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168 pages, Paperback
First published September 13, 2016
I had to wait a while before I finally could get my hands on this volume and as soon as I had it in possession I couldn’t hold back reading it any longer. As the volumes before, this one was quite hurting and I felt deeply sad while reading because of the way Ayukawa’s and Kawana’s relationship goes. I want them to be together because they were such a wonderful pairing and they truly love each other but somehow their environment makes it hard for them to be together. Additionally, they’ve built their own boundaries, in their minds and their behavior. It’s such a difficult subject...
But while reading this volume, I came across another aspect about which I think pretty much. It’s the simple fact that I want Ayukawa to get the girl, though he’s been the one to quit their relationship. As it was said in this installment, he’s built a barrier in his mind and therefore he doesn’t let others in. As a woman in a wheelchair, I understand and relate to that complicated situation he’s in. But thinking objectively, should I really want for him to become Kawana’s boyfriend, when he disposes of her whenever he tells himself, it’s for the better, and when he comes hurrying back for her because he’s realized his feelings can’t be pushed away though he’s aware she’s in a new relationship?
The other man, Koreda, seems like the perfect boyfriend. He’s been in love with her since high school and he patiently waited for their time. Now, he’s always there for her, helping and supporting her in any way he can. There’s really nothing I — at this moment — can bring up against him. He’s wonderful and Kawana who’s such a self-doubting character needs someone like him at her side. Plus, he never pushed her away. So, how can I complain he’s not the right man for her?
Now, this is difficult. Do I only root for Ayukawa because he’s in a wheelchair? Out of pity? Because I see myself mirrored in him, kind of? I really can’t tell for sure, no matter how much I consider it. Anyways, I enjoy the story and I’m curious what volume 5 will have in store for the characters. But I also love how this plot makes me reflect myself. A great, authentic story this is!