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Practices of Love: Spiritual Disciplines for the Life of the World
Spiritual disciplines are often viewed primarily as a means to draw us closer to God. While these practices do deepen and enrich our "vertical" relationship with God, Kyle David Bennett argues that they were originally designed to positively impact our "horizontal" relationships--with neighbors, strangers, enemies, friends, family, animals, and even the earth. Bennett explains that this "horizontal" dimension has often been overlooked or forgotten in contemporary discussions of the spiritual disciplines.This book offers an alternative way of understanding the classic spiritual disciplines that makes them relevant, doable, and meaningful for everyday Christians. Bennett shows how the disciplines are remedial practices that correct the malformed ways we do everyday things, such as think, eat, talk, own, work, and rest. Through personal anecdotes, engagement with Scripture, and vivid cultural references, he invites us to practice the spiritual disciplines wholesale and shows how changing the way we do basic human activities can bring healing, renewal, and transformation to our day-to-day lives and the world around us.
210 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 22, 2017
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
February 8, 2018
I struggled with this book, honestly. I really wanted to like it and be inspired by its ideas, but it just couldn't get there. First of all, the book could have used some serious editing. Editing was needed. The text would have benefited from editing. This is a manuscript that could have been better if it had been edited. Seriously, this is is what almost every paragraph was like. There was a topic sentence followed by four or five iterations of the same without significantly expanding on or further explaining the idea.
His premises, which is a good one, is that the classical spiritual disciplines (like solitude, fasting, service, etc) typically are only explored in their vertical dimension, which is to say how they help me grow in my relationship with God. He wants to propose that they all have a horizontal dimension as well, which is to say how they help us love and serve our neighbor. In some chapters, this really works well. In others, its a great stretch. The metric just doesn't fit in quite the way the author desires it to fit.
I do think he is right is suggesting that the spiritual disciplines should be practiced with an eye not only towards God, but also towards our neighbor. I'm just not sure that was the best effort in exploring that idea. We did this book as a study for adult formation in our church, and largely, the participants felt similarly to how I did. The last chapter, though, is excellent - it sums up his ideas, challenges us to move forward them, and is concise. I've shelved this book next to "Celebration of Discipline," by Richard Foster, because I think it belongs there. But when I want to think about spiritual disciplines again, I'll probably reread Foster's book instead of Bennett's.
His premises, which is a good one, is that the classical spiritual disciplines (like solitude, fasting, service, etc) typically are only explored in their vertical dimension, which is to say how they help me grow in my relationship with God. He wants to propose that they all have a horizontal dimension as well, which is to say how they help us love and serve our neighbor. In some chapters, this really works well. In others, its a great stretch. The metric just doesn't fit in quite the way the author desires it to fit.
I do think he is right is suggesting that the spiritual disciplines should be practiced with an eye not only towards God, but also towards our neighbor. I'm just not sure that was the best effort in exploring that idea. We did this book as a study for adult formation in our church, and largely, the participants felt similarly to how I did. The last chapter, though, is excellent - it sums up his ideas, challenges us to move forward them, and is concise. I've shelved this book next to "Celebration of Discipline," by Richard Foster, because I think it belongs there. But when I want to think about spiritual disciplines again, I'll probably reread Foster's book instead of Bennett's.
February 12, 2018
I'd retitle this "Spirituality for College Students: How Not to be a Jerk". Young singles appear to be the primary intended audience based on the tone and pop culture references.
I did appreciate some of the new (to me) insights on redeemed socialization (not being intrusive on your neighbor's life) and communication/meditation.
Overall, while the principles were helpful, the applications are better suited to a particular lifestyle.
I did appreciate some of the new (to me) insights on redeemed socialization (not being intrusive on your neighbor's life) and communication/meditation.
Overall, while the principles were helpful, the applications are better suited to a particular lifestyle.
January 30, 2018
Summary: An approach to spiritual disciplines that explores how various spiritual practices not only nurture our relationship with God but shape our habits of being in the world including how we love our neighbors, and the rest of God's creation.
This book is probably different than any book on spiritual disciplines I've read. What Kyle David Bennett does is turn the spiritual disciplines "on their side" and consider how these spiritual practices, often focused on deepening our love for God, are also meant to shape our life, and love, in the world.
Bennett builds on the insights of James K. A. Smith, who wrote the foreword to this book. Smith contends that the way we live is shaped be what we desire, or love (see my review of his You Are What You Love for more on this). Bennett extends Smith's work in a couple ways. Smith particularly focuses on "cultural liturgies," whether Christian, in the context of worship, or secular, shaped by our life in the world. Bennett focuses attention, rather, on spiritual disciplines, habits of faithfulness we often think of bringing us closer to God. Bennett shows how these, turned on their side reshape ways in which we live and love wrongly--selfishly, idolatrously and so forth. He believes much of our lives are spent eating, thinking, sharing, giving, owning, socializing, resting, and working. These occur with others, in the physical world. Disciplines like feasting and fasting, meditation, simplicity, solitude, silence, service, and sabbath are meant to shape the desires we pursue in these everyday endeavors along kingdom lines.
The other way Bennett extends Smith's work, and a key insight for the wider conversation about spiritual formation is that these are meant to be ongoing disciplines and that they all are integral to our life in the world. They aren't meant as simply retreat fare, or a spiritual "fix" when we need a spiritual pick-me-up. These "practices of love" only have a chance to re-order our loves and life in the world if woven into everyday life.
This is where Bennett gets very practical. Each chapter considers ways our lives may be malformed and how a particular discipline may transform our practice. For example, practices of simplicity move us from lavish living or squandering to loving neighbors with pockets and possessions. Each chapter concludes with a prayer and "side steps" that are practical and doable to incorporate the particular discipline in your life.
What I most appreciate about Bennett's work is that he addresses what often seems like a disconnect between spiritual disciplines and everyday life. Also, he gets very practical. A small group, a discipleship group, or even church leadership team could work through this together. There is no grandiose vision here, but in Mother Theresa's word, "small things done with great love." I'll conclude with Bennett's words:
"What I am trying to say is that we cannot underestimate the power of simply being loving people who live lives of love, We cannot overlook the value of being people who sacrifice in the littlest of things so that our neighbor can have a more comfortable and peaceful livelihood. We cannot diminish the value and necessity of simply being sensitive to what those around us expect and need. These are goods from which everyone can benefit" (p.177).
____________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
This book is probably different than any book on spiritual disciplines I've read. What Kyle David Bennett does is turn the spiritual disciplines "on their side" and consider how these spiritual practices, often focused on deepening our love for God, are also meant to shape our life, and love, in the world.
Bennett builds on the insights of James K. A. Smith, who wrote the foreword to this book. Smith contends that the way we live is shaped be what we desire, or love (see my review of his You Are What You Love for more on this). Bennett extends Smith's work in a couple ways. Smith particularly focuses on "cultural liturgies," whether Christian, in the context of worship, or secular, shaped by our life in the world. Bennett focuses attention, rather, on spiritual disciplines, habits of faithfulness we often think of bringing us closer to God. Bennett shows how these, turned on their side reshape ways in which we live and love wrongly--selfishly, idolatrously and so forth. He believes much of our lives are spent eating, thinking, sharing, giving, owning, socializing, resting, and working. These occur with others, in the physical world. Disciplines like feasting and fasting, meditation, simplicity, solitude, silence, service, and sabbath are meant to shape the desires we pursue in these everyday endeavors along kingdom lines.
The other way Bennett extends Smith's work, and a key insight for the wider conversation about spiritual formation is that these are meant to be ongoing disciplines and that they all are integral to our life in the world. They aren't meant as simply retreat fare, or a spiritual "fix" when we need a spiritual pick-me-up. These "practices of love" only have a chance to re-order our loves and life in the world if woven into everyday life.
This is where Bennett gets very practical. Each chapter considers ways our lives may be malformed and how a particular discipline may transform our practice. For example, practices of simplicity move us from lavish living or squandering to loving neighbors with pockets and possessions. Each chapter concludes with a prayer and "side steps" that are practical and doable to incorporate the particular discipline in your life.
What I most appreciate about Bennett's work is that he addresses what often seems like a disconnect between spiritual disciplines and everyday life. Also, he gets very practical. A small group, a discipleship group, or even church leadership team could work through this together. There is no grandiose vision here, but in Mother Theresa's word, "small things done with great love." I'll conclude with Bennett's words:
"What I am trying to say is that we cannot underestimate the power of simply being loving people who live lives of love, We cannot overlook the value of being people who sacrifice in the littlest of things so that our neighbor can have a more comfortable and peaceful livelihood. We cannot diminish the value and necessity of simply being sensitive to what those around us expect and need. These are goods from which everyone can benefit" (p.177).
____________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
October 13, 2025
Maybe 2.5? According to the Goodreads standard. The book is more than okay, but at some point I lost trust with the author.
His main focus is for his audience to grow in frequency of spiritual discipline, as well as grow in understanding of how to do that discipline with others in mind. Both of which are worthy endeavors, but there were two writer-habits of his that rubbed me the wrong way.
Firstly, the chapters are mechanical to a fault. This is probably a personal gripe, and so won't affect many, but around the third or fourth discipline, you know exactly phrases that the next chapter is going to use. Again, some people may like the standardization of chapters in that way, but it kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
Secondly, a penchant for overstatement. This habit I assume he borrows from Smith, who wrote the foreword for his book (and the content of whose work I've appreciated!), and perhaps other writers who are so invested in making their point that they leave nuance behind. Bennett focuses so heavily on doing the disciplines for others, that he seems to get the order of events for the disciplines wrong. For writers like Augustine and Owen, the best thing we can do for our neighbor is to first and foremost love God. Loving God corrects our love for neighbor. According to Augustine, we love our neighbor only in order to love God. Bennett might agree with all of this, but it wasn't something I got out of his book on a first reading.
His main focus is for his audience to grow in frequency of spiritual discipline, as well as grow in understanding of how to do that discipline with others in mind. Both of which are worthy endeavors, but there were two writer-habits of his that rubbed me the wrong way.
Firstly, the chapters are mechanical to a fault. This is probably a personal gripe, and so won't affect many, but around the third or fourth discipline, you know exactly phrases that the next chapter is going to use. Again, some people may like the standardization of chapters in that way, but it kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
Secondly, a penchant for overstatement. This habit I assume he borrows from Smith, who wrote the foreword for his book (and the content of whose work I've appreciated!), and perhaps other writers who are so invested in making their point that they leave nuance behind. Bennett focuses so heavily on doing the disciplines for others, that he seems to get the order of events for the disciplines wrong. For writers like Augustine and Owen, the best thing we can do for our neighbor is to first and foremost love God. Loving God corrects our love for neighbor. According to Augustine, we love our neighbor only in order to love God. Bennett might agree with all of this, but it wasn't something I got out of his book on a first reading.
June 3, 2024
This book has an intriguing main point that spiritual disciplines are best practiced in a way that loves our neighbor. However that is rarely explained in a practical way and most chapters leave you wondering what his idea would practically look like. The short suggestions are often "try this discipline while you brush your teeth or are in the car for your morning commute," which wasn't that helpful.
July 21, 2021
Frankly, as much as I love the idea of spiritual disciplines as a way to love our neighbor, this book falls short. Each chapter is formulaic, explaining a spiritual discipline, exploring a few ways in which it can help us love others, and ending with a checklist. It would have been much more effective as a blog post. With the goal of viewing spiritual disciplines at the horizontal level, it also neglects the importance of spiritual disciplines between us and God, creating an unnecessary, if not false, dichotomy.
October 4, 2017
I finished reading this book last week and I must say that I was confronted in some areas of my life. However, there were other aspects that seemed very repetitive. Possibly the author wanted to make his ideas clear.
What is this book about?
Everything turns on how our spirituality is not only about God but also about our neighbor.
Many of us think that all we need is to have good fellowship with God but ignore or despise our neighbor. And that needs to be corrected. This book encourages and provides us with ideas on how to love better.
The book is divided into 9 chapters. In the first chapter we are introduced to how spiritual disciplines can lead us to love and think about our neighbors. From Chapter 2 to 8, we are presented with a series of disciplines that will confront us. Chapter 9 is an exhortation to show love in a world filled with chaos.
Who is the author?
Kyle David Bennett (PhD, Fuller Theological Seminary) is assistant professor of philosophy at Caldwell University in Caldwell, New Jersey, where he also directs the Spirituality and Leadership Institute, a think tank and training center that focuses on spiritual formation and citizenship in North American democratic society. He has taught at Azusa Pacific University, Providence Christian College, and The King's College.
Personally I enjoyed it, but I was a little tired due to the repetitions of ideas in all the chapters. But it is a good book, which encourages us to love in an age where egoism is everything.
Thanks to Baker Academic for the electronic copy of the book for review
What is this book about?
Everything turns on how our spirituality is not only about God but also about our neighbor.
Many of us think that all we need is to have good fellowship with God but ignore or despise our neighbor. And that needs to be corrected. This book encourages and provides us with ideas on how to love better.
The book is divided into 9 chapters. In the first chapter we are introduced to how spiritual disciplines can lead us to love and think about our neighbors. From Chapter 2 to 8, we are presented with a series of disciplines that will confront us. Chapter 9 is an exhortation to show love in a world filled with chaos.
Who is the author?
Kyle David Bennett (PhD, Fuller Theological Seminary) is assistant professor of philosophy at Caldwell University in Caldwell, New Jersey, where he also directs the Spirituality and Leadership Institute, a think tank and training center that focuses on spiritual formation and citizenship in North American democratic society. He has taught at Azusa Pacific University, Providence Christian College, and The King's College.
Personally I enjoyed it, but I was a little tired due to the repetitions of ideas in all the chapters. But it is a good book, which encourages us to love in an age where egoism is everything.
Thanks to Baker Academic for the electronic copy of the book for review
April 3, 2018
My rating of this book is based on the fact that between the title and the synopsis of the book, I had completely different expectations for the it. I believed it was going to have some new reality on spiritual disciplines that I might have missed. Instead every chapter was basically we give up or should look at and do this discipline differently for our neighbors. Most of the book could have been summed up in the following way: love your neighbor as yourself, treat others the way you want to be treated, and God wants us to have these disciplines mainly to serve other people not necessarily draw us closer to him. I fully support serving and loving others as we are told by Jesus, but I didn’t agree with the author’s thought on disciplines being mainly for that purpose. I believe that spiritual disciplines are meant to draw us closer to God. The fruit from practicing these disciplines and from the relationship that is grown between us and the Lord will in fact help us grow closer and more aware of our neighbor and how to serve them. I felt that the author at times was trying to redefine certain terms to make them fit into his theory of things. I would not recommend this book.
April 6, 2018
I enjoy reading about the spiritual disciplines. I was excited to open this book, which was recommended by a friend who is a pastor.
Overall a good review, albeit an overstated one, of the lateral implications of the spiritual disciplines. Which although is no new concept, is definitely not highlighted as a stand alone subject very often.
While the author is obviously well versed on the subject, he at times suffocates the reader with reiterations of the same concept already stated. Perhaps a bit of frugality with words or “simplicity” could’ve been achieved via better editing?
Additionally, the writing style appears to be focused at younger adults/college students, which isn’t a bad thing, just surprising, and a little bit disappointing seeing as James KA Smith’s forward puts this book in line with the works of Dallas Willard and Richard Foster.
All in all not a bad read. But a bit underwhelming.
Overall a good review, albeit an overstated one, of the lateral implications of the spiritual disciplines. Which although is no new concept, is definitely not highlighted as a stand alone subject very often.
While the author is obviously well versed on the subject, he at times suffocates the reader with reiterations of the same concept already stated. Perhaps a bit of frugality with words or “simplicity” could’ve been achieved via better editing?
Additionally, the writing style appears to be focused at younger adults/college students, which isn’t a bad thing, just surprising, and a little bit disappointing seeing as James KA Smith’s forward puts this book in line with the works of Dallas Willard and Richard Foster.
All in all not a bad read. But a bit underwhelming.
September 28, 2017
Most books on spiritual disciplines focus on how the discipline help enrich your life with God (what you might call the vertical dimension). In "Practices of Love" Kyle Bennett attempts to show the "horizontal dimension" to the disciplines - how they shape you to love your neighbor and make a difference for the common good.
The chapters are a little uneven, but I think the book is mostly successful. The prayers and application ideas at the end of each chapter are magnificent, and chapters six and seven (on silence and service) add some new ideas to the conversation. My hope is that future books on the spiritual discipline will improve on this idea still more, that there is a very public dimension to the practice of spiritual disciplines.
The chapters are a little uneven, but I think the book is mostly successful. The prayers and application ideas at the end of each chapter are magnificent, and chapters six and seven (on silence and service) add some new ideas to the conversation. My hope is that future books on the spiritual discipline will improve on this idea still more, that there is a very public dimension to the practice of spiritual disciplines.
February 9, 2018
I appreciated two things about this book.
1. The main thesis is that spiritual disciplines are not just vertical but horizontal, meaning not just for God but for our neighbors.
2. Putting the spiritual disciples as two sides of the same coin: speaking/keeping silent, fasting/feasting, simplicity/renewed owning, etc.
If you are looking for a good book to read to help you understand the spiritual disciplines have legs in the world, this is your book. Also, it'd be great to do with small groups.
1. The main thesis is that spiritual disciplines are not just vertical but horizontal, meaning not just for God but for our neighbors.
2. Putting the spiritual disciples as two sides of the same coin: speaking/keeping silent, fasting/feasting, simplicity/renewed owning, etc.
If you are looking for a good book to read to help you understand the spiritual disciplines have legs in the world, this is your book. Also, it'd be great to do with small groups.
August 3, 2018
Great premise, but could have been done in a short article--no need for a whole book. The idea is that spiritual disciplines are not just for ourselves, not just for nicer Jesus-and-me times--they ought to have fruit in the way we minister to and love others. For example, the discipline of silence should carry over into relationships, making us better listeners. Get it? There. Now you don't need to read the book.
September 19, 2017
Really helpful way of thinking about spiritual disciplines. We often lose track of the horizontal nature of the disciplines and I think we do indeed lose out when we do so. The book was relatively small and easy to read. I probably could have done with a bit more. But I'd certainly recommend it to anyone interested in the topic. Good read.
February 11, 2019
Good book but nothing too new. Bennett explores the horizontal dimension of different spiritual practices and takes time to wrestle with the implications of these disciplines impacts our neighbour. It was quite repetitive and much of his synopsis paragraphs were all that he needed in some points but overall the ideas were great. Gave me a lot to think about...
July 11, 2019
Overall I found the idea of practicing Christian spiritual disciplines for not only personal spiritual growth, but in a manner that loves your neighbor and encourages their spiritual growth new and compelling. The other take-away is that spiritual disciplines should be incorporated into the Christian’s daily life not just for a season.
I found the author’s applications lacking and shallow.
I found the author’s applications lacking and shallow.
February 5, 2020
There were good things in this book, but it was frustrating to read.I didn't care for the writing style or the author's assumptions. He always came from the worst case scenario. I felt like it would have been better if it talked about heart change instead of how to change my outer behavior. Just ok.
August 7, 2018
This book had an amazing premise - one that really excites me and that I want to get behind in my everyday life - but it was very hard to get through. It was very long-winded and repetitive. A crisper writing style would have made this a much more enjoyable read.
June 1, 2019
While the meat and the big ideas of this book are in the first few chapters, the suggestions and thoughts at the end of each chapter make it worth keeping it handy to remind yourself how to live out the disciplines in daily life, not separately!
May 16, 2023
“Our personal holiness is inseparable from interpersonal harmony (Gal. 5:14). Our acts of worship are inseparable from our acts of love.”
The practices of this book are helpful and important, but the author plays fast and loose with redefinitions and overstatements.
The practices of this book are helpful and important, but the author plays fast and loose with redefinitions and overstatements.
September 16, 2017
A book on the horizontal dimensions of the spiritual disciplines—simplicity, meditation, fasting and feasting, solitude, silence, service, and Sabbath keeping. Good read!
December 13, 2018
I like the idea of the book - but it lacked a little depth for me. I think some of the points were stretched.
Good for a read to push on some ideas and bring imagination for others.
Good for a read to push on some ideas and bring imagination for others.
December 25, 2019
This book offered a different perspective on spiritual disciplines. With a perspective on how we live and how we live others. Practical application can be found at the end of each chapter.
February 11, 2020
Not good.
April 11, 2020
Incredibly insightful, practical, and challenging! Every Christian ought to read this one!
August 24, 2022
Such a great concept but the ideas are not well flushed out and at times it felt like there was zero editing done to the book.
September 5, 2023
I felt like Bennett pressed the application to loving others in a way that was helpful & insightful at times and at other times it seemed like he pressed the point in a way that was a stretch.
November 30, 2023
Nice framing of the disciplines as loving others
November 21, 2024
I probably would not have finished this book if it wasn’t required reading for a course. As others have stated - I was excited for the premise, couldn’t cope with the writing.
November 13, 2017
If we’re honest, most of us have grown up understanding the spiritual disciplines of prayer, fasting, solitude, silence, and rest (among others) as practices designed primarily to sanctify us as individuals, which, in turn, honors God. But as Bennett argues, the “vertical” aspect of the practices is only half the equation.
In this book, Bennett invites us to view the spiritual disciplines “from the side,” to consider anew the “horizontal” dimension of these practices. In each chapter, he considers the ways our practices become malformed and examines the ways these disciplines, rightly practiced, can renew us – as well as our neighbors and our world.
Fortunately, Bennett doesn’t peddle in guilt. Nor does he waste our time with formulas and empty promises. Even better, while the author has bona fide scholastic chops and could safely engage these issues from lofty heights, he comes at it like a fellow pilgrim, a fellow stumbler, simul justus et peccator.
Full review at http://timhoiland.com/2017/10/practic...
In this book, Bennett invites us to view the spiritual disciplines “from the side,” to consider anew the “horizontal” dimension of these practices. In each chapter, he considers the ways our practices become malformed and examines the ways these disciplines, rightly practiced, can renew us – as well as our neighbors and our world.
Fortunately, Bennett doesn’t peddle in guilt. Nor does he waste our time with formulas and empty promises. Even better, while the author has bona fide scholastic chops and could safely engage these issues from lofty heights, he comes at it like a fellow pilgrim, a fellow stumbler, simul justus et peccator.
Full review at http://timhoiland.com/2017/10/practic...
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September 15, 2017Intriguing discussion of the spiritual disciplines. Where most books focus on the love of God aspect of the disciplines, Bennett examines how practice of the disciplines promotes love of neighbor. Some new ways of thinking that I need some time to chew on.
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