Homens Aconselhando Homens

by John D. Street (Organizer)

Vivemos em uma cultura onde a definição de homem é confusa e corrompida porque as pessoas rejeitaram a Deus e Sua Palavra e enveredaram-se por um caminho idólatra preferindo adorar a criatura ao Criador (Rm 1.21,25).

Nossa cultura sofre pelo fato de ter rejeitado ao Criador e seus desígnios para Sua criatura. Não há sabedoria do alto numa sociedade que muda a verdade de Deus em mentira e muda a glória de Deus em semelhança do que é corruptível (Rm 1.23,25).

Embora reivindique para si ser sábia e evoluída, aos olhos de Deus a nossa cultura é louca, nula em seus raciocínios, obscurecida (Rm 1.21,22) e os conselhos que oferece para os homens são conselhos loucos, desprovidos da sabedoria divina.

Este livro visa lidar com os muitos dilemas da vida de um homem, não pela perspectiva corrompida e distorcida do nosso tempo, que não define nem distingue mais as características masculinas, e sim pela perspectiva da imutável, santa, incorruptível e perfeita Palavra de Deus. São conselhos que visam tornar o homem mais piedoso, mais consciente de sua própria pecaminosidade bem como da grandeza e santidade de Deus.

Genres: Counselling, Christian, Christian Living, Parenting, Nonfiction, Marriage

567 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2013

About the author

John Street is the chair of the graduate program in biblical counseling at The Master’s College and teaches pastoral counseling at The Master’s Seminary. He contributes regularly to The Biblical Counselor and The Journal of Biblical Counseling and is a fellow, board member, and vice president of the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors (NANC).

Reviews

[Chad · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of chapters by various male biblical counselors, addressing major sin issues men deal with. They identify the sin and the need to change, then explain how to change with God's help. I skipped a few chapters that aren't relevant to me at this point.

Notes
When A Man Gets Angry
Process of biblical change from sin of anger to practice of holiness: recognize sinful anger > change desires > trust God's promises > replace anger with love and a forgiving heart.

First Peter 2:23 tells us how He dealt with temptation: 'He … continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.' Jesus was confident that God, His Father in Heaven, was in control of His circumstances. He also knew that His Father would strengthen Him to resist the temptation to sin, and He did.

To replace anger with love and forgiveness, develop new habits of thinking and doing. When a person's words or actions tempt you to be angry, ask yourself, "How can I love this person? What sins must I be ready to forgive? How can I show kindness to this person who has hurt me with their words?"

Verses about anger
Gen 4:6
Prov 14:29; 15:1; 16:18; 19:11; 29:22
John 13:34-35
Eph 4:31-32
Jas 1:19-20; 4:1-2

Anger journal
1. What happened just before I was tempted to get angry? What did I think? What did I want?
2. What emotions was I feeling?
3. When tempted to choose anger, what did I do and say?
4. Why did I do that?
5. What Bible verse best describes my response?
6. What were the right things to want and do (include Scripture)?

Contentment for Men
Contentment isn't passivity (not pursuing goals), asceticism, or mental gymnastics (determining to be content against all odds). It's "being thoroughly satisfied with all that God has graciously provided."

It's OK to enjoy wealth God gives (Ecc 5:19-20).

Choose to
• Be satisfied (Heb 13:5; 11:24-25)
• Establish godly priorities (Josh 24:20-24)
• See God in all circumstances
• Be cheerful because of who you are in Christ
• Trust God

We can have joy regardless of circumstances by looking beyond them to God who's sovereign over them (Rom 8:28).

How to Develop Biblical Relationships
The "one another" passages help us understand in practical terms how God wants us to love our neighbor (Matt 26:36-40).

"One another" passages
• Prefer (Rom 12:10; Phil 2:3-4)
• Speak truthfully (Eph 4:25)
• Be kind (Eph 4:32; Prov 15:1)
• Forgive (Eph 4:32; Luke 17:1-4)
• Bear with (Col 3:13; 1 Cor 13:7)
• Stir up to love and good works (Heb 10:24)
• Be hospitable (1 Pet 4:9)
• Love (1 Thess 3:12; 1 Cor 13:4-8)

To put on being kind, you must put off bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, malice (Eph 4:22-32).

Getting easily annoyed with others is a manifestation of pride rearing its ugly head. When we get annoyed, we are basically saying that we are less annoying than the other person. We are saying we are better than the other person.

Parenting Young Children as a Father
Before you lash out or blow up in front of child, ask yourself, "Is this how I want my child to behave when angry?"

Ways we provoke our children (Eph 6:4)
• Comparing siblings
• Pushing achievements
• Discouraging
• Making them feel like an intrusion on your life
• Not letting them grow up (not allowing mistakes, overreacting to small accidents)

"Maintain an eternal perspective in your thinking and motivation. Consider it a privilege to have an active role in shaping not only the character of your children, but their perception of God."

Helping Men Resolve Conflict
Duty doesn't necessarily equal love. You must feel for and be relational with and compassionate towards others.

In Christ, you can put on "compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience" (Col 3:12-13).

Manhandling Idolatrous Lusts
A preoccupation with money can be lust for security.

Appendix Two: Quick Reference Guide for Men's Problems
Fear
Ps 27:1; 56:10-11
Prov 14:26-27
Matt 10:28
Rom 8:15
2 Tim 1:7
Heb 13:5-6
1 John 4:18

Worry
Ps 37:3-7
Prov 12:25; 14:30; 17:22
Matt 6:25-34
Phil 4:6-8
1 Pet 5:6-7

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. I've been using some of the chapters in my counseling ministry with both men and women. The chapters on afflictions, depression, and emotions are particularly good.

[Romans Sendriks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Various authors, under Dr. John D. Street’s leadership have addressed all possible life issues that 21st century men could perhaps face. In handling these major life issues, the book presents or suggests different, but very appropriate Bible passages that encourage men to handle such issues with a Christ-like attitude. Since this book aims to encourage men to deal with life challenging issues from a biblical perspective, it gives a proper place to Scripture. The word of God is referred throughout this book as a fundamental tool in counseling men in wisdom and discernment.

[Bob · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a joy it is to read so many biblical, thorough, and applicable articles covering everything from God's idea of the meaning of life to a man's struggle with lust and immorality. These articles each are guided and fully given from Scripture. Some of the articles could very easily go deeper and be more fully explored, but the basic principles from the text are given, providing a framework for counselors to dive deeper and know they are within orthodox understanding of these problems.

I heartily recommend this if you counsel men at all (which should be every Christian man).

[Andrew Krom · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book that helps the reader work through various topics in biblical counseling relating to men. One thing that I found especially helpful about this book is the appendices containing a list of biblical passages for any biblical counseling issue you could think of. My biggest critique of this book is that it is dated at certain points.

[Anthony Locke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid counseling book, but not that interesting. Most chapters had a similar framework for how to work through issues (identify, confess, repent) so it seemed to lack nuance in places. It was great to discuss the book with friends though!

[Christian Fiction Addiction · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any real man would admit that we guys can be complex individuals, although of course we universally find women even more complex! Men today face challenges that men have always faced, but they are compounded by massive temptations that were not even a reality 20 years ago. For example, the explosion of internet porn has led to a whole host of addictions and temptations that are having a profound effect on men in the church, on their marriages, on their purity. Counseling men through areas of sexual purity, depression and hopelessness, adultery, anger, and other areas like controlling anger or difficulties parenting, requires great wisdom and knowledge. The book "Men Counseling Men" has been created as a resource for godly men to rise up and provide support to other men facing a variety of issues, providing a guide for solid biblical counseling. The book is arranged into helpful categories that make for easy reference, and the wisdom contained in the pages of this book is wonderful indeed. I love the focus that is taken of calling on the power of God's Word to revolutionize lives, and putting into action the reality that God really does have an answer for every issue we face! The appendix at the end that lists a variety of scriptures revelant to each challenge area (i.e. depression) is absolutely valuable!

As a man myself who is involved in leadership roles in the church, which involves coming alongside other men to support and love them through facing difficult issues, "Men Counselling Men" is the book I didn't even realize I needed. I am grateful to the author for providing such a valuable and practical resource. I strongly recommend this book for counselors and pastors involved in working with men, and award it 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Book has been provided courtesy of the publisher, Harvest House, for the purposes of this unbiased review.

[Mark Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

A rich resource, each of the 22 chapters representing 2-3 years of graduate degree research by the individual authors. Many helpful appendices and chapter notes of original sources. Loaded with powerful and practical help that firmly relies on the sufficiency of the Word of God for all our needs.

[Ryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

A helpful introductory resource to biblical counseling. My opinion is that you would have to further supplement each chapter with other resources since each chapter is not very nuanced in the issues themselves. I think this is a good book to help discuss issues in a biblical way with others.

[Jonathan Klimek · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent work by 22 Authors and 1 Editor

Addressing a wide scope of heart conditions that manifest in various ways, these authors through the use of Scripture present each sin Biblically and provide the Biblical solution.