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The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr
A socially challenged young woman is finally forced to find her place in the world in this breathtaking and moving debut
Elvira Carr believes in crisp schedules, clear guidelines, and taking people at face value. She lives at home with her overbearing mother, who has deemed her unfit to interact with the rest of society.
But when her mother has a stroke, Ellie is suddenly forced to look after herself. She quickly comes up with an ingenious way of coping with the world: the seven social rules spreadsheet.
Unfortunately, Ellie soon discovers that most people don't live their lives within a set of rules. As she experiences social missteps and awkward encounters, Ellie continues to learn – about herself, and the people around her. And she'll need this new knowledge if she hopes to pave the way to living life on her own terms.
Elvira Carr believes in crisp schedules, clear guidelines, and taking people at face value. She lives at home with her overbearing mother, who has deemed her unfit to interact with the rest of society.
But when her mother has a stroke, Ellie is suddenly forced to look after herself. She quickly comes up with an ingenious way of coping with the world: the seven social rules spreadsheet.
Unfortunately, Ellie soon discovers that most people don't live their lives within a set of rules. As she experiences social missteps and awkward encounters, Ellie continues to learn – about herself, and the people around her. And she'll need this new knowledge if she hopes to pave the way to living life on her own terms.
400 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2017
About the author
Frances Maynard
4 books98 followersI teach English part-time to adults with learning difficulties, including Asperger's.
I'm married with one grown-up daughter and live in Dorset, on the south coast of England. I also spend time in Blackheath, south-east London.
The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr is my first novel. It was runner-up in the Good Housekeeping 2014 First Novel Award and shortlisted for both the 2016 Mslexia First Novel Competition and the Lucy Cavendish Prize. My second book, Maggsie McNaughton's Second chance, comes out June 27th 2019.
I'm married with one grown-up daughter and live in Dorset, on the south coast of England. I also spend time in Blackheath, south-east London.
The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr is my first novel. It was runner-up in the Good Housekeeping 2014 First Novel Award and shortlisted for both the 2016 Mslexia First Novel Competition and the Lucy Cavendish Prize. My second book, Maggsie McNaughton's Second chance, comes out June 27th 2019.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 593 reviews
March 8, 2026
Ok, this is an extremely heartbreaking read. It switched on my home abuse-ometer. No one got beaten with a wire hanger, of course. Still, all the subtle touches made me cringe.
The narrator has some undiagnosed but supposedly totally disabling condition. Due to this she spends her life with her mother, an overbearing unhappy woman who has no problems whatsoever to subtly express to her daughter just how much she disaproves of her: illness, Incidents, Capacity... and even to refer to the said daughter as a fool. Most of the Incidents were rather benign and could have happened to anyone regardless of their faculties. Really, missing a bus stop? No big deal, Ellie could have been taught how to find her way around. Getting her wallet stolen, lots of perfectly healthy people occasionally have this issue (even yours truly!). The mother istead hyperbolysed all these happenings which ultimately curbed Ellie's attempts at independence and freedom.
The book made me angry on Elvira's behalf. She should have been treated better all along. She should have been allowed freedom, choice and joy. To me, it seemed as if none of those were permitted to her. And not only by her condition. She should have had behavioural, cognitive and social therapy, leading her to develop her social skills, to enrich her understanding of the world and its ways, to develop ways to outsmart her condition and make the best possible of it.
Ultimately, this is a story of stunted development, suddenly brought on by changing circumstances. And El's progress is astonishing!
I probably reflect in this review as waaay too idealistic. I blame it on this book, it brought this out in me.
Done a reread. I loved this book too much to read it just once!
Q:
... I’d never thought it would happen to Mother. I was surprised she’d allowed it to. (c)
Q:
I twisted the hem of my apron—it was the one with Dog Breeds of the World on it—and looked at her. Normally, whenever Mother saw me doing this, she’d shout Apron! or Sweater! depending on what I was wearing (c)
Q:
She wasn’t saying anything either, which was unusual. (c)
Q:
She said she was wrinkled before her time because of having to screw her face up into expressions clear enough for me to recognize. (c) Blame-training. Nice.
Q: I could do with losing a few pounds. (More than a few, Mother used to say, looking at me and sniffing.) We ate a Healthy Diet, because Mother decided what we ate, but I had an interest in cookies. ... I liked trying out different brands and varieties and comparing them. It added another dimension to my life.(c) Gawwwd. Asperger or autism or whatever. How does one deprive one's child from life altogether so that even cookies would become an experience?
Q:
If I asked her a question, or told her a Fact I’d learned, she’d rustle the Daily Telegraph without replying. Sometimes the Daily Telegraph went up in front of her face as I came into the room.(c)
Q:
I’d never been on my own for longer than a day before. Mother didn’t think I could manage.(c)
Q:
I brushed my hair and put on my shoes and the navy woolen coat I’ve had for more than six years, since I was twenty-one. It was still smart, even though I could no longer do up the bottom two buttons.(c)
Q:
She hugged me too, which I wasn’t expecting. I didn’t know if I should hug her back because I hadn’t been hugged since Father died and I’d forgotten how to do it... (c)
Q: I’d never been Abroad. Mother used to say taking me would be a waste of money and no break for her.(c)
Q:
I’m phoning Social Services was something Mother used to say when things got to be Too Much, and she’d had a phone conversation with Jane in Dunstable. Dear Jane suggested Sheltered Housing might be the best thing for you, Elvira. She’d talk about no time off for good behavior and a life sentence and kept taking off her glasses and polishing them. Shelters were for animals no one wanted, and Sheltered Housing was living in a different place on my own, under supervision.
I’d cried every time she’d threatened it.(c)
Q:
Mother had said there wasn’t enough time for all that; she needed me. I was ungrateful after all she’d done, and I needed to be kept safe at home for my own protection. I was far too trusting, she’d said, and a target for predators, and she reminded me of the various Incidents that had happened when I’d ventured out and done things on my own.(c)
After Elvira gets to live on her own nothing bad happens, i.e. no one takes advantage of her, etc. To me this means one of the things: 1. The condition was not quite bad as estimated. Which means that the other was not exactly right in all her overprotectiveness. 2. The author just decided to skip the unfriendly part of the world.
To me the narrator felt as though she was too protected from the outside world. Had she more experience (some of it disastrous, yeah! but how else is a person supposed to learn?) she would have been better equipped to deal with the life's challenges.
Q:
I would have enjoyed a trip out, but I knew ambulances were only for sick people.
“No thank you.” I stared at his ear. “I’m not ill. And I haven’t finished getting lunch ready.” (c)
Q:
Bridge is a card game, but far too complicated for you, Elvira. (c)
Q:
“Your mother has had some tests.”
“Oh. Did she pass?” Mother was clever. She’d be good at tests.(c)
Q:
“Does your mother talk in a normal way?”
This was another difficult question to answer because I didn’t know what “normal” was. Only that Mother said I wasn’t. (c)
Q:
Sylvia said Mother had made Arrangements for me in case… My heart thudded because Arrangements meant people organizing things without me joining in. Mother had arranged things before, like signing me up to a Table Tennis Club at St. Anne’s Church Hall without asking me first. She’d gotten cross when I refused to go and kept talking about my BMI. (c)
Elvira actually is surprised to find herself being resourseful on her own:
Q:
In the end, I followed an old man shuffling along with a shopping bag, thinking he might be visiting an old person in Jersey Older People’s Ward. He was, which meant I’d been resourceful, a word Mother used about herself. She would be surprised when I told her.(c)
And she really is able to think things through!
Q:
She kept her passport in it too, in a plastic bag. I took it out now because I knew she wouldn’t need it in the hospital.(c)
El understands the concept of differentness and of staying in the background.
Q:
I liked the idea of Japan. Everyone would be foreign there, so I wouldn’t seem so different.(c)
Q:
Things were easier once I’d written them down. Clearer. There were no distractions in written things.(c)
Q:
There were lots of new things I had to do now: visiting Mother twice a day, using the bus, deciding what to eat, shopping without her list, doing the housework without supervision, being alert to Incidents, trying to show I was safe on my own. Managing it all sent me to bed in the daytime. In bed, I listed all the different varieties of cookies I knew, and their brands, and said them in alphabetical order, but it didn’t always make me feel better. (c)
Q:
Eventually, though, because of eating exactly the same things every week, I was able to make a master shopping list and take it with me each time. This was the sort of thing that, if Mother had thought of it, she would have called Maximum Efficiency.(c)
Q:
I stared at it, wondering why Mother’s financial interests had needed protecting.(c)
Q:
“Like being onboard a spaceship!” I walked close behind her, on tiptoe, wondering how she knew what being onboard a spaceship was like. (c)
Q:
I didn’t want to be sent Away.
I sat up and looked around my bedroom. It was tidy, and I’d dusted it only yesterday. I ran downstairs. There was no decaying food in the fridge to constitute a Health Hazard and lead to me being thought incapable. I scanned the kitchen. A Social Worker would be impressed by my meals and housework schedule, with its ticked-off checklist, and my shopping list, and the Japanese notebook where I was trying to find the answers to things. ...
Might Social Services think sending an elderly person to a home against her will was abuse? Because Mother was going to hate Bay View Lodge. She was going to hate everything about it, even its view, because she wanted to be at home, in charge.(c)
Q:
The netsukes were in a row on the windowsill, the same size gap between them, looking out to sea. The symmetry of their arrangement gave me a physical thrill.(c)
Q:
I was on my own. This was showing I was capable, I kept telling myself. (c)
Q:
I noticed patterns in things all the time, but especially in carpets, because of looking down. (c)
Q:
I kept my hands behind my back in case people thought I was hurting Mother. ... When I mentioned Mother’s shouting, Mrs. Hulme said it would be drowned out one way or another: either by people singing or dogs barking. (c) Symbolic, huh? Anything can be told in a calm way.
Q:
... a policeman came to the Library and asked to speak to Micky and he had to leave suddenly to help him with something. Micky was a helpful person. (c)
Q:
If I was a real tourist in, say, Japan, I’d buy a guidebook to help me communicate with the inhabitants and learn their customs.
I scrolled up and down the website. There didn’t seem to be such a thing for people with my Condition. Perhaps I could write my own! Research and organize guidelines to normal behavior into a spreadsheet! List those hidden Rules that were never discussed openly! With Sylvia’s assistance, I could include the reasons behind the Rules, so I’d understand them. I could even add a check-box column for keeping to them! I felt as if I were filled with bubbles.(c)
Q:
I thanked Brenda for her advice about Sylvia, and her pink cheeks got pinker, which I interpreted as embarrassment rather than overheating. NeuroTypicals had a strange reaction to getting compliments and presents. My toes would have bounced or, if I was at home, I would have run around the room. (c) A matter of point of view, actually. This is a much deeper thought than one would have thought.
Q:
Give their marriage another go. ... Possibly it was some kind of treasure hunt. (c) That made me crack up )))
Q:
David Attenborough said humans contained dust from distant planets. In a few days, after her funeral, Mother would be dust. Part of the Cosmic Swirl. Her dust might float off to a distant planet. That might be where Away was.(c)
Q:
Did I actually want any more family? A dizzying line of unknown relations stretched away into the distance, strangers who might make me go up and down stairs for them all day, and tell me to keep up... But I hesitated, sitting on the bed. I didn’t have any family left now, and his card had an owl on it, and ecology was something to do with nature. If Charlie Hargreaves liked animals, he was unlikely to be a bad person.(c)
Q:
I’d gotten used to the quiet of the empty house and liked it now, especially after a day out in the real world. I liked there being nobody to tell me what to do, or to keep up a conversation with, or to work out if they were joking or not. (c)
Q:
THE SEVEN RULES
Rule 1: Being Polite and Respectful is always a Good Idea.
Rule 2: If you Look or Sound Different, you won’t Fit In.
Rule 3: Conversation doesn’t just Exchange Facts—it Conveys how you’re Feeling.
Rule 4: You learn by making Mistakes.
Rule 5: Not Everyone who is Nice to me is my Friend.
Rule 6: It’s better to be too Diplomatic than too Honest.
Rule 7: Rules change depending on the Situation and the Person you are speaking to. (c)
The narrator has some undiagnosed but supposedly totally disabling condition. Due to this she spends her life with her mother, an overbearing unhappy woman who has no problems whatsoever to subtly express to her daughter just how much she disaproves of her: illness, Incidents, Capacity... and even to refer to the said daughter as a fool. Most of the Incidents were rather benign and could have happened to anyone regardless of their faculties. Really, missing a bus stop? No big deal, Ellie could have been taught how to find her way around. Getting her wallet stolen, lots of perfectly healthy people occasionally have this issue (even yours truly!). The mother istead hyperbolysed all these happenings which ultimately curbed Ellie's attempts at independence and freedom.
The book made me angry on Elvira's behalf. She should have been treated better all along. She should have been allowed freedom, choice and joy. To me, it seemed as if none of those were permitted to her. And not only by her condition. She should have had behavioural, cognitive and social therapy, leading her to develop her social skills, to enrich her understanding of the world and its ways, to develop ways to outsmart her condition and make the best possible of it.
Ultimately, this is a story of stunted development, suddenly brought on by changing circumstances. And El's progress is astonishing!
I probably reflect in this review as waaay too idealistic. I blame it on this book, it brought this out in me.
Done a reread. I loved this book too much to read it just once!
Q:
... I’d never thought it would happen to Mother. I was surprised she’d allowed it to. (c)
Q:
I twisted the hem of my apron—it was the one with Dog Breeds of the World on it—and looked at her. Normally, whenever Mother saw me doing this, she’d shout Apron! or Sweater! depending on what I was wearing (c)
Q:
She wasn’t saying anything either, which was unusual. (c)
Q:
She said she was wrinkled before her time because of having to screw her face up into expressions clear enough for me to recognize. (c) Blame-training. Nice.
Q: I could do with losing a few pounds. (More than a few, Mother used to say, looking at me and sniffing.) We ate a Healthy Diet, because Mother decided what we ate, but I had an interest in cookies. ... I liked trying out different brands and varieties and comparing them. It added another dimension to my life.(c) Gawwwd. Asperger or autism or whatever. How does one deprive one's child from life altogether so that even cookies would become an experience?
Q:
If I asked her a question, or told her a Fact I’d learned, she’d rustle the Daily Telegraph without replying. Sometimes the Daily Telegraph went up in front of her face as I came into the room.(c)
Q:
I’d never been on my own for longer than a day before. Mother didn’t think I could manage.(c)
Q:
I brushed my hair and put on my shoes and the navy woolen coat I’ve had for more than six years, since I was twenty-one. It was still smart, even though I could no longer do up the bottom two buttons.(c)
Q:
She hugged me too, which I wasn’t expecting. I didn’t know if I should hug her back because I hadn’t been hugged since Father died and I’d forgotten how to do it... (c)
Q: I’d never been Abroad. Mother used to say taking me would be a waste of money and no break for her.(c)
Q:
I’m phoning Social Services was something Mother used to say when things got to be Too Much, and she’d had a phone conversation with Jane in Dunstable. Dear Jane suggested Sheltered Housing might be the best thing for you, Elvira. She’d talk about no time off for good behavior and a life sentence and kept taking off her glasses and polishing them. Shelters were for animals no one wanted, and Sheltered Housing was living in a different place on my own, under supervision.
I’d cried every time she’d threatened it.(c)
Q:
Mother had said there wasn’t enough time for all that; she needed me. I was ungrateful after all she’d done, and I needed to be kept safe at home for my own protection. I was far too trusting, she’d said, and a target for predators, and she reminded me of the various Incidents that had happened when I’d ventured out and done things on my own.(c)
After Elvira gets to live on her own nothing bad happens, i.e. no one takes advantage of her, etc. To me this means one of the things: 1. The condition was not quite bad as estimated. Which means that the other was not exactly right in all her overprotectiveness. 2. The author just decided to skip the unfriendly part of the world.
To me the narrator felt as though she was too protected from the outside world. Had she more experience (some of it disastrous, yeah! but how else is a person supposed to learn?) she would have been better equipped to deal with the life's challenges.
Q:
I would have enjoyed a trip out, but I knew ambulances were only for sick people.
“No thank you.” I stared at his ear. “I’m not ill. And I haven’t finished getting lunch ready.” (c)
Q:
Bridge is a card game, but far too complicated for you, Elvira. (c)
Q:
“Your mother has had some tests.”
“Oh. Did she pass?” Mother was clever. She’d be good at tests.(c)
Q:
“Does your mother talk in a normal way?”
This was another difficult question to answer because I didn’t know what “normal” was. Only that Mother said I wasn’t. (c)
Q:
Sylvia said Mother had made Arrangements for me in case… My heart thudded because Arrangements meant people organizing things without me joining in. Mother had arranged things before, like signing me up to a Table Tennis Club at St. Anne’s Church Hall without asking me first. She’d gotten cross when I refused to go and kept talking about my BMI. (c)
Elvira actually is surprised to find herself being resourseful on her own:
Q:
In the end, I followed an old man shuffling along with a shopping bag, thinking he might be visiting an old person in Jersey Older People’s Ward. He was, which meant I’d been resourceful, a word Mother used about herself. She would be surprised when I told her.(c)
And she really is able to think things through!
Q:
She kept her passport in it too, in a plastic bag. I took it out now because I knew she wouldn’t need it in the hospital.(c)
El understands the concept of differentness and of staying in the background.
Q:
I liked the idea of Japan. Everyone would be foreign there, so I wouldn’t seem so different.(c)
Q:
Things were easier once I’d written them down. Clearer. There were no distractions in written things.(c)
Q:
There were lots of new things I had to do now: visiting Mother twice a day, using the bus, deciding what to eat, shopping without her list, doing the housework without supervision, being alert to Incidents, trying to show I was safe on my own. Managing it all sent me to bed in the daytime. In bed, I listed all the different varieties of cookies I knew, and their brands, and said them in alphabetical order, but it didn’t always make me feel better. (c)
Q:
Eventually, though, because of eating exactly the same things every week, I was able to make a master shopping list and take it with me each time. This was the sort of thing that, if Mother had thought of it, she would have called Maximum Efficiency.(c)
Q:
I stared at it, wondering why Mother’s financial interests had needed protecting.(c)
Q:
“Like being onboard a spaceship!” I walked close behind her, on tiptoe, wondering how she knew what being onboard a spaceship was like. (c)
Q:
I didn’t want to be sent Away.
I sat up and looked around my bedroom. It was tidy, and I’d dusted it only yesterday. I ran downstairs. There was no decaying food in the fridge to constitute a Health Hazard and lead to me being thought incapable. I scanned the kitchen. A Social Worker would be impressed by my meals and housework schedule, with its ticked-off checklist, and my shopping list, and the Japanese notebook where I was trying to find the answers to things. ...
Might Social Services think sending an elderly person to a home against her will was abuse? Because Mother was going to hate Bay View Lodge. She was going to hate everything about it, even its view, because she wanted to be at home, in charge.(c)
Q:
The netsukes were in a row on the windowsill, the same size gap between them, looking out to sea. The symmetry of their arrangement gave me a physical thrill.(c)
Q:
I was on my own. This was showing I was capable, I kept telling myself. (c)
Q:
I noticed patterns in things all the time, but especially in carpets, because of looking down. (c)
Q:
I kept my hands behind my back in case people thought I was hurting Mother. ... When I mentioned Mother’s shouting, Mrs. Hulme said it would be drowned out one way or another: either by people singing or dogs barking. (c) Symbolic, huh? Anything can be told in a calm way.
Q:
... a policeman came to the Library and asked to speak to Micky and he had to leave suddenly to help him with something. Micky was a helpful person. (c)
Q:
If I was a real tourist in, say, Japan, I’d buy a guidebook to help me communicate with the inhabitants and learn their customs.
I scrolled up and down the website. There didn’t seem to be such a thing for people with my Condition. Perhaps I could write my own! Research and organize guidelines to normal behavior into a spreadsheet! List those hidden Rules that were never discussed openly! With Sylvia’s assistance, I could include the reasons behind the Rules, so I’d understand them. I could even add a check-box column for keeping to them! I felt as if I were filled with bubbles.(c)
Q:
I thanked Brenda for her advice about Sylvia, and her pink cheeks got pinker, which I interpreted as embarrassment rather than overheating. NeuroTypicals had a strange reaction to getting compliments and presents. My toes would have bounced or, if I was at home, I would have run around the room. (c) A matter of point of view, actually. This is a much deeper thought than one would have thought.
Q:
Give their marriage another go. ... Possibly it was some kind of treasure hunt. (c) That made me crack up )))
Q:
David Attenborough said humans contained dust from distant planets. In a few days, after her funeral, Mother would be dust. Part of the Cosmic Swirl. Her dust might float off to a distant planet. That might be where Away was.(c)
Q:
Did I actually want any more family? A dizzying line of unknown relations stretched away into the distance, strangers who might make me go up and down stairs for them all day, and tell me to keep up... But I hesitated, sitting on the bed. I didn’t have any family left now, and his card had an owl on it, and ecology was something to do with nature. If Charlie Hargreaves liked animals, he was unlikely to be a bad person.(c)
Q:
I’d gotten used to the quiet of the empty house and liked it now, especially after a day out in the real world. I liked there being nobody to tell me what to do, or to keep up a conversation with, or to work out if they were joking or not. (c)
Q:
THE SEVEN RULES
Rule 1: Being Polite and Respectful is always a Good Idea.
Rule 2: If you Look or Sound Different, you won’t Fit In.
Rule 3: Conversation doesn’t just Exchange Facts—it Conveys how you’re Feeling.
Rule 4: You learn by making Mistakes.
Rule 5: Not Everyone who is Nice to me is my Friend.
Rule 6: It’s better to be too Diplomatic than too Honest.
Rule 7: Rules change depending on the Situation and the Person you are speaking to. (c)
September 11, 2019
Elvira Carr is 27 years old and lives along with her elderly mother since her father died suddenly some years before. Elvira knows she has a Condition and is socially awkward and has been especially told not to discuss her obsession with biscuits and their packaging at length with others. She attended a special school but since then her bitter and domineering mother has kept her mostly at home so that no Incidents can occur outside the home. Elvira is therefore not well prepared when her mother has a stroke and is carted off to hospital and then a nursing home. However, she is determined to avoid going into sheltered care and with the help of a neighbour and seven rules that she draws up for herself, learns to navigate the minefield that is everyday living and relationships to become more independent.
This is a gentle story, as much about how 'normal' people treat those who are different. Some are kind, some are condescending and some are out to take advantage. Elvira is brave to take on the world after her mother has kept her so sheltered and she gains so much from it. Not just an understanding of how to navigate her way through situations but also friendships and eventually an understanding of her parents and why her father was away so often.
Frances Maynard has experience teaching students with learning difficulties and this shows in her understanding of Elvira's abilities and reactions. She also injects a lot of gentle humour into reflecting Elvira's view of the world and her literal understanding of figures of speech. Elvira's seven imperfect rules are explained with hints and tips on how to apply them along the way and would make a good guide for all of us in how to treat people with more kindness and understanding.
This is a gentle story, as much about how 'normal' people treat those who are different. Some are kind, some are condescending and some are out to take advantage. Elvira is brave to take on the world after her mother has kept her so sheltered and she gains so much from it. Not just an understanding of how to navigate her way through situations but also friendships and eventually an understanding of her parents and why her father was away so often.
Frances Maynard has experience teaching students with learning difficulties and this shows in her understanding of Elvira's abilities and reactions. She also injects a lot of gentle humour into reflecting Elvira's view of the world and her literal understanding of figures of speech. Elvira's seven imperfect rules are explained with hints and tips on how to apply them along the way and would make a good guide for all of us in how to treat people with more kindness and understanding.
November 26, 2017
“He put on the kettle and brought in the biscuit tin. I’d showed him where it was hidden. Inside were some Bourbons and Ginger Nuts, the remains of a packet of Peek Freans Family Assortment. There was less to be scared of with a biscuit in your hand.”
The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr is the first novel by British teacher and author, Frances Maynard. Elvira Carr may be twenty-seven years old, but she still lives at home with her mother, Agnes. Her beloved Father died some years ago. She has a Condition, and certain Incidents have proven to Mother that Ellie needs to be strictly supervised. Ellie cleans and shops for Fresh foods (Vitamins!) and cooks from her Delia Smith books, and adds to her collection of Biscuit wrappers and her encyclopaedic knowledge of their history.
Then Mother has a stroke and, suddenly, is no longer in charge. How will Ellie cope? Better than most people expect her to, apparently. Her Condition allows her to be very organised, and she’s determined to show that she does not need to go into Sheltered Accommodation, thank you very much. She sets up a rota for meals and chores and nursing home visits; she Volunteers; she makes friends; she gets herself a computer and learns more about her Condition.
Ellie knows she is not good with people so, with the help of her neighbour, Sylvia, she draws up a set of Seven Rules to help her interact. They are useful guidelines but, annoyingly, there are always exceptions: they are Seven Imperfect Rules. Not liking change, Ellie has, nonetheless, learned to adjust. But then the unthinkable happens: Agnes dies. “Mother would have been very cross if she’d known she’d died. Cross not to be in charge any more or be able to check anything. How could such a definite person be no longer here?” Worse still, certain disturbing facts about Father come to Ellie’s attention.
Maynard’s charming tale comprehensively demonstrates the difficulty that literal-minded neuroatypicals have with jokes and gestures and figures of speech, the subtleties of communication that NormalTypical people take for granted. Her experience and expertise in this field are apparent in every line. Her protagonist is immediately likeable and appealing for all her difficulties. Ellie’s missteps are equally a source of humour and triggers for empathy.
Maynard heads each chapter with a significant quote (some wise, some kind, some just mundane) from that chapter, and these (and other quotes and aphorisms from people in Ellie’s life) are presented in italics. The Capitalisation of Significant Words highlights these for the reader as they would be in Ellie’s mind. This heart-warming and uplifting novel is an outstanding debut and it will be interesting to see what Maynard does next.
The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr is the first novel by British teacher and author, Frances Maynard. Elvira Carr may be twenty-seven years old, but she still lives at home with her mother, Agnes. Her beloved Father died some years ago. She has a Condition, and certain Incidents have proven to Mother that Ellie needs to be strictly supervised. Ellie cleans and shops for Fresh foods (Vitamins!) and cooks from her Delia Smith books, and adds to her collection of Biscuit wrappers and her encyclopaedic knowledge of their history.
Then Mother has a stroke and, suddenly, is no longer in charge. How will Ellie cope? Better than most people expect her to, apparently. Her Condition allows her to be very organised, and she’s determined to show that she does not need to go into Sheltered Accommodation, thank you very much. She sets up a rota for meals and chores and nursing home visits; she Volunteers; she makes friends; she gets herself a computer and learns more about her Condition.
Ellie knows she is not good with people so, with the help of her neighbour, Sylvia, she draws up a set of Seven Rules to help her interact. They are useful guidelines but, annoyingly, there are always exceptions: they are Seven Imperfect Rules. Not liking change, Ellie has, nonetheless, learned to adjust. But then the unthinkable happens: Agnes dies. “Mother would have been very cross if she’d known she’d died. Cross not to be in charge any more or be able to check anything. How could such a definite person be no longer here?” Worse still, certain disturbing facts about Father come to Ellie’s attention.
Maynard’s charming tale comprehensively demonstrates the difficulty that literal-minded neuroatypicals have with jokes and gestures and figures of speech, the subtleties of communication that NormalTypical people take for granted. Her experience and expertise in this field are apparent in every line. Her protagonist is immediately likeable and appealing for all her difficulties. Ellie’s missteps are equally a source of humour and triggers for empathy.
Maynard heads each chapter with a significant quote (some wise, some kind, some just mundane) from that chapter, and these (and other quotes and aphorisms from people in Ellie’s life) are presented in italics. The Capitalisation of Significant Words highlights these for the reader as they would be in Ellie’s mind. This heart-warming and uplifting novel is an outstanding debut and it will be interesting to see what Maynard does next.
November 14, 2018
3.5 stars
If you enjoyed 600 Hours of Edward then you are going to love this book. There are a lot of similarities, but I enjoyed this one a little more.
Elvira is different, she knows this because she gets told this over and over again by her mother. She is not allowed to go out on her own, or with friends because of “incidents” in the past, so her life revolves around reading Mills & Boon and obsessing over the delights of cookies in all its varied forms.
And then Elvira’s mother has a stroke that incapacitates her so much she has to go into a nursing home.
When the local librarian suggests Elvira takes a computer course a whole new world opens up for her. A world that is not always safe and trustworthy. Through an online chat room Elvira discovers just how different she is from NeuroTypicals. She decides to make a list of rules that will help her navigate the confusing puzzle of real life. I enjoyed following her path to independence even if there were slightly repetitive and predictable sections.
There is also prevalent sadness throughout the book, showing a parent who has never really been willing to care for a child who is different. Just because you provide food and shelter does not mean you have fulfilled your duties as a parent.
This is one of those feel good, slightly bitter sweet stories that’s perfect for the end of the year.
If you enjoyed 600 Hours of Edward then you are going to love this book. There are a lot of similarities, but I enjoyed this one a little more.
Elvira is different, she knows this because she gets told this over and over again by her mother. She is not allowed to go out on her own, or with friends because of “incidents” in the past, so her life revolves around reading Mills & Boon and obsessing over the delights of cookies in all its varied forms.
And then Elvira’s mother has a stroke that incapacitates her so much she has to go into a nursing home.
When the local librarian suggests Elvira takes a computer course a whole new world opens up for her. A world that is not always safe and trustworthy. Through an online chat room Elvira discovers just how different she is from NeuroTypicals. She decides to make a list of rules that will help her navigate the confusing puzzle of real life. I enjoyed following her path to independence even if there were slightly repetitive and predictable sections.
There is also prevalent sadness throughout the book, showing a parent who has never really been willing to care for a child who is different. Just because you provide food and shelter does not mean you have fulfilled your duties as a parent.
This is one of those feel good, slightly bitter sweet stories that’s perfect for the end of the year.
April 18, 2017
I fell in love with Elvira Carr on page one and, 381* pages later, I was still a a fan. Frances Maynard's chronicle about Elvira has been compared to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and The Rosie Project and both are apt comparisons. I don't know how the Brits do it, but, by golly, they can write!
Twenty-seven-year-old Elvira (Ellie, Vivi, Els) has a Condition making it difficult for her to navigate the world of NormalTypicals. When her mother is hospitalized following a stroke Elvira is tasked with confronting the society from which her domineering mother has kept her largely sheltered. In order to successfully sort things out, Elvira develops a set of seven rules, a comforting system methodically designed to assist her. But even these carefully developed precepts are no match for a world where rules change depending on the situation and person you are speaking to.
There is a story here, a mystery of sorts and a definite arc of progression, but I would have also been perfectly content to simply read about Elvira's day-to-day life, the structured schedule of daily tasks and rotating meal plan (Sunday is Stuffed Baked Potatoes with Leeks day) and her extensive knowledge of biscuits and their packaging. Full of heart, wit, a cast of eccentric characters, and one very endearing protagonist, The Seven Rules of Elvira Carr made me one happy reader.
Grab a "cuppa" and a package of McVities digestives and be prepared to be charmed.
* Number of pages in an advanced copy
Twenty-seven-year-old Elvira (Ellie, Vivi, Els) has a Condition making it difficult for her to navigate the world of NormalTypicals. When her mother is hospitalized following a stroke Elvira is tasked with confronting the society from which her domineering mother has kept her largely sheltered. In order to successfully sort things out, Elvira develops a set of seven rules, a comforting system methodically designed to assist her. But even these carefully developed precepts are no match for a world where rules change depending on the situation and person you are speaking to.
There is a story here, a mystery of sorts and a definite arc of progression, but I would have also been perfectly content to simply read about Elvira's day-to-day life, the structured schedule of daily tasks and rotating meal plan (Sunday is Stuffed Baked Potatoes with Leeks day) and her extensive knowledge of biscuits and their packaging. Full of heart, wit, a cast of eccentric characters, and one very endearing protagonist, The Seven Rules of Elvira Carr made me one happy reader.
Grab a "cuppa" and a package of McVities digestives and be prepared to be charmed.
* Number of pages in an advanced copy
November 1, 2018
I’m on a mission to read as many books as possible featuring “quirky” characters and when someone recommended The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira I stuck it right to the top of my toppling TBR and boy am I glad I did.
There seems to be a wonderfully huge and varied selection of quirky books available to read right now including Eleanor Oliphant, 600 Hours of Edward, The Cactus and The Rosie Project so it is quite difficult to review these books without a mention or comparison to one or all of them, but in my opinion Elvira Carr sits proudly at the top of this pile and deserves to be acknowledged as a phenomenal and moving coming-of-age novel.
Elvira (Ellie) Carr is simply the most wonderful and sweet character I’ve met in a long time. At 27 years old she finds herself living alone after her mother suffers a catastrophic stroke and is taken into a care home. Having to fend for herself and try to adapt to an often complicated and cruel world, she devices Seven Rules to cope with life and try to fit it with the rest of the world.
Her pure and innocent view on life is refreshingly honest and at times amusing and at several moments of the book I found myself rooting for Ellie from the moment I started the book. This is a book that was on my mind constantly and I found myself sneaking a quick chapter here and there throughout the weekend.
All the characters were so well developed and plausible that I was visualising them throughout the story. This really is a wonderful debut with a heart warming message and, personally, I found her rules and life observations thought-provoking and I thoroughly 100% recommend this book and will be implementing her seven rules in my life too!
There seems to be a wonderfully huge and varied selection of quirky books available to read right now including Eleanor Oliphant, 600 Hours of Edward, The Cactus and The Rosie Project so it is quite difficult to review these books without a mention or comparison to one or all of them, but in my opinion Elvira Carr sits proudly at the top of this pile and deserves to be acknowledged as a phenomenal and moving coming-of-age novel.
Elvira (Ellie) Carr is simply the most wonderful and sweet character I’ve met in a long time. At 27 years old she finds herself living alone after her mother suffers a catastrophic stroke and is taken into a care home. Having to fend for herself and try to adapt to an often complicated and cruel world, she devices Seven Rules to cope with life and try to fit it with the rest of the world.
Her pure and innocent view on life is refreshingly honest and at times amusing and at several moments of the book I found myself rooting for Ellie from the moment I started the book. This is a book that was on my mind constantly and I found myself sneaking a quick chapter here and there throughout the weekend.
All the characters were so well developed and plausible that I was visualising them throughout the story. This really is a wonderful debut with a heart warming message and, personally, I found her rules and life observations thought-provoking and I thoroughly 100% recommend this book and will be implementing her seven rules in my life too!
December 6, 2017
enjoyed this book about a mid 20's female who has learning difficulties who was an only child and lived with her overbearing mother until she had a stroke and went into a nursing home. the seven imperfect rules is her way of interacting with the world and how she becomes more herself. liked the book as it was easy going to read and dealt with several issues of her deceased father and social interactions.
August 23, 2017
As a neurodivent person, or you know Autistic as neurodivent/neuroatypical covers several different disorders;I dislike this book for a pile of things, lack of correct terms, the lack of diversity in the coded autistic character (their traits/issues are the same) but mainly for random (trigger warning) . Loses stars for that. I wrote a properreview on my blog. I also made a video discussion.
November 2, 2017
Elvira Carr lives with her mother who is an unhappy and overbearing woman. When her mother has a stroke it is up to Elvira to learn how to cope on her own. Given her past history of what her mother had always referred to as ‘Unfortunate Incidents,’ Elvira has her doubts about her ability to cope. Especially since she has what her mother called a ‘Condition.’ The condition is never specified but would be somewhere on the autism spectrum. The threat of of being unable to cope and taken into Sheltered Accommodation hangs over Elvira’s head. She comes up with seven rules to help her cope. She also gets support from her neighbour Sylvia, but even that doesn’t always go as smoothly as she would like. One of Elvira’s difficulties is understanding what people are saying especially when they use figures of speech. She tends to take things literally and that produces its own set of issues as does her innate honesty.
I fell in love with this book right from the beginning. It is so easy to sympathise and care for Elvira as she seeks to make a new life for herself. Sylvia is an interesting character too. There are smiles, and tears, but also anger as some people who lack understanding take advantage of Elvira. Others try their best to help. Along the way Elvira tries to find answers to questions about her father who died some time before and other questions that she doesn’t understand and that trouble her. Elvira finds a lot more than she ever anticipated.
I found this a hugely enjoyable read and it shows the full spectrum of people’s attitudes to those who are a bit different. A debut novel by this author, it will be interesting to see what she writes next. I’d recommend this book to anyone who wants a story that captures and holds attention and is just that little bit out of the ordinary.
I fell in love with this book right from the beginning. It is so easy to sympathise and care for Elvira as she seeks to make a new life for herself. Sylvia is an interesting character too. There are smiles, and tears, but also anger as some people who lack understanding take advantage of Elvira. Others try their best to help. Along the way Elvira tries to find answers to questions about her father who died some time before and other questions that she doesn’t understand and that trouble her. Elvira finds a lot more than she ever anticipated.
I found this a hugely enjoyable read and it shows the full spectrum of people’s attitudes to those who are a bit different. A debut novel by this author, it will be interesting to see what she writes next. I’d recommend this book to anyone who wants a story that captures and holds attention and is just that little bit out of the ordinary.
October 31, 2020
3.5 ⭐
January 6, 2021
Grappig maar sommige momenten had ik het wel moeilijk ...
September 4, 2020
I received the review copy from Pansing. This book is available at all good bookstores.
All opinions are my own.
it's impossible to not feel anything for elvira carr. a young lady who's Condition was left undiagnosed for 27 years. elvira had been sheltered her entire life because she was different from others. her mother kept her under strict scrutiny due to past Incidents. so when her mother was sent to care after suffering from a stroke, elvira has to learn from ground up. she came up with 7 rules to help her go through the time without anyone there to support her other than a neighbour. her father had died years ago. though his presence was fleeting, he was always Away, elvira still thought about him fondly and some of her happiest days were with him.
as elvira interacts with the people around her, she began to understand and slowly adapted to how society works. her 7 rules help her cope with the ever fleeting emotions of the NormalTypicals and she started to learn how situations differ and how each situation require a different reaction. sometimes it's better to keep silent, sometimes not.
it was absolutely heartbreaking while reading about elvira's life. i can't help but feel indignant for her because she deserves so much more. up till the day she had to stand on her own feet, elvira never knew choice. the way her mother spoke to her like she wasn't capable of learning anything was frustrating to say the least.
although the Condition was never specified in the book, just that she was different, i assumed it was along the autism spectrum. since i'm not familiar with neuroatypicals, it was fascinating to view the world through elvira's mind. the way she trips over figure of speech or skips over humor, though saddening, was very eye-opening. it was heartwarming witnessing her grow and explore outside her comfort zone because that would have been extremely terrifying to her. it proved how wrong elvira's mother was in keeping elvira under tight holds. however, in her mother's shoes, she was probably trying to protect her daughter from the ugly world.
for the spoilers...
All opinions are my own.
it's impossible to not feel anything for elvira carr. a young lady who's Condition was left undiagnosed for 27 years. elvira had been sheltered her entire life because she was different from others. her mother kept her under strict scrutiny due to past Incidents. so when her mother was sent to care after suffering from a stroke, elvira has to learn from ground up. she came up with 7 rules to help her go through the time without anyone there to support her other than a neighbour. her father had died years ago. though his presence was fleeting, he was always Away, elvira still thought about him fondly and some of her happiest days were with him.
as elvira interacts with the people around her, she began to understand and slowly adapted to how society works. her 7 rules help her cope with the ever fleeting emotions of the NormalTypicals and she started to learn how situations differ and how each situation require a different reaction. sometimes it's better to keep silent, sometimes not.
it was absolutely heartbreaking while reading about elvira's life. i can't help but feel indignant for her because she deserves so much more. up till the day she had to stand on her own feet, elvira never knew choice. the way her mother spoke to her like she wasn't capable of learning anything was frustrating to say the least.
although the Condition was never specified in the book, just that she was different, i assumed it was along the autism spectrum. since i'm not familiar with neuroatypicals, it was fascinating to view the world through elvira's mind. the way she trips over figure of speech or skips over humor, though saddening, was very eye-opening. it was heartwarming witnessing her grow and explore outside her comfort zone because that would have been extremely terrifying to her. it proved how wrong elvira's mother was in keeping elvira under tight holds. however, in her mother's shoes, she was probably trying to protect her daughter from the ugly world.
for the spoilers...
August 18, 2017
Elvira is a twenty-seven year old woman who lives at home with her elderly mother. "A surprise" in later life, Elvira was born when her parents were in their forties. With her father long passed, and her mother taken ill suddenly, Elvira is forced to look after herself for the first time ever. With her set of seven rules, carefully researched, she is determined not to be sent "Away" and instead, embarks on an adventure to try and navigate the world in her own way.
Having read a number of books with main characters on the Spectrum (The Rosie Project, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time) and a couple of books about "quirky" young women used to being alone (Eileen, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine), I wasn't sure how this book could be unique.
Well, it is. Elvira is delightful - she's no Eleanor or even Eileen (thankfully), and she has a strong, interesting personality. Her quirks are hers alone - she's obsessed with biscuits, and can rattle off a handful of facts about McVitie's given the opportunity. Here, she is faced with a terrifying prospect - change. With her mother taken ill, things will change. While she knows this, she's not quite sure how to handle it - especially when her mother never really had any faith in her being able to do anything for herself (instead referring to her as "a life sentence").
I won't even begin to pretend that I understand Asperger's or Autism, but I found this a really realistic portrayal of an honest, genuine young woman trying really hard to understand social cues and make friends while being utterly confused by sarcasm, figure of speech, and puns. Her good nature is taken advantage of in some really uncomfortable scenes, and I couldn't help but root for her from very early on. I also liked her neighbour, Sylvia, who seemed to have more faith in Elvira than her own mother ever did.
This is a nice, pleasant read that raised a smile on more than one occasion (that toilet paper thing is INGENIOUS). I really enjoyed it.
Thanks to the publisher for providing me with a digital copy via Netgalley.
Having read a number of books with main characters on the Spectrum (The Rosie Project, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time) and a couple of books about "quirky" young women used to being alone (Eileen, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine), I wasn't sure how this book could be unique.
Well, it is. Elvira is delightful - she's no Eleanor or even Eileen (thankfully), and she has a strong, interesting personality. Her quirks are hers alone - she's obsessed with biscuits, and can rattle off a handful of facts about McVitie's given the opportunity. Here, she is faced with a terrifying prospect - change. With her mother taken ill, things will change. While she knows this, she's not quite sure how to handle it - especially when her mother never really had any faith in her being able to do anything for herself (instead referring to her as "a life sentence").
I won't even begin to pretend that I understand Asperger's or Autism, but I found this a really realistic portrayal of an honest, genuine young woman trying really hard to understand social cues and make friends while being utterly confused by sarcasm, figure of speech, and puns. Her good nature is taken advantage of in some really uncomfortable scenes, and I couldn't help but root for her from very early on. I also liked her neighbour, Sylvia, who seemed to have more faith in Elvira than her own mother ever did.
This is a nice, pleasant read that raised a smile on more than one occasion (that toilet paper thing is INGENIOUS). I really enjoyed it.
Thanks to the publisher for providing me with a digital copy via Netgalley.
February 18, 2018
I would suggest this for fans of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. Elvira is in her 20s, she's not neurotypical, and her mother has kept her at home and by constant derision and negativity made her daughter feel completely unprepared to go out into the world and build a life. When her mother has a stroke and moves to a nursing facility, Elvira must challenge her own beliefs about the world and herself. To help her, she develops a list of seven rules for interacting with others, and it's awkward and heartwarming and funny. It's also sad, because
The author of this book teaches adults with learning difficulties, and I felt that she created characters that seemed real and sympathetic. I would definitely recommend books that are written *by* people who are not neurotypical in addition to this book, since nothing compares to someone telling their own story and drawing on their own experiences.
The author of this book teaches adults with learning difficulties, and I felt that she created characters that seemed real and sympathetic. I would definitely recommend books that are written *by* people who are not neurotypical in addition to this book, since nothing compares to someone telling their own story and drawing on their own experiences.
September 18, 2018
Another one I really really wanted to like, and couldn't.
The characters are one-dimensional.
The plot stretches credibility almost on every page. One short example - early on, no major spoilers: Elvira believes the netsuke animals have been brought to her from Japan. She spots a label on one that says 'Ashmole ..." and another that says 'Museum' and this baffles her. It's revealed two pages later that she has heard of the Ashmolean Museum. Yet she doesn't connect 'Ashmole ... Museum' with 'Ashmolean Museum,' and go "okay, so the netsukes came from the Ashmolean Museum, not from Japan - what does that mean?" it's just "gee, I wonder what Ashmole could mean!" She's Autistic, she's not STUPID. It's offensive to conflate the two. Also, if her father - who is also not stupid - were trying to convince her the netsukes had come from Japan, wouldn't he have TAKEN THE LABELS OFF? This sort of thing happens CONSTANTLY throughout the book.
The writing, in attempting to capture Elvira's voice, comes off as patronising and simplistic.
Every plot twist can be seen from a mile away.
Finished this just to see if got any better. It didn't.
The characters are one-dimensional.
The plot stretches credibility almost on every page. One short example - early on, no major spoilers: Elvira believes the netsuke animals have been brought to her from Japan. She spots a label on one that says 'Ashmole ..." and another that says 'Museum' and this baffles her. It's revealed two pages later that she has heard of the Ashmolean Museum. Yet she doesn't connect 'Ashmole ... Museum' with 'Ashmolean Museum,' and go "okay, so the netsukes came from the Ashmolean Museum, not from Japan - what does that mean?" it's just "gee, I wonder what Ashmole could mean!" She's Autistic, she's not STUPID. It's offensive to conflate the two. Also, if her father - who is also not stupid - were trying to convince her the netsukes had come from Japan, wouldn't he have TAKEN THE LABELS OFF? This sort of thing happens CONSTANTLY throughout the book.
The writing, in attempting to capture Elvira's voice, comes off as patronising and simplistic.
Every plot twist can be seen from a mile away.
Finished this just to see if got any better. It didn't.
December 5, 2016
When Elvira's controlling mother has a stroke and must enter a nursing home, Elvira is left living at home alone. She has a Condition (she's somewhere on the Autism spectrum) but despite often having trouble navigating societal rules, once she no longer has her mother's limitations placed on her, she blossoms. Elvira keeps the house clean, gets the groceries, visits her mother every day and starts volunteering once a week at Animal Arcadia, an animal rescue sanctuary. She writes out the seven rules of interacting with NormalTypicals and with the help of her very British neighbor Sylvia (think Bridget Jones but with adult age children) tries to figure out the reasoning behind them. She doesn't like change, but soon she can't avoid it as she learns there was a lot more to her father (now dead) than she realized.
Maynard hooked me from the start with Elvira's illuminating perspective. A very enjoyable story. Highly recommended. This would make a good book club pick.
Maynard hooked me from the start with Elvira's illuminating perspective. A very enjoyable story. Highly recommended. This would make a good book club pick.
November 25, 2024
Elvira bowled me over entirely. I loved this book so much.
I felt anger on her behalf often throughout the story. I related to her needs and I desperately wanted to throw a protective ring around her when she was treated badly, initially by her mother, but also by other characters throughout the novel.
Elvira has a lot of discovering in life to do and a hell of a lot to learn, every single triumph felt personal. And oh what huge achievements they were.
A wonderful mix of mystery and self discovery.
I Adored it!
The narrator captured Elvira’s story beautifully.
Perfect for fans of Cactus, Eleanor Oliphant or Margaret Small.
🎧 I think this one was an audible daily deal.
I felt anger on her behalf often throughout the story. I related to her needs and I desperately wanted to throw a protective ring around her when she was treated badly, initially by her mother, but also by other characters throughout the novel.
Elvira has a lot of discovering in life to do and a hell of a lot to learn, every single triumph felt personal. And oh what huge achievements they were.
A wonderful mix of mystery and self discovery.
I Adored it!
The narrator captured Elvira’s story beautifully.
Perfect for fans of Cactus, Eleanor Oliphant or Margaret Small.
🎧 I think this one was an audible daily deal.
August 21, 2017
One afternoon, Elvira's mother suddenly has a stroke and ends up in hospital, leaving Elvira alone and having to look after herself. Socially challenged, and only having known being ruled by an overpowering mother, Elvira finds herself learning to navigate her way through the days both physically and emotionally.
The novel is narrated in first person by Elvira which allows the reader to really see the world from her point of view. I thought this was really effective as the reader is fully aware of Elvira's responses and interpretations of situations which helps us not only understand her thought process and issues, but also ensures we form a strong bond with her. It is a challenge for any author to successful create a convincing character who suffers from the kind of issues Elvira has but Maynard definitely does this. There is a lot of gentle wit and humour on every page of this story and Elvira's stark, honest and obvious responses will make you smile. The author writes with heartwarming sensitivity and respect rather than mockery.
Elvira is not a character for us to pity either. The reader will feel sympathetic towards her but only in a supportive manner - and only with a realisation that actually our use of "figure of speech" or turn of phrase is sometimes ironic, illogical or confusing! No, Elvira does not need us to feel sorry for her or to closet her - her mother has been fiercely controlling of her and some of the things she has said to her in the past have been incredibly hurtful and destructive. Now her mother is in hospital, Elvira has the chance to see what she is indeed capable of and although she makes mistakes and misjudgements along the way, the reader is rooting for her and thrilled to see all that she does achieve.
To help navigate her way through her new independent life, Elvira develops a spreadsheet with rules. Her notes on why these rules are important and phrases she can use to help implement the rules are endearing, clever and insightful. They are a great framework on which to hang the story line and perhaps everyone can take something away from some of the rules Elvira tries to adhere to!
I also really enjoyed the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. They were as pertinent, poignant and heartfelt as any quote from literature of philosophy and I thought they underlined the essence of the book and what the author was trying to achieve.
It's always nice to be appreciated. And apologised to - Janice Drapkin, Checkout Operative, Asda.
I enjoyed this book. It is well written with a lovely turn of phrase which captures the personality of Elvira effectively. The use of dialogue is clever and I was impressed how well the author not only managed to create such a readable, likeable and well judged voice but also sustain it over the entire course of the novel. We have seen characters like Elvira in several other contemporary fiction novels but The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr definitely stands out and deserves to gain recognition. It is simple, understated, humorous and engaging. It has a bit of everything; sadness, loss, struggles, pain, friendship and happiness. There's also a bit of a mystery to solve as well. I recommend.
The novel is narrated in first person by Elvira which allows the reader to really see the world from her point of view. I thought this was really effective as the reader is fully aware of Elvira's responses and interpretations of situations which helps us not only understand her thought process and issues, but also ensures we form a strong bond with her. It is a challenge for any author to successful create a convincing character who suffers from the kind of issues Elvira has but Maynard definitely does this. There is a lot of gentle wit and humour on every page of this story and Elvira's stark, honest and obvious responses will make you smile. The author writes with heartwarming sensitivity and respect rather than mockery.
Elvira is not a character for us to pity either. The reader will feel sympathetic towards her but only in a supportive manner - and only with a realisation that actually our use of "figure of speech" or turn of phrase is sometimes ironic, illogical or confusing! No, Elvira does not need us to feel sorry for her or to closet her - her mother has been fiercely controlling of her and some of the things she has said to her in the past have been incredibly hurtful and destructive. Now her mother is in hospital, Elvira has the chance to see what she is indeed capable of and although she makes mistakes and misjudgements along the way, the reader is rooting for her and thrilled to see all that she does achieve.
To help navigate her way through her new independent life, Elvira develops a spreadsheet with rules. Her notes on why these rules are important and phrases she can use to help implement the rules are endearing, clever and insightful. They are a great framework on which to hang the story line and perhaps everyone can take something away from some of the rules Elvira tries to adhere to!
I also really enjoyed the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. They were as pertinent, poignant and heartfelt as any quote from literature of philosophy and I thought they underlined the essence of the book and what the author was trying to achieve.
It's always nice to be appreciated. And apologised to - Janice Drapkin, Checkout Operative, Asda.
I enjoyed this book. It is well written with a lovely turn of phrase which captures the personality of Elvira effectively. The use of dialogue is clever and I was impressed how well the author not only managed to create such a readable, likeable and well judged voice but also sustain it over the entire course of the novel. We have seen characters like Elvira in several other contemporary fiction novels but The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr definitely stands out and deserves to gain recognition. It is simple, understated, humorous and engaging. It has a bit of everything; sadness, loss, struggles, pain, friendship and happiness. There's also a bit of a mystery to solve as well. I recommend.
July 10, 2017
The Seven Rules of Elvira Carr by Frances Maynard is a very highly recommended look into the life of a twenty-seven year-old neuro-atypical woman.
Elvira Carr lives a very restricted life with her authoritarian, overbearing mother. She does tasks for her mother in their home and she goes to the store. Elvira follows the rules. She enjoys biscuits, has amassed a lot of information about each kind, and collects the packages. She also takes what people say at face value, which can be troubling.
When her mother has a stroke and Elvira is suddenly on her own, she knows she needs to make sure she is adapting and fitting into a world she has little experience navigating through. She sets up a meal schedule. She keeps the house clean. Her neighbor Sylvia helps her follow the bus schedule to visit her mom and expand her understanding of the world. When she takes a computer class and actually buys a computer, Elvira discovers that there are groups online of people just like her who find ways to fit into the world of Normal-typical people.
This is when Elvira writes her list of seven rules that will help her move around the world without getting into trouble and perhaps even have her differences go unnoticed. Sylvia helps refine and explain areas Elvira questions. The rules help Elvira understand the world and some of the troubling questions she has about her life with her mother and father.
The seven rules are:
Rule 1: Being Polite and Respectful is always a Good Idea. Rule 2: If you Look or Sound Different, you won’t Fit In. Rule 3: Conversation doesn’t just Exchange Facts - it Conveys how you’re Feeling. Rule 4: You learn by making Mistakes. Rule 5: Not Everyone who is Nice to me is my Friend. Rule 6: It’s better to be too Diplomatic than too Honest. Rule 7: Rules change depending on the Situation and the Person you are speaking to.
The writing is quite good. The narrative has Elvira experiencing a number of challenging incidents and her reactions are realistic and sometimes heartbreaking. Elvira will have your full support and devotion as she works out a way to live among the normal-typical people and their figures of speech that can be so troubling and difficult to understand. The only minor quibble I had with it was the convenience in the plot that her mother was wealthy enough to have a trust fund set up for Elvira so she could stay in her home. It worked for a heartwarming fictional story, but was a tab-bit too fortunate and opportune in the real world.
This is a wonderful, touching, and charming, novel about a young woman, likely on the Autism spectrum (although it is never specified), and how she figures out a way to cope in the real world of normal-typical people. You can tell that author Maynard works with adults with learning disabilities as she handles her character with an insight and compassion that sets this book apart from many others. It can be favorably compared to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and Be Frank With Me. The Seven Rules of Elvira Carr would be an excellent choice for a book club.
Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of Sourcebooks.
Elvira Carr lives a very restricted life with her authoritarian, overbearing mother. She does tasks for her mother in their home and she goes to the store. Elvira follows the rules. She enjoys biscuits, has amassed a lot of information about each kind, and collects the packages. She also takes what people say at face value, which can be troubling.
When her mother has a stroke and Elvira is suddenly on her own, she knows she needs to make sure she is adapting and fitting into a world she has little experience navigating through. She sets up a meal schedule. She keeps the house clean. Her neighbor Sylvia helps her follow the bus schedule to visit her mom and expand her understanding of the world. When she takes a computer class and actually buys a computer, Elvira discovers that there are groups online of people just like her who find ways to fit into the world of Normal-typical people.
This is when Elvira writes her list of seven rules that will help her move around the world without getting into trouble and perhaps even have her differences go unnoticed. Sylvia helps refine and explain areas Elvira questions. The rules help Elvira understand the world and some of the troubling questions she has about her life with her mother and father.
The seven rules are:
Rule 1: Being Polite and Respectful is always a Good Idea. Rule 2: If you Look or Sound Different, you won’t Fit In. Rule 3: Conversation doesn’t just Exchange Facts - it Conveys how you’re Feeling. Rule 4: You learn by making Mistakes. Rule 5: Not Everyone who is Nice to me is my Friend. Rule 6: It’s better to be too Diplomatic than too Honest. Rule 7: Rules change depending on the Situation and the Person you are speaking to.
The writing is quite good. The narrative has Elvira experiencing a number of challenging incidents and her reactions are realistic and sometimes heartbreaking. Elvira will have your full support and devotion as she works out a way to live among the normal-typical people and their figures of speech that can be so troubling and difficult to understand. The only minor quibble I had with it was the convenience in the plot that her mother was wealthy enough to have a trust fund set up for Elvira so she could stay in her home. It worked for a heartwarming fictional story, but was a tab-bit too fortunate and opportune in the real world.
This is a wonderful, touching, and charming, novel about a young woman, likely on the Autism spectrum (although it is never specified), and how she figures out a way to cope in the real world of normal-typical people. You can tell that author Maynard works with adults with learning disabilities as she handles her character with an insight and compassion that sets this book apart from many others. It can be favorably compared to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and Be Frank With Me. The Seven Rules of Elvira Carr would be an excellent choice for a book club.
Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of Sourcebooks.
March 18, 2021
This novel was heart-wrenching and gut-wrenching and fury-inducing..... I ached so much for all the sh** that Ellie put up with, first from her parents, then her neighbors, then her parents in their posthumous state, from coworkers, from strangers.... I wanted to outright slap her mother for her psychological, emotional, and mental abuse of Ellie. I wanted to slap Sylvia's family (though, not really Sylvia) for their extremely physically, emotional, and mentally abusive behavior toward Ellie. I wanted to slap Jane. To castrate Mark, and to give Katharine a severe talking to. It felt good to see Paul's Dad step in and give Ellie some of the caring parenting that she'd needed all along, and in her finer moments to see Sylvia also step up. But there were other points where I felt Sylvia was pushing Ellie too much to "mask." Where Agnes hadn't demanded that Ellie "mask" herself (she'd done so much wrong, but teaching Ellie to "mask" wasn't apparently something she wanted to put the effort into), Sylvia tries to "help" Ellie by insisting that she "mask" her own personality to be more socially acceptable. That hurt, that as lovely a person as Sylvia COULD be, she couldn't let Ellie be herself, either. Karen was lovely, though a bit obtuse to Ellie's struggles. Charlie was an absolute doll. Paul and his Dad just folded Ellie right into their world, and that was brilliant.
So much about this book that I enjoyed (even while I hated it), and other parts had me feeling a bit torn up by the ways in which my own (much milder!) struggles were mirrored by Ellie's story. I guess I'm grateful that my own obsession has been books and stories, which I feel has given me a much better grasp on people and their emotions and motives and expressions and personalities.
I picked this book off the library shelf not realizing until I got home that it wasn't written by Joyce Maynard, the author of _Labor Day_ (which I'd loved), but I'm very glad I got a bit confused and DID pick it up, because this was a story that will haunt me for a very long time. Now I look forward to finding more stories by Frances Maynard.
So much about this book that I enjoyed (even while I hated it), and other parts had me feeling a bit torn up by the ways in which my own (much milder!) struggles were mirrored by Ellie's story. I guess I'm grateful that my own obsession has been books and stories, which I feel has given me a much better grasp on people and their emotions and motives and expressions and personalities.
I picked this book off the library shelf not realizing until I got home that it wasn't written by Joyce Maynard, the author of _Labor Day_ (which I'd loved), but I'm very glad I got a bit confused and DID pick it up, because this was a story that will haunt me for a very long time. Now I look forward to finding more stories by Frances Maynard.
May 10, 2024
This books follows the life of Elvira (Ellie), a woman in her twenties who is presumed to be on the spectrum and is forced to become independent when her mother has a stroke.
The highlights for me were the people who came alongside her as she learned to be her own person. They were kind and gentle and helped her navigate life. She learned how to interact and form friendships which was sweet to see.
I struggled with the emotional abuse heaped on her although by the end of the book, I did understand where her mom’s anger came from. This book didn’t sugarcoat the hard parts of her story. I’m also not sure how accurate Ellie’s personality was. At times it felt like a stereotype and exaggerated but that may just be my lack of understanding. 3.5 stars, rounded up to 4.
The highlights for me were the people who came alongside her as she learned to be her own person. They were kind and gentle and helped her navigate life. She learned how to interact and form friendships which was sweet to see.
I struggled with the emotional abuse heaped on her although by the end of the book, I did understand where her mom’s anger came from. This book didn’t sugarcoat the hard parts of her story. I’m also not sure how accurate Ellie’s personality was. At times it felt like a stereotype and exaggerated but that may just be my lack of understanding. 3.5 stars, rounded up to 4.
January 15, 2020
This book will take you through a spectrum of emotions and is a beautiful story of a young woman who sees the world through different eyes.
Elvira is neuro-atypical and has trouble understanding social situations and relationships. She is the narrator of her own story and it is told in a very matter of fact manner. We are given an idea of what life is like for someone with this or a similar condition. Struggling to make sense of figures of speech we all so commonly use, baffled as to why people say one thing and mean another and trying to figure out if someone is a good person or not. Elvira often says, and I tend to agree, that life would be a lot easier if more people were like her.
I fell in love with Elvira from the very start of this book and she had me laughing, crying and angry throughout the novel. Her relationship with her Mother is described in snapshots and it is clear that she was a very bitter woman who made her frustrations with Elvira very clear. Elvira was never allowed to socialise, Mother used Incidents such as not getting off the bus at the correct stop and getting her purse stolen at the cinema, as proof that Elvira should not mix with the outside world. Instead, she isolated her at home, berating her for every little thing and making her do endless chores.
I felt Elvira’s story could have been so different had her Mother behaved in a different way. It made me feel so sad to read some of the things her Mother had said to her and instead of building her confidence and giving her techniques to cope in the outside world she kept her hidden as though she was a monster.
Elvira doubts herself and her ability at every turn. She wants a computer but Mother told her she would never manage with one, she wants to volunteer at an animal shelter but after certain Incidents she worries whether she will be able to cope. Her mother has completely crushed any self-belief and confidence Elvira had in herself and this book follows her as she tries to get that back.
Elvira makes some lovely friends throughout the book such as Sylvia-next-door and Paul – who has a similar condition to her but there are also some not so nice characters. One particular incident made me so, so angry and hurt on behalf of Elvira but I think it was good to include it in the book as it gave us a better understanding of how hard it is for her to identify bad people.
Elvira develops 7 rules to help her understand and interact with people more, and to fit in which poses the question, why does she have to make herself fit in with “normal” people? Why should she wear what they wear, speak how they speak and behave like everyone else. Why can’t WE just accept her for who she is?
Trying her best to follow the rules with the threat of sheltered accommodation hanging over her head, discovering and trying to solve mysteries about her Father and just enjoying a damn good biscuit, Elvira’s story will fill your heart and your head long after the book has finished.
Elvira is neuro-atypical and has trouble understanding social situations and relationships. She is the narrator of her own story and it is told in a very matter of fact manner. We are given an idea of what life is like for someone with this or a similar condition. Struggling to make sense of figures of speech we all so commonly use, baffled as to why people say one thing and mean another and trying to figure out if someone is a good person or not. Elvira often says, and I tend to agree, that life would be a lot easier if more people were like her.
I fell in love with Elvira from the very start of this book and she had me laughing, crying and angry throughout the novel. Her relationship with her Mother is described in snapshots and it is clear that she was a very bitter woman who made her frustrations with Elvira very clear. Elvira was never allowed to socialise, Mother used Incidents such as not getting off the bus at the correct stop and getting her purse stolen at the cinema, as proof that Elvira should not mix with the outside world. Instead, she isolated her at home, berating her for every little thing and making her do endless chores.
I felt Elvira’s story could have been so different had her Mother behaved in a different way. It made me feel so sad to read some of the things her Mother had said to her and instead of building her confidence and giving her techniques to cope in the outside world she kept her hidden as though she was a monster.
Elvira doubts herself and her ability at every turn. She wants a computer but Mother told her she would never manage with one, she wants to volunteer at an animal shelter but after certain Incidents she worries whether she will be able to cope. Her mother has completely crushed any self-belief and confidence Elvira had in herself and this book follows her as she tries to get that back.
Elvira makes some lovely friends throughout the book such as Sylvia-next-door and Paul – who has a similar condition to her but there are also some not so nice characters. One particular incident made me so, so angry and hurt on behalf of Elvira but I think it was good to include it in the book as it gave us a better understanding of how hard it is for her to identify bad people.
Elvira develops 7 rules to help her understand and interact with people more, and to fit in which poses the question, why does she have to make herself fit in with “normal” people? Why should she wear what they wear, speak how they speak and behave like everyone else. Why can’t WE just accept her for who she is?
Trying her best to follow the rules with the threat of sheltered accommodation hanging over her head, discovering and trying to solve mysteries about her Father and just enjoying a damn good biscuit, Elvira’s story will fill your heart and your head long after the book has finished.
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July 22, 2017The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr is a novel which will stick in your mind long after reading, stalking your thoughts as you go about everyday life. One being, groceries shopping. I couldn’t help but think of Elvira while I was browsing the biscuits section in Tesco. (You’ll see why if you read this novel.) She really does stick in your mind. I loved her from the very first page. She is one of the sweetest, memorable characters I’ve ever come across. And when I finished the book, I couldn’t help but wish there was a sequel.
27-year-old Elvira Carr’s life takes an unexpected turn when her mother suffers a stroke and is taken into hospital. So far there has been no need for her to navigate the pitfalls and missteps of society but now faced with a frightening path stretching out before her, Elvira makes a list of seven imperfect rules. Along with tips and advice and the aid of her friendly neighbour, the rules will guide and ease her into a world where she will have to interpret life’s signs and signals on her own, all the while trying to solve a family mystery.
You can’t help but root for Elvira throughout this novel. At times touching, others heartbreaking, it will grip you right up to the end. Elvira is one of the kindest, loveliest characters I’ve ever had the pleasure to read about. Her personality will enamour you, her strength and courage fixing your eyes to the engrossing prose. A tender, beautifully told story that will leave an Elvira-shaped impression in your mind even as you begin to read the next novel on your To-Be-Read pile.
A story about casting aside the bonds of a old life and finding a new path, tailored to your wants and needs, hopes and dreams. Marvellous.
Charming. Moving. Clever.
I received my review copy via the publisher
27-year-old Elvira Carr’s life takes an unexpected turn when her mother suffers a stroke and is taken into hospital. So far there has been no need for her to navigate the pitfalls and missteps of society but now faced with a frightening path stretching out before her, Elvira makes a list of seven imperfect rules. Along with tips and advice and the aid of her friendly neighbour, the rules will guide and ease her into a world where she will have to interpret life’s signs and signals on her own, all the while trying to solve a family mystery.
You can’t help but root for Elvira throughout this novel. At times touching, others heartbreaking, it will grip you right up to the end. Elvira is one of the kindest, loveliest characters I’ve ever had the pleasure to read about. Her personality will enamour you, her strength and courage fixing your eyes to the engrossing prose. A tender, beautifully told story that will leave an Elvira-shaped impression in your mind even as you begin to read the next novel on your To-Be-Read pile.
A story about casting aside the bonds of a old life and finding a new path, tailored to your wants and needs, hopes and dreams. Marvellous.
Charming. Moving. Clever.
I received my review copy via the publisher
October 3, 2017
Interesting premise but predictable outcome. While the writing is well done and the chapter headings an inventive approach the story has predictable ending. The characters are all almost too good and too kind. The story of either an autistic or mentally challenged women left on her own at age 27. She. Runs into really nice people ..no one takes advantage of her. The people she meets and the challenges she faces are real and difficult to imagine she can surmount them with little or no help.
September 9, 2022
4.5! I've been so excited to read this as I've heard it's similar to ''Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine" a story which I've loved, and I can definitely see the similarities.
Overall, I really enjoyed this story, some of the situations that Elvira ended up in were truly heart-breaking. I'd recommend this to anyone, especially if you've enjoyed Eleanor Oliphant!
Overall, I really enjoyed this story, some of the situations that Elvira ended up in were truly heart-breaking. I'd recommend this to anyone, especially if you've enjoyed Eleanor Oliphant!
August 18, 2017
The writing in this book was superb. The author created such depth in the characters that I almost became attached to them. The underlying storyline is interesting but it was truly the character dynamics and the portrayal of Elvira that pulled me in. I couldn't put it down. Loved it.
November 12, 2017
I thought this book exposed readers to knew way to view the characteristic of aspergers in a positive light. The undeceptive qualitives they possess are something that Nero Typicals could use a little of. An interesting read.
April 21, 2020
I had to DNF this book, because Elvira's character is completely defined by her autism. She's basically just a walking checklist of symptoms and doesn't come off like an actual person, she's just a cardboard cut out representative of a condition.
August 29, 2021
Interesting, interesting book.
Elvira is a 27 year old woman who lives on the spectrum. She still lives with her mother because of her “condition”. Her mother has not been supportive at all, and, has acted ashamed of her daughter's condition. The mother has a stroke, has to go to a special care home and now, Elvira has to manage on her own.
We are taken through the trials and tribulations as Elvira makes her way through life. To help herself, she makes a list of seven rules. She believes that these rules can help her live in the “normal” world. Neuro Typicals is the term that Elvira applies to people who are not like she is.
Elvira has a support system of sorts. There is a kind librarian who encourages her to learn how to use a computer. Sylvia is her next door neighbour who helps out with practical things and is also a friend. Paul is a co-volunteer at an animal shelter who makes Elvira feel comfortable because he is also on the spectrum.
Throughout the book, there is a mystery/secret that Elvira is trying to figure out. To the reader, it is fairly obvious but it takes Elvira a while to put all the pieces together.
Elvira has extensive knowledge about cookies. She knows all the brands and the history if these brands. She saves the labels and boxes of her favourite brands. I found this very endearing.
One of her biggest challenges is that she takes absolutely everything literally. I don't think that many of us realize how full of idioms our language is. When Elvira learns that a neighbour's son has been moonlighting and has saved every penny he earned she imagines him working under the moon and being paid in stacks of pennies. She gradually learns how to recognize “Figures of Speech”.
It is interesting to watch Elvira come into her own and gain confidence in herself and life. At times, she is surprisingly intuitive. She forges her way into the world, determined to be able to live on her own, not wanting to go to sheltered care. But it is not an easy journey. Because she is vulnerable and does not understand the ways of the world, it is easy to take advantage.
This is a well written book. The author has first-hand experience, as a teacher, with adults who have Aspergers. This gives her the ability to develop Elvira's character realistically. We see the difficulties that Elvira (and others like her) experiences in the everyday world. The only complaint I have about the book is that it is a bit drawn out. With artful editing, it could gave been condensed a bit.
Those that enjoyed The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime, Eleanor Oliphant, The Rosie Project will probably find this book interesting. These books can help to gives us insight and some understanding into the lives of those whose thought processes are different from ours.
Elvira is a 27 year old woman who lives on the spectrum. She still lives with her mother because of her “condition”. Her mother has not been supportive at all, and, has acted ashamed of her daughter's condition. The mother has a stroke, has to go to a special care home and now, Elvira has to manage on her own.
We are taken through the trials and tribulations as Elvira makes her way through life. To help herself, she makes a list of seven rules. She believes that these rules can help her live in the “normal” world. Neuro Typicals is the term that Elvira applies to people who are not like she is.
Elvira has a support system of sorts. There is a kind librarian who encourages her to learn how to use a computer. Sylvia is her next door neighbour who helps out with practical things and is also a friend. Paul is a co-volunteer at an animal shelter who makes Elvira feel comfortable because he is also on the spectrum.
Throughout the book, there is a mystery/secret that Elvira is trying to figure out. To the reader, it is fairly obvious but it takes Elvira a while to put all the pieces together.
Elvira has extensive knowledge about cookies. She knows all the brands and the history if these brands. She saves the labels and boxes of her favourite brands. I found this very endearing.
One of her biggest challenges is that she takes absolutely everything literally. I don't think that many of us realize how full of idioms our language is. When Elvira learns that a neighbour's son has been moonlighting and has saved every penny he earned she imagines him working under the moon and being paid in stacks of pennies. She gradually learns how to recognize “Figures of Speech”.
It is interesting to watch Elvira come into her own and gain confidence in herself and life. At times, she is surprisingly intuitive. She forges her way into the world, determined to be able to live on her own, not wanting to go to sheltered care. But it is not an easy journey. Because she is vulnerable and does not understand the ways of the world, it is easy to take advantage.
This is a well written book. The author has first-hand experience, as a teacher, with adults who have Aspergers. This gives her the ability to develop Elvira's character realistically. We see the difficulties that Elvira (and others like her) experiences in the everyday world. The only complaint I have about the book is that it is a bit drawn out. With artful editing, it could gave been condensed a bit.
Those that enjoyed The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime, Eleanor Oliphant, The Rosie Project will probably find this book interesting. These books can help to gives us insight and some understanding into the lives of those whose thought processes are different from ours.
June 12, 2017
I was rooting for Elvira. This is perfect for those who enjoyed "The Rosie Project" or the "Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime." In addition to Ellie's coming of age story there's a good subplot regarding unraveling family secrets. You'll laugh at some of her observations and you'll get a bit teary at some of the tougher situations she finds herself in, but all along you'll be rooting for her.
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