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Helden wie wir: Roman

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Die deutsche Geschichte muss umgeschrieben werden: Klaus Uhltzscht war es, der die Berliner Mauer zum Einsturz gebracht hat! Dabei ist Klaus eigentlich ein Versager par exellence. Als Sohn eines Stasi-Spitzels und einer Hygieneinspektorin wächst er zwischen Jogginghosen und Dr. Schnabels Aufklärungsbuch auf, bleibt im Sportunterricht auf ewig ein Flachschwimmer. Auch sein großer Traum, als Topagent bei der Stasi zu arbeiten, erfüllt sich leider nicht. Dafür aber wird er, der inzwischen eine Perversionskartei erfunden hat, zum persönlichen Blutspender Erich Honeckers. Jetzt, da auch noch die Mauer durch - man höre und staune - seinen Penis fiel, packt Klaus aus und erzählt von seinem ruhmreichen Leben. Keiner hat bislang frecher und unverkrampfter den kleinbürgerlichen Mief des Ostens gelüftet als Brussig. Ein Lesevergnügen allererster Ordnung!

303 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1995

22 people are currently reading
477 people want to read

About the author

Thomas Brussig

42 books44 followers
Thomas Brussig is a German writer best known for his satirical novels that deal with the German Democratic Republic.

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5 stars
95 (15%)
4 stars
190 (31%)
3 stars
206 (33%)
2 stars
80 (13%)
1 star
41 (6%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
Profile Image for Brigid.
Author 4 books83 followers
April 19, 2018
Once in the 90s, I found myself in the audience of a German performance art piece. The climax of the piece was one of the artists pulling a skinned-but-still-muscled cow head out of a barrel of water and using the skinned cow head to fling water at the audience.

If you're into that kind of thing, this book is five stars.

If not, you can at least give Thomas Brussig credit as the go-to contemporary German author when it comes to novels about die Wende (The "Gentle Revolution" of 1989); you can even give him credit for his funny, lively voice and his interesting insight. But about 25% of this book is about the main character's genitalia and other things I can't manage to type much less revisit.

I should note, however, that the 75% remaining was good enough to tackle Brussig's "Wie Es Leuchtet" with high hopes and a good bilingual dictionary.
Profile Image for Sara.
360 reviews4 followers
April 3, 2022
DNF, a few clever sentences here and there but god I just was so bored. Penis penis Stasi penis penis is a basic summary of the book.
Profile Image for Lorenz Adlung.
152 reviews8 followers
May 5, 2019
Man sollte keine Buchempfehlungen von seinen Freunden annehmen, zu deren Lieblingsbüchern "Er ist wieder da" von Timur Vermes zählt. Ich tat es bei "Helden wie wir", und beging damit einen großen Fehler. Das Buch erzählt die Geschichte des Klaus Uhltzscht, der, wie er zu Beginn ankündigt, mit seinem Schwanz die Berliner Mauer zum Einsturz brachte. Was als Bericht an Mr. Kitzelstein von der New York Times in 7 Kapiteln erzählt wird, ist eine uninspirierte, belanglose Geschichte, die zwischen prä-pubertärem und Altherren-Witz-Humor hin und her schwankt.
Die Paranoia und Begierden des Protagonisten werden auch nicht durch seitenlange Wiederholungen ausgemalter Szenarien glaubwürdiger. Die Sprache ist plumb, der Ideenreichtum von Autor Thomas Brussig in etwa so erschöpft, wie seine Hauptfigur, die nach fünf Laufrunden im Sportstadion fast kollabiert. Die Beschreibung der Staatssicherheit ist überladen von dümmlichen Klischees und lässt selbst die Einstreuung von etwas kulturellem Wissen deplatziert wirken:
">> Negation der Negation? Ist doch ganz einfach. Du kennst doch auch Das Lächeln der Sixtinischen Madonna von Leonardo. - Denk mal drüber nach. Ich geh erst mal pinkeln.<< Wo ist da die Negation der Negation. Das Lächeln der Sixtinischen Madonna, von Leonardo. Es war verwirrend. Meinte er Das Lächeln der Mona Lisa von Leonardo oder Die Sixtinische Madonna (die aber - und das weiß ein Sohn meiner Mutter und Besitzer von mittlerweile vier Bibliotheksausweisen - von Raffael ist)?"
Das einzig Positive, das ich der Lektüre dieses Romans abgewinnen kann, ist, dass ich jetzt mit Sicherheit keine Buchempfehlungen meiner Freunde annehme, wenn sie einen derartigen "Geschmack" zur Schau stellen.
Profile Image for Holly.
7 reviews30 followers
June 17, 2013
"People can go on telling themselves things like 'Think before you speak!' or 'You don’t believe that yourself' or 'Forget it!' But they can also say, 'Oh, what lovely flowers!' or 'Are you a phone freak or something?' or 'Suit yourself,' or 'This record makes me feel so happy!’ Wonderful! Words are delightful little gifts we exchange like the Easter eggs we paint and hide for others to find and enjoy. I’d forgotten that, but you reminded me of it."

Clever and witty, Heroes Like Us is a simply hilarious story. A narrator claiming to have brought down the Berlin Wall with his penis? How could that not pique your interest?

I chose the beginning quote of this review because it very much reminds me of how I felt reading the book. Finding Brussig's eggs of satirical humor of the events surrounding November 9th, 1989, especially the more subtle jabs, reminded me of how refreshing excellent writing can be. Klaus Uhltzscht, our shameless and hypersexual main character, over-analyzes everything, a trait which lands him in a multitude of hilariously awkward social situations. He narrates the events as any revered (perhaps a bit egomaniacal) historical figure would, from his gifted childhood which led to his "joining" of the Stasi, the secret police organization of East Germany. Klaus is truly one of the most memorable characters I have ever encountered in fiction.

Klaus's narration weaves satire with serious social commentary on the state of Germany prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall. This was a fantastic summer read to be enjoyed by all who have a liking for satire or quirky humor in general.
Profile Image for Karschtl.
2,256 reviews61 followers
June 2, 2012
"Die deutsche Geschichte muss umgeschrieben werden: Klaus Uhltzscht war es, der die Berliner Mauer zum Einsturz gebracht hat! Dabei ist Klaus eigentlich ein Versager par exellence. Als Sohn eines Stasi-Spitzels und einer Hygieneinspektorin wächst er zwischen Jogginghosen und Dr. Schnabels Aufklärungsbuch auf, bleibt im Sportunterricht auf ewig ein Flachschwimmer. Auch sein großer Traum, als Topagent bei der Stasi zu arbeiten, erfüllt sich leider nicht. Dafür aber wird er, der inzwischen eine Perversionskartei erfunden hat, zum persönlichen Blutspender Erich Honeckers. Jetzt, da auch noch die Mauer durch - man höre und staune - seinen Penis fiel, packt Klaus aus und erzählt von seinem ruhmreichen Leben. Keiner hat bislang frecher und unverkrampfter den kleinbürgerlichen Mief des Ostens gelüftet als Brussig. Ein Lesevergnügen allererster Ordnung!"

Und meine kleine Heimatstadt kommt drin vor!!!!!! Whoopee!!
Ansonsten war mir zuviel von Schwanz und Perversionen die Rede, auch wenn der Schreibstil sehr unterhaltsam war.
10 reviews1 follower
April 24, 2008
The wittiest, dirtiest, and most original retelling of the collapse of East Germany. The only thing slowing my progress through it is the cover of my edition, a close-up photograph of a sculpture's genitalia, which has made me a little too embarrassed to break it out on the subway. For the most part I prefer strangers on the train not think I might be reading German pornography in public, but perhaps I am just being paranoid.
Profile Image for Ray.
704 reviews155 followers
February 21, 2015
The premise of this book is a good idea - lusty teenager causes fall of berlin wall and it has some funny moments, but it did not really grab my attention. I felt that the plot was rushed and the ending was poor.

worth a read but nothing special
157 reviews6 followers
July 24, 2011
Interesting, but I liked the other book I read from him more. But the way he writes about East-Berlin and the Stasi is definitely new and fresh to me.
Profile Image for Paulius Rymeikis.
50 reviews8 followers
December 23, 2020
Kaip sakė vienas apžvalgininkas: tai istorija apie tai, kaip penis nugriovė Berlyno sieną. Nenugriovė, bet dalyvavo tame. Man gi šis kulminacinis knygos taškas kaip tik buvo tai, kas nukrapštė penktą įvertinimo žvaigždę, nes jeigu tik sugebi į daugybinius pimpalus, trimitus ir masturbavimąsį pažiūrėti per daug jų nesureikšmindamas, tai gauni gana šmaikščią „coming of age“ jaunuolio istoriją, kurios fone paskutiniai dvidešimt Rytų Vokietijos metų. Keliose vietose juokiausi balsu į pabaigą laukiau, kada gi pagaliau baigsis.

Viršelio autoriams palinkėčiau Vėlykų proga išsidažyti ir nuogiems perbėgti per Laisvės alėją – gal tada suprastumėt, kaip jaučiasi jūsų papuošta knyga?

Citata.: „Šiam reikalui man reikėjo šviesos, todėl su neužsegtomis kelnėmis ėmiau leistis laiptais žemyn, paslydau dešimties milijonų mikrožuvelių balutėje, griuvau ir susilaužiau kairįjį nykštį bei dešiniąją alkūnę. Kelnės prasegtos, pimpalas kyšo, servetėlė dar neišpakuota – o aš nebegaliu pajudinti nė vienos rankos!“
Profile Image for Simona Moschini.
Author 5 books45 followers
August 18, 2017
Sulfurea e fantastica pseudo-autobiografia di uno sgangherato Paperino della DDR, oscillante fra ossessioni sessuali alla Alexander Portnoy e nostalgie crepuscolari alla Zeno Cosini.
Eppure, fra le pieghe psichiche autodenigratorie di questo fantasioso uomo del sottosuolo, si capisce molto di quel teatrino dell'assurdo che fu - neppure troppi anni fa - vivere in una città con un muro in mezzo.

Consigliatissima questa intervista della Stampa a Brussig, che pare sia molto amato anche dalla Merkel (sul cui sense of humour si aprirebbero scenari insospettati): http://www.lastampa.it/2011/07/10/cul... .
18 reviews
December 6, 2020
Nagu autor lubas, oli see jutustus tema riistast. Seega, miks tundsin keset raamatut juba kerget tülpimust ja igavust? Vahest ei pakkunud mulle ühe idioodi riistalood enam pinget. Vahest ei pakkunud mulle antud idioot enam pinget. Kiirema ja ladusama lõpuga oleks hoidnud lugemistunde ja igavlemist kokku. Ka "kangelase" sisemonoloogid olid juba nii etteaimatavad ja tohutult venivad. Ei eitagi, et nalja sai ning väiksed perverdipoisid leiavad kindlasti häid uusi nippe eneserahuldamiseks, aga sellest mitusada lehekülge lugemist välja venitada oli minu jaoks liig.
Profile Image for Lupo.
563 reviews24 followers
February 4, 2018
Una spanna sotto "Am kürzeren Ende der Sonnenallee". Il libro è sconclusionato quanto il suo protagonista. E' un insieme di mille dettagli, molti dei quali probabilmente apprezzabili solo da chi è vissuto nella DDR. A partire dal linguaggio che molti dei personaggi usano.
La seconda stellina è meritata solo per la presenza di alcune scene decisamente esilaranti. Troppo poco per farne un buon libro.
Profile Image for Gerhard Pfeiffer.
55 reviews1 follower
June 29, 2020
Selten habe ich so einen infantilen Müll gelesen. Einige Stellen waren zum Schmunzeln, einige zum Nachdenken, aber das meiste war für mich nur „geistiger Dünnpfiff“. Brussigs „Am kürzeren Ende der Sonnenallee“ oder „Beste Absichten“ haben mir ganz gut gefallen, aber „Helden wie wir“ war für mich ein Reinfall. Doch das ist Geschmacksache. Wer diese Art von Humor mag, der wird das Buch bejubeln. Ich für meinen Teil, bin durch mit Brussig.
Profile Image for Lina .
341 reviews
June 15, 2023
3/5 extrem abstruses, random, nicht gutes Buch, das absolut keinen Sinn macht. In dem Buch wird überhaupt nicht ein Blatt for den Mund genommen und alles (vor allem sexuelles) komplett ungeschönt beschrieben. Das Buch an sich war nicht gut geschrieben und ich würde es absolut keinem weiterempfehlen. Wie kann so etwas von Thomas Brussig kommen????
525 reviews4 followers
February 15, 2020
An East German Portnoy? Something like that. Brussig's novel is witty and even hilarious, but also somewhat tiring in the hero's fascination with his ... tool. Started much better than it finished, in my view. The "negation of a negation" bit is priceless satire.
Profile Image for Jeremy.
121 reviews
May 24, 2019
Strange and entertaining; closed well.
Profile Image for Ronsens.
114 reviews23 followers
June 25, 2020
(Ich habe den Verdacht, ich würde es nicht mehr so gut finden, wenn ich es nochmal läse, Bewertung entspricht dem Eindruck aus der Erinnerung heraus)
7 reviews
December 15, 2021
Someone who visited me a long ago left this book and I took it recently...I would have been very upset if I paid for it. There are some moments but very rare. Very boring
Profile Image for Kristy.
50 reviews
July 6, 2022
Got about a third through before deciding to give up. First person ramblings about the protagonist's childhood, father, and overfixation on his penis.
Nur labern. 😩
Profile Image for Mampfwurm.
69 reviews
September 23, 2022
Eine Art "Die Blechtrommel", nur über die DDR. Sehr amüsant und nie langweilig.
Profile Image for Roksana0502.
70 reviews
October 23, 2023
To jest jedna z tych książek, w których rozumiem każde słowo, ale w zdaniach tracą one sens. Nie mam pojęcia, o czym była ta książka.
109 reviews1 follower
April 15, 2024
Oft ist die Fixierung des Ich-Erzählers auf seine Genitalien sehr peinlich. Insgesamt mag ich aber den Humor und den Einfallsreichtum des Romans.
1,625 reviews
April 12, 2025
Apparently an influential novel of the Berlin Wall’s coming down. Crude humour included.
Profile Image for Tina.
31 reviews
March 15, 2017
Basically just a 300-page rant about his small penis. Some scenes were funny tho.
Profile Image for Stephen Durrant.
674 reviews171 followers
May 8, 2010
Klaus Uhlzscht (the latter surname "carries the seeds of disaster. You need only look at that poor, lonely vowel laboring under the weight of all those consonants" p34) is responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall. It all has to do with his genitalia, as does so much else in this humorous coming-of-age novel. Klaus has great difficulty liberating himself from his overbearing mother and mysterious but powerful father. In fact, he is powerless to resist either of his parents, and it is through his father's influence that Klaus lands a job with the Stasi, although he is not entirely clear at first that that is indeed where he actually works. The genius of Brussig's novel is to create such a broad comedy about life in Eastern Germany and service in the Stasi, not normally treated as comedic at all. But the funniest passages deal with teenage masturbation and guilt and in at least one instance plainly derives from "Portnoy" (the gentle reader can probably guess quite easily which Rothian scene I have in mind!) "Heroes Like Us" has sections no reader will soon forget, and the guilt-ridden, self-questioning narrator, while at times a bit tiresome, can be exceedingly funny. Brussig, I think, is also making a political argument about Eastern Germany where people "believe in a strength they never possessed, just as they went in fear of a power that never existed" (p260), but the political message this book is intended to carry is well obscured, at least for this reader, by sex, guilt, and impossible parents--in other words, the normal key constituents of the teenage years!
Profile Image for Britt.
70 reviews7 followers
April 6, 2017
I had to read this book for one of my German literature classes and I expected to hate it because the blurb sounded so ridiculous. But, reading the first few chapters, I was very pleasantly surprised! The protagonist and his problematic upbringing are very interesting and cleverly written. But the story becomes more and more absurd as it goes on, and not exactly in an enjoyable way... I was pretty annoyed by the last third of the book. Overall it's still an interesting read, though, especially considering how much attention it got when it was first released.
Profile Image for Keval.
166 reviews4 followers
September 11, 2013
This book is about a young man whose penis brought down the Berlin Wall. With a description like this, you'd likely want to know how this happens. There were times I could relate to the protagonist and was amused by him and his idiosyncratic family. But I got bored several times because bits of this novel were either a tad too drawn out or tried too hard to be funny. It could also simply be a case of my expectations when I picked up this book.

Profile Image for Vincent.
25 reviews36 followers
October 27, 2015
It didn' t leave me anything, pretty pointless book. I was expecting a full DDR description but i just plain didn' t like the book. And the fact that he becomes a porn star at the end is complete bul*sh**.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
107 reviews3 followers
July 12, 2010
8/10. An odd book this one. Very funny in places but probably needed a bit more editing as it did go on too long in my opinion.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews

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