The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls

by Emilie Autumn

Two young women, living centuries apart, both accused of madness, communicate across time to fight a common enemy... their doctors.

"It was the dog who found me."

Such is the stark confession launching the harrowing scene that begins The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls as Emilie Autumn, a young musician on the verge of a bright career, attempts suicide by overdosing on the antipsychotics prescribed to treat her bipolar disorder. Upon being discovered, Emilie is revived and immediately incarcerated in a maximum-security psych ward, despite her protestations that she is not crazy, and can provide valid reasons for her actions if someone would only listen.

Treated as a criminal, heavily medicated, and stripped of all freedoms, Emilie is denied communication with the outside world, and falls prey to the unwelcome attentions of Dr. Sharp, head of the hospital's psychiatry department. As Dr. Sharp grows more predatory by the day, Emilie begins a secret diary to document her terrifying experience, and to maintain her sanity in this environment that could surely drive anyone mad. But when Emilie opens her notebook to find a desperate letter from a young woman imprisoned within an insane asylum in Victorian England, and bearing her own name and description, a portal to another world is blasted wide open.

As these letters from the past continue to appear, Emilie escapes further into this mysterious alternate reality where sisterhoods are formed, romance between female inmates blossoms, striped wallpaper writhes with ghosts, and highly intellectual rats speak the Queen's English.

But is it real? Or is Emilie truly as mad as she is constantly told she is?

The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls blurs harsh reality and magical historical fantasy whilst issuing a scathing critique of society's treatment of women and the mental health care industry's treatment of its patients, showing in the process that little has changed throughout the ages.

Welcome to the Asylum. Are you committed?

Genres: Horror, Fiction, Fantasy, Mental Health, Historical Fiction, Psychology, Mental Illness

392 pages, Paperback

First published December 15, 2009

About the author

Emilie Autumn grew up by the sea in California where she mastered the classical violin before going on to travel the world as a singing theatrical performer and author. Globally known for her genre-bending album Fight Like A Girl, Emilie has also appeared as an actress, starring in Darren Lynn Bousman's musical fantasy films The Devil's Carnival and Alleluia! The Devil's Carnival.

Emilie’s academic career ended abruptly at the age of ten when she was removed from school to allow her the time to perfect her musical craft, yet, despite her near-complete absence of formal education, her debut self-published novel (the early editions of The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls) seems to demonstrate some understanding of proper spelling and grammar, and has been cited in text-books used as part of the psychology curriculum at Oxford University in London.

Upon the release of her 2007 Shakespearean-themed concept album, Opheliac, Emilie found herself an overnight star in Germany's industrial rock scene, and began touring extensively. With her Victorian burlesque-themed stage show and signature heart painted on her cheek (a unifying symbol devotedly replicated by her international fan base known as "Plague Rats"), Emilie fast became a sensation throughout Europe and the United Kingdom before touring in America, South America, North America, and Russia.

Diagnosed first with major depression in her early 20s and later with bipolar disorder, Emilie’s first novel (The Asylum…) was culled from the very real pages of the secret journal she kept whilst incarcerated in a mental hospital. She hopes that her future writings will not require such dramatic circumstances in order to be published.

Since its fully-illustrated first edition hardcover release in 2008, The Asylum... continues to increase in popularity as Plague Rats around the globe cover themselves in tattoos from its elaborate art, cosplay as its eccentric characters (both human and animal), write their own fan-fiction, put on their own stage plays taking place in the "Asylum" world, arrange group tea party meet-ups, and incorporate Emilie's story into their own lives in virtually every imaginable way, beginning with the knowledge that what makes them different makes them magical and ought to be celebrated, not concealed.

Emilie is presently composing and developing the Broadway musical and film versions of The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls. To follow her progress, join her on Twitter as @emilieautumn, on Instagram and Facebook as @emilieautumnofficial, and at her websites www.emilieautumn.com, www.theasylumforwaywardvictoriangirls..., and www.theasylumemporium.com.

Reviews

[Janny · Rating 1 out of 5]

Before anyone jumps down my throat, let me just begin by saying that I'll provide quotes from the book just to show that I'm not talking out of my ass here. Ready? Okay.

This book makes me so, so angry. As both a psych student and someone who was diagnosed with depression, I dived into this book expecting a riveting tale, an account of what goes on into a mental institution. But what I found was a story riddled with misinformation, exaggeration, and all round pretentiousness. And yes, I'm aware that this isn't technically an autobiography. (But then why is it labeled as such, even by the author herself? To grab attention, something EA seems to love to eat up by the spoonful.)

The start was actually sort of interesting. It details how the author/character ended up institutionalized, but I knew something was up the second she ended a paragraph about security in the asylum by describing what she was dressed with. The relevance of her (forever mentioned) stockings? None.

But that's when I realized our dear author/character had an obsession. With herself. Why do I say this? Let me counts thy ways:

- She mentions her goddamn stockings almost every chapter. She can hang herself with them any yet the nurses let her wear them? What's that about? Surely the nurses who made sure to take everything potentially harmful from her would know better than to leave her those stockings. I smell a lie.

- She says the following: "telling the whole story never helps; it only confuses the brilliant minds in charge of this health of mine." So our dear character thinks herself above trained professionals. Narcissistic much?

- 26 pages (!) are spent on drawings/writings with a crayon and describing how a creepy doctor hits on her. The reason she fails to report him? I have no goddamn idea. She says she was raped in the past, for god's sake, so why the hell doesn't she do anything about it?! I have a sneaking suspicion it's because she just likes the attention. Because why else would she purposefully engage him in conversation instead of ignore or report him?

- She says - and I am not kidding you, this is actually in the book: "it's possible that I'm becoming accustomed to being insane that I'm doing it prettily and with style."

And there it is folks, the milking of the disease for the sake of looking pretty and stylish. Nice. What a great middle finger to everyone out there who's actually sick.

- A few pages after this she placed a pic of her modelling a shirt that says "Lithium Chick". Again, what a way to milk a mental disease.

- One entire page is just three locks of pink hair. I'm not even sure what to say about this, except WTF was she thinking? People pay for this book. They spend money on this thing, and they expected writing, not wannabe artsy pictures.

- Did I mention that the book is filled with pictures of herself? With stuff like "boys + heart = scissors". Jesus, is she 12 years old?

And then there's the misinformation and just plain stupidity. She considers the people working in the institution as, and I quote directly from the book, "captors". She's the one who admitted herself to the ward, being fully aware of what that entails. But the second she can't get her way, it's name-calling and brooding. She actually says this: "I consider stabbing myself in the neck with my pen just to get revenge", when she's offered to write on sheets of paper instead of her spiral notebook. Jesus Christ.

She also says this: "as an asexual" Ummm... really? She admitted plenty of times in the book that she had lovers and had sex, and that makes an asexual not. Not even close.

"[electroshock therapy ] is not pretty, they say. It's not even humane." Who? Who told her this absolute stupidly? ECT is relatively painless (they numb you up before the procedure) and has helped countless of people who suffer from depression or bipolar disorder.

This whole book is full of rambles, paragraphs that are big as half the page that go absolutely nowhere. It's basically just the account of a narcissistic woman who sounds like the only thing that upsets her is that in the psych ward she's treated like a normal person and not this star she imagines herself to be.

And I know the other half is also that story with "the other Emily", but let's be honest. That's even dumber that the main focus of the book. I wish I could give this clusterfuck of a book half a star, because it's just a giant mess.

[Rose · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is ridiculous. Not even in a good way. I will give you a blow-by-blow summary, but first, a taste! The book is filled with the somewhat edited ramblings of a drama queen. When she voluntarily checks herself into the hospital, she expected something along the lines of this:



Instead, she got:

“Please fill out this form!”


When she didn’t receive the grand fanfare she anticipated, she threw a fit and wrote a crappy book about it. Then there’s some crap about Alice in Wonderland and some other chick and bull and you know what, I need to exorcise this demon. Here comes the full summary with my smart ass comments. Enjoy… hopefully more than Emilie enjoyed her hospital stay and more than I enjoyed this book. You want to have more fun with this book? Play a drinking game:

1) Every time she says "stockings" or "crayon"
2) She says something arrogant
3) Uses a homophone incorrectly
4) Says something sexist
5) Uses a British-ism



Already off to a great start. Wrong "forward."

A few pages in and I'm already confused. I think it might be due to poor writing. For one, there are several type-o's and confusing sentence structures and references. For example, "Of the few friends I have ever divulged this story to, most have suggested….” It’s just a mess of prepositions, really. I think she does it to sound fanc-ayyy. Then we have her saying that she speaks the Queen’s English, but she wasn’t educated in Britain. It states so clearly on her “About the Author” that she was born in LA. Also, we have some sort of literary device that she was related to Alice Liddell? Highly doubtful. It sounded completely fabricated to add to the “I’m English,” “I’m crazy,” and “I’m special” vibe I was starting to get.

Now, let me move onto her conversation with her shrink. She claims she had a rational reason for committing suicide and everyone else is being ridiculous. Still, she tells her shrink, and then is shocked when she’s told she needs to go to a hospital immediately. But then she goes to an institution that she received from a suicide hotline? The shrink didn’t help her find a hospital? I guess he just said, “Get thee to a nuthouse” and hung up. She then complains about filing paperwork at the new hospital, which should be no shocker to anyone who’s mentally ill… or physically ill, period. Everyone who has been checked for a mental disorder has probably gotten The Sheet. Mine was a magic marker checklist, you do it every time you go in for a mental tune-up. She continues to lament that she wished she’d died, but checks into the hospital OF HER OWN ACCORD because she wanted to get her medication. But if you really wanted to die, why would medication be an issue? So does she want to commit suicide? Or does she want help? Does she not know what she wants? Is this all part of the story or is it bad writing? The world may never know.

Inside the doctor’s room, she goes on a random tirade about how she doesn’t sit at the edge of the room because the room is like a dark street at night and full of rapists. And you’re more likely to get raped than hit by a car so she walks in the middle of the street. Or something like that. This is completely random and makes no sense, but luckily never addressed again as a nurse returns to pick up her paperwork. Emilie freaks out a little at this point because there’s a police officer standing somewhere in the vicinity. I guess they don’t have those in LA.

The next section is the official check-in, where security goes through her things. There’s an odd detail about Emilie wondering if she’ll regret checking herself in because of a sign that says “Everyone needs to check in with security if they are to use the restroom.” Something tells me Emilie didn’t do well in high school if that’s what she’s worrying about. Though I like her sarcasm, she acts like not getting to keep her pens (which you can use as a weapon) or her clothes (ur inna hospital gurl, its scrub chic ‘round here) was POOPY AND DEGRADING. Also, she says she was allowed to keep her stockings. Her knee-high stockings. I doubt this highly. If they took her other shit, they would take this because you can make a damn noose out of these babies. Whatever, she’s in this place for like 72 hours at least. Let’s see, 72 divided by 24, that’s three days. It’ll be okay. I’ve been detained at airports for longer than that. You’d think this girl has been sent to a frickin gulag the way she screams and bitches for a book and how she complains about the lights and screaming patients and whatnot.

So settle down and start learning some Russian. We are now entering the Nuthouse Gulag.



Eventually she gets a red crayon, nearly pisses herself in excitement, complains about the manliness of the guards outside her room (I’m not even joking), and has moment of self-awareness about how ridiculous she’s being. It’s there for a paragraph and……. Oh, now it’s gone.

She’s told that the hospital is overcrowded (I’ll let you in on a little secret: they all are). And then whines, “But I was told it was 72 hours exactly! You’re keeping me here under false pretenses!” This is where the editors of a reality TV show would cut to her conversation with her shrink, who clear as day, states AT LEAST 72 hours. The doctor seems pretty damn reasonable, all things considering. There’s no room! What’s he going to do? Boot someone from their bed? He leaves without falling for Emilie’s bullshit, much to my relief.

The next segment is Emilie describing the building and people in it. I do like her sense of humor when it’s directed in the correct direction, like the rope to call the nurse; otherwise, it just looks stupid. Her humor falls flat when other patients get involved because see, they are the TRUE crazy ones! That’s how she refers to a patient with drug addiction, “truly crazy.” Shit you not. She continues to insult the poor woman by calling her “Miss Nuttersby” and making a snide comment that she “…[suspects] that Miss Nuttersby is not clever enough to produce sarcasm.” And Emilie would know, she has a PhD in sarcasm! So clever! Such intelligence! The nicknames for the poor woman continue: Duchess von Nutsberg, Her Nutsness, Queen of Nutsland, Nutscracker, President of Nut o’ the Month Club, and Mayor of Cracktown. But, wait! Now’s a good time to remind the audience that Emilie is an advocate for mental illness awareness and patient rights.

Now enter Dr. Sharpie! Or Sharpe, whatever. If that’s your real name…. It’s most likely not and made up just like her last name, “Liddell.” It’s like the “Bella Swan” of doctor names, sheesh. She thinks him making a joke about insanity, (based on her joke, mind you) was “crossing the line.” Okay, whatever. Then she immediately makes an assumption based on his body posture that he’s hitting on her. It all sounded like a doctor who was awkwardly attempting bedside manner and making a few jokes based on what SHE said. Even, if he was attracted to her, he never really did anything wrong.

The Paperclip: Emilie is transferred to a different prison camp, and in order to construct a shiv to stab the Gestapo guard, grabs a paperclip on the floor. She keeps it hidden in her room. See, Emilie, this was why the nurses raided your room earlier. You mocked them, and only to prove their point later. I’m not talking about this anymore because it’s boring as hell.

At last, Emilie is transferred to a ward, or as she calls it, the ward for “honest-to-god lunatics.” Our champion, ladies and gentlemen. I wonder why she doesn't have any friends? Dr. Sharpie tries to be nice and gives her a book. She immediately thinks she’s being hit on. Just accept the damn book so you can shut the fuck up about paperclips and being bored.

EVIL DOCTOR SHARPIE makes sure Emilie's transfer goes well after she's moved upstairs. THE NERVE OF THAT BASTARD. He asks if she's only in the hospital to write a book, which makes Emilie extremely offended. Oh, the irony.

Dr. Sharpie suggests to Emilie that she may also have borderline personality disorder, which, based on this book, seems very possible. Some of her comments about her family and friends suggest she has a “my way or highway” approach to relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure she’s had some crappy friends, but all of them? All of them? Honestly, it seemed like Dr. Sharpie was right on point. Everything that has happened, especially Dr. Sharpie’s perceived behavior, stems from Emilie’s victim glasses. Everyone and everything is against her and wants her to suffer. Everything... and I mean EVERYTHING.... must be about her, and if it's not, she throws a temper tantrum. She's like Augustus Gloop when you take away his chocolate, hot damn. I’m sure this is due to trauma, but again, it sounds like Dr. Sharpe was right, yet again.

Speaking of Augustus Gloop, let's take moment to talk about her meals and diet. She talks about her food and diet like my diabetic grandpa. I do think it sucks that she was given food that didn’t correspond to her vegan diet, but she never told anyone. She bitches and bitches about the food which sounded like typical cafeteria food. Again, how did this girl survive high school? She’s acting like she’s been served black bread and fish bone broth.

Since she didn't eat anything, the nurses were worried she was anorexic. Seems reasonable, right? Nope! She flies off the handle about how people don't understand skinny people and judge her. Meanwhile, she called her counselor "morbidly obese" and "rotund." Everyone is a liar and jerk before she even meets them. She looks at their clothes and passes immediate judgement. It's such bullshit, it'll make you cry.

So I left off with Emilie being moved to the “Psych Ward,” which she thinks is a derogatory term? I’d rather them call it “Psych Ward” then “Rainbow Road” or something like that. And much to her shock…. DUN DUN DUN…. It’s a co-ed hospital. And she is left vulnerable and unprotected! Minus the powerful industrial doors, the security guards, her own quarters, and staff escorts, she is extremely, highly probably, most likely gonna die.

It is in the co-ed section where she transforms into our straw feminist. She goes on a man-hating rant which is so freakin astonishing with its blatant prejudice that I had to take a drink. That’s one small step backward for womenkind, one small step backward for humankind, and one large step forward for the MRA’s on Reddit.

Sharpie visits her again, and he is absolutely convinced that she is there to research a book. OH HAHA. Emilie, do you really not realize what you’re confirming?! She thinks that he’s hitting on her, but he’s obviously trying to see if she is, in fact, in need of their services. He probably thinks of it like a game. Catch-a-Mole. They probably get one of these Pulitzer wannabes once a week.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong for I have no experience drinking hydrogen peroxide, but wouldn’t that burn? Like… a lot? I got a dilute concentration on the back of my neck once and it felt like I got sunburned. So how is she talking? How is she SINGING?

Another man comes to introduce himself to her (WATCH OUT, EMILIE, THAT MAN HAS A PENIS!!!!) and she immediately pegs him as a poseur, points out to the reader that he is ROTUND, and condemns him for asking questions to help her. It’s “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” with Emilie. Seriously, this man comes in, asks your standard questions (“How long have you had depression?” etc.) and she thinks, “…He is… woefully underqualified for the task of dissecting a mind such as mine, or anyone’s really…” WOW. Just wow.


Echo…echo…

The next day, Emilie asks the nurse for her notebook. Then we have this lovely gem:



Inside her notebook she finds a weathered piece of parchment with handwriting that is so difficult to read that I strained my eyes trying to make it out. I mean, look at this! It’s like trying to watch a 3D movie when you take your glasses off!



And it’s all babble. In fact, I think it’s all one, long, run-on sentence with more splices than Frankenstein’s monster. She rambles about sugar and breaking sugar down into each element, and then she says that sugar contains acid? This is sucrose:



Those are alcohol groups… Those little OH’s are alcohols. As in “OH, I was wrong about it being an acid.” And alcohol is not an element, it’s a functional group?? Whatever. The letter is really unimportant because it’s stupid.

It’s dinnertime and Emilie’s misanthropy and prejudice rears its ugly head (yet again!). She calls a troubled, young man “a rapist-in-training.” He hasn’t done anything to get this title, other than being mentally ill and eating yogurt. Another man (who she describes as having an “overly developed body”… like he’s a photograph or something) smashes a guitar, which Emilie wonders why he has in the first place. I don’t know, probably the same reason why you get to keep your stockings.

She continues to talk about the other patients: how their families have left them for good and how they aren’t receiving the proper care that they need. It affects her personally… no really, she somehow manages to turn their pain into her own. When I read this part, it was almost comical. I thought she would have a moment of realization that others had it worse than her… NOPE! It became about her again.

Annnd I'm done. I can't put up with this narcissistic babble any longer. I would play her a sad song on my violin, but it seems she's already beaten me to it. I'm outtie.

[Ashley Rieflin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would like to say that I was unable to relate to most of Emilie Autumn's harrowing tale of the time she spent in a mental institution for trying to kill herself and the parallel story that she created about a young girl in the Victorian era who was also sent to a mental institution. I would like to say that I never thought of killing myself. I would like to say that I never attempted to kill myself before. On most days I forget that the event ever happened. I have masterfully convinced myself that every moment of that summer was a dream, and that I am not that girl (and I was never that girl) and that it was just another story in my mind that felt real. Real and painful but in the end, just make believe. Like magic. Like faeries. Just another thing I made up but then began to believe in.

But I cannot make Drew forget about it. I cannot make my parents forget about it. That summer was more real to them then it was to me. I spent it in a drugged sleep. They spent it in a nightmare reality. There are emotions they felt they I have never witnessed. I heard that when I was in the emergency room my father had a crazed temper tantrum in the waiting room. I have never once seen my father lose his temper. I didn't see it then. But Drew was forced to see it.

"Depression is a rather rude houseguest; Depression rarely calls ahead to see if it's a good time, and Depression never arrives alone. It brings it friends: Despair, Self-Injury and Suicide. Depression is the invisible plague."

In the end I was lucky because I was not committed to a mental hospital. I swallowed a jar of Ibuprofen and was sent to a psychiatrist who I was able to convince of my sanity so quickly that after a half hour long session he did not ask to see me again. After a life as a child of divorced parents, a victim of abuse, and a troubled teen (I once wrote a death note to one of my classmates, I got into numerous fist fights in high school, and I have violently kicked in lockers and thrown desks) I have only seen a psychiatrist twice. Does that make me angry? Do I wish I had received more attention? I had severe depression for two years--years where I would sleep for eighteen hours a day and cry at every waking second, and I had no one to talk to. No one wanted to talk to me. No one thought I needed help. They just considered my behavior as a sign of lazy rebelliousness. I was "acting out". In a drunken speech a few months ago, I brought up my suicide attempt to my mother and she began to cry. "You were reaching out to me," she said. But I wasn't. I am not mad that I did not receive more attention because that would mean that I had only ever cut myself or tried to kill myself to GAIN attention. And I did not.

"Nothing in my life has ever made me want to commit suicide more than people's reaction to my trying to commit suicide".

Besides, I was able to cure myself wasn't I? The Cure. That invisible spectrum that haunts the dreams of every poor soul that ever once thought of inflicting damage upon themselves in order to drown the voices in their head--to be normal. Just once. Depression and suicide may sound romantic to a person standing on the outside looking in, and don't try deny it because you know it does, but I would never even wish such an emotion upon my evilest characters.

I cured myself. Or at least, was able to help myself forget, through my writing. I wrote the demons and I told my story and I vomited worlds of darkness and suffering onto paper and onto computer screens. Some of these worlds I shared with others while others I kept locked away.

"I'm not stupid. I know exactly what's going on, and I'm not fighting it. If I have to go through this, I will glean from it any small benefit I can receive. I will not fight this. Bring it on. Bring on the cure. Bring on the fucking happy. I'm committed."

In a way, that is what Emilie did with this book. It is a hard book to read. The fictional parts are dramatized to make them sound more horrific than they historically were and the accounts from Emilie's own experience are even more numbing because you know that they are not make believe. But I can sympathize with her desire to make the parallel, fictional story as bloody as possible--because that is what your mind sees when you are plummeting through despair: just endless grotesque scenes that would shake the heart of any sane person, but for you is as normal as the sun rising. I know that my mind was and is still plagued by the most horrible thoughts. But what is even worse is that I cannot actually see why they are horrifying. I have had people read my stories only for them to freak out. I've had my sister call my father in a horrible panic, I've had my mother cry because of something that I've written down, and I never once thought that what I had written might have been something bad.

Reading The Asylum for Wayward Victorian girls has caused all these old memories and thoughts to surface, and no, that is not exactly a good thing. The first time I was ever able to write about my suicide attempt was two months ago, I think I'm beginning to come to terms with it.

Many people are writing about how hard it was for them to read some of the scenes in the book, and how it made them cry. I read it with a certain amount of morbid fascination and admiration (for Emilie's writing style). I did not cry once. I did not even think of crying. I know that facing the demons is a good, positive thing. And that is what Emilie did. With this book she faced her demons. It may be a hard read for some people who do not like to read about suffering and pain. If you like to keep your library filled with positive, happy literature than do not even attempt to open this book. It does contain within it endless sources of truth--the truth of what it means to love, to hate, to suffer, and to believe in the power of your own creation to lead you out of the darkness. The human mind is an abandoned house that must be filled with your own riches--whether that house be a place of love and warmth, or whether it is an asylum.

[Zarena · Rating 1 out of 5]

I used to be a huge fan of Emilie until I saw her live and witnessed her performing a song called "Manatee retard" which mocked mentally handicapped people. I found this odd coming from someone "famously bipolar."

A family member surprised me with this book for Christmas thinking I was still a fan. I feel bad because they emphasized on how expensive it was. So I looked through it. Not surprised in the least - I found content discriminating those with mental disabilities, still I'm stunned as Emilie's story speaks of her experiences with bipolar disorder, which I'm still questioning as to whether is just a stage persona; I'm not trying to be mean here but it seems her actions are always contradictory to what she claims to be representing.

I don't understand why someone with this condition would poke fun at others in the same situation whatever their diagnosis? It's disgusting. For example in the book there is fun poked at schizophrenia - I wasn't laughing. Also really for 72 hours she endured this much? I'm not convinced, it seems exaggerated for salable reasons. I've read journals of many who've stayed in much longer who didn't experience half as much nor did their experiences seem so much like a Hollywood screenplay intended for a horror, is this what I just read? Some fictional screenplay for a future project because it feels that way.

I guess this is why the author has rewrote this book and republished it on so many occasions, because they realised just as I did that it was terrible. Including a new - completely rewritten - edition on the way. Maybe she will remove the nonsense about apparently being related to Alice in wonderland too. It's so far fetched it's hard to be convinced by the autobiography side to be honest.

Which makes me feel bad because I don't want to point fingers or cry "fraud" or "fictitious illness" like some reviewers here have but it's how I've been left feeling too. Shame because she has an intriguing quality about her. Also as a larger lady, I didn't like how she "fat shamed" and poked fun at the weight issue with one of the nurses in the book when she was talking of being accused of having an eating disorder, contradictory again.

After swallowing hydrogen peroxide how did she manage to not have any physical side effects??? Also the medication she talks of is specifically prescribed because they're not lethal enough to kill, and, why did she not suffer some side effects from ingesting so many??? I got really baffled here because she didn't even need a physical exam by a GP or a hospital she just sought her therapist? Then volunteered herself to a "mental" hospital.

Approaching Emily with a y story but not sure I will continue reading, honestly, I'm bored.

[Hilary Lowell · Rating 1 out of 5]

The Asylum For Wayward Victorian girls is an autobiographical / psychological thriller with an intriguing title that depicts, at first, the autobiographical modern tale of the authors brief stay in a mental institution. Narrated throughout by the author, Emilie, a self-invented (highly conceited but in small doses likeable) American McGee's Alice. This was the only story I cared for and the only reason I made my purchase, I have often been fascinated by what goes on within the creative mind of this unapologetic and at times discourteous artist, so when this was available at a price I could afford I made my purchase in hopes to discover more about the author and why their behaviour is how it is.

The first event of the psychological journal, that is presented in the form of a Neo-Victorian scrapbook, is when the character of Emilie (based on the Author) is interrupted during the process of attempting to commit suicide. Through the ever common and poignant farewell of drug overdosing, which is typically critical if ingested with alcohol or illegal drugs, though not completely reliable.

A most lethal method of overdose which is not described by the author would be barbiturates, which were oft prescribed years ago for sleep (due to insomnia etc), though now are rarely prescribed, and extremely difficult to obtain. Seconal (Secobarbital) and Nembutal (Pentobarbital) are the two of the greatly effective barbiturates for a quick painless death, which would never be prescribed to a patient with depressive disorders that indicate planning or tendencies regarding suicide. Emilie being one of these patients, in the modern 2000's would have had something similar to benzodiazepines (for anxiety and) to treat insomnia, and which can be taken with other medications depending on patient need (Zoloft etc), usually prescribed by therapists to those with suicidal tendencies due to benzodiazepines being lesser danger when it comes to risk of overdose.

The suicide attempt is prevented by the roomie who encourages Emilie to vomit the pills through the method of Hydrogen Peroxide ingestation. Emilie would have had small side effects (including slight risk of hydrogen peroxide poisoning due to it being an oxidising agent), and the side effects alongside vomiting may cause irritation of the gastrointestinal tract with the nausea and vomiting, haematemesis and foaming at the mouth; the foam may obstruct the respiratory tract or result in pulmonary aspiration. Though the method of hydrogen peroxide to vomit the sleeping pills may have incurred, Emilie would have had slight side effects such as painful gastric distension or belching caused by the liberation of large volumes of oxygen in the stomach, particularly if hydrogen peroxide is swallowed.

The character who doesn't even need a general (not psychiatric) hospital visit to what would be an accident and emergency unit,after the occurance, reports straight to her therapist, with no blistering of the mucosae and oropharyngeal burns which are common following ingestion of concentrated solutions. At least coughing and transient dyspnoea, a form of laboured breathing which the onset of should not be ignored; medical attention should be sought / would be present. If the character of Emilie inhaled a highly concentrated solution of hydrogen peroxide she would have experienced the cause of severe irritation and inflammation of mucous membranes, with coughing and dyspnoea. I did find it odd that after recollecting the event with her therapist, she is only warned that he will summon an ambulance and send her to hospital, if she reports to the office for her appointment but makes no suggestion of her going to be physically examined for the after effects of hydrogen peroxide into the throat (immensely odd) or immediately being mandatory sent under involuntary to a mental health facility.

Also subsequent to the event of swallowing a concentrated solution and attempting suicide, she does not go to seek an evaluation, and is (apparently)not immediately sent to seek psychiatric aid. Though as said, makes the choice to just verbally share the experience with her therapist. The genuinity of her experience began to fall apart (in my opinion) when Emilie is after some time, though not immediate despite the description of the severity of the event, alleged to legally be obliged to undergo a voluntary seventy-two our stay under suicide watch, which is typically for involuntary patients placed under an intensive monitoring process as a result of them exhibiting warning signs indicating that they may be at risk of committing bodily harm or fatal self injury.

As voluntary, Emilie, unlike these patients would have been allowed to leave at any time. It may be that she underwent periodic suicide watch, which would have seen her monitored through frequent periodic checks instead of the intense suicide watch, where an involuntary patient would be chronically observed, including with a member of staff present. Though it is not probable considering the arrogant narrator (and character of Emilie) describes being left in the waiting room, due to cramped and unavailable space, on the contrary to the therapists suggestion that she immediately be put under observation and in a hospital gown and "stockings," no less (which are continuously referred to throughout that book and are about as irritating as nails on a chalk board.) Patients needing to undergo observation due to sectioning, whether periodic or intense suicide watch, would be stripped (as Emilie describes, inaccurately) of anything which may bring great risk and place them in immediate danger of death, as is psychiatric regulation, including the removal of shoelaces, belts, neck ties, bras, shoes, socks, stockings, suspenders, linen (for the bed) and braces, all of which can be used as a noose or a form of strangulation. In expressing what had entailed to her therapist, he, as a medical professional responsible for her would have indicated that these will be removed for her safety during his informing of her rights under a mental health act before her decision is concluded to attend a psychiatric hospital to undergo suicide watch.In a high severity case, in sexed wards, patients may be stripped entirely.

Emilie's claim of not being able to make a phone call completely sold me on the fact that this book was pure fiction, and no autobiographical content present, since as voluntary and as most are able, would be able (and have more flexible ability to) stay in contact with appointed friends (if they do not have family), family or carers. Not every person who attempts suicide is immediately admitted to a psych ward and Emilie's account being (near)completely wrong, made the book aggrivate me to the extent of putting it down. Then again I realised upon continued reading, this is a (supposed and self-proclaimed) researcher and historian who believes electro-shock therapy to still be performed the Nineteenth Century way, although many (experienced patient or professional) will inform us that it is now performed under a general anaesthetic and uses muscle relaxants, so that the muscles only twitch slightly, and the body does not convulse during the fit, a form of seizure brought on to aid severe depression, mania or catatonia, that being if the patient shows no response to the experimented medications or therapies.

Many patients have found it helpful and have even requested to have it again. Myself included, Electroconvulsive therapy provided me with a genuine amount of relief towards my psychiatric illness and I did not feel a thing. Of course I gave informed consent and it hasn't been solely a prevention (I won't lie and say I haven't experienced a relapse at some point, naturally I have). Despite it being painless, I did have side effects such as being in a small state of confusion with acute memory loss but it subsided and I have benefit from this treatment, particularly with continued medication such as Remeron, Wellbutrin XL and Zoloft. I only had to have it though because my mania was prolonged to the extent of my loss of self-control and it inflicted with the suicidal thoughts I had to the extent of intending to act upon them vigorously. Anyhow, this is not my story being told, so back to Emilie's story...

As well as those annoying stockings which are a dead give away to just how fictionalized the characters experiences are, Emilie apparently also convinces a member of staff, a nurse whose job would be on the line no less, to allow her one of her books and a crayon to write of her experiences. Allegedly the voluntary short term patient, Emilie is transferred to a hospital ward, inappropriate to her needs and solely reserved for the long-time patients due to the earlier mentioned lack of space. Here Emilie (the author)stupidly recollects how she was given permission to have her spiral notebook (a spiral metal-bound notebook, with metal components also a risk to patients, including any long-term patient with severe mental illness god-forbid they got their hands on it,and against regulation, which would have seen the staff member fired or under observation themselves for their lack of acknowledgement of the facilities health and safety rules) and a pen. Routinely she is said to have checked in and out of the nurse's station every morning and night. Throughout she described being ill-treated and yet seems to have undergone special treatment, this must have been because her illness was far more superior to the inferior needs of others (at least this is what you learn from the narcissist lurking within the opinions of Emilie.) And upon finding scraps of asylum accounts by Emil(y) within her (against regulation) notebook begins to reveal her take on American McGee's Alice (As many have pointed out).

This book was no different to the thousands of psychological / mental health biographies out there except for the fact that it didn't appear to be of true accounts, and for it's unoriginality and exaggerations, and incorrectness regarding mental illness and historical fact is not a book that I would read again. I would probably only recommend the book to those who are fans of the author, as it makes well for a collectible item, which is why I will keep hold of mine, a second edition. Critical acclaim can be given for the authors investiture within the books appearance but nothing else, in my personal readers opinion.

I feel the authors "madness," is purely aesthetic for their art and is possibly a persona taken on to infuse their career with thrill and give it an appeal. Though I do not think that mental illness should be made saleable in such a way, I also do not think the author has any intention to harm but does so unknowingly. As many others have stated this is in slight offensive to many with mental illnesses, including bipolar. Though if anyone feels it helps them or comforts them, regardless of its misinterpretations and falsehoods, then good for those readers as this cannot be classed as a bad thing for all.

For me though, in its entirety it does make reference to subjects that are not clearly understood, experienced, or researched enough to make them even appear in slight believable, there are so many "off" accounts / facts in the book that for me at times it was emotionally hard to attach myself to the characters, mentally consider the story (Emilie's) as real and with no ill intent or rude ambition aimed at the other, I physically couldn't read it again for this reason.

The author has a very narrow-minded and inaccurate view of Britain also, with very stereotypical views that are meant to support their knowledge of the United Kingdom, in this case London, but fail on so many levels. I feel if the fictionalized tale was based in America, a land to which the author is born and bred from with greater knowledge it would have been much more enjoyable and their self-historical writing more convincing. It is the typical depicting's of an Anglophile and for me, was far far too similar to American McGee's Alice which was for the most part well studied and presented to the gamer.

I will say this, if you want to read it or are intrigued by it, then buy it and read it because this is only one persons opinion and people need to come to their own conclusions.

The majority of the reviews here seem to be by those who listen to the authors music, and I quote one who left a review that said "I haven't read it, but anything Emilie Autumn gets five stars," I think these types of reviews are deceiving and unfair to the author (whose music shouldn't even been brought up in a review which is focused on the book, it has no relation) and this isn't a review for Emilie Autumn "The Musician," but Emilie Autumn "The author," who deserves honest reviews from honest readers, whether critiqued as good or bad.

[Pia Flores · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am still reading this book but so far is like 'factitious illness'101. Is very painful to read when you are living with mental illness because it feel a little like the author (who was my hero until I read story) is mocking us. It feels like this was made up for the money, like stage character, it has many errors and it also seem like she actually has no empathy for anyone but herself specially people like me, living with mental illness. It is like munchausen syndrome diary. It's terrible. I now realise her 'asylum' theme is very wrong. It's not advocate, it's negative. I am more sad that nearly two years ago I paid for pre order of audio book for this and she take my money and still no audio book and because I now know I do not like the story because I think most is faked I asked for a refund. I have no refund to this day. I am sorry to the author but I don't like this book it hurts my feelings as a suffering reader and I don't like that author sells the suffering of many for money and won't give the money back when product is not satisfactory and also still not even made. I will never read material or follow material by miss autumn again. I just can not support art that is damaging. If you live with special needs then make sure to do everything to make life good. You don't brag "I am crazy" or play it over like broken record or tell many lies.

[Sharon · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have to say there seems to be a lot of ungenuine high ratings on this book to keep the rating up after Autums very public outcry regarding her book being rated one star. She called it bullying. I can't say I saw much evidence of this at the time except for one or two reviews which have (thankfully) been deleted.

It is sad that the author cannot understand that not everyone is going to enjoy their book. But her outcry is why I am going to choose how I write my review carefully because clearly the author is sensitive to criticism and I don't want to offend.

At first I didn't count myself amongst those who disliked it because I had not yet read it. On mothers day I got my copy as a gift (yes I am one of her older followers and not a teenager).

Unfortunately I won't be finishing it because it makes me feel like a parent snooping in on their teenage daughters over dramatic diary. It is too self absorbed, petty, pitiful and childish for my taste. Since I have a daughter who suffers with suicidal tendencies and low self esteem from bullying at school, I had to put it down when I got to the point of being face to face with an image where this grown woman thinks it's humorous to mock suicide, and people suffering like my child, with shirts that have pen scribblings of "hang in there" on them for one example (it gets more stupefied as her story goes along. I now understand why people doubt her experiences and think this is all a money or fame grab). This is shameless and I can't think why you would feature such content in a book that you allegedly say has been publish in hopes to aid mental health reform. You have to be slightly brain dead, still in primary school or have too much ego to care.

You can smell the bull manure the moment you get passed her suicide attempt. Did you know that you could swallow lethal peroxide with no medical side effects and no need for physical medical attention? Autumn seems to think that as a reader I am stupid enough to think so. Just as I am stupid enough to believe other things that scream out as fiction within Emilie's accounts. I am saddened by the fact that it turned out to be that I dislike the book just as much as those accused of being bullies and am even more saddened that, although my honest opinion, I am probably going to be counted as one of them (I can't help it if I do not agree with the writers content).

I've tried to be polite, word my review nicely and be as honest as possible and can finish my review by saying I am very much pleased I didn't get the audio book pre-order as a gift because it's been two years, it's not yet finished although money has been taken and I would have been greatly dissapointed. As a parent of a child suffering mental illness I would tell my child to avoid Emilie Autumn and not to follow any of her advice. She has used her mental illness to be cruel, conceited, manipulative and dishonest in a way that she knows will sell and sadly I was sold on it until I read the book when it was too late. But I'm not one to judge a book by its cover I must peer into content first. Her instrumental music is what I will continue to follow instead. As an author I can't call myself one of her fans. As a violinist, I think she is world class and worth a listen. Just don't pay attention to the person behind the instrument.

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

Terrifying to think that this, THIS, is the material being handed out by a self-proclaimed mental health advocate and one who clearly owns no conscience.

A plethora of whining, self-pity, hate, bullying, negativity, falseness and full of ableism - Although not surprising coming from an author who lacks need for a wheelchair and yet puts themself on display in one. Did I mention fat shaming? Yes, bullying of those who are overweight, but this is okay apparently for the author (who is also the narrator) because she is underweight and states to have been subjected to questions of having an eating disorder - if you are underweight and living with depression, any doctor, ANY would have concern particularly if quite clearly you are both depressed with protruding bones (the photographs of the author in the book, portray a woman who is skeletal in figure so to speak).

Is it wrong to be a medical professional and worry for your patient, if you have an inkling that they are not giving you all the details and are not well...because physically they do not appear to be, and which is alarming when you take into account the female / male is also not well emotionally or mentally. I felt the author should know this to be common sense but sadly, they are without common sense the more you read on.

Mocking mental illness by giving nicknames other patients in the vicinity which are profoundly rude and grotesque (enough to make me vomit). Many others have already pointed out the other obvious issues with this publication including the further, making a mockery, repulsive fashioning of mental illness with barely there shirts and their alleged "witty" (actually in bad taste) slogans.

And why, WHY does this author need to waste what seemed to be a lifetime of pages talking about a paperclip? YES, A PAPERCLIP. Forget the stockings, the spiral note book, the lumps of hair spread in photographs across pages or pages wasted on just a listing of the word pain (it was like being back in detention at school) : what relevance had this paperclip?

It's no wonder the author decides to focus near ALL of their attention on the fictional side of the book, Emily with a Y, when going on about (oh and boy has she gone on about it....) for seven years and counting. The autobiography side was visibly made up to near full extent particularly if you read the book over a few times as I have, to try and understand it, and dissect it in depth. I feel this author is a walking barrel of untruths and should not attempt to advocate anything regarding mental illness until they understand the sensitivity of it, understand why publications such as this are a works that makes for contrary to advocating : something that, by an actual publisher, would never be published (possibly a reason why this book does not even own a barcode).

[Shainlock · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Second read : December 2021-Jan 11, 2022—
I was distracted this time around so I wasn’t absorbed. The mystery was also gone and I saw things with a different set of eyes. Experience can change the way you think. I can see the over dramatization and some things I couldn’t before, but I wouldn’t overwrite my first read for anything. It’s an excellent piece of fiction with real truths in it.
******************

Way to go EA. I didn’t know much about you before, but that’s okay. I have read all sides. Just know:
I don’t feel the hate. I just don’t. I understand this book and I feel where the author is coming from so much.
I just don’t feel animosity towards her, but instead i feel kinship.
Plague rat. Inmate. Maybe I drank the koolaid.. no, here, it would be tea.

Firstly, this is beautiful! As an artist, lover of puzzles, riddles, calligraphy, journaling, music, imagination, it had my attention the second I found it. The earlier book did too, but it ran out before I could get it. It’s also very gothic in the yesterday and today tradition. It also is a bit fae. I love a lot of her sense of aesthetic- so look... that is absolutely a sensitive person in there; a creative soul, an old soul... everyone makes mistakes. She is a puzzle in and of herself that she has been working to solve. She doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve! It’s right there! On her face! Near her eye, on her cheek!
I choose to see beauty and inspiration. I choose to see the mind that is there. I choose to see what she revealed.

She is working through some things and she has seen/been at the bad end of mental healthcare, of medicine, of doctors and of life; I could tell that was true. I have experiences and those of ppl very close to me that were so similar in regard it spooked me so bad.
I happened to be that last person for one friend, and pick up on some tiny thing before they were gone forever (or a vegetable ).
I got there in time. After that, My friend checked themselves in to a hospital, unbeknownst to me. I didn’t find out until months later. What was relayed was so similar to this in so many ways that I know I believe her. It was before this was written. (No, I don’t mean the Victorian part)
I had no idea what happened to them! No one knew if they were okay, just like in this!

It was a nightmare and I can only imagine what it was like and being put in the wrong ward!
Why do we judge others so harshly ?
Maybe she is trying to do something good ?
I don’t know. I’m no one’s judge.
I can light a candle in the name of all the victims of abuse and mental illness and hope that awareness brings truth and understanding. I can hope that in a lot of areas that mental healthcare improves (because it sure as HELL NEEDS TO A LOT) and that even just safety and relations between different types of ppl improve. It’s not so lofty is it?

[Jess ❈Harbinger of Blood-Soaked Rainbows❈ · Rating 2 out of 5]

'You,' he said, 'are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.'

That quote is the reason I wanted to read this book in the first place. That, and this weirdly beautiful violin music from an artist I used to really like named Emilie Autumn. I thought Emilie was such a beautiful quirky and extremely talented soul who escaped mental illness and found a beautifully creative way to come to terms with it and share her story with the world.

If that is what you currently think about this artist, then I highly recommend NOT reading this book. Because that image will change.

The quote above without any kind of context can be read as a beautiful poetic line. A line that we readers and artists read and think "oh that comes from such a beautifully tragic story. I must read it now." And that's exactly how I felt when I first heard that quote. It sounded like such a wonderful tale, and right up my alley. Unfortunately when you read this quote and then come to that passage, you quickly realize that that quote is something that only a very narcissistic person would write about in their "autobiography."

I will first start out by saying that this "autobiography" is really not one. Even if I choose to believe in Emilie's story (which I absolutely do not, will get to that later), there is a whole half of a book that is a "story within a story" about a girl named Emily who is a patient at a Victorian asylum. And this, let me tell you, is 100% fiction bordering on fantasy. So even if you believe Emilie, half this book is fantasy. And I will also say that even though I'm writing this review two years after I finished the book, I remember almost nothing about this story within a story. So much so that I won't even talk about it in this review. It was boring and nonsensical and is what I believe to be Emilie's alter-ego's backstory. Emilie may actually indeed believe that she is the reincarnation of a locked up Victorian wayward girl locked in an asylum, but that is also because Emilie has serious mental illness. And not bipolar disorder that she claims she has in this book. And I will explain:

UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME (and possibly a long rant, gold star to those who stick with me)
I should preface this part by saying that I am a registered nurse. And I take a lot of pride in that occupation and that title. It is not something that I say lightly. I worked by butt off to get where I am, and I take the responsibilities of my job seriously. I worked on a psychiatric floor of a hospital for awhile. And it was here, working graveyard shift, that I read this book. So this book really hit me in a lot of ways. Unfortunately not positive ways. I ultimately ended up leaving psych nursing for a lot of reasons, but those reasons have nothing to do with A) the coworkers on my floor who were AMAZING people. B) my patients, whom I still miss very dearly to this day.

So this novel (because that is what I am choosing to say it is, will get to that also) starts out with Emilie attempting suicide and promptly checking herself into a psychiatric hospital in order to get help. On the surface this seems like a very responsible thing for Emilie to do. However......

When I worked on my old unit, we had three different types of patients typically:
A) those who had SERIOUS mental illness (and I would like to add here, that my saying SERIOUS is not to trivialize any type of mental illness because all of it is serious. I truly truly mean that. But for lack of a better term at the moment, I will explain what I mean by this) And when I say SERIOUS I mean the people who are completely detached from reality. Perhaps schizophrenics who have taken a vacay from medications, or those suffering from manic bipolar episodes having violent attacks, those with fixed delusions, etc. The stigmatized mentally ill, those unable to hide their mental illness from the world. These are not the types of patients I want to talk about today.
B) those who realize that they are suffering from mental illness and legitimately want to get help. These are the ones who were considered our "easy patients." the ones who trust the doctors and who take the medicines, and who check in with the nurses, and who are generally quiet and agreeable, and just want to get better. I am also not going to talk about these types of patients today.
C) The patients who are really mentally ill but who want to use their mental illness as a means to get attention. A lot of these we would also call "frequent fliers." Those who use the system for whatever reason they come up with and usually every time we discharge one of these patients, we will absolutely be sure that they will return to us. Typically these patients suffer from some form of borderline personality disorder. Their mental illness stems from the constant need for attention. Typically these patients are provocative. They are hypersexual, can have violent outbursts, and fabricate or exaggerate their own experiences in order to get attention to glamorize their condition.

Did you catch that last part? Glamorize their condition. Why would someone do that? Answer: To get attention.

And though it is sometimes easy to characterize these people as all having the same character traits, each person is different, and so the disease will manifest differently in different people. However, some of the things that I have seen, treated, and witnessed over the years in people with BPD are as follows:
1)Most claim that they have bipolar disorder. This has to do with glamorizing the condition. And in a lot of cases, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder can serve to vindicate certain behaviors. And because these people are typically charismatic, great liars, and manipulative, they can usually get formal diagnoses for bipolar disorder so a lot of them may actually be on bipolar drugs. But only in very rare cases do people with BPD actually have a dual diagnosis of bipolar.
2)Most people with BPD will strongly deny that they have BPD.
3)People with BPD will usually attempt suicide several times. And they will usually exaggerate the attempts (which are most often very weak) to make them seem much more serious than they actually are. In fact a lot of people with BPD glamorize suicide. But these people also DO NOT ACTUALLY WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE. They want people to think they want to. Because then they will become victims and victims get attention. And I will also say that these are not to be confused with people who attempt suicide as a cry for help. Because those people typically want to get well. The types that I am talking about are ones who take two or three too many sleeping pills, knowing that they will eventually regurgitate the poison out of their systems and be just fine in the morning. And they are the ones who will talk about suicide all the time. Most people who actually do want to commit suicide don't talk about it at all.

Ok now that I have bored you to tears with my ramblings, I will say that Emilie Autumn is a very mentally ill human being. But I'm willing to bet money that she does not actually have bipolar disorder as she claims, but that she suffers from borderline personality disorder. And I am not trying to trivilize her condition. But I see this "autobiography" of hers as a fabricated story being used to get attention. I highly resented her treatment and descriptions of nurses who work in her institution because in my experience, psych nurses are NOT Nurse Ratched. We are a different breed. My unit was known in the hospital as being the unit with the best teamwork, and the most knowledge about every patient on our floor. Because you see, we may each have gotten patient assignements at the beginning of our shifts, but we knew each and every person we cared for. We treated them all with respect, but we did majorly enforce boundaries and rules on those who were provocative and just wanted attention. And we don't do this to be mean, but boundaries are the only way for someone with BPD to get the help they need, and sadly because they fail to recognize their disease, most never do. I'm sad for Emilie Autumn. But I refuse to buy into this sensationalist fabrication of a book that was most likely published to garner more attention. She complains that the doctor hits on her. Which sounds awful! "Oh Emilie you must be so brave to endure that and not turn him in!" The thing is, it is common for people with BPD to hit on their doctors . (or nurses, or friends, or significant others, or fellow patients) to turn around and then cry rape. Which makes me sound callous and cold if it were not for the MULTIPLE times I have had to diffuse these situations at work.

So anyway, this is me shedding light on this author for being a mentally unstable, insecure, and very sick girl whom I wish would get help. But this book is trash. And it's not well written either. Emilie is very talented. But those talents really are limited to music. Unfortunately, now that I've read this and have a very different view of Emilie, I can't even listen to her music anymore without hearing self indulgence and fabricated stories.

I don't think I have ever had this much crushing disappointment in something I have wanted to read for YEARS. And when I finally got this book on my kindle, I did ten thousand happy dances. I gave this an extra half star for the artistry of the book. Because I can appreciate the artistry as being maybe the only REAL thing this book has to offer. Emilie does have style, man.


I also think it is telling that before she revamped this to be a normal looking paperback and ebook, you could only purchase the hardback on her website for around $80. If that doesn't say "narcissist" then I don't know what does.

1.5 stars.

[Jason Duchscherer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hmm, well I'm taking a few moments out of my day to write a review of this "book" as a kind of catharsis. I need to just so I can mourn the loss of the time I spent with it, and move on.

I'll begin by saying that it's an enormous pile of sh.., and the only reason I can imagine someone would read it is to see if their patience is strong enough. Strong enough to reach the point where they find the reason why the author went to the trouble to put all these words on all these pages... only to find yourself disappointed that there was no good purpose to it at all! It offers no moral message, doesn't sway the reader's emotions other than inciting pity, has no real characters to identify with, little dialogue except that which she engages in with herself, comes to no resolution, reconciliation, nor does it offer any insight on how to fix the problems described. It's victory is a grand exercise in failure, and then... celebrating it?

As for Emilie "Autumn's" (real name: Emilie Liddell) experience in a psychiatric ward, it strikes me primarily as an appeal for sympathy (ignoring the fact that there really are people there who need help), a gross exaggeration, and an effort to shoehorn every experience directly or indirectly involving her into some conspiracy to make her a victim. And to me this seems to be done mostly out of boredom, for she isn't exactly stupid, and she is occasionally clever, but I think mostly suffering not from the effects of a world gone mad, but her own ball-less-ness and deficit of intention of growing up and taking some responsibility for her life. And I don't mean paying bills... for all I know she's made a zillion dollars selling this crap in a tin can, in which case would be a testament to the sorry world we really do live in. Wah.

She labels herself various forms of "crazy" while she's actually suffering from unresolved childhood abuse; her primary disease today is something I would call a pathological narcissism. She pretentiously pushes her behavior out to the edges of the bell curve to cash in on the oohs and aaahs from people who are impressed with her 11th grade attempt at creative writing while acting like a teen. The text is unnecessarily wordy, and clouded with attempts to resurrect artistic canons which have been dead a long time. These efforts neither help to convey her message, nor give it a reason to be said. She mostly hangs her hat on the aesthetics of it all, which she also simultaneously exalts and insults. It's so damn confusing.

It seems she purports to be some kind of real-life musician, and so I did some research. To my dismay I found her music equally plagued with the sad habit of insulting all things she deems less clever or worthy than herself, but I will admit the melodies redeem themselves on more occasions than this brick does. I mean book.

I don't deny that her pain in life has been real, I just think she's too wedded to it and still hasn't realized that her salvation is not in the attention she can draw from others, but what she can honestly give of herself if she ever decides to act her age. She still confuses creativity with lying.

All in all, I'm left wanting to do two things. Give her a hug, and then slap her face. But then she would probably accuse me of trying to pinch her butt. So f'k it.

Two stars.

[Ashleigh · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't normally give bad reviews( wish I could zero star rate )but I have and have known people who have suffered, and still do, with depression. I feel like this book is an insult to the people who read it and the people who suffer with any mental illness.
I read the first 20% and promptly realised there was no way I could continue reading this silly self pitying self obsessed attention seeking pile of pretentious nonsense.
So needless to say I did not and will not finish it and I'd advise everyone not to waste their time or money.

[Alejandra · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have two different editions of this book and it has been messed with by the author so much that it's hard to decipher what is fact or fiction in the autobiography side of the story. It seems slightly just as fictional as the fictional half, more so as it goes along. There is a lot of unnecessary ranting and self-pity to the point of being uninteresting.

In March 2014, I also ordered the audio book because I wanted to hear the author tell her story, see if I would hear a genuineness in her voice. Let's talk about another thing that's messed up here, just like the possible made up story in the autobiography of the book, when I paid in 2014, I was told my order would ship in April. No book. A delay due to a microphone and rerecording.

I thought fair enough and purchased another edition of the book not long after. I have two editions as I said. I went along reading the other edition to see if some of the untruths had been removed whilst I waited for my audiobook to ship. A year on I requested a refund and to this day I haven't got one. Just a month ago the author confessed (basically) that the audio book hadn't been recorded with no mention of its delay being a microphone. Now two years after I've placed my order there is still no audio book. Those that bought it have been fed more lies regarding it's where abouts. Now I ask myself, do I trust the accounts of someone who lies so prolifically or do I forget it all and read the story of someone with bipolar or mental illness who is not so untruthful to their consumer. It's sad that I just don't care about this authors story anymore when it's all they talk about.

I've chose to move on although I'm only a little way through the fictional story (Emily with a y, which I think is boring completely) and read Stephen fry, Ruby wax, Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath and a few real Victorian oldies. I'm staying as far away from this author as possible in future.

I'm going to be completely honest for completeness and say the audio book wouldn't have made a difference to my judgement of the book. Being in an asylum with stockings on, a metal binded note pad and mocking other mentally ill persons or of those with weight issues, trying to insist to the reader that the narrator / author was related to the likes of Alice liddell and the wasted pages which were just pointless photos poking fun at suicide, or of hair, or the word pain to fill whole pages, was enough to make up my mind. It's a childish adolescent read. I'd rather read that of a mature writer who doesn't claim their book was also used in the psychological curriculum at the University of Oxford which according to this author is in London. I accepted the author was no historian but this much I do know, you don't make up such things to boost your status either when you have no clue, clearly, of what you're talking about. Anyway I'm not ranting, this is just the first author to leave me in such disbelief.

I did rate it one star because it deserves a star for presentation this I did like, it was magically different, very welcoming on the eyes. But. I am a reader not an observer of art. I want to read not look at picture books as a 24 year old woman.

[Spider the Doof Warrior · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was INTENSE. Emilie Autumn's insights about bipolar disorder and mental health care were extremely fascinating. I'll have to write a better review when I read this book again. It also has some very interesting illustrations.

Damn, the Victorian Era sucked. I love the aesthetics but not the era.

This book is a story within a story. You have Emilie Autumn being forced into an institution after a suicide attempt. She talks about how her freedom and privacy was taken from her and wonders how this can possibly help her to be less suicidal. She talks about how things like cutting is a symptom, not the actual disease.
Then you have a parallel world where women are punished for daring to stand up to the sick, unhealthy society they live in that rapes and abuses them without getting punished for it.

It's a very powerful book, full of Emilie Autumn's illustrations and insights about being bipolar, the medicines she takes and the attitudes people have that have to change along with how we handle mental illness in the first place.

Also, listen to her music. I recommend listening to Opheliac as it's a brilliant, awesome song.

[Eleanor Bridgewater · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pros

The appearance of the book was alluring and the layout of content, interesting though I have read others books created in this scrap note book design and often find them more interesting than your average black and white read, yes I am one of those that like books with pictures, so this was bound to take my interest.

Emilie showed a fine example of Parents who push their children to be outstanding musicians because the parents need the reflected glory, it was saddening. On the other hand.....

Cons

The character of Emilie, the books modern non-fictional character, showed feelings, anxieties, and insecurities that dominated her relationships, which upset me and I got sad, but appeared to be down to the fact that everything needed to be about her, and not having her way clearly indicated the characters triggers of these symptoms - like always having to be correct in an argument / on a subject particularly within the facility towards staff, lashing out verbally (and more, she was so rude to one nurse and even attacked her about her weight, despite claiming to be scrutinized as someone with an eating disorder / weight issue) - but unlike 'some' with mental illness, without regret of such actions. One thing I learned, Emilie was not a character to apologize.

Despite acting in such a way, the character of Emilie comes across as always having the paranoia of being picked on, though as said easily lashed out / picked at others, feeling more deserving of an apology rather than apologizing to others, as if living looking down her nose at others and I couldn't help but feel that the convincing herself she was being picked on, stabilized her, and made her feel like her actions were to be excused (It is so hard to describe and it got me so worked up!).

I have read the book on three occasions now, and still can not change my feelings and I still dislike it, however much I look up "bipolar disorder," to try and understand, why Emilie is basically acting like a six year old trapped in an adult body.

I sympathise with the challenges faced such as abortion (I sympathise with any person who has had to make the decision to give up a child), but, can not sympathise with or believe many of Emilie's accounts, as it read as a distorted diary of erroneous events for pure fanciful reading with quite a large amount of defects, in one part I felt like mental illness was being made carnal. The photos were deplorable, the way suicide was turned into feeble fashion, with the nonsensical slogans on the marker scribbled shirts (the author may have felt it humorous but I beg to differ) so contemptible they looked desperate and juvenile. As for the stockings... I will not go there. I couldn't bring myself to feel anything for the character that...

1. Though self-admitted, when in the hospital, refused to ask for help because it would make them appear "weak" despite that being the purpose of the stay.

2. Felt that they were perfect and so everything should be perfect, and they should have their needs met first.

3. Felt they had to "put up," with those around them without actually regarding the fact that the staff were putting up with her tantrums, due to not getting her own way.

4. Emilie came across as a jealous character, unable to control their anger / temper or emotions (which in an unstable position is understandable, so this I let sly because I understand it can be a symptom). Except their views on other mental illnesses were appalling and made me question their actual knowledge or experiences in part.

5. Narrated as a character who goes out of their way for constant attention or affirmation from those around them.

6. Simply would not even try to understand her triggers, symptoms and help herself. Now, when institutionalized, the author (who the character of Emilie is based upon, born in 1977) would have been approx 27 / 28 when hospitalized and well, I feel should have been a little bit more mature especially since bipolar doesn't entirely affect how one thinks, its more "mood," related. I understand Bipolar disorder is a manageable disease, but there are a number of factors that can get in the way of successful treatment, however making that first step to admit oneself, it was pathetic to read of how someone flat out refused to gain some control of what they were living with, and showed in a way signs that they let "it" control them and somehow used it as an excuse.

The trouble for me was not whether Emilie was mentally ill, I believe so but - though I agree with her showing signs of moderate mood swings - still am convinced the mental illness she has relates to extreme selfishness, with a imposing perception of her own talents and desire for attention and is more personality related than mood. Which goes a little past just mood swings. The narcissism of this character was mildly angering me as I read, to the point of it becoming really bothersome. It has taken me six months to read the book, these three times, because I was unable to get past the pestilent pages with ease. After trying multiple times, I won't try again.

If you are a fan of Emilie, you may like it, or like me you may not. It was a novel of extreme self-love and lack of thought for others, so much for the "strength in numbers," though that also, was more in the fictionalized part of the book.... though I feel the whole book (except for the obvious pointers, like the kid moulded into being the violinist because of the parents, the abortion) is fiction, I have tried my best writing this and to not to sound like a meanie but I have also tried to convince myself otherwise. I have read more accurate literature on the topic, which wasn't as annoying or self-sympathising.

[Diana · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was enjoying the book until it became kinda repetitive: the old victorian girl who is inside of the asylum and Emilie who is in the same asylum but now. At the beginning both stories were alluring but at 50% in the book it began to be more of the same. While it is true that in the victorian girl you can see a critic of the society of the epoque that put many women through the grinder because they weren't comploant, we soon find the story somewhat lags describing tortures but not offering much. The same happened to me with the part of Emilie: while at the beginning I enjoyed whichever critic she was offering on society it soon began to be less alluring and I began losing interest on the story, as it seemed to recreate on dark parts more than in moving the story forward.

[Joel · Rating 1 out of 5]

It has taken me six months to finish this, it was so tedious, my seven year old sister isn't this dramatic and infant like. If I never hear or read the word stockings or come across another sycophantic Anglo-phile who lives for stereotype and playing pretend, I will be grateful. Can't actually believe Emilie Autumn wrote this after how much she portrays herself as an intellectual. The historical errors are almost comical. I think she has a wild imagination and has aimed to shock with this book, but for me, I had the feeling it would be just as stereotypical to psychiatric related horror stories already told as her British is to the British culture stereotype. Sometimes I just needed a sick bag.

I think that the staff suffered alot with her stubbornness, narcissism and child like tantrums (not to mention her bullying of them and name calling) for want of getting her own way. Did she think her stay was going to be 72 hours in Disney land? Jeez. From what I read, it was usual procedure and she just didn't like it because she wanted to be pampered because she's "Emilie Autumn, world-class violinist bla-de-bla." Don't admit yourself to a mental hospital then?! We all know there is harsh procedures to follow for the safety of patients and staff, it isn't rocket science. Hollywood has taught us enough; which seems to be where some of the authors ideas have come from. I was scratching my head all the way through the pages because I am pretty sure this is a mix of novels / screenplays already written rolled into one.

Is she aware that many famous persons have been involuntary patients, forced without option, into this same facility the author speaks of? For much longer time and not lucky enough to be voluntary or admitted by their own means. Is she also aware all of them, all, have been grateful for their stay and the help they received. Some house of horrors. I don't doubt some people suffer in these places but I do doubt this author did.

As for the "Liddell" relation she tries to suggest of having, Alice in wonderland (lol), well that's even more foolish than writing pain repeatedly or photographic hair to fill pages and posing in one's underpants, like a kid in a diaper, with suicide mocking slogans scribbled across her top.

If I could zero star I wouldn't think twice. Not attacking the author, but come on, some of the positive reviews here are clearly fake by people who haven't even skimmed the pages purely to boost the rating. I get why some people may like it because design wise, it's pretty, but is this what books have come to? I'm someone who prefers text and strongly
doesn't agree with the authors views and made-up stuff for monetization. Ridiculous is an understatement, dangerously stupid and naive best describes this book.

I don't even think I can follow her music career anymore, especially now I know more than I wanted to know about her personality thanks to wasting money on this book. I wish her best of luck but can only hope one day she will stop milking what millions suffer on a daily basis, people who aren't fortunate enough to live the life she does.

I think I wwill dodge the second
part of the book "Emily with Y" like a bullet because her whole obsession with Britain when all she knows is the obvious and a few words is really awkward and as a gamer, I don't want to know if she has ripped off American McGee.

[Wilhelm Goldstein · Rating 1 out of 5]

Danke for curing my insomnia with this over the top, self-worshipping, book of fiction. thought it would never happen.

[Nola · Rating 1 out of 5]

Review of the audiobook

*spoilers alert*

So after waiting two years after paying, it arrived, and I've listened to it. As well as the rushed plain black packaging with RE-used logos instead of the promised exclusive artwork; the content itself is rushed. With snippets of other releases included to fill it up.

The story has been changed ALOT from the original.

Let's start with the most stupidest : she as always stated the stay the book was based upon was around 2004, when she was 27 / 28 (born 1977), but, in this version of the book she has decided, all of a sudden, she was 17!!!! YES!!! 17!!!

And people wonder why no one believes this author's story as "semi-biographical," or the whole hospital visit being real and think it's all a persona : just look at how much this author can't get her story straight, look at how many changes we have had to deal with. She stated whilst in there, after "enchant" (2003), she needed to get out to record "Opheliac" (2006) this would make her 27/28. The stockings and ring binded notebook she stated to have had in the hospital, in the original (which obviously was also a LIE), are the least of a fans problems with this version (2016). Which you can't even say was originally published (2009) because it doesn't even read as the same book.

IN THE ORIGINAL BOOK SHE WAS ALSO LIVING AND HAD SLEPT WITH BOYFRIENDS, hence people thinking the "asexual" claim was stupid, She DID NOT have her abortion so young either, this was at 27/28. I CANNOT BELIEVE MY EARS. This book should be down as 100% fiction. Where is suffer the bear too? He was a big part of her life....apparently.

Her family, she has always stated in reality and in the original book, "died in a fire," this is now "I have no family and my father died of cancer." Now it's true that horribly her father did pass from lung cancer, but it isn't true that she has no family. Some biography, Emilie's mother is writing all over her social media daily.

The drug and cutting diaries, the most interesting and important part of Emilie's own story, have been removed. They actually were needed. Now the book is uninteresting. And I don't care about her character at all.

The fat shaming is also still there, and she talks about bullying, this woman mocks the mentally ill, disabled and those with weight issues. So because you are skinny it's okay to talk bad about those dealing with obesity?

Because you are bipolar, it apparently excuses your behavior towards others with mental illness and makes it okay for you to pick at them with sick remarks and name calling? Er - NO!

God knows how many minutes of her ranting in my ear, making me feel like, because I'm a bigger lady, I am worthless, I am ugly and I deserve the name calling I get. DISGUSTING.

The awful forced British accents for the Emily with Y story make your hair stand on end, but not in a good way, she needed training for this.
This story was elaborated on but it isn't the story you care about the most after reading the original.

Veronica's song is a reworking of "Marry me" from Opheliac and the lyrics were just teenage. A very unhappy plague rat. I say plague rat but I am no more. This woman is beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside and I don't buy her stage persona or her pleasant act. Two years for this rubbish. NOT IMPRESSED. BIGGEST LITERARY PILE OF DOG-DOO-DOO EVER!

As a fan I feel guilted with lies into buying her story and I agree now with those she called "cyber bullies," who wrote previous reviews still here, because they are good reviews and accurate, and I am thinking "is this whole thing fake?!"

This artist acts like she doesn't give a dam who stays or goes in her fandom with her "get out of my house" cringe temper tantrums - good - then it won't bother the child in an adult body, if another leaves, this book is sick. It stinks as much as her attitude stinks.

Okay so it ended up being a looooong review but I guess I don't appreciate someone making up sob stories or fabricating worse realities than what they experienced or lying to me in a biography they claim (her experiences) we're real : that flat-out makes me hate.

I've gone from loving this author to literally wanting nothing to do with her in just a few hours of listening. Why? Because she has proved those Cyber bullies and Negative reviewers here, correct, and I'm now with the 1 star club. If I could rate less : I WOULD. It would be 0. Sycophants can keep the rating up doesn't change the deception.

But this woman, it's clear to me, is horrible just horrible. I always felt the idea was robbed from Courtney loves "dirty blonde" aesthetic and Alice madness story, but didn't care until now because the first time round, I was ignorant and gullible. DAMN can a person change your opinion of them by just saying to much (or too little).

What annoys me more about this publication? She literally committed theft, some people who knew this was going to be the pile of you-know-what that it is, and didn't want to wait (a wise choice I should have made) : still to this day have not been given refunds.

Thief and fabricator : growing up I was taught to avoid such types for my own good. Pathetic to think this woman will soon be 39 years old. Oh believe the 1979 crap, but some of us have been around longer, should have known from early lies, she wouldn't keep the story of her novel straight. I AM SO MAD WITH MY PURCHASES that I could write for days. Apologies everyone but you didn't have to read this and I DID need to vent. This has been THE worse book purchase I have ever made.

*SLAMS DOOR*

Worry not Emily A. Fritzges (now the apparently related to Alice in Wonderland Emilie A. Liddell)

I AM VOLUNTARILY, AND HAPPY TO BE, OUT OF YOUR HOUSE

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like I've found some kindred spirits within the book of a kind I've never known before. It makes me want to research and read other accounts of victorian insanity in women. I told my husband this and he didn't understand at all why I would want to read what must be such disturbing accounts. And I didn't really have any kind of good answer for him. But now I think it's that kinship that I'm feeling making me want to connect with them and share in their stories.



Like the members of the striped stocking society felt they should remain alive for the sake of the other girls, I fell like I owe it to these girls of my past who I feel such a connection to to read their stories and allow them to carry on. After all, there but for the grace of the time period I was born in...

[Razwana · Rating 1 out of 5]

She should have left the book alone. First time round it wasn't perfect and yes it had many errors, but now, the audiobook (which is allegedly going to be the new printed version), is just tragic.

I won't repeat what others have said about certain parts, their reviews are all accurate and I agree - sometimes a project just doesn't deserve more than one star, and, every author should acknowledge this and work from the negative criticism not accuse people who don't like it of all being "bullies."

I have many valid reasons why I didn't like this book (at all).

1. I waited over two years and the author took my payment, the product arrived those two years later - this is fraud.

2. The author didn't say at the time that all the new changes would be happening. This was noted near two years later - this is false advertising. The author didn't care that the consumer had paid for the original version, not, the altered and refused thousands of refunds when requested / blocked the buyers (myself included) on social media when their was no response from the main point of customer service.

3. I didn't get my refund. Instead I was sent the audio book and I have listened. And yes, the age "17" change of the protagonist (Emilie Autumn, the author) bothered me, for reasons many have mentioned and because well now *spoiler alert*

4. The character of Dr Sharpe finds lyrics written by Emilie, to "Marry Me," a song from Opheliac (2006). Emilie would have been 17 in 1994 (or there abouts, her birth year is certifiably 1977 - thus can be found with a quick internet search). Marry me wasn't written, and it has never been suggested or mentioned as such, by the author prior to Opheliac. And even if written during enchant this would have been 2000-2003, although I doubt it, because she never mentioned or referred to it, or, Opheliac until after this "stay" in the "asylum." It is good to note that she lies about dates / age to seem like a wonderkind. Her own website wasn't established until 2000 and her career was non-existent really until Opheliac (2006) made it so. She may try and say so now and cover-up with another lie. Which has been the case on many occasions, and, as a fan it gets tiresome.

These reasons, and those mentioned by others, really bothered me and I agree with others, this book should have been down as a complete fictional novel. Even the experiences of the author seem fictional at this stage. I wouldn't buy another version of this book, or, another book for that matter by this author. It's not worth the hefty price or spending hours being told tall tales about her life. It wasn't always listed as "semi-autobiographical" it was initially called her autobiography, with an added fictional side (Emily with a Y) and one of the most honest accounts of bipolar ever penned - the very statement is a joke.

Sycophants will drink it up by the pint loud, but, I think many are going to really be intolerable of the lies and this version at this point, the author seems to think a) we're stupid b) so gullible and in love with them that we will believe anything. Some Plague rats (such a nice name for one's "beloved followers") will defend her to the death but at this stage, there is nothing to defend, the very suggestion that you should be apologetic for your opinion of a book is laughable and insulting. If you ACTUALLY have a diagnosed mental illness, take it from someone with one, avoid this book. Try others - there is thousands to pick from.

The author may think we may not realize the truth (although some of us have) but this author is the one who is blind to the fact that :

HER VERY CAREER, FROM BOOKS - STAGE SHOWS - is ABLEISM. Blindly she discriminates every individual living with a mental disability (and with a wheelchair those with physical) selling it as if candy, and sexualizing it for it's worth. Because of this book and her shows, you now see fans adorning themselves in ripped attire or straight jackets with quotes under pictures such as "they're going to take me away," I jest not, this is what I've witnessed following this author. The book has opened my eyes, she's definitely sick - that's undeniable - for glorifying mental illness in the way she does.

[Adalet Yalaz · Rating 1 out of 5]

Note : English is not my first language

Infuriate and sickening. I liked her music so I bought her book after she made such a big deal about it. Over a decade of making a complete mock of people actually living with mental illness and monetize on it for fame and fortune. It sounds harsh but I don't believe her experiences one bit (Emilie) or than the idea (Emily with a Y allegedly the only fictional part of the book) is original to her after reading her book (basically partly a rip-off of Courtney Loves "dirty blonde" so I can't even praise it aesthetically and coincidentally she was her violinist, and Courtney also having mental health issues / hospital visits, and McGee's Alice with small stolen gems from Jane Eyre and Alice in wonderland, even Cinderella, and "Girl interrupted" where I presume Emilie steals her "lifer" reference from) and I'm referring to the unedited first edition, where she claims to be related to Alice in wonderland etc (cr-inge!). What's more embarrassing is that old acquaintans from Trisol and her mother call it all false, which is believable because Emilie has told so many lies over the years. I wanted to read a book I could relate to, so I gave her benefit of the doubt being a fan of her music, what I didn't want was more lies. I think she will get the big and famous status she want but for ALL THE WRONG REASONS. She has find her way to the top dishonestly and disgraceful. It is shame she cannot see her wrong. Admit lies in book and confess persona and apologise. A more honest book about real Emilie Autumn would be great. This is for pure intrigue and she is all about getting "oooohs" and creeping people out as is obvious with her projects she do with horror maker Darren Lyn Bousman. HORROR. To shock so people think she's cool. She learned to act like "mad girl" by studying Courtney love, someone who has always been troubled. She wants to be Courtney. There is much selfishness in her work and words. There's no realism with Emilie Autumn ever. Everything is for show. For something theatrical. To get reaction. It's just a dirty book from a great pretender that has no place on my clean coffee table. A fictional story that was written and intended for film or stage. It's obvious. Bousman will probably be one to make this tragedy come to life. It will just join for queue with all the rest insulting asylum themed movies, books, shows that the world already has and don't need. Now I need a Mirtazapine because I'm upset. This book have emotionally upset me. Here we are sitting in the dirt with mental illness. Crying and fighting daily. Whilst someone puts sequins on, shiny costumes, acts crazy, sexualizes mental Illness like is some game and gets paid for it and calls it advocate???!!!! STRENGTHENING THE STIGMA. Now I know why NO record label would keep her. Now she says "Stark raving sane" on her profiles and has updated her bios to say "empowerment etc." It's stupid because she still plays the "mad girl" to get fame. Uh. Take my reaction as someone with mental illness with a pinch of salt if you want to read book. But unless a sycophant who is blindly by obsession, avoid is my advice.

[Dahlia · Rating 1 out of 5]

The book and author are ridiculous. Sadistic to some extent with the whole obsessive compulsive need to lie frantically about experiences which are deadly grave for so many. The fact is, in the beginning (when the book was first published) Autumn claimed this book to be her memoir mixed with half fictional tale (Emily with a y). She never stated it too just be picks from her experiences, no! This was directly published from her spiral notebook journal she penned in an asylum (metal ring bound spiral note book, aka, a dangerous and not allowed item in a mental hospital). "Emilie" is Emilie Autumns telling of her own experiences, the majority of which are completely over exaggerated for mere shock factor. After being called out on much of her untruths she has slowly changed the books description, sadly, she will never be able to erase the original because it will be lurking around the internet. Anyways! Yes, she has lied in the new book and said she was 17, instead of her correct age, but I'm gonna have to say I think it's because the character of Emily with a Y is 17, so her characters age wise can relate better, but! I think this was something that should have been original to the novel when first published. The novel right from the beginning should have been down as fiction / fantasy because it basically isn't a non-fictional work. Instead she did describe it as her "memoir" and more embarrassing "the most honest and accurate account of bipolar ever penned" : No comment.

My low rating is deserved. Even the author knew there has always been things heavily wrong with her book, that is why she cannot stop focusing on it and recycling it into every thing she possibly can, and has been chopping and changing it for the last, approaching, 8 years. I think that says enough. Some of the similarities to another authors work are not just "simple coincidence" they are too similar to be so. No. There is no unique story, no true original piece of art, because everyone has a similar taste and style to someone else, but! The elements of this story are too closely related to those of the other authors work. It makes fans sour because its fact. Plain. And. Simple. She has done the same with her music.

Too be honest though. Emilie accepts the low reviews and seems to appreciate these opinions. The only reviews she has complained about are of those that had no relation to the book. The only ones with the problem of this book being low rated or consider total crap (which in my opinion it is) are fans constantly trying to find someway to write a good argument that basically summarizes the majority of her fandom - gullible sensitive sycophants who have to whine and vent and rant because children don't like not getting their way - who always claim not too be a fanatic, without realizing they make themselves seem even more so by acting so immaturely, trying to call out people who found the book distasteful out, for what they say is basically "not knowing anything," when for all we know, these fans now obsessed with mental illness could be munchausen and have not real experiences. I don't think it's anyone's place to questions anyone's view of a book, which is why this is totally cool, but! It doesn't help Emilie improve her work, if, fans keep causing drama around it. She cannot see what could be improved if every single person who low rates her work is called a "bully" or accused of "victim blaming" or having no experience with the topic of the book (which is downright ignorant and rude). In my opinion the way Emilie perversely uses mental health and sexualizes it is dangerous, but! This is not fault of the author people should have control, however, she can be held responsible for her irresponsible way of (allegedly) and pro-actively fighting for mental health reform. Personally, I don't think she cares, from what you read in the book, it is all me, me, me, me and the protagonist (Emilie who is Emilie Autumn) proves it's all glamorize mental illness for profit because it's all about her.

I am bipolar (like many here voicing their opinion because it's a free world and we should if we feel the book is harmful for people living with what we live with. "Famously Bipolar" she used to gloat in her website bios until people called her out on it, and this is now changed to "successfully bipolar" but the thing is, clearly she is not or this asylum theme that's been going on since 2006, would now be dropped and something more positive, not literally sticking to the stigma or mental illness with the whole "mad girl theme" would be better. She actually fuels and enforces stigmatization more : this is the reason many want to read about Emilie's experiences, they want to know why the hell she is like this but the fact is you learn nothing except how bitter, self centered and mean this woman can be in a nutshell. I have had similar experiences to Emilie. It doesn't mean I have to agree with her perception of the world after what has happened. I agree with some five star reviewers and I agree with one star reviewers. She is super interesting, it is worth a read but I warn that many may be let down especially if owning more than one edition. I agree that her experiences and claims are highly questionable. Emilie Autumn has always had an ego, this I feel is better than no self-esteem at all, the fact of the matter is : she is too much on her high horse to come back down to earth, lose the fantasy and provide some realism and truth to her writing, and at the same time to ignorant to acknowledge that although she writes of being abused, her ignorance is abusive to others.

[Elize Liesel · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am MEGA frustrated and angry at Autumn for the Audio book edition of this publication. Okay, so originally I would have given the last two editions both 3 stars, but now I have to decrease that to 1 star. This book is ridiculous.

You cannot voluntarily go into a mental health facility without an adult, if under the age of 18, how stupidly dangerous and unprofessional would this be? And can you imagine the legal medical negligence cases if this happened? In the real world it does not. In the mind of the prolific fabricator that is, Emilie Autumn, the author it does.

Maybe I wouldn't be so annoyed if since 2006, as a fan, I hadn't been told other tales by the author about her experiences. Which I'm calling fictitious from now on. I've made my mind up thanks to this, ANOTHER, tampered with version of her original book.

I also do not care if she was trying to appeal to Young adult readers or to make the character (the author as antagonist) Emilie closer to Emily with a Y's age. Why?

She told us this stay was between Enchant and Opheliac, so 2003-2006, somewhere between there. She has ALWAYS stated this. Others are correct here, this would make her around 27, in her twenties she was in the original book, MUCH TO MY SURPRISE (AND NOT A GOOD SURPRISE) not the ten years younger she decided to fabricate in this version, and she never stops fabricating, you have no idea.

The age thing doesn't surprise me because her poetry written in her mid-twenties (i have followed her since 1997 too) is now advertised as her teenage writings. WTF??! She has a serious phobia of aging and seriously likes to cling on to youth / as well as wanting to make herself seem more "maestro" by lying about her age. Just look at her wiki, it was 1977, the correct birth date for years. I didn't mind her changing something as small as her birth year from 1977-1979 at first because many people do it. But now the age changing and time scale alterations are getting extreme. Is she secretly trying to compete with other similar artists / authors who are much younger?!?! LOL. I have to laugh because I am just flabbergasted by her sometimes.

This book was initially advertised as her autobiographical tale (Emilie's story until she discovers letters from Victorian Emily with Y, and does an American McGee Alice on us in the plot) but it's not an autobiography at all. Not even "semi" as she has recently altered the description too. All the changes indicate the falseness of her experiences and her failure to remain accurate or honest. I cannot believe the amount of content ripped out of this version either. What a let down.

AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL writing means keeping the truth within the story straight, it isn't bent out of shape this much.

I do not care if she is the author, or whether she can "do what she wants with her publication", to a point, the book should remain close to the original print. I think it's clear everything from her mouth / pen is fake. "Semi-autobiography" has to go. Or write a new book.

Do NOT even get me started on the cheap quality of this product both packaging and content. I could RANT, RANT, RANT after she took my money in June 2014 and made me wait until July 2016 for this, thinking it would have improvements. All talk and nothing to back it up. She took my money in 2014 and it came to light she didn't even start working on this until 2015, what the hell?!, it wasn't a kick starter either, it was a straight up pre-order purchase promised to arrive in July 2014. I am just stunned. I will AVOID her like the plague (pun intended) in future there is plenty other artists, authors and creatives, with her steampunk / neo-Victorian visions. Her own story came from someone else's.

[❀ Tina ❀ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5*

[Lavender Sparrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I truly love a book several things happen to me
1. I of course find it hard to put down
2. I have very vivid dreams about it
3. It influences my dress
4. I find it very hard to review (because how can you put into words how a book this special makes you feel)
All of the above has happened, I am officially in love with this book.

I thought I would like this book, it's about everything that I love or find fascinating, but sometimes this can work to the books disadvantage, because I have extra high hopes for if. Thankfully The Asylum for wayward Victorian girls was just everything and more that I hoped for.

Before I talk passionately about my love for this book I think I should just say that before I picked it up wasn't a fan of Emilie Autumn. I had never heard of her until I saw this book, but as I am extremely interested in Asylums and all things Victorian I bought it. After reading this book and diving into her catalogue of albums I am now an official plague rat and wayward girl. I love this woman and a lot of this has to do with her book and how her mind works and the way she looks at the world. Both Emilie and her book are beautiful, dark and wonderfully interesting and imaginative.

This book is massive! In size and story you really get two incredible stories in one book. You get Emilie's true account of her time in an L.A asylum to start with then we meet Emily with a Y. This is a fictional story set in Victorian London but with a lot of realism set in there based on historical asylum and society method's. This is were both Emilie's are going to mess with your mind because the story blurs here. What is fact and fiction and maybe even both who knows?! But it's the most dark dream your going to be puled into and I didn't want to leave. I don't want to go to much into the plot but it's just fantastic. The character are vibrant and interesting, and the plot/true accounts just never lost my interest for a second. Plus as a lover of Ophelia I loved all of the references to her through out.

If you are looking at this book and wondering if it's worth the price (plus the postage if you live in England like me) Let me just say yes it is. No maybe, just yes. It is in beautiful full colour with illustrations, photos and hand written entries. Gosh just such a stunning book.
Emilie Autumn your book has entered my dreams and touched my heart.
I love both you and this book.

[Sarah Kallus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ein geniales Buch, vor allem für Menschen mit einer psychischen Erkrankung, die von den anderen nicht verstanden werden.

[Jukebook_juliet · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 🌟

[Coleen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Emilie is a talent and a talent that I follow with great anticipation. But I did over anticipate this book. I've been let down by both my favourite artists this year Amanda Palmer with "the art of asking" and now Emilie. I wish I hadn't touched either of their books so I wouldn't learn how self absorbed they both are.

I knew when I purchased it from Amazon that I wouldn't be getting "the truth at all costs" as it's description says because following the authors career, I know that on the contrary to this statement she is quite continuous in her dishonesty. Usually telling anything but the truth with a tendency to subtly steal ideas from others (Imogen heap "candlelight" / Emilie Autumn "Castle down) and this book proved to be no different. Though I do like what she does with these ideas. As someone has pointed out the book has never been used in the Oxford University psychology curriculum in London as the author also states naively and unthruthfully at her site and this statement or lie wouldn't have been told had dear Emilie have been British or have any clue about Britain except the usual stereotyping, she'd know it is (obvious) in Oxford.

I purchased the book because of the "horror tale" the description implied.

It was for the most part a retelling of McGee's Alice as others have echoed and the autobiography left the impression that it was about 99.999999% fictional (and a lot of the book was pathetic) so sadly I didn't even pay much attention to "Emilie's" story but more of "Emily with a y's" story.

I won't provide a list of reasons why I feel for the most part she has exaggerated nearly everything for the drama, shock, profit, reputation and attention it will gain because it then looks like an attack on someone I admire.

Who sadly has a pretentious and over-bearing personality that doesn't gel right with me if I'm reading the diaries of an alleged victim. Who in the book does actually abuse others (this will possibly be removed along with the "I'm related to Alice in wonderland" lie I guess now the book is being rewritten for the audio book and new edition).

The accounts of the mental hospital were just as inaccurate and typically "Hollywood" as the history accounts and this book will be put aside with the Opheliac companion, which I think was another release I wasted money on. This artist seems to know that us fans will pay for anything. Though for me, not anymore. I am pleased I did not order the audio book.

I definitely wouldn't read it again or recommend I think when an artist has been focusing on the same sorry topic for ten years and is still in the teenage angst drama-queen phase rather than moving on from the same old, it looks a little desperate if not false and doesn't seem as though all is what it seems. Without seeming evil, it does appear to be using the sympathy of people and the topic of mental illness for the dollars(why would anyone brag of being "famously bipolar" or "notoriously manic depressive" If they want to be taken seriously? Or if it is not all for show?).

I know I sound slightly mean but I really do love Emilie Autumn Fritzges Liddell I do think music wise (instrumental works) she is good however this book and her writing in generally is poor to me and really doesn't deserve the one star. In appearance it was lovely but again, it's laid out like Courtney Loves book. I expected something a little different. As I said I over anticipated. Deep down I knew I would be let down. I didn't really like her poetry either but if you are a fan and want to buy it then do so you can come up with your own views.

[Rebecca · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am not going to cherry coat this. Yes. I have specifically made an account to review this book that a) is one of the most disastrous literary works I have ever come across, I guess that is why she has constantly altered it, re-released it, and felt the need to turn it into some "Adult" children's book..making puzzles to form a distraction for the terrible literature and b) is one of the most disgusting hate-breeding written pieces I have ever read..the first editions were bad, but instead of editing it for the better we now have MORE ableism and MORE body-shaming..but..EA is all about body positivity, sisterhood and together right? Wrong. This woman (to twist a quote) is "a terribly false thing in a terribly real world.." selfish. Apparently, to fight inequality, body shaming and mental health ill reform, when you're EA you..do the same thing! As every smart, intelligent, loving person would (not). So she was thin-shamed in the hospital (were she ever there, that is questionable, as it all seems made up because well, now were getting a movie after the musical..if your past hurts this much, do tell how you can keep replaying it whilst wearing a huge smile and bagging an even bigger profit). How does her being thin-shamed give her an excuse to attack those who are not skinny and label them "unhealthy" I am a 12 stone, female athlete, but to her I am disgusting and not the cream of the crop. How does her having bipolar excuse her outlook on other illnesses, say her mocking of schizophrenia..not forgetting the Manatee retard and wheelchair (when she don't even need one) incident. I could go on for days. I was hoping with this eBook, all that shit would be pulled out, instead, nurp! The viscious attack on those who don't suit her "ideal" is now worse. What more should I have expected from a woman who plays "gay" on stage to "empower" women, but is actually someone who is heterosexual, anyway..feel like it's my own fault for believing people like this can change. People who just recycle projects to make a quick buck. Emilie Autumn type people, artists who really ought to improve themselves before they tell others what to do. She should walk away from this "Asylum" and seek further help. There is no excuse for someone who writes or thinks like this. She needs help. In text she is a total contradiction to what she fakes to be like in reality. Lies catch up with people and I feel soon hers will..and we will see the real EA. I don't want to be around to see it. If you have a mental health condition or any health condition..stay awake from this book.