Det tager kun en femtedel af et sekund at aktivere de 12 hjerneområder, der hensætter et menneske i en svimlende forelskelsesrus. Men hvad skal der til for at det sker? Hvorfor forelsker vi os i det hele taget? Og hvorfor går kærligheden så ofte i stykker igen?
I denne banebrydende bog kortlægger Jytte Vikkelsøe den romantiske kemis mysterium. Gennem hendes skelsættende arbejde med kriseramte par får vi indsigt i forelskelsens og kærlighedens dynamik.
En række fængslende cases demonstrerer, hvordan og ikke mindst hvorfor kærlighedens indbyggede uoverensstemmelser og konflikter både er forudsætningen for forelskelsen og samtidig ender med at dominere de fleste parforhold – men også, hvordan kærlighedens konflikter markerer et ulevet potentiale, vi sjældent gør os begreb potentialet til at finde tilbage til vores egen inderste kerne og leve livet fuldt og helt.
Jeg syntes der var mange spændende elementer i denne bog, men jeg havde håbet der var nogle redskaber til at finde sin egen parforholds mytiske knude og redskaber til at arbejde med den. Det er altid spændende at udvikle sig sammen. Og det mangler virkelig i denne bog.
Teorien i bogen er okay men ikke helt overbevisende. Det er ikke alle problemer, der har rødder i hvorvidt forældre trøstede et barn tilstrækkeligt. Eksemplerne i bogen, der illustrerer udfordringerne er gode mens eksemplet, der eksemplificerer løsning er mindre god. Bogen opfordrer par til ikke kun at forstå og kunne forklare deres udfordring, men også gå i krig med at løse dem. Bogen skulle overveje at følge eget råd og styrke løsningsdelen. Der er dog elementer i bogen, der er tankevænkende.
Egentligt en lidt mærkelig bog for mig at læse, men jeg har nok mødt en anmeldelse, der gjorde mig interesseret nok til at låne den på biblioteket. Jeg læser jo meget, så hvorfor ikke prøve.
Og min konklusion:
Alt i alt en fin bog, mange gode overvejelser, spændende cases, der understreger, hvor svært det er eller kan være, at være menneske, specielt i mødet med andre.
ren love til denne bog❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ægte selvkærligheds reminder, og virkelig fin afslutning. Blev meget klogere af Jytte og ville ønske jeg boede sammen med Jytte så vi kunne drikke te og spise ostemadder med appelsin marmelade om morgenen❤️❤️❤️Har så meget jeg vil spørge hende om
Jeg var lige ved at give op i første halvdel af bogen, men så formåede Jytte at omvende mig. Bogen er meget baseret på reelle cases, så præmisen kræver på den måde også, at man kan relatere specifikt til de personer, som man læser om. Ved det sidste par, der blev introduceret (typisk...) fandt jeg en baggrund, der resonerede med min egen barndom. Emnet er jo vildt spændende: hvorfor vi er, som vi er; hvordan vi vælger vores partner, hvorfor det så ofte går i koks.
Jeg har været fast lytter at hjerteflimmer for voksne, og her er Jytte jo nærmest moder jord selv, der spreder empati og kærlighed til os dødelige. Denne bog virkede dog til tider lidt lommefilosofisk til mig.
Giver et rigtig godt indblik i de mønstre man taget med ind i et forhold. Giver en mulighed for at udforske hvor og hvordan de er opstået. Syntes der mangler den helt store; og sådan gør du noget ved det og bliver et bedre menneske forløsning. Selv om jeg er godt klar over at den kamp ligger hos en selv kg er individuel.
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Hvis du søger forandring og forløsning i dit liv, så er opskriften i denne bog. En helt fantastisk gennemgang af, hvordan barndommens sår spiller ind i vores relationer i voksenlivet, og hvordan du bryder med dit kondenserede "jeg".
Hun har helt sikkert nogle interessante pointer og observationer, men for mit vedkommende blev det for gentagende og handlede mere om specifikke par med diverse daddy issues end om general forelskelse. Desuden virkede mange af hendes kilder og referencer til at være mindst 20 år gamle ...
3,5⭐️Hvorfor forelsker vi os i dem, vi gør? Det spørgsmål giver Jytte et svar på i denne bog, hvor hun viser, hvordan forelskelse og konflikt hænger uløseligt sammen, og hvordan netop vores mest fastlåste konflikter kan blive nøglen til at forstå både os selv, og de mønstre fra barndommen, vi bringer ind i et forhold.
Jeg synes, det er en meget romantisk tanke, at det netop er i mødet med den anden, vi kan genforenes med vores autentiske selv og slippe fri af vores “indre dæmoner”. At muligheden for denne frigørelse er selve forudsætningen for, at forelskelse overhovedet kan opstå. Men jeg kan ikke helt finde ud af om, jeg køber ind på hendes teori;)
Når det er sagt, så har jeg det normalt lidt svært med non-fiction, men vekslen mellem teori og konkrete eksempler gjorde denne bog overraskende let at komme igennem. Jeg er, og vil altid være, en sucker for kærlighed, og derfor var det også virkelig interessant at læse om de psykologiske mekanismer bag forelskelse.
Jeg endte med at blive lidt investeret i nogle af de par, man følger undervejs, og kom næsten til at læse det som en romance (ups). Derfor var jeg også en smule skuffet over epilogen, som kun i meget begrænset grad fulgte op på, hvordan deres historier endte..
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Jeg synes det er et interessant emne Jytte tager fat på, der desværre bliver formidlet virkelig dårligt. Det bliver en stor rodebunke af personer og udtryk, der bliver lidt sværre at holde styr på. Desuden undrer det mig at de kilder hun citerer hovedsageligt er af ældre dato.
Fin og utrolig vigtig bog, som alle kunne have gavn af at læse - hvis den da bare var bedre skrevet. Jeg synes, den er kringlet, personerne er svære at holde styr på, og så burde den i mine øjne holde sig mere til fakta og droppe billedsprog/mystik/spiritualitet, eller hvad det end er, der mudrer sætningerne og opbygningen til. Det er svært nok virkelig at begribe indholdet, uden at det bliver sovset ind i billeder og begreber, som man først lige skal afkode og oversætte. Jeg savnede bedre, klarere, simplere cases og især meget tydeligere belysning af løsningen på parforholdskrisen.
Konklusion: en af de der magiske "Nåh, det er sådan, verden hænger sammen! Hvorfor er der ingen, der har fortalt mig det noget før?"-bøger, men elendigt formidlet.
Minder mig om parts-terapi og tilknytning-teori, forklaret på en lidt udtyndet måde. Krænker/forløser aspektet er nemt forståeligt. Jeg har dog læst bedre forklarende bøger, men pointen rammer stadig hvor den skal. Der er lidt for mange eksempler for mig, og føler bare jeg lidt læser om noget jeg allerede har forstået.
Måske en rigtig god introduktions bog, dog har jeg personligt fundet en anden vej ind i disse typer af emner, og får desværre følelsen af at jeg får gentaget fænomener allerede bekendt for mig. Blot forklaret på en ny måde. Kan stadig anbefales da den kan hjælpe en med at forstå dynamikker i tidligere eller nuværende parforhold man ikke selv forstår/forstod.
En spændende bog om parforhold. Men som én der har været i forhold med nogen der gaslightede, løj og bedrog mig, så savner jeg et kapitel eller en disclaimer vedrørende den slags situationer. Forfatteren får det til at lyde som om alle parforhold har en chance hvis bare konfronterer den mytiske hårdknude, men det er ikke tilfældet når den ene part er mentalt syg eller misbruger den anden. Hvad jeg dog vil sige er at hendes råd om at være modig og konfrontere sine egne skygger gælder uanset, også (og måske især) hvis man har været i et forhold hvor man er blevet psykisk eller fysisk misbrugt.
Titlen henvender sig til et “du”, men der slutter inklusionen af læseren i praktisk forstand. Bogen beskriver en tilknytningsteori, der er interessant at læse om (ikke mindst i de mange eksempler). Men der mangler et lag, hvor bogen henvender sig til læseren og forklarer lidt nærmere, hvordan alt dette kan være relevant viden i den enkeltes liv, og hvilke tanker, man fx selv kan gøre sig efter at have læst sig igennem bogens påstand om at vi alle har et “sår”, som vi arbejder med og imod.
Super fint koncept og en spændende bog om psykologiens påvirkning på kærlighed. Personligt synes jeg dog, at bogen halter i formuleringen af eksemplerne. Jeg oplever dem som meget specifikke, specielle og svære at relatere til, hvilket gør det svært for mig at nyde bogen helhjertet. Til gengæld er jeg stor fan af Jytte Vikkelsøe og nyder virkelig hendes medvirken i podcasten Hjerteflimmer for voksne, som også behandler kærlighedsemnet på en inspirerende måde.
Spændende bog med en interessant vinkel til forelskelse. Gode og konkrete cases, der var gennemarbejdet. Enig i, at den mangler generelle værktøjer. Hvis man ikke passer ind i de tre parforholdsdynamikker, der præsenteres, kan bogen godt virke mangelfuld ift. værktøjer. Forløser-/krænkeraspektet kan dog appliceres uden problemer bredt.
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Min forventninger var høje til denne bog, da jeg syntes Jytte er så spænde at lytte til i podcasten “hjerteflimmer for voksne”. - de forventninger blev dog ikke opfyldt til det fulde… Jeg følte at bogen gentog sig selv meget i nogle kapitler
Jeg fandt passager i denne bog interessante og informative, men derimellem var der alt for meget repetitivt fyldstof (og endda opsummeringer efter hvert kapitel, velsagtens for at få bogen til at fylde flere sider) - og ind imellem også for meget selvpromovering.
Jeg kunne godt lide bogen og meningen bag, men de sidste 2 par man fulgte var unødvendige, der blev meget gentagelse og den blev langtrukken til sidst. Dog var det en god forklaring og jeg lærte en masse om hjernen og forelskelse
En bog, der inviterer til at blive i rædsomme parforhold, fordi det angiveligt er tegn på, at man har mødt en “mytisk partner”. For ophøjende i at tale ind i inkompatibilitet som grobund for vækst. For mange teoretiske og empiriske fejl.
virkelig god bog. forholdsvis let forstået - og kan læses uden den store psykologiske indsigt. Meget tankevækkende. Giver anledning til selvreflektion.
Jeg kunne godt lide bogen, især ideerne præsenteret i den og teoridelen. Men den mister lige en stjerne pga. eksemplerne af kærestepar, som syntes at være meget simplificerede og lidt for gentagne.
3,5 Lidt for mange gentagelser, opsummeringer af de cases, der bruges. til min smag Men der er bestemt nogle interessante psykologiske betragtninger i bogen.