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San Francisco. Summer, 1947. A dame walks into a saloon . . .
It’s not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It’s love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an Air Force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. ’Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he’s got the connections on the street.
Meanwhile, a suspicious flying object has been spotted up the Pacific coast near Mount Rainier, followed by a mysterious plane crash in a distant patch of desert in New Mexico that goes by the name Roswell. But that's nothing compared to the real weirdness happening on the streets of the City by the Bay.
Before long, Sammy and the Cheese are making time and having a gas. But when one of Sammy’s schemes goes south and the lady vanishes, Sammy must contend with his own dark secrets as he follows a tortuous trail from Chinatown to Telegraph Hill to a hidden forest enclave in a desperate search to find his girl.
Think Raymond Chandler meets "Men in Black" with more than a dash of the Looney Tunes All Stars. It's all very, very "Noir."
It’s not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It’s love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an Air Force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. ’Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he’s got the connections on the street.
Meanwhile, a suspicious flying object has been spotted up the Pacific coast near Mount Rainier, followed by a mysterious plane crash in a distant patch of desert in New Mexico that goes by the name Roswell. But that's nothing compared to the real weirdness happening on the streets of the City by the Bay.
Before long, Sammy and the Cheese are making time and having a gas. But when one of Sammy’s schemes goes south and the lady vanishes, Sammy must contend with his own dark secrets as he follows a tortuous trail from Chinatown to Telegraph Hill to a hidden forest enclave in a desperate search to find his girl.
Think Raymond Chandler meets "Men in Black" with more than a dash of the Looney Tunes All Stars. It's all very, very "Noir."
352 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2018
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30668 people want to read
About the author
Christopher Moore
114 books91.6k followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Christopher Moore is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.
Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters suddenly struggling through supernatural or extraordinary circumstances. Inheriting a humanism from his love of John Steinbeck and a sense of the absurd from Kurt Vonnegut, Moore is a best-selling author with major cult status.
Christopher Moore is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.
Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters suddenly struggling through supernatural or extraordinary circumstances. Inheriting a humanism from his love of John Steinbeck and a sense of the absurd from Kurt Vonnegut, Moore is a best-selling author with major cult status.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,430 reviews
May 18, 2018
Well, it's been a while since I've read a book that should have been accompanied by a drum set, in order to generate rimshots after every joke, but this definitely felt like one of those!!
"There are times in a guy's life when he finds himself floating facedown in a sea of troubles, and as hope bubbles away, he thinks, How the hell did I get here?"
It's 1947 in San Francisco. The country has just started putting all of its pieces back together following World War II. Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin is the evening bartender at Sal's Saloon, and he spends his evenings helping the city's denizens bury their troubles with the help of cheap liquor. Sam always has his hand in some other scheme, either because he needs to make more money or he has connections that range throughout the city. (Most often both.)
Then one night, of all of the gin joints in the world, in she walks—a flirtatious blonde, "a size-eight dame in a size-six dress and every mug in the joint was rooting for the two sizes to make a break for it as they watched her wiggle in the door and shimmy onto a barstool with her back to the door." The dame, it turns out, is named Stilton (like the cheese), and she takes a shine to Sammy. And the shine is more than mutual.
As much as Sammy would like to do nothing more than romance "the Cheese" (as everyone refers to Stilton), he's got his hands full. His boss wants him to recruit a group of women to "entertain" a bunch of VIPs. He may have been inadvertently involved in the assault and kidnapping of a somewhat racist policeman. Oh, and he might have also brought a deadly black mamba snake into San Francisco—and the snake didn't waste time before inflicting some damage.
But is that why two dark-suited, sunglasses-wearing g-men are on his trail? Or is there something else?
When the Cheese goes missing, Sammy needs to take action. He recruits a motley group of friends and associates to help him follow her trail, and it leads them into the middle of one hell of a mess, with cross-dressing members of a secret club, government investigators bent on "taking care" of anyone that gets in their way, and, well, there may be a space alien in the mix as well.
Sammy doesn't know what to make of any of it, but he knows he wants the Cheese back, so he'll take on any enemy that comes his way—even if it may be carrying a space blaster.
Noir is a wacky, corny, somewhat disjointed novel that is simultaneously funny, odd, confusing, and downright bizarre. But all of these adjectives perfectly describe the storytelling of Christopher Moore, author of books like The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove and Island of the Sequined Love-Nun , among others. As I saw in the description of this book, "Think Raymond Chandler meets Damon Runyon with more than a dash of Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes All Stars," but I'd throw in a little Men in Black as well.
I was a big fan of Moore's in the late 1990s and early 2000s, but after a while I found myself rolling my eyes more than laughing when I read his books. For some reason I expected something slightly different from Noir , and while it started out that way, by the end there were so many competing storylines, not to mention occasional narration from Petey the black mamba snake, that I just wasn't sure what I was reading.
This is a book that takes on its story with great gusto. I marveled at Moore's creativity, but all in all, Noir didn't quite work for me. However, if zany, no-holds-barred books pique your interest, definitely give this one a try.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com, or check out my list of the best books I read in 2017 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2018/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2017.html.
"There are times in a guy's life when he finds himself floating facedown in a sea of troubles, and as hope bubbles away, he thinks, How the hell did I get here?"
It's 1947 in San Francisco. The country has just started putting all of its pieces back together following World War II. Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin is the evening bartender at Sal's Saloon, and he spends his evenings helping the city's denizens bury their troubles with the help of cheap liquor. Sam always has his hand in some other scheme, either because he needs to make more money or he has connections that range throughout the city. (Most often both.)
Then one night, of all of the gin joints in the world, in she walks—a flirtatious blonde, "a size-eight dame in a size-six dress and every mug in the joint was rooting for the two sizes to make a break for it as they watched her wiggle in the door and shimmy onto a barstool with her back to the door." The dame, it turns out, is named Stilton (like the cheese), and she takes a shine to Sammy. And the shine is more than mutual.
As much as Sammy would like to do nothing more than romance "the Cheese" (as everyone refers to Stilton), he's got his hands full. His boss wants him to recruit a group of women to "entertain" a bunch of VIPs. He may have been inadvertently involved in the assault and kidnapping of a somewhat racist policeman. Oh, and he might have also brought a deadly black mamba snake into San Francisco—and the snake didn't waste time before inflicting some damage.
But is that why two dark-suited, sunglasses-wearing g-men are on his trail? Or is there something else?
When the Cheese goes missing, Sammy needs to take action. He recruits a motley group of friends and associates to help him follow her trail, and it leads them into the middle of one hell of a mess, with cross-dressing members of a secret club, government investigators bent on "taking care" of anyone that gets in their way, and, well, there may be a space alien in the mix as well.
Sammy doesn't know what to make of any of it, but he knows he wants the Cheese back, so he'll take on any enemy that comes his way—even if it may be carrying a space blaster.
Noir is a wacky, corny, somewhat disjointed novel that is simultaneously funny, odd, confusing, and downright bizarre. But all of these adjectives perfectly describe the storytelling of Christopher Moore, author of books like The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove and Island of the Sequined Love-Nun , among others. As I saw in the description of this book, "Think Raymond Chandler meets Damon Runyon with more than a dash of Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes All Stars," but I'd throw in a little Men in Black as well.
I was a big fan of Moore's in the late 1990s and early 2000s, but after a while I found myself rolling my eyes more than laughing when I read his books. For some reason I expected something slightly different from Noir , and while it started out that way, by the end there were so many competing storylines, not to mention occasional narration from Petey the black mamba snake, that I just wasn't sure what I was reading.
This is a book that takes on its story with great gusto. I marveled at Moore's creativity, but all in all, Noir didn't quite work for me. However, if zany, no-holds-barred books pique your interest, definitely give this one a try.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com, or check out my list of the best books I read in 2017 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2018/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2017.html.
May 29, 2018
This book is an awesomely unique and entertaining ride. I was enthralled every second and frequently found myself laughing out loud. Vocalizing while reading is almost always a good thing!
Moore really captures the feel of old hard boiled stories and film noir. And, while he is often over the top and exaggerating some of the noir tropes for humorous effect, it does not feel silly. Instead it feels witty, creative, controversial, and more.
Moore definitely has a feel to his characters, and that is not a bad thing. As all the characters were introduced and went through their development, I kept being reminded of the characters from A Dirty Job and Secondhand Souls. But, again, Moore does such a great job with his characters, I don't mind!
If you are a fan of Moore's other work, hard boiled mystery, comic relief, and/or your characters talking like they are hanging out in a speakeasy, you must check this book out!
April 23, 2018
I was sure I was going to love this one. After all, a book by Christopher Moore that threatens to combine two of my favorite fictions - humor and crime . . . what's not to love?
And, it does get off to a great start . . .
She had the kind of legs that kept her butt from resting on her shoes...
OMG! Surely this promises to be the Airplane! of the noir genre!
Well, it's not.
And, don't call me Shirley.
I probably enjoyed about half of this. To be fair, there is a lot to love, what with a killer snake, a corpsicle, some men in black, and a giant, naked cop in a pink kimono, BUT the last third of the book descends into extreme silliness. And if I think something is too silly, it's REALLY too silly. Moore's one-line zingers are great, and plentiful, but I wish he'd stuck with the noir bits, and left the on the cutting room floor.
And, it does get off to a great start . . .
She had the kind of legs that kept her butt from resting on her shoes...
OMG! Surely this promises to be the Airplane! of the noir genre!
Well, it's not.
And, don't call me Shirley.
I probably enjoyed about half of this. To be fair, there is a lot to love, what with a killer snake, a corpsicle, some men in black, and a giant, naked cop in a pink kimono, BUT the last third of the book descends into extreme silliness. And if I think something is too silly, it's REALLY too silly. Moore's one-line zingers are great, and plentiful, but I wish he'd stuck with the noir bits, and left the on the cutting room floor.
May 23, 2018
Down these mean streets a man must go. Or to be more accurate in the case of Sammy ‘Two Toes’ Tiffin – down these mean streets a man must limp.
It’s 1947 in San Francisco where Sammy is a good guy with some skeletons in his closet who works as a bartender which is how he meets a beautiful blonde named Stilton, a/k/a the Cheese. As far as Sammy is concerned the Cheese stands alone, and he falls for her instantly. Unfortunately, his attempts at romance are hindered by his sleazy boss insisting that he procure some women for an Air Force general who wants to take them into the woods to provide entertainment for an elite club made up of influential men. Sammy is also working on get-rich-quick scheme that involves selling a deadly snake, there’s a racist cop causing trouble, and the news has reports about a strange incident in Roswell, New Mexico.
Since this was Christopher Moore writing a book called Noir I wasn’t expecting it to be James Cain or Jim Thompson. However, I was kind of hoping that he might stretch himself a little and be a bit less Christopher Moore. That's why I ultimately found this kind of disappointing because he gives it a try at first, but quickly throws it out the window to just write what he always does.
That’s the shame of it because the first couple of chapters do come across as Moore actually satirizing a noir novel with overblown pulpy language and a bunch of really solid jokes based on the concept. If he’d have stuck with that and resisted the urge to just do his usual thing of introducing the weird and/or supernatural he might have really had something. But then we get to the stuff about the aliens, and while it’s still got some laughs, it’s also a formula that Moore has done in pretty much every book.
I also found the shifting POV to be problematic. We start off with Sammy in the first person which lets him do the parody of the classic hard boiled crime novel which I wanted more of. But then Moore shifts to a third person narration which we later find out is coming from a very unlikely source. So the book starts off with this distinct voice which I was into, but when it shifts into something else which is when it becomes standard Moore. Then he tries to go back to first person Sammy telling the story, but he’d lost the tone of what he started with. Which was what I liked best and wanted more of.
It’s not a complete waste of time. Moore is just inherently funny and there are a lot of solid gags and lines that made me chuckle. But I wish he’d managed to actually write a noir parody instead of just doing the thing that comes easiest to him. If he wanted to write something in this time period and have aliens in it then why not do a pulpy '50s sci-fi kind of thing rather than claiming in the title that it's going to be a genre that it has almost nothing to do with?
It’s 1947 in San Francisco where Sammy is a good guy with some skeletons in his closet who works as a bartender which is how he meets a beautiful blonde named Stilton, a/k/a the Cheese. As far as Sammy is concerned the Cheese stands alone, and he falls for her instantly. Unfortunately, his attempts at romance are hindered by his sleazy boss insisting that he procure some women for an Air Force general who wants to take them into the woods to provide entertainment for an elite club made up of influential men. Sammy is also working on get-rich-quick scheme that involves selling a deadly snake, there’s a racist cop causing trouble, and the news has reports about a strange incident in Roswell, New Mexico.
Since this was Christopher Moore writing a book called Noir I wasn’t expecting it to be James Cain or Jim Thompson. However, I was kind of hoping that he might stretch himself a little and be a bit less Christopher Moore. That's why I ultimately found this kind of disappointing because he gives it a try at first, but quickly throws it out the window to just write what he always does.
That’s the shame of it because the first couple of chapters do come across as Moore actually satirizing a noir novel with overblown pulpy language and a bunch of really solid jokes based on the concept. If he’d have stuck with that and resisted the urge to just do his usual thing of introducing the weird and/or supernatural he might have really had something. But then we get to the stuff about the aliens, and while it’s still got some laughs, it’s also a formula that Moore has done in pretty much every book.
I also found the shifting POV to be problematic. We start off with Sammy in the first person which lets him do the parody of the classic hard boiled crime novel which I wanted more of. But then Moore shifts to a third person narration which we later find out is coming from a very unlikely source. So the book starts off with this distinct voice which I was into, but when it shifts into something else which is when it becomes standard Moore. Then he tries to go back to first person Sammy telling the story, but he’d lost the tone of what he started with. Which was what I liked best and wanted more of.
It’s not a complete waste of time. Moore is just inherently funny and there are a lot of solid gags and lines that made me chuckle. But I wish he’d managed to actually write a noir parody instead of just doing the thing that comes easiest to him. If he wanted to write something in this time period and have aliens in it then why not do a pulpy '50s sci-fi kind of thing rather than claiming in the title that it's going to be a genre that it has almost nothing to do with?
June 2, 2018
“You stinkin’ wallabies are in hot water now.”
Something is happening with me and Christopher Moore. The relationship is getting a little long in the tooth I feel, because his books just don’t do for me what they use to. When I first discovered him, I really enjoyed (and tore through) his novels. Now I read his books, they keep my attention, but they leave me feeling nothing.
“Noir” is a prime example of that. It is on the edge of being a clever, intriguing book. It never gets there. The premise is classic noir style, a “dame” walks into a bar, and for a while, it feels like the style and cadence of the text is like some standard noir fiction. Then it gets off the rails a little, and is noir in title only, which Mr. Moore himself admits in his Afterward.
The weakness of this text is that it tries to do too many things, and as a result does none of them well. Moore just can’t resist throwing in some of his fantastical elements. I wish he would write more books where he does not have to have monsters, aliens, or some other ridiculousness. It is okay, and I enjoy it from time to time, but can he do anything else? There are bunches of plot points introduced, and none of them are resolved with any real seriousness, which detracts greatly. And this is why I could not have told you what “Noir” was about a week after having finished it.
Some strengths of the text…I loved the character The Kid. He and his voice are easily one of the novel’s strongest, and funniest, elements. The point of view when delivered by the protagonist, Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin, is also enjoyable to read. Moore can write some awesome character voices and styles. But the alternative point of view in the novel is from the POV of a snake, who talks and thinks like a human (see my earlier point about stupid things) and has nothing to do with any established major plot points. The writer just could not leave well enough alone.
I read “Noir” quickly, and I am not irritated I read it. I just wish I had waited to purchase it until I saw it in the bargain paperback bin.
Something is happening with me and Christopher Moore. The relationship is getting a little long in the tooth I feel, because his books just don’t do for me what they use to. When I first discovered him, I really enjoyed (and tore through) his novels. Now I read his books, they keep my attention, but they leave me feeling nothing.
“Noir” is a prime example of that. It is on the edge of being a clever, intriguing book. It never gets there. The premise is classic noir style, a “dame” walks into a bar, and for a while, it feels like the style and cadence of the text is like some standard noir fiction. Then it gets off the rails a little, and is noir in title only, which Mr. Moore himself admits in his Afterward.
The weakness of this text is that it tries to do too many things, and as a result does none of them well. Moore just can’t resist throwing in some of his fantastical elements. I wish he would write more books where he does not have to have monsters, aliens, or some other ridiculousness. It is okay, and I enjoy it from time to time, but can he do anything else? There are bunches of plot points introduced, and none of them are resolved with any real seriousness, which detracts greatly. And this is why I could not have told you what “Noir” was about a week after having finished it.
Some strengths of the text…I loved the character The Kid. He and his voice are easily one of the novel’s strongest, and funniest, elements. The point of view when delivered by the protagonist, Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin, is also enjoyable to read. Moore can write some awesome character voices and styles. But the alternative point of view in the novel is from the POV of a snake, who talks and thinks like a human (see my earlier point about stupid things) and has nothing to do with any established major plot points. The writer just could not leave well enough alone.
I read “Noir” quickly, and I am not irritated I read it. I just wish I had waited to purchase it until I saw it in the bargain paperback bin.
October 19, 2017
I’ll start by saying I enjoyed this book from beginning to end.
That being said, the first half didn’t have the feel of a Christopher Moore novel. Fans will know what I mean. It was good, but not Lamb, good.
Now halfway through something happens. Something delicious and crazy and perfectly Squirrel People. And from that point on, it is most definitely a Christopher Moore book.
The man has yet to fail me. And Lamb still holds top spot for best book of all time.
That being said, the first half didn’t have the feel of a Christopher Moore novel. Fans will know what I mean. It was good, but not Lamb, good.
Now halfway through something happens. Something delicious and crazy and perfectly Squirrel People. And from that point on, it is most definitely a Christopher Moore book.
The man has yet to fail me. And Lamb still holds top spot for best book of all time.
May 30, 2018
Not much story to go with the jokes. Oh well, they can't all be The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. I liked the afterward. I'm looking forward to his next book.
May 9, 2020
This is Christopher Moore's homage to Film Noir set in the 50s after WWII. All the zany characters we expect from a Moore Novel and here: we have the Drag King club and lesbians, the femme fatale, some crazy Asian, there is a black mamba snake who has a part in this story and of course there is the bartender and the detective. Also, there is the Moon-man and Area 51 is involved and Men in Black.
I think one of the most interesting things in the books was the last few pages where he talks about his research into all the wacky things and most of them he found in the history books in some way. The Drag club was famous.
It took me much longer to get into this story than it usually does, but I did enjoy the story. It became more funny. It's a different type of book for Chris than his usual. I felt like the first part was more serious and less funny and the book picked up steam as it went on.
There is plenty of offensive language from our past. He doesn't change it to fit todays politically correct language. The Chinese characters sound like 50s movies and all sorts of other things.
I think this is a fine novel and if you can give it time, it's a good funny romp.
I think one of the most interesting things in the books was the last few pages where he talks about his research into all the wacky things and most of them he found in the history books in some way. The Drag club was famous.
It took me much longer to get into this story than it usually does, but I did enjoy the story. It became more funny. It's a different type of book for Chris than his usual. I felt like the first part was more serious and less funny and the book picked up steam as it went on.
There is plenty of offensive language from our past. He doesn't change it to fit todays politically correct language. The Chinese characters sound like 50s movies and all sorts of other things.
I think this is a fine novel and if you can give it time, it's a good funny romp.
Read
August 5, 2019DNF 18%
I think I screwed myself with this one. Due to Mr. Moore's reputation, I may have built it up too much in my mind. I'm just not enjoying it.
I think I screwed myself with this one. Due to Mr. Moore's reputation, I may have built it up too much in my mind. I'm just not enjoying it.
May 10, 2018
This book is so funny. I read it within hours. It’s so ridiculous a lot of the times but in the good, entertaining kind of ridiculous (Mrs.Jones comment about her late husband’s manhood🤣). I have not read anything else by Christopher Moore and honestly knew very little about his writing going into the book, but I really liked this book. I actually wasn’t the one who picked this book to read, my little cousin showed me it at Barnes & Noble and I ended up putting it on hold on my library’s digital app. I am so glad I did.
My quick and simple: funny book with some of the most amusing characters!
My quick and simple: funny book with some of the most amusing characters!
May 8, 2018
Noir is a satire / humorous take of the more serious noir genre with a twist. In it, the reader is taken down a dark alley laughing all the way as our faithful protagonist Sammy ‘Two Toes’ Tiffin goes from bartender with puppy love to entrepreneur to crime fighting extraordinaire.
From sketchy business ideas involving snake urine, to dog pizza (pizza made for dogs, not dogs as an ingredient), author Christopher Moore light-heartily jumps to plot elements encompassing rich fat cats out for a good time while in the process kidnapping a few dames in distress, only to then leap towards an alien angle with a misunderstood moon-man.
All this action taking place around the omnipresent ‘Cheese’, a to-die-for blonde named Stilton who happens to be the object of Sammy’s eye.
My rating: 4/5 stars. I couldn’t wipe the goofy smile off my face while listening to this audiobook.
From sketchy business ideas involving snake urine, to dog pizza (pizza made for dogs, not dogs as an ingredient), author Christopher Moore light-heartily jumps to plot elements encompassing rich fat cats out for a good time while in the process kidnapping a few dames in distress, only to then leap towards an alien angle with a misunderstood moon-man.
All this action taking place around the omnipresent ‘Cheese’, a to-die-for blonde named Stilton who happens to be the object of Sammy’s eye.
My rating: 4/5 stars. I couldn’t wipe the goofy smile off my face while listening to this audiobook.
April 19, 2018
3.5 of 5 stars at The BiblioSanctum https://bibliosanctum.com/2018/04/19/...
Noir was my first experience with the writing of humorist Christopher Moore, and I was not disappointed. In fact, it’s been a few days since I finished reading the book, and every now and then I still catch myself chuckling at the memory of some of the wild and whacky things that happened in it. Although I’m unable to comment on the way this novel compares with the author’s other work (I’ve come across some reviews from longtime fans that mention that it feels different), l can nonetheless understand why many readers find his stories entertaining.
The book opens in San Francisco, 1947. Protagonist Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin is working as a bartender at Sal’s Saloon, when a beautiful blonde named Stilton (like “the Cheese”, which is henceforth how she will be known to Sammy) breezes in through the door and captures his heart. However, the romance will have to wait, because soon afterwards, Sammy’s boss puts him in contact with an Air Force general who desperately needs his help. Certain “goods and services” are required at an upcoming function being held at the Bohemian Club, and Sammy, with his street smarts and connections, is in the perfect position to make it all happen.
But then, the Cheese disappears, and Sammy grows worried. More troubles also begin mounting as some of his other harebrained schemes proceed to spiral out of control, resulting in poisonous vipers, dead bodies, and the arrival of black-suited government men bedecked in dark sunglasses. Subsequently, when Sammy sets out on his search for the Cheese, he inadvertently stumbles into a loony conspiracy involving a mysterious flying object spotted over Mount Rainer, topped off by an unexplained plane crash in the desert near a town called Roswell, New Mexico.
Part satire and part homage, this novel feels like a zany, breathless love letter to the noir genre. Its influence can be seen everything, from the cover to the dialogue, attitudes, and mannerisms of the characters. It’s a bit like being transported straight into a 1950s classic noir film, with the tone and style of the writing giving the story’s post-war San Francisco an authentic flavor. Moore also provides fascinating commentary on the inspiration for his setting, as well as some of his experiences and the research he did into the culture, history, and environment of the city’s vibrant Chinatown.
That being said, Noir also has the feel of a tongue-in-cheek satire, which apparently is something of a specialty for the author. Certain elements are done in an over-the-top way to emphasize or poke fun at some of the genre’s more distinctive features, including larger-than-life heroes and coquettish femme fatales. As a result, rather than dark and tense, the atmosphere has been replaced by an eccentric, madcap energy that pervades the whole book, so that you have whacky things like chapters written from the perspective of an all-knowing snake, space aliens being smuggled away in rumble seats in the dead of night, and sexy beautiful women with nicknames like “the Cheese”. Noir is not really “noir” as such, in that it doesn’t really fit the style or the tone of the genre, and yet, the overall mood is still very much there, featuring a strong undercurrent of conflict and despondency in spite of some of the sillier themes.
At the end of the day, I suppose what really matters is that I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it a lot. Humor being such a subjective beast, I wasn’t sure if my tastes would mesh well with Christopher Moore’s style, but it appears I no longer have to be concerned on that front. If it means getting more of the same laughs and cleverness I found in Noir, I’m definitely on board to read more of the author’s work.
Audiobook Comments: Johnny Heller has a voice well-suited to a book like this. The gruff raspiness of it might be jarring in any other story, but it turned out to be a good match for a lot of the characters in Noir, especially for Sammy, a slick and somewhat jaded protagonist with a lot of shady connections. More importantly, the humor also comes out in Heller’s performance, as he delivers the satire and lines of snappy dialogue with instinctual timing and flair.
Noir was my first experience with the writing of humorist Christopher Moore, and I was not disappointed. In fact, it’s been a few days since I finished reading the book, and every now and then I still catch myself chuckling at the memory of some of the wild and whacky things that happened in it. Although I’m unable to comment on the way this novel compares with the author’s other work (I’ve come across some reviews from longtime fans that mention that it feels different), l can nonetheless understand why many readers find his stories entertaining.
The book opens in San Francisco, 1947. Protagonist Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin is working as a bartender at Sal’s Saloon, when a beautiful blonde named Stilton (like “the Cheese”, which is henceforth how she will be known to Sammy) breezes in through the door and captures his heart. However, the romance will have to wait, because soon afterwards, Sammy’s boss puts him in contact with an Air Force general who desperately needs his help. Certain “goods and services” are required at an upcoming function being held at the Bohemian Club, and Sammy, with his street smarts and connections, is in the perfect position to make it all happen.
But then, the Cheese disappears, and Sammy grows worried. More troubles also begin mounting as some of his other harebrained schemes proceed to spiral out of control, resulting in poisonous vipers, dead bodies, and the arrival of black-suited government men bedecked in dark sunglasses. Subsequently, when Sammy sets out on his search for the Cheese, he inadvertently stumbles into a loony conspiracy involving a mysterious flying object spotted over Mount Rainer, topped off by an unexplained plane crash in the desert near a town called Roswell, New Mexico.
Part satire and part homage, this novel feels like a zany, breathless love letter to the noir genre. Its influence can be seen everything, from the cover to the dialogue, attitudes, and mannerisms of the characters. It’s a bit like being transported straight into a 1950s classic noir film, with the tone and style of the writing giving the story’s post-war San Francisco an authentic flavor. Moore also provides fascinating commentary on the inspiration for his setting, as well as some of his experiences and the research he did into the culture, history, and environment of the city’s vibrant Chinatown.
That being said, Noir also has the feel of a tongue-in-cheek satire, which apparently is something of a specialty for the author. Certain elements are done in an over-the-top way to emphasize or poke fun at some of the genre’s more distinctive features, including larger-than-life heroes and coquettish femme fatales. As a result, rather than dark and tense, the atmosphere has been replaced by an eccentric, madcap energy that pervades the whole book, so that you have whacky things like chapters written from the perspective of an all-knowing snake, space aliens being smuggled away in rumble seats in the dead of night, and sexy beautiful women with nicknames like “the Cheese”. Noir is not really “noir” as such, in that it doesn’t really fit the style or the tone of the genre, and yet, the overall mood is still very much there, featuring a strong undercurrent of conflict and despondency in spite of some of the sillier themes.
At the end of the day, I suppose what really matters is that I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it a lot. Humor being such a subjective beast, I wasn’t sure if my tastes would mesh well with Christopher Moore’s style, but it appears I no longer have to be concerned on that front. If it means getting more of the same laughs and cleverness I found in Noir, I’m definitely on board to read more of the author’s work.
Audiobook Comments: Johnny Heller has a voice well-suited to a book like this. The gruff raspiness of it might be jarring in any other story, but it turned out to be a good match for a lot of the characters in Noir, especially for Sammy, a slick and somewhat jaded protagonist with a lot of shady connections. More importantly, the humor also comes out in Heller’s performance, as he delivers the satire and lines of snappy dialogue with instinctual timing and flair.
June 7, 2018
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Noir is a book that proves the old adage . . . .
The dame is “Cheese” – the fella hung up on her is Sammy Two Toes. The story takes place everywhere from a dive bar, to a national forest to Roswell, New Mexico.
I was real worried that I’d have to look like this . . . . .
Due to my “meh” reaction upon finishing, but it appears most of my friends pretty much felt the same as me. The one thing I can say is Christopher Moore most definitely knows how to stick to a bit. Go read Kemper’s review if you want actual insight. Not only does he know how to words way better than I do, but I could also totally picture this story becoming Archer Season 24 or some such . . . .
Noir is a book that proves the old adage . . . .
The dame is “Cheese” – the fella hung up on her is Sammy Two Toes. The story takes place everywhere from a dive bar, to a national forest to Roswell, New Mexico.
I was real worried that I’d have to look like this . . . . .
Due to my “meh” reaction upon finishing, but it appears most of my friends pretty much felt the same as me. The one thing I can say is Christopher Moore most definitely knows how to stick to a bit. Go read Kemper’s review if you want actual insight. Not only does he know how to words way better than I do, but I could also totally picture this story becoming Archer Season 24 or some such . . . .
January 21, 2020
It’s a tough world, full of rough goons and bombshell dames. It’s all fun and games and then you find yourself in a book by Christopher Moore.
I think I’ve read all of his books and I’ve been looking forward to exploring this 2018 publication. Eschewing most of his paranormal subjects, we find The Writer Guy paying a sideways homage to the noir genre while also poking fun in a colorful satire set in 1947 San Francisco. Moore is a talented writer and fills his narrative with witty metaphors and imaginative similes.
Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin is a bartender with a past as the world rebuilds following WWII. When a mysterious Air Force General from Roswell New Mexico swings by with some unusual friends we are on the way towards a noir mystery that even the Dude would have some opinions on. We are also introduced to a gorgeous girlfriend named after a cheese and an unlikely narrator along the way.
This begins as a smooth and funny parody reminiscent of Steve Martin’s 1982 film Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid and evolves into another wild ride from Moore with aliens and the supernatural. Truth be told I was enjoying the more straight man comedy, but I like Moore and his odd take on things and so ultimately liked the book, though it was sometimes hard to follow.
A good read.
I think I’ve read all of his books and I’ve been looking forward to exploring this 2018 publication. Eschewing most of his paranormal subjects, we find The Writer Guy paying a sideways homage to the noir genre while also poking fun in a colorful satire set in 1947 San Francisco. Moore is a talented writer and fills his narrative with witty metaphors and imaginative similes.
Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin is a bartender with a past as the world rebuilds following WWII. When a mysterious Air Force General from Roswell New Mexico swings by with some unusual friends we are on the way towards a noir mystery that even the Dude would have some opinions on. We are also introduced to a gorgeous girlfriend named after a cheese and an unlikely narrator along the way.
This begins as a smooth and funny parody reminiscent of Steve Martin’s 1982 film Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid and evolves into another wild ride from Moore with aliens and the supernatural. Truth be told I was enjoying the more straight man comedy, but I like Moore and his odd take on things and so ultimately liked the book, though it was sometimes hard to follow.
A good read.
August 18, 2018
4.5 stars.
This was a funny, entertaining joyride filled with drama, romance, action, men in black, a loud mouth little kid, a talking snake and even an alien ! Christopher Moore has penned a fabulous spoof of a tale set in 1947 San Francisco, that meshes the classic 1940's noir genre with his own inimitable style. He employs the first person narrator to tell this story, that begins with a flashback and works its way back to the present. The novel is written in a lazy, casual narrative style; the language seems to meander along gracefully, as the tale unfolds, according to the whims and fancies of the primary narrator Sammy. Moore brings the reader into the 1940's film noir world with his style of writing. One can visualize everything in black and white and almost hear the background music playing when the prologue starts:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_IIm...
Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin is a bartender with a limp, but it doesn't interfere with his pursuit of the ladies. He's also a bit of a hustler:
Sammy's life is rolling along as normally as it usually does until the mysterious night when she walked into the bar:
She is Stilton, but Sammy prefers to call her "The Cheese" and it's insta-love from the time their eyes meet in the smoky, dark atmosphere of Sal's Saloon. Stilton is the author's homage to the stereotypical sexy, mysterious dame that one finds in every good noir film. She's got a bit of a tragic past but she's just so irresistible that Sammy will do just about anything to make her happy. Sammy's best friend is a Chinese guy called Eddie "Moo Shoes" Shu:
Eddie's a great friend and a very funny guy who helps Sammy in all of his crazy hustles, schemes and mini adventures. Eddie works as a bouncer in a Chinatown nightclub and he's in love with an exotic dancer called Lois Fong:
The story's plot starts when Sammy comes up with a dumbass new hustle to make easy money. Sammy gets this idea after he visits a little backstreet diner in Chinatown and sees a group of "scrotum guys" ( men who are so old and wrinkled that their skin looks like the skin found on a man's scrotum ) eating noodles soaked in snake urine.
Yep, you're shocked but you read it correctly ! Lol. These old scrotum guys believe that the ingestion of snake piss will give them erections of steel. Sammy surmises that if he buys a deadly black mamba snake from a guy he knows then he and Eddie will be able to sell the snake piss to the scrotum guys and make a fortune ( urine from a deadly snake sells at $20. a spoonful ). So Sammy borrows money from Eddie and buys a black mamba snake. The author also introduces another hilarious element into the story when he uses the black mamba snake as an omniscient first person narrator, for scenes with characters that are outside of Sammy's ( the primary narrator ) purview. It might sound complex but it's not; it's written in a simple and humorous manner. In fact, the first time that the author changes the narrative by switching from Sammy to this omniscient 1st person voice, I thought he was trying to copy from the denizens of film and theatre who often use the device termed as "breaking the fourth wall". The "breaking of the 4th wall" technique is often used in theatre when a character comes out of his role and speaks directly to the audience. I thought that the author was doing this, but it eventually turned out that he wasn't. This happened in chapter 3:
I could let Sammy tell you this part of the tale, but let’s face it, when it comes to the Cheese, Sammy’s got all the perspective of a bucketful of dark. I been telling the parts Sammy doesn’t. Don’t worry about who I am, I know things. My people know things.
Christopher Moore. Noir: A Novel (Kindle Locations 796-798). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
It's way down in chapter 20 that this other narrator is revealed to be Petey, the black Mamba snake that Sammy bought:
The name of the snake is Petey. No need to make a big deal about it. And I am the one who has been telling you this tale when Sammy falls down on the job or doesn’t know what’s what. See, like I said, I know things. My people know things, but I had to hold out until now to clue you in on my part, because really, what kind of credibility is a story going to have that starts with a talking snake? Am I right? Of course I am. I’m always right. It’s a curse.
Christopher Moore. Noir: A Novel (Kindle Locations 4079-4082). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
This is Petey:
Sammy gets himself in a lot trouble because his employer Sal Gabelli brings him into a pimping scheme. Sal wants to make money by finding a group of wholesome "Bettys" ( sweet, pretty "farm girls" who don't look like skanks even though they may be actual prostitutes ) for a party that General Remy is holding to impress a bunch of rich guys who belong to an elite club called "The Bohemians". General Remy wants these captains of industry and politics to make him a new member so he's pulling out all stops to impress them. The General has also broken protocol by showing a captive alien ( called a "Moonman" ) to the Bohemians. The Moonman was one of the aliens whose spaceship had crashed at Roswell. Stilton and her friend Myrtle are asked to attend the party but Sammy doesn't find out until she's held captive and in danger. Everybody's hustling to make easy money in this story and that's the primary cause of all the entertaining mini disasters that happen as the novel unfolds. But the Bohemians, led by an uppity jerk called Alton Stoddard III are not to be trifled with. These are the Bohemians:
The General gets himself killed, Stilton is held captive, Sammy is missing her and worried like a madman and to top it all off, Petey the snake kills Sal Gabelli ! This madcap group of characters explode into chaos as everybody starts scrambling for cover, especially when the notorious "Men In Black" come around investigating...
Sammy manages to rescue his lover but finds himself saddled with a new little friend, the alien Moonman:
Sammy and Stilton become best friends with the little Moonman and the latter saves their lives when the evil "Men In Black" try to kill them. I won't tell you further details about the story because it's meant to be read and relished without detailed spoilers. There's even a funny minor storyline about Sal Gabelli making pizzas for dogs ! I will say, though, that I loved it ! I loved the author's style of writing. Moore's dry sense of humour appealed to the part of me that loves a good spoof that's filled with satire, farce and hilarious send ups to the great film noir tradition. Moore's descriptive skills are awesome. He's got a spectacular way with words, especially when it comes to creative and original use of simile and metaphor:
Sal’s is the kind of joint where when you open the door in the afternoon everyone looks up like rats caught in a spotlight eating the brains of a friend dead in a trap.
Christopher Moore. Noir: A Novel (Kindle Locations 682-683). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
Another funny example of Moore's descriptive talent is:
(Sal always said “Madame Mabel” with her title, like she was a doctor or senator or had received an advanced degree in Salami Concealment from a respected College of Floozie Management.)
Christopher Moore. Noir: A Novel (Kindle Locations 765-767). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
Madame Mabel is the owner of a brothel. Moore also added a funny minor character, called "The Kid", who uses the most deliberately ludicrous malapropisms in a poker faced and boldly rude manner. The Kid turned out to be irritating at first, but he ended up becoming another favourite character, because he's also learned to hustle in order to survive because his mom often locks him out of the apartment while she polishes the penises of his numerous "uncles". This is the Kid:
There's also another minor character called Pookie O'Hara. Pookie's an obese, corrupt detective, who's described as follows:
Over my shoulder I saw Pookie O’Hara filling the doorway, 260 pounds of crooked cop in a rumpled suit that looked like it had had enough food wiped on it that if you boiled it for soup a poor family could eat for a week on it.
Christopher Moore. Noir: A Novel (Kindle Locations 779-780). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
Pookie ends up getting inadvertently embroiled in Sammy's troubles and finds himself held captive by Eddie's Uncle Mao ( aka Uncle Ho the Cat Fucker ). Pookie gets killed by the Men In Black but it's no great loss since he's an awful, evil and racist character. I also ought to mention Sammy's other good friend: a huge, friendly black man called Thelonius Jones ( aka Lone Jones ). Lone plays a minor role but his part is critical to the unfolding events of the plot since he helps Sammy and Eddie when they're at their wits end and really need assistance. This is Lone Jones:
This review doesn't even cover half of all the amazing and comically farcical adventures that Sammy and Eddie get up to in this novel. There are even big butch lesbians dressed in drag who assist Sammy along the way. In this story there's a little bit of something for everybody. At the end of the story, Sammy and Eddie end up with their girls, the Men In Black are vaporized by the Moonman, Alton Stoddard III gets a huge middle finger F off in retribution for his sins, the Moonman is given a car which he uses to drive off into the desert sunset and Petey the snake escapes to enjoy himself in the happy old yonder where all omniscient snakes go when it's time to live the good life !
This was a funny, entertaining joyride filled with drama, romance, action, men in black, a loud mouth little kid, a talking snake and even an alien ! Christopher Moore has penned a fabulous spoof of a tale set in 1947 San Francisco, that meshes the classic 1940's noir genre with his own inimitable style. He employs the first person narrator to tell this story, that begins with a flashback and works its way back to the present. The novel is written in a lazy, casual narrative style; the language seems to meander along gracefully, as the tale unfolds, according to the whims and fancies of the primary narrator Sammy. Moore brings the reader into the 1940's film noir world with his style of writing. One can visualize everything in black and white and almost hear the background music playing when the prologue starts:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_IIm...
Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin is a bartender with a limp, but it doesn't interfere with his pursuit of the ladies. He's also a bit of a hustler:
Sammy's life is rolling along as normally as it usually does until the mysterious night when she walked into the bar:
She is Stilton, but Sammy prefers to call her "The Cheese" and it's insta-love from the time their eyes meet in the smoky, dark atmosphere of Sal's Saloon. Stilton is the author's homage to the stereotypical sexy, mysterious dame that one finds in every good noir film. She's got a bit of a tragic past but she's just so irresistible that Sammy will do just about anything to make her happy. Sammy's best friend is a Chinese guy called Eddie "Moo Shoes" Shu:
Eddie's a great friend and a very funny guy who helps Sammy in all of his crazy hustles, schemes and mini adventures. Eddie works as a bouncer in a Chinatown nightclub and he's in love with an exotic dancer called Lois Fong:
The story's plot starts when Sammy comes up with a dumbass new hustle to make easy money. Sammy gets this idea after he visits a little backstreet diner in Chinatown and sees a group of "scrotum guys" ( men who are so old and wrinkled that their skin looks like the skin found on a man's scrotum ) eating noodles soaked in snake urine.
Yep, you're shocked but you read it correctly ! Lol. These old scrotum guys believe that the ingestion of snake piss will give them erections of steel. Sammy surmises that if he buys a deadly black mamba snake from a guy he knows then he and Eddie will be able to sell the snake piss to the scrotum guys and make a fortune ( urine from a deadly snake sells at $20. a spoonful ). So Sammy borrows money from Eddie and buys a black mamba snake. The author also introduces another hilarious element into the story when he uses the black mamba snake as an omniscient first person narrator, for scenes with characters that are outside of Sammy's ( the primary narrator ) purview. It might sound complex but it's not; it's written in a simple and humorous manner. In fact, the first time that the author changes the narrative by switching from Sammy to this omniscient 1st person voice, I thought he was trying to copy from the denizens of film and theatre who often use the device termed as "breaking the fourth wall". The "breaking of the 4th wall" technique is often used in theatre when a character comes out of his role and speaks directly to the audience. I thought that the author was doing this, but it eventually turned out that he wasn't. This happened in chapter 3:
I could let Sammy tell you this part of the tale, but let’s face it, when it comes to the Cheese, Sammy’s got all the perspective of a bucketful of dark. I been telling the parts Sammy doesn’t. Don’t worry about who I am, I know things. My people know things.
Christopher Moore. Noir: A Novel (Kindle Locations 796-798). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
It's way down in chapter 20 that this other narrator is revealed to be Petey, the black Mamba snake that Sammy bought:
The name of the snake is Petey. No need to make a big deal about it. And I am the one who has been telling you this tale when Sammy falls down on the job or doesn’t know what’s what. See, like I said, I know things. My people know things, but I had to hold out until now to clue you in on my part, because really, what kind of credibility is a story going to have that starts with a talking snake? Am I right? Of course I am. I’m always right. It’s a curse.
Christopher Moore. Noir: A Novel (Kindle Locations 4079-4082). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
This is Petey:
Sammy gets himself in a lot trouble because his employer Sal Gabelli brings him into a pimping scheme. Sal wants to make money by finding a group of wholesome "Bettys" ( sweet, pretty "farm girls" who don't look like skanks even though they may be actual prostitutes ) for a party that General Remy is holding to impress a bunch of rich guys who belong to an elite club called "The Bohemians". General Remy wants these captains of industry and politics to make him a new member so he's pulling out all stops to impress them. The General has also broken protocol by showing a captive alien ( called a "Moonman" ) to the Bohemians. The Moonman was one of the aliens whose spaceship had crashed at Roswell. Stilton and her friend Myrtle are asked to attend the party but Sammy doesn't find out until she's held captive and in danger. Everybody's hustling to make easy money in this story and that's the primary cause of all the entertaining mini disasters that happen as the novel unfolds. But the Bohemians, led by an uppity jerk called Alton Stoddard III are not to be trifled with. These are the Bohemians:
The General gets himself killed, Stilton is held captive, Sammy is missing her and worried like a madman and to top it all off, Petey the snake kills Sal Gabelli ! This madcap group of characters explode into chaos as everybody starts scrambling for cover, especially when the notorious "Men In Black" come around investigating...
Sammy manages to rescue his lover but finds himself saddled with a new little friend, the alien Moonman:
Sammy and Stilton become best friends with the little Moonman and the latter saves their lives when the evil "Men In Black" try to kill them. I won't tell you further details about the story because it's meant to be read and relished without detailed spoilers. There's even a funny minor storyline about Sal Gabelli making pizzas for dogs ! I will say, though, that I loved it ! I loved the author's style of writing. Moore's dry sense of humour appealed to the part of me that loves a good spoof that's filled with satire, farce and hilarious send ups to the great film noir tradition. Moore's descriptive skills are awesome. He's got a spectacular way with words, especially when it comes to creative and original use of simile and metaphor:
Sal’s is the kind of joint where when you open the door in the afternoon everyone looks up like rats caught in a spotlight eating the brains of a friend dead in a trap.
Christopher Moore. Noir: A Novel (Kindle Locations 682-683). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
Another funny example of Moore's descriptive talent is:
(Sal always said “Madame Mabel” with her title, like she was a doctor or senator or had received an advanced degree in Salami Concealment from a respected College of Floozie Management.)
Christopher Moore. Noir: A Novel (Kindle Locations 765-767). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
Madame Mabel is the owner of a brothel. Moore also added a funny minor character, called "The Kid", who uses the most deliberately ludicrous malapropisms in a poker faced and boldly rude manner. The Kid turned out to be irritating at first, but he ended up becoming another favourite character, because he's also learned to hustle in order to survive because his mom often locks him out of the apartment while she polishes the penises of his numerous "uncles". This is the Kid:
There's also another minor character called Pookie O'Hara. Pookie's an obese, corrupt detective, who's described as follows:
Over my shoulder I saw Pookie O’Hara filling the doorway, 260 pounds of crooked cop in a rumpled suit that looked like it had had enough food wiped on it that if you boiled it for soup a poor family could eat for a week on it.
Christopher Moore. Noir: A Novel (Kindle Locations 779-780). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
Pookie ends up getting inadvertently embroiled in Sammy's troubles and finds himself held captive by Eddie's Uncle Mao ( aka Uncle Ho the Cat Fucker ). Pookie gets killed by the Men In Black but it's no great loss since he's an awful, evil and racist character. I also ought to mention Sammy's other good friend: a huge, friendly black man called Thelonius Jones ( aka Lone Jones ). Lone plays a minor role but his part is critical to the unfolding events of the plot since he helps Sammy and Eddie when they're at their wits end and really need assistance. This is Lone Jones:
This review doesn't even cover half of all the amazing and comically farcical adventures that Sammy and Eddie get up to in this novel. There are even big butch lesbians dressed in drag who assist Sammy along the way. In this story there's a little bit of something for everybody. At the end of the story, Sammy and Eddie end up with their girls, the Men In Black are vaporized by the Moonman, Alton Stoddard III gets a huge middle finger F off in retribution for his sins, the Moonman is given a car which he uses to drive off into the desert sunset and Petey the snake escapes to enjoy himself in the happy old yonder where all omniscient snakes go when it's time to live the good life !
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 21, 2018
Great title. Impressive cover harkening back to 1940's-era posters. Moore offers us a tongue-in-cheek parody of a 1940's noir story taking place in San Francisco's North Beach. This ersatz comedy certainly had its moments of great prose, but somewhere among the cane-wielding bartenders, cheese-themed hash-slinging waitresses, man-killing deadly Mambas, tender love story, and circus-like atmosphere, it's uneven meandering plot lines meandered down one dark alley too many for me.
July 26, 2022
There are times in a guy’s life when he finds himself floating facedown in a sea of troubles, and as hope bubbles away, he thinks, How the hell did I get here?
Christopher Moore knows his ‘noir’ aesthetics and the standard type of story he would like to tell: a regular guy gets drawn, mostly against his will, in a high stake conspiracy involving government secrets, powerful businessmen, corruption, drugs, car chases, guns, missing dames, etc. etc. He admits in the afterword that he wanted to write a dark, intense and mean story, in the vein of Jim Thomson or David Goodis. I have read his novels for quite some time by now, so I was not surprised that the end result is a screwball comedy with film noir atmosphere, a sort of Damon Runyon meets Bugs Bunny, in the author’s own words. Mr. Moore also comes up with the label ‘Perky Noir’ for the end product.
Throw in some elements from ‘War of the Worlds’, ‘Men in Black’, ‘E.T.’ and ‘The Roswell Incident’ and you start to wonder what sort of Mad Universe you have drifted into.
I mean, I didn’t know then what the two mugs in black suits knew, which was that across the vastness of space, we were being studied by intellects far superior to man’s, by beings that regarded us with envious eyes and, slowly and surely, were drawing their plans to come to our world and motorboat the bazooms of our dames.
Yeah, a dame, that’s how it starts ...
Sammy ‘Two Toes’ Tiffin is a barman with a bum foot, working in a sleazy bar for a mean boss somewhere in San Francisco in the years immediately after World War Two. We will get to know Sammy’s backstory soon enough, but the novel starts with the moment his troubles begin. A buxom dame in a skin-tight dress walks into Sammy’s bar and starts a conversation.
One things leads to another and a couple of days later the dame, known from now on as Toots ‘the Cheese’, is missing after going to an exclusive party for business leaders up in the California woods. Sammy wants her back in his life, but he also has to deal with a dead boss, a missing snake, an acute lack of money, a kidnapped cop, a cat molesting Chinese uncle and a couple of shady guys in black suits and black shades that snoop around.
I’ve simplified the plot and left out the more exotic elements and the more colourful characters for readers to enjoy on their own. For myself, I had a grand time with the spoof of classic crime novels from the pulp era, delivered with colourful, if oddball, similes.
... the fog of the bay was streaming between the buildings like a scarf through a stripper’s legs, leaving everything damp and smelling of sailors’ broken dreams.
The secret ingredient that anchors the story and gives it a solid backbone is also revealed in the afterword: the author knows his city and his history well, supported by extensive research into the life in Chinatown and neighbouring streets cca. 1947, the work in the navy yards during the war and the night life after the work was done. The focus on the struggles of minorities, women and returning soldiers to fit back into society balances the wildest flight of fancy of the crazy plot.
One proof that the author enjoyed writing this is the fact that he penned a sequel, and I really look forward to meeting again Sammy and the Cheese, Uncle Ho and the gentle giant Lone Jones, Eddie Moo Shoes and his gal Lois Fong, Milo the Cab driver and the kid with the attitude, Petey the Snake and Jimmy Vasco, the lesbian club owner. Hopefully, even the moonman might make a comeback.
Final verdict: Fine as frog fur.
Christopher Moore knows his ‘noir’ aesthetics and the standard type of story he would like to tell: a regular guy gets drawn, mostly against his will, in a high stake conspiracy involving government secrets, powerful businessmen, corruption, drugs, car chases, guns, missing dames, etc. etc. He admits in the afterword that he wanted to write a dark, intense and mean story, in the vein of Jim Thomson or David Goodis. I have read his novels for quite some time by now, so I was not surprised that the end result is a screwball comedy with film noir atmosphere, a sort of Damon Runyon meets Bugs Bunny, in the author’s own words. Mr. Moore also comes up with the label ‘Perky Noir’ for the end product.
Throw in some elements from ‘War of the Worlds’, ‘Men in Black’, ‘E.T.’ and ‘The Roswell Incident’ and you start to wonder what sort of Mad Universe you have drifted into.
I mean, I didn’t know then what the two mugs in black suits knew, which was that across the vastness of space, we were being studied by intellects far superior to man’s, by beings that regarded us with envious eyes and, slowly and surely, were drawing their plans to come to our world and motorboat the bazooms of our dames.
Yeah, a dame, that’s how it starts ...
Sammy ‘Two Toes’ Tiffin is a barman with a bum foot, working in a sleazy bar for a mean boss somewhere in San Francisco in the years immediately after World War Two. We will get to know Sammy’s backstory soon enough, but the novel starts with the moment his troubles begin. A buxom dame in a skin-tight dress walks into Sammy’s bar and starts a conversation.
One things leads to another and a couple of days later the dame, known from now on as Toots ‘the Cheese’, is missing after going to an exclusive party for business leaders up in the California woods. Sammy wants her back in his life, but he also has to deal with a dead boss, a missing snake, an acute lack of money, a kidnapped cop, a cat molesting Chinese uncle and a couple of shady guys in black suits and black shades that snoop around.
I’ve simplified the plot and left out the more exotic elements and the more colourful characters for readers to enjoy on their own. For myself, I had a grand time with the spoof of classic crime novels from the pulp era, delivered with colourful, if oddball, similes.
... the fog of the bay was streaming between the buildings like a scarf through a stripper’s legs, leaving everything damp and smelling of sailors’ broken dreams.
The secret ingredient that anchors the story and gives it a solid backbone is also revealed in the afterword: the author knows his city and his history well, supported by extensive research into the life in Chinatown and neighbouring streets cca. 1947, the work in the navy yards during the war and the night life after the work was done. The focus on the struggles of minorities, women and returning soldiers to fit back into society balances the wildest flight of fancy of the crazy plot.
One proof that the author enjoyed writing this is the fact that he penned a sequel, and I really look forward to meeting again Sammy and the Cheese, Uncle Ho and the gentle giant Lone Jones, Eddie Moo Shoes and his gal Lois Fong, Milo the Cab driver and the kid with the attitude, Petey the Snake and Jimmy Vasco, the lesbian club owner. Hopefully, even the moonman might make a comeback.
Final verdict: Fine as frog fur.
January 9, 2018
Here's the Rorschach test whether you will like this book. Chris Moore begins one of the chapters of Noir thusly: "The fog lay spread across the city like a drowned whore -- damp, cold, smelling of salt and diesel -- a sea-sodden streetwalker who'd just bonked a tugboat..." If you are offended by the quote, then never mind reading the book. On the other hand, if you see the playful tweaking of the noir genre then by all means continue on.
With its fog and alley ways, San Francisco is the perfect place for a noir novel, even if this one has more aspects of "playful noir" than the real thing that Dashiell Hammett might write. The Maltese Falcon, after all, was also set in San Francisco. Moore takes us to San Francisco in 1947, just a few years after the Maltese Falcon movie, and the same year It's A Wonderful Life came out.
You get all of the standard noir features -- semi-innocent guys caught up in weird plots, dames, gats, murders, sketchy bars, waterfronts, all presented faithfully to the time and place, not reinterpreted for the political sensibilities of 2018.. You also get the Chris Moore touches -- oddball customs, sentient animals, strange beings. Sometimes they mix well. Sometimes they feel sort of thrown willy-nilly into the mix.
It's still a fun trip, so come on in, the fog is fine.
With its fog and alley ways, San Francisco is the perfect place for a noir novel, even if this one has more aspects of "playful noir" than the real thing that Dashiell Hammett might write. The Maltese Falcon, after all, was also set in San Francisco. Moore takes us to San Francisco in 1947, just a few years after the Maltese Falcon movie, and the same year It's A Wonderful Life came out.
You get all of the standard noir features -- semi-innocent guys caught up in weird plots, dames, gats, murders, sketchy bars, waterfronts, all presented faithfully to the time and place, not reinterpreted for the political sensibilities of 2018.. You also get the Chris Moore touches -- oddball customs, sentient animals, strange beings. Sometimes they mix well. Sometimes they feel sort of thrown willy-nilly into the mix.
It's still a fun trip, so come on in, the fog is fine.
June 16, 2018
This is different from what he normally writes about by delving into post-WWII San Francisco. Different times doesn't mean better times. 5 of 10 stars
October 25, 2021
This was my first Christopher Moore and I know it was a weird book to start with, but often I read what's available to me for free (thanks Amazon Prime). It took a while for the writing style to grow on me and once it did I found it amusing. This book tries hard to make the reader laugh, but it only got me once to burst out loud. If you can forgive the over-the-top silliness of the plot, you can have a decent time with it. I liked it enough to check out more works by the author.
March 22, 2020
I don't think this is too spoilery, but maybe proceed with caution
I think this is my second Christopher Moore book. I have vague recollections of being amused by a book called Fluke, quite some time ago, but I don't remember anything else about it. Whales. There were whales. In theory, this second read promises to be right up my alley – humorous and noiry.
It is the story of Sammy “Two-Toes” Tilton, a bartender in 1947. A combination of a knockout dame (“The Cheese”) and his own ideas for money making (trying to procure a venomous snake whose whiz has performance-inhancing appeal for the lads in Chinatown) land him in hot water. This takes a turn for the extra absurd with the inclusion of events from Roswell, men in black and an actual little-gray-man who figures enough in the storyline to obtain a costume, a nickname, a weapon and some driving lessons.
The whole thing was a study in contrasts. Moore's style is adoring but irreverent. It stands firm with the social constructs of the time but is quietly apologetic about it. It is often spot-on in Noir feel, but then just as easily feels like it is trying a mite too hard. His crudeness is simplistic and hilarious, but its extremity is anachronistic to the genre.
Noir was good-natured fun. I quite liked it, but it didn't entirely blow my skirt up. I suspect, like Fluke, I will remember this as amusing but lose most of the details. It is likely I would pick up the author again on the cheap, but less likely I would actively hunt him down.
I think this is my second Christopher Moore book. I have vague recollections of being amused by a book called Fluke, quite some time ago, but I don't remember anything else about it. Whales. There were whales. In theory, this second read promises to be right up my alley – humorous and noiry.
It is the story of Sammy “Two-Toes” Tilton, a bartender in 1947. A combination of a knockout dame (“The Cheese”) and his own ideas for money making (trying to procure a venomous snake whose whiz has performance-inhancing appeal for the lads in Chinatown) land him in hot water. This takes a turn for the extra absurd with the inclusion of events from Roswell, men in black and an actual little-gray-man who figures enough in the storyline to obtain a costume, a nickname, a weapon and some driving lessons.
The whole thing was a study in contrasts. Moore's style is adoring but irreverent. It stands firm with the social constructs of the time but is quietly apologetic about it. It is often spot-on in Noir feel, but then just as easily feels like it is trying a mite too hard. His crudeness is simplistic and hilarious, but its extremity is anachronistic to the genre.
Noir was good-natured fun. I quite liked it, but it didn't entirely blow my skirt up. I suspect, like Fluke, I will remember this as amusing but lose most of the details. It is likely I would pick up the author again on the cheap, but less likely I would actively hunt him down.
February 27, 2018
"Sammy brought his *** spy friend, those guys are tricky- they have a way to hit you that makes your eye-balls explode."
Christoper Moore is like a fine wine, he gets better as time goes on. He’s one of those authors that never disappoints and this book is now in my top three favorites of his.
At first, you aren’t sure if this is an actual Moore novel until you get to those off the wall jokes. They are edgy, wacky, and absolutely hilarious. It’s a tad bit different than what Moore fans are used to but it still keeps you entertained from cover to cover.
I'm glad to see that Moore can still try to shock us in the most pleasant ways. He's definitely one of those authors that can get you out of any funk.
Old and new fans of Moore will be jumping for joy and scream in terror as the snake makes his grand appearance. Just remember this book has bite ;)
Christoper Moore is like a fine wine, he gets better as time goes on. He’s one of those authors that never disappoints and this book is now in my top three favorites of his.
At first, you aren’t sure if this is an actual Moore novel until you get to those off the wall jokes. They are edgy, wacky, and absolutely hilarious. It’s a tad bit different than what Moore fans are used to but it still keeps you entertained from cover to cover.
I'm glad to see that Moore can still try to shock us in the most pleasant ways. He's definitely one of those authors that can get you out of any funk.
Old and new fans of Moore will be jumping for joy and scream in terror as the snake makes his grand appearance. Just remember this book has bite ;)
June 2, 2018
"The streetlights floated above in their vaporous auras like lost spirits, never reaching the pavement."
The scene is set. I like Noir, and this feels true to the genre except with a lot more laughing. The post WWII setting in San Francisco is vibrant and the edgy jokes run the gauntlet. There's still Moore's crude and vulgar humor, but instead of "naturals" like Pocket from the Fool series or Toulouse Lautrec from Sacre Bleu we have a ragamuffin whose insults that are just misses which make them even funnier.
Again, for those not familiar with Moore's writing, it is not politically correct. In fact, it makes art out of our prejudices by mocking them relentlessly. There is nothing sacred: race, religion, sexuality, and gender are all fair game in the tussle of the story. But under it all, it's done to highlight points and slap the reader upside the head, which is probably due.
"How's a girl suppose to get by now. I know a hundred girls who can run a bead with an arc welder as good as any guy, but what are they doing since the war? Typing memos or answering phones, if they're lucky--folding shirts and changing diapers if they ain't."
There's fornication, drinking, smoking, and everyone that can be insulted is. Still funny.
"I am the Harriet Tubman of your breasts."
She rolled back over, her people now free of their bonds. "Well, now let me show you the underground railroad." And she pushed him until he was backing partway onto the floor, pushing the coffee table back as he went. He resurfaced under her nearly removed dress.
"Hey, this doesn't look like Churchill at all. More like Rasputin."
"That's not the birthmark. To the left."
A good time was had including entertainment provided by Roswell and some G men. Overall, this felt slower than the other Moore books I've read, but gotta say that the last 20% was fantastic--Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Overall, not as rollicking as his Shakespearean parodies or his homage to Impressionist artists. Then again, it could be that I just prefer the twist in both of those in relation to time period and content addressed in Noir.
<<>>==<<>> REVIEW #2500! <<>>==<<>>
The scene is set. I like Noir, and this feels true to the genre except with a lot more laughing. The post WWII setting in San Francisco is vibrant and the edgy jokes run the gauntlet. There's still Moore's crude and vulgar humor, but instead of "naturals" like Pocket from the Fool series or Toulouse Lautrec from Sacre Bleu we have a ragamuffin whose insults that are just misses which make them even funnier.
Again, for those not familiar with Moore's writing, it is not politically correct. In fact, it makes art out of our prejudices by mocking them relentlessly. There is nothing sacred: race, religion, sexuality, and gender are all fair game in the tussle of the story. But under it all, it's done to highlight points and slap the reader upside the head, which is probably due.
"How's a girl suppose to get by now. I know a hundred girls who can run a bead with an arc welder as good as any guy, but what are they doing since the war? Typing memos or answering phones, if they're lucky--folding shirts and changing diapers if they ain't."
There's fornication, drinking, smoking, and everyone that can be insulted is. Still funny.
"I am the Harriet Tubman of your breasts."
She rolled back over, her people now free of their bonds. "Well, now let me show you the underground railroad." And she pushed him until he was backing partway onto the floor, pushing the coffee table back as he went. He resurfaced under her nearly removed dress.
"Hey, this doesn't look like Churchill at all. More like Rasputin."
"That's not the birthmark. To the left."
A good time was had including entertainment provided by Roswell and some G men. Overall, this felt slower than the other Moore books I've read, but gotta say that the last 20% was fantastic--Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Overall, not as rollicking as his Shakespearean parodies or his homage to Impressionist artists. Then again, it could be that I just prefer the twist in both of those in relation to time period and content addressed in Noir.
<<>>==<<>> REVIEW #2500! <<>>==<<>>
May 18, 2021
"Fu in quel momento che l'uomoluna sbucò dalla porta e disintegrò i due succhiacazzi."
Voto: ☆☆☆½
Romanzo divertente e piacevole da leggere che mescola con ironia dissacrante tutti gli elementi tipici del genere noir ,un tizio qualunque ma con un passato burrascoso si ritrova in una situazione pericolosa a causa di una bionda mozzafiato, poliziotti corrotti, ecc., ed una ricostruzione storica accurata della San Francisco del 1947 a base di bassifondi, locali di malaffare, diners, night clubs, Chinatown e Dark Town.
Personaggi simpatici e ben sviluppati, la storia mi ha fatto ridere parecchio in alcune parti sboccate e non: a pag. 218 la proprietaria di un locale per lesbiche sfodera un monologo scurrile molto simile a quello di Jay quando incontra Dio alla fine di Dogma (1999) tanto per intenderci, ed i battibecchi amichevoli tra Sammy Due Dita e l'amico cinese Eddie Moo Shoes mi hanno ricordato parecchio quelli tra Jack Burton e Wang Chi in Grosso Guaio a Chinatown (1986).
Purtroppo in seguito all'introduzione della parte sci-fi con tanto di Roswell, Men in Black ed alieni dal grilletto nuclearizzante facile, il racconto degenera rapidamente in un folle misto tra una delle più deliranti e divertenti puntate di X-Files ed un cartone animato di Bugs Bunny (come candidamente ammesso dall'autore nella postfazione), per non parlare di un paio di evitabili scene raccontate dal punto di vista di un serpente.
Se Moore si fosse limitato ad una semplice parodia del noir questa sarebbe stata probabilmente una recensione da 4-5 stelle, comunque il suo stile mi è piaciuto parecchio e leggerò sicuramente altri suoi libri in futuro.
February 11, 2026
Via Audible
Narrator: Johnny Heller
“She had the kind of legs that kept her butt from resting on her shoes"
I loved the narration on this one. Read in that 40's noirish manner. Although this isn't one of Christopher Moore's better selections, I was still entertained and laughed out load a few time (I'm not talking about LOL'ing, I seriously laughed out load).
Narrator: Johnny Heller
“She had the kind of legs that kept her butt from resting on her shoes"
I loved the narration on this one. Read in that 40's noirish manner. Although this isn't one of Christopher Moore's better selections, I was still entertained and laughed out load a few time (I'm not talking about LOL'ing, I seriously laughed out load).
February 6, 2018
This isn't a totally trademark Christopher Moore book, but you know what? I'm totally OK with that. People evolve and frankly I didn't want to read a formulaic novel.
I struggled a bit at first - I think Moore was working on creating the Noir feel and it just felt like a lot of words going nowhere. But I'm a fan and I knew that it couldn't be that far off the mark, so I needed to persevere. What came next was maybe a little sophisticated that we perhaps expect.
San Francisco 1947. Your ragtag bunch of misfits get caught up in something which would be too much to handle for most. Using their street smarts they slither from one trouble to the next yet manage to overcome. The characters are great (typically Moore) and at the center of story is the relationship between Two Toes and the Cheese, which I absolutely loved. I don't know what it was about those two together, but for me it was magic.
The only disappointment for me was the lack of laugh out loud moments. It's humorous but definitely more subdued.
San Francisco is often featured prominently in Moore novels, and this (for me) was a new and fresh look at the City. In the afterword he gives us a glimpse into the process of writing this book and into the people and places who influenced him. I loved that. It made the reading of the book more special.
I enjoyed it.
I struggled a bit at first - I think Moore was working on creating the Noir feel and it just felt like a lot of words going nowhere. But I'm a fan and I knew that it couldn't be that far off the mark, so I needed to persevere. What came next was maybe a little sophisticated that we perhaps expect.
San Francisco 1947. Your ragtag bunch of misfits get caught up in something which would be too much to handle for most. Using their street smarts they slither from one trouble to the next yet manage to overcome. The characters are great (typically Moore) and at the center of story is the relationship between Two Toes and the Cheese, which I absolutely loved. I don't know what it was about those two together, but for me it was magic.
The only disappointment for me was the lack of laugh out loud moments. It's humorous but definitely more subdued.
San Francisco is often featured prominently in Moore novels, and this (for me) was a new and fresh look at the City. In the afterword he gives us a glimpse into the process of writing this book and into the people and places who influenced him. I loved that. It made the reading of the book more special.
I enjoyed it.
November 15, 2017
A new favorite from Christopher Moore! NOIR perfectly balanced sweet characters, film noir style and lingo, and Moore's trademark humor. In short, I loved it. It may actually be in my top 5 favorite Chris Moore books.
Sammy is a bartender who plans a get rich quick scheme that doesn't take long to go horribly awry. While he's trying to clean up the mess, he is also wooing a dame that entered his life named Stilton (aka The Cheese), and avoiding the "men in black" who are searching for the mysterious "subject."
I fell in love with nearly all the characters in this book. I loved how The Cheese was a strong female character, and how Sammy was a (not quite so innocent) bartender thrown into a weird and dangerous situation. It was a bit of a mystery, and I didn't always know where it was going in the best way.
I also really appreciated the afterward, where Moore explains his inspirations behind characters and locations.
Sammy is a bartender who plans a get rich quick scheme that doesn't take long to go horribly awry. While he's trying to clean up the mess, he is also wooing a dame that entered his life named Stilton (aka The Cheese), and avoiding the "men in black" who are searching for the mysterious "subject."
I fell in love with nearly all the characters in this book. I loved how The Cheese was a strong female character, and how Sammy was a (not quite so innocent) bartender thrown into a weird and dangerous situation. It was a bit of a mystery, and I didn't always know where it was going in the best way.
I also really appreciated the afterward, where Moore explains his inspirations behind characters and locations.
August 30, 2018
Argh, what to make of this book? and, more broadly, what to think about continuing to read Christopher Moore? is this the last Moore book I read? do I (finally) give up? or do I keep hoping for the (seemingly) long-ago sensation of laughing out loud, scratching my head page after page, and marveling that so much silliness could spew forth from one (potentially deeply disturbed) mind and be so efficiently packaged into novel form? what to think (and do), indeed?
OK, this was decidedly not one of my favorite Moore books and, particularly for the first third to a half, it was competing to be my least favorite... To be fair, I'm not a big fan of Noir detective fiction, so that could be a factor, but... Anyway, well into the book, out of nowhere the old Moore insanity-nay-inanity returned, with a vengeance.... [Non-spoiler alert:] For me, when an early (seemingly inconsequential) character later finds his voice, and, ... even later, when a new player (aka "the subject") is placed on the board, the book finally comes alive. Alas, until then, I felt like I was trudging through mud, and I considered giving up on more than one occasion.
I've been reading Moore for many years, and Goodreads tells me that I've now read 16 of his books ... C'mon, that's quite a few... and there's no question he's made me smile and laugh out loud over the years. I consider Lamb somewhat of a classic, and I've bought many a copy as gifts (for the right kind of friend). But that seems like quite some time ago ... before Sacre Blue, although there have been some high points since then...
I'm curious to see what Moore does next, but, after this effort, for the first time, there's no guarantee I'll buy and read his next effort. (Ah, but hope springs eternal!)
OK, this was decidedly not one of my favorite Moore books and, particularly for the first third to a half, it was competing to be my least favorite... To be fair, I'm not a big fan of Noir detective fiction, so that could be a factor, but... Anyway, well into the book, out of nowhere the old Moore insanity-nay-inanity returned, with a vengeance.... [Non-spoiler alert:] For me, when an early (seemingly inconsequential) character later finds his voice, and, ... even later, when a new player (aka "the subject") is placed on the board, the book finally comes alive. Alas, until then, I felt like I was trudging through mud, and I considered giving up on more than one occasion.
I've been reading Moore for many years, and Goodreads tells me that I've now read 16 of his books ... C'mon, that's quite a few... and there's no question he's made me smile and laugh out loud over the years. I consider Lamb somewhat of a classic, and I've bought many a copy as gifts (for the right kind of friend). But that seems like quite some time ago ... before Sacre Blue, although there have been some high points since then...
I'm curious to see what Moore does next, but, after this effort, for the first time, there's no guarantee I'll buy and read his next effort. (Ah, but hope springs eternal!)
April 29, 2018
Who am I kidding, right? If Christopher Moore pooped on a page every day and called it his Rorschach novel, I'd buy it and probably find something interesting in the way his feces splattered in the most hysterical and poignant patterns ever conceived. So, yeah. I guess you could say I'm a fan.
But here's the thing: Being a Christopher Moore fan isn't easy. He doesn't write on an annual schedule like a lot of my other favorites. And let's face it--the collected works, to date, set a very, very high bar. I have very high expectations of his books.
That said, Noir was spectacular. It wasn't what I was expecting at all. I somehow had it in my mind that this was going to be a detective novel, but it wasn't. It was just a collaboration of misfits fighting back against the absurdity of what faces them. In that way, it was similar to his earlier Pine Cove books.
The characters make this book. And he creates some fun ones for us. Moore's "dame" is hardly distressed. She follows along in a great history of him writing strong female characters. The everyman is fantastically flawed but good at heart and always trying to do the right thing. His cast of friends is superb and inclusive and full of laughs in a time period where that's difficult to do.
The banter is also top notch. I found myself stopping every few minutes to highlight a new passage I wanted to come back to and laugh at again later. No one spins a phrase like Moore does. This book is filled with some absolute gems.
"...he smiled like a dog at a barbecue for the blind."
"Free my people!" "I will. I am the Harriet Tubman of your breasts."
"Chinatown is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a wonton, and fried."
and my favorite...
"She had the kind of legs that kept her butt from resting on her shoes--"
How can you go wrong with good stuff like that? Huh?
I can be impartial though. I can be fair. I can point out some things that could be different or better. And mostly, it's just this. I wish I could whisper in Moore's ear that it was okay to be silly. That it's okay to be absurd. I get the feeling he's grown up quite a bit over the past decade. And that's okay. It also seems like he wants to play in deeper waters. It's easy to see he's challenging himself. All good things. But many years ago, you let your freak flag fly with a book about a demon and followed up, over the years by a sea serpent attracted to depressed people, zombies, vampires and a primordial goo that created life. He wrote about these thing unabashedly and full of joy.
It's cool that he wants to try different things and even perhaps more serious topics, but remember, Vonnegut himself wrote the best anti-war book ever written using a character who had become unstuck in time. I guess I'd just want him to know that he can be smart and funny and absolutely over the wall absurd at the same time. In this day and age, Mr. Moore, we need something absolutely beyond the realm of silly just to compete with the news that depresses us every night.
Anyway, that's my two cents. Read this book, read it right now, read it before even finishing this review. Seriously, why are you still reading this? Moore is a genius and the only true complaint I have is having to wait for the next book.
But here's the thing: Being a Christopher Moore fan isn't easy. He doesn't write on an annual schedule like a lot of my other favorites. And let's face it--the collected works, to date, set a very, very high bar. I have very high expectations of his books.
That said, Noir was spectacular. It wasn't what I was expecting at all. I somehow had it in my mind that this was going to be a detective novel, but it wasn't. It was just a collaboration of misfits fighting back against the absurdity of what faces them. In that way, it was similar to his earlier Pine Cove books.
The characters make this book. And he creates some fun ones for us. Moore's "dame" is hardly distressed. She follows along in a great history of him writing strong female characters. The everyman is fantastically flawed but good at heart and always trying to do the right thing. His cast of friends is superb and inclusive and full of laughs in a time period where that's difficult to do.
The banter is also top notch. I found myself stopping every few minutes to highlight a new passage I wanted to come back to and laugh at again later. No one spins a phrase like Moore does. This book is filled with some absolute gems.
"...he smiled like a dog at a barbecue for the blind."
"Free my people!" "I will. I am the Harriet Tubman of your breasts."
"Chinatown is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a wonton, and fried."
and my favorite...
"She had the kind of legs that kept her butt from resting on her shoes--"
How can you go wrong with good stuff like that? Huh?
I can be impartial though. I can be fair. I can point out some things that could be different or better. And mostly, it's just this. I wish I could whisper in Moore's ear that it was okay to be silly. That it's okay to be absurd. I get the feeling he's grown up quite a bit over the past decade. And that's okay. It also seems like he wants to play in deeper waters. It's easy to see he's challenging himself. All good things. But many years ago, you let your freak flag fly with a book about a demon and followed up, over the years by a sea serpent attracted to depressed people, zombies, vampires and a primordial goo that created life. He wrote about these thing unabashedly and full of joy.
It's cool that he wants to try different things and even perhaps more serious topics, but remember, Vonnegut himself wrote the best anti-war book ever written using a character who had become unstuck in time. I guess I'd just want him to know that he can be smart and funny and absolutely over the wall absurd at the same time. In this day and age, Mr. Moore, we need something absolutely beyond the realm of silly just to compete with the news that depresses us every night.
Anyway, that's my two cents. Read this book, read it right now, read it before even finishing this review. Seriously, why are you still reading this? Moore is a genius and the only true complaint I have is having to wait for the next book.
January 1, 2019
The release of Christopher Moore’s new novel, Noir, should be celebrated. Not because it’s his crowning literary achievement, but because every Moore release is cause for celebration. This is my first Moore, and I find his writing style and my reading preferences don't quite jive.
Research shows that over the past 25 years, he has consistently been one of the funniest and most prolific authors in America. And since Noir comes three long years after his last novel, Secondhand Souls, the excitement is palpable.
Beyond maintaining a level of wit throughout a book, however, is the pitfall of raising the bar so high so early in the narrative that it’s nearly impossible to clear it again. Noir starts on page one in such a fashion as the hero, bartender Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin, reflects upon how to delay a scream when he finds his boss lying dead on the floor of Sal’s Saloon:
“So, first I closed the back door, made sure it was solidly latched, then I glanced through the doorway into the front of the bar, which was still dark, and only then did I scream. Not the scream of a startled little girl, mind you, but a manly scream: the scream of a fellow who has caught his enormous dong in a revolving door while charging in to save a baby that was on fire or something.”
Moore is a master of metaphor and a sultan of simile and, well, a fine describer of the shriek that finding your boss dead might elicit (even if the mechanics of rushing into a burning building penis-first seem ill-advised). One of the great pleasures in Noir is trying to decipher the myriad comparisons that Moore employs, which are often nonsensical but no less entertaining for the effort.
After Sammy gathers himself, he realizes that his boss was likely killed by the snake Sammy ordered through the mail. Sammy has discovered that there is a booming black market in San Francisco for “snake whiz,” which many Asian men with erectile dysfunction are willing to pay handsomely for.
But while trying to capture his cash-cow venomous reptile, Sammy also uncovers a club of powerful, nefarious rich men who participate in some rather abhorrent rituals in the woods outside of the city.
Unfortunately for Sammy, his new love interest, Mrs. Stilton (or the “Cheese,” as she becomes affectionately known) agrees to participate in a gathering of these men, and Sammy must extricate her from their clutches or lose the love of his life — even if she’s only been in his life for a few days.
In keeping with the noir style, there are many divergent plotlines that ultimately have to be tied up, and Moore’s solution — no spoilers here — is unique to the genre. But anyone who has ever laughed their way through one of his novels knows that unique is what he does best. The Good Book, Shakespeare, and now noir will never be the same.
Beyond maintaining a level of wit throughout a book, however, is the pitfall of raising the bar so high so early in the narrative that it’s nearly impossible to clear it again. Noir starts on page one in such a fashion as the hero, bartender Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin, reflects upon how to delay a scream when he finds his boss lying dead on the floor of Sal’s Saloon:
“Now, I am the younger brother of an older brother who often measured the worth of a guy by his ability to not scream under pressure, and insisted, in fact, that if any screamlike sounds ever reached Ma and/or Pa, this younger brother, me, would receive a pasting such as I had never known, including severe and painful Indian burns to the bone — a threat my older brother, Judges, may he rest in peace, backed up with great enthusiasm through most of my boyhood.
“So, first I closed the back door, made sure it was solidly latched, then I glanced through the doorway into the front of the bar, which was still dark, and only then did I scream. Not the scream of a startled little girl, mind you, but a manly scream: the scream of a fellow who has caught his enormous dong in a revolving door while charging in to save a baby that was on fire or something.”
After Sammy gathers himself, he realizes that his boss was likely killed by the snake Sammy ordered through the mail. Sammy has discovered that there is a booming black market in San Francisco for “snake whiz,” which many Asian men with erectile dysfunction are willing to pay handsomely for.
(Any criticism of Noir as being overly derivative of Hammett pretty much evaporates once the lucrative serpent pee is introduced.)
But while trying to capture his cash-cow venomous reptile, Sammy also uncovers a club of powerful, nefarious rich men who participate in some rather abhorrent rituals in the woods outside of the city.
Unfortunately for Sammy, his new love interest, Mrs. Stilton (or the “Cheese,” as she becomes affectionately known) agrees to participate in a gathering of these men, and Sammy must extricate her from their clutches or lose the love of his life — even if she’s only been in his life for a few days.
For my first pass it was an interesting reading attempt. I may try another.
Research shows that over the past 25 years, he has consistently been one of the funniest and most prolific authors in America. And since Noir comes three long years after his last novel, Secondhand Souls, the excitement is palpable.
Beyond maintaining a level of wit throughout a book, however, is the pitfall of raising the bar so high so early in the narrative that it’s nearly impossible to clear it again. Noir starts on page one in such a fashion as the hero, bartender Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin, reflects upon how to delay a scream when he finds his boss lying dead on the floor of Sal’s Saloon:
“So, first I closed the back door, made sure it was solidly latched, then I glanced through the doorway into the front of the bar, which was still dark, and only then did I scream. Not the scream of a startled little girl, mind you, but a manly scream: the scream of a fellow who has caught his enormous dong in a revolving door while charging in to save a baby that was on fire or something.”
Moore is a master of metaphor and a sultan of simile and, well, a fine describer of the shriek that finding your boss dead might elicit (even if the mechanics of rushing into a burning building penis-first seem ill-advised). One of the great pleasures in Noir is trying to decipher the myriad comparisons that Moore employs, which are often nonsensical but no less entertaining for the effort.
After Sammy gathers himself, he realizes that his boss was likely killed by the snake Sammy ordered through the mail. Sammy has discovered that there is a booming black market in San Francisco for “snake whiz,” which many Asian men with erectile dysfunction are willing to pay handsomely for.
But while trying to capture his cash-cow venomous reptile, Sammy also uncovers a club of powerful, nefarious rich men who participate in some rather abhorrent rituals in the woods outside of the city.
Unfortunately for Sammy, his new love interest, Mrs. Stilton (or the “Cheese,” as she becomes affectionately known) agrees to participate in a gathering of these men, and Sammy must extricate her from their clutches or lose the love of his life — even if she’s only been in his life for a few days.
In keeping with the noir style, there are many divergent plotlines that ultimately have to be tied up, and Moore’s solution — no spoilers here — is unique to the genre. But anyone who has ever laughed their way through one of his novels knows that unique is what he does best. The Good Book, Shakespeare, and now noir will never be the same.
Beyond maintaining a level of wit throughout a book, however, is the pitfall of raising the bar so high so early in the narrative that it’s nearly impossible to clear it again. Noir starts on page one in such a fashion as the hero, bartender Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin, reflects upon how to delay a scream when he finds his boss lying dead on the floor of Sal’s Saloon:
“Now, I am the younger brother of an older brother who often measured the worth of a guy by his ability to not scream under pressure, and insisted, in fact, that if any screamlike sounds ever reached Ma and/or Pa, this younger brother, me, would receive a pasting such as I had never known, including severe and painful Indian burns to the bone — a threat my older brother, Judges, may he rest in peace, backed up with great enthusiasm through most of my boyhood.
“So, first I closed the back door, made sure it was solidly latched, then I glanced through the doorway into the front of the bar, which was still dark, and only then did I scream. Not the scream of a startled little girl, mind you, but a manly scream: the scream of a fellow who has caught his enormous dong in a revolving door while charging in to save a baby that was on fire or something.”
After Sammy gathers himself, he realizes that his boss was likely killed by the snake Sammy ordered through the mail. Sammy has discovered that there is a booming black market in San Francisco for “snake whiz,” which many Asian men with erectile dysfunction are willing to pay handsomely for.
(Any criticism of Noir as being overly derivative of Hammett pretty much evaporates once the lucrative serpent pee is introduced.)
But while trying to capture his cash-cow venomous reptile, Sammy also uncovers a club of powerful, nefarious rich men who participate in some rather abhorrent rituals in the woods outside of the city.
Unfortunately for Sammy, his new love interest, Mrs. Stilton (or the “Cheese,” as she becomes affectionately known) agrees to participate in a gathering of these men, and Sammy must extricate her from their clutches or lose the love of his life — even if she’s only been in his life for a few days.
For my first pass it was an interesting reading attempt. I may try another.
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