"I’d go as far to say that this book was a life changer for my health and fitness.' Estée Lalonde Long-listed for the William Hill Sports Book of the Year Award.
Sport's for everyone . . . isn't it?
Society has led us to believe that women and sport don’t mix. But why? What happens to the young girls who dare to climb trees and cartwheel across playgrounds?
In her exploration of major taboos, from sex to the gender pay gap, sports journalist Anna Kessel discovers how sport and exercise should play an integral role in every sphere of our modern lives.
Covering a fascinating range of women, from Sporty Spice to mums who box and breastfeed, Eat Sweat Play reveals how women are finally reclaiming sport, and by extension their own bodies, for themselves - and how you can too.
'Anna Kessel's book should inspire a whole generation of women. It ought to be on the school curriculum.' Hadley Freeman "
A brilliant non-fiction read that pulls apart every aspect of women and sport. A real eye-opener!
This one took me by surprise - I don't do any sport in my free time and you would never find me sat in front of the television with the football on but this book has totally made me rethink the way I look at sport. Not only does Anna Kessel discuss the involvement of women in sport throughout history she also delves into other hot topics such as periods and pregnancy. It sounds silly but I honestly have never had so much interest in sport, this book has shown me a whole new world! I actually went to my local park the other day and played badminton with a friend (totally not an Amy kind of thing to do!) and loved it!
I would highly recommend this one to all - it is definitely one of the best non-fiction books I have picked up so far this year. Unlike a lot of non-fiction this one is really accessible and reads like you're just catching up with a friend - not dense or too fact heavy which I loved! Go forth and read my friends!!
Disclaimer: I was sent an ARC copy of Eat Sweat Play for read and review by Macmillan publishers!
I don't really read a lot of non-fiction and certainly not ones that involve sport but I found Eat Sweat Play to be a fascinating insight into the world of women and sport. Anna has definitely done her research speaking to a variety of sports celebrities and magazines who have run campaigns to promote women in sport. A variety of topics are explored within the book: The gender pay gap, sexism and attitudes towards women in sport. In this ARC, I would have love to have seen some charts or graphs maybe highlighting survey results and other research results just to give it a visual feel.
I loved having the opportunity to review this as I wanted to branch out and read new books from genres away from Young Adult Fiction. I don't really know what else to add other than it was a valuable insight into sport and for anyone interested in sport, this is a great read!
Read June 2016 It’s been almost two weeks since I finished reading and I think I finally have my thoughts together on this one.
Eat Sweat Play wasn’t quite what I had expected it to be, which turned out to be both a positive and a negative. I was expecting a quick, fun and inspiring read. What I got was something that took me a little longer to read, but that made me think (and in some cases re-think). A lot.
First, let me talk about the positive. I like reading books about feminism and I loved that this book looked at feminism from a completely different point than the ones I read before and dealt with issues that I had never even thought about before.
It perfectly highlighted problems with sport that I have dealt with myself, both during PE at school and with playing sport outside of a school setting.
Playing sport for women is rarely about having fun, learning new things and being healthy. It’s too often about the end result. ‘Get beach body ready in only 30 days’ ‘How to lose weight fast’ & of course the ‘With just these simple exercises you too can look like a Victoria Secret model’. Open up a random magazine geared towards women and headlines like these are everywhere. When did sport become all about how your body looks, instead of the amazing things it is capable of doing?
Eat Sweat Play isn’t afraid to talk about subjects that until now seemed taboo in sport and I love it for that! There is a whole chapter about periods and how it might affect our bodies when playing sport. Anna also talks about motherhood, menopause, race, sexuality and gender identity. All of this both for just the regular women playing or watching sport as well as professional athletes.
As someone who doesn’t watch/follows sport that much I really learned a lot from this book. So many issues that I never even knew where a thing, but that are so important!
However, it wasn’t a perfect read for me. There is still a big focus on the competitive side of sport. I get that competition is a big and –in some cases- very important part of sport, but for me it has also been part of why I don’t always enjoy [playing] sport. I’m not very good at it and next to all the other problems (that Anna did mention as problems) I don’t need the extra pressure of competition. Especially not when it came to PE in school. I want sport to be more about having fun and being active and healthy, using your body. Sure maybe add a competitive side on a more personal level. Breaking your own personal records, getting better at what you do, but not competing against the other girls (and sometimes boys) in that same or a competing PE class. Sure being competitive can be a great part of your personality, but it can take out all the fun when you’re in PE and just not that good at something you might otherwise have enjoyed.
Also, not everything in Eat Sweat Play was as interesting to me personally. I’m not a big fan of watching (most) sports, so when Anna was talking about that side of sport, I had to do a lot of google-ing. Often I had no idea who or what she was talking about. There also was a good chuck focussed on watching football (soccer) and personally I have absolutely no interest in watching people kick balls around a field (male or female) and while she still had great points, it just wasn’t that interesting for me to read about.
That said, Eat Sweat Play might not have been exactly what I was expecting, but It was a great and inspiring read and should be required reading for any PE teacher or sports trainer out there. It’s time to focus more on girls and women in sport.
In "Eat Sweat Play" Anna Kessel argues that sport for women is "revolutionary, empowering, radical and political". Having read the book, I certainly feel that it is my feminist duty to take up a sport and I have come away feeling quite inspired!
Kessel starts off with some nostalgia about crappy PE lessons, Gladiators on ITV, Sporty Spice and Flo Jo's nails (amongst other things!) which I quite enjoyed but then moves on to more serious themes in sport including the barriers to women's participation, the glaring inequality in pay and the lack of proper research into how women's sporting achievement is affected by things such as menstruation, sex, pregnancy and menopause. Although some of the information was a bit depressing, the overall message of the book is absolutely a positive one and Kessel's knowledge of, and enthusiasm for, women's sport shines through. She includes lots of interviews and quotes from prominent women in the sporting world as well as from ordinary women who are integrating sport into their lives.
I had both the Kindle and audiobook versions of this, but ended up listening more than reading. The audiobook was read by the author herself and she did a pretty good job, especially when narrating her own experiences. However, I did find that the voice she used when quoting others was a little odd at times, but that was a minor quibble.
I requested this book from Pan Macmillan for review. Thanks to the publisher for sending this my way!
This was a really interesting non-fiction choice for me. Typically I do not read books about sport, as the subject does not interest me. Not to say I'm against sport or I don't like it, but it's not something I've ever felt compelled to read. However, this book focuses on the effect of sport and opinions on sport for women, particularly young women, and how women should be embracing it. So of course that hooked me.
Anna Kessel is a sports journalist, and as a result is well versed in the field. She covers a lot of topics in her book - the hatred of PE and school experiences with sport, the ability of sport to help women move into more traditionally male work circles, the effect of sport and fitness on pregnancy and general women's health, and the way that female athletes are treated by the media, amongst other things. There's a lot in here, and a lot of the statistics and experiences of various women that Kessel introduced in this book truly shocked me, particularly regarding the experiences of athletes in a male-dominated world.
However, towards the end of the book I was a little bit frustrated, because Kessel began to focus more often than not on football specifically. And I hate football. I don't watch it, I don't find it interesting - in fact I find it incredibly dull - and it frustrated me that Kessel focused on it so heavily, as I wanted a larger variety of sporting experiences to be covered. For example, I loved hearing about running and marathons, more of that please! But no, football football football. I just was not interested.
Saying that though, I think this is essential reading as it really makes you feel invigorated and encourages you to want to move your body. I was reading this on a long train ride, and I felt frustrated that I was sitting still and not moving, running around and jumping and engaging in teamwork with friends. It reminded me of how active I was as a child, and how much I missed that. So Kessel really hit me in the feels on that one.
Overall definitely a book to check out, as despite all the football content, I learned a lot and really engaged with this book for the most part.
possibly 4.5 stars? I really enjoyed reading this. As I am from New Zealand, which is hugely geared towards sport, I couldn't relate to lots of aspects of this book (fortunately)- for example personally I have never felt unfeminine because of wanting to work out. Maybe this has something to do with the fact I run distance rather than play team sport , but I digress.
What I could relate to was the call for changes in the PE curriculum The concept of breaking a sport down into bite size pieces that assumes no prior knowledge. When it came to sport at school I always felt I had missed a trick somewhere. . This just about hits it on the head for me. Personally I was never taught how to play many of the sports we had in school (notably rugby, our national sport, which I have yet to figure out), and my lack of coordination aside it really killed the PE experience for me. It took a very long time for me to click that I actually was sport orientated , just not team-sport orientated. Educators have a lot of room for influence in this respect I believe- it is mostly because of my intermediate teachers who insisted on alternating ball sports with fitness training each week in PE that I discovered my passion for running.
Overall a very interesting read and it was interesting to see some of the ways sport and feminism relate to each other.
Hmmm. I don't know how to review this book.. Somehow I expected something different. More fun, more how to do. I'm not really into sport and that hasn't really changed after reading this book. Some parts I found very interesting (Sport and periods/body image) others not really (too heavy on football and pregnancy/being a mum) and in general I found it rather repetitive at times. However I don't regret reading Eat. Sweat. Play. because I had no idea what ridiculous prejudices there is against female sport and how sexist the world of sport still is today.
3.5* While I did enjoy this for the most part, it could do with an update that includes HAES, and some more in depth analysis. I think if this was marketed more as a biography/column style book full of anecdotes and interviews, I'd rate it higher, but as nonfiction that has been touted as groundbreaking and full of scientific info etc it was actually lacking. Some great takeaways to be had, but yeah, not enough analysis for me personally to stand up to the hype. Like I just don't think we can continue to talk about obesity without mentioning how BMI is a racist, nonsense concept, and how health issues don't actually stem from being 'overweight' but more than likely the conditions that lead people to gain weight in the first place (poverty, pollution, environment, abuse, trauma, stress, contraception, medications, protein disorders etc etc etc) but perhaps these things just weren't as widely known or talked about in 2016 when this book was published. So again, just needs an update IMO!
This book was interesting from beginning to end. Well-researched and written, it covered the whole spectrum of women's participation in sport, from school PE to professional athletes, equal pay, sports journalism, periods and pregnancy. As someone interested and participating in sport who's experienced some of the sexism that's out there myself, this book really struck a chord with me and I'll definitely be re-reading it soon, a little slower this time! Five stars :)
me reading the sections about serena williams’ activism and body politics knowing she now promotes weight loss injections 😃😃 🔫
overall a good read, would love updated chapters since 2016 on the wellness boom, social media and sport, the successes of the lionesses and new olympic participation and marathon stats etc etc !!
'The whole premise of the idea seemed impossibly contradictory: I wanted to appeal to women who didn't connect to sport, who didn't buy sports books, and I wanted to do it with a book about sport.' (p. xii). And yet that's exactly what she did. I pretty much only read this because Leena made such an amazing video about it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHE7W...) and I definitely don't regret it. From PE in high school to 'fit-girl' trends and the weird beautification of sports to periods, pregnancies, miscarriages and motherhood to outright sexism in sports and sports journalism, a wide range of issues got tackled, based on a lot of solid journalism and interviews and personal life experiences of the author. A lot of interesting thoughts came cropping up throughout. Sometimes I was definitely noticeably from a different sports culture/country and that made some examples feel a bit off, some individuals not as culturally important to my life, but overall this was great and a lovely mix of relatable and mind-expanding, of critique and excitement and optimism. Although truth be told I still don't care about the sports page of the newspaper, this definitely gave me some new ways of thinking about and looking at sports and bodies and movement and taking ownership of these issues.
What an absolutely fantastic book! This is not just a book for people who love sports, or care about women's sport. In fact, I would say, the primary audience for this book is for people who do not like sport. This is because this book encourages all of us to go out and do something active. It challenges our stereotypes of sport, and our expectations. We shouldn't allow ourselves to be pigeonholed into a specific way of thinking. Especially as women, we should be celebrating our achievements, and each other. I think this book is really a lesson to us all to go out there, take what we want, and show that we can achieve.
This book really had it all. It had funny moments; enlightening and educational moments, but also serious and sad moments that actually made me cry. It really made me think about the world around us. Reading this book was an experience, and that's always what I want from a book.
I never used to be a huge fan of nonfiction books, and if I'm honest I didn't really see much personal value to them for myself. I wanted to use reading to escape. However, I've definitely been converted lately because I'm just learning so much, and to me that's the greatest pleasure in life.
Easily the best book I've read this year! Recommend it for everyone; men and women. I think it has lessons for us all on how we should approach sport.
In Eat Sweat Play, Kessel explores the barriers to women's participation in sport and lays out a variety of reasons why it's critical that we break down those barriers and increase that participation.
I found it interesting to contrast the ways in which women's bodies are sexualised and commoditised - a woman is first evaluated on her body before all else - and the ways in which women are prevented from understanding their own bodies. Our bodies are the property of others, and our lack of ownership results in this total black hole of information. In chapters on motherhood and pregnancy, Kessel lays out facts about our bodies during and after birth that I had no idea were the case! In this book, she presents sport as a way of getting in touch with our bodies more than anything to do with its appearance or loaded ideas around weight and health. I came away feeling more hopeful towards my ability to control any future pregnancy by helping my body prepare for it.
Generally, I just appreciated learning about new things about an area I'm largely unfamiliar with. From the abhorrent treatment of intersex athletes like Caster Semenya, to the existence of a Parliamentary football team, and the fact that the author Val McDermid is pretty much a local football hero thanks to her investment in her local team and her family's historical connection to it.
What I didn't like so much: - I didn't feel like I learned a lot about actual sport, but that might have been down to my own misunderstanding about what the book was about - It was repetitive in places, e.g. Kessel referenced her daughter a lot in thinking about her future interaction with sport etc. I can totally understand bringing her personal interest into the narrative of the book, but it was the same angle that was repeated unnecessarily.
Three stars - I felt like I learned a few things but it wasn't quite revelatory as I hoped it would be
I really loved this book, and it definitely helped me rethink my attitude on sports. Last year, I stopped working out because it had become all about weight loss and looks for me. I no longer enjoyed anything I did, only thought of the calories I was burning. These past few months, I have started working out again and discovered the joy once more. It's simply about moving now, being strong and challenging myself. It's a place to go with friends, or to meet new people. This book solidified that mindset.
What I loved most about Eat Sweat Play is that it covers a wide range of topics within "sports for/with women", ranging from sports on your period, while pregnant or after giving birth, from Olympic athletes to sports journalists and commentators, to the even greater amount of obstacles people of color , LGBT+ people, or people with disabilities have to overcome to be accepted within sports.
I loved it. It was the book i needed at this timing of my life. This book is written so beautifully. Supporting women in sports. And discussing very important issues that only few mention it; sport and pregnancy, sport during periods, emotional swings, balancing between parenting and competing! And having it all. Cultural resistance to women playing "men" type of sports!. I related to this book. I used to struggle in the past to keep up with my fitness. Nowadays, I'm living the beauty of feeling fit, strong.. mentally and physically. I think bigger of myself now. Competing is becoming a future goal for me. Again, I felt she's talking to me. And this book was written for me. I needed it.
3.5-3.75. Odlične su mi bile sve informacije, primjeri i generalni problemi koje istražuje (kritika naglašavanja estetike kao glavnog cilja ženske fizičke aktivnosti, očekivanja tradicionalno "ženstvenog" tijela od sportašica, nedovoljne istraženosti odnosa fizičke aktivnosti i hormonalo-reproduktivnog zdravlja, problema ženskog glasa u svijetu sporta, lošeg financiranje i praćenja ženskog sporta), ali glas autorice mi je znao ostati ponešto površan u svojim komentarima, povremeno skoro pa naivan.
Thoroughly enjoyed this and would easily recommend to any woman, sports fan or not. Because it would written with a British slant I wasn't as familiar with all of the athletes or news stories that were mentioned but that was okay!
I absolutely loved this. Learning more about the relation between women and sports and everything that that entails was so enlightening and intriguing. I would recommend this to everyone!
This already has a great rating on goodreads - and I'm truly happy it does. This is the kind of book you wish you could entrust to everyone you know. It's helped me learn much about my own relationship with my body - and specifically, with exercise. To not see physical activity as merely a tool to condition my body into society's patriarchal ideals - but as a means to have fun and be active instead! Regardless of aesthetics.
I loved a lot about this book - and found it truly insightful on the following topics, amongst others: 1. Motherhood & pregnancy (and the body image issues that come with that) 2. The horrifying lack of scientific research studying women's bodies - even though women take up half of all human population! 3. The normalised, everyday sexism that sportswomen + female sports fans/journalists/reporters have to deal with.
That said, I had two main problems with this book. First, found the first half of this much better than the second half. First, because the first half discussed casual + every day exercise and how that related to regular non-athlete women's lives. (The second half focused more on the inequality that's still rampant in women's sport today.)
Of course, this is personal preference (as I don't follow professional sports myself) - and I truly appreciate the issues that the author is trying to highlight in the second half (especially so since she's a sports journalist). But I felt like quite a bit of the second half was a rehash of the points she'd already discussed in the first.
Secondly, this was simply dragged out for too long. I felt like a lot of the stories/interviews blurred together after a while. Too many examples to illustrate the same point.
In conclusion, I would recommend to read it, still! A truly educational, well-researched book. The author's clearly incredibly passionate about the topics being covered - and she's a great writer, too! I found myself alternately tearing up + feeling empowered reading some of her sentences. 4/5!
I saw this in a bookshop and thought it looked interesting so asked for it for my birthday.
I read it in a day! This book lived up to my already high expectations and was just what I needed. I have been ill for the last 18 months so have put weight on and this book lifted me out of my irritation and depression of not being able to fit in to my nice dresses but made me think how my body is finally getting strong again and to focus on enjoying the exercise rather than focussing on fitting in to my old clothes.
Anna Kessel has clearly done her research but she manages not to ramble and constructs her arguments in a clear and passionate way. I was shocked by how little funding there is in female sport and how some of the female athletes are treated. Basically we need more woman to work in sport! I also found the section on exercising during pregnancy fascinating and this really is accessible for anyone regardless of if you do sport or not. It encourages you to exercise for your own health and well-being and shows you how a lot of the skills you learn can transform your working life as well as making you feel better mentally and physically.
I think everyone should read this. Especially men. It makes you realise that we are on the cusp of changing female sport but we need everyone to support it and if we don't then we will regress back to a time when it didn't feature at all!
Incredible. Meticulously researched, Anna Kessel's no nonsense attitude produces a feminist book about sport that has the potential to change minds. I've always been told to work out to "lose weight" and "look sexy", as I know most women have, but I can't recall ever being told to work out to "have fun." How tragic is that? As a football fan, I truly appreciated every mention of it in this book. As a woman, you're never taken seriously as a fan. I've always been told I only liked it because of the "hot players" which, I'm not gonna lie, helps a little, but Kessel has validated my love for it and I am thankful for that. "Football was the common language that could unite us all, across fashion divides, ethnicity, religion and even gender."
Very enjoyable, informative and eye-opening. However, I felt some chapters were too fact-based and heavy on real athletes - while I find that motivating and inspiring it's not what I personally can identify with. That's why I cannot give more stars! If you're into (professional) sports, though, I'd definitely recommend this book to you!
Some good content, but for me any book on sports, bodies and gender should consistently use the words cisgender, transgender, and consider intersections which make accessing sports harder (such as being a person of colour, trans, disabled). This was mainly a book for cis white women and as such was a little embarrassing to read.
An awesome read. This book is filled with inspiring women. It empowered me and didn't alienate me. I'm doing tai chi and swimming. Eat, Sweat, Play gave me the chutzpah I needed to be active.
I wouldn't class myself as a reader of non-fiction books, though I am certainly getting there with certain genres of non-fiction. But it is this 'type' of non-fiction book that makes me... ambivalent about them.
This book is certainly fascinating and I did enjoy reading it, but there were times when I felt like the author was beating me over the head with the fact that women aren't treated as equals to men (especially in sports), and it just got a little monotonous. The first 25% is fine, but from then on it seems (to me), that the author is making the same statement, women aren't given equal opportunities, in different contexts. And yes, the contexts are interesting, and seeing the slow progress that has been made was fascinating, but it just wasn't that gripping being told that women aren't treated equally for the umpteenth time!
Being a female I am well aware that my gender don't get the same opportunities, that we are treated differently - something I think is wholly idiotic and absurd given I personally believe in the idea of a meritocracy (treatment based on your merit not on the chance of your genitalia). But I also realise people struggle with the idea of equal treatment (which you'd need to figure out first before you can then really look into treating people on their merit) so I do get why this book is needed.
And don't get me wrong, parts of this did make me feel so proud to be a woman and the steps that are being taken towards gender equality. The early parts of this book called this advert to mind so vividly - and the advert still makes me smile with the idea behind it as it did when I first saw it 3 years ago. Parts of this book did the same, made me proud to see how women were being better represented, even if we have a hell of a way still to go.
Other parts, made me wonder how the hell we have managed to get to 2017 and still have people think it appropriate to demean women for daring to commentate on football matches, or join in the crowds. It reminds me of the way people seem to think women 'deserve' to be raped simply because of their gender and the activities they chose to take part in. It's freaking 2017 for crying out loud! According to Google a 'civilised' country, which we claim to be, is one that "... has a well developed system of government, culture, and way of life and that treats the people who live there fairly"... I'm not sure the way women are treated fulfills this definition - do you?
Outrage aside, I am not convinced that a greater impact in sports would create the changes that the author seems to suggest. I agree it would certainly help, but there are some of us who just aren't sporty people. I tried - in school I was on the netball team but I didn't really enjoy it (it was just the thing to do it seemed to me as opposed to something I really enjoyed), I've done Kung Fu which I did enjoy but... honestly, I didn't find it hugely interesting, TaeKwonDo (I preferred Kung Fu), Yoga (which I saw doing something for my body but failed to mentally interest me - I spent a lot of time mentally complaining that my arms were aching, or wondering what type of incense the teacher was using)... I honestly believe that there are people who just aren't into sports and never ever will be - even given greater access to it. And there is nothing wrong with that, but this book seemed to suggest that greater access to sports from a younger age would be the cure we all need which... nope. I disagree.
Overall this was a fascinating read, and I am glad to have read it but I wouldn't read it again.
this was a bit of a slog, not gonna lie. i love sports and reading about sports, but i need a little bit more analysis and (well cited) facts for it to be enjoyable for me. this read like a collection of newspaper columns with a specific Feminist Agenda™️ thrown in for good measure. which i suppose it was? but that’s not how i heard it being talked about.
it was also a bit too dramatic and preachy for my taste. overall i think it’s just a bit outdated and surface level? and it was also sooooo gendered in a very specific way that claimed to point stuff out to make people aware of harmful gendered cultural issues in sport, only to turn away and do the same thing.
i get how it would be mind blowing for women who barely ever consider sports of any kind worth their time and it’s got some great moments, but it was not for me. i read a review where somebody said it could do with an update and i 100% agree.
This book is one of the reasons I joined a sports club, became the owner of an awesome Garmin sports watch (I swear to god this thing changes my life daily) and basically call myself a sporty woman now – because I am. It made me think back to the time when I was 15 and enjoyed the hell out of sprinting, volleyball or basketball. That joy that rushes through you when your team scores or when you finally reach the finish line.
It also made me think of all the times society, and with that, I mean boys and girls, laughed at me and other girls for wanting to do sports. It made me think about my primary teacher that told me I had to change clothes because the "poor" boys couldn't concentrate. It made me think of all the girls that used their periods (or anything really) to skip PE because they felt uncomfortable doing sports. Girls that were too shy to kick a ball. They were convinced that the sports hall did not belong to them because society heavily taught us so. A place for men.
This book really opened my eyes to what sport should be. Fun. The joy of feeling your body move. The fantastic balance it creates between rough days at work or uni. The happiness it brings when a random runner gave me a high five while running in opposite directions. We are in this together.
Today I still find myself having the feeling of not belonging in the gym between 30 heavily breathing and grunting men. But I push myself. Because I do belong there. And lo and behold, I joined yoga classes, ping pong matches, climbing lessons and am currently enrolled in a 14 week running program – 5km in 30min. My wish is to complete a survival run and a half marathon.
Thank you Anna Kessel for giving me back the joy of sports that I always had in me. And big thank you to my friend that recommended this book to me. You know who you are ;)
Borrowed from a friend. This has absolutely changed my life! From the way I view sports and woman involved on it, to body image and how I feel about sports. Kessel really highlights the misogyny in sports, I never really thought about how much we focus on a woman's image despite her doing amazing things with her body! The 2nd half of the book had a lot about football, which was still an absolute eye-opener even if it's not my area of interest. But THE BIGGEST thing I've realised is how I view my body and it's relationship to movement. I'm a very active person, I've always worked a manual job, I cycle to and from work every day, my town is completely walkable and a few years ago I got into stretching for mobility and to prevent aches and pains... However I never, ever considered the aspect of fun. We're told to look after ourselves, and tbh if I was a sim I think I'd be going crazy from lack of fun through activity. I definitely want to incorporate something fun, silly and ultimately social back into my life!