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The Girl Who Couldn't Say No
“A sharp, occasionally shocking, memoir that will change how you look at young, single mothers, The Girl Who Couldn’t Say No is also an amusing look at dating as a single twenty-something with a teenager and a toddler.
Told with frank South African humour and refreshingly mature insight, Tracy Engelbrecht tells the story of how she came to find herself pregnant at 15 … and how she coped with pregnancy, birth and homework.”
Told with frank South African humour and refreshingly mature insight, Tracy Engelbrecht tells the story of how she came to find herself pregnant at 15 … and how she coped with pregnancy, birth and homework.”
216 pages, ebook
First published September 30, 2007
56 people are currently reading
753 people want to read
About the author
Tracy Engelbrecht
1 book38 followersTracy Engelbrecht is a writer and mother of two. She lives in Cape Town and doesn’t grow freakishly large prizewinning vegetables, but she does do a nice lasagne and her children aren’t in therapy yet, so things are going well. She hardly ever drinks pina coladas or gets caught in the rain, but she’s working on it.
That’s the official story. The truth is, of course, much less exciting.
I was once The Girl Who Couldn’t Say No, but these days I’m mom and eternal tea-maker to a teenage son, and mommy and copious cuddler of a tween daughter – both unique specimens of delicious humanity, way cooler than you’d expect with me as a mom.
I’m also blogger, a columnist and a Tweeter-in-training. What else? Ah, yes. Thinker, reader, pudding-fantasist, champion-napper and above all, a sensible girl.
I have a thing for history and science, am a genealogy freak and gravestone stalker. This may or may not mean dubious things about my psychological state. I’m going with “may not”. Wishful thinking? Indeed so.
Huge fan of curiosity and learning new stuff, my last words are most likely to be “Hey, what does this button do? ”
Hopelessly inelegant and perfectly inappropriate for every occasion, I wear my awkwardness like a badge of honour. I have to. It’s the only jewellery I own not made from macaroni.
I’ve given up on the pina colada thing (see above). It was never me anyway; I’m much more a creme soda float girl. Wif sprinkles.
That’s the official story. The truth is, of course, much less exciting.
I was once The Girl Who Couldn’t Say No, but these days I’m mom and eternal tea-maker to a teenage son, and mommy and copious cuddler of a tween daughter – both unique specimens of delicious humanity, way cooler than you’d expect with me as a mom.
I’m also blogger, a columnist and a Tweeter-in-training. What else? Ah, yes. Thinker, reader, pudding-fantasist, champion-napper and above all, a sensible girl.
I have a thing for history and science, am a genealogy freak and gravestone stalker. This may or may not mean dubious things about my psychological state. I’m going with “may not”. Wishful thinking? Indeed so.
Huge fan of curiosity and learning new stuff, my last words are most likely to be “Hey, what does this button do? ”
Hopelessly inelegant and perfectly inappropriate for every occasion, I wear my awkwardness like a badge of honour. I have to. It’s the only jewellery I own not made from macaroni.
I’ve given up on the pina colada thing (see above). It was never me anyway; I’m much more a creme soda float girl. Wif sprinkles.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 123 reviews
September 21, 2015
Don’t laugh, but “randomly” meeting Tracy Engelbrecht (online – because where else do we meet people these days?) was some sort of Universal show of synchronicity. The Universe likes to do this to me.
Let me explain:
About six or seven years ago (holy crap I’m getting old!) I started writing a book about a pregnant teenager. I was hardly past being a teenager myself at that stage, but I just couldn’t do it. I had never been pregnant. And I therefore had no idea what I was talking about. I needed to know what it felt like to stroke a pregnant belly. I needed to know what morning sickness felt like and how it feels to be kicked from the inside. Those stupid books at the library helped nothing – it didn’t take long to figure that out. So I shelved the book, promising myself that as soon as I found myself pregnant I would pick it up again.
Now of course that never happened. When I was pregnant all I wanted to do was knit and sew things (true story – my dad still laughs at me about that) but the other day I picked up the novel with a very intense need to revisit the idea of finishing it and doing it properly.
Enter Tracy.
I have no idea where this lass came from but somehow she ended up in my newsfeed. She obviously must have added me to her Facebook for some reason (I always allow people to add me – saying “no” to someone who is trying “add you as a friend” always seems like messing around with karma) and soon I saw that she had written this book called “The Girl Who Couldn’t Say No”. Now my book-in-the-making is nothing like hers at all, except for the pregnant teen bit, and I couldn’t help thinking “oh I must read that it will help!” And The Universe went get off your bloody arse and write you daffy cow. The Universe is so rude.
Anyway, I finally contacted Tracy and asked her to send me a signed copy – which she graciously did. I haven’t been so excited to read a book in ages! I don’t know why I just knew I was going to love it.
I’m not going to give you a detailed plot synopsis here. It’s about a teenager who falls pregnant – you need to know no more than that. What I loved about it though was the raw and vulnerable honesty with which the whole thing was written. Apart from being the kind of book any mother could relate to (I’m dead serious when I tell you that I laughed and cried through the whole thing!) there is just something about the voice of this quirky person that you just can’t help but fall in love with. The complete un-pretentiousness of it is just so precious! And perhaps that’s a mad thing to say, but throughout the whole book my head kept going “You see Nadine, you should just write like yourself, it works better that way!” For that, Tracy, I have to thank you.
I must admit also that quietly observing Tracy over the last little while has given me a bit of a complex. What an amazing woman! Apart from being a single mom of two (single mom of one is hard enough – I should know!) Tracy runs a young moms support group in Fish Hoek. Why? Because she’s awesome!
To Tracy: You’re an inspiration honey. Keep being you.
Why I give it a 5: It’s an important book that tackles a subject that is very rarely tackled without an air of condescension and self-righteousness.
Let me explain:
About six or seven years ago (holy crap I’m getting old!) I started writing a book about a pregnant teenager. I was hardly past being a teenager myself at that stage, but I just couldn’t do it. I had never been pregnant. And I therefore had no idea what I was talking about. I needed to know what it felt like to stroke a pregnant belly. I needed to know what morning sickness felt like and how it feels to be kicked from the inside. Those stupid books at the library helped nothing – it didn’t take long to figure that out. So I shelved the book, promising myself that as soon as I found myself pregnant I would pick it up again.
Now of course that never happened. When I was pregnant all I wanted to do was knit and sew things (true story – my dad still laughs at me about that) but the other day I picked up the novel with a very intense need to revisit the idea of finishing it and doing it properly.
Enter Tracy.
I have no idea where this lass came from but somehow she ended up in my newsfeed. She obviously must have added me to her Facebook for some reason (I always allow people to add me – saying “no” to someone who is trying “add you as a friend” always seems like messing around with karma) and soon I saw that she had written this book called “The Girl Who Couldn’t Say No”. Now my book-in-the-making is nothing like hers at all, except for the pregnant teen bit, and I couldn’t help thinking “oh I must read that it will help!” And The Universe went get off your bloody arse and write you daffy cow. The Universe is so rude.
Anyway, I finally contacted Tracy and asked her to send me a signed copy – which she graciously did. I haven’t been so excited to read a book in ages! I don’t know why I just knew I was going to love it.
I’m not going to give you a detailed plot synopsis here. It’s about a teenager who falls pregnant – you need to know no more than that. What I loved about it though was the raw and vulnerable honesty with which the whole thing was written. Apart from being the kind of book any mother could relate to (I’m dead serious when I tell you that I laughed and cried through the whole thing!) there is just something about the voice of this quirky person that you just can’t help but fall in love with. The complete un-pretentiousness of it is just so precious! And perhaps that’s a mad thing to say, but throughout the whole book my head kept going “You see Nadine, you should just write like yourself, it works better that way!” For that, Tracy, I have to thank you.
I must admit also that quietly observing Tracy over the last little while has given me a bit of a complex. What an amazing woman! Apart from being a single mom of two (single mom of one is hard enough – I should know!) Tracy runs a young moms support group in Fish Hoek. Why? Because she’s awesome!
To Tracy: You’re an inspiration honey. Keep being you.
Why I give it a 5: It’s an important book that tackles a subject that is very rarely tackled without an air of condescension and self-righteousness.
February 13, 2011
I did wonder what I was letting myself in for with this book. I very rarely read memoirs or autobiographies and was concerned that being childless, married and in my fifties would mean I would have difficulty identifying with Tracy or caring about her life. My concerns were groundless. By page two I was hooked. Tracy's description of Maria reminded of the girl in one of the Haribo adverts and that always makes me smile. I recognised the voices that live in Tracy's head, the sensible voice and the impulsive voice. Their cousins inhabit my head and, I suspect, just about every other woman's on the planet. Tracy's story made me smile and laugh. By the time I had finished the book I really cared about her and her family. In what has been a dross reading year so far this really stood out and I would highly recommend this to anybody.
November 2, 2011
Tracy finds out that she's pregnant at 14. But she's a Good Girl! These things don't happen to Good Girls! Yet she never makes excuses for having gotten pregnant at such a young age. She had sex, she got pregnant, end of story. Quite refreshing, really, in an age where folks seem to spend quite a bit of time blaming everyone and everything else for their own choices. At any rate, this memoir covers her pregnancy, from finding out she is indeed pregnant to telling her parents, up to the birth and into the childhood of her son. Tracy is a funny, witty writer who is spot on regarding a lot of things, and I found myself highlighting quite a few of her statements. Her complaints about her size began to wear thin after a while, however, and her assertion that mothers never have any time to themselves once they have children grated on me a bit. I have two kids and manage to score quite a bit of "me" time each day, so it is possible -- even when my husband is out to sea for months at a time. But in general, this is an amusing, honest, and heartfelt look at becoming a mother at such a young age, and one that most parents can relate to.
June 29, 2008
I loved the honesty and the unexpected story of a 14/15 year old girl, who turned out to be wise enough to make what could have been a disaster into something magical and transformative.
The tone is both defensive and open, full of quirky humour. The book made me appreciate what I have got and a little kick in the psychic butt to make the best of things.
I look forward to Tracy's next book!
The tone is both defensive and open, full of quirky humour. The book made me appreciate what I have got and a little kick in the psychic butt to make the best of things.
I look forward to Tracy's next book!
January 18, 2019
Engelbrecht was fourteen when she got pregnant, fifteen when she gave birth. Until then she'd been a typical 'good girl', but pregnancy positioned her, in the eyes of many, as a 'girl who couldn't say no'. But she opted to continue with her pregnancy, ignore those who doubted her, and raise her child (and, several years later, another child from another doomed relationship).
On a (pre-pregnancy) discussion of teenage pregnancy with her friends: The consensus was that our boyfriends would dump us, our parents would kill us and our lives would be over, the last two being entirely separate issues, in case you were wondering. You can always count on middle-school girls for drama and great lashings of hot air. (loc. 543)
It's a fairly informal, chatty book. Helpfully, Engelbrecht was writing from her late twenties rather than her mid-teens, which means she's had quite a lot of time for distance and perspective and so on. It's not brilliant, but it's straightforward and relatable and avoids extraneous drama. Altogether a reasonably interesting read.
On a (pre-pregnancy) discussion of teenage pregnancy with her friends: The consensus was that our boyfriends would dump us, our parents would kill us and our lives would be over, the last two being entirely separate issues, in case you were wondering. You can always count on middle-school girls for drama and great lashings of hot air. (loc. 543)
It's a fairly informal, chatty book. Helpfully, Engelbrecht was writing from her late twenties rather than her mid-teens, which means she's had quite a lot of time for distance and perspective and so on. It's not brilliant, but it's straightforward and relatable and avoids extraneous drama. Altogether a reasonably interesting read.
December 8, 2012
Some life events are pretty much universal... falling in love, getting married... and becoming a teenage mom. It happens all the time, except what sets apart each event is when you have a writer voice something like Tracy's.
And still, as distinctive as Tracy's voice was, it took getting past the pregnancy test before her voice grew on me. I related very well to many, if not all of her experiences... the moods, grown-ups who encounter young girls in this 'situation', and other 'condiments' that generally come with the territory in such a 'situation.' The reaction of her younger sister when the announcement was first made, I likewise found really moving. Her parents, especially her mother, not only handled 'the situation' well, but it had to be the largest blessing for Tracy and little Steven to have parents like this. Come to think on it, I should include some of the extended family as well. My only distraction was a (seemingly) misplaced anger that I tried to attribute to the pregnancy, knowing how often this life event (wildly) scrambles the hormones, and that's for women of any age…before, during, and after childbirth. It also could have been immaturity, or being a little spoiled maybe, except I was never quite sure.
That said, I really enjoyed the witty sarcasm. It's what made this story none-the-less very engaging. From Ms. H, to the Catholic nun (in the hospital), to Auntie Cruella, to that receptionist job, and many, many other spots, I really enjoyed how Tracy handled herself, this story, and the best part... her embracing motherhood the way she did. Great job.
And still, as distinctive as Tracy's voice was, it took getting past the pregnancy test before her voice grew on me. I related very well to many, if not all of her experiences... the moods, grown-ups who encounter young girls in this 'situation', and other 'condiments' that generally come with the territory in such a 'situation.' The reaction of her younger sister when the announcement was first made, I likewise found really moving. Her parents, especially her mother, not only handled 'the situation' well, but it had to be the largest blessing for Tracy and little Steven to have parents like this. Come to think on it, I should include some of the extended family as well. My only distraction was a (seemingly) misplaced anger that I tried to attribute to the pregnancy, knowing how often this life event (wildly) scrambles the hormones, and that's for women of any age…before, during, and after childbirth. It also could have been immaturity, or being a little spoiled maybe, except I was never quite sure.
That said, I really enjoyed the witty sarcasm. It's what made this story none-the-less very engaging. From Ms. H, to the Catholic nun (in the hospital), to Auntie Cruella, to that receptionist job, and many, many other spots, I really enjoyed how Tracy handled herself, this story, and the best part... her embracing motherhood the way she did. Great job.
December 14, 2011
As Comic-Book Guy from 'The Simpsons' might say, Worst. Book. Ever. Okay, maybe not EVER but it's pretty awful. And I'm never getting that time back. I'm not a single mother - but I did have an unplanned child at an inopportune time.
The woman may have been 27/28 when the book was published, but it sounds like it comes straight from the diaries of well, a fifteen year old. Good concept, important subject matter, TERRIBLY executed.
Through the blood, tears, sweat, and what sounds like the massive support of her family she was able to continue her education and have decent job prospects, but other than a quick blurb at the end, about young girls - postpartum, who still don't understand what it means to have a baby - it fails to be useful even as a cautionary tale.
I wish I'd known to begin with she was South African because the language (during the read) left me feeling like it was an American attempting to use British slang to set herself apart. That's my bad, I admit it.
I don't want to be personal, but it IS a memoir. I hopehopehope this woman is doing a little therapy and maybe seeing a psychiatrist - being of 'those that require a little extra mental health help' - I'm just calling it like it appears in the book.
Ugh. Don't read it. Don't even think about it. I can't believe this tripe has over three stars on Goodreads.
The woman may have been 27/28 when the book was published, but it sounds like it comes straight from the diaries of well, a fifteen year old. Good concept, important subject matter, TERRIBLY executed.
Through the blood, tears, sweat, and what sounds like the massive support of her family she was able to continue her education and have decent job prospects, but other than a quick blurb at the end, about young girls - postpartum, who still don't understand what it means to have a baby - it fails to be useful even as a cautionary tale.
I wish I'd known to begin with she was South African because the language (during the read) left me feeling like it was an American attempting to use British slang to set herself apart. That's my bad, I admit it.
I don't want to be personal, but it IS a memoir. I hopehopehope this woman is doing a little therapy and maybe seeing a psychiatrist - being of 'those that require a little extra mental health help' - I'm just calling it like it appears in the book.
Ugh. Don't read it. Don't even think about it. I can't believe this tripe has over three stars on Goodreads.
April 25, 2011
This book was received as part of First Reads, will post a review when read... watch this space.
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I really enjoyed this book, it's a frank but readable account of a mother learning to be a mother. It doesn't matter particularly that Tracy is a teenage mum as the "bowing to those with some semblance of authority" was exactly the way I felt when first becoming a mum (at twice Tracy's age!) Mums (and maybe Dads if they're inclined to read a "girlie book") will identify with almost everything, we all strive for the best for our children whilst secretly worrying it's all going wrong or take advice from relatives, those in the medical profession or even strangers who seem so sure of their wisdom until we learn to trust ourselves and realise that we know our children better than anyone!
Thank you Tracey, I'm glad you got your story down on paper - it really touched home with me... although it's also forewarned me of the momentous decisions I have ahead :)
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I really enjoyed this book, it's a frank but readable account of a mother learning to be a mother. It doesn't matter particularly that Tracy is a teenage mum as the "bowing to those with some semblance of authority" was exactly the way I felt when first becoming a mum (at twice Tracy's age!) Mums (and maybe Dads if they're inclined to read a "girlie book") will identify with almost everything, we all strive for the best for our children whilst secretly worrying it's all going wrong or take advice from relatives, those in the medical profession or even strangers who seem so sure of their wisdom until we learn to trust ourselves and realise that we know our children better than anyone!
Thank you Tracey, I'm glad you got your story down on paper - it really touched home with me... although it's also forewarned me of the momentous decisions I have ahead :)
August 26, 2016
I enjoyed this Kindle book about the life of a girl who got pregnant at 14, but I would have liked it to go a little deeper into how she really felt and how people responded to her. The early part, about her life as a "normal" teenager and the shock of discovering she was pregnant, was really interesting but then she kind of went from the early baby days to toddlerdom in about three pages. The section sbout finding a nursery was an eye opener but then there was a lot of boring stuff about work and the men she met which I really wasn't fussed about at all. I would much rather have read about what life was like bringing up her baby, how other mums responded to her and so on.
An enjoyable read overall though.
An enjoyable read overall though.
May 16, 2011
This is a great book for any teen mom or just any new mother. It shows the struggles and emotions as you raise your child. No matter what age you'll always struggle and worry about that bundle of joy. I read how hard it was for Tracy at 15 to be a mother. But she knew that every mother no matter who you are goes through the same things as she did. I read how much she cared for her child and how she tried her best to raise Steven even though she was only 15. For a 15 year old I can say Tracy did a pretty good job through all the worries and struggles. I know this because I saw my sister go through the same thing as she did.
February 1, 2011
I got this book from Goodreads giveaways.
I liked this book. Ms. Engelbrecht has a unique voice that carries you throughout her life. She is honest and funny. For the readers from the United States, you may not get some of her references. I found myself curious on a number of occasions as to who she was talking about or what that reference meant. But this is a book based in South Africa and it remains true to its origins.
I liked this book. Ms. Engelbrecht has a unique voice that carries you throughout her life. She is honest and funny. For the readers from the United States, you may not get some of her references. I found myself curious on a number of occasions as to who she was talking about or what that reference meant. But this is a book based in South Africa and it remains true to its origins.
October 20, 2011
The first half was a really interesting look into teen pregnancy - honest, funny, and insightful (though there is a lot of language). Unfortunately, the second half devolved into a spiteful critique of, it seemed, EVERYONE, and was so much poorer than the initial chapters. Would not recommend.
August 26, 2012
A quick, fun read. I loved Tracy's 'voice' and it kept me well entertained through the entire book.
February 3, 2019
The other girl who couldn't say no!
I related to this book in so many ways! In 1996, I too became a mother at the age of 15! In 2005, I too also had my second child at the age of 23! Neither time did I marry the baby's father. My life is like a mirror image to Tracy Engelbrecht! I felt every emotion with Tracy, as I read this book! Most girls that become pregnant at that age have no idea what to do and they're not supposed to I guess. But like Tracy, becoming a mom at 15 changed my life for the better!
I related to this book in so many ways! In 1996, I too became a mother at the age of 15! In 2005, I too also had my second child at the age of 23! Neither time did I marry the baby's father. My life is like a mirror image to Tracy Engelbrecht! I felt every emotion with Tracy, as I read this book! Most girls that become pregnant at that age have no idea what to do and they're not supposed to I guess. But like Tracy, becoming a mom at 15 changed my life for the better!
April 11, 2021
Some funny moments but overall not all that interesting. This is the story of a 14 yo that gets pregnant and her life up until she turns 27. She tries to make it sound like her life was hard and "woeful" but really she's pretty supported and didn't have any of the struggles that a lot of teen moms have to deal with. She actually made her life seem pretty glossy and cush. Story for some but not for me.
January 24, 2024
Good quick read about life
Shorter, which made for a quick read. A great memoir about the struggles of being a teen, a mother (a teen mother!), how quick time goes with kids, and co-parenting. Humorous and relatable the whole way through! Didn't go into a lot of details but told all the complications and feelings attached to things.
Shorter, which made for a quick read. A great memoir about the struggles of being a teen, a mother (a teen mother!), how quick time goes with kids, and co-parenting. Humorous and relatable the whole way through! Didn't go into a lot of details but told all the complications and feelings attached to things.
June 19, 2017
This is not the detailed account of your average teenage mom. Well written with self-deprecating humor, this was really a lovely story of how sometimes getting the cart before the horse is precisely what is needed.
December 28, 2017
Loved her honest and hilarious approach to telling her story!
June 1, 2020
Brilliant story and totally gets the struggles of being a mum
True to life whether you are a young mum or not so young mum. Recommend this to anyone who is a mum
True to life whether you are a young mum or not so young mum. Recommend this to anyone who is a mum
December 26, 2022
was actually enjoying it because i actually strangely related to her but the the last 3 chapters were just meh
July 22, 2025
not bad.
This is a good start for this genre. I have no complaints:) I did enjoy it so a good starter for the genre.
This is a good start for this genre. I have no complaints:) I did enjoy it so a good starter for the genre.
February 15, 2014
I expected this to be a semi-preachy book with some humour. A ‘beware this bad life choice’ sort of autobiography. It was a spur of the moment reading choice. It turned out to be a relaxing read, written in a friendly conversational tone with just enough humour to make you smile and take the edge of what could have been a very dry story.
I think the title is slightly misleading. I imagined a people pleaser or submissive personality, and while Tracy admits she finds it difficult to stand up for herself, the point of this story doesn’t come about due to peer pressure or people pleasing. I think the subtitle works a lot better and I always think of this book as “The Memoir of a Teenage Mom”.
Some negative reviews comment on the voice or ramblings, but I don’t agree with any of that being a bad thing. The voice is conversational and it is because of this fact that I kept reading. It was a friendly, welcoming book, with a conversational tone. It made it pleasant to read – the same feeling you get from talking to a friend. I rarely read autobiographies because the voice generally fails to appeal to me and I just don’t tend to care that much (at least for the popular ones, such as celebrity biographies you see every Christmas). I didn’t find any of the book to be wondering so far off track that I felt lost or disinterested. Everything felt related and was pretty interesting to read.
It was definitely interesting to read from the perspective of someone who felt that an unplanned teenage pregnancy was the ‘it’ they needed in their life to make it really worthwhile. While I don’t agree with any young girl who tries to get pregnant for whatever reason (keeping a boyfriend, need for unconditional love, a desire to show how mature they are and so on), I think for Tracy it was a positive life event, or at least one she made positive.
The chapter titles are amusing and there are parts in the book that I can relate to so much (just as progression from teen to adult, I’m not a mother). There are also bits which are gems of experience. Such as:
“Again, I was surprised to find that this forbidding man was just a person like me, muddling through life and doing his best. More and more, I was learning that adults were not the all-knowing, all-powerful supreme beings I’d thought they were.”
Because as children, at least, we all think that adults have some magical quality which we lack as young people. When we realise all they have is more experience and different thought processes it’s a shock. Tracy also highlights how, while she is pregnant and thus ceases to belong to her friends’ world, her boyfriend can carry on with life as normal, get a new girlfriend, go out partying and shirk the responsibilities of fatherhood.
There are a handful of typos in this book, but overall I think it’s a really pleasant short autobiography.
I think the title is slightly misleading. I imagined a people pleaser or submissive personality, and while Tracy admits she finds it difficult to stand up for herself, the point of this story doesn’t come about due to peer pressure or people pleasing. I think the subtitle works a lot better and I always think of this book as “The Memoir of a Teenage Mom”.
Some negative reviews comment on the voice or ramblings, but I don’t agree with any of that being a bad thing. The voice is conversational and it is because of this fact that I kept reading. It was a friendly, welcoming book, with a conversational tone. It made it pleasant to read – the same feeling you get from talking to a friend. I rarely read autobiographies because the voice generally fails to appeal to me and I just don’t tend to care that much (at least for the popular ones, such as celebrity biographies you see every Christmas). I didn’t find any of the book to be wondering so far off track that I felt lost or disinterested. Everything felt related and was pretty interesting to read.
It was definitely interesting to read from the perspective of someone who felt that an unplanned teenage pregnancy was the ‘it’ they needed in their life to make it really worthwhile. While I don’t agree with any young girl who tries to get pregnant for whatever reason (keeping a boyfriend, need for unconditional love, a desire to show how mature they are and so on), I think for Tracy it was a positive life event, or at least one she made positive.
The chapter titles are amusing and there are parts in the book that I can relate to so much (just as progression from teen to adult, I’m not a mother). There are also bits which are gems of experience. Such as:
“Again, I was surprised to find that this forbidding man was just a person like me, muddling through life and doing his best. More and more, I was learning that adults were not the all-knowing, all-powerful supreme beings I’d thought they were.”
Because as children, at least, we all think that adults have some magical quality which we lack as young people. When we realise all they have is more experience and different thought processes it’s a shock. Tracy also highlights how, while she is pregnant and thus ceases to belong to her friends’ world, her boyfriend can carry on with life as normal, get a new girlfriend, go out partying and shirk the responsibilities of fatherhood.
There are a handful of typos in this book, but overall I think it’s a really pleasant short autobiography.
March 28, 2013
I liked it, but it was just okay.
The tone of the book was very "bloggy" for lack of a better word. It was chock full of side-stories and rambling and while it wasn't bad, it was sometimes hard to pick up the thread again after being off on a tangent for a few pages. Mostly this had to do with the author re-assuring the reader repeatedly that she is/was a GOOD GIRL, meaning that she wasn't promiscuous (and didn't want to be) when she found herself pregnant at 14. Which is all well and good, mistakes happen, let's move along in this story... but the thing is that THAT is the story. The only story. The title is intentionally misleading (I guess hoping that you actually want to read about a promiscuous teen who "deserved" to get pregnant?) and actually applies to her people-pleasing personality which was NOT the reason that she ended up pregnant at such a young age. That was just typical teenage hormones and desires (again, the author goes to GREAT LENGTHS to differentiate this). So... okay... then what's the story about?
Truthfully, not much. I mean, yes, she was a teenage mother which impacted her high school education for a time. But overall her life wasn't really changed. Her family was incredibly supportive and helped her raise her son and go to school, etc. They even let her move back home when she found herself pregnant again in her twenties with no support from the child's father. There were no moments of dire poverty or homelessness or drug use... so, other than her age when she had her first child, it was just a typical single-mom story. Which, I am glad for, if I'm being truthful. I'm happy for her that things worked out okay in the end and everyone was supportive and nice and her kids are okay. But I had to ask myself why this story was being told... who is this book for? It's not an encouragement to teen girls who want to be mothers, it's not a warning about the dangers of teen motherhood, it's not about the challenges of bringing up kids by yourself. It's sort of a no-man's land as far as who the intended audience is supposed to be. Which then makes it seem like maybe she's just trying to cash in on the teen mom trend that is invading pop culture at the moment, by flashing her hipster cred by being one of the "original" teen moms. Except this book was free on Amazon, so if she's trying to cash in, she's not getting very far.
TL;DR takeaway: quick, candid, bloggy style of writing is fun but there is no real story in the end.
The tone of the book was very "bloggy" for lack of a better word. It was chock full of side-stories and rambling and while it wasn't bad, it was sometimes hard to pick up the thread again after being off on a tangent for a few pages. Mostly this had to do with the author re-assuring the reader repeatedly that she is/was a GOOD GIRL, meaning that she wasn't promiscuous (and didn't want to be) when she found herself pregnant at 14. Which is all well and good, mistakes happen, let's move along in this story... but the thing is that THAT is the story. The only story. The title is intentionally misleading (I guess hoping that you actually want to read about a promiscuous teen who "deserved" to get pregnant?) and actually applies to her people-pleasing personality which was NOT the reason that she ended up pregnant at such a young age. That was just typical teenage hormones and desires (again, the author goes to GREAT LENGTHS to differentiate this). So... okay... then what's the story about?
Truthfully, not much. I mean, yes, she was a teenage mother which impacted her high school education for a time. But overall her life wasn't really changed. Her family was incredibly supportive and helped her raise her son and go to school, etc. They even let her move back home when she found herself pregnant again in her twenties with no support from the child's father. There were no moments of dire poverty or homelessness or drug use... so, other than her age when she had her first child, it was just a typical single-mom story. Which, I am glad for, if I'm being truthful. I'm happy for her that things worked out okay in the end and everyone was supportive and nice and her kids are okay. But I had to ask myself why this story was being told... who is this book for? It's not an encouragement to teen girls who want to be mothers, it's not a warning about the dangers of teen motherhood, it's not about the challenges of bringing up kids by yourself. It's sort of a no-man's land as far as who the intended audience is supposed to be. Which then makes it seem like maybe she's just trying to cash in on the teen mom trend that is invading pop culture at the moment, by flashing her hipster cred by being one of the "original" teen moms. Except this book was free on Amazon, so if she's trying to cash in, she's not getting very far.
TL;DR takeaway: quick, candid, bloggy style of writing is fun but there is no real story in the end.
January 7, 2014
Now this shouldn't be a book I'd be very interested in only having dog(s) and no kids and preferring life that way but I really enjoyed it. I downloaded it over a year ago now and kept putting it off as I was at a bit of a loss as to why I did, to be honest ! Now I want to read a sequel but perhaps in a decade. That would be good.
Her parents, especially her mum were terrific and it was splendid the support they've always given her after their initial blowup ! And who would blame them, especially when "she gets knocked up again, if you can believe it" ? I loved the moments described of her mum with her new grandson. They even made ME sniffy. I guess having her family around and really knowing deep down that being a mum that young isn't really the norm nor the right thing to do is what separates her from those mums she encountered in the hospital and what will stop her daughter doing the same. However, Tracy was proud of her kids and does parent them as opposed to wanting to be their pal and I liked that coupled with the fact she spends time with them and is HAPPY to do so !!
There were some very funny lines in it as well. I particularly loved "It seemed like a good idea at the time. Of course, so did the second George Bush and we all know how that turned out". Hahaha....
She lives in South Africa and clearly things are a bit different there as she mentioned abortion being illegal still in the 1990s and her elder boyfriend at the time was not prosecuted, either.
It wasn't without mistakes although I didn't spot one till page 85 !! That was the odd-sounding sentence-"...my friend would rather have me chewing mouths full of poisonous plants". Then confectionery in one line was spelt properly and then not as confectionary. She does tend to love her bracketing a lot as well. However, they're only small gripes. Her writing was great and it was nice not to happen across a spelling mistake or grammatical error every few pages.
See you in ten years for the second instalment !! I look forward to that. Maybe we'll meet Tracy the Wife then. Tracy the Author's done good !!
Her parents, especially her mum were terrific and it was splendid the support they've always given her after their initial blowup ! And who would blame them, especially when "she gets knocked up again, if you can believe it" ? I loved the moments described of her mum with her new grandson. They even made ME sniffy. I guess having her family around and really knowing deep down that being a mum that young isn't really the norm nor the right thing to do is what separates her from those mums she encountered in the hospital and what will stop her daughter doing the same. However, Tracy was proud of her kids and does parent them as opposed to wanting to be their pal and I liked that coupled with the fact she spends time with them and is HAPPY to do so !!
There were some very funny lines in it as well. I particularly loved "It seemed like a good idea at the time. Of course, so did the second George Bush and we all know how that turned out". Hahaha....
She lives in South Africa and clearly things are a bit different there as she mentioned abortion being illegal still in the 1990s and her elder boyfriend at the time was not prosecuted, either.
It wasn't without mistakes although I didn't spot one till page 85 !! That was the odd-sounding sentence-"...my friend would rather have me chewing mouths full of poisonous plants". Then confectionery in one line was spelt properly and then not as confectionary. She does tend to love her bracketing a lot as well. However, they're only small gripes. Her writing was great and it was nice not to happen across a spelling mistake or grammatical error every few pages.
See you in ten years for the second instalment !! I look forward to that. Maybe we'll meet Tracy the Wife then. Tracy the Author's done good !!
January 8, 2012
Got this book for free on my Kindle, the plot intrigued me so I thought why not? The book is fairly short so it makes for easy reading, in addition to this it’s sort of in diary form. Well, flashbacks really which also helps to read it in one sitting.
The book follows the author from finding out she was pregnant at 14 to where she is now. Now, I thought the story would go from her meeting David and their relationship then her getting pregnant and so on. Like in a consecutive sequence kinda thing, like most books. Or like To Kill A Mockingbird where you finish where you started. So I was a bit surprised when it didn’t and sometimes switched back and forth in the chapter - however it wasn’t confusing.
You see the character grow and develop however at some points you’re not entirely sure how old she is (but this is later on in the book). It’s not a scandal of how she got pregnant and she says that from the very beginning, it’s nothing sordid it’s simply something that has just happened. There aren’t many twists or turns in the books, it’s not like that, she’s just telling us her life but in a novel form rather than a biography so it’s easy to forget that.
I must admit I was expecting something a little more but that’s because I was still under the impression that it was a novel of a character. It’s her life and that is what happened, it’s interesting to read to hear about what really does happen. That if you get pregnant you wasn’t always going to get kicked out or forced to give it up, this showed it in a different way. The way that’s more likely to happen. It was refreshing.
The book was written mainly for teenagers even though it says otherwise, some parents may pick it up if they ever find themselves in this situation however it’s doubtful. The book provided many laughs and a character you can warm to easily, I was rooting for her the whole time and had a huge grin on my face when the baby started to kick (particular highlight of the book for me).
The book follows the author from finding out she was pregnant at 14 to where she is now. Now, I thought the story would go from her meeting David and their relationship then her getting pregnant and so on. Like in a consecutive sequence kinda thing, like most books. Or like To Kill A Mockingbird where you finish where you started. So I was a bit surprised when it didn’t and sometimes switched back and forth in the chapter - however it wasn’t confusing.
You see the character grow and develop however at some points you’re not entirely sure how old she is (but this is later on in the book). It’s not a scandal of how she got pregnant and she says that from the very beginning, it’s nothing sordid it’s simply something that has just happened. There aren’t many twists or turns in the books, it’s not like that, she’s just telling us her life but in a novel form rather than a biography so it’s easy to forget that.
I must admit I was expecting something a little more but that’s because I was still under the impression that it was a novel of a character. It’s her life and that is what happened, it’s interesting to read to hear about what really does happen. That if you get pregnant you wasn’t always going to get kicked out or forced to give it up, this showed it in a different way. The way that’s more likely to happen. It was refreshing.
The book was written mainly for teenagers even though it says otherwise, some parents may pick it up if they ever find themselves in this situation however it’s doubtful. The book provided many laughs and a character you can warm to easily, I was rooting for her the whole time and had a huge grin on my face when the baby started to kick (particular highlight of the book for me).
November 18, 2011
I wasn't sure what I was getting into with this book. Being a childless woman in her mid-twenties, I wasn't sure how I would relate to a book about Tracy, who found out she was going to be a mom when she was fourteen. I figured it would just be another whiny tale about men's trickery and the woes of being a teenage mom. I was dead wrong.
After finding out that she's pregnant, Tracy just accepts the fact and moves on from there. With very little whining (aside from that caused by hormones), Tracy takes on her new role as mother with humor and guts. Basically, this is a story of a mother learning to be a mother. It doesn't matter that she is only fourteen at the time, it is something many women can relate to, whether they have children or not.
There is a lot of profanity in this book, but the story would really lose an integral part without it. Tracy also has some very strong opinions about...well, everything, and this may offend the easily offended. I loved all of it though as it really made a woman I have never met seem like a best friend.
Tracy's take on life, sex, motherhood, and everything in between is delightfully sarcastic, witty, and hilariously funny. Despite going into the book no knowing how I would relate, I discovered that I have a ridiculous amount in common with Tracy. After just one page, I was hooked and this turned out to be one of the best memoirs I've read in a long time. In a world inundated with self-absorbed memoirs by celebrities, this was a refreshing read.
After finding out that she's pregnant, Tracy just accepts the fact and moves on from there. With very little whining (aside from that caused by hormones), Tracy takes on her new role as mother with humor and guts. Basically, this is a story of a mother learning to be a mother. It doesn't matter that she is only fourteen at the time, it is something many women can relate to, whether they have children or not.
There is a lot of profanity in this book, but the story would really lose an integral part without it. Tracy also has some very strong opinions about...well, everything, and this may offend the easily offended. I loved all of it though as it really made a woman I have never met seem like a best friend.
Tracy's take on life, sex, motherhood, and everything in between is delightfully sarcastic, witty, and hilariously funny. Despite going into the book no knowing how I would relate, I discovered that I have a ridiculous amount in common with Tracy. After just one page, I was hooked and this turned out to be one of the best memoirs I've read in a long time. In a world inundated with self-absorbed memoirs by celebrities, this was a refreshing read.
October 30, 2011
Tracy got pregnant at 15. As with all teenage mothers, she struggled through all the hardships motherhood brings with it. This is her story of how she got through it and more.
Engelbrecht's humor and wit drew me into the book. I loved her wit and her sense of humor. There was, also, quite a bit of profanity in the book but it all belonged there. That was Tracy's personality and it gave you a real sense of her. As a mother, I found her insight on motherhood hilarious. I laughed out loud on several occasions, especially when describing toddlers, since that is the stage my children are in right now.
The first 2/3 of the book, I was really into. I loved reading her thoughts on what was going on in her life. It was all interesting. The last 1/3 dragged for me, though. I had a hard time getting through it. I don't know if I can pinpoint why, maybe it was the way she rambled off subject for pages at a time, though that happened through the whole book. Maybe it was the subject matter or the slight repetitiveness. I'm not sure. Either way, I didn't like the last part of the book. Plus my American brain shuddered every time I read the word "learnt". But her humor was still there.
It was a quick and funny read.
http://theultimatebooknook.blogspot.c...
Engelbrecht's humor and wit drew me into the book. I loved her wit and her sense of humor. There was, also, quite a bit of profanity in the book but it all belonged there. That was Tracy's personality and it gave you a real sense of her. As a mother, I found her insight on motherhood hilarious. I laughed out loud on several occasions, especially when describing toddlers, since that is the stage my children are in right now.
The first 2/3 of the book, I was really into. I loved reading her thoughts on what was going on in her life. It was all interesting. The last 1/3 dragged for me, though. I had a hard time getting through it. I don't know if I can pinpoint why, maybe it was the way she rambled off subject for pages at a time, though that happened through the whole book. Maybe it was the subject matter or the slight repetitiveness. I'm not sure. Either way, I didn't like the last part of the book. Plus my American brain shuddered every time I read the word "learnt". But her humor was still there.
It was a quick and funny read.
http://theultimatebooknook.blogspot.c...
March 13, 2012
This book was free on Kindle when I downloaded it in mid-December – although looking today it is now £2.60.
This is South African Tracy’s own story of how she came to be a teenage mum after falling pregnant at the tender age of 15. She was a Good Girl though, so how could this happen?
With Tracy now 28, this is written just how you could imagine a friend telling you about their past. It’s extremely easy to read, witty, often self-deprecating and tells the story of a smart, likeable girl who made what could easily be seen as one huge mistake, but you never feel that with Tracy. She obviously loves her kids very, very much and not at any stage does she appear to believe that her life would have been better if she hadn’t fallen pregnant at that time of her life.
Very much supported by her family, she comes across as very mature and strong-willed, which she obviously needed to be whilst dealing with some of the people who obviously treated her with disgust and/or contempt.
It was a very easy read, and a completely different viewpoint to all the ‘unwanted teenage pregnancy’ stories that you usually hear about.
Even better, Tracy is donating all the proceeds from the sale of the book towards funding Young Mom Support, a support group for young & teen mums in Cape Town, South Africa.
This is South African Tracy’s own story of how she came to be a teenage mum after falling pregnant at the tender age of 15. She was a Good Girl though, so how could this happen?
With Tracy now 28, this is written just how you could imagine a friend telling you about their past. It’s extremely easy to read, witty, often self-deprecating and tells the story of a smart, likeable girl who made what could easily be seen as one huge mistake, but you never feel that with Tracy. She obviously loves her kids very, very much and not at any stage does she appear to believe that her life would have been better if she hadn’t fallen pregnant at that time of her life.
Very much supported by her family, she comes across as very mature and strong-willed, which she obviously needed to be whilst dealing with some of the people who obviously treated her with disgust and/or contempt.
It was a very easy read, and a completely different viewpoint to all the ‘unwanted teenage pregnancy’ stories that you usually hear about.
Even better, Tracy is donating all the proceeds from the sale of the book towards funding Young Mom Support, a support group for young & teen mums in Cape Town, South Africa.
October 9, 2014
The Girl Who Couldn't Say No is not presented as a cautionary tale on the horrors of teenage motherhood, nor is it an attempt to make teenage motherhood seem a glamourous and appealing option. With a refreshing mix of honesty and humour the author does not attempt to make excuses, rather she gives an authentic account of the ups and downs that come with juggling pregnancy and motherhood with studying and working.
The book starts with fourteen year old Tracy finding out she is pregnant. Much of the early book focuses on the pregnancy itself, preparation for baby, dealing with parents, boyfriend, friends and the education system, leading up to the enviably straight forward delivery of Steven. The story then goes on to explore the early days of motherhood in a light-hearted way but without any of the sugar-coating that some authors employ. The rest of the book discusses the difficulties of finding suitable work to support oneself and one's child as a young, single mother. At times it seems as though Tracy doesn't like anyone she writes about - not her bosses, not the pre-school teachers, not the fathers of her children - but her dedication to her son (and her daughter, when she comes along later) and giving her family the best she can is certainly worth aspiring to.
The book starts with fourteen year old Tracy finding out she is pregnant. Much of the early book focuses on the pregnancy itself, preparation for baby, dealing with parents, boyfriend, friends and the education system, leading up to the enviably straight forward delivery of Steven. The story then goes on to explore the early days of motherhood in a light-hearted way but without any of the sugar-coating that some authors employ. The rest of the book discusses the difficulties of finding suitable work to support oneself and one's child as a young, single mother. At times it seems as though Tracy doesn't like anyone she writes about - not her bosses, not the pre-school teachers, not the fathers of her children - but her dedication to her son (and her daughter, when she comes along later) and giving her family the best she can is certainly worth aspiring to.
January 31, 2012
Even though teen pregnancy is not a light subject, this was a fun, light read. I loved reading about Tracy's adventure into motherhood and pregnancy starting at 14-years-old. As someone who experienced teenage pregnancy and motherhood, I have to say, it's about time! Yes, I understand that it is not the ideal situation and I would never encourage anyone to try it out, but it doesn't have to be a death of your hopes and dream, it can be beautiful. Tracy was very candid with her life and I have to give her lots of credit for having the bravery to do it and admire her for being able to joke about her adventure. I loved this book because I have never heard anyone say anything positive about young motherhood. We are usually bombarded with images of hopeless girls living in utter poverty. Don't get me wrong, I was poor, unbelievably poor, but that never defined me as a mother and it did not define Tracy either. She made the comment that her son did not ruin her life, he saved it and I can completely relate (and 19 years later, we're both still alive ha,ha,ha!). I loved hearing how Tracy enjoyed her pregnancy and how she adored her son...loved it!
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