Under My Helmet: A Football Player's Lifelong Battle with Bipolar Disorder

by Keith O'Neil, Tony Dungy (Foreword)

Ever since he was a child, Keith O’Neil wanted to play football. Born on the same day that his father, Ed O’Neil, was cut from the New England Patriots, football was all Keith could think about...aside from his anxiety.Offered a scholarship to Northern Arizona University, O’Neil jumped at the chance to prove himself. Though it wasn’t a Division I-A school, he brought his all and was a natural on the field, achieving first-team All-Big Sky choice as a junior and senior, as well as earning All-American honors.Going undrafted, luck came from the Dallas Cowboys, who offered O’Neil an invite to rookie mini-camp. But while trying to learn the playbook, his anxiety and insomnia returned. Even so, he made the team as an undrafted free agent. His dream had come true.While proving himself as a hard-nosed special teamer, sleepless nights, constant anxiety, and suicidal thoughts clouded his mind. O’Neil considered stepping away from the game multiple times, even speaking to his coach, Bill Parcells. Parcells gave him the wisdom that “Everyone has a demon in their head, and we have to beat that demon. Beat the demon!”After being released from the Cowboys, O’Neil spent time with the Colts and Giants, but still could not escape his inner demons. He asked for help but never received the attention he needed. In fact, for suicidal thoughts was given a CD to help him relax-Enya. It finally became too much for him to handle, and the final decision was made to walk away from the game. It wasn’t until sometime later that was finally Bipolar I disorder. Finally, everything made sense.Under My Helmet is the personal story of a man working every day to prove his worth while struggling with a debilitating-and undiagnosed-mental illness. O’Neil’s voice is honest and open as he shares his battles and the steps he’s taken to overcome adversity.

233 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 11, 2017

Reviews

[Shannon Mccarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heroic. Courageous. Raw. This is a beautiful starting point for talking about Mental Illness. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is looking to be a part of the conversation, and look forward to sharing this book with many people, for many years to come.

[Karen Okamoto · Rating 4 out of 5]

My daughter has joined you

My daughter has all the symptoms though no diagnosis. Her behavior is off and on. Reading your story has helped me to deal with the situation better. Thank you

[Elizabeth Calabria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read!


So honest and heartfelt...this will surely impact many who read it. Hopefully this will help all to better understand mental illnesses and create an open dialogue.

[Hester Ohbi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book to read for those with bi-polar and especially for family and friends of those suffering with this difficult mental illness. Never boring, well written, and candid about the chaos and the very real suffering caused by the disease.

[Marisa Zane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this honest, courageous story about mental illness. This book felt like talking to a friend.

[ariya yellowbird · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good fast read

Not a sports fan, but really enjoyed hearing his personal experience with football and mental illness and I have a lot of respect for him sharing his story

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Keith O'Neil has done something remarkable. Not only did he beat the odds at becoming an NFL Football player, he wrestled with a mental illness for years and made the brave decision to disclose his condition to his coaches, not knowing how they would react, so that he could find his way to recovery. I admire Keith's courage and determination to share his story to help others who may be struggling in silence. Under My Helmet is an emotional journey through one man's battle with a brain disorder, taking you from the unknown to the diagnosis, to the heartache of anxiety and heart-pounding rush of mania, to how Keith eventually learned to successfully manage his life-long condition.