The Gentle Potty Training Book

by Sarah Ockwell-Smith

'A practical guide to helping your child through one of the most important developmental stages of early childhood' - Green Parent Book of the Month Gurgle's Honest Read for December How to make potty training stress free for you and your child The Gentle Potty Training Book is a practical guide to helping your child through one of the most important developmental stages of early childhood. Avoiding strict timelines, rewards and plans that are based solely on a child's gender, Sarah Ockwell-Smith advocates an approach that is based on your child's unique developmental stage - because the gentlest, easiest and most effective potty training happens when you work with your child as a team. Sarah's advice * Recognising the physical and emotional signs that your child is ready * How to talk to your child about potty training and prepare them emotionally * What you need to get started - the practicalities * How to respond to accidents and setbacks * Potty training your child when you're in full-time work or co-parenting * The when and how of night-time potty training * What to do after previous false starts Comprehensive, practical and realistic, Sarah's advice will give you the necessary understanding and confidence to make potty training a smooth process for you and your child.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Childrens

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2017

About the author

Born in Bedfordshire, England in 1976, Sarah Ockwell-Smith is a mother of four school aged children, three boys and one girl.

After graduating with an honors degree in Psychology, specialising in child development, she embarked on a five year career in Pharmaceutical Research and Development, working with clinical trial data, until she became pregnant with her first child in 2001. After the birth of her firstborn Sarah retrained as an Antenatal Teacher, hypnotherapist/Psychotherapist, Infant Massage Instructor and Birth and Postnatal Doula. Over the years Sarah has updated her knowledge with various study days and courses including paediatric first aid, paediatric safeguarding, perinatal psychology and birth trauma.

Sarah now works as a parenting author, writer and coach. With a particular interest in child sleep.

Reviews

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great introduction to potty training that's given me more confidence ahead of supporting my son. Easy to digest, love the child-centred and nurturing approach and answers a lot of questions and common stumbling blocks.

[paula8966 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Our son is only 14 months so we still have time to prepare and this book is great to prepare you for the new milestone which is toilet/potty usage by your child.

It explains all physiological processes first then explains psychological/emotional readiness of the child. Reminds you of the gentle process that this needs to be. Accidents happen but how to go through it with as less stress and drama as possible.

Great part is also chapter about problems and q&a organised into the categories.

We will put this knowledge to use when the time comes.

[Margarita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thinking it was self explanatory I embarked on potty training to disastrous results. After reading this book things clicked for me and I was able to help my child successfully.
The actual advice could be bullet pointed on one page but it also has interesting -and reassuring- statistics and facts regarding the biology of the matter that keep you going at the right pace in the potty "learning" journey.

[Amy Alice · Rating 3 out of 5]

As with all SOS books, I loved the premise, the over arching theory of this. I love the scientific backing she uses. But as always, there's no hard advice. It's all wishy washy beyond that and I find it so vague and frustrating!

[Jessica Gallagher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hesitant to give it a star rating until AFTER we do the actual potty training... But it read easily and seemed logical, as well as fitting with our parenting values. Let's see how we go!

[Samanta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gentle Potty Training promotes a respectful, child-led approach that avoids pressure, praise, or punishment. It emphasizes emotional safety, patience, and encouragement throughout the process.

One of the core messages is to avoid both praise and punishment. Instead of celebrating the outcome (“You did a wee!”), the focus should be on praising the effort. For example: “I’m really proud you sat on the potty.” This builds confidence without putting pressure on results.

Children should be gently reminded to use the potty roughly once an hour, but not too often, as frequent prompting can be overwhelming. Supportive phrases like “Do you need to go to the toilet? Don’t worry, we can do it quickly and you won’t miss out on your play” help reduce resistance.

Trying, even without success, is always encouraged and acknowledged. For example:
“I saw you trying to get to the potty—you tried so hard! You’ll manage it soon; it just takes time to learn.”
Recognizing effort fosters motivation and a sense of progress.

Practical tips are also included, like lighting the hallway between the child’s bedroom and the parent’s to reduce fear at night, which can also help with night wetting.

The book encourages parents to trust their child’s natural readiness and to create a calm, supportive environment that makes potty learning a positive experience.

[Rae · Rating 2 out of 5]

Picked up a couple of things from this but didn't like the style, found it both patronising and devoid of concrete examples: in places where the author seemed judgemental towards those who get it 'wrong,' she was very unclear about how to get it 'right.' (Specifically age of starting training, which she is very clear must be exactly right--don't hold off even for more than two days after giving birth to a new baby or while moving house!--but then doesn't actually tell you when she believes is the right time and is very wishy-washy 'it depends' about it. Which it may well, but then accept parents aren't going to get the timing perfect!
Picked this up from a Little Library as it seemed coincidental when I was preparing to potty train my child. But will end up using my instinct far more than this book anyway after all.

[Dragonfly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Straightforward and evidence based.

Great for any parent nervous about toilet training. Learning to trust your child's lead combined with age guidance on when they could be ready. I feel a lot more positive! I saw Sarah at a breastfeeding network study day recently discussing sleep and she really knows how to research well and present evidence effectively! Thanks Sarah ! Your book was great to help ease my worries!

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sensible and sensitive advise for potty training/learning. I liked references to various studies and lived the tone of the book. It normalises what has become a convoluted and emotional subject as of late. The book gets a bit repetitive but I appreciate a bit of repetition when it comes to learning - it helps consolidate previously learnt information. Loved this book. Can’t wait to put this knowledge to the test when my child is truly ready.

[Gabrielė Ma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like this sensitive and not pushy way of potty training, that is explained in this book with lots of advices and situations explained. Also it is great, that author is showing a lot of data from different studies about children body changes and potty training. These studies really explain a lot if you listen to your children body language and changes in their behavior through the first few years.

[Abigail Woodruff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always hesitant to rate a book such as this without having trying the methods first but I will say that it has taken away the overwhelming anxiety that comes with such a big step. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that it's okay and full you with a bit of confidence. There are a handful of things I disagree with, as is the case with most parenting books, but I think it was the best choice for my particular parenting style.

[Haniva Zahra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Buku ini sesuai harapan saya. Awalnya kebingungan bagaimana memulai proses toilet training. Namun, setelah membaca buku ini rasanya cukup pengetahuannya. Sekarang tugas saya mengobservasi si kecil apa siap memulai perjalanan toilet trainingnya. Membaca buku ini (sangat) membantu saya dan kepercayaan diri saya sebagai orang tua.

[Anna Villanueva · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has a lot of good insight for the tools you need to potty train your child. I have not started that journey with my toddler yet, so I haven’t been able to apply the tools given. I will see how it goes and apply what I have learned. This book was easy to follow in my opinion and it was a pretty quick read.

[Sasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think it’s great that this book looked at the simple physiology of toileting, sphincter control, bladder size changes, and the hormones involved in nighttime continence. I thought it was a bit light on with information on the range of how children may progress through toilet training; as in, what does it actually look like weeks/months into learning in different cases?

[Renee Baldwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really helpful book to understand the psychological and physiological side of potty training. Even though I read this after I started it's definitely helped with our wee setbacks. Highly recommend for parents.

[Raluca Lupasteanu (Gramschi) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very useful, short and concrete. Some info is repeated throughout the book, which helps remember it, especially when listening (as opposed to reading). It also has lots of examples of various situations and proposed solutions.

[Ben Fish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can't fault, has done the trick for us so far

Followed the instructions and our daughter really took to potty training during the day.

Will revisit in 6 months for the night training, at which point I will update the review.

[Buku Arutala · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a quite complete guidance book for parent who start training their children to poo and pee independently. They can also find so much information about potty training issues and the solutions.

[Angel McGregor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliantly written, well laid out, very informative. I learned a lot and will be implementing a lot of it when my little boy is ready, something which I assumed he would be by now but having read this realise he isn't which is why we've failed so far when trying!

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my first book by Sarah Ockwell-Smith and I'm looking forward to reading her others.

I found this book really informative and helpful and definitely feel a lot more confident about potty training now when the time comes. And will also refer back to it as we go on that journey.

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Haven't put anything into practice but I'm feeling positive about attempting potty training when we start now.

[Amy Vertudaches · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to read and is a simple and effective potty training solution. My daughter was toilet trained within a week using the methods in this book.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75

[Rita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy to read and full of good tips

[Inga · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good advice. We tried it and failed, however. For some reason, by kid is afraid to pee in the potty even though he seems to be ready. So we will wait a couple of months and will try again

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing that will change your life, but realistic, grounded and inspires confidence more than others I've read on this topic (and is well referenced to accompanying research).

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly common sense. Seamed obsessed with sweetcorn in poo.

[Mariam · Rating 5 out of 5]

We aren't potty training yet but this book has helped us really have a good grounding on signs to look out for and to make the transition as stress-free as possible for our baby.

[Nims · Rating 5 out of 5]

Covers all bases. Easy to refer back to. Great reference book.

[Samantha Venter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very easy to read, clear and helpful with good and relatable advice.