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Bulletproof Confidence: The Art of Not Caring What People Think and Living Fearlessly
Stop making decisions based on fear of failure, rejection, anxiety, and judgment. Break out of your shell and live boldly. All the goals you have, all the people you are jealous of, and the life you want to live are unlocked by one simple Bulletproof Confidence. Everybody wants it, but how do you get it? Not just “fake it ‘til you make it” or “just smile more.” Bulletproof Confidence is filled with real, actionable advice for your life TODAY. It’s not generic, borderline useless advice you can read in any blog post online. This book will take you on a deep dive into the depth of confidence, self-perception, and the psychology of confidence – understand yourself so you can break through your mental barriers. Everything from psychology, biology, and even cognitive behavioral therapy is referenced in giving you the tools to feel more invincible on a daily basis. Finally feel comfortable in your own skin. Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and sought-after social skills coach and trainer. He was also one of the plumpest children you’ve ever seen, and understands the pains and processes of confidence like few others. This book was written by someone who knows exactly what you’re facing and how you’re hurting. In addition, a companion workbook is here for your disposal. Quiet the voice in your head and live how you want to. - Learn the subconscious triggers that make you fearful and what to do about them. - Smash imposter syndrome, analysis paralysis, and perfectionism. - The life-changing magic of taking action. - How to change your self-perception and feedback loops. Become bolder, more fearless, and good enough. - How to prepare yourself for any obstacle. - Mindsets for success and mindsets to avoid. - How cognitive behavioral therapy can help you. - Why to embrace the zone of “mere discomfort.” Stop thinking about the “what ifs” in your life. Because confidence will turn them all into inevitabilities. Your goals, your social circle, your relationships, your career, and your life – confidence is the key. Confidence creates the life you want and lets you smash through goals, while making sure you never feel invisible, waste your potential, or feel paralyzed from anxiety. Say goodbye to fear and anxiety TODAY by scrolling up and clicking the BUY NOW button! Don't forget the Workbook as well! This is the third book in the “Be Confident and Fearless” series as listed 1. Stop People Be Assertive, Stop Caring What Others Think, Beat Your Guilt, & Stop Being a Pushover 2. The Art of Everyday Speak Up. Set Boundaries. Say No. Take Back Control. Get What You Want. 3. Bulletproof The Art of Not Caring What People Think and Living Fearlessly 4. Fearless Social Strategies to Live Without Insecurity, Speak Without Fear, Beat Social Anxiety, and Stop Caring What Others Think 5. Mental Toughness & Iron Become Tenacious, Resilient, Psychologically Strong, and Tough as Nails
194 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 14, 2015
288 people are currently reading
444 people want to read
About the author
Patrick King
203 books332 followersPatrick King is a Social Interaction Specialist, in other words, a dating, online dating, image, and communication and social skills coach based in San Francisco, California, and has been featured on numerous national publications such as Inc.com. He’s also a #1 Amazon best-selling dating and relationships author with the most popular online dating book on the market, and writes frequently on dating, love, sex, and relationships.
He focuses on using his emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success. No pickup artistry and no gimmicks, simply a thorough mastery of human psychology delivered with a dose of real talk, perfected and honed through three years of law school.
He focuses on using his emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success. No pickup artistry and no gimmicks, simply a thorough mastery of human psychology delivered with a dose of real talk, perfected and honed through three years of law school.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
August 12, 2018
Very well written book on confidence.
The author brings to our attention what matters, how to identify patterns and also ways to change those patterns to increase your confidence. I suggest anyone interested in growing, helping others and every parent read this!
The author brings to our attention what matters, how to identify patterns and also ways to change those patterns to increase your confidence. I suggest anyone interested in growing, helping others and every parent read this!
March 7, 2021
I’m tired of feeling so puny and feeble lately, and I know those feelings have been holding me back. The idea of living fearlessly, and especially not caring what anyone else thinks, made this book irresistible to me.
I’ve studied this stuff a lot, so there’s not much new in here. And yet, this book may turn out to be a life-changer for me. If nothing else, it was an extremely valuable review of the best practices and tidbits I’ve learned over the past 20 years.
The reality is, when I was in school and working for others, I was very confident. I don’t remember ever doubting that I could do something, or that it would work when I did. Ever! When I started my business, it seems like it was much the same, at least as long as I had my first coach. I felt fear a lot, but I did whatever he said anyway. He believed I could do it, so obviously, I could. Boom. I did.
I don’t know if all my lack of confidence came from the things I tried that didn’t work right away (after he launched me from the nest) or what exactly went wrong. I guess that must be it. It seems like, for years after that, even when I had a coach, I tried and tried and tried, and nothing I touched really worked.
And then something did, and it was a success beyond what I dared to hope for, and then I had another, even bigger success. Yet, lately, I’ve been more afraid and lacking in confidence than ever. It’s been hard to get myself to do anything at all because it all seemed so pointless, and even doing it, let alone succeeding, seemed so far outside my grasp. This really doesn’t add up, even to me, but that’s how it’s been.
For me, the two biggest takeaways from this book are:
1. Build your confidence by doing the thing. Start with the tiniest forays outside your comfort zone, and keeping building to bigger challenges as your confidence and comfort level grow. And while you’re doing that, measure your progress against some kind of objecting measure, so you can see how far you’ve come! I was definitely forgetting that before.
2. Your definition of a “strength” vs. a “weakness” may be completely skewed. The author defines a strength as something you’re above average at or better than most of your friends at. A weakness is something you’re below average at or worse than most of your friends at.
This one has been blowing my mind. I was apparently defining strengths as only the things I could beat myself at, basically. Which is pretty hard. If a strength is something you’re better than half the population at... holy crap. So many things I thought of as weaknesses are actually strengths.
Seriously, I’ve been assuming that my strengths were: being smart, writing, learning, marketing, putting together books, and coaching. Maybe listening. Maybe design. I’m good at that, but am I among the best at it? Probably not.
I would have listed as weaknesses: fixing anything physical, driving, making videos, editing videos, public speaking, talking to people, all sports, running, bowling, social media, playing pool, HVAC knowledge and repair, navigation, parking, driving a forklift, fashion, interior decorating, drawing, being an artist in general, math, project planning, packing for a trip, cost estimation... the list goes on and on and on.
But this definition turns all that on its head. I’m better than average in almost all of those things. The average is just so damn low! What’s left on my list of weaknesses? Playing football. Maybe still all the sports?
But really, that’s about it. Even things I think of myself as being really bad at, like HVAC, home repair, and mechanic-ing, I’m probably above average at. Based on the stories I’ve heard, apparently most people have no clue that, if their HVAC unit stops working, they should try turning it off and turning it back on. Maybe trip the breaker, wait a few minutes, then trip it back. If the fan won’t stop blowing and you want it to, definitely trip the breaker. Change the air filter. Hell, I’ve replaced a thermostat myself. I’ve installed a dimmer switch in my dining room. I’ve replaced the headlight bulbs in my car. Above average!
It’s been really eye-opening, thinking of things this way. I keep trying to think of weaknesses, and I keep finding that they’re actually strengths. Even running, I’m slow as shit and I often spend weeks and weeks on week 1 of Coach to 5K. But is that below average for the general population? I bet it’s not!
This book may well turn out to be a life-changer. Rock on!
Also, I’ve seen some reviews that have criticized this book for just being all “rah rah rah!” and not offering practical strategies or advice. That’s simply not true. Maybe those reviewers didn’t want to take the advice, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.
I’ve studied this stuff a lot, so there’s not much new in here. And yet, this book may turn out to be a life-changer for me. If nothing else, it was an extremely valuable review of the best practices and tidbits I’ve learned over the past 20 years.
The reality is, when I was in school and working for others, I was very confident. I don’t remember ever doubting that I could do something, or that it would work when I did. Ever! When I started my business, it seems like it was much the same, at least as long as I had my first coach. I felt fear a lot, but I did whatever he said anyway. He believed I could do it, so obviously, I could. Boom. I did.
I don’t know if all my lack of confidence came from the things I tried that didn’t work right away (after he launched me from the nest) or what exactly went wrong. I guess that must be it. It seems like, for years after that, even when I had a coach, I tried and tried and tried, and nothing I touched really worked.
And then something did, and it was a success beyond what I dared to hope for, and then I had another, even bigger success. Yet, lately, I’ve been more afraid and lacking in confidence than ever. It’s been hard to get myself to do anything at all because it all seemed so pointless, and even doing it, let alone succeeding, seemed so far outside my grasp. This really doesn’t add up, even to me, but that’s how it’s been.
For me, the two biggest takeaways from this book are:
1. Build your confidence by doing the thing. Start with the tiniest forays outside your comfort zone, and keeping building to bigger challenges as your confidence and comfort level grow. And while you’re doing that, measure your progress against some kind of objecting measure, so you can see how far you’ve come! I was definitely forgetting that before.
2. Your definition of a “strength” vs. a “weakness” may be completely skewed. The author defines a strength as something you’re above average at or better than most of your friends at. A weakness is something you’re below average at or worse than most of your friends at.
This one has been blowing my mind. I was apparently defining strengths as only the things I could beat myself at, basically. Which is pretty hard. If a strength is something you’re better than half the population at... holy crap. So many things I thought of as weaknesses are actually strengths.
Seriously, I’ve been assuming that my strengths were: being smart, writing, learning, marketing, putting together books, and coaching. Maybe listening. Maybe design. I’m good at that, but am I among the best at it? Probably not.
I would have listed as weaknesses: fixing anything physical, driving, making videos, editing videos, public speaking, talking to people, all sports, running, bowling, social media, playing pool, HVAC knowledge and repair, navigation, parking, driving a forklift, fashion, interior decorating, drawing, being an artist in general, math, project planning, packing for a trip, cost estimation... the list goes on and on and on.
But this definition turns all that on its head. I’m better than average in almost all of those things. The average is just so damn low! What’s left on my list of weaknesses? Playing football. Maybe still all the sports?
But really, that’s about it. Even things I think of myself as being really bad at, like HVAC, home repair, and mechanic-ing, I’m probably above average at. Based on the stories I’ve heard, apparently most people have no clue that, if their HVAC unit stops working, they should try turning it off and turning it back on. Maybe trip the breaker, wait a few minutes, then trip it back. If the fan won’t stop blowing and you want it to, definitely trip the breaker. Change the air filter. Hell, I’ve replaced a thermostat myself. I’ve installed a dimmer switch in my dining room. I’ve replaced the headlight bulbs in my car. Above average!
It’s been really eye-opening, thinking of things this way. I keep trying to think of weaknesses, and I keep finding that they’re actually strengths. Even running, I’m slow as shit and I often spend weeks and weeks on week 1 of Coach to 5K. But is that below average for the general population? I bet it’s not!
This book may well turn out to be a life-changer. Rock on!
Also, I’ve seen some reviews that have criticized this book for just being all “rah rah rah!” and not offering practical strategies or advice. That’s simply not true. Maybe those reviewers didn’t want to take the advice, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.
July 20, 2024
Definitely self published; self contradictory as well. In the first section he literally says to use comparison with others to build yourself up, and then a short bit later he says only heartache comes from comparison, never compare yourself with others!
I finished it because it was incredibly short and I'll apparently read anything. I don't think this author is a good writer or an expert in human behavior or anything like that. He does not examine the downside of self confidence, or why too much of it might not be that great.
I don't think anyone can get anything from this book.
I finished it because it was incredibly short and I'll apparently read anything. I don't think this author is a good writer or an expert in human behavior or anything like that. He does not examine the downside of self confidence, or why too much of it might not be that great.
I don't think anyone can get anything from this book.
January 12, 2018
This book offered me important insights and accurate terms for symptoms I knew. My main take away is that I came to realize that I was addicted to achievements as my primary strategy to build my self-esteem, which eventually cracks down. Our inherent human value is more important and above our achievements. My inner critic is fully matured and managing it is difficult but not impossible. The book is problem-solution focused. I recommend.
July 28, 2018
I did set personal best record with this book! This book really takes you on a ride to understand yourself in easy and simple language.
Patrick King has done a great job of making this simpler for people who are struggling to feel confident about themselves. Each sentence was so profound that I couldn’t stop highlighting!
For the people like me out there, who look for actionable advice to enhance their confidence, this is a must read!
Patrick King has done a great job of making this simpler for people who are struggling to feel confident about themselves. Each sentence was so profound that I couldn’t stop highlighting!
For the people like me out there, who look for actionable advice to enhance their confidence, this is a must read!
March 26, 2019
Action not a bag of mouth
If you are a self help junkie, this is merely a checklist for the tons of books you devoured over the years—if you are a newbie this is an excellent starting point for your journey of building self confidence; don't mind the small price, even though it comes with a few typos. However, "having knowledge and not taking action with that knowledge is the same as having no knowledge at all."
If you are a self help junkie, this is merely a checklist for the tons of books you devoured over the years—if you are a newbie this is an excellent starting point for your journey of building self confidence; don't mind the small price, even though it comes with a few typos. However, "having knowledge and not taking action with that knowledge is the same as having no knowledge at all."
May 9, 2022
A good idea don’t judge yourself based on your failures he explains how it doesn’t make sense though once he said it i thought of many other reasons. Good activity with guidelines to see how u see yourself. Explains how we use perceived weaknesses a cop out. How positivity and confidence go hand in hand. Very good bits of wisdom, perspectives u can implement.
November 23, 2022
Has clear, practical messages about confidence and perception with no sugar coating which is my style. Some bits are a bit meh like the recurring use of the “fat kid” anecdote and there are a fair few typos but otherwise an overall good, concise read on the topic of confidence.
October 14, 2017
Awesome book!
It was all written! Definitely tells you the steps to improve your confidence. I recommend this book for anybody that needs confidence
It was all written! Definitely tells you the steps to improve your confidence. I recommend this book for anybody that needs confidence
January 26, 2018
Good read
It was a pretty good read. Had a lot of word/spelling errors tho :/ but still a good book overall.
It was a pretty good read. Had a lot of word/spelling errors tho :/ but still a good book overall.
March 9, 2018
Great book, easy and quick
Nice book, more techniques would be good. The examples made the book rich and delightful. I will recommend this my friends
Nice book, more techniques would be good. The examples made the book rich and delightful. I will recommend this my friends
February 19, 2020
I Enjoyed This!
Enjoyable and practical. Well-organized. Easy to read conversational style. Not too technical. Good supportive references. Many actionable ideas. Thank you!
Enjoyable and practical. Well-organized. Easy to read conversational style. Not too technical. Good supportive references. Many actionable ideas. Thank you!
October 4, 2021
Should have title this book: Arrogance, a few tips on how to be a sociopath and succeed, possibly, in business.
April 23, 2022
Another one bites the dust. Another book translated into Urdu. Gave me a chance to refresh my memory about what the confidence means. Found it useful though a bit brief. Now on to the next one.
January 13, 2023
average, nothing new
Usual confidence stuff, nothing new. So many books like this, do we really need any more? Mindfulness books are better. Never did rate cut.
Usual confidence stuff, nothing new. So many books like this, do we really need any more? Mindfulness books are better. Never did rate cut.
June 19, 2025
Living fearlessly is such a joy. Well written.
December 1, 2016
This book was a pretty amazing read into building confidence. Patrick King really knows his stuff and the writing style moves the reader through the pages pretty quickly. The author's voice and style is easy to follow and there are no lengthy psychological description, and no fluff. When I was finished I had a massively better understanding of confidence and how to start applying it to my daily actions. I could also grasp why I was struggling to become more confident in relationships, business and social situations.
I enjoyed the expressions Patrick uses to deliver his message in the book. For example: "Without confidence, your talents will live locked inside a shoebox, likely never to be discovered and open." In this book on developing bullet proof confidence, Patrick King gets into some great material that can tear down our confidence if we are not aware of it.
The “Imposter Syndrome,” first of all, happens when we are slaves to our own expectations. As the author states, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. By recognizing when this exists in our personality, we can manage and try to remove it. Chapter 5 “Draw Confidence Internally” is about trusting in yourself and not putting your life in someone else’s hands. When you do, you can lose control of your choices later on down the road.
The book hits all the right target points when it comes to building and maintaining confidence throughout the day.
For example:
• how to deal with perfection
• Vulnerability
• Choosing to be confident
• Dealing with/handling failure
• Following through with incremental goals
• Looking good to feel good: by staying in shape we can significantly blast our confidence.
Most of the topics are based on the author’s personal experience and perceptions with people at a social level; this is one reason why the material is so original and not rehashed from other books.
There are a lot of lessons to be learned here and fortunately, each chapter can be read in just under 3 minutes, making it the perfect material to absorb quickly.
My favourite chapter is the final one: 6 Confidence Destroying Mindsets to rid yourself of. With the wrong mindset you can unknowingly be destroying your confidence. This chapter covers:
• All or nothing conclusions
• Overgeneralizations
• Magnifications
• Minimization
• Should Statements
• Mislabelling
As Patrick King wraps it up, he states that: “Confidence is a concept that can transform lives, but must also come from within to be strong.” This book is definitely worth the time to read. It is well-written, organized and researched by an author who is an authority on the subject.
I enjoyed the expressions Patrick uses to deliver his message in the book. For example: "Without confidence, your talents will live locked inside a shoebox, likely never to be discovered and open." In this book on developing bullet proof confidence, Patrick King gets into some great material that can tear down our confidence if we are not aware of it.
The “Imposter Syndrome,” first of all, happens when we are slaves to our own expectations. As the author states, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. By recognizing when this exists in our personality, we can manage and try to remove it. Chapter 5 “Draw Confidence Internally” is about trusting in yourself and not putting your life in someone else’s hands. When you do, you can lose control of your choices later on down the road.
The book hits all the right target points when it comes to building and maintaining confidence throughout the day.
For example:
• how to deal with perfection
• Vulnerability
• Choosing to be confident
• Dealing with/handling failure
• Following through with incremental goals
• Looking good to feel good: by staying in shape we can significantly blast our confidence.
Most of the topics are based on the author’s personal experience and perceptions with people at a social level; this is one reason why the material is so original and not rehashed from other books.
There are a lot of lessons to be learned here and fortunately, each chapter can be read in just under 3 minutes, making it the perfect material to absorb quickly.
My favourite chapter is the final one: 6 Confidence Destroying Mindsets to rid yourself of. With the wrong mindset you can unknowingly be destroying your confidence. This chapter covers:
• All or nothing conclusions
• Overgeneralizations
• Magnifications
• Minimization
• Should Statements
• Mislabelling
As Patrick King wraps it up, he states that: “Confidence is a concept that can transform lives, but must also come from within to be strong.” This book is definitely worth the time to read. It is well-written, organized and researched by an author who is an authority on the subject.
May 24, 2025
This book was pretty good, but not amazing. There was a lot of confidence explanation/theory and fewer actionable steps than I would prefer. Other than that, there was some interesting insight and new ways of thinking of confidence that I hadn't thought of/heard before.
Generally, some of the ideas (like a confidence resume, getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things to boost your confidence, etc. - don't want to spoil the whole book) to improve your confidence were good, useful and I will try them.
The cognitive restructuring (this is not the author's idea, he was just including it) seemed like one of the worst strategies.
Summary: Jason got dumped by Mary. He feels bad about himself and thinks he might be unlovable, ugly, etc.
"He could look at the dysfunctional thoughts that are making him feel terrible and begin treating them as guesses rather than accepting them. What are other possible explanations?" (153)
Somehow, it doesn't really seem like a solution to treat thoughts of being unlovable, ugly, etc. as "guesses". If you're having those thoughts, you're having them for a reason, probably related to self-esteem. Fix the self-esteem, fix the thoughts. That's like saying you're getting a physical symptom but it's not signaling a disease, it's just a "guess" something might be wrong. I did not find this section useful at all.
The author included personal stories and lots of examples to illustrate his points.
This book was an easy read and quick for me to get through. That helped boost its rating.
Compared to other Patrick King books I've read so far, it was decent but not as amazing as the first one I read, How To Listen, Hear & Validate. Still a worthwhile read though. I almost never buy books but I bought this one - and it was worth it.
I would recommend to people interested in improving their confidence, and learning more about confidence in general. You may learn something new from this book.
Generally, some of the ideas (like a confidence resume, getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things to boost your confidence, etc. - don't want to spoil the whole book) to improve your confidence were good, useful and I will try them.
The cognitive restructuring (this is not the author's idea, he was just including it) seemed like one of the worst strategies.
Summary: Jason got dumped by Mary. He feels bad about himself and thinks he might be unlovable, ugly, etc.
"He could look at the dysfunctional thoughts that are making him feel terrible and begin treating them as guesses rather than accepting them. What are other possible explanations?" (153)
Somehow, it doesn't really seem like a solution to treat thoughts of being unlovable, ugly, etc. as "guesses". If you're having those thoughts, you're having them for a reason, probably related to self-esteem. Fix the self-esteem, fix the thoughts. That's like saying you're getting a physical symptom but it's not signaling a disease, it's just a "guess" something might be wrong. I did not find this section useful at all.
The author included personal stories and lots of examples to illustrate his points.
This book was an easy read and quick for me to get through. That helped boost its rating.
Compared to other Patrick King books I've read so far, it was decent but not as amazing as the first one I read, How To Listen, Hear & Validate. Still a worthwhile read though. I almost never buy books but I bought this one - and it was worth it.
I would recommend to people interested in improving their confidence, and learning more about confidence in general. You may learn something new from this book.
May 5, 2017
A good seed planter
I discovered this book simply out of nowhere, and it came at the perfect time. The biggest thing about Kings writing is, he is honest. He'll tell you no book is a magic pill towards confidence and I really like that. Another lesson I really liked was the rules on eye contact. I've adopted that and use it now daily. Its amazing when you know what to look for how many peopled give away that YOU direct the conversation. The 15 laws are certainly OK, I wished I could have them with me daily, but recurring application of the principles is the BEST WAY to take advantage of them. Pretty solid book I would read again.
I discovered this book simply out of nowhere, and it came at the perfect time. The biggest thing about Kings writing is, he is honest. He'll tell you no book is a magic pill towards confidence and I really like that. Another lesson I really liked was the rules on eye contact. I've adopted that and use it now daily. Its amazing when you know what to look for how many peopled give away that YOU direct the conversation. The 15 laws are certainly OK, I wished I could have them with me daily, but recurring application of the principles is the BEST WAY to take advantage of them. Pretty solid book I would read again.
October 2, 2017
Meant more for people who have major confidence issues, this book nonetheless still contains useful information. Probably won't change your life, but lots of good tidbits to make action out of. There is no bad advice in this book, which is appreciated, it also is a very basic primer that doesn't get too deep on things. Worth a quick read.
August 13, 2015
Very good advice
The author serves up very good advice to help you boost your confidence. Stop dwelling on the past, you are good enough now read this book!
The author serves up very good advice to help you boost your confidence. Stop dwelling on the past, you are good enough now read this book!
December 22, 2016
Must Read. Handy book to rejuvenate ourselves with inspirational thoughts.
September 11, 2017
For ones who are confident, good to be re-affirmed. For ones who are less confident, good to-do list
December 10, 2017
Great book with great steps to regain self confidence. Simple step-by-step methods to help identify the negative narrator in our heads.
April 1, 2018
Good book
Overall the book had good information. I was disappointed to find several grammatical errors within the book, but if you look past those errors, the information is beneficial.
Overall the book had good information. I was disappointed to find several grammatical errors within the book, but if you look past those errors, the information is beneficial.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews