When Is Enough Enough

by Laurie Ashner

A guide to help all those who never feel satisfied confront the reality of whatever it is that bars their way towards happiness. Using examples, the authors explain why some people want what they can never have, and why others never seem to find the "right" career or relationship.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction

Paperback

First published September 1, 1996

Reviews

[Etienne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Je ne suis pas un grand lecteur de psy-pop/croissance personnelle, mais ayant quelques lacunes ou faiblesses morales, comme un peu tout le monde je crois, je jette parfois un œil sur quelques trouvailles qui me semblent particulièrement intéressantes. C'était le cas de ce livre, et je n'ai pas été déçu. Malgré les parties de tranches de vies, qui ne m'ont pas du tout intéressé, l'essentiel du livre, la partie plus psychologique et réflexive, est très intéressante et concrète. On explique les raisons possibles de ce mal être et on donne des pistes de solutions. J'ai pris quelques notes, j'ai cheminé, j'ai réfléchi et je crois avoir grandi au cours de cette lecture. On y évite les pièges de la pensée magique et des promesses de révolution facile. Un bel équilibre, on livre bien fait!

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

PLOT OR PREMISE:
The premise of this book is that there are many people who never feel satisfied, nor take the time to feel satisfied, and are always looking forward to the next obstacle, next project, next item on their to-do list -- and whatever they have done, or accomplished, is never enough.
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WHAT I LIKED:
"There is a lot to like in this book. Some highlights:
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- Never-enough thinkers act compulsively...unsure about what they really want, they stay in constant motion. (p.2)
- Having been taught not to depend on other people, you take more than your share of the blame for what goes wrong in your relationships, at work, and in your family. (p.4)
- Realize that if you could ""just do it"", you would have done it. (p.5)
- There's a saying in Twelve Step programs: Your best thinking got you here. (p.9)
- When we suppress our painful feelings, we lose our happy feelings too. (p.32)
- You get an illusion of security from having all of these untapped talents. (p.47)
- Depression indicates that the self system has had to retreat to a lower level of functioning in the face of its inability to meet higher goals. Depression also serves as a communication, a message to the world at large that the self system can no longer be counted upon, that it has ceased to function in some significant degree, that one has lost hope, and that help must come from the outside. In other words, the self says, ""enough is enough"", and retreats away not only from the feelings that are most troublesome, but all feelings in general. It's a concept that goes far toward explaining why depressed people often feel, ""What's the use?"" (p.67)
- You have an emotional thermostat turned high to nuances, a sensitivity to a lot of surplus information other people filter out and disregard. This sensitivity is your strength at times. But it has an enormous cost. (p.84)
- We meet the right person when we become the right person. (p.144)
- There's an interesting fact about blaming oneself which explains why so many people are so willing to take it on. If one is at fault, then one can always do better. As long as one is responsible, one always has hope. (p.208)"
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WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE:
Some of the approach gets a bit repetitive in trying to emphasize or illustrate certain points.
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BOTTOM-LINE:
An excellent self-help resource
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DISCLOSURE:
I received no compensation, not even a free copy, in exchange for this review. I am not personal friends with the authors, nor do I follow him or her on social media.

[Antti · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Sivutöinä" lueskelin kirjaston poistoista löytämääni persoonankehityskirjaa.
Pitkästä aikaa oli mukava lukea kirjaa, joka vielä teitittelee lukijaa. Siitä tulee aina niin juhlava olo, tässä tapauksessa kuin olisin psykiatrin puhuteltavana.

Sisältö on perin amerikkalaista, onneksi asioita ei toistella niin moninkertaisesti kuin heidän tapoihinsa kuuluu. Näin kirja oli sujuvaa luettavaa. Kappaleiden lopussa on vielä pitkät listat kysymyksiä, joiden kautta lukija voi peilata omia ajatuksiaan.

Asiallinen kirja kaiken kaikkiaan, ei tarjoa helppoja ratkaisuja eikä huuhaata, vaan ihan järkeviä ajatuksia.

[Sand · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent livre qui donne de vraies explications et de bonnes instructions pour avancer soi-même dans un premier temps.
Petit bémol pour les trop nombreuses vies des autres qui n'apportent pas forcément quelque chose au livre sauf pour ceux qui aiment la vie des autres.

[Roos · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kutipan dari buku ini:

Mencari Kepuasan, panduan Perubahan dan Pertumbuhan:
1. Terimalah apa yang benar bagi anda.
2. Lihatlah bagaimana gejala-gejala anda bisa membantu anda.
Gejalanya adalah:
* Rasa Bahagia hanya berumur pendek.
* Menginginkan apa yang tidak dapat diperoleh.
* Tidak dapat santai.
* Membandingkan diri sendiri dengan orang lain.
* Apa yang anda peroleh lebih kecil daripada yang anda
berikan.
* Bosan dan gelisah.
* Tidak dapat menemukan orang yang tepat.
3. Gunakan hidup anda sebagai cermin sistem kepercayaan batin anda sendiri.
4. Pahamilah bahwa yang anda inginkan mungkin lain dari yang anda butuhkan.
5. Ekspresikan suara anda. Visi dan wawasan anda harus diikuti dengan tindakan nyata akan perubahan.
6. Usahakan bersikap Empatik dengan mendengarkan tanpa mengadili yaitu hadir dihadapan seseorang tanpa kebutuhan untuk menjadikannya lebik baik, mengubahnya atau menasehatinya. Empati sejati membuahkan pembebasan emosional.
7. Temukan keseimbangan Jiwa maupun Raga. Luangkan waktu untuk keseimbangan mental, emosional, spiritual dan fisik.
8. Ambilah lompatan spiritual, sangat penting bagi orang yang tidak pernah puas karena merupakan sumber kekuatan dan awal dari perasaan bahwa kita tidak sendirian juga merupakan sumber ikatan dengan orang lain, sumber tujuan dan sumber kedamaian.

Have a nice reading!

[Leslie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had some great teaching and concepts but the writing was to often dry. I am glad I read it.

[Nikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful but not mind-blowing.