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The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed
Get the baby gates, lock the cupboards, and load up Elmo's Song, toddlers are on the loose. The Toddler Survival Guide is here to get you to the other side. Toddlers and zombies both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler's case), and--upon entering your life--leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived.The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brooks's The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler ("Elmo's Song," mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler--or you--bursting into tears.Chapters Preparing the Home for a Toddler Invasion, Communicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation.
192 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 1, 2017
8 people are currently reading
332 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
December 20, 2017
I'm not yet a parent/mother so I still cannot relate on how to take care of a child or a toddler. But based from my cousins and friends stories, taking care of a kid is really a HUGE responsibility and takes a lot of time. Imagine running around just to make sure that the child will not get hurt and to be attentive always on the kid's whereabouts and actions. I'm not an athletic neither an active person so dealing with kids, as of the moment, is really not in my agenda.
Reading this book is not only entertaining because of how funny the authors wrote the given situations & advice; but also it really is a BIG help for parents or older siblings with toddlers at home. I would definitely recommend this to my friends who currently both have toddlers.
Reading this book is not only entertaining because of how funny the authors wrote the given situations & advice; but also it really is a BIG help for parents or older siblings with toddlers at home. I would definitely recommend this to my friends who currently both have toddlers.
August 16, 2017
Full disclosure: I am living in a house that has been forcefully occupied by toddlers for the past two years, with no withdrawal or peace treaty in sight, as my youngest is about to get his fully fledged toddler credentials. The Toddler Survival Guide knows what I'm talking about. There are constant stand-offs, and breaches of ceasefire agreements happen multiple times a day.
I enjoyed reading this humourous look at life with a toddler. It is interspersed with mock-historical accounts of toddler behaviour in history - as far back as the neanderthal toddler scrawling on the cave walls. There is also some sage advice given. Take heed. Toddlers are little ninjas.
A perfect gift to any parent on their sweet baby's first birthday, as they are bound to need this shortly afterwards.
Thank you to the authors, publisher, and netgalley for a review copy. This is an honest review.
I enjoyed reading this humourous look at life with a toddler. It is interspersed with mock-historical accounts of toddler behaviour in history - as far back as the neanderthal toddler scrawling on the cave walls. There is also some sage advice given. Take heed. Toddlers are little ninjas.
A perfect gift to any parent on their sweet baby's first birthday, as they are bound to need this shortly afterwards.
Thank you to the authors, publisher, and netgalley for a review copy. This is an honest review.
March 12, 2021
I was given a copy of this book by NetGally for an honest review.
Author: Mike & Heather Spohr
Publisher: Quarto Publishing Group – Voyageur Press
You can read all of my reviews at https://notanearlybirdblog.blogspot.gr
I don't realy enjoy reading guides about raising children. "How to train your baby to sleep through the night" or "How to survive the first year"... The reason I don't like these books is that they "inhabit" a parallel universe, where parents are always well rested and armed with infinent amounts of patience and the kids are cooperative and responsive.
This book however, seemed different... The comparison between toddlers and zombies sounded like an interesting idea (even though the zombie genre isn't one of my favourite either) so I decided to give it a chance... What a big mistake!
First of all, the promise of humor is never fulfilled. Every attempt of humor feels not only forced but often offencive ("psychotic toddler" is only one example).
The portrayal of the parents is caricaturistic, weak and helpless, they appear to be left at the mercy of their so called "psychotic toddlers", who on the other hand appear to be super villains, whose only purpose is to deliberately embarrass their parents, physically hurt them, destroy their immaculate house and make their lives a living hell.
Yes, having kids is not easy (I have two of them and both toddlers for all it matters), yes, they do turn your life upside down and no, they don't come with a user's manual, but they are not the plague describrd here.
I know this is (supposed to be) a humor book and some measure of exaggeration is to be expected, but if people who haven't had kids yet read this book, we are doomed to extinction.
Author: Mike & Heather Spohr
Publisher: Quarto Publishing Group – Voyageur Press
You can read all of my reviews at https://notanearlybirdblog.blogspot.gr
I don't realy enjoy reading guides about raising children. "How to train your baby to sleep through the night" or "How to survive the first year"... The reason I don't like these books is that they "inhabit" a parallel universe, where parents are always well rested and armed with infinent amounts of patience and the kids are cooperative and responsive.
This book however, seemed different... The comparison between toddlers and zombies sounded like an interesting idea (even though the zombie genre isn't one of my favourite either) so I decided to give it a chance... What a big mistake!
First of all, the promise of humor is never fulfilled. Every attempt of humor feels not only forced but often offencive ("psychotic toddler" is only one example).
The portrayal of the parents is caricaturistic, weak and helpless, they appear to be left at the mercy of their so called "psychotic toddlers", who on the other hand appear to be super villains, whose only purpose is to deliberately embarrass their parents, physically hurt them, destroy their immaculate house and make their lives a living hell.
Yes, having kids is not easy (I have two of them and both toddlers for all it matters), yes, they do turn your life upside down and no, they don't come with a user's manual, but they are not the plague describrd here.
I know this is (supposed to be) a humor book and some measure of exaggeration is to be expected, but if people who haven't had kids yet read this book, we are doomed to extinction.
August 16, 2017
While I am certainly not a parent (and let's be honest, I tend to shirk away from kids because they're adorable little ninjas and I would enlist a thousand of them as my little minions so I can rule the world -kidding- so let's just like....pretend they don't exist and we can all push the motherly hormones into a galaxy far far away; #singlelife5ever #cringyhipsterninjawannabe), I still quite enjoyed this read. I can't say I learned anything mind-blowing about toddlers from it. However, it did outline several neat little common-sense notes and, if you're a parent approaching that fell land of toddlerdom, methinks it would amuse your tired soul.
To assure my dear readers that this book was entirely hilarious and informative (to a minimal degree on the latter), I have included several of my favourite quotes below, followed by a list of things I liked/disliked, etc :)
{1} In comparison to babies... "Toddlers, on the other hand, are able to wreak havoc vertically and with velociraptor-like speed."
{2} Tiny artists... "Toddlers are like tiny Banksys who want their work to be seen on the biggest canvas possible, and in your home that canvas is your walls."
{3} Food negotiation... "Just like you don’t negotiate with terrorists, you don’t negotiate with toddlers. Once you start saying, “One bite of carrots and you can have a cookie,” your toddler has won. The next thing you know, a few months will pass and the rate of business will have slowly bumped up to the point where you’re trading five cookies and a scoop of ice cream for that same, teensy-weensy bite of carrots."
Unique Features
- Plenty of humour and multiple references to currently-relevant entertainment (movies, shows, books, etc)
- Parent testimonials from the present day and (with a bit of imagination) from the 1800s :P
- Pictures & art to complement the prosaic snark
- Toddler tips - that is, tips that are not sarcastic and probably will help you raise a child
- Feeding tips; dealing with candy, vegetables, and the glorious mess post dinner battle
x How to keep them clean (good follow-up after meals)
x Common fears they have and how to nullify them (like fear of baths b/c of drains that might suck them away... I remember this fear when I was little...it isn't a joke)
x Dealing with screaming toddlers in public situations (stores, restaurants, extended family visits, airplanes, etc).
- Top 5 places to hide candy (from worst to best) and other amusing lists
Things that didn't jive with me:
- Mild language and some mature content
- Started off treating the concept of a toddler as a thing to be feared, rather than tiny people with feelings and souls; however, it didn't follow that train the whole way, so this was only a slightly bothersome itch rather than a battle wound to the book
---
Overall, it was an amusing read (and despite the title, had very little reference to the walking dead). I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a must-have for your new-parent shelf, but if you appreciate a little humour and snark and want a refresher to your common-sense detector, then you'll probably enjoy this one!
*Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this ebook from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
{Rating} - 4/5 Stars
To assure my dear readers that this book was entirely hilarious and informative (to a minimal degree on the latter), I have included several of my favourite quotes below, followed by a list of things I liked/disliked, etc :)
{1} In comparison to babies... "Toddlers, on the other hand, are able to wreak havoc vertically and with velociraptor-like speed."
{2} Tiny artists... "Toddlers are like tiny Banksys who want their work to be seen on the biggest canvas possible, and in your home that canvas is your walls."
{3} Food negotiation... "Just like you don’t negotiate with terrorists, you don’t negotiate with toddlers. Once you start saying, “One bite of carrots and you can have a cookie,” your toddler has won. The next thing you know, a few months will pass and the rate of business will have slowly bumped up to the point where you’re trading five cookies and a scoop of ice cream for that same, teensy-weensy bite of carrots."
Unique Features
- Plenty of humour and multiple references to currently-relevant entertainment (movies, shows, books, etc)
- Parent testimonials from the present day and (with a bit of imagination) from the 1800s :P
- Pictures & art to complement the prosaic snark
- Toddler tips - that is, tips that are not sarcastic and probably will help you raise a child
- Feeding tips; dealing with candy, vegetables, and the glorious mess post dinner battle
x How to keep them clean (good follow-up after meals)
x Common fears they have and how to nullify them (like fear of baths b/c of drains that might suck them away... I remember this fear when I was little...it isn't a joke)
x Dealing with screaming toddlers in public situations (stores, restaurants, extended family visits, airplanes, etc).
- Top 5 places to hide candy (from worst to best) and other amusing lists
Things that didn't jive with me:
- Mild language and some mature content
- Started off treating the concept of a toddler as a thing to be feared, rather than tiny people with feelings and souls; however, it didn't follow that train the whole way, so this was only a slightly bothersome itch rather than a battle wound to the book
---
Overall, it was an amusing read (and despite the title, had very little reference to the walking dead). I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a must-have for your new-parent shelf, but if you appreciate a little humour and snark and want a refresher to your common-sense detector, then you'll probably enjoy this one!
*Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this ebook from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
{Rating} - 4/5 Stars
August 17, 2017
I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.
“If you’ve ever seen a horror film where zombies relentlessly come after human flesh with single-minded determination, then you’ve got a pretty good idea of how toddlers feel about candy.”
As said, this book is a humorous guide to raising your toddler or praising yourself for life with toddler.
And that’s exactly what this book is! I mean while reading this book I might have laughed more than I actually have laughed during my kids’ toddlerhood. I can agree with almost everything stated in this book and the ones I can’t agree with, are something that I haven’t done with my own: for example we haven’t been in movies because I know that all hell would break loose then. :’D
This is great book to those who doesn’t have kids and to those who have. At least for me it was an awesome reminder that this doesn’t have to be so serious, you can do this through humor which makes everything so much easier with my toddler drawing to those new tapestries we have just put on the walls or refusing to potty training and still screaming her lungs out when she does her thing in her diaper.
After all I’ll rate this book with 4 stars. It was good, I had a blast while reading it but I would have wanted something more. It felt kind of like it’s repeating itself with everything.
“If you’ve ever seen a horror film where zombies relentlessly come after human flesh with single-minded determination, then you’ve got a pretty good idea of how toddlers feel about candy.”
As said, this book is a humorous guide to raising your toddler or praising yourself for life with toddler.
And that’s exactly what this book is! I mean while reading this book I might have laughed more than I actually have laughed during my kids’ toddlerhood. I can agree with almost everything stated in this book and the ones I can’t agree with, are something that I haven’t done with my own: for example we haven’t been in movies because I know that all hell would break loose then. :’D
This is great book to those who doesn’t have kids and to those who have. At least for me it was an awesome reminder that this doesn’t have to be so serious, you can do this through humor which makes everything so much easier with my toddler drawing to those new tapestries we have just put on the walls or refusing to potty training and still screaming her lungs out when she does her thing in her diaper.
After all I’ll rate this book with 4 stars. It was good, I had a blast while reading it but I would have wanted something more. It felt kind of like it’s repeating itself with everything.
October 22, 2017
If you are the parent of a toddler (and even if you only visit the home of one of these families occasionally), I'm sure you know very well that your everyday life differs greatly from the romantic vision that you had in your mind when you, along with your partner, decided to introduce a new member to your family. The first steps, the struggle with food or sleeping time, unsuccessful attempts at maintaining a social life, and various mischief are just part of the deal you take in the bundle with a small person who has come into your life.
How challenging it can be to live with a toddler is very well known to Mike and Heather Spohr, the parents of three children and authors of the fun book "The Toddler Survival Guide ", a survival manual intended for the parents of a toddler.
If you've read any of my earlier reviews, I'm sure you already know I do not have any children of my own (at least not yet), but you may not know that my life is still filled with a multitude of 'toddlers'. Next to my nephews (some of which have already outgrown this phase and some just walked into one), there are also a lot of friends who were recently blessed with these small beings (I still see only the blessings, I try to be blind for the rest, until I experience everything on my own skin), so I believe I'm quite familiar with this problem. And that's exactly why, after I was laughing at a few introductory jokes, this book soon became a bit tiresome. Why? Answer arrives ...
I really don't think that life with a toddler can be all 'milk and honey'; I've seen my share of angry outbursts, crying, disorder and mischief, but still, I'm reluctant to compare them with the attack of the zombies. But, that's exactly what the authors of this book are doing and that is also something that should be funny to their readers. Specifically, their book should be a parody of "The Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks (of course, instead of zombies, this one is dealing with children), with the aim of giving you practical tips to survive this phase in your child's life, and at the same time to have some fun.
As I said, after I smiled a few times, I was lost trying to understand the intentions of this book. Not only that I thought it wasn't really funny to compare the children to beings with whom they should not be compared, but I also lost the sense of the whole purpose of the manual. The content of the book seems to be something 'already seen' (or 'already read') and also it isn't vivid enough to keep the parent's attention to the ideas that actually might have been useful for them (if they toddler give them some time to read it).
In order not to be completely negative, I have to praise the part of the manual in which the authors bring us some stories about toddlers in history, to show us that raising children has always been equally challenging. So we meet the Stone-age 'toddler' who painted the walls of his house / cave; the child who traveled to the New World on the Mayflower, and with his cry brought other travelers to the edge of despair, and also some other interesting stories. This part certainly rejoiced this little historian in me, but it was also interesting enough to help me to reach the ultimate goal – to come to the last page of this book.
I believed in the potential hidden in this book and I hoped that it might be interesting, and also useful for present or future parents, but unfortunately, after a few smiles, I was quite disappointed and even uninterested in its further content. I still believe that kids are a miracle, even when they are nervous and challenging are when we yearn for some rest. My recommendation for the other readers would be to leave the manual about zombie kids far behind, actually, to leave the zombies for some other horror literature. That's what I'm going to do!
How challenging it can be to live with a toddler is very well known to Mike and Heather Spohr, the parents of three children and authors of the fun book "The Toddler Survival Guide ", a survival manual intended for the parents of a toddler.
If you've read any of my earlier reviews, I'm sure you already know I do not have any children of my own (at least not yet), but you may not know that my life is still filled with a multitude of 'toddlers'. Next to my nephews (some of which have already outgrown this phase and some just walked into one), there are also a lot of friends who were recently blessed with these small beings (I still see only the blessings, I try to be blind for the rest, until I experience everything on my own skin), so I believe I'm quite familiar with this problem. And that's exactly why, after I was laughing at a few introductory jokes, this book soon became a bit tiresome. Why? Answer arrives ...
I really don't think that life with a toddler can be all 'milk and honey'; I've seen my share of angry outbursts, crying, disorder and mischief, but still, I'm reluctant to compare them with the attack of the zombies. But, that's exactly what the authors of this book are doing and that is also something that should be funny to their readers. Specifically, their book should be a parody of "The Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks (of course, instead of zombies, this one is dealing with children), with the aim of giving you practical tips to survive this phase in your child's life, and at the same time to have some fun.
As I said, after I smiled a few times, I was lost trying to understand the intentions of this book. Not only that I thought it wasn't really funny to compare the children to beings with whom they should not be compared, but I also lost the sense of the whole purpose of the manual. The content of the book seems to be something 'already seen' (or 'already read') and also it isn't vivid enough to keep the parent's attention to the ideas that actually might have been useful for them (if they toddler give them some time to read it).
In order not to be completely negative, I have to praise the part of the manual in which the authors bring us some stories about toddlers in history, to show us that raising children has always been equally challenging. So we meet the Stone-age 'toddler' who painted the walls of his house / cave; the child who traveled to the New World on the Mayflower, and with his cry brought other travelers to the edge of despair, and also some other interesting stories. This part certainly rejoiced this little historian in me, but it was also interesting enough to help me to reach the ultimate goal – to come to the last page of this book.
I believed in the potential hidden in this book and I hoped that it might be interesting, and also useful for present or future parents, but unfortunately, after a few smiles, I was quite disappointed and even uninterested in its further content. I still believe that kids are a miracle, even when they are nervous and challenging are when we yearn for some rest. My recommendation for the other readers would be to leave the manual about zombie kids far behind, actually, to leave the zombies for some other horror literature. That's what I'm going to do!
December 24, 2017
This book would be a fun gift for any new parent or one who is about to hit the toddler stage with their little ones. It's fun, it's informative, and it's sadly honest! Within the first couple of pages, I found myself nodding and chuckling along as I realize the brutally painful similarities that I am currently encountering with my little one.
Now, keep in mind this book is not meant to be completely serious, rather it is a book that offers up some real advice while poking fun at the very normal struggles that parents have with their toddlers. We are not alone! Messy hands, clumsiness, difficulty communicating, testing boundaries, and relentless demands for "The Elmo Song"... Mike Spohr and Heather Spohr have done their homework! Personally speaking, I found the section on Fur Siblings to be very relevant to things we are dealing with right now and the advice is spot on.
Also worth noting - "The Toddler Tips" throughout the book are not just for fun, there are some very useful tidbits here. Read them! Actually, do yourself a favor - read the book first for fun then read it again for some valuable advice. I am sure every parent of a toddler (or soon to be) will find something useful worth tucking away for later.
Thank you NetGalley and Voyageur Press for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for my honest feedback!
Now, keep in mind this book is not meant to be completely serious, rather it is a book that offers up some real advice while poking fun at the very normal struggles that parents have with their toddlers. We are not alone! Messy hands, clumsiness, difficulty communicating, testing boundaries, and relentless demands for "The Elmo Song"... Mike Spohr and Heather Spohr have done their homework! Personally speaking, I found the section on Fur Siblings to be very relevant to things we are dealing with right now and the advice is spot on.
Also worth noting - "The Toddler Tips" throughout the book are not just for fun, there are some very useful tidbits here. Read them! Actually, do yourself a favor - read the book first for fun then read it again for some valuable advice. I am sure every parent of a toddler (or soon to be) will find something useful worth tucking away for later.
Thank you NetGalley and Voyageur Press for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for my honest feedback!
April 2, 2019
While I enjoyed the fun and easy reading style of the book, after the first few chapters it started to be annoying. it seems that sharing another gag is more important to the authors than sharing a useful advice. Maybe I just got lucky, but I have not found too many advices that are applicable to my son and his behavior.
January 15, 2020
Title: The Toddler Survival Guide
Author: Mike and Heather Spohr
Genre: Nonfiction, Humor, Parenting, Toddlers, Survival Guide.
Plot: Statistically speaking, you are more likely to meet a ravenous sleep-deprived toddler than you are to meet an undead zombie but both creatures can be terrifying and very dangerous. It is best to proceed with caution and keep your handy guide near you at all times.
In a hilarious parody of all survival guides but especially zombie survival guides, The Toddler Survival Guide is the parenting book every parent needs. Parenting can be truly fulfilling but bone-crushingly hard at the same time and a healthy dose of humor is the secret to weathering all the toddler-themed storms.
Likes/Dislikes: This book is hilarious! It makes the best kind of Father's Day gift for new modern dads which is awesome. No guarantees if they will actually have the time to read it before baby eats it though.
Rating: PG-13 and up, mainly for reading level.
Date Reviewed: January 15th, 2020
I received a copy of this book courtesy of Netgalley for my honest opinion. I wasn't required to write a positive review and the opinions in the above review are my own.
Author: Mike and Heather Spohr
Genre: Nonfiction, Humor, Parenting, Toddlers, Survival Guide.
Plot: Statistically speaking, you are more likely to meet a ravenous sleep-deprived toddler than you are to meet an undead zombie but both creatures can be terrifying and very dangerous. It is best to proceed with caution and keep your handy guide near you at all times.
In a hilarious parody of all survival guides but especially zombie survival guides, The Toddler Survival Guide is the parenting book every parent needs. Parenting can be truly fulfilling but bone-crushingly hard at the same time and a healthy dose of humor is the secret to weathering all the toddler-themed storms.
Likes/Dislikes: This book is hilarious! It makes the best kind of Father's Day gift for new modern dads which is awesome. No guarantees if they will actually have the time to read it before baby eats it though.
Rating: PG-13 and up, mainly for reading level.
Date Reviewed: January 15th, 2020
I received a copy of this book courtesy of Netgalley for my honest opinion. I wasn't required to write a positive review and the opinions in the above review are my own.
November 22, 2017
The Toddler Survival Guide reads like a doomsday zombie survival guide. From discussions on eating, tantrums, and everything in between, this book runs the gamut on toddler care.
The Toddler Survival Guide has a lot of funny moments. The descriptions of toddlers in the throes of tantrums made me laugh. Anyone who has watched a toddler throw a tantrum knows that reasoning with them at that point is futile. The authors’ descriptions were amusing and made me thankful that my children are pretty well-mannered.
While this book was a cute novelty book, it’s not something I’d purchase for anyone, expectant parents or otherwise. This book was heavy on drama, but short on useful information. A certain amount of exaggeration is to be expected for a toddler survival guide, but for me, it was overkill. With two kids of my own, one well past the toddler years, I didn’t find the book very relatable. My kids are either absolute angels (unlikely), or this book was truly over the top. I was expecting more useful information intermixed with the stories of toddler terrors, so in that regard, I was disappointed.
Again, this book was entertaining. It was a quick read that made me laugh. So if you’re looking for a funny novelty book on parenting, this is the book for you. If you’re looking for practical information, keep on walking.
Thank you to NetGalley for providing the Kindle version of this book in exchange for an honest review.
The Toddler Survival Guide has a lot of funny moments. The descriptions of toddlers in the throes of tantrums made me laugh. Anyone who has watched a toddler throw a tantrum knows that reasoning with them at that point is futile. The authors’ descriptions were amusing and made me thankful that my children are pretty well-mannered.
While this book was a cute novelty book, it’s not something I’d purchase for anyone, expectant parents or otherwise. This book was heavy on drama, but short on useful information. A certain amount of exaggeration is to be expected for a toddler survival guide, but for me, it was overkill. With two kids of my own, one well past the toddler years, I didn’t find the book very relatable. My kids are either absolute angels (unlikely), or this book was truly over the top. I was expecting more useful information intermixed with the stories of toddler terrors, so in that regard, I was disappointed.
Again, this book was entertaining. It was a quick read that made me laugh. So if you’re looking for a funny novelty book on parenting, this is the book for you. If you’re looking for practical information, keep on walking.
Thank you to NetGalley for providing the Kindle version of this book in exchange for an honest review.
December 3, 2017
A copy of this review can be found at Book Ink Reviews.
Thank you to NetGalley, the Spohrs, and Voyageur Press for the free ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Appropriately short for frazzled, worn out parents of toddlers, The Toddler Survival Guide is laugh-out-loud funny. Any parent with a (or multiple--yikes!) toddler(s) will find themselves nodding and laughing along with all of the statements the Spohrs make.
The book walks you through the top tips of eating, bedtime, teeth brushing, potty training, tantrums, and more. I didn't find that it gave any awesome, never before thought of tips. Most of us parents have already blundered through enough of the toddler months that we know most of these instinctually. However, this is less about being a "how to" and all about how to come out the other end of the Toddler Apocalypse with some of our humor intact knowing that we are not alone. (No, really I needed to know that it was normal to have a toddler consistently remove their diaper and still refuse to sit on the potty. Y'all. The struggle is absolutely real.)
Thank you to NetGalley, the Spohrs, and Voyageur Press for the free ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Appropriately short for frazzled, worn out parents of toddlers, The Toddler Survival Guide is laugh-out-loud funny. Any parent with a (or multiple--yikes!) toddler(s) will find themselves nodding and laughing along with all of the statements the Spohrs make.
The book walks you through the top tips of eating, bedtime, teeth brushing, potty training, tantrums, and more. I didn't find that it gave any awesome, never before thought of tips. Most of us parents have already blundered through enough of the toddler months that we know most of these instinctually. However, this is less about being a "how to" and all about how to come out the other end of the Toddler Apocalypse with some of our humor intact knowing that we are not alone. (No, really I needed to know that it was normal to have a toddler consistently remove their diaper and still refuse to sit on the potty. Y'all. The struggle is absolutely real.)
August 14, 2017
After reading this, I really think Mike Spohr and James Breakwell need to collaborate. This book shows you how to survive toddlers, and James has a book on how to fight zombies with toddlers. And by that I mean when you have toddlers, you shouldn't actually use toddlers as a weapon against zombies.
This book is filled with humor, while at the same time, actually gives out good parenting advice. Some of the situations are presented in the extreme, but that just ups the humor. Even in the extreme, I'm sure there are plenty of parents that can relate.
The images helped to add some extra enjoyment. I don't have children, but if I ever do, I will read this book again to have some sense of what to do. This isn't a book written by a child care expert, just a parent that talks about the real world, not some imaginary place where things go as planned.
I was given a copy of this book by NetGally for an honest review.
Author: Mike Spohr
Publisher: Quarto Publishing Group – Voyageur Press
Publication Date: 1 Aug 2017
This book is filled with humor, while at the same time, actually gives out good parenting advice. Some of the situations are presented in the extreme, but that just ups the humor. Even in the extreme, I'm sure there are plenty of parents that can relate.
The images helped to add some extra enjoyment. I don't have children, but if I ever do, I will read this book again to have some sense of what to do. This isn't a book written by a child care expert, just a parent that talks about the real world, not some imaginary place where things go as planned.
I was given a copy of this book by NetGally for an honest review.
Author: Mike Spohr
Publisher: Quarto Publishing Group – Voyageur Press
Publication Date: 1 Aug 2017
January 13, 2018
I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley for an unbiased review.
Basically written much like a zombie survival guide, THE TODDLER SURVIVAL GUIDE is meant to amuse while showing parents how to basically toddler proof their lives. Helpful reminders about needing to step up the baby proofing because toddlers can and will climb EVERYTHING are sprinkled throughout the humor, etc.
As a non-parent surrounded by the parents of toddlers (and a few almost toddlers), the book made me laugh until I almost peed my pants, thinking of the horror stories they tell. It's like a built in birth control book, as if my friends' stories were not that enough already.
The book would be a great present for those parents who need to be reminded their struggles are not unique and they are not completely alone (all though, realistically, those parents don't have time to read a book). I'd also say it's a must read for those deciding if they are ready to have kids :-)
Basically written much like a zombie survival guide, THE TODDLER SURVIVAL GUIDE is meant to amuse while showing parents how to basically toddler proof their lives. Helpful reminders about needing to step up the baby proofing because toddlers can and will climb EVERYTHING are sprinkled throughout the humor, etc.
As a non-parent surrounded by the parents of toddlers (and a few almost toddlers), the book made me laugh until I almost peed my pants, thinking of the horror stories they tell. It's like a built in birth control book, as if my friends' stories were not that enough already.
The book would be a great present for those parents who need to be reminded their struggles are not unique and they are not completely alone (all though, realistically, those parents don't have time to read a book). I'd also say it's a must read for those deciding if they are ready to have kids :-)
September 16, 2017
My full review can be found on The Great Book Escape
The toddler survival guide was a humorous read (especially because I am currently in the toddler stage with my eldest and my youngest is not far behind). I found myself both laughing, and being horrified but in all honesty there is so much TRUTH in this book. Toddler parents to-be really should read this so that they know what they are getting themselves into. Toddlerhood is NOT, I repeat, NOT like infancy! Its a whole new ballgame.
The Spohrs touched on real life problems that non-parents would not even knew existed unless witnessed first hand. Humor was brought to situations that whilst dealing with them is not humorous in the slightest.
I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
The toddler survival guide was a humorous read (especially because I am currently in the toddler stage with my eldest and my youngest is not far behind). I found myself both laughing, and being horrified but in all honesty there is so much TRUTH in this book. Toddler parents to-be really should read this so that they know what they are getting themselves into. Toddlerhood is NOT, I repeat, NOT like infancy! Its a whole new ballgame.
The Spohrs touched on real life problems that non-parents would not even knew existed unless witnessed first hand. Humor was brought to situations that whilst dealing with them is not humorous in the slightest.
I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
October 5, 2017
I really enjoyed this smarmy title from authors who CLEARLY have, or have dealt with the joys of an infant developing into a psychopa-er-toddler. As a mother of a 17 month old myself, when I finally got a breath, wiped the puke and smashed banana from my shirt, removed the lego embedded in my foot and clicked off Paw Patrol for the first time in 16 god forsaken hours, it was a treat to be able to enjoy my cold coffee from 12 hours earlier and the surviving bite of a granola bar while I read that someone similar is going through the same hell....er....ordeal(?)....adventure(?). The advice was sound and simple with a twist of sarcasm and heaps of humor and anecdotes. I have a few friends whose children will soon be bursting into toddlerhood. And I can't wait for their precious, sweet, sleeping infants to erupt into insanity so I can share this gem.
August 7, 2017
This is a humorous book comparing surviving the toddler years to surviving a zombie attack. The book made me laugh at times, but at others the humor felt too forced. The stories do ring true to a mom of twin toddlers, and the tips inside are good suggestions.
I received an ARC from NetGalley.
I received an ARC from NetGalley.
December 29, 2018
Cheeky, but covers all the important points of toddlerdom with helpful tips along the way. Nothing groundbreaking here, but reassuring when losing one's mind trying to survive the invasion of the whiny unfed.
January 20, 2019
Very funny and relatable! It had me laughing so hard, especially dealing with when a screaming toddler wants a candy bar at the store! "Not many parents have ice in their veins to do this," is my favorite quote!
November 3, 2019
This was more of a commiseration from fellow parents that get it than a detailed how-to of dealing with toddlers. That being said, there are some helpful tips in there and the humor and illustrations were entertaining.
January 9, 2022
Great book!! The humor actually helped me feel better about what I had/have to keep a toddler alive on daily basis. Was anxious about the idea of potty training and this book definitely helped me chill out. Definitely recommended for parents with toddlers!!
December 13, 2023
Some practical advice, but largely too cynical for my taste.
December 14, 2017
Ha! I love this book! My kid is long grown up, but I can still remember the terrible two quite clearly! Looking back I can simultaneously shudder and laugh at the memories of those days! This book is like that! It brings back the memories and, as I now am beginning to be surrounded by toddlers, I can vicariously live those years again and step in and help the poor parents of the toddler. This is going to make a great gift for those parents. I think they need a good laugh with all they are going to experience over the next next year or two! Yes, toddlers are a LOT like zombies, Good job Spohrs!
I received a free Kindle copy of this book in exchange for a fair review.
I received a free Kindle copy of this book in exchange for a fair review.
September 3, 2017
I would like to thank the publisher and netgalley for allowing me to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
It is decades since I had toddlers of my own to deal with but I still found this a witty and entertaining look at surviving the toddler years. It has lots of advice to impart to parents while still trying to point out the humour wherever possible. Well worth giving as a gift to parents with toddler Apocalypse approaching!
It is decades since I had toddlers of my own to deal with but I still found this a witty and entertaining look at surviving the toddler years. It has lots of advice to impart to parents while still trying to point out the humour wherever possible. Well worth giving as a gift to parents with toddler Apocalypse approaching!
February 14, 2019
I am reviewing this book for Mike and Heather Spohr, Voyager Press and Netgallery who gave me a copy of their book for an honest review.
I dipped in and out of this over the last few weeks and laughed at how true a lot of it is. I had three children extremely close together and can still remember the standoffs and joy of having toddlers but boy, it was hard work (especially with a partner who was away for the majority of the toddler years). This book brought back many memories and I am struggling to think how I coped.
The advice and warnings are very sound and yet humorous at the same time.
The only downside for me were the illustrations. I didn’t like them. I expected more cartoons and maybe some photos of real children.
I dipped in and out of this over the last few weeks and laughed at how true a lot of it is. I had three children extremely close together and can still remember the standoffs and joy of having toddlers but boy, it was hard work (especially with a partner who was away for the majority of the toddler years). This book brought back many memories and I am struggling to think how I coped.
The advice and warnings are very sound and yet humorous at the same time.
The only downside for me were the illustrations. I didn’t like them. I expected more cartoons and maybe some photos of real children.
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