The Guy I'm Not Dating

The Guy I'm Not Dating #1

by Trish Perry

"Yowza!" exclaims Kara Richardson when she sees the handsome proprietor of the new delicatessen in town, Gabe Paolino—who soon expresses mutual interest. This would be the start of a perfect love story, except for one thing—Kara has vowed to stop dating until she feels God's leading.

But when humorous circumstances send Kara and Gabe on a road trip to Florida, hope springs anew. Even with Kara's flirtatious coworker Tiffany—"a hyena in heels"—along for the ride, the uncouple begins a lively journey that could change their paths forever.

This memorable, charming story of love's persistence captures the honor of waiting on God's timing, and the adventure of finding the perfect guy to not date.

Genres: Christian Fiction, Christian, Chick Lit, Romance, Fiction, Contemporary, Adult Fiction

487 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 15, 2006

About the author

Award-winning novelist Trish Perry has written more than 26 inspirational romances and devotionals for Harvest House Publishers, Summerside Press, Barbour Publishing, Winged Publications, Mountainbrook Ink, Summerside, Broadstreet Publishing, and Worthy Inspired. She has served as a columnist and as a newsletter editor over the years, as well as a 1980s stockbroker and a board member of the Capital Christian Writers organization in Washington, D.C. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and holds a degree in Psychology.

Trish’s latest contemporary romance, Why She Never Told Me, released March 2024.

Reviews

[Tina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Original post here: http://onemorepage.tinamats.com/the-g...

I’m not one to deny myself of chick lit books, especially Christian chick lit. I’ve mentioned it here a couple of times, but not in detail: I love chick lit. I love Christian chick lit, especially, because it’s clean, and it teaches good values that women should have, especially in a media-influenced world. Not that I don’t like secular chick lit — I still do, but I’m picky at what to read. Call me conservative, but I really don’t like reading about how a couple consummates their love, especially if they’re not yet married.

So this book from Trish Perry should just tickle my fancy: it’s chick lit, it’s Christian and it’s about dating and purity. Sounds good, right? Just right up my alley.

It sounds good alright. Kara meets Gabe just some time after she had broken up with her ex-boyfriend Paul, and decided not to date until she feels that it’s God’s will for her. This presents a problem to her since she is very attracted to Gabe, and Gabe admitted that he was attracted to Kara, too. Despite all this, Kara wanted to follow and honor her promise to God so she tells Gabe just that, who respectfully backs down. On the other side of the country, Kara’s parents received a call from their Aunt Addie, requesting a visit. However, things go awry when Kara’s dad breaks his legs, so they had now way to bring drive by Addie and visit Kara. Meanwhile, Gabe’s sister, her boyfriend and her twin brother rides to Virginia to visit Gabe without the permission of their parents so he promises to drive them back to Florida after his deli has set up. Kara, feeling the need to visit her family and pick up Addie on the way, decides to join the trip. Her best friend Ren joins them, as well as Kara’s co-worker and constant pain in the neck, Tiffany. And off they go to Florida, with lots of side trips and the ever increasing attraction between Gabe and Kara.

It’s a cute, wholesome story. If I read this a couple of years ago, I think I may have been enchanted with it and I would have been very thrilled at Kara and Gabe’s love story. But now, I’m not.

I think the main reason why I am quite on the fence with this book is how ideal everything seemed to be in the story. It’s like everyone’s so happy and everything is resolved so quickly. I’m not discounting that God puts everything in place if we follow His will and all, but I am having a very hard time believing the events in the story. It’s fiction, I know, but it just seemed to rosy and cheerful for me. In the sixty chapters of the book, I never found a lasting conflict that made me wonder what was going to happen, one that I’d expect would throw me off course and be surprised and all that. It’s not that I’m expecting so much action here, but I was expecting more complications, to add more depth in the story. For example, in Denise Hildreth’s Savannah by the Sea, Savannah thinks her romance with Joshua North is a match made in heaven…until she finds out something about his past. In Laura Jensen Walker’s Dreaming of Black and White, Phoebe had to struggle with her mother and the loss of her dad, even while trying to deny her attraction to her boss, Alex. In Kristin Billerbeck’s Ashley Stockingdale series, Ashley struggles with her family, her job, and even her best friend. I didn’t find enough conflict among the characters in The Guy I’m Not Dating — everyone just seemed to get along just fine, except for the lone villain, Tiffany. I understand that people do grow up in a nice environment — I came from one — but it didn’t feel like much of a book if everyone in the story is so darn happy and gets along well with each other.

Another thing that kind of got me thinking a bit too much with this novel is the plot. I have nothing against the concept of the story, which is mostly based on Joshua Harris’ I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I agree with the idea of not dating, and pursuing friendship first before romance. However, it’s just really hard to believe that everything happened like that. I may be biased because life’s jaded me a bit. Like I said, if I read this book a couple of years ago, I would’ve been smitten with the idea and I would have been dreaming of my own Gabe. It’s not that these things don’t happen, but it just seems too clean cut. This stems back to what I wrote on the previous paragraph — everything and everyone is just so happy, that it gets on my nerves.

It’s not that I don’t believe in God’s perfect timing, or His plans for me and my romantic life. It’s just that if I were a new Christian who’s got her heart broken or is waiting for the one and I read this, I probably would follow this book like a dating bible because it seems like the perfect Christian setting. Which may be the case, but it doesn’t always happen this way. You know how we say that secular media influences our choices a lot, which makes us want to become thinner, more popular or do things that the Bible says is wrong? I kind of feel wary about this novel because to me, it presents another side of the story. We are not always surrounded by Christians. More often than not, we’re with people who do not share the same beliefs as we do, and we have to face it because it’s reality. I fear that reading books like these that present a sort of perfect Christian world and the perfect Christian romance may make women want the exact same thing, and miss out on other things that God has in store for them. I know that I would probably believe this with all my heart if I read this years back, and it would take a lot to rid me of them, especially if I have set my heart to follow that one path of romance.

I’m not saying that this is a bad book. It’s funny, romantic and a good chick lit read, but I think reading this should really involve a lot of discernment. Kara and Gabe’s story is ideal, and it’s something that we women could pray for and hope for, but we must also be open to how God wants to write our love stories.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the wonderful book in the "Christian romance" genre. Do not judge this book by it's cover! This would be a great book for dating teenagers or anyone dating. This is a great, easy read fiction.

[Hannah Currie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so much fun to read! I was laughing from the first encounter and kept laughing all the way through at the crazy situations the main characters found themselves in, and the people who kept quite un-subltly trying to throw them together. But beyond the laughter was a deeper message about God, faithfulness, romance and doing relationships right - even if that looks a bit different for you than others. Loved this book!

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Title: THE GUY I’M NOT DATING
Author: Trish Perry
Publisher: Harvest House
2006
ISBN: 0-7369-1872-8
Genre: contemporary romance

Kara Richardson has sworn off dating. She’s made some mistakes with men she thought were good Christian men and when someone at her church said something about not dating and giving friendship a try first, Kara jumped at the idea. But no sooner than she makes her decision than she runs into Gabe Paolino’s deli to get out of a rainstorm. Gabe is seriously the best looking man she’s ever met, and he’s quick to follow her to the gym she’s a trainer at, join, and ask her out.

Kara explains to him her stance about not dating, and Gabe is interested in her enough that her idea isn’t a turn off. Instead, he finds creative ways to be included in her circle of friends, and including her when his twin teenage siblings and another boy make a surprise visit when high school lets out for the summer.

Add two quirky older ladies, an aggressive woman on the prowl, and a whole lot of humor and Kara and Gabe haven’t got a chance—or do they?

THE GUY I’M NOT DATING is one of Trish Perry’s older novels. I fell in love with her contemporary tea series and decided to give some of her older books a try. I’m glad I did. I love contemporary romances, and this is one, mixed with humor.

Kara is realistic, funny, bright, and encouraging, and completely sold out on what she believes in. Gabe –wow, what can I say? What a man? He’s realistic, in that he does get a bit annoyed sometimes, but he is otherwise nice and kind and unbelievably accommodating. Great book. If you missed THE GUY I’M NOT DATING the first time around, then pick it up now. $12.99. 342 pages.

[Karla · Rating 3 out of 5]

Our library was having a book sale and the title of this book made me chuckle. It was actually the second book that had a similar theme that I picked up from different sections. I read the dust jacket and was even more amused. So I plopped right down on a conveniently placed, but not entirely comfortable, plush cair. I lapped it up too. I did some serious laughing. There were so many funny statements. I must confess I did a little skimming, especially in the early chapters with Morine and Stan. But it all worked together to tell a fun story of romance... without all the romance. I was intrigued by the idea of actively not dating. The main character, Kara, hears about setting a firm foundation before dating at a church group. She determines to follow this plan, since she had recently experienced an unhappy breakup. Then she meets a handsome, kind, Christian man who is also interested in her. There are several relationships, at various levels, to juxtapose Kara's un-relationship. She discovers trusting the Lord's timing, unexpected adventures, loving, understanding that God works in different ways for different people and being an ambassador of Christ. It was definitely a fun read. It was light-hearted, clean, contained no curse words and gave me hope.

[Whitney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to not like this book, but I ended up thinking it was okay. If you don't have a boyfriend right now and are Christian, try this! It has some good messages... I mean I think a lot of it is kind of cheesy and I skipped over the prayers, but I think getting to know someone and work to be friends first is such a good message for any Christian girl.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I had read 'Beach Dreams', which serves as an unofficial companion book to this series, a few years ago, so I had met a handful of the characters already, but it was really fun to go back and see how things started out.
I also really like the concept of 'not dating' . . . of concentrating on building a friendship first, and allowing God to take the lead of the relationship (whether it leads beyond friendship or not). The best love stories (in my opinion) are the ones with that strong friendship foundation, and built with God's leading.
I love when authors include friendships (especially female friendships!) where they're able to encourage each other in the Lord . . . friends that will always speak truth to you and remind you of who you want to be when you (inevitably) fall short of that mark. Kara and Rennie definitely were those kind of friends to each other, and I look forward to seeing what Ren's story will hold!

[Kristine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sometimes you finish a book and you struggle really hard to remember why/how in the world it ended up on your "to read" list in the first place forever ago. At least I do, and I did with "The Guy I'm Not Dating." I find the title to this one particularly apt, as it is just about literally 342 pages of Kara Richardson reminding herself and the reader and all of her friends that Gabe is the perfection of man that she is not dating. I imagine I saw this was Christian chick-lit boasting of a road trip and thought it would be great since I like all three of those things. Be warned that it is definitely Christian and definitely chick-lit, but that road trip occupies about 10 of the 60 chapters.

Now, you may be saying, "But you rated it two stars!" Ah, that I did. Mostly I commend Trish on highlighting the concept of not dating, and I feel really mean when there's a possibility the author could come see this. My favorite part was her reference to What Women Want as she waxed her legs, which did in fact make me laugh out loud. As a librarian, I try to read books with an understanding of what about it appeals to those who do like it so I can recommend it based on those instead of my opinion. I'm sure those more deeply into the genre would be interested, but definitely no one interested in original characterization or a deep plot.

For me, the bad far outweighed the good. To start with, Kara really annoyed me. She needs to read So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore because every other minute the reader is treated to her having some massive made-up doubt about a guy she's not dating but is more emotionally attached to than she would be if they were actually dating. To that end, almost all the conversations felt stilted and unnatural. The plot itself was way too contrived, relying heavily on one coincidence after another, while labeling it all God's work. Which leads me to the fact that this is one of the preachiest Christian fiction books I've ever read. As another reviewer pointed out, I do believe every single unsaved character (all of whom were strategically inserted and painted as eagerly receptive to the Gospel) was in fact saved by the end. It's been almost a decade since I read widely in CF and sticking with my favorites like Robin Jones Gunn, Dee Henderson, Catherine Palmer, and Melody Carlson has clearly spoiled me. Their characters live out their faith, but don't have it thrust upon them with every single flip of the page. There was a certain feeling of complete naivety that made it seem much more like YA than adult. I am Kara's age and that's not how I nor my friends act any more. And if I had had to read one more time the words Gabe and perfect in the same sentence, I may have thrown the book. She barely knows him, yet he's "perfect." Every woman is flocking to him because he's just that attractive. I don't think he ever did a single thing wrong the whole book (and don't even get me started on that ridiculous squirrel chapter).

Back to Kara's characterization, I felt the whole time like she was just the equivalent of a Christian Bella Swan. I know that series wasn't out yet, but Kara is just as singularly-focused and vapid. Almost every conversation she has throughout the book revolves around one of two things: God or dating. People are way more varied than that. Plus her clumsiness was neither amusing nor endearing. Some of the things she did were just plain stupid, so her lack of common sense got really annoying. All this doesn't even go into the fact that in the same sentences she's reminding you she's not dating Gabe, she also freaks out completely over the possibility of someone else swooping in and making him cheat on her.

Clearly I needed to let off a little steam after this one. Readers going into it should just be aware that the only thing driving the plot is the fact that Kara isn't dating. There are some other incidents thrown in, but everything always quickly leads right back to the fact that poor Kara is miserable because she can't date Gabe even though she's acting like a clingy, possessive girlfriend who can't bear to have anyone else look at her man let alone think he's attractive. There aren't really any red flags, so it's a go to recommend it to fans of Christian chick-lit who don't mind a heavy dose of preaching. It's faster-paced with ridiculously short chapters and paragraphs, which don't allow for much character development.

[Merredith · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book in one day, January 1st, just sitting at home on recovery day. It was a pretty quick read. Half way through, i thought it was a sequel to a not well remembered book, What a Girl Wants by Kristin Billerbeck. Now I see, obviously that they are by two different authors and have nothing to do with each other, but both being about christian women who belong to singles groups who hang out at applebees, i got confused. This is a christian chick lit book about a woman who was dumped by her ex fiance and decided to not date for a while, when she meets the man of her dreams. if reading about people talking about christian values every sentence of their lives bothers you, skip this book. if that doesn't phase you, this is pretty much your average chick lit, very basic and cheery and it was fine. i would say don't go out of your way to find it, but if it appears in your house like it did for me, go ahead and take a read. everyone in this book is super...good. even the "bad" one isn't. so there's little conflict, which probably makes everything a bit dull. 2 stars it was ok.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This book a good, not amazing, but good. I liked the idea of it, but it just didn't quite fulfill my expectation on what it could be like.
Kara has recently decided that she is going to have a new "no-dating" rule for her life, but when she meets Gabe she suddenly feels that decision couldn't have come at a worse time.
I like the idea behind it; in getting to know someone as friends before dating. I think it is important to be friends, because once you're married the infatuation level does go down and you want to make sure there is something of substance in the relationship as well.
I just hoped for a bit more romance. The book could have done with some more cutting because they just seemed to take forever to figure things out.
I loved the characters though. Aunt Addie was hilarious and there were quite a few time that I laughed out loud while reading, which is always great.
This book has a lot of Christian stuff in it, which isn't what I typically read, but I still enjoyed it.
Good read, but I probably won't be reading more by this author.

[Michelle Lunsford · Rating 3 out of 5]

As far as fun reads go, this one was hysterically diverting. I also found the general premise - a lead who is opting to not date, partly for faith reasons, partly due to past hurts, and partly simply to figure out if there's a better way for her to go about finding someone to potentially share life with. It ends up being an interesting take on the development of relationship when the focus is friendship first and romance second (or not even at all). The fact that attraction and chemistry is definitely there for both parties in the relationship makes the challenge all the more intriguing. However, toward the end I found myself losing interest. I think this is mainly because I was growing impatient for resolution; a simple case of my preference for narrative timing and the author's idea of that timing not meshing. The faith elements of this story are also a good bit heavier and more blatantly interwoven than other Christian fiction I've tried. I didn't find any of it unrealistic, but I know not all readers like the more direct style, so take that as you will.

[Claudia · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Guy I'm Not Dating by Trish Perry is a fun Christian fiction read. Kara has just decided to not date anyone for awhile and find out what God has for her life when, "Yowza!" she sees Mr. Gorgeous starting up a deli in town. Nor only is he yowza, but he is also a Christian. Just when she decided to not date!! Kara and Gabe truly try to be lead by God in their lives while getting to know each other better. There are laughs and a few tears in this delightful story. This is also a true Christian novel. There is not just talk of God, but of His son Jesus Christ. An absolutely great read. I look forward to reading more of Trish Perry's books.

[Adair · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really liked a lot of this book. There were quite a few humorous moments that made me smile. I liked the characters but for the love of Pete! Talk about preachy and did they convert everyone in the book? I am a Christian myself and attend church regularly which is why I don't need to be preached to in my spare time. I almost put down the book a couple of times b/c there were so many darn prayers in the thing. Hallaluja, I finished it. I don't think I will read another one of her books though.

[Audrey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got this book because I saw some good reviews on it, but honestly, I'm just not digging it. I tried to like it, but the characters and situations are so contrived and phony and unrealistic and mushy and...well, you probably get the point. The main character is always supposed to be getting herself into awkward, funny scenarios, but all I can think of is really? And then there's this way-too-perfect guy...
I'll finish it because I feel obligated, or maybe I'm just hoping for a sudden amazing twist or something!

No amazing twist. Finished, but didn't care for.

[Trish · Rating 2 out of 5]

Decent premise and I liked the main characters, but Gabe was just a little too perfect, and Kara came off as rather shallow. Felt like the first in a series (and that the author was just setting the stage for sharing more about Ren and Jeremy). The slapstick comedy was overdone and some of the dialogue seemed juvenile for twenty-somethings. Lots of evangelizing as Kara is chatting with the younger sister of her "non-boyfriend" which felt rather artificial. Don't regret reading it, but won't be reaching for it again OR searching out the next installment.

[Andrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book -- I respect and appreciate the message behind it -- but I didn't. This is partly because I'm too old for this book (better fit for committed Christians in their late teens and early 20s) and partly because I felt that it lacked substance / content; two people attempting not to date turned out to be too flimsy a premise on which to base an entire novel. I see that other reviewers found it to be really funny; I guess I just have a different sense of humor.

[Jazz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had such a fun time with "The Guy I'm Not Dating". Kara's awkwardness was funny and super relatable. Yeah, everything seemed to be picture perfect for the most part and kinda unrealistic for how well everything worked out but I had such a great time reading this. I'm a Christian and I've never read a fiction christian book before. I can imagine how overboard some books could get but I thought the God centered parts of this story were perfect. Loved it.

[January · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was the typical chick lit but it had too much praying for me. I mean, the characters would actually hold hands and pray in each chapter. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong w/ being a Christian. I just didn't know that the underlying theme of the book was in Christianity. It was a bit intense for a supposed light read.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute Christian read. What I liked about it is how up front they were in their relationship. No beating around the bush. No lack of communication, like so many novels do. Some funny parts that I lol at. Cute & clean.


Moral Note: There was brief talk about an affair. Clean romance, clean language.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, this book was so sweet! It did take a little bit for me to get into but once I did, I was hooked! The characters were so lovable (except the one who's not supposed to be!) I loved the theme of courting and biblical concepts but in a fun, light hearted, romantic and sweet book. I can't wait to read the sequel about Ren!

[Stephanie Gaunt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this one. I find dating in today's world nearly impossible. This book was delightfully light-hearted about dating, but had such a serious undertone. All the while the antics that the group of people get into along the way had me in stitches!

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thought it was cute! Maybe not a total page turner, but interesting all the same. Almost makes me want to read Joshua Harris' book again since this book references his book, although if I remember correctly only about half of Harris' book was interesting.

[Saralyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book cracked me up. I chuckled the whole way through. Addie is definitely my favorite character. The writing style wasn't my favorite, but the humor more than made up for any irritation I had from it.

[Christy Wyndham · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. I laughed from the first chapter all the way to the end. Very light hearted and fun. I've since read almost all of Trish Perry's novels and I have never been disappointed.

[April JoAnne · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's okay for a fluff book without much substance. Pretty heavy on the religious theme which doesn't put me off too much but I just found the story to be very predictable and the characters to be a bit too unrealistic as is common for chick lit.

[Ralynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

such a fun book about two people who are like each other from the get go. but are determined to just stay friends. In between all this you have well meaning people trying to get them to move to the romance. A very good read.

[AJ]

Should the use of the word "God" twice on back cover given me the idea of the Christian theme running through the book?

Wasn't bad, but a few paragraphs/spots were a little off putting for this agnostic

[Tamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who loves Christian chick lit will adore watching Kara "not" date Gabe until they both find the surprise of their lives.

This is just the cutest Christian chick lit book ever! A must-read!!

[Mamie Garrett]

This is a good book to read. Wholesome and delightful.

[Koleen]

Great book. Very sweet ending that brought me to tears. A great read for young teenagers starting out dating. Great roll model for dating Christian men. Also just a fun romance for all women.