くぐもったドラム

by Erastes, 英田サキ (超訳), Est Em (イラスト)

ここに来たのは、別れを告げるためだ。もう二度と会わない。

軍隊での同性愛は身の破滅――マティアス中尉は、上官ルドルフ大尉と除隊し、共に生きることを誓いあった。だが予期せぬ運命の嵐がふたりを襲う。落馬したルドルフが記憶喪失となり、愛を交わした二年間を忘れてしまったのだ。ルドルフの軍服の胸ポケットには捨てたはずの妻の写真が納まり、しかもベルリンに“男の恋人”がいると打ち明けられ、ベッドでも手酷く拒まれてしまう。自分は弄ばれただけなのか。何が真実かわからず、強い猜疑心が芽生えてもなお募る愛しさに、マティアスの心は引き裂かれる……

忘れ去られた青年の、痛く、切ない愛。
M/M小説のメロドラマを英田サキがBL超訳で綴る！

Genres: M M Romance, Historical, Romance, Historical Fiction, Historical Romance, Military Fiction, Queer

216 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2011

About the author

Born in Essex, England in 1959, Erastes attended Southend High School for Girls.

Erastes is the penname of a female author who lives in Norfolk, UK. She drew her inspiration to write historical fiction from works such as Gaywyck by Vincent Virga and the novels of Mary Renault. Erastes was the Director of the Erotic Authors Association for two years and is an active member of the Historical Novel Society. She is the moderator of Speak Its Name, an influential blog dedicated to gay historical fiction.

Erastes has been writing since 2003, and details of all her books and short stories can be found on her website.

Her second novel, "Transgressions," was one of the flagship releases by Running Press in their M/M Historical Romance line which is being marketed directly at the existing romance market and was shortlisted for a Lambda award in 2010.

Her releases for 2011 are:
Mere Mortals - Lethe Press in April
Muffled Drum - Carina Press in July
Junction X - Cheyenne Press in November

Erastes is represented by The Schiavone Literary Agency, Inc.

Bibilography

Novels/Novellas

Mere Mortals - to be published by Lethe Press in March 2011
Muffled Drum - to be published by Carina Press in July 2011
Tributary - published in Last Gasp by Noble Romance Publishing (novella)
Transgressions - published by Perseus Books (novel)
Frost Fair - published by Cheyenne Publishing(novella)
Hard & Fast - published in "Speak Its Name" by Cheyenne Publishing (novella)
Chiaroscuro - published in "Night Moves" by Aspen Mountain Press December 2007 (novella)
Standish - published by PD Publishing November 2006 (novel)

Short Stories

Right Hand Man - published in Unmasked II, more erotic tales of gay superheroes by STARbooks.
Whatever the Risk - published in the Queer Dimensions anthology by Queered Fiction
The Snow Queen - published in the I DO anthology by MLR Press
If you can't stand the Heat - to be published by Cleis press
Drug Colours - published by Lethe Press in "Best Gay Short Stories"
Show Don't Tell - published in MEN Magazine March 2008
Fire & Ice - published by Cleis Press in their Erotic Alphabet series "J is for Jealousy"
Lifeline - published in Alyson Book's "Cruising" anthology
Drug Colours - published in Cleis Press's "Where the Boys are: Urban Gay Migrations" Anthology
Ribinks - published by The Drabbler
The Bird - published in Alyson's "Fast Balls" Baseball Anthology
Matelotage - published in Alyson's "Treasure Trails" Pirate Anthology
Lucky - published in "Love in a Lock up" by Starbooks
In the Dark - published in "Ultimate Gay Erotica 2007" by Alyson Books
Ten Kisses - published in "Connections" by Iris Print
My Best Customer - published in "Travelrotica" by Alyson Books
Petard - published by Clean Sheets
His Story Teller - runner up in Torquere Press' "Do it yourself" competition
Bright Souls - published by Alyson Books in Ultimate Gay Erotica 2005
Sin of the Tongue - published by Torquere Press
Lifeline - published by Torquere Press
Bright Souls published by Torquere Press

Reviews

[LenaLena · Rating 2 out of 5]

I never quite connected with this book. Nothing in this book surprised me, except one scene and that was more of a WTF? surprise than a good thing. I liked Matthias, Rudolph was meh, I liked the setting in Germany/Poland, but everything got solved so smoothly that the story just didn't grip me. And then it got stupid.

I was pretty much done with it when Rudolph finally somewhat remembers that he and Matthias have been lovers before he got his amnesia and what does he do when Matthias comes to see him? Does he fall into his arms and tell him he remembers that they were lovers? Does he thank him for sticking by his side even though it must have been so very painful when the man you've been going steady with for 18 months now addresses you as Herr Hoffmann? Does he apologize profusely for mistakenly falling into bed with his ex on his first evening back, and assure him that said ex is now out of the picture? Of course not: Rudolph decides to extract 'vengeance' on Matthias for not telling him before now that they were illicit lovers, even if he's done nothing to let Matthias know he is attracted to him. He does this by pretending he still doesn't remember and to tease Matthias with said ex, even insinuating said ex may still be around. Seriously, Rudolph?!? That seemed like a good plan to you?

Oh no! Now Matthias stomps off and leaves town heartbroken. Now Rudolph wrings his hands moaning that that conversation did not go as planned. No shit, Sherlock. You must be more brain damaged than I was let to believe. Fast forward to Matthias beating himself up and wallowing in guilt for 'abandoning' Rudolph. Blah blah blah, wife dies, children conveniently out of the way, happy reunion.

I'd better shut up before this book loses another star.

[vLadimiR · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was like a cross between The Patriot and The Vow, in a good way.

I'm finding myself really liking historical romance with the way the author portray the characters in her books. They're still masculine but sensitive; Has a sense of humor without going overboard; Erotic but intimate. And even though the plot may be predictable, the chemistry between the characters Rudolph and Mathias was a pleasure to read. There's just something about men falling in love during the medieval times and the Victorian age that's so romantic.

The author also seem to be quite conservative when it comes to featuring central female characters in her story. This would be the first book I've read of Erastes that featured a woman, through the character of Augusta von Ratzlaff. Don't get me wrong, I love that the story focuses a lot on Rudolph and Mathias but adding a positive female figure was quite a refreshing element to the story. I liked her character a lot.

This is my third book from this author and it seems like I'm working my way backwards to her earliest books to compensate for not discovering her books sooner. I'm happy to say I'm enjoying the experience so far.

[Elisa Rolle]

Knowing (and having read) the previous works by Erastes, I was a little “scared” to start this one: a story about two lovers in the Prussian army during the 1866 war… I was expecting good setting, dark passion and a lot of drama for these two men, and well, the happy end was not a sure thing. But I was wrong. Maybe the author tamed a little her inclination for realistic drama due to the guidelines of the publisher (Carina Press is indeed a romance publisher, and the happy end is one of the sacred rule of the romance), and the result is the same love for a good setting, the same researched and detailed plot but with a little more of happily ever after.

The little different trend is clear from the beginning, when Captain Rudolph von Ratzlaff and First Lieutenant Mathias Hofmann are planning to elope together after one last battle. They are lovers since the day they met in a tavern and even if Mathias wonders how a man of an high social status like Rudolph is willing to share his life with a simple middle class man like him, they are both clearly in love. But the fate decides to make it a little difficult for them and Rudolph suffers from amnesia due to a blow he received in that last battle. He has forgotten the last two years, and so his relationship with Mathias, but he has not forgotten his previous male lover, Ernst, in Berlin. Rudolph is planning to go back to Berlin and to Ernst, and Mathias decides to stay near him, to see if he will regain his memory and with that, their love.

As I said, this novel is way more “light” than expected, and in some point, it sounded almost like a comedy more than drama; Rudolph was not at all a romance hero, on the contrary, sometime he was very much ordinary man, with the related faults: he was easily deceived by a pretty face like Ernst, and even when he realizes that he was manipulated by his same servants, his reaction is “soft”. I had the feeling that Rudolph was a good representative of the aristocracy of the time, maybe a little too used to obtain what he wanted without fighting too much for it. On this regard, Mathias is a little more “active”, and he seems to fight more for their relationship. I have the feeling both of them believed in their love, but I also think there was a good chance for them to not succeed in their common happily ever after due to really stupid obstacles.

I enjoyed Muffled Drum, above all I loved the unexpected “sweet” romance I found.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005078OKG/?...

[Cristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first novel by Erastes, and a very emotional read.

I loved the historical setting and the two main characters - Mathias is especially moving in his steadfast loyalty to Rudolf.

The expedient of the memory loss and the forgotten lover is exploited by the writer in a convincing manner and I liked the ending that doesn't provide a neat resolution but leaves a certain ambiguity and openness to the reader.

A shortish but very satisfying read.

[BlackTulip · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed By BlackTulip for Booked Up

When I choose to read a book by this author I know that I will have a very good time. And even more interesting, the action takes place in Bohemia where my father's roots are ...

What can I say, she has a way with words when it comes to description. It is unique, you can feel the cold of the battlefield, you can smell the mixture of sweat of both men and horses, you can hear the hooves and the shouts all around, you're nearly a part of the action! Touch after touch, with subtlety she paints us a picture.

This is a story of two soldiers, Captain Rudolph von Ratzlaff and First Lieutenant Mathias Hoffman, best friends and secret lovers who intend to start a life together, far from society, its obligations and demands, unfortunately something terrible happens. Rudolph becomes partially amnesic and looses the last two years of his life and Mathias looses the only part of his life that matters to him and he doesn't know how he will coop. Between confusion for one and despair for the other the situation becomes more complicated when Rudolph old lover reappears on the scene using the situation to his advantage.

After a lot of hardship, in the end, they will have a second chance and will be able to build new memories together.

It is a book full of noises, full of emotions and full of life. I loved it.
Erastes knows how to tell us a story! No doubt I will read it again. I give it a 5/5.

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the heartbreaking story of Rudolph and Mathias who are secret lovers in the Prussian army. To be together they decide to resign their posts and leave everything behind. Unfortunately on their final battle Rudolph suffers from memory loss and does not recognise Mathias any more. Already having resigned his post Mathias makes the decision to travel with Rudolph, who is on his way home to Berlin, in the hope that something will trigger his memory. Mathias has been advised not to force Rudolph to remember his missing past and finds it hard not to despair.

[Miz Love · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh wow. What an utterly exquisite book. I knew, having read Mere Mortals, that when I picked up Muffled Drum I would get a tale steeped in history and deep, heart-wrenching writing that would keep me spellbound. I wasn’t disappointed.

First, I’d like to address the writing. It pulls you in, a voice so rich in perfect word choices that I couldn’t fail to fall in love with it. Erastes has a way of it, where one hundred authors may use the same one word, she chooses another, and it’s beautifully done. I can’t fully express how her wording affects me, just that it does in a very good way and on so many levels.

For the plot, I imagined the author sitting down one day and thinking: What could happen if two men decided to give up everything—one giving up more than the other—to be together, despite a time when being gay was seen as abhorrent, and one lost their memory just before the time came to flee? A thousand authors, all with different angles, could have written this book, this plot, and made a fine job of it, but none, in my opinion, as eloquently as Erastes. I ached while reading—my heart literally hurt in a throbbing, dull kind of way—and that, to me, speaks of an amazing author to be able to touch me in this way.

The scene-setting is very vivid. This is definitely one book that reads like watching a film. I saw the camp, the tents, the soldiers, the horses, the battle, the wounds, the journey, their arrival, the people, every single thing, all laid out in front of me without any effort to try and see them on my part. The author did the job and did it exceptionally well.

Rudolf is one of our heroes. He’s the one to lose his memory, and the one who would be losing the most by leaving the regiment to be with his lover. He’s well-known in rich circles, has a wife and two children, and before his memory loss, and after the most recent battle, he’d planned to walk away from everything he’d always known. For love.

Mathias, our other hero, doesn’t care about Rudolf’s riches, just the man he is, the man he fell in love with. They hadn’t spoken much about Rudolf’s wife, and I suppose the guilt would have been too much for Mathias if he’d given them too much thought.

**plot spoilers ahead**

After the battle, Mathias is buoyant, so happy that the time has come for them to set up life together and, as planned, he goes to resign. Only, Rudolf hasn’t yet resigned. Perhaps he’s late getting back from the field, perhaps he got killed, perhaps perhaps perhaps. This scene had me saying, “Oh, God, no…” and wondering what had happened. Although a relief to know Rudolf hadn’t been killed, to find that he had lost his memory from a fall from his horse, and to have no recollection of who Mathias is… Ah, that’s the kicker, the point where you wish you didn’t have to read on but can’t help but continue. You know this book is going to hurt, know it’s going to drag your heart around and squeeze it tight, and despite this, there was no way I could put the book down. I’d invested too much in Rudolf and Mathias already by this point.

And so, with Mathias having resigned, he must leave the field, and thank God Rudolf is sent home due to his predicament. Mathias joins him on the journey, and it is as pain-filled as it is uplifting. We see how Rudolf struggles to remember, and how Mathias watches this and wills him to remember. This is where your heart will ache, your throat will tighten, and you wish, possibly a little too hard, that Rudolf’s memory will come back now because you can’t stand the loss of it yourself for much longer. Mathias, unable to touch Rudolf in the ways he had before, unable to even speak to him the same way…it really does make you wonder how you’d manage in the same situation—and that is where I think Erastes tapped into the very human side of this tale and chose the one thing that we could all relate to: we may well have our love in our life, but we’re a stranger to them.

Painful yet beautifully handled.

We have Goertz, who means well but annoyed me because he did something he shouldn’t have and if he hadn’t, Rudolf’s memory may well have returned sooner. How could it not? If he had what Goertz had taken away, because he loved Mathias so much, his mind and heart would have remembered, I’m sure of it. I wanted that, wanted things to be different, and that they weren’t was a delicious, if somewhat warped pleasure for me. I confess I enjoyed the pain of reading.

Ernst. He’s a man no other should ever have to be involved with. He’s the epitome of the nastier, more selfish side of human beings that disgusted me. I’m aware people like this exist, of course I am, but because I’d grown very attached to Rudolf, I abhorred Ernst and what he did more than I would have if Rudolf hadn’t crawled under my skin and stayed there—where, I might add, he will remain for the rest of my life, along with Mathias.

Sometimes we are lucky enough to read a book where it changes your life in a dramatic way. Muffled Drum is one of those books for me. It changed my perspective, made me think of how it would affect me if someone I loved lost their memory and had no clue who I was. It scared me, and I admit I prayed this would never happen to anyone in my life. I don’t know if I could bear knowing everything about that person, everything we’d done together, when that person has no idea.

The title is perfect. Absolutely perfect. And it made me cry when I realised the significance. For me, Mathias is that muffled drum (crying now while writing this) and I heard the drum as a drum, beating dully, there but not loud enough, just not there, but also heard it as Mathias and everything about him that lingered in Rudolf’s mind. He heard it, but damned if he could hear it loud enough. You’ll understand when you read the book.

I knew there would be a happy ever after, but not the way it happened. Another heart-wrenching twist that spoke to me of the love Rudolf’s wife had for him. She knew, and that is all I’ll say. A lovely woman. And then that final love scene…I cried through it all, words blurred. It hurt, but in a very good way.

I must say something about my favourite scene. I loved it because of the reality of it, the way the words rolled along and the scene played out in my mind. It’s the one where Rudolf questions Goertz about the picture. The dialogue is amazing—real—and I read it three times before I continued with the tale, and then when I finished the book I flicked back to read that scene again. A superb few paragraphs of writing.

Best Bits: …wiping at the flesh under his shirt. (I felt that.)

“You’re the best batman I’ve had, Becher,” he said, feeling sorry for the deception. “I just wanted you to know that.” (Cried.)

…for surely, if Mathias told him, he would remember—surely? (Such a heart-rending moment. Cried again.)

Whatever monster he had lurking there, Mathias really didn’t want to know.

…baring her brown, peg-like teeth at him. (This gave me the creeps, it really did.)

…he loved to hang around the bar and watch a world he knew he’d never join. (I knew immediately with this line what was meant, even though it is explained further on. It cut deep, took me back to feeling melancholy, hurting with loneliness and want, and knowing that Mathias went to the bar so he could be close to Rudolf even though his lover wasn’t there. I can’t explain how I felt here without crying, so I won’t even begin to try. Just know that if you’ve ever suffered loss, you’ll feel it all again here, understanding why he’s doing what he does.)

Verdict: One of the very best books I’ve ever read in my life. Staggeringly brilliant on so many levels, it suited me more than perfectly. I adored it. I can’t really say much more than that without the knot of emotions I thought I’d buried when I finished the book slamming back. I don’t think I can handle their return at the moment. Buy it and love it—but be prepared to be dragged through a gamut of emotions. Tissues nearby would be good.

[Cehache · Rating 2 out of 5]

Barely 1'5*. I utterly HATE giving such low ratings, but this book pissed me off on so many levels.

I loved the story... until the last 20 pages or so. I even cried at the very beginning, when Mathias finds out Rudolph is not coming with him.

This is a great example on how to ruin one of the best reads I've had in months, in the last 10 pages.

Facts:

- That Rudolph is willing to leave his wife for his lover, that I can understand. But leaving his children without a goodbye?! I was willing to overlook that, blaming it on his mad and blind love. But after reading the rest, it only adds up at how much I ended up disliking him.

- Mathias has lost EVERYTHING. His life is ruined, it is tragedy. And approaching the end we find this: "He'd make Mathias pay for his deception, however well intentioned" WHAT???!!! On top of everything he's been through??? Rudolph, like the selfish asshole he proves himself to be, decides to tease him a bit when he finds out they were lovers. How pretty. And then, in the same scene, M is pissed off and fed up with his crap and leaves, apparently forever. Guess what? R doesn't give a damn! WHAT?! I mean, M is fighting, swallowing his pride, following R everywhere, and putting up with the Ernst issue. And R doesn't fight a bit, doesn't follow him, doesn't seem to suffer.

- What's the deal with the wife? I loved the character, but her relationship with R is never explained. We only know he has caused her a lot of pain, and she didn't deserve it. He didn't even have the decency of talking about her to M in the past two years. And he loves her? I guess in the respectful (my ass) and platonic way or something, but it needs clarification.

- This, for the love of all that was holy, I cannot understand no matter how I look at it: We have a very explicit sex scene that is completely unnecesary of one of the main characters with the very bad guy, Ernst. When I read a story about a couple madly in love, I don't want them to be graphically portraited having sex with other people, specially if those other people are despicable. That I decided to overlook AGAIN. And then, THEN, when we finally have a sex scene between the two mains, it is a hand job 3 paragraphs long in which M isn't even satisfied. WTF? "It's to hint at the bitter fact that R is a bit selfish". NO. It shows he doesn't care. We hear more about how he enjoyed sex with E than about the feelings M is stirring up in him. If such thing is happening.

- R doesn't go in search of M even once. M goes to his home to talk to him, to bring the horses, goes with him to Berlin, to the ball, even in the end to sort things out, abasing himself again. "He sends notes". See? He doesn't fight for him. Isn't desperate to bring him back. Doesn't fight. He lacks passion, and... love.

- The ending of the book comes in more or less 5 pages. Seriously. It is so rushed there're so many things lost. M has never told him he's disgraced for resigning the army. It could change EVERYTHING. His position in society, and his staying next to R in public (even as a servant or part of the household) now that they're not eloping. M hasn't asked him if this is only a convenient arrangement after losing Augusta and Ernst. After everything that's happened, that would plague me. M seems to be content that R remembers him naked. Way to go. R doesn't acknowledge the great pain M has been through. Too many things untold.

- R is in love with M again... out of the blue? He goes from claiming he loves Ernst, to claim he loves M. Yes, he's confused because of the memory thing, but it can't be so easy under any circumstance to jump from being loyal to someone, to being loyal to another. This makes me think he says "I love you" without too much of an effort. "But the way he sees it, he's never broken up with E!" But when he finds out he has indeed, he turns back to M and is in the THIS IS THE ONLY ONE I LOVE STAGE. On a whim, because he doesn't want to be alone, or that's the feeling I get. What if he had never found out E was deceiving him? I get the feeling he couldn't have cared less about M's whereabouts.

- I liked that he doesn't recover his lost memories. Most of the amnesia stories end up with the person recovering his thoughts. It's good for a change that he doesn't. And that he falls in love again anyway... if I could believe it! I also liked that the author did their research on the scenario the book is set. They didn't go into deep historical detail, which is something I thank. Better to show little and accurate, than a lot and totally made up. The few inaccuracies are easy to overlook.

I'm not done. I haven't, in fact, even started. But I'll leave it at that, main points covered.

This book was a great dissapointment. Not only because of the inconsistences in the story, but because it made me hate the characters in the end. I feel like I have some chapters missing, or there's a second part to come. I was dumbfounded when I found out there was no Epilogue, after thinking "they surely will explain everything now". I don't believe in their love anymore.

I will read more from this author, because I loved the first 75% of the book, and I hope this was just me being over critical. I love their writing style, and the fact that the sex scenes aren't overlong, and many other aspects of their writing :D Because I won't talk about the contractions (I'm, He'd, That's). They're ok when in a character's speech, but they horrify me in the prose. This is a book, not an e-mail or a blogpost. But that's probably only personal preference. No, I won't talk about it. Nope.

I never write reviews but I'm so fuming, that I had to vent. I don't mean to be disrespectful to the author. Excuse my grammar and punctuation mistakes as English is not my native language and blahblahCrapblahblah.

[Kassa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Muffled Drum is an absorbing page turning historical story. In fact I didn’t want to put this down as the setting and characters sucked me in from the beginning. The story is poignant and often bittersweet but with a solid HEA ending that should definitely please fans. The writing is very strong with a rich, descriptive setting and lots of contrasting interests. The characters are intriguing with flaws and nuanced depth. My only slight issue is with the predictable “villain” character thrown in towards the end that I’m not sure even needed to be there. It adds a certain tone to the story but I disliked the obvious nature of his inclusion and furthermore the treatment of the character. However those could be personal reader preferences too and others won’t be bothered.

The story starts out with Rudolph and Mathias deeply in love and planning their escape from the military. They agree on a plan to resign their posts later that day, thereby causing a definite scandal, and run off to be together. The opening scene is very romantic with a touch of melodrama and foreboding. It establishes how deeply in love the two men are and their hopes for the future. Unfortunately that future never comes to pass as Rudolph takes a spill that very day and loses his memory. Mathias, already having resigned in a rash move, accompanies Rudolph home in hopes the other man will remember their love affair at last.

The writing is immediately absorbing and interesting. Set initially during a fighting campaign, the bleak conditions of the military are very well portrayed. The setting is definitely a third and very important character from the fighting to the various small inns and towns they pass through and even to the rich and lush lifestyle of Berlin. This is all juxtaposed the very intimate relationship with Rudolph and Mathias. There are various secondary characters but the story focuses on the two main men and their relationship, both past and present. This creates an intimate feel between the men and also kept my attention firmly on their interactions.

This isn’t a hardship either as the amnesia theme is handled very well with well thought out characters. Both men are interesting with strengths and weaknesses. Mathias is an easy character to feel for as the depth of his emotion is played out in almost every scene. I couldn’t help but feel for his plight as he struggles with his feelings and what the very real future may be. Rudolph is not as intriguing, mostly because he’s more of the centerpiece that everyone revolves around than the most interesting character. He’s well developed and his amnesia is portrayed very well and convincingly. He does pale though when compared to Mathias and even Ernst.

This is my other slight issue with the story, the inclusion and handling of Ernst. He’s Rudolph’s old lover and since Rudolph loses two years of his memory, he thinks the two are still together. Ernst is portrayed as the classic villain and used to throw tension and conflict between Rudolph and Mathias. Unfortunately I found this somewhat obvious and unfortunate. The writing does a good job of making this entire side plot believable and understandable, yet I found it the most obvious distraction. I wish something else had been used as Ernst feels too one sided and easily handled. I personally felt he deserved more of a nod to his depth than the somewhat shallow treatment he got. But then again I can’t say I liked the character of his inclusion at all. He’s in the story for a reason and thus has a purpose but I wish the story had taken a different direction.

This is however a slight issue amongst a real page turning novel. I didn’t want to put this down and watching Rudolph and Mathias discover their love for each other again is very absorbing. The great writing and fascinating descriptive setting all combine to deliver a really great historical story. It’s not necessarily one I’d read again but it’s definitely a story I’d recommend.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stars: 4.5/5

Overall
This is a well-written novel that I emotionally struggled to finish, not because of the writing or the 'heavy' content, but because the character's suffering spoke true to me. Although it's not an overly intense in any one way, it is the story of two lovers, one of whom has forgotten the past two years during which the lovers came together. While in the end I was rewarded, I had a hard time making myself read when I knew the characters were in emotional pain. However, if you struggle with the same, I'd still recommend this book--and recommend you stick through 'til the end.

Strengths
Approach. The angle of the story (one lover loses his memory just as the pair are prepared to forfeit their ranks in society, leaving one in the lurch), was well played out as the characters struggled with the new places they find themselves in. Interestingly, there are almost two major conflicts: the initial problem that perpetuates the story and then the later event that is the real rising action of the story. I enjoyed the direction the story went and the eventual resolution.

Characters. A nice variety of characters with good human reactions. One kind, but clueless, hero; the second hero is pained and trying to do the right thing; a companion is gruff, trying to do the right thing, but not that bad a guy; and a skeevy man who uses his body to trick rich men. Individually the characters may not be that interesting, but thrown together into the situation and we see more of them than is first presented.

Weaknesses
While the lead up to the end was long, the end itself was short, almost abrupt. It didn't feel lacking in content, but it did bring about a quick turn of emotions that I'm not sure I was completely prepared for. A very minor niggle in my brain.

I requested a review copy of this book.

Be sure to check out my other reviews on my blog.

[Erika · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, it wasn't that bad. Rushed, plain and predictable but not downright bad, I guess. The writing was average at best, nothing quote worthy. Second half of the book felt trite and unrealistic. Couldn't stop myself thinking that I've read fanfiction with better plots and character development than this... and those were free to read. I guess my quest for a good historical gay romance must go on.

[Chancellor Fangirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sweet amnesia story with some good smut. 3 1/2.

[Lena Grey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life often throws us into circumstances which seem unreasonable. 'Muffled Drum' by Erastes presents us with a vivid story of two men, hopelessly in love, ready and willing to leave everything behind to be together. With war and death all around them, Rudolph and Mathias choose love and life instead. When Rudolph falls off his horse he loses the last two years of his life, the ones which unfortunately include his relationship with Mathias. In different ways, they face the challenge of putting the pieces of their lives back together and moving forward. With Mathias the only one who remembers how those pieces fit, they struggle to make sense out of their lives as they are now and to determine how they will be in the future.

When Mathias visits Rudolph's wife, her grace and acceptance of him is so incredible that it changes his entire outlook. Mathias was beginning to doubt that anything he'd had with Rudolph was real until he met with her. Unwittingly, she reminds him of how valuable he was to Rudolph when she says: “I assume that you are the Oberleutnant Hofmann my husband has told me so much about.” His response to her statement: “If she’d said she assumed he was a hippopotamus, Mathias could hardly have been more astonished.” It was her request for Mathias to stay with him that was the catalyst he needed to persevere. For me, this was one of the most poignant moments in the story.

I'm in awe of Erastes’s ability to use an ordinary object or event which, taken by itself, seems totally irrelevant and spin it into the story to convey something profound. In this book, she uses Rudolph's disdain for pomade hair dressing in the beginning and at the end, with the pomade not only signifying the greasy hair dressing, but also a harbinger of hope. Another example of this technique involves an erotic portrait of Mathias that Rudolph always carries with him. The reference to the sensual daguerreotype is a turning point even through the confusion of the pictures within the frame changing from Rudolph's wife and children, Ernst, his ex-lover and then back to Mathias effectively promotes the phrase that "A picture is worth a thousand words." There are many more references that appear in the story which are mixed in with Rudolph's 'muffled drum' memories. He receives many bits and pieces of information which relate to Mathias, i.e, wondering why he would expect Mathias to click his heels after a bow while not remembering that he'd done so many times in the past. There are other instances, like when he recalls Mathias's body in detail without realizing that he did know him intimately, or when Mathias seems so familiar, yet like a stranger at the same time. Eventually, it's not recovering his memories that brings Rudolph and Mathias back together; it's that his heart remembers what his mind seems to have forgotten that allows love to triumph.

“Muffled Drum' is an emotional story, set in a historical context which intensifies its romanticism even more. It's a story of determination, passion, angst, and the ability of true love's ability to persevere even in the harshest scenarios. If, like me, you enjoy romance in a historical setting with handsome, passionate men and a happy ending, you will also enjoy this book.

New note for Goodreads:
NOTE: This book was provided by the author for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.

[Emanuela ~plastic duck~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like historical romance very much and this story was deeply emotional.

Rudolph and Mathias have become lovers during the war. They don't want the army to find out they are lovers, so they decide to take part in their last battle and then resign their commission and run away together, even if this will probably be deemed disgraceful by their peers.

After resigning, Mathias goes to Rudolph's tent and discovers his lover was injured during the battle and lost two years of his memories. Suddenly Mathias is without a job, socially ruined, and without his love. His devotion to Rudolph makes him decide to help him get home, even if staying close to him and not being remembered makes him suffer. But the worst is yet to come: it seems the only vivid memory Rudolph retains is of a misterious handsome man who was his lover in Berlin and whom he's looking forward to seeing when he gets back.

This story was full of heartache and angst and I couldn't put it down.

Rudolph comes from a wealthy family and everything, from his skills as a rider to his skill as an officer - seems to come easy to him. His social position keeps him above scandal. It's like everyone knows he prefers men, but his weakness is treated with indulgence. He has a lovely wife and children and he keeps them safe away in the country, while he is keeping a male lover in the city. He doesn't feel guilt for this situation, nor it's embarrassing to him. It's just the way things are.

Mathias, on the contrary, is of more humble origins. He had to work hard to achieve his position in the army. Their relationship starts on an even ground, but I think Rudolph's personality is the strongest of the two, or maybe it's just Mathias thinking that he's dependable. The different social classes they come from become an obstacle in Mathias' mind when he sees Rudolph in Berlin. He understands that he doesn't only have to fight against another man, but he also has to find a way to fit in Rudolph's world. His natural generosity is not enough to make him stay at Rudolph's side, while the other man wants to be in the arms of his old lover.

This part of the story is truly heartbreaking. I almost hated Rudolph for the easeness with which he fell back to his old ways, even if his amnesia was responsible for it, but there was a carelessness in Rudolph's behavior that I think was truly part of the character. Seeing Mathias trying to lead a new life far from his only true love, accepting a job that tired him physically, - but then looking for a resemblance of Rudolph once in a while - made me hurt for him. I felt that Mathias was the only character who was being true, while the hypocrisy of Rudolph's world seemed to envelop the man himself. I found it truly fascinating to try to recognize what belonged to the real Rudolph, what to the social Rudolph and what to the injured Rudolph.

It was a bit difficult for me to really get into the book. It was as if the beginning was clunky, I didn't feel eased into the story and I had to go back and re-read the first pages, but it was probably because the book begins in medias res, but when I got in the right frame of mind it was a pleasure to read.

Galley received via NetGalley, courtesy of the publisher.

[Gerry Burnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gerry B's Book Reviews - http://www.gerrycan.wordpress.com

Having written over ten successful novels to date, it seems author Erastes has decided to challenge herself with a devilishly complex theme, i.e. loss of memory, which is what Muffled Drum [Carina Press, July 4, 2011] centres around. And if that wasn’t challenging enough, she has also chosen an obscure but bloody war, The Austro-Prussian War— 14 June – 23 August, 1866.

Although I have in my possession a sabre/bayonet from this very era, inscribed “Cavalry de La Chat, 1867,” it is a not a war I am familiar with; nor is it a period that has been frequently exploited as a background or setting for novels

In this story, Captain Rudolph von Ratzlaff and First lieutenant Mathias Hoffman, two young, handsome, army officers, have decided to resign their commissions and run away together. However, there is one more battle to fight, and following that Hoffman follows through with his resignation, but von Ratzlaff has sustained an injury that has left him with “selective” amnesia—meaning he can remember everything except the past two years and his lover Hoffman.

As is Eraste’s wont, there are delicate touches of irony sprinkled throughout that remain on the palate until the story is finished, i.e.


“The scent of sweat and horse rose up in the heat they generated. Concentrating on the unique taste and feel of Mathias’s mouth, Rudolph swore to
remember this moment throughout the day to come. When I’m cold from the death around me, or blazing with the thunder of the charge, I will remember this—this moment. It is this that men fight for—Mathias is my reason to fight, my haven. My home.”

Such was not to be, however, and also complicating the scenario is a Frau Ratzloff & family who are waiting at home, and a predatory ex-lover whom von Ratzlaff seems to be remember for all his non-predatory charms.

However, in the end love triumphs over adversity, and so the story ends in a typically romantic fashion.

***

Critically speaking I give full marks for the bold tackling of a complex issue, such as a lover, still very much in love, faced with the dilemma of his partner’s amnesia—especially since the former has gambled his all for a “happy ever after” relationship.

The choice of such an interesting, but little remembered war, was also a bold but typical Erastian venture, and her attention to detail—i.e., “leutnant” for lieutenant, and “rittmeister” for captain—add greatly to the credibility.

My one quibble (although it does not change the ranking) is that I did not find this story as compelling as some of her other novels. However, since these were five-star stories too, it is merely a matter of degree.

[Cryselle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Erastes throws the readers deep into the nineteenth century, immersing us in both battles and society. She has us living, smelling, and lurching through this time, and suffering right along with Mathias and Rudolph. On the eve of abandoning their previous lives and much else in order to be together, a battle injury steals Rudolph's memories and Mathias' hope. Muffled Drum plays with every emotion possible in rebuilding their lives.

Everyone has their own opinion of what is best for Rudolph—where he should go, what he should be told, what he should be allowed to see, in the expectation that being kept in the dark will improve his memory. Mathias doesn't know enough of Rudolph's life outside the army to keep him from making terrible gaffes, and when finally someone came along (bless you, Fritz) who will fill in some blanks in spite of prevailing wisdom, I wanted to shout with relief. Nineteenth century medicine – it's a wonder anyone survived contact with it, and Rudolph only slowly finds what he needs. I bled for him on nearly every page.

Mathias, however, needs a good hard shake. Young and thoughtless, he ignores important information and fails to think things through. His deep love and genuine concern aren't enough to make up for not thinking about what Rudolph might consider to be "current events," which predate their relationship. Still, he does what he perceives as best for Rudolph, acting without consulting, because he's been advised that way by experts and because of the demands of his own considerable sense of honor.

The well-drawn world and the very engaging characters should have kept me totally engrossed and very nearly did, but an issue of names kept intruding. Having to sort out references between a horse and a location was a minor irritant, but being repeatedly tossed into a camp movie by another horse's name kept me from settling as fully into the story as it deserved. Still, the golden moment where loss turns to hope brought tears to my eyes

[Larry Benjamin · Rating 4 out of 5]

What would you do if one day your beloved, otherwise himself, ceased to recognize you? It’s an intriguing dilemma and one that is at the center of Erastes’ Muffled Drum.

A fall from a horse and the resulting concussion changes everything for Captain Rudolph von Ratzlaff and First Lieutenant Mathias Hofmann. Rudolf is left with no memory of the previous two years, two years during which he and Mathias fell in love. Mathias is left anxious and unbalanced, unsure what to do. Here Erastes raises and answers the question of the nature of love: if your beloved doesn’t remember falling in love with you, but is otherwise himself, would he fall in love with you again? I won’t tell you the answer here for to do so would reveal too much about this remarkable story.

This historical romance, takes you away and away and away to Bohemia, 1866. Erastes paints a vivid picture of the Prussian battlefield: the smell of horse and damp and blood and desperation, the forging of a love hammered out of the shadow of war, the conflict between duty and desire. Erastes creates a world so completely enveloping that when, while reading, I took a sip of my drink I was surprised to taste a finely balanced, perfectly chilled Vesper martini instead of a Schnapps straight up.

Her prose is clean and spare yet full of depth as with “Warmth generated between them everywhere they touched, skin and cloth…a center of heat between them…”

Overall this was a very satisfying read full of wonderful well-drawn characters who move through a well crafted plot. I can’t wait to read her other books.

[Janna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally posted at Rarely Dusty Books

Genre & keywords:

M/M, Romance, Historical, Bohemia & Prussia, 1866, Soldiers, Battlefield, Aristocratic Berlin, Loss of Memory

Why I Recommend:

I absolutely loved the premise of this story and thought it was handled with care throughout the whole book. The amnesia Rudolph suffers from is such an agony for Mathias, especially since Rudolph only misses memories from the past two years. He believes he’s still with his ex-lover Ernst, which causes some extra tension and angst.
The historical setting makes Mathias’ pain even more unbearable because he cannot only not tell Rudolph the truth, but has to keep their relationship a secret for everybody else as well. I really felt for Mathias who was so lonely and hurt and yet very strong thanks to his love for Rudolph. I may have needed a tissue or two…
The author’s style and narrative skills made Muffled Drum an emotional page-turner for me.
My Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Recommended to Readers Who:

Like historical gay romances; love some angst and emotional tension; enjoy page-turners; don’t mind sex scenes that aren’t between the MCs; like stories about amnesia; don’t mind when one of the MCs is married; appreciate skillful writing.
~

[Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars ~ In a matter of moments, all of Mathias' hopes and dreams have been shattered. A knock on the head had stolen Rudolph's memory of the last two years and with it his devotion to his lover. Mathias is a stranger now. As much as he desires to tell Rudolph of their relationship, and that they had been about to embark on their own life together even though it was at great cost, Mathias is told by the field doctor that Rudolph should be allowed to remember naturally or the consequences could be dangerous to Rudolph's recovery. When Rudolph is forced to retire his commission as Captain, he believes Mathias also is being sent home because of his injuries. Travelling together and not fully understanding the time that has been lost to him, Rudolph admits that he is eager to see his lover in Berlin. Mathias immediately feels betrayed and begins to wonder if Rudolph ever truly planned a life with him.

I adore amnesia stories. Although Rudolph does not recover his memory at the end of this story, he does come to realize that Mathias is the man his heart belongs to. There are quite a few bumpy roads, one where Rudolph tests Mathias only to have that test blow up and nearly destroy everything. All in all, I enjoyed this love story very much.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Muffled Drum, is a work of art that someone really needs to study and internalize. When you have gotten the concept of trying your best to make the one you love remember the times of passion and bliss that you shared, without trying to cause a uneasiness is heart wrenching. That is what this book is about, and had me flipping its pages eagerly. The characters and written smoothly, as well as the imagery and feel of the location that she places the characters to be. Combine imagery and emotion with your mind and you can put together a heart pounding movie with all the emotion she wrote in the characters. This book is for those who know of a time in their life where the fear of being forgoten by someone who they loved deeply, frightened them to the core of their heart, and its also open to those who feel the need to learn a bit about, just how far they will go to test their love.

[Eve · Rating 5 out of 5]

A highly enagaing and page-turning historical romance, set in the Austro-Prussian war. As always, Erastes delivers the vivid historical details. Comparing to many other historical romance stories, I've always found Erastes' to be slightly more edgy, don't know if it's the right word, but even when she's writing a romance, there's gritty and uncompromising realism in it.

A loss of memory romance plot is always a risk, as the situation is usually helpless and it can easily frustrates readers. In this story, while I worry for the two heroes,(especially the one who hasn't lost his memory), the twist Erastes put in there makes it more heart-wrenching than agonizing. An absolute gem for historical romances.

[Nan Hawthorne · Rating 4 out of 5]

You might think amnesia could not be done in an original way, but Erastes manages it by omitting the recovery of memory. Officers Rudolph and Matthias are lovers just about to defy all convention and run off together in the middle of an active Prussian war. During the last battle Rudolph is thrown from his horse and loses two years of memory. Matthias is heartbroken and follows him back to Berlin hoping his memory will return. Instead Rudolph rekindles a bad relationship he has forgotten the end of. As said above, what makes this amnesia story different is that as far as one knows Rudolph may never regain his full memory, but all will not be lost if he and Matthias simply fall in love again. Just the refreshing setting of 19th century Prussia makes this novel well worth a read.

[Tamela · Rating 4 out of 5]

A rough story in the respect that Mathias gave up everything only to find that Rudolf had suffered an injury that derailed all their plans. I almost lost hope for them but circumstances worked to change things and Mathias returned to give their LANs a second chance. I think I'd like to have heard more a out how their future worked out for them. It may e I should just dream a little :). A good read and recommended to you history buffs :)

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

An engaging, fast-paced historical gay romance that isn't bogged down by issues of sexual orientation but focuses instead on two lovers dealing with amnesia and finding a way back to each other. I loved the setting, the details, and how the conflicts were resolved. Both main characters were lovely too.

[Blackravens Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

Muffled Drum by Erastes is wonderfully written character driven novel with a unique and fascinating story line. Mathias and Rudolph are vibrant protagonists who are three dimensional and immensely appealing. To read this review in its entirety, please visit http://www.blackravensreviews.com/?p=...

[Jenny T · Rating 4 out of 5]

Erastes is one of the best authors of historical m/m romance I've come across -- rich in historical atmosphere, with likeable characters and plenty of pathos. Good stuff. My only complaint about this tasty story was the too-pat ending (including the convenient death of Rudolph's wife).

[Ayanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

For some reason, historics=comfort food for me right now.

I thought the ending ended kind of quickly. The resolution also wasn't quite what I expected, in that it wasn't necessarily the most ideal of possible outcomes to happen, and with a hint of HFN tinging the happiness. Still, I rather liked it. Erastes writes good historics.

[Elin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not finished yet! So far so good :D

Super fight scenes, a sort of sympathetic villain and a HEA arrived at by rather convoluted means. Historical details appear to be spot on - I particularly liked the horses. Great fun with some tense moments.

[Booklovingirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book. Wish there were six stars. Authentic historical views and dialogue. Long buildup to the fun stuff, really creates tension. Plus that cover is beautiful enough to stare at for hours on end.

[Karin Wollina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, as I have all Erastes books. A very little Bit of nitpicking: the Reeperbahn is not in Berlin, but Hamburg...