Loneliness

by Clark E. Moustakas

Loneliness is a condition of life, an experience of being human that enables people to sustain, extend and deepen their humanity. This work shows how it is necessary for readers to recognize their loneliness and aims to provide an impetus toward an awareness of our own solitude.

Genres: Psychology, Philosophy, Nonfiction, Self Help, Humanities, Spirituality, Relationships

1 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1961

Reviews

[Arjun Ravichandran · Rating 3 out of 5]

A poignant meditation on loneliness, heavily inspired by Heidegger’s notion of anxiety - a state where all relations and self-conceptions drawn from such relations have been undone, leaving the in-dividual exposed to the withering cold, left to his own native capacity for suffering, beauty, and understanding.

Not to be confused (as the author makes clear) with loneliness anxiety, the state of pretence that characterizes homo sapiens in modern societies, where all are held together by common adherence to facade, a desperate turning towards the group to avoid facing the genuine loneliness of oneself.

[Hana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loneliness is an all encompassing emotion. It flutters and pulls and asserts itself throughout human existence. Moustakas dissects it, pinching it's nerves and severing blood clots, revealing it's many hidden layers. If you enjoy narrative as a form of research, and aim to reflect on the underpinnings of loneliness, this is the book for you.

[Lina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mano santykis su šia knyga labai dviprasmiškas: ir labai lengvas, organiškas ir sunkus, varginantis. Labiausiai rezonavo santykio su savimi aspektas, o mažiausiai-amerikiečių, buvusių (prastų) politikų istorijos. Šiaip sakyčiau, jog tai 3*, bet pridedu vieną magaryčių dėl to, jog vis tik tai yra nepelnytai per mažai žinomas humanistų psichologas, pradininkas, toks kaip Rogers, Maslow. Ir gali būti, kad mano protas per menkas suprasti kai kuriuos autoriaus teiginius. Išsinešu mintį, jog vien bėgti nuo vienatvės skatina susvetimėjimą su savimi.

[Aspensail · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book firstly grasped my attention when I was reading Moustakas' textbook on phenomenology research. I was just curious to learn what a phenomenology research product would look like in the book format. I was then immediately intrigued by the rich elaboration, vivid day-to-day mundane examples, as well as a fine selection of historic events and politic figures presented in the book to illustrate the lived experience of loneliness.
This is by no means a self-help book as you may find nowadays in a random airport bookstore, nor a psychology handbook fulfilling some practical functions such as helping you prepare your licensed social worker exam. It's about philosophy and life. It reaches the softest part of your heart under the hard shell you've built centuries ago to defend yourself. As previous reviews pointed out, it might be downer, for those who seek jolly jokes, cheap cheers, or momentary motivation. However, I found it so incredibly touching and soothing in the midst of endless insomnia, relentless uprooting and occasional bewilderment.

[Jonathan Karmel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not quite sure I got this book. I guess this is supposed to describe the emotional experience of loneliness. But many of the examples seemed like sadness, not loneliness. Also, the book did not really explain why some people feel lonely even though they are not alone. I did think it was interesting to consider the possible benefits of loneliness. As with anger, sadness and fear, it may be better to just recognize loneliness as a part of life, and to accept this aspect of life, rather than trying to deny the reality of this experience. Always trying to deny or distract yourself from the experience of loneliness may be worse than just experiencing it as a part of life.

[Gwendolyn]

It's too bad the goodreads people don't have a thumbnail of the cover of this book. It's got a black leafless tree on it and looks like something you'd find in a goth kid's backpack. I wouldn't really recommend this book to anyone, unless you like reading about lepers, mothers dying of cancer, and Emily Dickinson. It's safe to say this book is a downer. My Existentialist therapist recommended it to me because I love that depressing NPR show, Magnificent Obsession, which is similar in style to this book.

[Karolina Kebla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Man patiko. Vienatvės išaukštinimas kaip būsena, kuri išgrynina, padeda save pažinti, leidžia išgyventi ir nurimti. Labai teigiama puse paspinino praeities momentus, kai jaučiausi, atrodė, “per daug” vieniša (pvz gyvendama viena Indijoje; tapus mama, etc), o dabar supratau, kad tai buvo esminiai “vystymosi” kaip žmogus momentai, neišvengiamai vieniši visiems žmonėms. Labai gražiai aprašyti ir išjausti tie vienišumo pojūčiai. Padėjo pradėti mėgautis vienatve.

[Edvard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written in a lot of different styles. Felt like each chapter was its own standalone piece. Not necessarily a bad thing, was just surprising given that the author was a clinical psychologist (i.e., I was expecting a more academic discussion on the topic of loneliness).

Started with some very sad stories of various people's loneliest moments and personal struggles; these stories were hard to get through, but were ultimately impactful. The rest of the book went on to define loneliness in abstract terms, somewhat philosophically musing on it being core to the human experience. Overall the book sends the message that loneliness is something that we must embrace and learn to live with. The author describe the 1960s, when this book was written, as being a time of increasing disconnect and alienation from one's local communities. It was interesting to read this here, as it's a common theme in the modern context - alienation through technology - societal disconnect in a more connected world. Maybe it's not a unique sentiment, in that each generation looks back in time with rose-colored glasses? Or maybe there is some truth to the thesis that the present is the result of an alienating process at the hands of technology that began many generations ago? Regardless of the answer, the core message is that learning to embrace, and even enjoy, loneliness is a means to build more resilient communities.

The rest of the book takes case studies of famous historical persons, and describes the nature of their loneliness. For example, Lincoln and Wilson, used to describe the challenges a person generally faces in positions of political power. The selection of individuals that the author chooses to discuss seem arbitrary, and at times artificially connecting back to the theme of loneliness, but were still enjoyable to read from a historical perspective!

[Yoo Ri · Rating 4 out of 5]

1.
I am so lonely. That's why I picked up this book in the library. I ve suffered from deep loneliness for a long time (maybe my whole life).

나는 항상 외로움에 고통받는 삶을 살아왔기 때문에, 도서관에서 이 책을 집어들었다.


2.
This book has its own wisdom on loneliness. Specifically, I love the idea that it differenciates two types of loneliness: 1) existential loneliness and 2) loneliness anxiety.

외로움을 두 가지 타입으로 나눠서 설명하는 부분이 특히 마음에 들었다.

3.
This book covers existential loneliness more. But I hope it would cover loneliness anxiety more. :/

4.
The illustration of lonely feelings are excelent. it made me feel like someone symphathize my loneliness.

5.

The chapter "The loneliness of public life" is slightly boring though. Becuase the author never knows the exact feeling of that people, but the author wrote as if he knew how that people felt.
It is very convincing and plausible, but it is just assumption.

6.

Overall, this book is good for those who feel loneliness, and for those who are fighting with lonely nights.

[JULITA · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nepanaši į dabartines self-help knygas. Meditacija apie vienatvę. Kaip apie neišvengiamybę. Vienatvė ne romantizuojama, bet normalizuojama. Laisva citata: “vienišais daro ne vienatvė, o bėgimas nuo jos”. Knygoje vienatvė ir daug jos veidų. Kurie parodomi per žmonių - nežinomų ir labai garsių - istorijas. Kartais vienatvės “šokai” užklumpa ne dėl pasirinkimų (liga, tiesiog augimas), o kartais - kaip jų sudedamoji pasirinkimo dalis (profesija - prezidento, keliautojo, tyrinėtojo).
Labiausiai įsiminusi vieta - knygos pabaigoje: toli gražu ne charakterizuoja visos knygos (o gal įsiminė tik dėl to, kad knygos pabaigoje) - apie tą mažiausiai pozityvų vienatvės veidą: cituojami W. Chamberso (kontraversiško 20 a. Vidurio JAV veikėjo, atsivertusio SSRS šnipo) memuarai: “kelis kartus žmona planavo, ką turėtume nuveikti (…), bet mes to nedarome. Ir nemanau, kad bedarysime, nebent laikas išplėštų mus iš jausmo, kad jau nugyvenome savo gyvenimą ir visą, kas liko, tėra apsimetinėjimas, kad gyvename” (p. 215).

[Kyle Farris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loneliness is said to be growing to epidemic levels and has a dire effect on the individual beyond the emotional malady. Reading Moustakas to get a take on the historical and phenomenological approach to loneliness is helpful. Be prepared to dive into the depths of despair to find the beauty of loneliness. I struggle to accept the defeatist mentality toward loneliness (that we are all destined to be lonely), but as I process it, I cannot help but to accept it as truth. Read for yourself to see what I mean.

5-Star: Everyone should read this.
4-Star: Everyone in this specific field should read this.
3-Star: This was a decent read for the specific field, but there are better options.
2-Star: It got me to the end of the book, so there is that.
1-Star: It was bad enough that I didn't finish it.

[SuKnyga · Rating 4 out of 5]

,, Nėra kito vienatvės sprendimo, tik priimti ją, susitikti su ja, gyventi su ja ir leisti jai būti. Visa, ko ji reikalauja - teisės būti priimtam natūraliai "

,, Kūrybiškas žmogus dažnai yra vienišas, nes jis pats privalo būti pasauliu savyje ir rasti gyvenimo kelią savo viduje"

[Kate]

Mentioned in May Sartons book Journey of a Solitude

[Sama · Rating 4 out of 5]

Relatable to this day + work of art iThink :) this is my second read; first read for a graduate course. Thanks Prof. Sherryl Kleinman for the recommendation.

[Willem · Rating 3 out of 5]

Praised be the lonely, for they have uncovered the true essence of life and all of its treasures.

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some really interesting ideas, but mostly lost me for the second half in talking about how lonely Presidents are.

[Krist · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paliestos įvairios gyvenimiškos situacijos, kurios padeda atskleisti vienatvės įvairovę. Jos keliamą siaubą apipintą grožiu bei galia, galia keisti žmogų, jo vertybės.

[Isabelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Repetitive and not very revolutionary.

[Laura Marčiutė (Pelėdų knygynėlis) · Rating 4 out of 5]

CLARK E. MOUSTAKAS

„Vienatvė“

Toliau tęsiu savo kelionę po žmogaus psichologijos vandenis. Ir šįkart į mano rankas pateko garsaus amerikiečių psichologo, vieno iš humanistinės psichologijos pradininkų Clarko E. Moustakas knyga „Vienatvė“ Kodėl nutariau ją perskaityti? Na, visų pirma, šį kūrinį man rekomendavo mano psichoterapeutė. Tikriausiai jau nieko nebenustebinsiu pasakydama, kad šiais masinės izoliacijos ir karantino laikais vienatvė yra jausmas kamuojantis daugelį. Bet neretai žmonės ją supranta kaip itin negatyvų reiškinį ir visais būdais stengiasi nuo jos pabėgti. Tačiau galbūt to daryti visai neverta?

Šią knygą autorius pradeda nuo pasakojimų apie tikras kartais labai skaudžias ir liūdnas įvairių žmonių vienatvės patirtis nuo vaikystės iki mirties, todėl šį kūrinį galiu palyginti su psichoterapijos procesu, kurio pradžioje pacientas prieš pradėdamas sveikti dažnai turi susidurti su savo baimėmis, pykčiu ir kitais neigiamais jausmais. Tam, kad jo pabaigoje taptų atsparesniu visoms gyvenimo negandoms Todėl vienas iš esminių dalykų, kurį, manau, reikia pasakyti apie šią knygą yra tas, kad tai nėra tipinė savipagalbos ar saviugdos knyga ir tikrai neparodys jums dvylikos kelių į laimę ar penkių garantuotų būdų kaip patirti sėkmę. Tačiau jei skaitysite ją atidžiai, įsigilindami į autoriaus mintis, suprasite, jog vienatvė gali būti ir labai graži, nes tai yra bene daugiausia įtakos žmogaus asmeniniam augimui turinti patirtis, kurios išvengti negali niekas.

Apibendrinant pasakysiu, jog man ši knyga tikrai pasirodė ypatinga. Tačiau negarantuoju, jog ją perskaitę būtinai sutiksite su mano nuomone, nes tai daugiasluoksnis kūrinys, kurį suprasti, gan sudėtinga, bet jei lengvų kelių literatūroje neieškote, tai ji turėtų jums tikti.

10 pelėdžiukų iš 10

Laura Marčiutė

[Adil · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had a very promising start and there is a coherent perception of loneliness that is maintained throughout, as something not to be avoided but embraced creatively, and is expressed well in the abstract. However, I found the links between this abstract view and the concrete cases very obscure and not sufficiently elaborated. Choice of the cases felt arbitrary. Parts of the book are worth reading, but overall, for me, it didn't deliver what it promised.

[Kristen · Rating 2 out of 5]

That 2 star rating might be a stretch. This was referenced in May Sarton's Journal of Solitude and so I hunted it down out of curiosity. I found it okay but I think what he considers loneliness at times I would just consider sadness or grief. Somewhat interesting view but parts were skimmed and it is nothing I would go back to re-read

[Rimgaudas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Knygoje tikėjausi daugiau psichologijos, bet radau filosofiją ir biografijų interpretacijas. Todėl šiek tiek nusivyliau.
Patiko pasiūlymas priimti ir sugyventi su savo vienišumu/vienatve.

[Pamela · Rating 4 out of 5]

read about half.