I Want to Feel Happy But I Only Feel __________

by Mallory Smart

“Mallory Smart is gloriously miserable. She’s down in the dumps, but full of music and magic. She writes about how perfectly sad it is to be in and out of love, as her sights are set on anxiety, drugs, loneliness, dank memes, and a big fat heap of post-grunge. She is a perfect wrecking ball, with a smiley face painted on the side.” – Bud Smith, author of Dust Bunny City

“I Want to Feel by Mallory Smart is a collection of poems rich in impish humor, pop culture confessionals, and a self-consciousness that’s as cutting as it is healing. In a poem titled “Sometimes I Like to Imagine Pulling the Mask off my Face” Smart continues the thought in the two lines that follow: “But I can never bring myself/to delete Facebook.” Dude, I totally feel you.” – Alexandra Naughton, author of American Mary

“I’ve never seen an image of a person with their smartphone made into a beautiful portrait, but a description can be near metaphysical. Or not. (Smart does both.)” – Beth Murphy, girl in Times New Viking

63 pages, Paperback

Published July 1, 2017

About the author

Mallory Smart is a Chicago-based writer, editor-in-chief of Maudlin House, and podcaster.

She is the author of the novel, "The Only Living Girl In Chicago" from Trident Press, the poetry collection, " I Want To Feel Happy But I Only Feel__" from Expat Press, the experimental hybrid short story collection," THE WRITER," the poetry chapbook, "I'm AntiSocial, Coffee Never Lies" from Bottlecap Press and the weird chapbook, "Hipster Idiot" from Ghost City Press.

At the age of 23, she founded Maudlin House.

When she is not writing or editing, she hosts the podcast, Textual Healing. Mallory Smart is also the co-host of the horror podcast, That Horrorcast.

Reviews

[OSLO Zeimantz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mallory Smart, is indeed. Seemingly successful, but not happy. Almost to together, to be feeling so down, but thats the id's of millennials. A Plight to conqueror something, or even the odd attempt at the self, family, therapy, medication, and the odd friend, who really is maybe a crush, or an enemy, more a want for none tho, just the way to play chess right (always 100 steps ahead).

"I Want To Feel Happy But I only Feel ______," is a small book of prolific poetic wit, and attempts to grab you by the brain parts, or the insecurities you hold elsewhere (reading this will help you get over these things, or give you a chance.... TAKE IT!). It made me consider a lot of things. I would like to say, myself, but plain, vain, vanilla. The wit is like all of "Ben and Jerry's" ice cream flavors, smashed into one, and a certain medication included, to curb crying (love). Relatable again, its gets into you and it stays. Like never stopping drinking coffee (!!!!!!!1!) is indeed questionable, but this is life.... we do things out of panic, delirium, depression, spite, love, acceptance, and just being human. This literary ride is someone else Noah's Ark. And Mal brought the unicorns, and left behind the pigs. Seems a siren, calling in all sailors, we all fall for this, but thats life, bear trap here, a cord to trip over there. The acceptance is key... learning is key... (not a self help book).

As sad as someone can seem, there is solstice in that attempt, to understand. Was left wanting more! Its incredibly, borderline funny, and devoutly serious. They way things are described seem so simple, but last lines, and the stand outs, some I read, over and over, knowing that there is some of me in that. Its relatable. Which might not be what the AUTHOR wants, but its mega accessible. There is a laziness to being sad, but thats where the REAL things come from. People who are depressed, IMO, have abetter chance at knowing what is, and who they are.
The ending is great. Cant spoil it.
8.5/10
Pick it up here: https://expatpress.com/product/want-f...
<3

[Ted Prokash · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh . . . oh Jesus, I'm such an old man. I'm such an old man and I'll just say it; the omnipresence of social media, computer-phones, etc., and their creeping into our poetry is grating to me. But that's on me. The nice thing is, the new poets are quite aware of this creeping menace (this which will be the ruination of all things we hold dear!) and so there's plenty of misery to go around. So that's nice.

Mallory Smart is at her best when she is being funny. My favorite part of the book was the epilogue which is laid out as a back and forth between the author and her therapist that reads like a stand up comedy routine.

Smart's talent is obvious here, and I'm excited to see what she does next. If and when she finds the perfect vehicle for her talent we are in for something transcendent. Also, great author pic.

[Luz · Rating 2 out of 5]

this was some internet poetry for fucking sure