.
This book is for those who believe, and for those who want to.
Depression is encased in misconceptions. The pain of going through a mental illness is already hard enough; to add myths only make it that much more unbearable.
By investigating the mystery of depression, it's possible to remove some of the fog around the fog. It's in sharing what we go through that we are empowered to make it through together.
This book is a conversation so we can talk differently about depression, with the thoughtfulness it deserves.It is for both the person wrestling with depression and for those who want to help.
How Hard It Really Is covers:
• The science behind depression
• The helpful (and unhelpful) dialogue around mental illness
• The debate between seeing it as a choice and disease
• Stories of survivors
• A secret culture of suicide worship
• An interview with a depressed doctor
• The problem with finding a "cure"
• A myriad of voices from nearly two-hundred surveys conducted over a year
Still, no one will believe you. I find it hard to believe it myself.
This book is for those who believe, and for those who want to.
Depression is encased in misconceptions. The pain of going through a mental illness is already hard enough; to add myths only make it that much more unbearable.
By investigating the mystery of depression, it's possible to remove some of the fog around the fog. It's in sharing what we go through that we are empowered to make it through together.
This book is a conversation so we can talk differently about depression, with the thoughtfulness it deserves.It is for both the person wrestling with depression and for those who want to help.
How Hard It Really Is covers:
• The science behind depression
• The helpful (and unhelpful) dialogue around mental illness
• The debate between seeing it as a choice and disease
• Stories of survivors
• A secret culture of suicide worship
• An interview with a depressed doctor
• The problem with finding a "cure"
• A myriad of voices from nearly two-hundred surveys conducted over a year
202 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 8, 2017
390 people are currently reading
412 people want to read
About the author
J.S. Park
11 books206 followersJ.S. Park is a hospital chaplain, former atheist/agnostic, sixth degree black belt, suicide survivor, Korean-American, and follows Christ.
J.S. currently serves at a 1000+ bed hospital, one of the top-ranked in the nation, and was also a chaplain for three years at one of the largest nonprofit charities for the homeless on the east coast.
J.S. has a B.A. in Psychology from the University of South Florida and a M.Div from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.
Some duties of a hospital chaplain include grief counseling, attending every death and Code Blue, help with end-of-life decision-making, notifying family members of loved ones in the ER, and advocating for patients and families in crisis.
J.S. is author of an upcoming book, As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve, part hospital chaplain experience and part memoir, published by W Publishing of HarperCollins Christian Publishing. He is also the author The Voices We Carry: Finding Your One True Voice in a World of Clamor and Noise, published by Northfield/Moody.
In 2012, J.S. gave away half his income to fight human trafficking.
It was a check for $10,000, which was matched to raise another 10k, for a total of $20,000 for charity. The charity was One Day's Wages.
J.S. currently serves at a 1000+ bed hospital, one of the top-ranked in the nation, and was also a chaplain for three years at one of the largest nonprofit charities for the homeless on the east coast.
J.S. has a B.A. in Psychology from the University of South Florida and a M.Div from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.
Some duties of a hospital chaplain include grief counseling, attending every death and Code Blue, help with end-of-life decision-making, notifying family members of loved ones in the ER, and advocating for patients and families in crisis.
J.S. is author of an upcoming book, As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve, part hospital chaplain experience and part memoir, published by W Publishing of HarperCollins Christian Publishing. He is also the author The Voices We Carry: Finding Your One True Voice in a World of Clamor and Noise, published by Northfield/Moody.
In 2012, J.S. gave away half his income to fight human trafficking.
It was a check for $10,000, which was matched to raise another 10k, for a total of $20,000 for charity. The charity was One Day's Wages.
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
July 25, 2017
"Some will find my earlier description of depression to be difficult to read because it's so painful. Others will find it difficult to read because it's so over-the-top."
The moment I opened the book and read the C.S Lewis quote that precedes the book, my eyes welled with tears. "At the moment what I heard was God saying, 'Put down your gun and we’ll talk."
I'm 22-years-old. I've dealt with depression on and off since I was around 10-years-old. I needed this book to know I'm not alone in this struggle and I never have been. This was in no way an easy book to read. But it is extremely important. It is exactly what it says it is: short and honest.
The moment I opened the book and read the C.S Lewis quote that precedes the book, my eyes welled with tears. "At the moment what I heard was God saying, 'Put down your gun and we’ll talk."
I'm 22-years-old. I've dealt with depression on and off since I was around 10-years-old. I needed this book to know I'm not alone in this struggle and I never have been. This was in no way an easy book to read. But it is extremely important. It is exactly what it says it is: short and honest.
November 28, 2017
From the moment I started reading, I found it very difficult to put this book down (apart from needing to sleep so that I could read it when I woke up again). Reading this book has been like sitting in the company of one who has trudged through — and still is — through the watery chaos of depression. The solidarity he offers through his words, ultimately culminating in a humbling pointer back to Jesus, have been like a rock I can climb up onto until I find how to swim back to shore.
J.S. Park has undoubtedly been given the gift of honesty and elucidation that helps to shed light on such a misunderstood and hazy subject. In his own words, to “remove some of the fog around the fog.”
J.S. Park has undoubtedly been given the gift of honesty and elucidation that helps to shed light on such a misunderstood and hazy subject. In his own words, to “remove some of the fog around the fog.”
July 26, 2017
It is what it says it is: a short, honest book about depression. And I just appreciate the author's sympathetic approach throughout the whole book. He suffered it and made a brave choice to write about it, to let others have an idea how hard it really is. I appreciate the effort of his research, to try to explain the somewhat indescribable mental illness. This book made me want to reach out more to the depressives I know. It made me a whole lot of a friend that knows what to do, or even what not to do when someone I know is suffering. This book can save a life. It makes one realize that he is not the only one who think and feel such things; which can be his string of hope - his hope upon believing that "God is in the business of breathing life into hurting places."
February 11, 2024
I appreciated the author’s perspective and the way he explores this as an Asian American Christian who suffers with depression. He dug into different aspects of the topic with honesty and a desire to really help people understand (if they had never experienced depression personally) and to feel less alone (if they had). His personal experiences helped enrich the book, in terms of grappling a bit with how faith interacts with depression and also how hard it can be when different communities have a hard time accepting that depression is real or see it as personal failure. I also liked how he entered into a few tricky areas of the discussion in a way that really tried to be fair even when people might not like what he had to say.
September 17, 2023
Highly recommend! This book is for both readers, the depressed and the non-depressed. As someone who has struggled with severe depression my whole life, this book really opens your eyes to “it’s really not me, it’s the disease.” Because of how well written the book was, I followed the author and am looking forward to my next read of his!
April 25, 2021
Quick, relatable read. Gives vocabulary to a difficult to talk about topic. Didn’t prefer the writing style - full of “it’s like...” examples. Had no idea people fake depression. Was C.S. Lewis known for being depressed? Going to research.
November 6, 2019
I could have done without all the God/Christianity references; the title/description fail to indicate how much Park relies on religion in this book. I guess I should have inferred it from his job as a pastor. I don’t think this book adds much to what’s already out there about depression.
April 2, 2023
Spot on accurate. I’ve dealt with depression my entire life, it often feels. Each person is different but oh I knew exactly what the author meant.
March 19, 2021
This book was on a list recommended to me during a serious bout of depression I experienced, and I have to be honest: I picked it because it seemed short and that was all the energy I had.
It turned out to be an incredible read; it's the equivalent of talking to a veteran of depression who's able to tell you that everything is ok, not for you to stay in your depression but for you to realize your current state is reactionary and maybe even inexplicable. That realization is critical first step for you to start seeking help, either on your own or from others.
It turned out to be an incredible read; it's the equivalent of talking to a veteran of depression who's able to tell you that everything is ok, not for you to stay in your depression but for you to realize your current state is reactionary and maybe even inexplicable. That realization is critical first step for you to start seeking help, either on your own or from others.
December 26, 2019
Food for thought
I felt the author was very good about fact checking things he shared, but I felt there was something lacking. I definitely skipped a couple parts because I didn’t care to read some of the longer sections that went on. There is some very good information in here and I feel like this book could be helpful for people who have not suffered depression to understand some things better, but I don’t feel I really gained anything from it myself.
I felt the author was very good about fact checking things he shared, but I felt there was something lacking. I definitely skipped a couple parts because I didn’t care to read some of the longer sections that went on. There is some very good information in here and I feel like this book could be helpful for people who have not suffered depression to understand some things better, but I don’t feel I really gained anything from it myself.
April 3, 2022
I bought this book online only seeing the cover. When it arrived in the mail and I saw it was written by a hospital chaplain I was planning to dismiss it.
I read it over 3 days and throughly enjoyed the authors writing style and perspective. Although religion is mentioned it is often as a way to say religion isn’t really important at all in the grand scheme of things when it comes to illness.
The book was well researched and entertaining.
I read it over 3 days and throughly enjoyed the authors writing style and perspective. Although religion is mentioned it is often as a way to say religion isn’t really important at all in the grand scheme of things when it comes to illness.
The book was well researched and entertaining.
January 13, 2023
I didn’t think I would like this book, because I’m agnostic. But although the author is a pastor, I love his viewpoint that God is there for those who believe as support and guidance, and not as a cure. He never pushed to treat depression in one way or another, because the disease is different for everyone.
The length was perfect, with both moments of opinions, information, and memoir. Beautifully written.
The length was perfect, with both moments of opinions, information, and memoir. Beautifully written.
7not-reading-or-interested
February 17, 2020A mental health book written by a pastor will almost certainly mention religion and that's not what I need from any book. While I like finding out about different religions I don't appreciate them being foisted upon me or it held in a "fix to all problems" level of regard.
October 28, 2021
must read for friends and family members
Thank you for this in-depth book on depression. I empathize with you and the others who shared their pain. This helps me understand what my daughter is going through. God bless.
Thank you for this in-depth book on depression. I empathize with you and the others who shared their pain. This helps me understand what my daughter is going through. God bless.
January 23, 2019
Amazing
An excellent read for anyone who is battling depression or helping those in their battle. A book of great comfort.
An excellent read for anyone who is battling depression or helping those in their battle. A book of great comfort.
July 29, 2019
Honest, well written
April 25, 2020
Exactly what it says: Honest.
It's like someone spoke about something I would not talk to about, with anyone.
One of the books I'd recommend
It's like someone spoke about something I would not talk to about, with anyone.
One of the books I'd recommend
February 19, 2021
What are opener
February 20, 2021
Ok book.
Read
July 3, 2025A raw account of a heavy subject by an outrageously brave man who has truly seen depression from every angle. His purpose in sharing his story and transparency in doing so are admirable.
December 15, 2023
It’s an incredibly difficult task to find the words — whether by writing your own words or reading someone else’s — to adequately describe the feeling of depression: its depth, its persistence, its darkness, its weight. This book does it truly, truly well.
July 27, 2022
An important, authentic message
The author addresses the very challenging and misunderstood subject of depression with honesty, integrity, and a sense of curiosity that refreshingly admits, “I don’t have all the answers but let’s explore this issue together.”
The author addresses the very challenging and misunderstood subject of depression with honesty, integrity, and a sense of curiosity that refreshingly admits, “I don’t have all the answers but let’s explore this issue together.”
January 1, 2020
This little gem, published by a company so small I can't even find a web presence for them (vanity press, maybe?), reminds me a lot of Ellen Forney's Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me. Both use a personal account of mental illness (Park's depression, Forney's bipolar disorder) to show other sufferers they're not alone and offer both them and those who aren't afflicted some guidance as to what might be helpful in coping with the disease.
It's not a perfect book. The narrative structure is a little lacking, Park relies a little too heavily on an informal online survey he did to find out about other people's experiences with depression, and he's a little dismissive of the It Gets Better project. What made me really like How Hard it Really Is, though, is that it delivers on the honesty the sub-title promises, especially in Park's vivid descriptions of his own depressive episodes and about the futility of seeking an instant, all-encompassing cure, even from religious faith. This may seem like pretty gutsy territory for an ordained minister, but it fits squarely in the tradition of Christians being "accompanied, not delivered."
Pick it up if you can find it. My library (Shreve Memorial) will probably interlibrary loan it to you, if you want to go that route.
It's not a perfect book. The narrative structure is a little lacking, Park relies a little too heavily on an informal online survey he did to find out about other people's experiences with depression, and he's a little dismissive of the It Gets Better project. What made me really like How Hard it Really Is, though, is that it delivers on the honesty the sub-title promises, especially in Park's vivid descriptions of his own depressive episodes and about the futility of seeking an instant, all-encompassing cure, even from religious faith. This may seem like pretty gutsy territory for an ordained minister, but it fits squarely in the tradition of Christians being "accompanied, not delivered."
Pick it up if you can find it. My library (Shreve Memorial) will probably interlibrary loan it to you, if you want to go that route.
June 30, 2020
Thanks, I felt worse.
Facing depression, we often offer to help with good intentions. When our friend is sad, we can't help but to analyze, advise, and desperately trying to find a solution. However, much of the time, it just makes things worse.
Perhaps we are too caught up in the notion to "help" and to "Fight against depression", but fail to truly be here and listen. In this short and honest book, it tries to turn our viewpoint away from the popular misconceptions of depression, and gently lead us into the world of depression in a very personal way.
"Regardless of their intentions, I wish more people would have the maturity to just acknowledge they don't know much about it." We all try to help, but in the face of depression, a better way, perhaps is to admit that we don't know much about it. It didn't shut us down from our good intention to help, rather it is a way of opening to honest connection and learning.
I remember some of the people who suffered from depression suggest the best help is simply is to be there. "Treat me just like a normal person. Just simply being here with me and I can feel better just talking about this."
A better understanding of depression may help, but in the essence, quoting the book - The best thing we can offer each other is each other.
Facing depression, we often offer to help with good intentions. When our friend is sad, we can't help but to analyze, advise, and desperately trying to find a solution. However, much of the time, it just makes things worse.
Perhaps we are too caught up in the notion to "help" and to "Fight against depression", but fail to truly be here and listen. In this short and honest book, it tries to turn our viewpoint away from the popular misconceptions of depression, and gently lead us into the world of depression in a very personal way.
"Regardless of their intentions, I wish more people would have the maturity to just acknowledge they don't know much about it." We all try to help, but in the face of depression, a better way, perhaps is to admit that we don't know much about it. It didn't shut us down from our good intention to help, rather it is a way of opening to honest connection and learning.
I remember some of the people who suffered from depression suggest the best help is simply is to be there. "Treat me just like a normal person. Just simply being here with me and I can feel better just talking about this."
A better understanding of depression may help, but in the essence, quoting the book - The best thing we can offer each other is each other.
May 3, 2021
More of a 3.5 star rating really (I wish Goodreads allowed half-stars!) As an agnostic reader, I approached this book cautiously, given Park's background and occupation as a pastor. I found it englightening in giving insights to how depression just is in people's lives; how to be there for someone who is going through depression, and why it's important (and 100% okay) for you to take a break as a friend/caregiver of a depressed loved one or friend.
June 10, 2018
Vivid. Truthful. For everyone.
February 23, 2020
The title is very accurate. Some parts I disagreed with and some made me take a hard look at things, but it one of the more honest books about depression I've ever read.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews