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ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES: 47 Asexual Stories: LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACElebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY
In broad terms Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, but what does this actually mean for those who identify with this sexual orientation? And what do asexuals really think of love, life and sex? Whilst all asexuals have one thing in common - the lack of sexual attraction towards a specific person, we are all different in our likes, needs, wants and dislikes. This can make fitting into the asexual spectrum and finding a suitable relationship difficult. Right now, there are a number of myths about asexuality and stereotypes - even within the asexual community, about what asexuals do and do not like, should and should not do, and these need to be addressed and broken through! If you identify as asexual do you - Struggle to have a voice in this sexualized world? Feel alone? Misunderstood? Misplaced? Broken? Left out? Not recognised? Have no one to relate to? Find it difficult to find others like you? Feel like everyone is speaking a foreign language where sex is concerned? Or are you unsure of your identity and sometimes get confused and you want to know what asexuals really think of Love, Life and Sex, and what experiences they have had or are having; and how they manage their relationships? If so, then look no further than this book. In this book you will discover asexuals who feel just like you. In this book I will reveal my own asexual perspective and personal story as well as perspectives from 46 asexuals around the globe; dispelling myths and breaking stereotypes; sharing their own personal journey to help you in yours and with a surprising over-riding message! In this book you will: -Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more. -Uncover Asexuals' deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual. -Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world! -Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal. -Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks. -Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in. -Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids. -Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not. -Uncover the positives about being asexual. -Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual. I feel truly blessed that all interviewees have been willing to open up and share their most intimate moments, thoughts, feelings and emotions with you. What you are about to read is unique, amazing, interesting, sometimes candidly humorous, fascinating and insightful. This is their story, now it's their time to tell it. If you have resonated with any of these points and you want to know more, please invest in this book and scroll up and add to cart! Heteroromantic, Author Sandra Bellamy is the founder of www.asexualise.com, with products, resources and services for asexuals. She sees herself as an ambassador for asexuality and is on a mission to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. By purchasing this book you will gain a deeper understanding of this often misunderstood sexual orientation and help to spread awareness of asexuality at the same time. We may be small in numbers, but we can still make a huge difference to the world at large and celebrate our diversity.
- GenresNonfictionQueerLGBT
560 pages, Paperback
Published June 28, 2017
11 people are currently reading
105 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
August 26, 2018
This book is literally just a set of interviews with folks who find themselves somewhere on the "ACE" spectrum.
This earns 5 stars from me just due to the fact there are MANY times I'd read someone's answer and promptly respond with "YES! ME TOO!".
I was personally very comforted from reading this. There are quite a few people who mentioned in their answers to questions that they still have never met an ACE in person. That's me! So others like me need books like this to fill that certain void.
Thank you so much Sandra Bellamy for assembling this!
This earns 5 stars from me just due to the fact there are MANY times I'd read someone's answer and promptly respond with "YES! ME TOO!".
I was personally very comforted from reading this. There are quite a few people who mentioned in their answers to questions that they still have never met an ACE in person. That's me! So others like me need books like this to fill that certain void.
Thank you so much Sandra Bellamy for assembling this!
November 3, 2018
Being asexual myself and keenly aware of the lack of asexual representation in the world...I really wanted to like this book. Unfortunately, it has precisely two merits:
One, the author has gone and done the "interviews" for you, saving you the work of personally hunting down this rare breed. "Interviews" - because this book is really just a compilation of responses to a fixed questionnaire, with no follow-up questions. Thankfully, most of the responses are far better written than the introduction, which was painful to read.
Two, the author acknowledges in the introduction the existence of infighting and gatekeeping within the asexual community, and encourages the reader to pay these no mind. This is a message that, I think, is particularly important to readers just discovering that a world exists outside the heterosexual, heteroromantic boxes drawn around us by society.
One, the author has gone and done the "interviews" for you, saving you the work of personally hunting down this rare breed. "Interviews" - because this book is really just a compilation of responses to a fixed questionnaire, with no follow-up questions. Thankfully, most of the responses are far better written than the introduction, which was painful to read.
Two, the author acknowledges in the introduction the existence of infighting and gatekeeping within the asexual community, and encourages the reader to pay these no mind. This is a message that, I think, is particularly important to readers just discovering that a world exists outside the heterosexual, heteroromantic boxes drawn around us by society.
March 3, 2022
All of the interviews included in the book were interesting and insightful. However, the author's own contributions (Bellamy's interview, as well as the introduction and conclusion) were difficult to get through. I actually ended up skipping through a lot of it. Those portions needed editing - especially the conclusion, which seemed less about asexuality and more about the author trying to get a date.
July 11, 2017
I recently finished book “Asexual Perspectives, 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity! By Sandra Bellamy I simply loved the inspirational quote in the beginning of book“Why spend time trying to fit in? When you are beautiful just as you are!”.This book Dispels myths about asexuality and, attempt to break stereotypes associated with asexuality as an orientation, intriguing idea is mentioned in chapter one which is basically motivational in nature i.e. how to turn pain into gain".
Another interesting thing in the book is about diversity within asexual spectrum “Our diversity should be embraced and celebrated, not be treated with discrimination. We need to better understand and appreciate each other’s identities, in order to be accepted for our own and this book will surely help the readers to embrace their identity & orientation. Interesting questions are raised by the author and each respondent’s response is reflection of their personal experience for instance One Respondent discussed that women are treated like property and their due status is not given in the institution of marriage .The main fear discussed by the asexual was the fear of being alone forever.
“My deepest fear about being asexual is that I will never find a solid lifelong partnership. In a world obsessed with sex, I’m an oddball. There aren’t a lot of us out here” (Adair Gairhart,s story )
Another interesting factor was discussed in book which i find is relevent to most of the aces.
“I can live without it (sex) and prefer to. It really has no place in my life”(Marine’s story)
It really made me upset to read Waywalker,s story because it deals with dilemma that stigma is attached with asexuality “Believe it or not, my family would feel humiliated if I were public. Sigh.”.In the end I really like how author has encouraged all aces to stay strong in following words “Stay Ace and Acesome”
Another interesting thing in the book is about diversity within asexual spectrum “Our diversity should be embraced and celebrated, not be treated with discrimination. We need to better understand and appreciate each other’s identities, in order to be accepted for our own and this book will surely help the readers to embrace their identity & orientation. Interesting questions are raised by the author and each respondent’s response is reflection of their personal experience for instance One Respondent discussed that women are treated like property and their due status is not given in the institution of marriage .The main fear discussed by the asexual was the fear of being alone forever.
“My deepest fear about being asexual is that I will never find a solid lifelong partnership. In a world obsessed with sex, I’m an oddball. There aren’t a lot of us out here” (Adair Gairhart,s story )
Another interesting factor was discussed in book which i find is relevent to most of the aces.
“I can live without it (sex) and prefer to. It really has no place in my life”(Marine’s story)
It really made me upset to read Waywalker,s story because it deals with dilemma that stigma is attached with asexuality “Believe it or not, my family would feel humiliated if I were public. Sigh.”.In the end I really like how author has encouraged all aces to stay strong in following words “Stay Ace and Acesome”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 6, 2018
This book needs an E X T R E M E L Y heavy handed editor. The parts that are unclear (the intro, the literal beginning of this book, for example) take so much actual effort to untangle and reread for clarity, that you kind of want to pick up something else entirely.
However, now that there's at least one book about a part of the Ace experience, hopefully more can follow.
The book sheds light on an often overlooked group of people, and that's a great thing. Representation is important. This book is very hard to get through though, which is a shame.
However, now that there's at least one book about a part of the Ace experience, hopefully more can follow.
The book sheds light on an often overlooked group of people, and that's a great thing. Representation is important. This book is very hard to get through though, which is a shame.
November 1, 2019
This consists mainly of answers to the same survey questions. I think it'd be a better read if written as personal essays rather than survey answers. But it does show diversity in ace perspectives and lifestyles.
February 2, 2020
For the most part I liked the interviews, its a standard set of questions with no follow ups but most peope expanded on stuff themselves but I struggled with the introduction, conclsion and the authors own interview. It really needed a good editor
August 25, 2017
I love that there's more books about asexuality being written, but I don't really like the execution of this book. Unfortunately.
November 4, 2019
I read this just to get a understanding of how this could help me help a young woman with some mental health issues. No I'm not saying that being asexual is wrong far from it, it's the thought process is a hair different. The young woman is actually my daughter. This book described her attitude toward sex and life. As a matter of fact. I recommend this book to her.
June 3, 2022
I agree with some of the other comments.
Heavy, clunky intro, needs editing and thankfully there are many more books on this subject, all of a higher standard.
Heavy, clunky intro, needs editing and thankfully there are many more books on this subject, all of a higher standard.
April 27, 2020
Dit boek is bedoeld om te tonen dat er net zoveel perspectieven op aseksualiteit zijn als dat er aseksuelen zijn. Sandra Bellamy stelde dezelfde 20 vragen aan 46 aseksuelen en beantwoordt aan het eind van het boek de vragen zelf.
De vragen zijn soms erg interessant ("Hoe ontdekte je dat je aseksueel was?") en soms niet altijd even gemakkelijk te begrijpen ("is er een verschil voor jou tussen seksuele opwinding en seksueel verlangen?"), en 47 keer antwoorden lezen op dezelfde vragen is na een tijd wel enorm saai. Ik had na vijf interviews wel door dat er veel verschillende soorten mensen, met zoveel verschillende perspectieven, zoveel verschillende achtergronden en zoveel verschillende opvattingen over liefde en seks zijn. De schrijfster geeft aan dat ze zoveel mensen aan het woord liet om iedere lezer herkenning te bieden.
Misschien dat het boek interessanter is als je om de zoveel tijd één interview leest. Omdat ikzelf het boek in één week wilde uitlezen, wat dus niet is aan te raden, hield ik er mijn aandacht niet bij en las ik heel wat pagina's diagonaal. Bovendien zijn alle interviews via email afgenomen, en verder niet meer bewerkt, op taalcorrecties na. Dat leidt niet tot de meest boeiende schrijfstijl.
Er zijn mensen die het moeilijk hebben met de eenzaamheid, en andere mensen die genieten van de extra tijd die ze niet moeten besteden aan een partner, maar zo extra kunnen studeren of kunnen besteden aan een passie. Er wordt niet vermeld of de geïnterviewde man of vrouw was, soms is dat uit de naam niet op te maken. Een index op het eind van het boek met kenmerken als leeftijd, geslacht en romantische voorkeur was handig geweest.
Het boek is wat overkill; 20 interviews, misschien zelfs 15, hadden wel volstaan om de boodschap te brengen dat elke aseksuele persoon uniek is, en zijn of haar oriëntatie op een unieke manier beleeft. Als aseksuele lezer erkenning vinden is niet gegarandeerd omdat je geneigd bent de aandacht te verliezen bij de repetitieve vragen en antwoorden.
De vragen zijn soms erg interessant ("Hoe ontdekte je dat je aseksueel was?") en soms niet altijd even gemakkelijk te begrijpen ("is er een verschil voor jou tussen seksuele opwinding en seksueel verlangen?"), en 47 keer antwoorden lezen op dezelfde vragen is na een tijd wel enorm saai. Ik had na vijf interviews wel door dat er veel verschillende soorten mensen, met zoveel verschillende perspectieven, zoveel verschillende achtergronden en zoveel verschillende opvattingen over liefde en seks zijn. De schrijfster geeft aan dat ze zoveel mensen aan het woord liet om iedere lezer herkenning te bieden.
Misschien dat het boek interessanter is als je om de zoveel tijd één interview leest. Omdat ikzelf het boek in één week wilde uitlezen, wat dus niet is aan te raden, hield ik er mijn aandacht niet bij en las ik heel wat pagina's diagonaal. Bovendien zijn alle interviews via email afgenomen, en verder niet meer bewerkt, op taalcorrecties na. Dat leidt niet tot de meest boeiende schrijfstijl.
Er zijn mensen die het moeilijk hebben met de eenzaamheid, en andere mensen die genieten van de extra tijd die ze niet moeten besteden aan een partner, maar zo extra kunnen studeren of kunnen besteden aan een passie. Er wordt niet vermeld of de geïnterviewde man of vrouw was, soms is dat uit de naam niet op te maken. Een index op het eind van het boek met kenmerken als leeftijd, geslacht en romantische voorkeur was handig geweest.
Het boek is wat overkill; 20 interviews, misschien zelfs 15, hadden wel volstaan om de boodschap te brengen dat elke aseksuele persoon uniek is, en zijn of haar oriëntatie op een unieke manier beleeft. Als aseksuele lezer erkenning vinden is niet gegarandeerd omdat je geneigd bent de aandacht te verliezen bij de repetitieve vragen en antwoorden.
April 14, 2020
Before I discovered asexuality was a thing, I thought I was alone and broken. This book gives the views and perspectives of 47 asexual people from across the spectrum, not just some textbook explanation, but a whole range of views that show you the diversity of the asexual spectrum. It has really opened my eyes, and shown me that I am valid and that maybe one day I will find an asexual partner.
Also, I found the layout very easy to read and follow, and easy to compare different people's views and responses. I really enjoy this book, and it is a fine addition to my collection.
Also, I found the layout very easy to read and follow, and easy to compare different people's views and responses. I really enjoy this book, and it is a fine addition to my collection.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews