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Friend Of A Friend . . .: Understanding the Hidden Networks That Can Transform Your Life and Your Career – Research-Based Guidance for Professional Success
What if all the advice we’ve heard about networking is wrong?
What if the best way to grow your network isn’t by introducing yourself to strangers at cocktail parties, handing out business cards, or signing up for the latest online tool, but by developing a better understanding of the existing network that’s already around you?
We know that it’s essential to reach out and build a network. But did you know that it’s actually your distant or former contacts who will be the most helpful to you? Or that many of our best efforts at meeting new people simply serve up the same old opportunities we already have?
In this startling new look at the art and science of networking, business school professor David Burkus digs deep to find the unexpected secrets that reveal the best ways to grow your career.
Based on entertaining case studies and scientific research, this practical and revelatory guide shares what the best networkers really do. Forget the outdated advice you’ve already heard. Learn how to make use of the hidden networks you already have.
What if the best way to grow your network isn’t by introducing yourself to strangers at cocktail parties, handing out business cards, or signing up for the latest online tool, but by developing a better understanding of the existing network that’s already around you?
We know that it’s essential to reach out and build a network. But did you know that it’s actually your distant or former contacts who will be the most helpful to you? Or that many of our best efforts at meeting new people simply serve up the same old opportunities we already have?
In this startling new look at the art and science of networking, business school professor David Burkus digs deep to find the unexpected secrets that reveal the best ways to grow your career.
Based on entertaining case studies and scientific research, this practical and revelatory guide shares what the best networkers really do. Forget the outdated advice you’ve already heard. Learn how to make use of the hidden networks you already have.
256 pages, Hardcover
Published May 1, 2018
340 people are currently reading
1590 people want to read
About the author
David Burkus
7 books90 followersOne of the world’s leading business thinkers, David Burkus’ forward-thinking ideas and bestselling books are helping leaders and teams do their best work ever.
He is the bestselling author of four books about business and leadership. His books have won multiple awards and have been translated into dozens of languages. His insights on leadership and teamwork have been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, USAToday, Fast Company, the Financial Times, Bloomberg BusinessWeek, CNN, the BBC, NPR, and CBS This Morning. Since 2017, Burkus has been ranked as one of the world’s top business thought leaders by Thinkers50. As a sought-after international speaker, his TED Talk has been viewed over 2 million times. He’s worked with leaders from organizations across all industries including Google, Stryker, Fidelity, Viacom, and even the US Naval Academy.
A former business school professor, Burkus holds a master’s degree in organizational psychology from the University of Oklahoma, and a doctorate in strategic leadership from Regent University.
He is the bestselling author of four books about business and leadership. His books have won multiple awards and have been translated into dozens of languages. His insights on leadership and teamwork have been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, USAToday, Fast Company, the Financial Times, Bloomberg BusinessWeek, CNN, the BBC, NPR, and CBS This Morning. Since 2017, Burkus has been ranked as one of the world’s top business thought leaders by Thinkers50. As a sought-after international speaker, his TED Talk has been viewed over 2 million times. He’s worked with leaders from organizations across all industries including Google, Stryker, Fidelity, Viacom, and even the US Naval Academy.
A former business school professor, Burkus holds a master’s degree in organizational psychology from the University of Oklahoma, and a doctorate in strategic leadership from Regent University.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
May 22, 2018
Somewhat useful
Each chapter tells a story, lists examples, and then the end of the chapter summarizes and gives a tactical suggestion. I found a few of those tactical suggestions useful, but generally didn’t find much value in the rest of the book.
So, if you want to read it, I’d just skip all the text and read the summaries at end. Sadly, this felt like another “coulda been a blog post” book. I read it mostly because I’m engaging a lot more in networking, so I still got some value from the points. I could summarize them pretty quickly:
1) Don’t just spend time on existing connections, reconnect with past friends/coworkers as that can yield more opportunities
2) Host a dinner or event as a way of connecting people and allowing some great new ppl into your circle
3) Be intentional about who you spend your time on, how they might help you, etc when it comes to professional connections
4) Use activity-based events (e.g. volunteer event, class) rather than networking-based events as a better way to make connections
Each chapter tells a story, lists examples, and then the end of the chapter summarizes and gives a tactical suggestion. I found a few of those tactical suggestions useful, but generally didn’t find much value in the rest of the book.
So, if you want to read it, I’d just skip all the text and read the summaries at end. Sadly, this felt like another “coulda been a blog post” book. I read it mostly because I’m engaging a lot more in networking, so I still got some value from the points. I could summarize them pretty quickly:
1) Don’t just spend time on existing connections, reconnect with past friends/coworkers as that can yield more opportunities
2) Host a dinner or event as a way of connecting people and allowing some great new ppl into your circle
3) Be intentional about who you spend your time on, how they might help you, etc when it comes to professional connections
4) Use activity-based events (e.g. volunteer event, class) rather than networking-based events as a better way to make connections
June 11, 2018
I received a copy of this story from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
There is some great information here. It takes a lot of research that has been done about networks and how people connect and interact and distills it into easily understood concepts. It gave me different avenues to explore. I particularly appreciate the practical section at the end of every chapter. David Burkus breaks down the ideas in each chapter into actionable steps that will help you understand what you've just read and apply it to your own life. That's where the real value of this book lies, I think.
The reason I didn't give it more stars is that it didn't hold my interest for very long. I found the writing to be dry and a bit dull. I skimmed paragraphs which isn't something I normally do. Networks, systems, and scientific research are not the most captivating subjects and I thought the book could have benefited from a little more.....oomph.
Don't let the number of stars fool you. It's a good book and I took a fair amount of ideas away from it. I'd recommend it to any who:
- works in a field where networking plays an important role
- is looking for a career change
- is curious to learn more about how our interactions affect us
There is some great information here. It takes a lot of research that has been done about networks and how people connect and interact and distills it into easily understood concepts. It gave me different avenues to explore. I particularly appreciate the practical section at the end of every chapter. David Burkus breaks down the ideas in each chapter into actionable steps that will help you understand what you've just read and apply it to your own life. That's where the real value of this book lies, I think.
The reason I didn't give it more stars is that it didn't hold my interest for very long. I found the writing to be dry and a bit dull. I skimmed paragraphs which isn't something I normally do. Networks, systems, and scientific research are not the most captivating subjects and I thought the book could have benefited from a little more.....oomph.
Don't let the number of stars fool you. It's a good book and I took a fair amount of ideas away from it. I'd recommend it to any who:
- works in a field where networking plays an important role
- is looking for a career change
- is curious to learn more about how our interactions affect us
July 25, 2018
I have a general rule that when I'm skimming through significant portions of a book, it's probably a two star book. It focuses mostly on in-career, rather than pre-career networking, and is also heavily skewed toward private industry. Each chapter is based on a nugget of research about human networks, but is fleshed out with two or three semi-related anecdotes. Some of these are better written and more necessary than others.
To its credit, the book makes a conscious effort to discount the self-serving or ends-focused element often associated with networking. The focus is more on building up existing connections, rather than seeking out connections that can work to your professional benefit, mercenary style. Some suggestions are legitimate and worth revisiting, but it is definitely a handbook-length idea that's extended to book length.
To its credit, the book makes a conscious effort to discount the self-serving or ends-focused element often associated with networking. The focus is more on building up existing connections, rather than seeking out connections that can work to your professional benefit, mercenary style. Some suggestions are legitimate and worth revisiting, but it is definitely a handbook-length idea that's extended to book length.
December 27, 2019
On the 6th of May, 1973, in a paper curiously and paradoxically titled, “The Strength of Weak Ties”, American sociologist and Professor at Stanford University, Mark Granovetter revealed the proposition that acquaintances are likely to be more influential than close friends, particularly in social networks. Weak ties as he called them, were more likely to connect social networks and also act as bridges. This research paper did more than just pique the interest of its readers or merely arouse their curiosity. As of November 2018, according to Google Scholar, “The Strength of Weak Ties” boasts a jaw dropping 50,000 citations, making it the most cited work in the Social Sciences.
So what exactly are these weak ties and how best can we exploit them to further both our personal and professional prospects? Is there an overlap between personal and professional ties? These are some of the key questions which David Burkus grapples with in his extremely readable, evocative and essential book, “Friend of a Friend of a Friend….” (“the book”).
The term ‘networking’ ought to be a contender for one of the most used, and perhaps – abused words in the English vocabulary. Networking has been the subject of a million books and a billion pages all urging their readers to follow stereotypical paths ranging from the pedantic to the preposterous. However, as Mr. Burkus points out, more often than not, this “working the room” strategy leaves people with more than just a sour taste in their mouth. “In one study researchers Tiziana Casciaro, Francesca Gino and Maryam Koucchaki found that even just thinking about networking leaves most people feeling dirty.” Instead, citing the extraordinary examples of ‘super-connected’ personalities such as the entrepreneur Adam Rifkin, philanthropist Scott Harrison and producer Brian Grazer, Mr. Burkus says, “understanding how networks work, how to navigate them, and how to tend to the community they represent is what determines a lot of your career success and a lot of organisation’s ability to perform. Knowing who your friends are and who their friends are, so you can gain a better understanding of the community, will lead to better odds that your network will enhance your success.”
From this stems what reads like a most counter intuitive proposition which Mr. Burkus offers his readers. Even though our spontaneous reaction might be to reach out to the people with whom we are closest to and with whom we have been interacting for decades, it might be more valuable to reach out to those with whom we have rarely connected for years or even decades. Why? The people we know best usually know the same people and also know what you know. “Our weak ties often build a bridge from one cluster to another and thus give us access to new information. Even though the strong ties in our life are more likely to be motivated to help us, it turns out that our weak ties’ access to new sources of information might be more valuable.”
The most fascinating aspect of this ‘antithetical’ or even heretical work is the plethora of real life examples embedded between its covers. Burkus embarks on an assiduous story telling saga as he brings together personalities and events spanning a variety of disciplines. From how Michelle McKenna-Doyle, SVP, and CIO of the NFL became – the SVP and CIO of the NFL to how the prolific movie producer Brian Grazer tapped into his weak ties to become the man who gave the world, indelible movies such as Apollo 13, Liar Liar, A Beautiful Mind, and 8 Mile, Mr. Burkus highlights the importance of striking conversations with people with whom one may have hardly interacted.
Every Chapter in the book ends with a pragmatic “From Science to Practice” summary where he highlights key tasks for his readers to strengthen and build upon their weak ties. He also provides links to online resources for honing and practicing the skills required to improve upon building up one’s weak ties.
One would do well to push aside the tried and tested Rolodex and instead pick up “Friend of a Friend” by Davis Burkus instead. When did you say was the last time that you interacted with the buddy with whom you shared your dorm room while at the University?
So what exactly are these weak ties and how best can we exploit them to further both our personal and professional prospects? Is there an overlap between personal and professional ties? These are some of the key questions which David Burkus grapples with in his extremely readable, evocative and essential book, “Friend of a Friend of a Friend….” (“the book”).
The term ‘networking’ ought to be a contender for one of the most used, and perhaps – abused words in the English vocabulary. Networking has been the subject of a million books and a billion pages all urging their readers to follow stereotypical paths ranging from the pedantic to the preposterous. However, as Mr. Burkus points out, more often than not, this “working the room” strategy leaves people with more than just a sour taste in their mouth. “In one study researchers Tiziana Casciaro, Francesca Gino and Maryam Koucchaki found that even just thinking about networking leaves most people feeling dirty.” Instead, citing the extraordinary examples of ‘super-connected’ personalities such as the entrepreneur Adam Rifkin, philanthropist Scott Harrison and producer Brian Grazer, Mr. Burkus says, “understanding how networks work, how to navigate them, and how to tend to the community they represent is what determines a lot of your career success and a lot of organisation’s ability to perform. Knowing who your friends are and who their friends are, so you can gain a better understanding of the community, will lead to better odds that your network will enhance your success.”
From this stems what reads like a most counter intuitive proposition which Mr. Burkus offers his readers. Even though our spontaneous reaction might be to reach out to the people with whom we are closest to and with whom we have been interacting for decades, it might be more valuable to reach out to those with whom we have rarely connected for years or even decades. Why? The people we know best usually know the same people and also know what you know. “Our weak ties often build a bridge from one cluster to another and thus give us access to new information. Even though the strong ties in our life are more likely to be motivated to help us, it turns out that our weak ties’ access to new sources of information might be more valuable.”
The most fascinating aspect of this ‘antithetical’ or even heretical work is the plethora of real life examples embedded between its covers. Burkus embarks on an assiduous story telling saga as he brings together personalities and events spanning a variety of disciplines. From how Michelle McKenna-Doyle, SVP, and CIO of the NFL became – the SVP and CIO of the NFL to how the prolific movie producer Brian Grazer tapped into his weak ties to become the man who gave the world, indelible movies such as Apollo 13, Liar Liar, A Beautiful Mind, and 8 Mile, Mr. Burkus highlights the importance of striking conversations with people with whom one may have hardly interacted.
Every Chapter in the book ends with a pragmatic “From Science to Practice” summary where he highlights key tasks for his readers to strengthen and build upon their weak ties. He also provides links to online resources for honing and practicing the skills required to improve upon building up one’s weak ties.
One would do well to push aside the tried and tested Rolodex and instead pick up “Friend of a Friend” by Davis Burkus instead. When did you say was the last time that you interacted with the buddy with whom you shared your dorm room while at the University?
May 10, 2023
Ever wondered why Jim Bob received a promotion over Larry, who’s been diligently climbing the ladder for a decade? Or maybe you’ve questioned how that mediocre movie got produced while your talented cousin (the one living in your garage) struggles to make headway with her brilliant screenplay? Friend of a Friend by David Burkus provides insights to those questions and then some.
Grounded in research, Friend of a Friend dispels common networking myths and reveals surprising findings that may initially appear counterintuitive. You’ll not only gain a deeper understanding of how networks truly function, but learn to harness the power of your own connections to achieve your goals.
As a frequent reader of self-improvement books, I’ve promised you all to only recommend the stand-outs. This is definitely one of those! While this book started slowly, its later chapters blew my mind. Many self-improvement books are repetitive, merely rephrasing the same ideas, but Friend of a Friend felt like a missing piece to understanding why some people are more successful than others. Also, I absolutely loved the stories and research Burkus used to back up the findings.
Grounded in research, Friend of a Friend dispels common networking myths and reveals surprising findings that may initially appear counterintuitive. You’ll not only gain a deeper understanding of how networks truly function, but learn to harness the power of your own connections to achieve your goals.
As a frequent reader of self-improvement books, I’ve promised you all to only recommend the stand-outs. This is definitely one of those! While this book started slowly, its later chapters blew my mind. Many self-improvement books are repetitive, merely rephrasing the same ideas, but Friend of a Friend felt like a missing piece to understanding why some people are more successful than others. Also, I absolutely loved the stories and research Burkus used to back up the findings.
June 29, 2018
I found the chapters about weak ties, relationship "brokering," and multiplex relationships challenged some assumptions I had about networks in useful ways. Still, the books is uneven and a bit low on substance.
May 18, 2019
Mixture of psych studies and loosely related anecdotes of successful people.
Read
November 3, 2018Interesting observations about networking:
* Strong social ties (close friends) are good, but weak social ties are sometime even more useful as they help you find a job and promotes innovation. When you go to social gatherings, try talk to unfamiliar people.
* If you are widely connected to other people, you get a snowball effect as more people will come knocking at your door.
* The average number of connection in some circle is often dominated by Super-Connectors (outliers). Tim Ferriss became one following a strategy: He would find out his target audience’s popular websites; go to conferences attended by the owners of the websites; get mentioned by them; and soon became a super-connector himself.
* People do cluster with people like them. To make your social circles work, you should intentionally find diversity.
* Social mixers are not the best way to build bonds. Shared activities are. A behavior scientist put this into practice by having dinner parties where guests are put into teams without disclosing their identities; they would prepare the meal together and play games after dinner in which they guess the identity of each diner in turn. His parties have been a huge success, fostering collaborative projects afterwards.
* Strong social ties (close friends) are good, but weak social ties are sometime even more useful as they help you find a job and promotes innovation. When you go to social gatherings, try talk to unfamiliar people.
* If you are widely connected to other people, you get a snowball effect as more people will come knocking at your door.
* The average number of connection in some circle is often dominated by Super-Connectors (outliers). Tim Ferriss became one following a strategy: He would find out his target audience’s popular websites; go to conferences attended by the owners of the websites; get mentioned by them; and soon became a super-connector himself.
* People do cluster with people like them. To make your social circles work, you should intentionally find diversity.
* Social mixers are not the best way to build bonds. Shared activities are. A behavior scientist put this into practice by having dinner parties where guests are put into teams without disclosing their identities; they would prepare the meal together and play games after dinner in which they guess the identity of each diner in turn. His parties have been a huge success, fostering collaborative projects afterwards.
October 19, 2019
There is useful social science in this book, so it's probably worth a read. But, the book says in its introduction, "All advice is autobiographical... As well meaning, inspirational, and accurate as another person's autobiography might be, it's still one person, with one specific set of skills, one personality, in one specific location, at one specific time. So what if you're not that person... Would it still work for you?" Which is true, and sounded encouraging. But then it says 4 pages later, "I won't be sharing anecdotal advice from stereotypical networkers; instead, we will examine real case studies of people..."
Uh, I hate to break it to you, case studies are autobiographical and anecdotal. And, only 1 of the 11 chapters started with a success story from a woman (a few other women are in secondary examples within chapters). And the book spent a lot of time talking about Facebook, Microsoft, Warren Buffet, Pixar, PayPal... not exactly the kinds of case studies that I can really relate to, even if there was a kernel of social science to be had from the stories. And, they each went on for several pages of each chapter. I learned some things from this book, but spent a lot of reading time being bored and annoyed before getting to the useful bits.
Uh, I hate to break it to you, case studies are autobiographical and anecdotal. And, only 1 of the 11 chapters started with a success story from a woman (a few other women are in secondary examples within chapters). And the book spent a lot of time talking about Facebook, Microsoft, Warren Buffet, Pixar, PayPal... not exactly the kinds of case studies that I can really relate to, even if there was a kernel of social science to be had from the stories. And, they each went on for several pages of each chapter. I learned some things from this book, but spent a lot of reading time being bored and annoyed before getting to the useful bits.
January 21, 2019
Very good book! Your friend of a friend is your future!
October 26, 2019
Dormant ties:
"'We originally thought that usefulness would drop off as people went down their list' the researchers wrote ' but the data did not show that. Instead the value of the advice tended to be consistent no matter what the executives' preconceived notions were.' This suggests that the benefits of dormant ties have more to do with the dormancy of the ties themselves than with the perceived expertise. The research on dormant ties reveals 3 main reasons for their strength. first, like weak ties, dormant ties can hold a wealth of new, different, and unexpected insights. Just because we have lost touch with someone doesn't mean that person has become extinct. Instead our dormant ties are still around and interacting with other social circles and having new experiences. Second, reaching out to dormant ties specifically for advice is efficient. The contact with them is often much quicker than conversations with current colleagues who might be collaborating on multiple projects. And third, because many dormant ties, unlike weak ties were once stronger relationships, their trust and motivation to help are much stronger than is true for current weak ties."
"The weaker dormant ties gave much better advice when reactivated, but those were also the exact type of dormant ties that most executives preferred to avoid."
Shared activities are better than networking events.
"Research suggests that our time is better spent seeking out activities with a shared purpose that evokes passion or emotion or requires interdependence and has something at stake. These shared activities draw a more diverse group of people and create stronger bonds among participants.... 1) community service 2) sports leagues, martial arts or hobby clubs 3) non-profit boards or committees 4) at work special projects teams 5) ..faith based groups"
Multiplex ties:
"The more types of connections there are between two individuals, the higher the multiplexity, the more trust tends to develop in the relationship."
"It is more likely that personal will become business than that business will become personal."
"Multiplex relationships also triggered a higher rate of emotional exhaustion. Keeping up with more and deeper relationships can be tough. While the emotional toll itself decreased performance - the positive gains that came from having a coworker that is also a friend more than outweighed the negatives."
"Relations that combine formals as well as informal aspects into a single relations between rwo person have a genuinely distant and significantly positive effect on innovative knowledge transfer within organizations."
choose people carefully - you're impacted by up to 3 degrees of network.
https://davidburkus.com/resources/
"'We originally thought that usefulness would drop off as people went down their list' the researchers wrote ' but the data did not show that. Instead the value of the advice tended to be consistent no matter what the executives' preconceived notions were.' This suggests that the benefits of dormant ties have more to do with the dormancy of the ties themselves than with the perceived expertise. The research on dormant ties reveals 3 main reasons for their strength. first, like weak ties, dormant ties can hold a wealth of new, different, and unexpected insights. Just because we have lost touch with someone doesn't mean that person has become extinct. Instead our dormant ties are still around and interacting with other social circles and having new experiences. Second, reaching out to dormant ties specifically for advice is efficient. The contact with them is often much quicker than conversations with current colleagues who might be collaborating on multiple projects. And third, because many dormant ties, unlike weak ties were once stronger relationships, their trust and motivation to help are much stronger than is true for current weak ties."
"The weaker dormant ties gave much better advice when reactivated, but those were also the exact type of dormant ties that most executives preferred to avoid."
Shared activities are better than networking events.
"Research suggests that our time is better spent seeking out activities with a shared purpose that evokes passion or emotion or requires interdependence and has something at stake. These shared activities draw a more diverse group of people and create stronger bonds among participants.... 1) community service 2) sports leagues, martial arts or hobby clubs 3) non-profit boards or committees 4) at work special projects teams 5) ..faith based groups"
Multiplex ties:
"The more types of connections there are between two individuals, the higher the multiplexity, the more trust tends to develop in the relationship."
"It is more likely that personal will become business than that business will become personal."
"Multiplex relationships also triggered a higher rate of emotional exhaustion. Keeping up with more and deeper relationships can be tough. While the emotional toll itself decreased performance - the positive gains that came from having a coworker that is also a friend more than outweighed the negatives."
"Relations that combine formals as well as informal aspects into a single relations between rwo person have a genuinely distant and significantly positive effect on innovative knowledge transfer within organizations."
choose people carefully - you're impacted by up to 3 degrees of network.
https://davidburkus.com/resources/
May 1, 2018
Is this really what the best networkers do? Perhaps so, the author certainly lives up to his promise of outlining a strategic approach to networking and then lists activities in order to help you along your way.
There are many, many aspects to networking outlined in this book. It is indeed a deep dive. You can explore clusters, silos, as well as the power of influence, to mention a few. Some aspects will be familiar but I would be surprised if you didn’t discover a new idea, or perhaps scientific evidence for something that felt right but others challenged. For me, it was “multiplexity.” As an entrepreneur in a relatively small business community in South Africa, comprising many small and medium, privately-owned businesses, the recognition of holistic relationships and their value in business is one I value. Colleagues and clients have become friends and visa versa. The author uses the terms “multiplexity” to describe this. It was therefore extremely rewarding to read that the mixing of personal and business relationships not only boosts personal performance but also enhances the innovation and knowledge-sharing inside of an organisation. It certainly echoes my experience!
I also loved this line, “Your network is influencing you, and so you better begin influencing your network.” Isn’t that just food for thought? It certainly encourages me to pay more attention and to be more proactive in my approach.
It is evident that Burkus digs deep, with many stories and references to research that support his arguments. At times, for me, it felt like they were a little too detailed or perhaps, a little too long. But I am sure for others, they will thrive on this detail, and they will appreciate the author's efforts to be thorough.
It was good to read that successful networking isn’t about collecting contacts, manipulating relationships or insincerity, rather it requires forethought and effort, that you are sure to find an action you can take, today, to be more effective at this very important skill.
With thanks to the author and Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for the advance copy. It was such a privilege to read this book.
There are many, many aspects to networking outlined in this book. It is indeed a deep dive. You can explore clusters, silos, as well as the power of influence, to mention a few. Some aspects will be familiar but I would be surprised if you didn’t discover a new idea, or perhaps scientific evidence for something that felt right but others challenged. For me, it was “multiplexity.” As an entrepreneur in a relatively small business community in South Africa, comprising many small and medium, privately-owned businesses, the recognition of holistic relationships and their value in business is one I value. Colleagues and clients have become friends and visa versa. The author uses the terms “multiplexity” to describe this. It was therefore extremely rewarding to read that the mixing of personal and business relationships not only boosts personal performance but also enhances the innovation and knowledge-sharing inside of an organisation. It certainly echoes my experience!
I also loved this line, “Your network is influencing you, and so you better begin influencing your network.” Isn’t that just food for thought? It certainly encourages me to pay more attention and to be more proactive in my approach.
It is evident that Burkus digs deep, with many stories and references to research that support his arguments. At times, for me, it felt like they were a little too detailed or perhaps, a little too long. But I am sure for others, they will thrive on this detail, and they will appreciate the author's efforts to be thorough.
It was good to read that successful networking isn’t about collecting contacts, manipulating relationships or insincerity, rather it requires forethought and effort, that you are sure to find an action you can take, today, to be more effective at this very important skill.
With thanks to the author and Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for the advance copy. It was such a privilege to read this book.
January 25, 2024
HIGHLIGHTS:
1. DORMANT TIES:
- reaching out to old friends.
2. SMALL WORLD EFFECT:
- stay connected to former colleagues.
3. COLLABORATION:
- Best collaborations are temporary.
4. MAJORITY ILLUSION:
- multiple connections make an introduction.
- Appears popular (eg Facebook and Tim Ferris).
5. DIVERSIFY:
- Diversify cluster of contacts by making one connection in a different group (liaison).
- Opens up exposure to more people.
6. NETWORK AUDIT:
- We need our network to give us different perspectives.
- We need different types of people in our networks.
- Do a network audit (25 ppl from call log).
7. NETWORK EVENT:
- The best networking events have nothing to do with networking.
- Focus on task to get to know each other.
- We tend to only connect with people we know.
8. WORK TOGETHER:
- Working together (project or task) helps build a network.
9. SELF-SIMILARITY:
- conforms and consistency.
10. SHARED ACTIVITIES:
- Shared activities helps drop prescribed roles (nonprofit boards or community project).
1. DORMANT TIES:
- reaching out to old friends.
2. SMALL WORLD EFFECT:
- stay connected to former colleagues.
3. COLLABORATION:
- Best collaborations are temporary.
4. MAJORITY ILLUSION:
- multiple connections make an introduction.
- Appears popular (eg Facebook and Tim Ferris).
5. DIVERSIFY:
- Diversify cluster of contacts by making one connection in a different group (liaison).
- Opens up exposure to more people.
6. NETWORK AUDIT:
- We need our network to give us different perspectives.
- We need different types of people in our networks.
- Do a network audit (25 ppl from call log).
7. NETWORK EVENT:
- The best networking events have nothing to do with networking.
- Focus on task to get to know each other.
- We tend to only connect with people we know.
8. WORK TOGETHER:
- Working together (project or task) helps build a network.
9. SELF-SIMILARITY:
- conforms and consistency.
10. SHARED ACTIVITIES:
- Shared activities helps drop prescribed roles (nonprofit boards or community project).
November 24, 2018
I have followed David for a while now and was glad to see he wrote a book about connecting. Check out his TEDx Talk. I attended a summit where he spoke and was impressed with the advice he gave on connections, this book backs up what he’s been saying for a while now. I especially appreciate his examples of how diverse friendships lead to disruptive innovation he gives several great examples. I also greatly appreciate the science to practice. Burkus gives us tools to increase our connections and friendships, there’s a lot of actionable material throughout the book. And good examples of how people have used this actionable material successfully. I specially like the Pixar example of Pixar University and plan to approach my company about a similar approach. I would highly recommend this book to anyone that is looking to increase their connections and how to use them.
August 13, 2018
"If our network doesn't think that differently from us, then we won't be pushed to expand our thinking or to question our reasoning."
This book was around 3.5 stars for me.
It has some interesting insights about networking and what makes it efficient. This book points out how "loose connections" are often most helpful when job searching and how a diverse group of thinkers can help come up with better ideas.
It also dismisses the idea that networking events are helpful, which I appreciate, since people tend to talk to people they already know and why that isn't always a good use of your time. This book is an informative read.
This book was around 3.5 stars for me.
It has some interesting insights about networking and what makes it efficient. This book points out how "loose connections" are often most helpful when job searching and how a diverse group of thinkers can help come up with better ideas.
It also dismisses the idea that networking events are helpful, which I appreciate, since people tend to talk to people they already know and why that isn't always a good use of your time. This book is an informative read.
November 7, 2018
The reality of human networks - How to navigate, create & use them!
By far the best I have read about networks. It is really raw and to the point. The author offers the main ideas and then offers you free resources to be able to execute accordingly.
KEY Takeaways:
1- Why people cluster or hang out together
2- How to create influential networks
3- How to be everywhere and omnipresent
4- Reality of us being connected (6th degree of connection)
5- How our friends influence us and we influence them
6- Business first friendship follows or vice versa (teaser alert)?
By far the best I have read about networks. It is really raw and to the point. The author offers the main ideas and then offers you free resources to be able to execute accordingly.
KEY Takeaways:
1- Why people cluster or hang out together
2- How to create influential networks
3- How to be everywhere and omnipresent
4- Reality of us being connected (6th degree of connection)
5- How our friends influence us and we influence them
6- Business first friendship follows or vice versa (teaser alert)?
November 15, 2018
Best book on networks of relationships I've read. It's not tips and techniques to use at a party or methods to spam people to joining your newsletter. It's about how the huge untapped potential that lies in your real relationships--the friends of your friends. It's both insightful and practical. If broad influence something you want to maximize, then this is a book worth reading.
February 11, 2019
Popularized presentation of some of the basics of network science: power of weak connections, importance of either being a connector or connecting with a connector. Business how to including online exercises and suggestions: taking networking to a different level. Appreciated the real world application of the theory. DPL book. 650.13 B
January 31, 2020
Another well written book by Professor Burkus. He highlights the many different yet interwoven elements of our networks in an easy to read format. His research is presented in an easy to understand format with different nuances the leads one to want to dig deeper and grow their own network in a very deliberate manner. Well worth the tome investment in reading.
May 13, 2018
Excellent book on the science of networks. Rather than offering trite, cookie-cutter tips on how to meet people at mixers, Burkus really dives into how networks work and how to leverage and grow them organically. Highly recommend; especially for young professionals.
July 10, 2018
It’s nit networking it relationship building
Friend of a friend nailed it. Don’t settle for a rote book on networking. This book explains how to build long term sustainable relationships that benefit both people. Loved it
Friend of a friend nailed it. Don’t settle for a rote book on networking. This book explains how to build long term sustainable relationships that benefit both people. Loved it
December 26, 2018
I agree with others on the “readability” of this book. What I love is the collection of wisdom around how influence really happens. This book is about that, how personality types work in it, and how to be prepared to influence. Fascinating and one of the most insightful books I’ve read.
February 18, 2019
Refreshing perspective on an old subject.
I had a couple of “ah-ha” moments while reading this book. Partly because the anecdotes and research are followed by segments on how to put theory into practice. It was also an enjoyable read.
I had a couple of “ah-ha” moments while reading this book. Partly because the anecdotes and research are followed by segments on how to put theory into practice. It was also an enjoyable read.
September 10, 2023
This book is about creating, maintaining and extending friendships.
The idea that we can have many dormant relationships that we can call on our rebuild is great information. There is a lot of food for thought here.
The idea that we can have many dormant relationships that we can call on our rebuild is great information. There is a lot of food for thought here.
May 28, 2018
Heard the author interviewed on Art of Manliness, very practical advice on networking which has some practical application in normal relationships.
May 29, 2018
An easy read with good references. Some of the research I knew already, but I found some specific and valuable advice.
June 30, 2018
A good tour of network science with useful insights. The research notes in the back of the book are alone worth four stars.
August 31, 2018
This was actually quite enlightening.
October 30, 2018
Wasn't sure I would get much out of this, however I was very impressed with just how valuable Burkus' book was. Very useful and applicable information. Forever changed how I view my network.
December 1, 2018
An absolutely excellent book on how to successfully network!
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