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Play the Man: Becoming the Man God Created You to Be

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Play the man. Make the man.

Somewhere along the way, our culture lost its definition of manhood, leaving generations of men and men-to-be confused about their roles, responsibilities, relationships, and the reason God made them men. It's in this "no-man's-land" that New York Times bestselling author Mark Batterson declares his mantra for manhood: play the man.

In this inspiring call to something greater, he helps men understand what it means to be a man of God by unveiling seven virtues of manhood. Mark shares inspiring stories of manhood, including the true story of the hero and martyr Polycarp, who first heard the voice from heaven say, "Play the man." Mark couples those stories with practical ideas about how to disciple the next generation of men who will put God first, family second, and career third.

This is more than a book; it's a movement of men who will settle for nothing less than fulfilling their highest calling to be the man and the father God has destined them to be.


"Mark is an excellent expositor of God's Word, but in Play the Man he is showing us how to live it out. This book will take you out of your comfort zone to reach your God-given calling."--Carey Casey, National Center for Fathering

"Read this book and learn what it takes to be the man God created you to be. Here's the good news. You'll find out you already have what it takes. Let's go!"--Shaun Alexander, award-winning author of Touchdown Alexander and The Walk, 2005 NFL MVP, and host of the radio/podcast show Finish the Game

"Mark is one of my favorite writers, and he hits a grand slam with Play the Man."--Steve Foster, Colorado Rockies pitching coach

224 pages, Paperback

Published May 1, 2017

383 people are currently reading
976 people want to read

About the author

Mark Batterson

188 books1,115 followers
Mark Batterson is the lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, DC. One church in seven locations, NCC owns and operates Ebenezers Coffeehouse, The Miracle Theatre, and the DC Dream Center. NCC is currently developing a city block into The Capital Turnaround. This 100,000-square-foot space will include an event venue, child development center, mixed-use marketplace, and co-working space. Mark holds a Doctor of Ministry degree from Regent University and is the New York Times best-selling author of seventeen books, including The Circle Maker, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, Wild Goose Chase, Play the Man, Whisper, and, most recently, Double Blessing. Mark and his wife, Lora, live on Capitol Hill with their three children: Parker, Summer, and Josiah.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 143 reviews
Profile Image for Josh Wilkinson.
12 reviews4 followers
December 15, 2018
This is a strange book. It contains premises and Gospel teachings I can get behind, but...well.

1) The writing is not good. It’s overly simplistic, and the author uses way too many question marks and sure does love exclamation points! He says “Why? Because...” more times than I can count. It’s a cardinal sin for writers. Each chapter ends with the sentence “Play the man!” I wish I was kidding. It’s seemingly aimed at dads who do little reading and fill all their time watching sports because it reads a little like a pep talk from a coach. Which leads me to...

2) Sports analogies and clichés abound. Boy I hope your life revolves around sports. Mr. Batterson would like to exhaust the litany of sports analogies for you.

3) At its best, it’s a collection of good quotes and small interesting anecdotal stories, BUT they are by-and-large commonly known. I was already familiar with most of the stories and quotes going in. You get Gandhi, Teddy Roosevelt, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King, Jr., etc. I did add a book or two for my to-read list based on the author’s recommendations. He does seem to have good taste in books and authors (and presidents if Teddy Roosevelt is his favorite).

4) The discipleship element is weaker than I was hoping. He lays out the way he did it with his sons and, that’s about it...spoiler: he didn’t even execute on what he writes about. I’m not blaming the author, but the key problem I have with this Year of Discipleship approach is that it’d be more effective to change your everyday life and priorities and be Christ-centered than these consumerist adventure excursions. It’s so very modern America, I guess, to have some packaged plan rather than blow up your life in a way Christ calls us to...even the author admits struggling with life and priority balance, which is a huge issue for us fathers. Not sure what use a Rite of Passage is if the rest of life is chaos and unbalance.

I’m not sure answering his wife’s calls while giving a sermon is as wife-focused as he thinks it is...there’s a weird selfish spin on a lot of the things he says he’s done. Like the time he canceled a service because he had to coach his son’s basketball game. He calls it family focused, but...are we sure your interest in coaching had nothing to do with it? Many of the examples have this air of disingenuousness or shallowness. I believe the author has good intentions and believes what he says but man are some these examples weak. It’d be great if he went further than his personal experience and delved deeper, asking questions and finding solutions that could work for other people but maybe not him. But all we get here is the narrow scope of what he does or has done, and it’s not very compelling (at least not to me).

5) The worst part is the lost potential. There could have been something here. I think his head is on straight and he has good ideas. But I am clearly not the audience for who he was writing this book for. Or, better yet, we find an editor who tells him “no” on some of these questionable writing decisions. I think many will find things to like here, but it’s so incomplete and inconsistent and infuriatingly chaotic that I found myself reading as fast as I could to have it over with. I got some truth nuggets, they are in there. But I also got frustration and annoyance.

I will add too, that there are a few instances I vehemently disagreed with. For instance, he stressed the importance of staying busy to avoid sin. But rest and being still and having a simple life is such an important part of the Christian experience I don’t even know where to start. Even he disagrees with himself somewhat, saying, I paraphrase: Stay busy, push yourself, but don’t be a workaholic! And then we move on to the next thing (maybe a sports analogy??) he wants to add an exclamation point to.

Yes, this book annoyed me, I’m sorry to say. I would suggest reading this book maybe a few pages at a time, certainly no more than a chapter at a time. I read it in 3 sittings, so the flaws and redundancies slapped me in the face pretty hard.

I write this book review with love for both you and the author and with the hope that Christian self-help books can grow up and out and be better and deeper.

TLDR; I enjoyed the book through Chapter 2. Needs heavy editing and more in depth analysis. If you’re looking for a quick gateway into living more bravely and taking your son with you, there are better books I’d recommend. But this is a nice crash course on some famous stories for the non-reader who likes sports and often watches them on TV.
6 reviews1 follower
February 3, 2023
A laid-back but insightful challenge to step up your game, especially as a dad. Great illustrations and quotes by great men, and it left me with a desire to follow God closer, love better, and 'play the man'.
Profile Image for Will Howell.
30 reviews1 follower
April 29, 2017
In a world where manhood is challenged and a society that diminishes the role of the father, this book is a welcomed treasure to remind the man that they were created to be. At the end of this review, there are pictures for you to use with quotes throughout the book along with the links to buying the book, getting the FREE YouVersion Bible Study, and the video introduction of the book.

In Play the Man, Mark Batterson tackles the topic of manhood with seven virtues of a true man.

1. Tough as Nails

It takes courage to do something that no one else wants to do. Batterson capitalized on the story of Charles Lindbergh who traveled in the Spirit of St. Louis across the Atlantic Ocean in 1927. Without fail, this story reflected on the tough attitude of Lindbergh and tied Batterson's vision of toughness in the Christian man. One of the major points that I took away was a quote in the first chapter saying "Most of our problems are first-world problems. " Batterson believes that we, as men, must toughen up. Perhaps not in the physical sense but in the spiritual sense. The premise to show us that we need to take up our cross daily and follow Christ. In addition, our heart is to be tough as well. Not hardened, but to have tough love.

Another area is anger. "The key is getting angry about the right thing, at the right time, in the right way." writes Batterson. So often, authors avoid the part where Jesus got angry with those in the temple. Batterson does not miss a beat talking about the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. Jesus' decision was not to offend those that were following him or appease those who did not agree with him however it was to offend the Pharisees. It was to buck the system.

Batterson ends the chapter with talking about being toughskinned and the fact that real men cry. It almost seems oxymoronic to say those two things in one sentence. However, it is the hope that we can become more thick skinned and have the same heart for things that break the heart of God. Becoming thick skinned doesn't mean becoming calloused. It means being able to quickly forgive an offense and calibrating your heart to break for the things that reach God's heart.

2. A Gentleman and a Scholar

This is prehaps my favorite chapter. I love learning which is one of the reasons that I enjoy reviewing books. This chapter talks about being filled with childlike wonder. Teddy Roosevelt is the featured gentleman in this chapter. He grew up frail and sickly, but took matters in his own hands when he began to build his body and his mind.

One of the attitributes that drew me to learn about Theodore Roosevelt is his love to learn. He would read an average of 500 books per year - including while he was President of the United States! Wow! The quote that stood out in this chapter from John Naisbitt is "Learning how to learn is the most precious thing we have in life." The art of learning does not merely stop at college but is an ongoing process in life. Webster's dictionary defines being a gentleman is "a man who treats other people in a proper and polite way."

Batterson highlights briefly the rite of passage for his sons. Through this rite of passage, he took one of them to Roosevelt Island where there is a stone of his speach on Youth and Manhood. "All daring and courage, all ironed endurance of misfortune make for a finer and nobler type of manhood." This is the premise of the entire book. He revealed something that I never thought about. I was always under the impression that God wants us to simply grow up and get on with life. Out of 1 Corinthians 13:11, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I reasonsed like a child. When I became an man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." In putting childhood behind us, we assume that are to lose our childlike wonder. However it is far from true.

He expounds on this from how we should become more childlike instead of childish. To be childish is to be selfish and self centered. However, to be childlike is to have wonder and to be available to learn more. Our moments are not filled with minutes spent but moments spent.

3. Unbroken

Batterson covers the topic of will power in this chapter. Whether it is will power to not sin or will power to not overeat, the heart behind it is this simple quote from Pastor Jack Hayford, "make decisions against yourself." Meaning, make a decision against your flesh! The premise of this chapter is that will power helps you to be response-able to the things that are going on in your life. Vikor Frankl said "Everything can be taken from a man, but one thing: the last of human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given circumstances." As a man, there is a choice to make on how we approach the circumstances that we are in and be okay with delayed gratification, avoiding temptation, and being filled with integrity.

4. The Three-Headed Dragon

Raw passion – it's a long, lost art in today's men. Muted by work and the mundane, men no longer find the enthusiasm that comes with being a man. Perhaps the quote from Eugene Peterson regarding John Muir; “a standing rebuke against becoming a mere spectator to life, preferring creature comfort to Creator confrontation.” Muir was not a spectator to life but a proud participant. The Three-Headed dragon that Batterson talks about are dragons that keep us from being full of that raw passion. The Dragon of Doubt keeps us wondering, the Dragon on Apathy lulls us to sleep, and the Dragon of lust keeps us wanting something more. Each of these dragons have an attribute that steal us away from raw passion.

5. Sockdolager

In this chapter, Batterson talks about True Grit which he defines as “resilience in the face of rejection, fortitude in the face of fear. It's a no guts, no glory approach to life, even in the face of impossible odds.” We are in a place in our lives that, like the previous chapter mentions, we are lulled to sleep with apathy. We don't want to do the hard things. We want to do the easy thing. This chapter is stocked full of stories and antidotes from stories about Dwight Eisenhower to himself about True Grit.

The goal of a man comes from Genesis 1:28 which says “fill the earth and subdue it.” Through this, Batterson covers the topics on how to speak, how to be a good steward in every avenue in our lives, teamwork, and not settling down.

6. Born for the Storm

We are each called for a purpose and with a vision for our lives. Andrew Jackson said of his life “I was born for the storm and the calm does not suit me.” Why? There is no action – there is no leader. We are stagnant without some sort of storm in our lives. Batterson calls men to embrace the storms in their lives instead of running from them. As men, Batterson shares that we need friends, strength from God to stand faithful and be strong, to have a mission, and retreat.

Batterson talks also about a vision retreat. The goal is to take your family's goals and vision, go away for a very short time, and find the key components through prayer and preparation. Through this, it will help a man to find what is important in his life and sustain a healthy balancing act in his family. One of the biggest takeaways for me was this phrase; “Boredom is often the first sign of sin.” When we don't have a mission or a vision, we get bored and we stray into sin. Batterson said it frankly, “When you stop building altars to God, you start building monuments to yourself.”

7. Call of Duty

It takes moral courage to be a man of God. He has put a compass in you called the Holy Spirit and in men, this compas guides us through His power to do the right thing. There are several places that Batterson takes us; Washing feet like Jesus instead of washing our hands like Pilate, the Sin of Silence, Modeling, the Moral Compass, the power of conformity, and the courage of confession. We battle these areas with bold humility, having a “crash helmet”, and offensive plays.

Batterson spends the rest of the book dictating the Rite of Passage for a young man into adulthood. The first thing he tackles is being famous in his own home meaning that he wants to put his family ahead of everything else, aside from God. In addition, he talks about being a prayer warrior and a warrior for the kingdom. Showing these things helps guide father to help mentor/disciple the son. For the final chapters, Batterson speaks on the discipleship of his sons. This portion of the book is an intimate look into his life through guiding his sons into the entrance to manhood. “We must give our sons a clear definition, a clear picture, of manhood.”

The rite of passage is different between the different cultures. However, each of them spend an inordinate amount of time making sure that the boy knows when he becomes a man. It is clearly shown to him. They are a defining moment! Here's a great quote from E. M. Bounds, “Men are God's method, the Church is looking for better methods; God is looking for better men.” Our jobs as fathers are to create better men! Creating better men doesn't mean we define their faults but we celebrate their character. “We don't find our identity in what we have done for God. We find our identity in what Christ has done for us.” Wow. How profound.

In closing, I'd like to quote Batterson's final thought “When you play the man, when you make the man you are lighting a candle for the next generation – a candle that shall never be put out.”

I gave this book a 5 out of 5 stars for the content and the flow. Exceptional!

Each of these virtues and thoughts are captured through both the Bible and history. Recently, I was approached to read and review Play the Man as part of a launch team. I have had the honor to doing so for Mark's book Chase the Lion and Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze's book Smart Money, Smart Kids. Each time I have this opportunity, I enjoy sharing the attributes that I found throughout the book. But there is one thing that you can't do just by reading this review is getting the complete feel of the book. You can order your copy today to get the full feel of it!
Author 1 book69 followers
May 26, 2017
Filled with Interesting Stories.
*A.J. Jacobs set out to be the smartest person in the world.
*President Teddy Roosevelt read an average of 500 books a year.
*Rite of Passage
*Why Yellowstone needs wolves.
*Polycarp the Martyr
*1943, B-24 Bomber, the Green Hornet (Unbroken)
*What will delayed gratification do for you.
*Had not Washington crossed the Delaware with his army undetected, there may not have been an America.
*His son's Rite of Passage.

Sayings Found in the Book: "You may not be able to control your circumstances, but you can control your reactions to them."
"Single-minded as a buzz saw." Said of John Wesley Powell, the man who ventured into the Grand Canyon when thought to be impossible.
"I want my children to live according to their consciences, their convictions."
"You can't fully appreciate what you've not personally experienced."

This book will challenge you into forward motion. The life-changing messages continued with me throughout the day. Not only did I think about the lessons, I tried to figure out ways to make the story my own.

Excellent read. I highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Sam.
489 reviews30 followers
April 2, 2019
Excellent book on principles of Christian masculinity, followed up with practical discipleship and rites of passage ideas for boys (physical, spiritual, and intellectual challenges). Great stories, although the author's style is a bit clichéd at times. Good read to take and apply.
Profile Image for AJ Wilson.
54 reviews
February 8, 2024
This book opened my eyes to the things I need to work on as a man, and gave me some tough love. The reason why certain things don’t happen in your life the way you want them to is because you have to get after it. Mark Batterson laid it out how to be a godly man and he didn’t hold his punches, there are some hard (and Biblical) truths so if you’re not ready to become the Man that God called you to be, this book isn’t for you. But if you’re ready to fight for your children, fight for your wife and family this will open your eyes and will call you to action. Tremendous read.

Book Score 10/10
Profile Image for Jonah Sloup.
15 reviews
June 5, 2024
A bit clunky at times, but some insightful nuggets on intentional Fatherhood
Profile Image for Sally the Salamander.
307 reviews6 followers
March 31, 2017
I had to read and summarize this for my job, but although I read through it very quickly and didn't have time to think or dwell on it too much, I don't think this impacts my review much.

Young boys could read this book, but it's really meant for fathers or soon-to-be fathers to read. Mothers could get something from this, but really, it's for the fathers. Batterson does a good job of explaining how essential it is to be a father that is there for your son, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He goes through the virtues of manhood and how you can instill them in your son (or yourself, if you find that you are lacking).

The concept of creating a rite of passage for your son is an interesting one. At first, I wasn't totally on board, but by the end of the book I had warmed up to it and could see its merit. I'm still unsure on writing up a covenant for yourself and your son, or creating a coat of arms. I could see a lot of kids thinking that's dorky or nerdy or whatever. If I was a young boy and my father did something like that, I might find it a little weird. Depends on your kid, I guess.

A good book for fathers on how to approach parenting their sons and raising men. Definitely recommended.
Profile Image for Bob.
50 reviews
July 22, 2017
Play the Man describes seven virtues and how to share them with the next generation. What sets this book apart from similar books is that it addresses qualities necessary to be a modern man and the discipleship of a son. The portion on discipleship is like a condensed Raising a Modern Day Knight. Batterson describes a one year course with physical, mental, and spiritual components.
Profile Image for Jalynn Patterson.
2,216 reviews37 followers
May 2, 2017
About the Book:

Somewhere along the way, our culture lost its definition of manhood, leaving generations of men and men-to-be confused about their roles, responsibilities, relationships, and the reason God made them men. It's into this "no man's land" that New York Times bestselling author Mark Batterson declares his mantra for manhood: play the man.
In this inspiring call to something greater, he helps men understand what it means to be a man of God by unveiling seven virtues of manhood. Mark shares inspiring stories of manhood, including the true story of the hero and martyr Polycarp, who first heard the voice from heaven say, "Play the man." Mark couples those stories with practical ideas about how to disciple the next generation of men. This is more than a book; it's a movement of men who will settle for nothing less than fulfilling their highest calling to be the man and the father God has destined them to be. Play the man. Make the man.


My Review:

This book couldn't have come at a better time. We are a family of 6, four of those being male. My husband has had a tough life and raising those boys has taken some definite relying on God. He grew up with father figures but neither of them being the exact replica he would like displayed and lived out in front of his children. I have realized over the past few years that to live out a Godly man for our children has been very difficult for him. He was raised a certain way and he tends to go back to those old ways to discipline our children.



I plan on giving him this book as a fathers day gift. He so wants to disciple and raise our children in a loving, Christian home. He wants our boys to do the same with their children. We never realized the importance of it until our children were older. There are things that will matter above all else. There will be things that you want your children to take away when they leave home to raise families of their own. God being in the center is important. He made those children and He knows better than anybody what they need and how they need it.



Mark Batterson, again rising to the call that the males of our society need strong male role models has written a book for these mentors to become better and better through God's guidance. Mark starts this journey from the story of Polycarp and with lessons and advice from several different sources he has placed hope in many of us that see this as nothing but a positive.



The author lists 7 virtues that all mean can use to becoming the man that God wishes them to be. Mark uses examples from various sources to teach us on the subject. Its a fascinating read and its available just in time for Father's Day. I loved it!



**Disclosure** This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest review from the author. All opinions are my own.
Profile Image for Jeff.
27 reviews5 followers
June 28, 2017
(Disclaimer: I received a free copy as a potential source for men's ministry curriculum for my church)

I'm a fan and believer in Mark Batterson's work. In a Pit with Lion and Circle Maker are excellent books. I was excited to read this, but also a bit nervous where it would go. Thankfully, it stayed away from some of the usual macho junk, but it did seem a little shallow.

I'm giving it 3 stars since I did enjoy it. There were passages here that were very powerful and valuable while also some shallow and a little too secular. Using the racist Andrew Jackson as an example really was a poor choice of a "man".

This did feel a little light as if the deeper material is in the companion curriculum. That's not necessarily a criticism here but worth pointing out.

I wish it had deeper Biblical male examples and maybe less about the physical stuff for being a "man". I can see where he's coming from and maybe it's just I relate better to the more analytical side. There is a LOT here about lists and goals and tracking things. It could be that is something that I should try to use more or maybe it's just not my style.

The bottom line is I think it's worth checking out as there is some value here, but I'm not sold or sure yet on using this for a group study curriculum. Time for some prayer for that decision I guess.
Profile Image for Micah Fisher.
9 reviews
February 4, 2025
This was more of a 3.5/5 in my mind.

The first few chapters of this were deeply impactful, and I feel like I read them exactly when I needed to. There were challenges given there that I truly believe will stick with me and will start long-lasting changes.

That being said, after the first 4 or so chapters the book really felt like it lost steam. It became more and more generic, and also seemed to rely more on telling stories that providing depth.

In the end though, I look forward to revisiting the book, especially given how easy of a read it was. I think it will be valuable to return to it as my children continue to get older.
Profile Image for Nicholas LaPoint.
1 review
May 5, 2017
Well worth the read

This is a good book for men on 7 basic traits to becoming a man that stands for something. The first part is just the 7 values and in part two explains the process as a father mentoring his son(s). This is a book intended for men's devotion but the values work for both sexes. Mark use examples from history to portray values and backs it up with scripture.
Profile Image for Marko Biljanic.
1 review3 followers
May 27, 2017
This was moving. Mark's ability to bring otherwise deeply theological concepts to a daily application of growing in God as a man is impeccable. This hit me between the eyes and truly gave me a new sense of priority. Play the man!
Profile Image for Bob.
2,461 reviews725 followers
October 3, 2017
Summary: Discusses seven virtues that distinguishes men from boys, and how Christian fathers can help sons navigate the passage from youth to manhood.

“He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.” –Malachi 4:6

Mark Batterson believes we are facing a crisis of manhood in our culture. We neither know how to “play the man” nor how to “make the man” and these two phrases become kind of a mantra for Batterson’s vision of recovering a truly Christian manhood, and particularly, the crucial work of helping boys make the passage to manhood. Citing the verse above, Batterson lays the major responsibility for this latter task not on teachers, or youth workers, or pastors, but on fathers. But in order to “make the man,” one must “play the man.”

Batterson draws this phrase from the words Polycarp heard facing martyrdom in the Colosseum: “Be strong, Polycarp. Play the man.” Batterson believes one “plays the man” when one embraces and lives out seven virtues:

Tough Love: a love willing to go to the cross for one they love, to forgive the offender, and to weep when faced with brokenness.

Childlike Wonder: the sense of adventure and child-like curiosity typified by Teddy Roosevelt who read voraciously and explored just as voraciously, and whose wonder translates into humble worship.

Will Power: the ability to defer gratification, to say “no” to desire to say “yes” to a life of integrity.

Raw Passion: “An insatiable energy that motivates you to live each day like it’s the first day and last day of your life.” He believes this comes as one defeats the three-headed dragon of doubt, apathy, and lust.

True Grit: Commending the example of the one-armed explorer of the American West, John Wesley Powell, he talks about the physical and mental toughness that is characterized as resilience.

Clear Vision: Real men live out of a vision of a life well-lived, shaped by the mission of Jesus and they give themselves to instilling that vision in their families.

Moral Courage: He argues that Jesus didn’t die to keep us safe but to make us dangerous, which begins by choosing to wash feet and taking responsibility to serve rather than washing our hands of responsibility.

Batterson takes a chapter to explore each of these virtues, illustrating them from historical figures. One of the things I appreciated was that he incorporates honesty about where we fall short into discussions of each of these virtues, as well as illustrations from his own life. He also stresses that while he is speaking to men, by no means does he limit these virtues to men. I appreciated the fact that he seeks to encourage his daughter as well as his two sons in developing these qualities and a physical, mental and spiritual fiber, that included preparing to do the Alcatraz swim with his daughter.

The second part of the book focuses on “making the man”–how fathers may help their sons make this passage to virtuous manhood. Mostly, what he does is share what he did with his two sons in developing a discipleship covenant that included physical, mental, and spiritual challenges and that culminates in a rite of passage which included both an ordeal (a rafting trip down the Colorado River with one son, and a rim to rim hike of the Grand Canyon with the other) and a ceremony marking the passage with a blessing.

I suspect some women reading this may be uneasy about a book like this. Is this yet another assertion of male power over women? I don’t see evidence of this. I would like to have seen him add a virtue of respectful partnership with women to make this more explicit. What I see him addressing is the phenomenon of boys running around in men’s bodies, either passive or playing macho games of sexual conquest. His book is a call to character, and to the critical role fathers, or significant male mentors, can play in helping boys become men of character, of virtue.

I do hear overtones of John Eldridge and the “wild at heart” phenomenon. The question I would press with Batterson is whether this is simply a male need, or rather that all of us, both men and women are meant to live “dangerously” in Christ. I’ve had the privilege to work alongside women who are strong leaders equally ready to take God-sized risks. I actually think one of the most exhilarating experiences a leader can have is to work within teams with strong leaders of both genders who see leadership as not about power but partnership in serving the people of God in pursuit of the kingdom of God. Equally, I’m convinced that the best marriages are marked by two mature people mutually serving each other and pursuing God’s call together. While I would have liked Batterson to make that more explicit as something critical to the discipleship of our sons, his call to men to “play the man” and to fathers to “make the man” is one that I think is desperately needed in our day.

____________________________

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
Profile Image for Mary Lou.
228 reviews10 followers
May 19, 2017
Soundbite:
“Playing the man is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. A close second is making the man, but that’s what makes it noble. It takes tough love, childlike wonder, willpower, raw passion, true grit, clear vision, and moral courage. At points you’ll wonder if you’ll ever make it. Those are the moments when you must strive valiantly and dare greatly as a father. If you do, you’ll make a man…You’ll get out of fatherhood what you put into it” (Mark Batterson, Play The Man: Becoming the Man God Created You To Be, Baker Books, 2017, p. 196).

Review:
Mark Batterson's book Play the Man is an important book for men who want to influence their world. His goal is to help men disciple those who come after them—their sons, those they mentor, younger men in leadership. He describes 7 virtues that every godly man should possess or at least develop. But perhaps the most significant contribution of Batterson's book is his concept of the Discipleship Covenant he created for his sons as an initiation into manhood. That initiation was a yearlong discipleship process with him in the areas of physical development, mental development, and spiritual development. His goals in each of those 3 areas were to stretch his sons to develop the virtues of manhood he espouses. It's a very intentional approach to discipling one's children. Batterson has set the bar very high for them and, of course, for himself as the father who has to model all of the things he is asking his sons to do. The book will challenge those who read it.

Batterson's style is a unique combination of stories from his own experience in these areas coupled with a plethora of examples from men in history. He has done his research. May contemporary men rise to this challenge. 5 stars.
M.L. Codman-Wilson, Ph.D., 5/19/2017

Excerpts:
"Do you have a mission statement for your life? What about a vision statement for your marriage? How about core values for your family? Or what about life goals or a life plan? Men need something to fight for, something to fight against. It's how we survive the storms that are bound to batter us now and then" (Mark Batterson, Play The Man: Becoming the Man God Created You To Be, Baker Books, 2017, p. 122).

"The only way you become great at anything is by making decisions against yourself…The secret to sinning less is dreaming more! You need a God-sized dream that is bigger and better than whatever sinful temptation you face” (pp. 67, 71).

“Our most sacred responsibility as fathers is to help our sons play the man. Commission your son with a Discipleship Covenant and give him a Rite of Passage…The goal of the discipleship process is to make a man of God. And that takes more than a father; it takes a spiritual father” (p. 156, 182).
“The Holy Spirit gives us the moral courage to confess our sin and profess our faith. He gives us the courage to attempt things we cannot do in our own strength. He gives us the courage to play the man no matter what, no matter when, no matter where!” (p. 148).
Profile Image for Sunshine Rodgers.
Author 15 books421 followers
November 24, 2024
I love reading Mark Batterson books! My copy of "Play the Man" is signed by the Author! I was very excited to read this book!

I am a woman without any children, and I am reading a book about manhood and raising sons to become Men of God. With that said, I still gleaned and gained wisdom from this book!

"The Word of God is preventative medicine for whatever ails you. Take a daily dose" (pg. 48).

In "Play the Man," Batterson shares historical events, passages/quotes from Inspirational books and leaders, bible verses, personal experiences and even life photos.

"If you want God's best, you can't just say no to what's wrong. You have to say no to second best" (pg. 66).

Part One is called: Play the Man. The author talks about the seven virtues of manhood - tough love, childlike wonder, will power, raw passion, true grit, clear vision, and moral courage. In Part One, he ends every chapter with three words: Play the man!

Part Two is called: Make the Man. Mark shares the Discipleship Covenant he crafted for his sons which involved a Physical challenge, an Intellectual challenge and a Spiritual challenge. Batterson talks about the Year of Discipleship and the Rite of Passage for Josiah and Parker when they were pre-teens. In Part Two, he ends every chapter with three words: Make the man!

"Revival always starts in the heart, in the home. Then, and only then, does it spread to cities and nations" (pg. 158).

In Chapter six, the author encourages his readers to form a vision statement, focusing on core values for the family. Mark shares the Batterson family mantras, like: Choose your battles wisely, Fess up when you mess up, and Your focus determines your reality.

"We live in a culture where it's wrong to say something is wrong. And I think that's wrong!" (pg. 34).

"Moral courage isn't swayed by public opinion or a Supreme Court decision. Our plumb line is Scripture, plain and simple!" (pg. 144).

Batterson answers a few Q&A's about this subject as well as refers the readers to www.playtheman.com for additional resources and free downloads.

*Disclaimer: In some of the historical examples of Christian Martyrs or war victims and other survivors, some of the stories can be graphic or emotionally difficult to read. AND if you are a Mark Batterson avid reader like me, in "Play the Man" the author repeats some of his sage advice that he uses in his other books.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Christian Fiction Addiction.
689 reviews333 followers
July 21, 2017
Us men may not know exactly how it happened, but we are now living in a culture that seems ever more confused about what it means to be male or female, where masculine traits and characteristics not only seem undervalued but mocked! Most men struggle to even clearly know what it means to be a man! Mark Batterson rises to the challenge in stellar fashion, clearly laying out the virtues of manhood with a clear Biblical basis for each one. The writing is clear and easy to read, and I guarantee that even if you are one of those guys who prefers the movie to the book, who struggles to get through a couple novels per year, you are going to love this book! Batterson has put in countless stories and illustrations that kept my attention in each chapter. And I greatly appreciate that the author doesn't hesitate to take on the most sensitive of subjects, even broaching the issue of sex and temptations that guys struggle with. He provides clear guidelines on how to be the man, to battle on with God's power, to seek more of the Holy Spirit in our lives. I love his encouragement to fight for our marriages, to fight for our children, to refuse to stay selfish, and to even "invade some hellholes with the light and love of Jesus Christ"! And I absolutely love the idea of the Discipleship Covenant, providing a clear marker in your child's life that they can look back on about their journey to adulthood. As a dad myself who has a son racing towards manhood faster than I am prepared for, I truly take the words of this book to heart. Not only does this book clearly outline my own calling as a man, but it will shape how I call out my son to be a man after God's heart as well.

I truly can't recommend this book enough, and award it 5 out of 5 stars. "Play the Man" is chock-full of challenging words that will have readers closely examining the choices they've made in their own lives, and they will put down the book determined to be the men of God that God is calling them to be. Men, read this book!

Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
Profile Image for Aaron.
36 reviews5 followers
February 3, 2021

You can feel Mr. Batterson's enthusiasm for his topic. As the father of two boys myself, I completely understand. This book is imminently quotable and I made pages of highlights. Some of my favorites are:


When I say “tough as nails,” this is what I mean. It’s the epitome of toughness. Being a tough guy doesn’t mean sticking up for yourself when you get offended. A true tough guy sacrifices himself for the sake of others.

A big man knows how small he is, and that sense of smallness makes him appreciate how big God is.

Churches are filled with rim huggers who feel like they've done their religious duty by sitting in a pew for sixty minutes. Listen, you cannot be the hands and feet of Jesus if you're sitting on your butt. Church is not a spectator sport. And neither is fatherhood.

We want joy without sacrifice. We want character without suffering. We want success without failure. We want gain without pain. We want a testimony without a test. We want it all, without going all in. It doesn't work that way, and you know it.

My only criticisms are some of the Wikipedia-level background research. Also, he only give passing credit to his predecessors in the topic who's ideas are synthesized. As I said earlier though, you can tell that Mr. Batterson is fully enthralled with his topic. This enthusiasm makes it fresh, readable, and actionable for all Christian men.


I work with a Trail Life troop at my church and this would be a great book for the boys working on their Worthy Life award or for a group read-through by the adult leadership.

Profile Image for Dan Crichlow.
54 reviews
November 22, 2023
Play the man:
1. Tough as nails
1. Be mentally, tough. The Limburg family. Have tough love, meaning, be willing to be nailed to cross for those you love. Is your version of Christianity worth dying for?
2. If you are afraid of offending people, you will offend God, if you are afraid of offending God, you will offend people.
2. A gentleman and a scholar.
1. Childlike wonder. How can you become more childlike, while at the same time, become less childish?
3. Unbroken
1. Willpower (careful). I am responsible. If you want to be great, make decisions against yourself.
2. To stop sinning you don’t try to sin less you get a bigger vision. Instead of watching porn, you get a bigger vision for your marriage.
4. The three headed dragon
1. Passion. Be passionate in life. Be baptized in the spirit, fire, and manhood.
2. Fight the three headed dragon - doubt, apathy, lust. ————- most of satan’s lies are half truths.
5. True grit.
1. Keep going. Stretch yourself.
2. Do stuff that challenges you. Be dangerous.
6. Born for the storm.
1. Clear vision. Get a vision for life. Get a vision statement for your family. It’s impossible to lead your family without knowing where you want to take them.
7. Call of duty.
1. Moral courage. Silence is cowardly. People think it’s wrong to say something is wrong, and that’s wrong.
2. Turn the other cheek, but don’t turn the other way.
8. Set the groundwork
1. Be the example.
9. The discipleship covenant.
1. Three challenges - physical, mental, and spiritual. Complete tasks for each one. Lasts one year.
1 review
May 20, 2017
Mark Batterson is one of my favorite authors and his latest book did not disappoint. While I think it would be a helpful read for any parent, it is clearly targeted to men, and in particular fathers of sons. As a father of three children, but only one son, I was challenged by this book to think about how I raise my children. Honestly I will apply much of this to all of my children, but I especially intend to proactively apply it to my son.

Batterson is a master story-teller and this book is full of stories and anecdotes to support the seven virtues in Part 1 of the book (Play The Man). Part 2 of the book (Make The Man) gives the real life "How" behind the "Why" of Part 1. In this section Mark talks about how he instilled these virtues in his sons during their year of discipleship which was part of his intentional engagement with them leading up to a special "rite of passage" adventure for their 13th birthday.

The importance of fatherhood in children's lives has been routinely dismissed by popular culture over the last several decades with father's often being portrayed as the out-of-touch imbeciles or overbearing jerks. Unfortunately many father's resemble these portrayals leading to a generation of kids yearning for an involved father who is a positive influence and role model. Batterson reminds us of why fatherhood is important and gives a great resource for father's to reflect on how they are currently doing as fathers, and how they might want to up their game as they learn better how to Play the Man.
Profile Image for Dan.
180 reviews9 followers
June 16, 2017
What makes a man? Many people have tried to give an understanding of what it is to be a man. Some have pointed to ancient cultures of warriors, politicians, and leaders. Others point to modern man and the ability to climb the corporate ladder and be successful in business. Still others point to athletics or the military to prove their masculinity.

In his book, Play The Man, Mark Batterson gives seven virtues that make a man. He does this by drawing references from scripture and pointing to how God designed men to be and how this fulfills the purpose for which they were created.

The area that really stuck out to me was that a man should not shirk his responsibilities to others. He is responsible to God, to his wife, and to his family. He is not to abdicate in anyway these responsibilities to the government, to others, or to no one at all.

This challenge is really beneficial to me because I am a father of three and want to be active in the development of my children. Sometimes it is easy to just watch sports and remove myself from their world. But having these challenges in my life to remind me that they are much more important than a sports game is something that I need consistently.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher and exchange for my honest review.
Profile Image for Adrienna.
Author 18 books242 followers
September 10, 2017
Coincidently, I happen to order this book and started reading this book to find out that my church will also share this read in its Men's Group the month of September. It took about 3-4 weeks to finish which reading other reads. However, I highlighted many points in this book. There was some things to consider.

My anticipation for reading this book was to find out how men are actually created to be. Sadly, there are not many good examples of a godly-like men. There are many whom say they love the Lord Jesus, or believe in him, yet do not live by the example. I work around vast amount of men who do not know who they are or created to be since most of them are serving life sentences. Overall, I was hoping to find if this material could be resourceful and see if I can start a future group entitled Play the Man or something to empower these men who have lost their way. This will be one of the reads and would like to see how this book can be resourceful as well as inspirational. I prefer to see men transform than just be informed.

The book also had examples from historical figures including the author himself. Some were inspirational, informative, but others I bypassed to read the author's voice again.

Adrienna Turner
Author of Begin with Christ
Profile Image for Richard Angelus.
180 reviews2 followers
November 1, 2019
Before I read it, when I first saw the title of this book, it reminds me of many Bible verses such as 2 Samuel 10:12 where Joab told Abishai, “Be of good courage and let us play the men for our people…”; 1 Kings 2:2 when David encouraged Solomon to “be strong and act like a man…”; and 1 Corinthians 16:13 as Paul reminded the Christian men at Corinth to “be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men…”

It also reminds me of the Church fathers such as Polycarp when he was about to be executed a voice from heaven said to him, “Be strong, Polycarp. Play the man.” When Hugh Latimer, Nicholas Ridley, and Thomas Cranmer were also persecuted for their faith, Cranmer said to Ridley for the last time, “Be of good comfort, Master Ridley, and play the man.” Play the man, act like a man, being a man. I’m so pumped up by the title of this book that I bought it without first browsing it through. To buy the book (and desire to read it), I thought, is already a manly act!

To read my short review of Mark Batterson's Play the Man: Becoming the Man God Created You to Be (2017), CLICK HERE: https://www.richardangelus.me/2018/08...
Profile Image for Ben.
2,737 reviews233 followers
April 13, 2023
Logic Masculinity

Get ready to play the man, because this book is a game changer!

Batterson delivers an inspiring message that challenges men to embrace their God-given identity and purpose.
With insightful and practical advice, Play the Man provides a roadmap for becoming the man that God created you to be.

Batterson covers topics such as fatherhood, leadership, and spiritual growth with honesty and humor, making this book both relatable and enjoyable to read. He emphasizes the importance of character and integrity, encouraging men to live with honor and purpose.

As a non-parent, I found the section on raising good kids interesting, but not entirely useful for me. But it will be extremely helpful for when coaching / volunteering.

Batterson shares personal stories and practical tips for teaching children important values and life skills.

Overall, Play the Man is a must-read for any man looking to live a life of significance and impact.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to grow in their faith and become the man God created them to be.

4.7/5
9 reviews1 follower
September 30, 2021
Society, especially men, need more uplifting books that encourage the qualities discussed in this book. The answers to the world's problems is strong families including a faithful and loving father (when possible). Two thoughts... first, the author talked about "bold humility" but there is already a single word for what he was describing. It is the most underappreciated and misunderstood word in scripture. Meekness! "Matthew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." The quality of meekness has become my favorite as I have learned more about it. Here is a good resource... "8 ways meekness is not weakness" by Eric Murdock. Here is one more..."Meek and Lowly of Heart" by David Bednar. My second thought is that I wish he would have talked more about "playing the man" with daughters. That's not a criticism. I just think it was a missed opportunity. I have three daughters and I imagine they need different strategies, especially in adolescence.
Profile Image for Paige Gordon.
Author 6 books70 followers
December 14, 2017
In my experience, a lot of books on manhood are just kinda blah and aren't something I'd really go out and recommend to guys I know. This is NOT one of those books! This book was awesome. The Seven Pilars of manhood that Mark talks about really resonated with me and I found myself underlining and marking up the vast majority of the pages. I think this book would encourage and inspire any man to put in the hard work necessary to become more of who God created him to be. Highly recommended!

Favorite Quote: "A man discovers who he is in the wild. He also discovers who God is. Even Jesus went off the grid for forty days. you have to put yourself in situations where everything is stripped away, where nothing is scripted. You have to put yourself at the mercy of the element and test your limits. That's how you discover what you're capable of and, more important, what God is capable of. That's how boys become men and men become men of God."
Profile Image for Daniel.
15 reviews4 followers
April 7, 2021
This was the first Mark Batterson book I've ever read, and I gotta say - it was exactly what I needed. It's not your typical "biblical manhood" kind of book. He addresses key virtues that every man (or really every person) should develop, including childlike wonder and true grit - two virtues you rarely hear about together. I never felt like he was making me question my manhood. He simply challenges us to keep going on the journey God has given us.

What I really appreciate is the second section of the book - Make the Man. As a father of two young boys, this was exactly the kind of inspiration I need to help my sons on their own path toward manhood. His ideas about a "year of discipleship" are invaluable.

I think this book did for me what "Wild At Heart" was supposed to do. This is a great book for individual men and dads to read on their own, but it would also be a great book to process with other men or even with your wife and kids.
Profile Image for Michael L Brummitt.
1 review
May 6, 2017
Every man should MAN UP and read this!

Play The Man is the kind of book you read and think to yourself, I wish I had read this a long time ago. Mark Batterson takes the time to lay the foundation of what it look like to come the man God created you to be. With Mark's own style of communication, at every turn the reader is challenged to Play The Man!

Building upon the seven virtues of a Godly man (Tough Love, Childlike Wonder, Will Power, Raw Passion, True Grit, Clear Vision, and Moral Courage), Batterson captures the essence of what it means to not just be a man's man, but to be God's man.

For any man who reads this book, the potential of becoming the man your wife longs for, the man your church needs, the kind of man your community would be proud to have, and the father your kids deserve, is made real and attainable.

Sir, READ THIS BOOK! PLAY THE MAN!
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