Soulful Simplicity: How Living With Less Can Lead to So Much More

by Courtney Carver

"Gradually, I began to see how simplicity allowed hope to replace fear, and I became healthier and happier than I was before my [MS] diagnosis. Over time, my entire family embraced a simpler life and discovered the soulfulness within it. As a result, I felt better physically and emotionally and changed my life in ways I had never imagined [...] While I have radically simplified my life, I did it very gently. Through the process, I discovered it isn't about organizing things or just getting rid of stuff, Those are the mechanics and certainly part of it all, but simplicity is about more than making space in your home. It's also about creating more time in your life and more love in your heart. What I learned is that you can actually be more with less."

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Personal Development, Memoir, Personal Growth, Lifestyle

204 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 26, 2017

About the author

Courtney Carver writes things. She wrote a book called Soulful Simplicity and the simplicity blog, bemorewithless.com. She shares things that make her laugh and cry on Instagram (@bemorewithless). She doesn't know her Myers Briggs Type but she knows she's an introvert because she needs to be free from humans several times a day (cats and dogs are always welcome). Aside from her seasonal wardrobe, she doesn't count her things.

Carver doesn't have an impressive degree, awards, or a big, fancy home full of stuff. Instead, she selectively surrounds herself with her favorite things and people she loves. She does work she truly cares about, goes on adventures (in the world or in her own backyard) and likes chai lattes with almond milk while reading or writing.

Her new book, Project 333, The Minimalist Fashion Challenge That Proves Less Really is So Much More will help you create a capsule wardrobe and a beautiful life.

Reviews

[Val ⚓️ Shameless Handmaiden ⚓️ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

I enjoyed a lot of the messages in this book...

Slowing things down....
Stop being busy for the sake of being busy and telling everyone how "busy" you always are like it's a badge of honor....
Putting less pressure on yourself to be perfect...
Touching base with yourself and body/mind wants and needs...

Saying NO more often instead of spreading yourself thin trying to be the perfect Instagram mom with a full time job, amazing kids in ALL the activities, and a CrossFit yoga body...all while balancing the national debt and solving math theorems in your free time...you know, the crazy expectations placed on women these days.

I also appreciated how, when getting a little woo woo as far as "placing your hand on your heart" and "listening" to what it's trying to tell you, Carver blatantly states she realizes it's woo woo and is not normally a woo woo person - but to just give it a go.

You know, good stuff.

However, I am NOT woo woo.
I also have no problem saying no and NO problem avoiding busyness.
In fact, I am quite the opposite. I probably say no way too freely. Commitment gives me hives.
I also don't have kids and their endless baseball games and team mom duties to duck.
And I don't do a lot of social media.

So a lot of this book didn't apply to me in certain ways.
There were also a lot of parts that got kind of repetitive.

Still, I did appreciate a lot of stuff she discussed here.
I follow her blog and enjoy reading it.
So I am happy to have purchased this and read it if only to support the work she does.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of those books that I'm not quite sure what to focus on. It felt like it belonged in two separate categories. If this was just an autobiography, I could rate this 3.5 and I'd be okay rounding up to 4 stars. I liked her personal story and I could appreciate her navigation of MS, single parenting and a new marriage.

But then it was also a self-help kind of book about gaining simplicity in life. That part didn't really grab me. She was a shopoholic, accrued debt, kept up with the Joneses, etc. and explained how she pulled away from materialism because her wake up call came in the form of an MS diagnosis.

I couldn't identify with that because I'm none of those things. I hate shopping and debt and I don't feel the need to collect stuff or to live outside my means. I think a section on community and/or service would have been welcomed because this was a little too 'me, me, me', as far as self help goes.

I'm glad she has found her quiet space and the contentment that goes with that, so 3 stars.

[Megan Ericson · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author sent me an advanced copy of this book before I interviewed her on my podcast. I can honestly say I loved it! The book is full of love, peace, and forgiveness. I've read many decluttering books and books about simplifying your life, but this one stands out not for the “how” of simplifying our lives, but for the “why.”

There are decluttering tips in the book, but it’s much more about the how to deal with the emotional side of letting go, which can often be the hardest part. Clearing out our clutter and slowing down our schedules is much more about re-training your heart to know what it really needs rather than just saying no or filling a trash can.

My favorites parts of the book:
- Courtney’s MS diagnosis and everyone’s wake up call
- The need for momma’s to practice self-care
- Courtney’s “heart practice”
- Capsule wardrobes, Project 333 and the benefits of paring down your clothing
- Having a “Simplicity Summit” with your spouse
- Boycotting busy
- Unrounded kids (not overscheduling your little ones)
- What it means to Sabbath

Favorite quotes from the book:
- "Clutter attracts clutter and calm attracts calm."
- "I'm not opposed to owning things, but looking back, I see that everything I owned, owned me back."
- "When guilt is attached to holding on, the only remedy is to let go."
- "I refuse to live in fear of not having enough."
- "Busyness has become more pervasive than clutter in complicating our lives."

[Libby · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic book by Courtney Carver! I listened to the audio book read by the author. Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2006, Courtney says the disease put her on the path to simplicity when she realized how much stress her lifestyle was creating. I could relate so much to being stressed by your lifestyle. Our materialistic culture supports our mad rush to have things and becomes the yardstick by which we not only measure ourselves but others. People will not see us as successful if we don’t have the nice house we’ve always dreamed of, the latest clothes, shoes, and accessories, and our children have to measure up with name brand clothes and technology devices, go to the right schools and mingle with the right people. It’s a lot of pressure!

I’ve been downsizing for a few years now and I have a sister who lives a minimalist lifestyle. Even so, it was uplifting to be reminded of so many of the tenets of this way of life. How easy it is to let materialism creep back in, and how easy it is to start wanting more stuff. Carver absolutely has a point that if you have more stuff, more time is given to taking care of that stuff. I love Carver’s hand over your heart techniques, her project 333 (hope to work toward that), and her decluttering advice. More than anything, I love her soulful knowing about the most important things in life and how to live a life with more of that and less things.

Carver says, “Forgetting who you are and living outside your heart is painful. Do whatever it takes to come back and be more you. Give yourself all the space, time, and love you need to remember who your are.” What a true gem this book is, the words of the author feel as though she’s speaking from her heart. Highly recommended!

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

~SIMPLIFY~
I have shared with you before that like many people in this day and age, I'm on a journey to simplify. Simplify my house, simplify my life, simplify my schedule, simplify my mind. There's too much STUFF taking up too much SPACE that sucks away from LIFE. Anyone else feel this way? Soulful Simplicity is another book I've recently read on this journey. Like other books in this category, Soulful Simplicity draws from other sources as well as the authors own. People in this day and age are often on a quest for more and the author was on this path as well. Courtney Carver was constantly striving for more until she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and she needed to de-stress her life to improve her symptoms. She shares her journey in this book, gives helpful tips for those on their own journey, and motivates the reader to pare down the excess and live life abundantly. This book was interesting, as I enjoyed hearing the authors story, and motivated me to continue on this journey. For me, this was ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars (rounded up from 3.5).

[Bayan · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب ملهم و بسيط في كلماته
أنصح كل الناس يقرئوه
الكاتبة تعلمنا نفرق بين الاشياء الضرورية في حياتنا وبين الاشياء الي تستنزف كل طاقاتنا

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from the publishing house. All thoughts & opinions are my own.

Soulful Simplicity embraces the power in simplicity and it is done effectively through Carver’s own journey towards a simpler life.

If you aren’t familiar with Courtney, she is the creator of the Project 333, the capsule wardrobe project that I began embracing a few years ago. Her journey towards this simpler life began with her MS diagnosis and the need to scale down her life, home, and belongings in order to make her health a priority.  Through this journey she discovered how wonderful the practice of minimalism is and how powerful it can be for everyone, even if you haven’t been faced with health issues.

Carver tackles the art of saying no, the rejection of busy, the whittling of clutter, the beauty in a smaller wardrobe, and so much more.  Her lifestyle and message speaks loudly during this time of resolutions and serves as a great reminder, to those that are already pursuing a minimalist life, that there is always an opportunity to do better with what we have.

[Renegade ♥ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐️

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good, though others who have read a lot of simplicity and mindfulness books might find this basic.

[Felix · Rating 3 out of 5]

Repetitive and boring, but it does make a few good points. It took me forever to read, though.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was just what I needed at the perfect time. I would even go so far as to say that it is life-changing. It really made me think about my relationship to "stuff", the clutter of daily living, and after reading it, I think I will be more mindful about future purchases and will try to bring into my home only what I really love and/or need. I will also be even more diligent about de-cluttering and purging items that no longer serve me, fit me, or bring me joy. I've already done a lot of this work in the current phase of my life, but there is always room for improvement and "blind spots" to work on.

For example, in her waning years, my grandmother gifted me a partially completed quilt that an old friend of hers, Ada, had given to her before her death. Ada could no longer sew, and neither could my grandmother. Failing eyesight and arthritis had taken their toll. So, I received the gift and was delighted. The quilt is a beautiful old pattern, wedding ring, and the fabrics that comprised it were vintage patterns and cheerful, bright colors. I was determined to complete the quilt and use it. All the pieces were cut and ready to piece together to add to the already completed blocks, but there was still a lot of work to do, including sewing all the completed blocks together and doing the actual quilting, a major undertaking.

I was in my 30s then and am now in my 50s. I did go through a brief "quilting phase", taking a class, buying books, and making a small wall-hanging. It was something new and fun for me. I worked a bit on Ada's quilt, but before too long, set it aside in favor of other projects I enjoyed more. I was working full-time and had a house and yard to maintain, and a husband and dogs, and there just weren't enough hours a day. The quilt, in all its pieces went into a Tupperware container at some point in the early 2000's and has lived there, untouched, ever since. It is currently in storage in my mother's house in North Carolina, and I have been traveling and living semi-nomadically for the past 8+ years. Out of sight, out of mind. I honestly hadn't thought of that quilt in years, until today.

Thanks to listening to Courtney Carver's inspiring book, the next time I am there and can dig the container holding the quilt pieces out of storage, I am going to freecycle it. There has bound to be someone out there who still quilts and will finally finish and use or display what should be a beautiful quilt. Perhaps it will bring them joy. That person, however, is not me, and I am finally able to admit that. Quilting is just not something that will ever be a part of my life again, and I am finally wise enough to realize that. Letting go of the quilt, and the guilt I might feel in not finishing a project I started decades ago, will be liberating indeed.

I also realized that since I've been living nomadically, and as an expat for part of the past eight years, I am already doing the "capsule wardrobe" that Carver popularized, of necessity. I may have more than 33 pieces of clothing (including shoes and accessories), but not a lot more. And as Carver emphasizes, this is a freeing thing! I spend so little time shopping for clothes and deciding what to wear that I have more time for more interesting endeavors, like taking a bike ride or reading a good book.

I hope I can keep the lessons from this book in my mind and heart moving forward. There are so many. This book is a real treasure, and even if not all of it spoke to me as strongly as some other parts, overall it was an inspiration and a gift.

[Kathy Peterman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love that Courtney Carver takes a deep dive into her life before and after she discovered simplicity. She brings us along with her, allowing us to honor our own unique journey as we see ourselves in her story and the lessons along the way. It's a book about the why and how simplicity is not just decluttering our physical things. It's about decluttering our health, our schedules and commitments, relationships and old beliefs to make room for what's important to us. It's about the richness of living this life fully as compared to working so hard we go numb, rest on the weekends, and repeat.

A funny side effect from reading this book is that I realized how much I hang onto the past in photos, cassette tapes, CDs, and DVDs. Carver helped me realize that sometimes we hang onto to the good times for fear there won't be more. I now feel ready to honor my past by doing a victory road trip, listening to the songs and memories, releasing them and then go about creating more wonderful memories now! It's really a book about living your life fully now with tips on how to start that process.

[Abby Garrett · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you are looking for a practical book about living a life of minimalism this is not your book, but if you are looking about a sweet story of why less is truly more, this book will inspire you.

[Chantal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Een zeer inspirerend boek voor elk van ons die wat wil minderen en gewoon terug wil naar een simpel leven. Ook haar blog “Be more with less” is een aanrader. Ik doop alvast deze “soulful simplicity” voor mezelf om naar “simpel contentement”. Daar ga ik voor☺️

[Overbooked ✎ · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is an organised collection of well-known self help strategies (self discovery journal, morning routine, habit stacking, meditation, gratitude, de-cluttering, mission statement, financial wisdom, letting go, live in the present etc.). Can be useful for people who are new to minimalism, but if you’ve read a few self development books, you’ll find little original content here.
The best things I liked are the effects of comparing ourselves to others and the author differentiating between self-esteem and self-compassion, but personally I found her book a bit preachy and too repetitive (how many times do I need to be reminded to “put a hand on your heart”?) so an OK read for me.

Fav Quotes:

we buy and hold on to things for many reasons, but usually it’s because we want to be someone we are not, feel something we don’t, or prove we are something we don’t think we are to someone else.

Self-esteem means judging or evaluating yourself positively. You believe that you are a good person, and you identify with your strengths. However, research has shown that for most of us, believing we are good is closely related to believing we are better than other people. This is the main problem with being overly focused on self-esteem. If I need to believe that I’m better than other people in order to have high self-esteem, it can make me more likely to criticize others, and more fearful of people seeing my weaknesses. I can become too competitive, and too fragile when receiving negative feedback.

Self-compassion just means relating to yourself with a kind and forgiving attitude no matter what is happening. When we relate to ourselves with self-compassion, there is no need to put other people down. We aren’t afraid of occasional failures because we can see them as valuable learning opportunities instead of threats to our self-worth.

Motivating ourselves with criticism is all about making ourselves fear failure, which often results in our avoiding challenges that might result in failure. We shrink from our setbacks and challenges because we’re afraid of our inner-critic.

[Kaethe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This may be one of the few "how to simplify your life" books that is not all about cluttering and tidying up. In sharing her own journey to a simple lifestyle, Courtney Carver encourages the reader to consider the "why's" behind a desire for simplicity more than the "how's," and suggests that this journey will be and should different for everyone. She does gives tips and guidelines for pairing down, but not as checklists that, if rigorously followed, will lead to a perfectly organized home and schedule. Rather the suggestions are presented as a series of options to try on and discard or adopt as appropriate. You decide what you want/need less of and discover along the way how that specific less can become more for you and yours. While most books on simplifying do mention effects it might have on the people one lives with (usually in the form of "clutter your stuff and your spouuse/partner/kids/roommates will jump on the simplicity bandwagon), Carver focuses on the relationships themselves and how a journey toward a simpler way of life can positively affect them. I can think of no better reason to get started.

[Sandi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audiobook read by author

Many helpful suggestions. Since she approaches her topic from a humanistic point of view, I took her ideas and placed them in the context of God.

I found her story interesting as the diagnosis of MS put her on a path of simplifying her life creating more time and energy to pursue the things that were meaningful to her.

I got a bit tired of hearing her refer to her heart as a “she.” And there was a lot of talk about listening to your heart and following it. (“Danger Will Robinson!”) That kind of talk is rather popular these days. Nonetheless there was some good thinking in the book, and I’ll probably follow up with the printed version to capture some of her ideas.

[Elissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I started this book, I was really into it. Bite-size chapters? Yes please! But then they started just piling onto one another and it felt like a lot to slog through. Also this is kind of a summary of a lot of other minimalism books (she highlights ideas or pulls out quotes from other authors) which is fine but also you could just read those books. They’re distilled into her personal experience of soulful simplicity.

[Debs · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the beginning of this book but after a while it just turned into your regular everyday self help book with a lot of things I have read before or seen in other books like it

[Katie McT · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kind of want to just immediately read this book again. Felt like a good, deep, conversation with a dear friend. Loved it.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this one and will recommend to everyone! Great practical tips, and also more psychological based questions to ask yourself and guidance from her. Loved!

[Barbara Nutting · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am way too old to benefit from this book, but it caused me to take a quick look back at my life and how I handled some of the obstacles that I encountered. Harry Truman said “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!” Not a bad idea, just move on!

I quit college in my sophomore year to move with my family to Northern California, I got a divorce after 24 years of marriage (2 wonderful children made it worthwhile), walked away from an 8 year relationship that had gone stale, and twice I quit a job on the spot and moved lock, stock and cats across the country (Chicago to California, California to Florida.). I’d say that was getting out of the kitchen!

I always knew something better was waiting as one door closed and the new one opened. Fortunately, I’ve never had a health problem or lacked money (always had a good job) so I couldn’t relate in that area.

I was always a collector, 800 Beanie Babies etc, so the getting rid of stuff did resonate with me. I have gone from a 3200 sq ft home to an 800 sq ft one in the past 30 years - lots of trips to Goodwill. The smaller the space, the more cluttered it becomes, so I now have just the things that I love and that truly make me happy.

It was Emily’s review on this book that got me up and at it again - I’m now on a first name basis at Goodwill. So, even if I’m too old to benefit from the book, I benefited from her review. Excuse me while I carry out another load of stuff to the trunk of my car.

[Laura Leaney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as part inspiration, part preparation, for my intended summer clean-a-thon. I didn't want to read Kondo's book about debating the joyfulness of every object, so I chose Carver's instead. I have to say, as these kinds of books go, it worked. Although I'm not quite prepared, I'm inspired.

I need to feel lighter. Sadly, I know part of the problem. Books. I love them, but keeping them is making me claustrophobic. I think I might have to say bon voyage to my little paper children.

I don't need so much stuff, and my closets (all three of them) are full of things I haven't seen in years. It's hard to believe how much money all this waste adds up to, but I'll take the author's advice and get past the guilt.

This book offers some good techniques on how to get rid of all your accumulated stuff while also attempting to address the why of it. I admit to skimming the latter parts. I'm not a hoarder, and I don't invest objects with deep meaning, so whatever caused my closet-stuffing is probably related to apathy and convenience. I also believe she's right to think that many people shop out of boredom or to fill some of life's emptiness.

[Mandy Lewis · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was good, it just felt a little long. The author shares tips to simplify around food, money, space, and time. Here are my takeaways:

-What to do when someone gets you a gift you do not want? See it as the thoughtful intention it is, accept it with love, and then let it go.
-Sell something if you can sell it for $50 or more, otherwise just give it away
-Linger.
-Remind yourself when getting rid of sentimental things= Your past lives within you no matter what items you part with. Like muscle memory your love stories, heartbreaks, tearful and joyous moments course through your veins, and when you need them most, they are available.
-Nothing will make you feel beautiful, smart, or loved until you already believe you are

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”

“Sometimes you have to get rid of the things that don’t matter to let the things that do rise to the surface.”

“An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several freshly caught fish. The businessman asked the fisherman how long it took to catch them as he admired the fish. The Mexican replied, “Only a few hours each day.” The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish. The Mexican said he had enough to take care of his family. The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?” The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and happy life.” The American scoffed. “I have a business degree and could help you. You should work harder, catch more fish, make more money, and then buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats; eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this little village and move to Mexico City, then LA, and eventually New York City, where you will run your growing business.” The Mexican fisherman asked, “But how long will all this take?” To which the American replied, “Fifteen to twenty years.” “But what then?” asked the Mexican. The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich—you would make millions!” “Millions—then what?” The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

[Ginger Hudock · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Simplicity and most big changes are a matter of the heart.”

Soulful Simplicity is about listening to your own heart to learn what you need. I loved learning more about Courtney and her story in this book. I also resonated with her theme of “listening to your heart”. As many of my readers know, I have been dealing with a congenital heart condition over the past six months. As my atrial septal defect was repaired this month, I have had to listen to what my physical heart needs to fully heal. I am also using this time and this book to listen to what my spiritual heart wants and to be even more intentional in my life.

If you are feeling as if there is too much stuff in your life, yet not enough time or money, then Soulful Simplicity is a perfect book for you. If you enjoy memoirs, then Soulful Simplicity is a great book for you. If, like Courtney in 2006, you are feeling the overwhelm in your life for any reason, then Soulful Simplicity is a must-read for you.

I was provided a complimentary copy of the book, but the opinions expressed in this article are my own.

[Deborah Martinez · Rating 4 out of 5]

As I continue to work on simplifying my life, I came across this author on Pinterest of all places. I really enjoyed the books and tips she shared. For her simplifying started because of being diagnosed with MS.

She shares her journey in this book, and not only gives good tips, but reminds to give yourself grace so you can live abundantly.

Some highlights for me:

Do less - instead of searching for more efficient ways to do it all, do less. Say no, and protect your time for what matters most to you. Work with people who want your best, not your busiest. Stop comparing your lists, your life, and your love.

Lose the guilt, instead of thinking about the opposite of business as laziness, consider that the opposite of a busy life is a full, intentional life.

Boycott busy and be more with less.

We are weary because we do not rest. Weekends have become more about catching up, running errands, and planning for the next week than about resting or enjoying the day.

The one time we actually take a day off is when we are sick. And why are we sick?because we are weary. Our bodies will eventually force rest, but we pay the price inside and out by refusing to be proactive.

I recommend this book, especially if you are trying to simplify how you live.

[Colona Public Library · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great read for someone who is looking to simplify their lives. Courtney Carver explains why she had to simply her life and how she did it. This book was published before the whole "Spark Joy" phenomenon, and pretty much follows the same premise. When you need to buy things to store your stuff, you have too much stuff. This books hits a lot of topics: Courtney personal story of how she went into debt, was diagnosed with MS, and decided to change her life. She stopped buying things she did not need anymore. This is also a self-help book if your life is in autopilot. If you need that extra push to reach your goals/dreams. Start your journey today. If you declutter your life in both the physical and mental ways, you can lead a better life.

There were some amazing quotes in this book that I wanted to share.
-We can't do it all. We are better for it when we don't try to do it all.
- Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do so you can do the things you want to do.
- Nature will remind you that you are enough and that you deserve to find your way back to love.
- I've got you. I honor you. I trust you. I am listening.

~April

[Regina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great Whitman’s Sampler of organizational/minimalist strategies. It took a few chapters to get into the good stuff, but I would recommend it to anyone looking to start a journey to life simplification. While it doesn’t state it in the description, Carver is the originator of the Project 333 fashion challenge, where you only wear 33 items of clothing for 3 months. Seems like every author in the recent decluttering movement is also mentioned, so it also served as a bit of a reminder for me of several approaches to a simpler life that I want to continue.

[Wendy Phraner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good stuff! Reading this cheers me on with my efforts to get rid of needless stuff (tangible or not) and focus on more important things.