Another powerful book from Iyanla. I found myself crying as I read through some of the prayers because I need healing in those areas. The words resonated with me so hard. And this work is hard. I've found myself being resistant to doing the work. I've had this book for a month now and I've read it through--finished reading it over a week ago--but I haven't sat down and diligently done the exercises--or even gotten to putting my notes onto goodreads until today. Resistance. It's strong. And it's scary to know that I could change my life in such a powerful way. I think the resistance is coming from fear. And even though I know this, I still haven't started. Maybe tomorrow. I've been saying "maybe tomorrow" for the past two weeks. But I think it will actually be tomorrow that I start. And I will need to get my own copy of this book, instead of just a library copy, because I want to have the prayers and exercise process on hand in the months to come.
"You know that anything that 'cannot stand the heavenly heat' of this light 'is to be cast aside swiftly by conscious choice.' This light is your soul's light. The choice is yours to make." pg. 1
"For the purpose of the healing work that will be offered as the Get Over It! process, I am defining suffering in the following way: 'voluntary participation in situations and circumstances that diminish one's capacity and potential to thrive or flourish as a function of a belief that one is powerless to do anything else.'" pg. 2
"No matter how much we would like to blame our suffering on people and circumstances seemingly beyond our control, the bottom line is staggeringly simple: Anything and everything we experience is a function of what and how we think. How we think determines our feelings and behavior. How we behave determines the nature and quality of our lives. This also means that any emotional investment (i.e., feelings) that are attached to a particular thought pattern will resurface each time the pattern is engaged or entertained. To neutralize and eventually eliminate an unconscious, unproductive pattern of thought and the associated feelings, a steady stream of new thoughts must be introduced." pg. 4
"I have come to understand that when individuals are suffering through unpleasant or undesirable situations and circumstances, they are often unaware of how they participate in creating or re-creating their experience. In severe cases, when there is an addiction to suffering--meaning that the individuals have accepted their experiences as normal and expect them to remain as they are--there is often a flat-out refusal to acknowledge or accept We are what we think as the truth. It is a matter of accepting responsibility for the state and condition of our mind. For some reason, average human beings will resist this premise and the responsibilities associated with it. I, too, have been in that place--resisting, dismissing, and flat-out rejecting the notion that I had the power to change the circumstances of my life with a thought. Regardless of how it was presented to me, I felt as if I was being blamed for my own suffering. It was not until my repeated attempts to 'fix' my life had failed that I became ruthlessly committed to having dominion over the circumstances of my life. Only then could I hear, comprehend, and accept how my thoughts, feelings, and patterns of behavior determined my ability to survive, and then thrive. It was not an easy task to undertake or a simple shift to make; however, my desire to be a better example and to create a better life for my children kept me on the path." pg. 5
"This interplay of thinking one thing, feeling something else, and doing a third thing--all while believing that you will never get what you want--is what makes suffering seem normal and acceptable to many folks." pg. 12
"When the mind is consciously or unconsciously focused on traumatic experiences, unpleasant memories, and a long list of the things you 'do not' want to experience, the energy of these thoughts becomes dominant in your mind and takes over as the basis of the mental attitude that governs your expectations. In life, you do not experience what you ask for; you experience what you expect. The expectations we hold are the fruits of the subconscious mind." pg. 27
"'I give meaning to everything I see' is a lesson from A Course in Miracles. It can be translated to mean the following: 'I see it because I recognize it. I recognize it because I believe I am it. Because I believe I am it, the ego demands that I hide it and make it all about you.' Making your life conditions and experience about something or someone other than yourself 'trumps' the truth that thoughts, not people, create the intimate and personal conditions of your life." pg. 48
"Our behaviors and choices are our contributions to our experiences. Regardless of what we may say we need, want, or desire at any given moment, what shows up in our lives as our experience is what we think and feel about those things. Until we become aware of and acknowledge our contributions, we will blame, feel victimized, and cling to powerlessness. Acknowledgment is a declaration of our unconscious dominant negative thought patterns that are hidden beneath the surface and must ultimately be accepted to be healed." pg. 51-52
"Acceptance does not mean agreement, nor does it mean we feel good about what we're facing. It does, however, mean that we're willing to look for and embrace the lesson. It also indicates a willingness to grow through the experience by understanding something 'bigger,' which we may not recognize just yet, is unfolding for our benefit." pg. 53
"Remember, thinking one thing, feeling something else, and behaving in a manner that is incongruent with what you think and what you feel is the stuff that makes suffering normal." pg. 55
"Scientific research has confirmed that a woman's nutritional condition, psychological states, and emotional propensities do in fact influence the predispositions of the children she gives birth to. Such susceptibilities often manifest as low self-esteem, a diminished state of self-value, and a lack of self-worth later in life." pg. 71
"Sometimes it's best for a person to work with a therapist, in order to unpack the past; other times it's better to work with a coach, in order to design and create a productive future." pg. 84
"The key word in all of this is 'choice.' We all have to navigate the psychological and emotional pathology we inherit from our parents and environment; however, nothing we experience eliminates our free will and our ability to choose how to respond. As we grow and mature, there comes a moment when we must examine the choices we make and the consequences of those choices. These alone are our responsibility." pg. 86-87
"Repetition is the mother of all skill, and what we focus on grows. When we're not aware of what we're thinking, we're very likely to repeat to ourselves the same dominant negative thoughts until we master them. May people do exactly this. They master these thoughts be believing them, even when they're not true: You're so stupid! You never do anything right! You can't do that!." pg. 100
"Every negative belief about ourselves or every uncertainty about our ability to do something carries an energy that will open a DNTP file--a fear file, a guilt file, a why-bother file. Thoughts and beliefs feed expectations: 'I'll never do it! I can't . . . It doesn't matter anyway.' These thoughts are more often than not attached to outcomes we expect, whether or not our expectations are supported by reality. So very often we master thoughts, beliefs, and expectations about the very things we don't want because of the silent, terrifying, unconscious thoughts that we repeat in our mind." pg. 101
"One of the most perfect forms of prayer proven to yield miraculous results is affirmative prayer. This form of spiritual petition focuses on a desired and positive outcome rather than a problem or negative situation. By affirming the desired intention as if it's already happened, affirmative prayer teaches us to program the mind about what to expect. Remember, expectations are beliefs that determine what we experience, and we always get what we expect." 103
"Affirmations are a method of preparing your mind for success; an unprepared mind cannot entertain, experience, or receive success. An affirmation is a statement you make to impress a desired idea onto your consciousness and within the energy of your environment. It is a suggestion that you make to yourself that increases and expands your beliefs and expectations. A suggestion is an idea or plan generally proposed by another person to gain your acceptance and supportive action. Commercial ads are a form of suggestion. Think of an affirmation as an ad for a desired experience that you run in your brain. In this way, an affirmation becomes more than positive self-talk. It becomes a powerful declaration that inspires or motivates acceptance and action." pg. 107
"Rather than offer a lengthy explanation of how and why affirmations work, I'll share with you an affirmation I was taught about the process and power of affirmation:All thoughts are creative.When I think positively, I create powerfully.My thoughts are affirmations that support the creation of the reality I desire.My affirmations are the words I speak to powerfully infuse my thoughts.I repeat my affirmations with emotional commitment, intensity, certainty, and faith.My affirmations consistently support me as I tap into the unlimited power of my subconscious mind.Every affirmation I speak has a powerful and positive influence on my mind throughout the day.My affirmations create new habits that will propel me, with grace and ease, toward all that I desire.I feed faith and strength into every fiber of my being by using my affirmations consistently and with commitment.I affirm my good, and I see it come to life." pg. 109
"Correct and conscious breathing is one of the best and easiest ways of building a healthy mind and body. When we breathe consciously, we invoke a relaxation response that is healing, energizing, and cleansing. . . By breathing consciously, we release stress as well as all of the mental and physical issues associated with the experience of being stressed. Conscious breath work is powerful because it oxygenates the brain and body cells, allowing us to function in a clearer mental and emotional state. It increases circulation to the lymph glands, removing toxins and debris and thereby releasing negative energy." pg. 111
"The thymus gland is located in the emotional energy center of the body--behind the sternum, or breastbone--near the heart. In fact, it has been referred to as the 'heart's protector.' The thymus gland is energetically responsible for regulating the flow of energy throughout the entire body, it's affected most by emotions related to feeling unsafe, attacked, and unprotected--those emotions that accompany most dominant negative thought patterns. Because the thymus is so powerful and connected to the rest of the body's energy system, almost any emotional or energetic blockage or imbalance can be affected by working with the thymus gland. The thymus thump is a method of gently tapping on the thymus gland to create vibrations that stimulate energy within the body." pg. 118-119
"Being in a relationship with someone is an important aspect of life. We want to share all of who we are, and we want to know that who we are matters to our beloved. I don't choose to be 'just another' person in the life of my beloved. I want to feel and be connected at the soul level. That feeling will be reflected by how he looks at me, what he sees for me, and how I feel when I look at him. Fourteen years is a long time, and during that time, things can become dull, worn out, and taken for granted. My partner was and is a beautiful man, but when I looked into his eyes, it was clear to me that the thrill was gone. . . and so was he. He didn't agree and was willing to convince me otherwise. But I have learned over the years never to allow what someone else says and does to determine how and what I feel." pg. 120
"As you do the GOI work, the intention is to decrease the DNTP intensity level until you feel a shift in your mind and the intensity level you experience drops to 0. This shift will also be demonstrated by how you respond to and address both new and familiar situations in your life. Chances are you'll discover some things that once set you off no longer do; other things you never considered possible for yourself will present you with no difficulties. The more consistently you practice the GOI work, the better you will get at it. The better you get at doing the work, the easier it will become to make better choices and decisions every day. This is how you can confirm that old files are being emptied and new files are being created." pg. 137
"Your soul, a.k.a. your authentic self knows what is true, whether or not you consciously know it or believe it. Affirmative prayers tap into the divine essence of your being and ignite the truth that is buried beneath all the lures and traps of the ego and your physical senses." pg 137
"Don't make this process more difficult than it needs to be. Follow the steps: become aware of the dominant negative thought pattern or feeling; acknowledge the feelings that get triggered; set an intention to be healed of the trigger; accept the intensity level of the pattern; and act---'do your work' until the DNTP's intensity level is reduced to 0. And always support your daily prayer and affirmation practices with the energy-clearing tools." pg. 141
"The human brain's negativity bias, which wires us to give more attention to the negative than to the positive, means feeling bad can become so familiar that it almost feels good. Why people seem to be more content to complain and suffer than to consciously or consistently do what is required to improve themselves and their lives is a conundrum. Holding on to whatever or whoever is the source of our pain or distress is apparently much more comfortable than the effort required to get over it." pg. 299-300
"At the end of the day, the only thing that has put many of us on the healing path was the final awareness that if we didn't change, nothing else would change." pg. 335
Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library.