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Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact
“Abracadabra—you are a millionaire! That is what will happen if you follow the advice from Phil Jones in this book.” —Jeffrey Hayzlett, primetime TV and podcast host, chairman of C-Suite Network “Indeed, the right words spoken the right way, while perhaps not actually magic, can sure have the results of such.” —Bob Burg, co-author of The Go-Giver “I think Phil says it best himself at the end of this fabulous “Everything you have learned in this book is simple, easy to do and works.” It’s tried and tested, proven and guaranteed to help you get your own way more often.” —Philip Hesketh, professional speaker and author on the psychology of persuasion and influence Often the decision between a customer choosing you over someone like you is your ability to know exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to make it count. Learn practical and instantly applicable skills in this book by Phil M. Jones, who’s trained more than two million people across five continents and over fifty countries in the lost art of spoken communication. Why This Book Will Help Me Let’s face it, the success or failure of almost every human interaction is effected by the ability to choose the exact right words at the exact right time. Hard work, talent and perfect timing can all have great impact on your success, yet without the ability to steer a conversation and create an agreeable outcome so much effort is wasted. If you have ever found yourself lost for words, or have come away from a conversation without the result you are looking for, then the wisdom in this book delivers you both principles and exact examples to allow you to grow your confidence in conversation. When It Really Counts Written with business situations in mind, it's applicable to many of life’s big moments. Whether looking to secure a job, close the sale, or help a friend, or loved one see things from another point of view – the ability to influence others is a universal skill. On the ABC hit tv-series “Shark Tank” , entrepreneurs are presenting their business ideas to potential millionaire investors. When these entrepreneurs have the camera rolling, and the lights are on, they know that every single word matters. In your important moments, do you feel that you exactly what to say? What You Will Learn In Exactly What to Say, Phil delivers what he calls his “Magic Words” and precise examples of how you can use them. Expect to read the book quickly and feel instantly motivated to create your own examples to help you win more business, have more influence in your workplace and grow your persuasiveness in social circumstances. Author Best-selling author and multiple award-winner Phil M. Jones is highly regarded as one of the world’s leading sales trainers. He has trained more than two million people across five continents and over fifty countries. Global brands, business leaders and celebrities have all consulted Phil’s expertise. In 2013 he became the youngest winner of the British Excellence in Sales and Marketing Award, has written multiple best selling books and continues to speak to audiences globally to demystify the art of selling and help empower people to ask for the things they want in life.
151 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 26, 2017
3038 people are currently reading
20737 people want to read
About the author
Phil M. Jones
22 books120 followersBest-selling author and multiple award-winner Phil M. Jones is highly regarded as one of the world's leading sales trainers. He has trained more than two million people across five continents and fifty-six countries and coached some of the biggest global brands in the lost art of spoken communication. In 2013 he won the British Excellence in Sales and Marketing Award for Sales Trainer of the Year, the youngest-ever recipient of that honor. He has also written a series of best-selling books and developed a number of online training courses that have enrolled tens of thousands of members around the world. Phil divides his time between London and New York.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 819 reviews
August 10, 2018
This is a compact book filled with scripts to use in conversations to influence people, such as:
- How open minded would you be in trying the alternative (if the person agree to be open minded then the person is likely to do so)
- Just imagine... (for example, just imagine how things will be in six months after you implement this or just imagine the impact this could have)
- When would be a good time to... (when the person is too busy to listen to your idea)
- What's the best number to contact you at (instead of can I have your number)
- What most people would do in this situation is...
- Before you make your mind up... let's make sure you looked at all the facts
- If I can... (action that the person may want) then will you... (action that you want from the person)
- Just one more thing... (when the conversation is almost ready to end, introduce a little idea)
- How open minded would you be in trying the alternative (if the person agree to be open minded then the person is likely to do so)
- Just imagine... (for example, just imagine how things will be in six months after you implement this or just imagine the impact this could have)
- When would be a good time to... (when the person is too busy to listen to your idea)
- What's the best number to contact you at (instead of can I have your number)
- What most people would do in this situation is...
- Before you make your mind up... let's make sure you looked at all the facts
- If I can... (action that the person may want) then will you... (action that you want from the person)
- Just one more thing... (when the conversation is almost ready to end, introduce a little idea)
August 3, 2019
These are not magic words--it's straight up manipulation of people's desire to be kind and get along. I cringe-read the book (because it was super short), but it made me angry. I don't work in sales, but this whole thing makes me uncomfortable
November 15, 2022
Just imagine yourself across from a prospect. How would you feel if they raised an objection you hadn't considered? I bet you're a bit like me, you'd get stressed and talk too much.
Don't worry. Phil Jones' book is here to help. "Exactly What to Say" took me longer than normal to read because I kept sharing nuggets with my clients and colleagues. I was happy to find magic words that I regularly use in my leadership and fundraising trainings. But I found even more phrases I'd never thought about using in this context. Better than just giving phrases to use, Phil tells you why the phrases help your communication.
There are two types of people, those who focus on themselves by getting stressed and talking too much when a conversation seems spiralling out of control. And those who can stay focused on the other person and helping them make a decision because they know exactly what to say.
The good news is this book gives you a short cut to becoming the second type of person.
Don't worry. Phil Jones' book is here to help. "Exactly What to Say" took me longer than normal to read because I kept sharing nuggets with my clients and colleagues. I was happy to find magic words that I regularly use in my leadership and fundraising trainings. But I found even more phrases I'd never thought about using in this context. Better than just giving phrases to use, Phil tells you why the phrases help your communication.
There are two types of people, those who focus on themselves by getting stressed and talking too much when a conversation seems spiralling out of control. And those who can stay focused on the other person and helping them make a decision because they know exactly what to say.
The good news is this book gives you a short cut to becoming the second type of person.
April 29, 2020
I believe in being honest and generous with others. I read this book in an attempt to understand some extremely manipulative people in my life. This book stands for everything I am against. At times I have been shocked by their nerve in how they push and challenge me- it’s so aggressive it feels like being constantly attacked. And in an attempt to give the benefit of the doubt, and to not be rude, too often I have allowed myself to be manipulated. It’s not healthy or right. But this book is helpful, which is why I gave it two stars instead of one. I used it to build a defensive arsenal of words (or silence) I can use in response to these commonly used phrases of manipulation.
There is one positive point he made in this book. It’s the 15th phrase, “the good news”, which is used to turn around the negative thoughts of others and help them start thinking in a positive light. I actually loved this one because negativity is so toxic; it affects us all. So I don’t see it as manipulative to counter someone else’s negativity when they’re spewing it all over you.
But I hated all the slimey ways he shares to help you get away with challenging others’ decisions. For example, and this one has been used on me, if I say, “I need to speak with my spouse first.” The other replies, “What makes you say that?” Well, I don’t believe that impertinent question deserves an answer, at least not the detailed one that is wanted. Just because he says it in a way that manipulates you into feeling rude if you refuse to answer— such a lie. So I think an appropriate response is “My decision to kindly answer your question.” And then silence.
He also teaches the manipulative tool of silence. I think if someone is challenging you and you don’t want to speak to them, and they try to use the silence tool (in which the silence is so uncomfortable the other subconsciously feels obliged to fill the silence), it’s appropriate to end the conversation. “Well I’d better be off now.”
There is one positive point he made in this book. It’s the 15th phrase, “the good news”, which is used to turn around the negative thoughts of others and help them start thinking in a positive light. I actually loved this one because negativity is so toxic; it affects us all. So I don’t see it as manipulative to counter someone else’s negativity when they’re spewing it all over you.
But I hated all the slimey ways he shares to help you get away with challenging others’ decisions. For example, and this one has been used on me, if I say, “I need to speak with my spouse first.” The other replies, “What makes you say that?” Well, I don’t believe that impertinent question deserves an answer, at least not the detailed one that is wanted. Just because he says it in a way that manipulates you into feeling rude if you refuse to answer— such a lie. So I think an appropriate response is “My decision to kindly answer your question.” And then silence.
He also teaches the manipulative tool of silence. I think if someone is challenging you and you don’t want to speak to them, and they try to use the silence tool (in which the silence is so uncomfortable the other subconsciously feels obliged to fill the silence), it’s appropriate to end the conversation. “Well I’d better be off now.”
August 28, 2017
I would've given 0 star if there's such option. The book is really a booklet with big words and big font. No new ideas and no practical example. For less than 6000 words, I wonder if the author knows what does it take to write a book?
I felt shame to even claim that I read a book in less than 20 minutes, but that was the truth. I claimed it as I spent $13 for nothing.
I felt shame to even claim that I read a book in less than 20 minutes, but that was the truth. I claimed it as I spent $13 for nothing.
January 17, 2025
We live in a society and not a fairy world. Yes, you need to know how to talk and deal with people. If you don't work with business or sales, this book is not for you. So you shouldn't be judging other people's professions. You don't know how hard it can be. I work as a teacher, but I need to attract new clients and this book really helped me. It was incredibly useful. I loved it!
April 26, 2020
This was actually good!!! But I need to quote this one:
“Something for you to think about as a reader is that there are two types of people in this world: those who read books like this and do nothing and those who put what they read into practice and enjoy immediate results.”
“Something for you to think about as a reader is that there are two types of people in this world: those who read books like this and do nothing and those who put what they read into practice and enjoy immediate results.”
January 10, 2020
Yes. The contents of this book are as shady as its cover. Obnoxious aggression lacking any sort of social charm, perfect for those dodgy outfits that specialise in cold calling to flog a dead horse to unsuspecting poor sods. This is the only real life arena that the methods can work because this author chump, Phil M Jones (the youngest sales manager in Debenham's history!), relies on the belief that no one he encounters will have moments of personal reflection after being handled. If you are less interested in securing the odd financial gain and more interested in building solid rapport with customers to form business relationships based on trust, loyalty, and communication, look elsewhere.
August 11, 2022
Alternative title: How to Talk to NPCs -- a book for NPCs.
"Best-selling author and multiple award-winner Phil M. Jones is highly regarded as one of the world's leading sales trainers," huh? Is this what the entire sales field is like? I am genuinely wondering.
I am now convinced that 'drop the pretense' is more efficacious advice than anything in the entire field of sales.
"Best-selling author and multiple award-winner Phil M. Jones is highly regarded as one of the world's leading sales trainers," huh? Is this what the entire sales field is like? I am genuinely wondering.
I am now convinced that 'drop the pretense' is more efficacious advice than anything in the entire field of sales.
November 1, 2023
I expected something different…
December 2, 2022
"The worst time to think about the thing you are going to say is in the moment you are saying it. This book prepares you for nearly every known eventuality and provides you with a fair advantage in almost every conversation..."
Exactly What to Say was an OK short read.
Author Phil M Jones is "a master of influence and persuasion. He is the author of the bestselling Exactly book series, with over a million copies sold; the producer of the most listened to nonfiction audiobook of all time (Exactly What to Say); a trusted advisor for some of the world's biggest brands; and an entrepreneur since the age of fourteen."
Phil M. Jones:
I wasn't sure what to expect from this one going in... I am generally a fan of books about self-help, mindset training, and/or honing one's social acumen. This one seemed to tick a few of those boxes, so I put it on my list when I came across it.
Exactly What to Say is more of a book to help improve the success of sales (or other) pitches than it is a book about mindest training or self-help. The aspiring or current salesperson accordingly will likely find more value here than someone who is not in the business of presenting proposals or sales.
The book is presented in a format that sees each of the chapters headed with some helpful phrases, designed to steer and/or manipulate others toward outcomes favorable to your position.
23 of these different phrases are covered in the book by the author.
The 23 phrases are designed to bypass the human tendency to reject the unfamiliar. In the book's intro, the author mentions that many of these phrases are designed to act on the subconscious mind.
**********************
Exactly What to Say was a somewhat interesting short read.
3.5 stars.
Exactly What to Say was an OK short read.
Author Phil M Jones is "a master of influence and persuasion. He is the author of the bestselling Exactly book series, with over a million copies sold; the producer of the most listened to nonfiction audiobook of all time (Exactly What to Say); a trusted advisor for some of the world's biggest brands; and an entrepreneur since the age of fourteen."
Phil M. Jones:
I wasn't sure what to expect from this one going in... I am generally a fan of books about self-help, mindset training, and/or honing one's social acumen. This one seemed to tick a few of those boxes, so I put it on my list when I came across it.
Exactly What to Say is more of a book to help improve the success of sales (or other) pitches than it is a book about mindest training or self-help. The aspiring or current salesperson accordingly will likely find more value here than someone who is not in the business of presenting proposals or sales.
The book is presented in a format that sees each of the chapters headed with some helpful phrases, designed to steer and/or manipulate others toward outcomes favorable to your position.
23 of these different phrases are covered in the book by the author.
The 23 phrases are designed to bypass the human tendency to reject the unfamiliar. In the book's intro, the author mentions that many of these phrases are designed to act on the subconscious mind.
**********************
Exactly What to Say was a somewhat interesting short read.
3.5 stars.
December 25, 2021
#1 I’m not sure if it’s for you, but…
#2 Open-minded
#3 What do you know?
#4 How would you feel if?
#5 Just imagine
#6 When would be a good time?
#7 I’m guessing you haven’t got around to…
#8 What questions do you have for me?
#9 You have three options.
#10 There’re two types of people.
#11 I bet you’re a bit like me.
#12 If… Then
#13 Don’t worry.
#14 Most people…
#15 The good news is…
#16 What happens next is…
#17 What makes you say that?
#18 Before you make your mind up…
#19 If I can, will you…?
#20 Enough
#21 Just one more thing…
#22 A favor
#23 Just out of curiosity…
#2 Open-minded
#3 What do you know?
#4 How would you feel if?
#5 Just imagine
#6 When would be a good time?
#7 I’m guessing you haven’t got around to…
#8 What questions do you have for me?
#9 You have three options.
#10 There’re two types of people.
#11 I bet you’re a bit like me.
#12 If… Then
#13 Don’t worry.
#14 Most people…
#15 The good news is…
#16 What happens next is…
#17 What makes you say that?
#18 Before you make your mind up…
#19 If I can, will you…?
#20 Enough
#21 Just one more thing…
#22 A favor
#23 Just out of curiosity…
July 21, 2019
A really interesting primer on sales technique. It's scary how manipulative you need to be to get the best results from your customers.
July 3, 2020
This was an absolute waste of time for me. It is mentioned in the opening words that the book is not only suitable for growing your business, but also for personal life; but I find that hard to agree with.
For me, the book was just a short and not very well written selection of mind manipulation tricks designed to make you do or buy things you don't really need. I know all these tricks too well and it only made me feel furious to read them. Another thing is that every salesman I have ever met in my life knows all of these tricks anyway. So I don't really understand who can make use of this book. Certainly not me.
Lastly, the writing in my opinion was very sloppy and not at all convincing; which is ironic, since the book is supposed to be about teaching us to convince people to do what we want.
For me, the book was just a short and not very well written selection of mind manipulation tricks designed to make you do or buy things you don't really need. I know all these tricks too well and it only made me feel furious to read them. Another thing is that every salesman I have ever met in my life knows all of these tricks anyway. So I don't really understand who can make use of this book. Certainly not me.
Lastly, the writing in my opinion was very sloppy and not at all convincing; which is ironic, since the book is supposed to be about teaching us to convince people to do what we want.
January 3, 2023
Автор хорошо изучил все основные психологические ловушки и подобрал для них варианты побудительных предложений, с которых надо начинать разговор, чтобы добиться желаемого для себя результата. Такие приемы подойдут в основном, чтобы "впаривать" и убеждать людей, неподкованных в психологии поведения. Книга может помочь продавцам ТНП и простых услуг, где действует манипуляция, а не цифры и сильная позиция.
Такие книги надо читать, чтобы научится отлавливать и замечать моменты, когда тобой начинают манипулировать.
Еще раз убедился, насколько мы недооцениваем возможности техник влияния на других людей.
Такие книги надо читать, чтобы научится отлавливать и замечать моменты, когда тобой начинают манипулировать.
Еще раз убедился, насколько мы недооцениваем возможности техник влияния на других людей.
May 19, 2018
Grab it on audio, play it at 2X, and grab a few nuggets.
Some of the suggested language is in my opinion a bit too salesy, certainly for the clients I work with.
The risk is in coming across as manipulative to a world of increasingly savvy and wary clients.
Some of the suggested language is in my opinion a bit too salesy, certainly for the clients I work with.
The risk is in coming across as manipulative to a world of increasingly savvy and wary clients.
January 9, 2020
The real art of Jedi Mind Tricks. A decent quick read with good advice.
“There are two types of people in this world: those who resist change in favor of nostalgia and those who move with the times and create a better future.”
“There are two types of people in this world: those who resist change in favor of nostalgia and those who move with the times and create a better future.”
July 18, 2019
Do not read this book. I will be practicing all the tools Jones advises and I dont want you to know I am doing it. Seriously. Dont read it.
February 1, 2019
This is an excellent book on the art of influence, persuasion and generating top producing business results especially in sales and marketing. It could replace just about every other book on human behavior. It teaches you how to rephrase common words for situations you will face in any career in order to net you the most benefit.
The worst time to think of the best thing to say is always when you are actually saying it! I have long been a lover and student of power scripts, killer questions and magical phrases that open doors of opportunity in career and life. And there’s nobody better than Phil Jones at finding that perfect key that will unlock a range of situations. I was literally amazed by the magic words and phrases outlined in the book. While reading this book, I applied some phrases in my daily interaction with other people and it really stunned me how wonderfully they worked. Because these words are tried, tested and proven to deliver results when applied properly. Sales and Marketing background besides, this is a must read for anyone looking to be more persuasive in their profession and personal lives.
The worst time to think of the best thing to say is always when you are actually saying it! I have long been a lover and student of power scripts, killer questions and magical phrases that open doors of opportunity in career and life. And there’s nobody better than Phil Jones at finding that perfect key that will unlock a range of situations. I was literally amazed by the magic words and phrases outlined in the book. While reading this book, I applied some phrases in my daily interaction with other people and it really stunned me how wonderfully they worked. Because these words are tried, tested and proven to deliver results when applied properly. Sales and Marketing background besides, this is a must read for anyone looking to be more persuasive in their profession and personal lives.
August 29, 2018
A nice, quick book about some magic words and phrases that can help you be more persuasive in your daily dealings - seems primarily geared towards sales situations but certainly not limited to that.
Here's a subset:
* Open-minded (e.g. “Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance?”)
* How would you feel if…
* I’m guessing you haven’t got around to…
* I bet you’re a bit like me…
* Don’t worry…
* Most people… (e.g. “Most people in your situation would probably select the middle option.”)
* What happens next…
* What makes you say that?
* Before you make up your mind…
* Just out of curiosity…
Here's a subset:
* Open-minded (e.g. “Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance?”)
* How would you feel if…
* I’m guessing you haven’t got around to…
* I bet you’re a bit like me…
* Don’t worry…
* Most people… (e.g. “Most people in your situation would probably select the middle option.”)
* What happens next…
* What makes you say that?
* Before you make up your mind…
* Just out of curiosity…
October 17, 2018
Leyendo las reseñas de este libro parece que el autor ha descubierto la piedra filosofal de la comunicacion. Estoy decepcionado, es un libro basico y obvio, esta claro que las reseñas del prologo deben ser de sus colegas de juerga porque el libro es de cinturon blanco de uso del lenguaje asertivo/empatico. Se limita a capitular una serie de enunciados de los mas evidentes y hace un desarrollo de los mismos, este libro estaria bien para un niño de 12 años que quiere intercambiar cromos.NO LO COMPRES.
July 30, 2017
This highly readable, slim, and straightforward book gives you little scripts -- magic words, in Jones' parlance -- for a number of sales situations. To me, they conjured up the things that car salesmen say to you, like "what would it take...to get you in this car, Mr. Morgan?" So that kind of phrasing puts me off. But I recognize the psychological insight in what Jones is offering, and I'm sure he's right for most sales most of the time.
January 27, 2019
A really great short book on what to say in sales and business situations to help you close the deal and takes things forward. I'll definitely be using it as a reference for both communication and copywriting!
January 3, 2019
this was quite possibly an hour wasted.
August 29, 2022
A one-time read:
was for this reason that I figured the best place to start is with a set of Magic Words you can use to introduce something to just about anybody, at just about any point in time, that is completely rejection-free. The words in question are, “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but...”
Let’s take a moment to understand how this simple structure works.
Opening a statement with the words, “I’m not sure if it’s for you,” causes the listener’s subconscious brain to hear, “There’s no pressure here.” By suggesting that they may not be interested, you naturally increase their intrigue. They wonder what “it” is, and this spike in curiosity hooks them. What’s more, it fires an internal driver that tells them a decision needs to be made, and the soft approach
I’m not sure if it’s for you, but would you happen to know someone who is interested in (insert the results of your product or service)?
I’m not sure if it’s for you, but we have plans on Saturday, and you’re welcome to join us.
I’m not sure if it’s for you, but this option is available for this month only, and I would hate for you to miss out.
This rejection-free approach creates a simple outcome. One of two things happens: your listener leans in and asks for more information because they are personally interested, or, in the very, v
How open-minded would you be about trying this as an alternative?
Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance?
How open-minded are you about increasing your monthly income?
Would you be open-minded about seeing if we could work together?
Each of these options makes it very difficult for the other person to reject your idea, and it at least makes them feel obligated to explore the possibility. It seems like you are giving them a choice, when really you are heavily weighting the only option you are giving them. Put simply, “How open-minded are you about at least trying it?”
When introducing a new idea, start with, “How open-minded are you?
What do you know about us, our business and the way we do things differently?
What do you know about everything that has changed since (insert event)?
What do you know about how things really work here?
What do you know about the benefits of (insert product sector)?
You know the times when you have sent over some details or they have said they needed to consult with someone else, and now you need to make contact to take the next step?
When you are fearful that somebody has not done something, instead of asking them how that thing went, you may want to start the conversation slightly differently.
Open the conversation by allowing the other person to save face, but also by preventing them from using any of the excuses you think they might use. This leaves them with nowhere to go in the conversation other than where you would like them to go. The reason they cannot use the excuses is because you have been bold enough to start the conversation in a way that suggests they were about to use the very excuse they had prepared: by prefacing your question with, “I’
Other examples could be...
I’m guessing you haven’t got around to looking over the documents yet?
I’m guessing you haven’t got around to setting a date yet?
I’m guessing you haven’t got around to making a decision yet?
By pushing for the negative scenario, you get people to rise to the positive or to tell you how they are going to fix the thing they said they were going to do
to me, first of all, from trying to prevent a giant mistake I see so many people make when they reach the end of a sales presentation.
Following many a presentation, the question people reach for is, “Do you have any questions?” Asking this creates the subconscious suggestion that the other person should have questions, and if they don’t, it makes them feel peculiar and perhaps even a little stupid. This encourages them to leave the decision-making conversation and go away to think about it.
A simple change of wording puts you in control. Swap the phrase, “Do you have any questions?” with the improved, “What questions do you have for me?”
A simple change of wording moves this from out of your control to completely in your control. Swap the phrase, “Do you have any questions?” with the improved, “What questions do you have for me?
Consider a scenario in which you have met someone and would like to have a conversation with them at a later time. A mistake many people make is asking, “Can I have your phone number?” When you ask somebody, “Can I have your...?” it creates a permission-based resistance in the other person, which makes it harder to get what you hoped for, since a “yes” or “no” response is required. It can be seen as an invasion of privacy. Instead, asking the alternative question, “What’s the best number to contact you at?” results in people effortlessly giving you the information you requeste
: The words, “As I see it, you have three options,” help the other person through the decision-making process and allow you to appear impartial in doing so.
[bet you’re a bit like me: you enjoy working hard now, knowing that it will pay dividends in the future.
I bet you’re a bit like me: you hate watching trashy TV in the evening and would rather work on something beneficial.
I bet you’re a bit like me: you’re a busy person who’s always juggling to get everything done.
example of this is a simple pattern of speech that appeared a lot in your youth, and its impact is often overlooked. Adults made many con-ditional statements to us when we were children, such as...
If you don’t eat all your dinner, then you’re not going to get any dessert.
If you don’t study hard at school, then you’re not going to get into the college or job you’re hoping for.
[: examples for this are endless:
What most people do is complete the forms with me here today. You then receive your welcome pack and we get you booked in for a launch.
What most people do is place a small order to get started, commit to a few of the best products, see how they work out in their daily routines and then decide what they want to do next.
Most people in your circumstances would grab this opportunity with both hands, knowing that there is almost no risk.
[By prefacing things with, “The good news is...,” you cause people to face forward with optimism and zap any negative energy out of the conversation.
You can use this same principle with two more words when faced with people who give excuses or reasons as to why they are not ready to move forward.
When somebody gives you an excuse, they expect you to push back and argue around that point. Next time somebody tells you a reason why they do not want to do something, respond by saying, “That’s great.” When somebody says, “I couldn’t do it because of this,” say, “That’s great, you’ve just found out another way that doesn’t work,” and watch how they look at you differently. You have changed the way that they think. Now, some of them might think that you have completely lost it
[: What happens next is that we are going to take a few moments, complete some of your personal details and get things set up for you to receive everything in the quickest possible time.
“Then we need to schedule another meeting for us to get started, and at that point I am going to help you through all the steps to ensure that you realize your goals and are fully aware of all the support that is available to you. In terms of registering your details, what is the best address for you?”
It is your responsibility to lead the conversation, and following the sharing of the required information, your role is to move it toward a close.
[business setting, common objections include...
I haven’t got the time.
It’s the wrong time.
I want to shop around.
I haven’t got the money right now.
I need to speak to somebody else before I make a decision about this.
The worst thing that you could do when such an objection is raised is to respond with your counterargument and make statements that disprove their current opinion. Instead, you can tackle each of these common objections effectively by being inquisitive about them and asking a question in the opposite direction.
Success in negotiating is all about maintaining control in a conversation, and the person in control is always the person who is asking the questions.
[are a few examples:
The customer says, “I need to speak to somebody else before I make a decision about this.” You say, “What makes you say that?”
The customer says, “Really, I don’t have all the money right now.” You say, “What makes you say that?”
The customer says, “I’m really not sure I’ve got the time to fit this in around what I’m doing right now.” You say, “What makes you say that?”
This shift of control now leaves the other person obligated to give an answer and fill in the gaps in their previous statement.
It prevents you from making prejudgments or entering into an argument, and it
[Here are some examples of how you can use these words to keep the conversation alive:
Look, before you make your mind up, let’s make sure we’ve looked at all the facts.
Before you make your mind up, why don’t we just run through the details one more time so you can know what it is that you are saying no to?
Before you make your mind up, wouldn’t it make sense to speak to a few more people about the difference this could make for you and your family?
These simple exam
[: Perhaps they are looking for you to make a change from your standard terms or they would like you to offer an improved price.
This same thing appears in our personal lives when people make excuses about why they cannot make it to events or celebrations.
These situations are created by the other person delivering an external condition that is affecting their ability to move forward with your idea. They have removed themselves from the process and abdicated responsibility to something out of their control.
You have the power in these situations to isolate this condition and remove the barrier by responding with a powerful question that eliminates their argument. This is achieved by using the question structure, “If I can..., then will you
Would three bottles be enough for you?”
In every set of circumstances in which you involve yourself in the decision-making process, you have the power to influence the actions of others.
This use of words drives the recipient to answer the direct question, and “yes” becomes the path of least resistance.
When used skillfully in situations in which somebody impressionable must choose between two options, you will almost always get them to pick the bigger on
[: Using the Magic Words “Just one more thing” keeps the conversation alive and can help you avoid leaving with nothing.
This lesson can translate into many scenarios in our lives. Here is just one of them.
You meet with someone to introduce them to your ideas and look to gain their commitment. They kind of like you and your ideas, but they are not so sure, and the meeting is coming to a close. You thank them for their time, pack your things up and head for the door. At this point you could create a Columbo moment and turn back to them with the words, “Just one more thing.” When they think that they have got away with not buying anything, you introduce a simple idea, something that is really easy for them to try, and bring them into your worldColumbo moment include...
Asking them to sample a product.
Asking them to commit to a small order.
Inviting them to an event.
Introducing them to someone you think they should know.
Asking them to do something for you.
Asking them a question that creates scarcity in your first offer.
am sure you have had many scenarios in which you have longed for someone else to do something that makes your life a little easier, that opens a door for you or provides you with the information you need to make the progress you would like.
As we reach the end of this book, perhaps you could do me a small favor?
Think for a second about how you feel about me asking you that direct question, “Could you do me a small favor?” I am pretty sure that in that split-second moment, you thought that you may be reasonably open to helping me out.
This is a simple and powerful set of Magic Words that you can use to get somebody to agree to do just about anything before they even know what the thing is. The request of a favor almost always gains a unanimous agreement from the recipient, and the worst response possible is still a conditional yes, like, “Depends what it is.”
Think of the things that you could ask people to do following their agreement to the favor you are asking of them
am sure you have had many scenarios in which you have longed for someone else to do something that makes your life a little easier, that opens a door for you or provides you with the information you need to make the progress you would like.
As we reach the end of this book, perhaps you could do me a small favor?
Think for a second about how you feel about me asking you that direct question, “Could you do me a small favor?” I am pretty sure that in that split-second moment, you thought that you may be reasonably open to helping me out.
This is a simple and powerful set of Magic Words that you can use to get somebody to agree to do just about anything before they even know what the thing is. The request of a favor almost always gains a unanimous agreement from the recipient, and the worst response possible is still a conditional yes, like, “Depends what it is.”
Think of the things that you could ask people to do following their agreement to the favor you are asking of them
was for this reason that I figured the best place to start is with a set of Magic Words you can use to introduce something to just about anybody, at just about any point in time, that is completely rejection-free. The words in question are, “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but...”
Let’s take a moment to understand how this simple structure works.
Opening a statement with the words, “I’m not sure if it’s for you,” causes the listener’s subconscious brain to hear, “There’s no pressure here.” By suggesting that they may not be interested, you naturally increase their intrigue. They wonder what “it” is, and this spike in curiosity hooks them. What’s more, it fires an internal driver that tells them a decision needs to be made, and the soft approach
I’m not sure if it’s for you, but would you happen to know someone who is interested in (insert the results of your product or service)?
I’m not sure if it’s for you, but we have plans on Saturday, and you’re welcome to join us.
I’m not sure if it’s for you, but this option is available for this month only, and I would hate for you to miss out.
This rejection-free approach creates a simple outcome. One of two things happens: your listener leans in and asks for more information because they are personally interested, or, in the very, v
How open-minded would you be about trying this as an alternative?
Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance?
How open-minded are you about increasing your monthly income?
Would you be open-minded about seeing if we could work together?
Each of these options makes it very difficult for the other person to reject your idea, and it at least makes them feel obligated to explore the possibility. It seems like you are giving them a choice, when really you are heavily weighting the only option you are giving them. Put simply, “How open-minded are you about at least trying it?”
When introducing a new idea, start with, “How open-minded are you?
What do you know about us, our business and the way we do things differently?
What do you know about everything that has changed since (insert event)?
What do you know about how things really work here?
What do you know about the benefits of (insert product sector)?
You know the times when you have sent over some details or they have said they needed to consult with someone else, and now you need to make contact to take the next step?
When you are fearful that somebody has not done something, instead of asking them how that thing went, you may want to start the conversation slightly differently.
Open the conversation by allowing the other person to save face, but also by preventing them from using any of the excuses you think they might use. This leaves them with nowhere to go in the conversation other than where you would like them to go. The reason they cannot use the excuses is because you have been bold enough to start the conversation in a way that suggests they were about to use the very excuse they had prepared: by prefacing your question with, “I’
Other examples could be...
I’m guessing you haven’t got around to looking over the documents yet?
I’m guessing you haven’t got around to setting a date yet?
I’m guessing you haven’t got around to making a decision yet?
By pushing for the negative scenario, you get people to rise to the positive or to tell you how they are going to fix the thing they said they were going to do
to me, first of all, from trying to prevent a giant mistake I see so many people make when they reach the end of a sales presentation.
Following many a presentation, the question people reach for is, “Do you have any questions?” Asking this creates the subconscious suggestion that the other person should have questions, and if they don’t, it makes them feel peculiar and perhaps even a little stupid. This encourages them to leave the decision-making conversation and go away to think about it.
A simple change of wording puts you in control. Swap the phrase, “Do you have any questions?” with the improved, “What questions do you have for me?”
A simple change of wording moves this from out of your control to completely in your control. Swap the phrase, “Do you have any questions?” with the improved, “What questions do you have for me?
Consider a scenario in which you have met someone and would like to have a conversation with them at a later time. A mistake many people make is asking, “Can I have your phone number?” When you ask somebody, “Can I have your...?” it creates a permission-based resistance in the other person, which makes it harder to get what you hoped for, since a “yes” or “no” response is required. It can be seen as an invasion of privacy. Instead, asking the alternative question, “What’s the best number to contact you at?” results in people effortlessly giving you the information you requeste
: The words, “As I see it, you have three options,” help the other person through the decision-making process and allow you to appear impartial in doing so.
[bet you’re a bit like me: you enjoy working hard now, knowing that it will pay dividends in the future.
I bet you’re a bit like me: you hate watching trashy TV in the evening and would rather work on something beneficial.
I bet you’re a bit like me: you’re a busy person who’s always juggling to get everything done.
example of this is a simple pattern of speech that appeared a lot in your youth, and its impact is often overlooked. Adults made many con-ditional statements to us when we were children, such as...
If you don’t eat all your dinner, then you’re not going to get any dessert.
If you don’t study hard at school, then you’re not going to get into the college or job you’re hoping for.
[: examples for this are endless:
What most people do is complete the forms with me here today. You then receive your welcome pack and we get you booked in for a launch.
What most people do is place a small order to get started, commit to a few of the best products, see how they work out in their daily routines and then decide what they want to do next.
Most people in your circumstances would grab this opportunity with both hands, knowing that there is almost no risk.
[By prefacing things with, “The good news is...,” you cause people to face forward with optimism and zap any negative energy out of the conversation.
You can use this same principle with two more words when faced with people who give excuses or reasons as to why they are not ready to move forward.
When somebody gives you an excuse, they expect you to push back and argue around that point. Next time somebody tells you a reason why they do not want to do something, respond by saying, “That’s great.” When somebody says, “I couldn’t do it because of this,” say, “That’s great, you’ve just found out another way that doesn’t work,” and watch how they look at you differently. You have changed the way that they think. Now, some of them might think that you have completely lost it
[: What happens next is that we are going to take a few moments, complete some of your personal details and get things set up for you to receive everything in the quickest possible time.
“Then we need to schedule another meeting for us to get started, and at that point I am going to help you through all the steps to ensure that you realize your goals and are fully aware of all the support that is available to you. In terms of registering your details, what is the best address for you?”
It is your responsibility to lead the conversation, and following the sharing of the required information, your role is to move it toward a close.
[business setting, common objections include...
I haven’t got the time.
It’s the wrong time.
I want to shop around.
I haven’t got the money right now.
I need to speak to somebody else before I make a decision about this.
The worst thing that you could do when such an objection is raised is to respond with your counterargument and make statements that disprove their current opinion. Instead, you can tackle each of these common objections effectively by being inquisitive about them and asking a question in the opposite direction.
Success in negotiating is all about maintaining control in a conversation, and the person in control is always the person who is asking the questions.
[are a few examples:
The customer says, “I need to speak to somebody else before I make a decision about this.” You say, “What makes you say that?”
The customer says, “Really, I don’t have all the money right now.” You say, “What makes you say that?”
The customer says, “I’m really not sure I’ve got the time to fit this in around what I’m doing right now.” You say, “What makes you say that?”
This shift of control now leaves the other person obligated to give an answer and fill in the gaps in their previous statement.
It prevents you from making prejudgments or entering into an argument, and it
[Here are some examples of how you can use these words to keep the conversation alive:
Look, before you make your mind up, let’s make sure we’ve looked at all the facts.
Before you make your mind up, why don’t we just run through the details one more time so you can know what it is that you are saying no to?
Before you make your mind up, wouldn’t it make sense to speak to a few more people about the difference this could make for you and your family?
These simple exam
[: Perhaps they are looking for you to make a change from your standard terms or they would like you to offer an improved price.
This same thing appears in our personal lives when people make excuses about why they cannot make it to events or celebrations.
These situations are created by the other person delivering an external condition that is affecting their ability to move forward with your idea. They have removed themselves from the process and abdicated responsibility to something out of their control.
You have the power in these situations to isolate this condition and remove the barrier by responding with a powerful question that eliminates their argument. This is achieved by using the question structure, “If I can..., then will you
Would three bottles be enough for you?”
In every set of circumstances in which you involve yourself in the decision-making process, you have the power to influence the actions of others.
This use of words drives the recipient to answer the direct question, and “yes” becomes the path of least resistance.
When used skillfully in situations in which somebody impressionable must choose between two options, you will almost always get them to pick the bigger on
[: Using the Magic Words “Just one more thing” keeps the conversation alive and can help you avoid leaving with nothing.
This lesson can translate into many scenarios in our lives. Here is just one of them.
You meet with someone to introduce them to your ideas and look to gain their commitment. They kind of like you and your ideas, but they are not so sure, and the meeting is coming to a close. You thank them for their time, pack your things up and head for the door. At this point you could create a Columbo moment and turn back to them with the words, “Just one more thing.” When they think that they have got away with not buying anything, you introduce a simple idea, something that is really easy for them to try, and bring them into your worldColumbo moment include...
Asking them to sample a product.
Asking them to commit to a small order.
Inviting them to an event.
Introducing them to someone you think they should know.
Asking them to do something for you.
Asking them a question that creates scarcity in your first offer.
am sure you have had many scenarios in which you have longed for someone else to do something that makes your life a little easier, that opens a door for you or provides you with the information you need to make the progress you would like.
As we reach the end of this book, perhaps you could do me a small favor?
Think for a second about how you feel about me asking you that direct question, “Could you do me a small favor?” I am pretty sure that in that split-second moment, you thought that you may be reasonably open to helping me out.
This is a simple and powerful set of Magic Words that you can use to get somebody to agree to do just about anything before they even know what the thing is. The request of a favor almost always gains a unanimous agreement from the recipient, and the worst response possible is still a conditional yes, like, “Depends what it is.”
Think of the things that you could ask people to do following their agreement to the favor you are asking of them
am sure you have had many scenarios in which you have longed for someone else to do something that makes your life a little easier, that opens a door for you or provides you with the information you need to make the progress you would like.
As we reach the end of this book, perhaps you could do me a small favor?
Think for a second about how you feel about me asking you that direct question, “Could you do me a small favor?” I am pretty sure that in that split-second moment, you thought that you may be reasonably open to helping me out.
This is a simple and powerful set of Magic Words that you can use to get somebody to agree to do just about anything before they even know what the thing is. The request of a favor almost always gains a unanimous agreement from the recipient, and the worst response possible is still a conditional yes, like, “Depends what it is.”
Think of the things that you could ask people to do following their agreement to the favor you are asking of them
April 25, 2023
We’re not sure if this is for you, but …
We’re not sure if this book by Phil M. Jones, Exactly What to Say is for you, but maybe you’ll know someone else who’s interested.
Okay, you caught us; we’re playing a little game with you here. You see, the phrase “I’m not sure if this is for you, but …” already gets you interested. The first part of the phrase hits your subconscious brain with the feeling that there’s no pressure involved; perhaps you’ll be interested, perhaps you won’t. And at the same time, the suggestion that you might not be interested actually piques your interest and primes you with the idea that a decision has to be made: is it for you, or not?
Adding on the word but at the end, though, is where the real magic comes in. Using but cancels out the “I’m not sure …” part of the sentence and your subconscious simply says, “I want to look at this!”
So, since we’ve already got you hooked, let’s get into some more magic words that can help you steer any conversation or business transaction to work in your favor.
---
Steering the Conversation
How open-minded are you? Consider that question for a moment. Almost everyone believes that they’re open-minded. Phil Jones, the author of Exactly What to Say, says that if you start a conversation with that phrase and follow it with the idea you want the person to opt into, the odds of them doing so rise from 50-50 to 90-10 in your favor. So if you ask, for instance, “Would you be open-minded about us working together on this?” it makes it difficult for the other person to reject your idea. They feel an obligation to at least try.
Sometimes you find that the person you’re speaking with wants to argue with you. They’re convinced that they know best. To avoid getting into a debate, resist the temptation to try to win the argument, and regain control of the conversation, you can try turning the discussion around by using the words “What do you know about …” These words allow you to test the basis on which the other person’s reasoning is based. Your aim is to get them to recognize that they have insufficient evidence to form their strongly held opinion. So you could try something like, “What do you know about our products?” or “What do you know about the way our business works?” When the other person then answers, you’re in a position to correct any errors in their knowledge.
Getting someone to agree on a date and time to see you to discuss your proposal, business idea, or product can often be challenging. But there’s some good news. A simple phrase will help you overcome other people telling you they don’t have time. When you ask someone, “When would be a good time to … ?” the other person’s subconscious is already tuned into the idea that there is a good time and that saying no isn’t the right response. By using the phrase you’ve demonstrated to the other person that you know they’re busy but there will be a time when they can fit you in.
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Presenting Options
If you’ve sent some business materials in advance of a meeting, or it’s the second time you’re seeing a person after pitching your idea, you still need to keep control of the conversation. A good opening phrase in such situations is “I guess you haven’t got around to …” This allows the other person to save face. So, for example, if the person had said they need to consult their partner, you could say “I guess you haven’t got around to talking to your partner, yet.” In this scenario, the person will either be proud that they have actually done it or be embarrassed that they haven’t.
At the end of your presentations, how often do you close with, “Do you have any questions?” Many people do, but what this question does is create an expectation in the other person that they should have a question and feel stupid if they don’t have any. If you change the wording to “What questions do you have for me?” the other person either has a question or has no questions at all. If the former, you can provide the answer, and if the latter, then you’re closer to closing your deal.
In the same vein, instead of asking “Can I have your phone number?” try saying “What’s the best number for me to contact you on?” The Can I question creates resistance – the other person can see it as invading their privacy. The second question usually results in no resistance.
Everyone needs to feel as if they’re the one making the final decision. You can help this process by narrowing down the choices. You can do this by using the phrase “As I see it, you have three options.” Presenting three options not only makes it easier for the other person, but also allows you to build up to the final one, which is, of course, the one you want them to make.
Let’s illustrate this with an example. Start by setting the scene, the other person’s current situation – stuck in a boring job with no prospects, long hours so no time for family, and money is tight. Then remind the other person about the exciting opportunity that you’ve just shown them. Now, they have three options. First, search for new positions, send their résumé and applications, have interviews, find another employer, and end up doing the same kind of work for little extra reward. Second, do nothing and stay in their present situation. Third, work the opportunity you’ve shown them alongside their existing job. Finish by asking, “And which of those three options is going to be easier for you?” These final magic words will seal the deal!
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Cause and Effect
There are two types of people in this world, people who immediately put into action what they hear about, and those who do nothing. We’re sure you already identify – or want to identify – with the first group of people. The moment the phrase “two types of people” is uttered, the voice in your head or anyone else’s says, “I must be one or the other,” and of course, you and they want to pick the more favorable choice.
I bet you’re a bit like me: you’d rather be working on something productive than flicking through Netflix in the evenings. Even if, in this case, you’re not like me, those words are powerful when it comes to getting someone to agree with you. If the person disagrees with you, it’s a useful tool to gather information about the person you’re presenting to. And when they do agree, it takes away possible future objections – especially if it comes to saying they don’t have time for the opportunity you’re offering them.
Do you remember the kind of things your parents used to tell you when you were a kid? Quite probably, they sometimes took the form of conditional statements. What do we mean by that? Well, statements that start with if and have a consequence that continues after then. An example might be, “If you don’t study hard at school, then you won’t be able to go to college.” Or, “If you don’t tidy your room, then you’re grounded.” These, If …, then … statements are powerful because the pattern they’ve created in your brain has hardwired the feeling that the consequences are always true.
All well and good, but what does it mean for you in business and personal development? Consider these two examples: “If you give this a try, then you won’t be disappointed.” And, “If you put this sentence pattern into practice, then you’ll certainly see results when you do.”
---
Guiding Next Steps
Imagine for a moment that you’ve gone back in time to when you were a child. You’re at the beach and there’s a rocky outcrop from which you can jump into the sea. You’re with other kids, too, but none of you wants to be the first to jump. Eventually, the first brave kid leaps into the water and lands with a splash. As soon as everyone sees the big smile on the first kid’s face and the fact that they’re not hurt, everyone wants a go.
You see, the thing about us humans is that we like to be followers and we trust in safety in numbers. And that’s where our next magic words come in: most people. When we use those words to describe a situation to someone, their subconscious says that if most people do that, then probably they should too.
Do you want to hear how most people can turn negatives into positives? They can use a technique known as labeling. When you label something in a conversation, it becomes difficult for that label to be removed. Quite literally, the label sticks! And this is how you can use the magic words, The good news is …
Let’s illustrate this with an example of someone who’s doubting their ability to work in business with you. You can reassure them by saying, “The good news is that other people were in the same situation when they started out, but we were able to support them and now they’re very successful.” This gets the person to look forward and, as Jones puts it “zaps any negative energy out of the conversation.”
So you’ve invested time explaining your business proposition to a prospect, they’ve agreed with everything you’ve said, and the point has come when you want them to commit, to make a decision – but suddenly the conversation ends abruptly. What do you do? Well, what you don’t do is leave the decision-making to happen by itself, or to your prospect. It’s here that you can lead them through the decision-making process by using the words “What happens next is …” Effectively, what you do is lead your prospect by the hand through to completion. Don’t tell them what you want them to do, rather tell them exactly what the next steps are.
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Easing into Decisions
It’s Friday night, and you really want to meet up with your friend at the movie theater. They decline saying they can’t get there because their car is at the garage. You can overcome this objection using an “If I can… Will you?” structure, so, “If I can pick you up and drop you off afterward, will you be ready at 8:00 p.m.?” This simple technique also works in negotiations, on price for instance – “If I can match that price, will you be able to place an order?”
Getting someone to say yes when they’ve been heading toward no is a pretty difficult task. What you really need to do is get them to switch to maybe first. How can you do that? Try steering them back toward your idea using the words, “Before you make your mind up …”
So, for example, you could say “Before you make your mind up, let’s just go over the details again and make sure we covered all the facts.” This kind of sentence will allow the negotiation to continue. You might be able to present the facts in a slightly different way, or cover material you previously omitted, changing the perspective of your prospect and steering them once more in the direction of yes.
You’ve probably been told many times by people that they need more time to think. Usually, this means nothing of the sort, rather that they’re kicking the decision-making down the road. You might feel like responding with, “What is it you need to think about?” but don’t do that – as it stands, that just seems rude and a little bit aggressive. And definitely don’t walk away and tell the other person to come back to you when they’re ready. Instead, why not prefix it with some magic words, like this “Just out of curiosity, what is it that you need to think about?”
And then – and this is important – say nothing and wait for a response. There are two possible outcomes. First, the other person will give you an honest reason and you can work with them on that, or second, they’ll tell you that there’s actually nothing stopping them from proceeding. You can add the magic words “Just out of curiosity …” in many situations to make what otherwise might have been a rude question into a means to identify their objections.
Don’t worry, we know that there have been a lot of magic words in this book for you to remember and use. You’ll get to know them as you first practice them and then master them. Actually, those two words we just used – don’t worry – are magic words, too. They immediately put people at ease in high-stress situations. Use them, and you’ll immediately have any situation under control.
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Using the right words at the right time makes all the difference. We’ve covered a lot of words and situations, but there’s something you really need to remember: these magic words will work with most people most of the time, but not with all of the people all of the time.
Don’t be discouraged when they don’t work for you. Keep practicing! The more you use them, the more they’ll become second nature. Eventually, armed with these magic words – and your dedication, ambition, and drive – instead of counting conversations, you’ll soon be having conversations that count.
We’re not sure if this book by Phil M. Jones, Exactly What to Say is for you, but maybe you’ll know someone else who’s interested.
Okay, you caught us; we’re playing a little game with you here. You see, the phrase “I’m not sure if this is for you, but …” already gets you interested. The first part of the phrase hits your subconscious brain with the feeling that there’s no pressure involved; perhaps you’ll be interested, perhaps you won’t. And at the same time, the suggestion that you might not be interested actually piques your interest and primes you with the idea that a decision has to be made: is it for you, or not?
Adding on the word but at the end, though, is where the real magic comes in. Using but cancels out the “I’m not sure …” part of the sentence and your subconscious simply says, “I want to look at this!”
So, since we’ve already got you hooked, let’s get into some more magic words that can help you steer any conversation or business transaction to work in your favor.
---
Steering the Conversation
How open-minded are you? Consider that question for a moment. Almost everyone believes that they’re open-minded. Phil Jones, the author of Exactly What to Say, says that if you start a conversation with that phrase and follow it with the idea you want the person to opt into, the odds of them doing so rise from 50-50 to 90-10 in your favor. So if you ask, for instance, “Would you be open-minded about us working together on this?” it makes it difficult for the other person to reject your idea. They feel an obligation to at least try.
Sometimes you find that the person you’re speaking with wants to argue with you. They’re convinced that they know best. To avoid getting into a debate, resist the temptation to try to win the argument, and regain control of the conversation, you can try turning the discussion around by using the words “What do you know about …” These words allow you to test the basis on which the other person’s reasoning is based. Your aim is to get them to recognize that they have insufficient evidence to form their strongly held opinion. So you could try something like, “What do you know about our products?” or “What do you know about the way our business works?” When the other person then answers, you’re in a position to correct any errors in their knowledge.
Getting someone to agree on a date and time to see you to discuss your proposal, business idea, or product can often be challenging. But there’s some good news. A simple phrase will help you overcome other people telling you they don’t have time. When you ask someone, “When would be a good time to … ?” the other person’s subconscious is already tuned into the idea that there is a good time and that saying no isn’t the right response. By using the phrase you’ve demonstrated to the other person that you know they’re busy but there will be a time when they can fit you in.
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Presenting Options
If you’ve sent some business materials in advance of a meeting, or it’s the second time you’re seeing a person after pitching your idea, you still need to keep control of the conversation. A good opening phrase in such situations is “I guess you haven’t got around to …” This allows the other person to save face. So, for example, if the person had said they need to consult their partner, you could say “I guess you haven’t got around to talking to your partner, yet.” In this scenario, the person will either be proud that they have actually done it or be embarrassed that they haven’t.
At the end of your presentations, how often do you close with, “Do you have any questions?” Many people do, but what this question does is create an expectation in the other person that they should have a question and feel stupid if they don’t have any. If you change the wording to “What questions do you have for me?” the other person either has a question or has no questions at all. If the former, you can provide the answer, and if the latter, then you’re closer to closing your deal.
In the same vein, instead of asking “Can I have your phone number?” try saying “What’s the best number for me to contact you on?” The Can I question creates resistance – the other person can see it as invading their privacy. The second question usually results in no resistance.
Everyone needs to feel as if they’re the one making the final decision. You can help this process by narrowing down the choices. You can do this by using the phrase “As I see it, you have three options.” Presenting three options not only makes it easier for the other person, but also allows you to build up to the final one, which is, of course, the one you want them to make.
Let’s illustrate this with an example. Start by setting the scene, the other person’s current situation – stuck in a boring job with no prospects, long hours so no time for family, and money is tight. Then remind the other person about the exciting opportunity that you’ve just shown them. Now, they have three options. First, search for new positions, send their résumé and applications, have interviews, find another employer, and end up doing the same kind of work for little extra reward. Second, do nothing and stay in their present situation. Third, work the opportunity you’ve shown them alongside their existing job. Finish by asking, “And which of those three options is going to be easier for you?” These final magic words will seal the deal!
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Cause and Effect
There are two types of people in this world, people who immediately put into action what they hear about, and those who do nothing. We’re sure you already identify – or want to identify – with the first group of people. The moment the phrase “two types of people” is uttered, the voice in your head or anyone else’s says, “I must be one or the other,” and of course, you and they want to pick the more favorable choice.
I bet you’re a bit like me: you’d rather be working on something productive than flicking through Netflix in the evenings. Even if, in this case, you’re not like me, those words are powerful when it comes to getting someone to agree with you. If the person disagrees with you, it’s a useful tool to gather information about the person you’re presenting to. And when they do agree, it takes away possible future objections – especially if it comes to saying they don’t have time for the opportunity you’re offering them.
Do you remember the kind of things your parents used to tell you when you were a kid? Quite probably, they sometimes took the form of conditional statements. What do we mean by that? Well, statements that start with if and have a consequence that continues after then. An example might be, “If you don’t study hard at school, then you won’t be able to go to college.” Or, “If you don’t tidy your room, then you’re grounded.” These, If …, then … statements are powerful because the pattern they’ve created in your brain has hardwired the feeling that the consequences are always true.
All well and good, but what does it mean for you in business and personal development? Consider these two examples: “If you give this a try, then you won’t be disappointed.” And, “If you put this sentence pattern into practice, then you’ll certainly see results when you do.”
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Guiding Next Steps
Imagine for a moment that you’ve gone back in time to when you were a child. You’re at the beach and there’s a rocky outcrop from which you can jump into the sea. You’re with other kids, too, but none of you wants to be the first to jump. Eventually, the first brave kid leaps into the water and lands with a splash. As soon as everyone sees the big smile on the first kid’s face and the fact that they’re not hurt, everyone wants a go.
You see, the thing about us humans is that we like to be followers and we trust in safety in numbers. And that’s where our next magic words come in: most people. When we use those words to describe a situation to someone, their subconscious says that if most people do that, then probably they should too.
Do you want to hear how most people can turn negatives into positives? They can use a technique known as labeling. When you label something in a conversation, it becomes difficult for that label to be removed. Quite literally, the label sticks! And this is how you can use the magic words, The good news is …
Let’s illustrate this with an example of someone who’s doubting their ability to work in business with you. You can reassure them by saying, “The good news is that other people were in the same situation when they started out, but we were able to support them and now they’re very successful.” This gets the person to look forward and, as Jones puts it “zaps any negative energy out of the conversation.”
So you’ve invested time explaining your business proposition to a prospect, they’ve agreed with everything you’ve said, and the point has come when you want them to commit, to make a decision – but suddenly the conversation ends abruptly. What do you do? Well, what you don’t do is leave the decision-making to happen by itself, or to your prospect. It’s here that you can lead them through the decision-making process by using the words “What happens next is …” Effectively, what you do is lead your prospect by the hand through to completion. Don’t tell them what you want them to do, rather tell them exactly what the next steps are.
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Easing into Decisions
It’s Friday night, and you really want to meet up with your friend at the movie theater. They decline saying they can’t get there because their car is at the garage. You can overcome this objection using an “If I can… Will you?” structure, so, “If I can pick you up and drop you off afterward, will you be ready at 8:00 p.m.?” This simple technique also works in negotiations, on price for instance – “If I can match that price, will you be able to place an order?”
Getting someone to say yes when they’ve been heading toward no is a pretty difficult task. What you really need to do is get them to switch to maybe first. How can you do that? Try steering them back toward your idea using the words, “Before you make your mind up …”
So, for example, you could say “Before you make your mind up, let’s just go over the details again and make sure we covered all the facts.” This kind of sentence will allow the negotiation to continue. You might be able to present the facts in a slightly different way, or cover material you previously omitted, changing the perspective of your prospect and steering them once more in the direction of yes.
You’ve probably been told many times by people that they need more time to think. Usually, this means nothing of the sort, rather that they’re kicking the decision-making down the road. You might feel like responding with, “What is it you need to think about?” but don’t do that – as it stands, that just seems rude and a little bit aggressive. And definitely don’t walk away and tell the other person to come back to you when they’re ready. Instead, why not prefix it with some magic words, like this “Just out of curiosity, what is it that you need to think about?”
And then – and this is important – say nothing and wait for a response. There are two possible outcomes. First, the other person will give you an honest reason and you can work with them on that, or second, they’ll tell you that there’s actually nothing stopping them from proceeding. You can add the magic words “Just out of curiosity …” in many situations to make what otherwise might have been a rude question into a means to identify their objections.
Don’t worry, we know that there have been a lot of magic words in this book for you to remember and use. You’ll get to know them as you first practice them and then master them. Actually, those two words we just used – don’t worry – are magic words, too. They immediately put people at ease in high-stress situations. Use them, and you’ll immediately have any situation under control.
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Using the right words at the right time makes all the difference. We’ve covered a lot of words and situations, but there’s something you really need to remember: these magic words will work with most people most of the time, but not with all of the people all of the time.
Don’t be discouraged when they don’t work for you. Keep practicing! The more you use them, the more they’ll become second nature. Eventually, armed with these magic words – and your dedication, ambition, and drive – instead of counting conversations, you’ll soon be having conversations that count.
July 2, 2022
Mostly useful for sales trainings, but still some good tips for everyday conversations.
Avoid BUT in conversations
How open minded would you be about…
How do you know?
How would you feel if…?
Start with “Imagine…”
When would be a good time?
What do you like about it?
I’m guessing you haven’t got around to…
Turn open question into closed one
(instead of “Do you have any questions?”, say “What questions do you have for me?”; instead of “Can I have your phone number?” say “What’s the best number to contact you on?”)
You have 3 options… (leave your preferred to last) …what’s going to be easier for you?
2 types of people: those who judge something before the’ve tried it and those who are prepared to try and base their opinion on own experience; those who resist change in favour of nostalgia and those who move with times and create a better future.
I bet you’re a bit like me
If Then
Don’t worry
Most people (indecision is the biggest thing that stands in the way of progress)
The good news is… That’s great “you found another way it doesnt work”
What happens next is… finish with a question that is effortless to answer
What makes you say that? Control conversation by asking questions instead of objecting with counterarguments
Before you make your mind up… from position of No to continue conversation
If I can, will you…?
Would 3 be enough for you? When choice is between 2 and 3
Just one more thing… For downsell 2nd choice or Trial for further attempt
Could you do me a small favour? Ask for referrals
Just out of curiosity… what is it that’s stopping you from moving forward now?
Avoid BUT in conversations
How open minded would you be about…
How do you know?
How would you feel if…?
Start with “Imagine…”
When would be a good time?
What do you like about it?
I’m guessing you haven’t got around to…
Turn open question into closed one
(instead of “Do you have any questions?”, say “What questions do you have for me?”; instead of “Can I have your phone number?” say “What’s the best number to contact you on?”)
You have 3 options… (leave your preferred to last) …what’s going to be easier for you?
2 types of people: those who judge something before the’ve tried it and those who are prepared to try and base their opinion on own experience; those who resist change in favour of nostalgia and those who move with times and create a better future.
I bet you’re a bit like me
If Then
Don’t worry
Most people (indecision is the biggest thing that stands in the way of progress)
The good news is… That’s great “you found another way it doesnt work”
What happens next is… finish with a question that is effortless to answer
What makes you say that? Control conversation by asking questions instead of objecting with counterarguments
Before you make your mind up… from position of No to continue conversation
If I can, will you…?
Would 3 be enough for you? When choice is between 2 and 3
Just one more thing… For downsell 2nd choice or Trial for further attempt
Could you do me a small favour? Ask for referrals
Just out of curiosity… what is it that’s stopping you from moving forward now?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 7, 2024
DNF. Glad I got this from the library and didn’t waste my money. The content was so cringe it was hard to read more than 2 or 3 chapters each day which is why I didn’t get through it before it was due back. This book is full of passive aggressive verbiage that may work for the white male VP of a company. But us girl bosses gotta be a bit more assertive than this is suggesting if we want to get anywhere in life or the workplace. Disappointed this didn’t have better take aways.
July 19, 2023
জুনিয়র ব্র্যান্ড ম্যানেজার হিসাবে প্রথম টাস্কস্বরূপ বইখানা পড়া লাগল। ব্র্যান্ডিং এর জন্য আমাদের ভাষ্য খুব বেশি ইম্পর্ট্যান্ট। সেজন্য বইখানা মানানসই। পাব্লিক স্পিকার হিসাবে লেখক একটা সিকুয়েন্সে বইখান লিখছেন কিভাবে আমরা আমাদের বলার অ্যাপ্রোচ পরিবর্তন করতে পারি। চ্যাপ্টারের ধারাবাহিকতায় কিছু জরুরি বিষয় উঠে আসছে আরকি।
January 24, 2025
This book was basically a key to manipulate people into getting what you want (used in the context of the business world). It was interesting! What I mainly took from it was to identify when people are trying to manipulate and control me. I won’t be using these practices on people as that goes against what I believe morally.
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