When Clara Winter left her rural Adirondack Mountain town for college, she never looked back. Her mother, Tamar, a fiercely independent but loving woman who raised Clara on her own, all but pushed her out the door, forcing Clara to build a new life for herself, far from her roots, far from her high-school boyfriend, and far from the life she had known. Now more than a decade has passed, and Clara, a successful writer, has been summoned home. Tamar has become increasingly forgetful and can no longer live on her own. But, just as her mother's memory is beginning to slip away, Clara's questions are building: Why was Tamar so insistent that Clara leave home all those years ago? What secrets was she hiding? Does Clara, too, carry inside her the gene for early-onset Alzheimer's? And, if so, what does that mean for her own future?
Alison McGhee writes novels, picture books, poems, and essays for all ages, including the just-published THE OPPOSITE OF FATE, a novel, and the #1 NEW YORK TIMES bestseller SOMEDAY, illustrated by Peter H. Reynolds. Her work has been translated into more than 20 languages. She lives in Minneapolis and California.
3.5 She left for college after the love of her life broke up with her, and didn't return for many years. Not until see hears that her mother s suffering from Alzheimer's disease, and has sold their home,all her possessions and entered nursing home. When. Rachel finally returns, looking for answers, she finds it too late, her mother, still fairly young, has very little memory left. She regrets never learning more about her mother, her mother's life and the burning question, Why did Asa breakup with her after talking to her mother?
This is a novel of loss, different types of loss, but loss all the same. It is beautifully, almost poetically written, but often repetitive as Rachel learns some answers to her questions. It is slowly paced, the kind of novel one needs to savor for the language and the emotion. Sometimes it almost had a YA vibe, as Rachel, now an adult still has many of the traits of her younger self. Almost as if she is stuck, needing the answer to the big question, needing to discover her mother's role in what became of her life. Jeopardy is a big part of tis, one of the ways Rachel connects to her mother in the nursing home. Also a connection between her and her college friends, Sunny and Brown, great characters, and loyal friends.
At a pivotal point in the novel, when she finds what she needs to know, she has this realization. "But the thing I hadn't known wen I was young and lacked perspective was that his love would always be with me. It was part of me forever. A room inside a room inside a room, a room that was always warm and bright. I could go and sit in that warmth whenever I wanted."
Thought the above quote wonderfully expressed sentiments all of us could use when dealing with an almost unbearable loss. There is friendship here and mother's love that put her child's welfare above her own happiness.
“Never Coming Back" is a deeply moving exploration of growing up and growing old, and the ties that bind parents and children – and the mysteries that sometimes keep us apart.
I need to explain up front that I am a happy and healthy 83 year old woman living in a retirement community. Unfortunately, I have witnessed friends and family members reach a point in life where they, too, have become victims of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Some of those people have struggled to find the way “home” and some have continued to live without seemingly being aware of the fact that they are “lost”.
So, wow! How should I describe my feelings about this book? I usually can find the words to express my feelings about the books I have read, but this one really stumped me. The first word that comes to my mind is: “weird”. I read another review that called the book heartwarming and fascinating. Not! The book left me feeling very uneasy.
The author made me feel as if I had been inside the brain of a 31 year old woman (Clara) who is facing the problem of how to deal with her 51 year old mother (Tamar) who is suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s disease. As I read the book, I identified with Clara and it was not a comfortable feeling. I should have identified with Tamar, but the book did not let me do that. So, how do you rate a book that left you feeling disturbed?
I think the author was able to describe the mish-mash of Clara’s feelings of loving concern and yet deep seated resentment about why she and her mother have never been able to really know and understand each other. Yet, now that I have completed reading it, I am not sure I understand what has happened.
I am not good at figuring out the abstract – and too me, the resolution of Clara’s search is not clearly stated. I think Clara finally was able to find relief and an ability to look forward to the rest of her own life but I still feel somewhat confused. I don’t think that was how the author wanted me to feel. I guess I am just not smart enough to grasp the message.
So I am going to give the book a rating based upon the author's artistry but just between you and me I cannot really say I enjoyed it.
I must add that I received this free book under the First Impressions drawing by BookBrows by promising to do a book review. The words set forth above are my honest personal feelings about the book.
We all grow up with memories embedded in our heads. Are they really true or are they skewed by how we perceive them and ponder them later in life, when we yearn for more clarity? Perhaps we have parent(s) who don’t vocalize a lot. So we don’t really know them as an individual other than our Mother/Father.
This book is about Clara, a young woman and the daughter of Tamar. Clara has no known father; her mother, Tamar, became pregnant after a brutal attack when she was a teenager.
Tamar is a strong woman, both physically and mentally, and has successfully raised Clara to a young adult in the Adirondacks. As usually happens during the teen years, there is friction between Mother and Daughter. Clara has said and done some mean, rude things to her mother that now, she is so very sorry for, but can’t find the words or how to approach her Mother because her Mother now has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s and it is progressing quickly.
After living away from home for years, Clara decides to move back home to take care of her Mother. In the time it takes her to move, her Mother has sold the family home and it’s contents and moves herself into an Alzheimer’s nursing facility. Clara is shocked to discover this, but as the story plays out, the reader, as well as Clara, will discover the why’s of everything with the help of some old photos, revelations from friends and her own Mother.
Clara’s “support group” of close friends, and a newly found relationship with a bartender help her work her way through past hurts, loss, and her own ongoing medical condition. Plus, we find out, she has a 50/50 chance of carrying the Alzheimer’s gene. There’s a lot going on and I sometimes thought Clara was still being a little needy with blaming her Mother for things of the past without knowing the whole truth. Once she “got it” she realized how hard and difficult she was acting towards her Mother all these years. Yet, time is running out as the Alzheimer’s is rapidly progressing and they are mentally losing more lucidity each day.
In conclusion, this story shows that there are things that parents do for their kids’ own good; we certainly don’t see that at the time. And as a teenager and young adult, we challenge what they say and do and we rebel. We are confused and angry. We hurt our parent(s) and we hurt inside our selves. Neither party really knows both sides of the story, but both parties are hurting and time goes by.
This is what Clare is trying to do throughout the book - find out information about past events, information about her mother and her mother’s life, HER hopes and dreams. In the end, she uncovers a lot and in the process, finds out a lot about herself. What is true, what was wrongly perceived, what she needs to take action on to be healthy, to treasure her friends, to be open to a loving relationship, to move forward in her life, knowing her Mother sacrificed for her and did the best she could do. And most importantly, forgiveness, understanding and closure.
Clara left home and only returns when her mother starts having memory issues and needs her help. Part of this story is dealing with her mother's illness, but the other part is trying to understand what happened before she left. The setting is interesting; the whole novel has a bit of a dreamlike feeling that I can't quite grasp.
I read this earlier this year but forgot to post it!
Thanks to the publisher for providing early access.
This is a beautifully written, thought provoking look at a mother and a daughter and their acceptance of each other as the mother is losing her memory to early on-set Alzheimer's. To be honest, I almost didn't read this book because I just lost my mom and I knew it would be difficult to read about losing your mom but instead this book made me more thankful for my mom because we had no great secrets and I always knew that she was a person separate from being my mom. This novel is the journey of the main character learning to love and accept her mom and to realize that he mom always put her daughter first in her life. A beautiful story!
Thanks to Book Browse for a copy to read and review. All opinions are my own.
Clara left home for college and never looked back. Until her mom was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's did she even think about returning. Now she is back, watching her mom fade away every day and confronting long buried questions and secrets. This beautifully captured the mother-daughter relationship in all of its complicated glory. I could relate to the emotional element as my mom passed away years ago and I'm always coming up with questions for her that will go unanswered, as Clara did in this novel. This was a writing style that took some getting used to, as it kind of meanders along. However, I grew accustomed to it and found this to be a beautiful tale of love and loss.
Clara was raised by her young single mother Tamar. Tamar is a strong, independent and capable woman. However, when her memory starts to decline Clara has to return to the area she grew up in to take care of her mother. Being back in the rural area of the Adirondack Mountains brings back a lot of memories. Why did Tamar make sure Clara would go to a college far away from home? What was the reason behind this sudden change of plan?
While Clara is looking for answers, she discovers more about herself and the woman who raised her. There's a lot Clara didn't know, but was she ready to have that knowledge at the time? Clara is trying to make life as easy as possible for her mother. It's difficult to talk about the past when Tamar hardly remembers anything, but the bond between the women is strong. Clara has never opened her heart to anyone again after leaving home. She now has to find a way to deal with the pain from the past so she will be able to start living again. Will she be able to uncover her mother's secrets, even though Tamar can't talk about them any longer?
Never Coming Back is a beautiful story about family, love, illness and living. Clara loves her mother, but she also blames her for the worst moment of her life. Tamar has never told her daughter exactly what happened and Clara's heart has been broken ever since. She has many regrets and one of them is that she and her mother can never resolve the issues they had because of it. Clara hasn't been able to fall in love again because she doesn't have closure and understanding and my heart ached for everything she lost. Now she's about to lose her mother at a young age as well and there's so much she doesn't know yet about the woman who raised her. Fortunately she has good friends who support her and they are helping her to share special moments with Tamar and to make sense of the situation. Tamar and Clara might not be able to talk, but love is the most important way to communicate of all, which is an amazing topic for a story.
Alison McGhee writes about Alzheimer's Disease in an open and honest way that moved me to tears. The effects on Tamar's mind are devastating. Clara doesn't know how to deal with her mother's illness and the possibility of a similar future. Because of Alison McGhee's fantastic descriptions I could easily understand and feel her pain. The emotional rollercoaster she's going through is incredibly well pictured. Alison McGhee has written a fantastic multilayered story. I loved witnessing Clara's emotional journey and I was curious to find out if she'd find a way to heal and make peace with her situation. I read this book in one sitting and was genuinely impressed. Never Coming Back is a poignant, compelling story that will stay with me for a long time.
I have not been looking forward to talking about this book, because my mama always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. But not saying anything would defeat the purpose of this.
Let's try this in the kindest way possible. "Never Coming Back" by Alison McGhee is a book about Clara, and her mother who happens to have early on-set Alzheimer's. The prose jumped around so much that every transition I was pulled out of the text. What should have taken me a night to read took three because of these interruptions.
Maybe purposeful, but the author wrote as if she herself had Alzheimer's and we were just seeing portions of her memories--scattered and disjointed through Clara. The additional characters did not add to the book. The descriptions were lacking. The repetitious self talk with exclamation points turned into areas of groaning and skipping.
Final rating: 1.5 stars. I've read worse, just not a lot.
This is a beautiful slow moving story that is meant to savored. As it unfolds, you flash back and forth between Claire's childhood, college years and present day. You gradually understand the many threads that weave into the years of the mother / daughter relationship as well as Claire's friendship with Brown and Sunshine. This is not an action or plot based book. It is very beautiful, honest and emotional look at the nuances and assumptions that are made and only when re-examined, can we see things differently. I want to rate this higher. Definite 'Best Of'. Incredible writing and I will be buying this for Mum (which is one of the highest accolades a book can get from me).
A beautifully written story about the bonds between mothers and daughters, and what happens when early on set Alzheimer's forces one to try to find answers to questions that have been buried for years under layers of pain.
I haven't actually finished this book yet. I'm about half way through, and am not certain I'll be able to make it to the end. My main issue is the pacing and continuity; both are in dire need of serious editing. There are many passages that devolve into a rambling, repetitive train-of-thought style that detracts from the moments of actual lovely prose. I was willing to stick it out until, very early on in the book, we suddenly skip an entire year ahead into the narrative, during which time absolutely nothing happened. I found this to be so jarring and inexplicable that I'm having trouble getting past it.
Secondarily, there are some serious "All mothers are great - whiny daughters don't understand the sacrifices their mothers make on their behalf" vibes being preached in this narrative that probably won't sit well with anyone who grew up with an actual toxic mother. Mom's best friend bluntly tells the main character to "grow up" when she expresses questions about (really controlling) things her mom did in the past. The main character Clara's two best friends (ugh) exist only to badger her about why she hasn't "gotten over" her issues with her mom, who they absolutely adore and venerate (for reasons I'm not totally clear on - is wood-chopping the only requirement for being a bad-ass lady Mom-saint? Because if so, someone needs to mail me that award posthaste). Even Clara has internalized her mother's feelings that she is foolish and stupid, and when she expresses that feeling out loud, her two besties basically confirm it. They also spend a lot of time in the book talking about her like she isn't there, trying to run her life, and generally being jerks.
(Clara and her friends are supposed to be in their thirties, but all three read like they're about 19 or 20. The various flashbacks to when they were in college present them as the exact same people, which contributes to the continuity problems). In the time that Clara spent away from her childhood home (from college until the present), she has not done anything, except publish one children's book. She has managed no other growth, nor has she established any kind of personality. The book mentions in passing that Clara was conceived when her mother was raped at a party, and she had a twin sister who was stillborn. While these facts would seem to be huge, formative aspects both of Clara, her mom, and their relationship, they simply aren't discussed; not sure if the author thought they would draw attention away from the Alzheimer's narrative, but it ends up feeling like a large, glaring, but ignored red-flag.
We'll see if I get through this. Pretty sure I've guessed the what the ending will be like, and I'm not looking forward to it.
Update: finished the book last night. Guessed the ending correctly. Everything I stated above stands. Overall, I was left with the feeling that this book was written in several different parts, and then pieced together, as this might explain the repetition problems, and the strange way that certain characters and background information weren't fleshed out or discussed until too far into the book.
3.5* I listened to the audiobook NEVER COMING BACK written and read by Alison McGhee. Clara Winters left her rural Adirondack Mountain town for college shortly after her boyfriend broke up with her. Tamar, her mother, raised Clara on her own and arranged for her to attend an excellent college far away from home. Over a decade later, Clara, a successful writer, is summoned home. Tamar can no longer live on her own as she has early-onset Alzheimer's disease. Clara has questions she wants answered, but her mother's memory is slipping away. Why did Tamar want Clara to go to a college far from home? Did she have secrets? What were these secrets? Does she know why Asa broke up with Clara those many years ago? Does Clara carry the gene for Alzheimer's? If so, what does her future look like? This story of a woman who needs to learn about herself and her mother before it is too late drew me in and made me feel with Clara the emotions of guilt, frustration, sadness, fear, remembrance, longing and love. NEVER COMING BACK was 'wordy' and a bit repetitive, but it worked with the theme of this book. I would like to read more books by Alison McGhee.
One would not think that a novel about alzheimers would be so captivating. But Aliso McGhee managed to bring out the humor and explain the complicated relationship between Clara Winter and her mother Tamar. I did really enjoy this book.
I love a book with a setting that's familiar territory. This book takes place in the Adirondacks, near Old Forge. This is very close to my home, and I enjoyed reading about towns and landscapes well known. Secondly, a running theme in the novel involved my favorite game show, Jeopardy. Do we really know our parents is the question this book explores. A young woman who makes her living writing, returns home to the Adirondacks, when her 50ish mother develops early onset Alzheimer's. They were estranged since her teens, but now she needs to find out what went wrong between them, before her mother's memories leave and never comes back...I enjoyed this book, especially the mystery of why her mom sent her away.
This is one of those books that will probably win the Pulitzer or Nobel prize or both because to me it reads like some I had to read in High School - and a lot were fiction prize winners. It doesn’t mean I understand them, to this day…
This is essentially a story about how a daughter, Clara, comes to terms with her mother’s early onset Alzheimer’s.This hits her hard because she, like all of us, does at one time, believe her Mom would die of old age, not slowly vanish into her own world and own mind until her eyes are empty and she is but a shell. My late Dad suffered from this and his eyes were so empty it broke my heart. I have tried to finish the story, but I honestly can’t. I’m more of a thriller and mystery fan, so when nothing happens, nothing happens.
It seems as if Clara goes on a road of self-discovery during this time, as she finally deals with the loss and death of her boyfriend, Asa, as well. Her mother had stopped the romance and there is a lot of hurt regarding this, as well as issues to do with the mother-daughter bond.
I would like to suggest that either the author or the publisher gives more detail on both content and audience as it might make a difference when others look to see if it is their type of genre. This would have a huge impact on sales and ratings as well.
I work on the belief that writing is very difficult. Just to get a book published takes a lot of hard work, and for that, I happily give it two stars.
Elsa
Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.
This book was tender and simple and mesmerizing and filled to the brim with things that are dear to me, (mothers, daughters, memory, the loss of memory), and it left me with that choking feeling that is both joy and sorrow. To only truly begin to see your mother for the real human person that she is, not the mythical fearsome immortal unknowable beast that is Mother to so many children both young and grown, in the moment that she begins to disappear is a most terrifying prospect. I know I see my mother differently, more fully, and with more compassion every day as I grow older and this book was a firm but gentle reminder of how important that process is.
The plot was predictable and while I would usually be annoyed by that, in this case, it felt like something sturdy to lean against in the midst of the raging winds of watching someone you love fade away into a person who doesn't know you. I enjoyed this book so deeply and I look forward to sharing it in the future.
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and NetGalley provided me with an electronic copy of Never Coming Back. I was under no obligation to review this book and my opinion is freely given.
After Clara Winter was basically forced, by her mother, out of the Adirondacks for college, she never looked back. One day, Clara receives a call that her mother, Tamar, needs her. Will she be able to find the courage to ask the questions that have been plaguing Clara since her teenage years?
Never Coming Back was all over the place, with retrospective looks to the past disrupting the flow of the novel. Tamar's story should have been compelling, but it came off flat and uninspiring. The premise of the book was good, but the author just never got there. I was expecting more from this book and was disappointed in the ending, especially. I would be hesitant to recommend Never Coming Back to other readers, for the reasons I have mentioned above.
Clara returns to her home turf when her mother is diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. She is reunited with her two best friends from college and meets an interesting new man as she struggles with losing the strong woman in her life with whom she has had a mixed relationship. An old mystery is solved and Clara comes to grips with the new life she must make for herself and her future.
Well written with a wonderful command of the English language (Clara is a “words” person) this novel is a poignant look at one woman’s relationship with her mother as well as life in general. I’m so glad I read it.
With this read we delve into the relationship of a mother and a daughter, and with this bond, it has always been just the two of them. Loosing a parent is never easy, but watching your parent die mentally little by little is very heart wrenching. The main character here is Clara and we watch her grow and learn about her mother Tamara, and it comes after her mother has entered an assisted living at 49. This story makes you realize that each day is not a given, and we see Clara trying to make sense of what has happened, and wishing she could ask those questions that only a mother would know. Then with the Alzheimer’s diagnosis there is the question of carrying the gene, a lot to deal with. One of the reasons I read this book was it takes place near where I live, I have traveled many of these roads and visited a lot of these places. I received this book through Edelweiss and the Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, and was not required to give a positive review.
Parts of this story were heartbreakingly well-written as Clara navigates her mother’s decline. And I enjoyed the many written devices that she visualizes in the middle of dialogue. It may come across as a touch self-indulgent, but I am certain that the author experiences this in reality and is not a gimmick. Parts of this story were melodramatic and seemed to portray a woman much younger than her 32 years (I envisioned a 20- or 22-year-old) as she mourned the end of her high school relationship. Maybe this is a realistic portrayal given the world events of that decade and her small town early years, but for this reader, it didn’t jibe with Clara’s subsequent life experiences of college and adult life away from her small town. Overall a solid read. (Note about the audio version: Please, dear author, pony up the extra cash to pay a professional actor (unless you’re Neal Gaiman). George Lucas didn’t insist on playing Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and Darth Vader, for a reason.)
Whew. You know when some book pops up on the margin of something, and you don't know what it is, and it's nothing you'd like? Well, I don't know where this book came from but it about knocked me out. If you're feeling sad about losing a parent, I'd be careful about reading this. The main character is a book lover, a "word girl" as her mother once called her, so I guess I identified with her--along with the obvious parallel that I am gradually losing my elderly mother.
It didn't start out as a five-star book for me. The clever repartee among the college-friend characters seemed a little too cute. But her introspection and her muddle of feelings as she puzzled out her mother's life really struck a chord. A very emotionally genuine, (mostly) non-saccharine treatment of losing a parent to Alzheimer's.
Being familiar with the Adirondacks and having a loved one revenged by dementia, approached this novel with optimism. However, Alison McGhee’s use of flashbacks and a spurting story line left me feeling pessimistic.
I enjoyed this book and wept near the end. Although I sometimes felt the narrator was trying too hard to be witty (Jeopardy references, conversations with Sunshine and Brown) the heart of the book is the prickly love relationship between a taciturn mother and a lonely daughter. The mother's battle with early onset Alzheimer's was tragic and very real.
Started this at one point but put it down because I didn't appreciate it. Started it again after my mom, who had dementia, passed. Now the book made perfect sense. Great read.