The Sunday Times' Music Book of the Year 2017Allan Jones launched Uncut magazine in 1997 and for 15 years wrote a popular monthly column called Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before, based on his experiences as a music journalist in the 70s and 80s, a gilded time for the music press. By turns hilarious, cautionary, poignant and powerful, the Stop Me... stories collected here include encounters with some of rock's most iconic stars, including David Bowie, Lou Reed, Leonard Cohen, Van Morrison, Neil Young, Elvis Costello, The Sex Pistols, The Clash, The Smiths, R.E.M. and Pearl Jam. From backstage brawls and drug blow-outs, to riots, superstar punch-ups, hotel room confessionals and tour bus lunacy, these are stories from the madness of a music scene now long gone.
The subtitle - Rock'n'Roll War Stories - is very apt. This is a succession of despatches from rock n roll's frontline written by Allan Jones.
I've read a lot of music memoirs and this is right up there with the very best. I loved every page.
Allan worked for Melody Maker during the 1970s and 1980s, the golden age of record company largess and excess, when labels routinely flew journalists hither and thither, and when the UK could support four large circulation music papers.
How Allan Jones survived is a miracle. The 70s and 80s were years of excess but his colossal intake of drugs and alcohol really is something to behold. And he needed it too. Having been on the receiving end of verbal and physical abuse at the hands (and tongues) of the likes of Lou Reed, Tony Iommi and Van Morrison. Thankfully Allan did survive and so we have these incredible stories to enjoy. Backstage brawls, drug blow-outs, riots, superstar punch-ups, hotel room confessionals, tour bus lunacy - it's all here - despatches from a music scene now sadly long gone.
Many of the stories first appeared in Uncut magazine, which Allan Jones launched in 1997. The people and groups Allan encounters make for a who's who of the era and include Alex Harvey, David Bowie, Bryan Ferry, XTC, Lou Reed, The Police, The Clash, Joe Strummer, Leonard Cohen, Ray Davies, Tony Iommi, Elvis Costello, The Damned, Van Morrison, Roxy Music, Lemmy, Gordon Lightfoot, Patti Smith, The Byrds, Lou Reed, Sex Pistols, Gregg Allman, John Peel, The Clash, Robert Fripp, The Searchers, The Pretenders, Def Leppard, The Police, Ozzy Osbourne, R.E.M., Townes Van Zandt, Neil Young, Warren Zevon, Wreckless Eric, Dr Feelgood, and Pearl Jam.
So let's say you end up down the pub with a delightful, if random chap. He's FULL of stories (and for the sake of this story, let's say he keeps buying rounds). He has amazing tales to tell about people you definitely know in music (and some you really don't know, but the tales about them are amusing enough - particularly one about a hungry horse). Some of them are sad, too - especially one about Eddie Vedder grappling with the death of Kurt Cobain. But mostly, it's a riotous collection of one man's meticulous destruction of his liver as he builds his music journalism career. If that's your cup of tea, this is certainly worth checking out.
Normally I would be wary of books where aging rock hacks reheat their old rock ‘n’ roll war stories. They have a tendency to topple into self-congratulatory “music was better in my day” or “they don’t make stars like they used to”-style reminiscences, leaving the reader feeling like a spectre at a party that has long since ended. Fortunately, “Can’t stand up for falling down”, veteran music journo Allan Jones’s anthology of rock interviews and anecdotes, avoids such rose-tinted nostalgia.
What ensures “Can’t stand up …” evades any Mojo magazine-type hagiography is that Jones must be one of the least star-struck people ever to make a living in music journalism. He is acerbically, scabrously funny, whether relating the hellraising escapades of Lou Reed or Lemmy, or pricking the egos of self-important spoofers like Sting or Bryan Ferry.
“Can’t stand up …” is chock-full of brilliant vignettes and rollicking interviews, and Jones has unparalleled access to his subjects/victims. He gets to share lines of speed with Lemmy. He gets beaten up by Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath. David Bowie throws a potted plant at his head. He discusses the finer points of Armageddon with Def Leppard. He is out on the lash with Ozzy Osborne the night the metaller is arrested for pissing all over the hallowed Texas monument The Alamo.
There are the occasional dud chapters here and there that maybe could have been edited out. But, overall, “Can’t stand up for falling down” is a riotous, irreverent journey back to a time when music journalists could get such intimate access to the stars, guzzle all the drink and drugs on their riders, then be ungratefully disparaging about them in print. And with the recent demise of the NME, this book (as hilarious as it frequently might be) really is a poignant throwback to what is now a lost era of rock journalism.
Going into this book, I feared that it would that it would be another collection of drink and drugs fueled anarchy that, while I'm sure is hilarious for those involved, tend to be quite dull for those who weren't present to experience such gaiety. It turns out that that's exactly what this book is... and yet somehow it manages to be absolutely brilliant.
The author writes about the lively times he had as a reporter for Melody Maker, mainly in the mid to late 70's, and I think that what makes these tales brilliant is the normality of it, the down-to-earthness of the writer, the humour he writes with. These stories are always seemingly inconsequential, and often quite mundane, and this is often where the brilliance lies. In reminding us that these famous people are often just normal guys who love a laugh and a drink, with their qualities and their flaws, he makes them seem all incredibly likable, even the ones who quite clearly are dickheads most of the time like Lou Reed and Elvis Costello.
Once I got to the end of this book, I had laughed a great deal, been thoroughly entertained, and was feeling oddly emotional and sentimental over people who I'd never known, and for a period of time that I never lived in. Mr. Jones, thank you for this book. Absolute quality!
collection of stories of Melody Maker journalist during the late 70's and a little in early 80's
some interesting perspectives and almost interviews with famous musicians Bowie, Joe Strummer, Lou Reed, Neil Young, Elvis Costello.
did get repetitive for me
basically, treated with contempt, disdain and occasional animosity by the artists. lots and lots and lots of drinking, and touring and junkets and drinking and drugs and drinking...
3.5 stars. There are some decent rock ‘n’ roll stories in this book—I laughed out loud a few times and that’s good enough for me. I’ll buy the second book eventually.
Excellent collection of anecdotes and top-notch "I was there" stories. Although Jones charges through a seemingly random cross-section of pop and rock legends, certain individuals crop up repeatedly and their characters shine through. Bowie is charming (of course), Ozzy Osbourne innocently unhinged, Elvis Costello is nastily aggressive, a young Sting asks for career advice and points out that he has a perfectly respectable teaching job waiting for him back in the north-east. Just don't make Tony Iommi angry, you wouldn't like him when he is angry.
This is good fun! The behind the scenes stories of the rock stars of the 70's & 80's up to now as told by Allan Jones when he worked for Melody Maker. No surprises just good old drugs, drink & rock'n'Roll stories. Enjoyable.
Ended up reading this because I came across the Google Books preview of the interview with Jerry Dammers while searching for something else and it showed like the first page but the rest were like :) sorry :) these aren’t included in the preview for this book :) so I obviously had to put whatever very important work I was doing on hold and see if the library had the book so I could read the whole obviously way more important interview.
The intro is like, I have a lot of opinions and thanks to all my opinions I waltzed into writing about them for Melody Maker when music magazines were Very Cool And Exciting, Once Upon A Time, and I was like 😬 I will now cautiously page through your first interviews either for indications you’re actually a normal person with a sense of humour or passages I can use to eviscerate you in my equally-opinionated goodreads review!
Could I not, conceivably, have just skipped to the one thing I wanted to read? Yeah, maybe, but then I would have missed the part where he goes to see the 101’ers and talks about ACTUALLY HAVNG KNOWN WOODY DURING HIS ACTUAL GRAVE DIGGING DAYS and I was like..... why not..... lead...... with this? Why..... the opinions? But then would I have just been like oh great another My Joe Strummer Anecdote Book no thank youuuuuu!? So maybe the opinions thing is whatever.
Anyway this is a solid three star fun read, thanks to many delightful and non-editorialising Joe Strummer anecdotes, a number of passages that will make you vaguely embarrassed you’ve been dressing like Elvis Costello since eleventh grade, 💖David Bowie💖, Bryan Ferry in full ✨aesthete✨ mode, the aforementioned 🖤🤍🖤🤍Jerry🤍🖤🤍🖤, and an overall welcome lack of pretension and that like I Was There And You Were Not, and also I know everything thing way too many of these guys have!
There haven’t been many careers that I have wanted: musical theatre performer, rock star, author. Those have mainly been the prevailing ones over my 36 years. In all honesty though all I have ever really wanted to do is have a job that lets me stand at the side of the stage of rock and roll history watching my rock star heroes perform. Basically, I want Allan Jones’s life.
In his book Can’t Stand Up for Falling Down I got to sample what this life was like. He has had some of the most amazing experiences and encountered some of the most exciting artists of modern history. I won’t lie to you, reading this book made me more than a little jealous. However, I have to be happy that I books like Can’t Stand Up for Falling Down exist. I know I probably won’t get the same experiences that Jones has had (I work in a high school) so through his writing I get to live them vicariously through him. And I guess, for now, for me, that is enough.
Can’t Stand Up for Falling Down – Rock ‘n’ Roll War Stories by Allan Jones is available now.
This collection of edifying anecdotes could only be improved if it included scratch'n'sniff patches that might allow the reader opportunity to catch whiff of the pub, the gin and vodka in backstage dressing closets, the champagne and pernod, the lines of cocaine and ampules of amphetamine sulphate, and, above all else, Dave Brock's Milawi Tripweed. But beware, the sniffling reader should show restraint around Steve Clark, the chunky belching and shart-ripping guitarist of Def Leppard!
S'truth, if all this sensory detail isn't enticement enough, trust me that the book is often hilarious and as occasionally poignant as one could wish for in an anthology of so-called "rock'n'roll war stories." The stories are presented in concise blasts, memories held together from being now twice-told (at least in print), as the presentation here recasts Allan Jones's unconventional editorial column for his own UNCUT magazine, "Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before." But the stories read as if oft-told, and they play their beats perfectly, well-timed, never overstaying their welcome. The personalities of those Jones encounters, captured at many and varied stages of their careers, come through with a wonderful mixture of authenticity and caricature.
[Note: I've now started Jones's second book, and the stories there are a bit more elongated, revisited, and yet somehow come across more sullen, mocking, and even a bit spiteful; though still very funny, they just seem to be trying a bit too hard, leaning somewhat more into caricature, which may be a product of their revision and expansion. I prefer the remastered but not remixed text here in "Can't Stand Up For Falling Down."]
It started off really well. The stories were so entertaining and ideal for someone interested in some behind the scenes looks into the a few hours in the life of an artist. But about halfway through I started to lose interest, not because the stories themselves were boring, it just became really repetitive. Big rock stars, big egos, big temper tantrums, big addiction problems, big dramas. And about two-thirds of the way I started skipping over chapters about musicians I didn't really care about. Because of that repetition, I wouldn't recommend it be read all in one go. I read it gradually over the course of 7 months, but ideally if you write a book about some of the most interesting people in the world with some of the most insane stories, you would want people to be hooked all the way through.
This was an easy to read and very entertaining collection of stories about the great and good of the rock and roll years. The title seems to allude to the amount of booze and drugs consumed by the author as he tries to keep the (good) company of those he’s been sent to interview for Melody Maker. But there’s nothing drinkers like better than the company of other drinkers in some dingy bar they’ve stumbled into far from home. I liked this book because of the insights it gave into some of the big names portrayed. Who knew Elvis Costello was such a volatile little nark? We all knew Sting was pretentious but the stories of him herein show go some way to demonstrating how he got that reputation. The same can be said for Van Morrison and Neil Young, their portraits helping to show why they are what their reputations tend to say they are. It’s an eclectic mix of interviews, from Morrissey to Ozzy, and each essay easily stands on its own as a worthwhile read. None are too long or overstay their welcome although quite a few leave you wishing that (a) the author had asked more questions than he had drinks or (b) had asked any questions at all. In fact, stepping back from it, what initially seems like having been one of the world’s most enviable jobs actually seems to have been utterly tedious for large parts of it. Or at least, as my envy blossomed over the pages I read, I hoped so.
As a kid, I would always say/sing the INFAMOUS ROWDY CHEER as "Let's get a little bit rowdy. R-O-W-D-R-E." And then I would repeat it in a vigorous, irritating drone. Ad nauseam.
It was hilarious, obviously, and made me several enemies throughout my early years.
This book is kind of like that. Especially a small portion of the middle part of it. Look it up if you don't believe me.
Anyway, Messrs. Van Morrison, R.E.M., Elvis Costello, et al. are all included.
I'd love to say that it's all such pure lunacy, the book I mean, but that would be somewhat silly.
I will say this, though: I've read a lot of music memoirs and this is certainly one of them.
This is quite a nice collection of stories about a wide range of artists from the ‘70s through to the 90’s. Despite a fairly consistent theme of alcohol and drugs throughout, the recollections don’t get repetitive and each one gives an interesting insight into either a specific event or just more general thoughts and attitudes from rock ‘n’ roll stars. Occasionally, Jones could be accused of overwriting, with long sentences and lots of superfluous words, but generally the writing style is good and his storytelling is rather entertaining.
I used to enjoy Allan's articles and reviews 40 years ago so I bought this book. It has over 70 articles based on meetings with different artists during a 20 year period between 1974-1994. There's some good stories hidden away in there but most of the time it's all about Allan and some artist getting drunk and/or high and it tends to get a bit boring awhile. Pehaps it would have been a good idea if he had included his most vicious reviews from Melody Maker?
Basically this is just for those who were teenagers in the 70s and early 80s. Full of anecdotes about Bowie, Hawkwind, Ozzy, Leonard Cohen, Lou Reed and Neil Young. Recommended by a friend who said it made him laugh out loud. It didn’t for me but the stories about Angie Bowie taking to the stage or irritable Lou Reed raised a smile.
Interesting enough but the tales of drunkenness or drugged up partying gets a little tired after a while. Alright for a jokey intermission now and again.
I really wanted to love this book it’s subject is right up my street….it’s sounded great. I was a little disappointed.
There are some good interesting stories in this book however I felt the author was just ‘showing off’ regarding look at my great job and who I’ve met…and yes I’d have loved his job and all the amazing people he met but I felt it was more about him than his stories.
Some interesting facts and stories but I got a bit bored with the writing.
Sadly not as enjoyable as I'd expected. It's overlong and repetitive, to the point where the "we were all drunk/high/faced at the time" humor and the "cranky antisocial musician is also brilliant" ego turns kind of sad and pathetic the longer it goes on. And closing with a somber funeral for a musician friend is maybe not the ending this book really needed.
The first half I found quite tiresome, akin to a pub bore reciting an endless series of "...I was so drunk I..." stories. As the book moved into the 1980s my interest rose. Inevitably, I found the chapters on artists I liked the most interesting. If the seventies were your decade, you'll probably love this more than I ever could.
Had me laughing out loud. We get a real sense of some characters; particularly funny are those pompous types he can skewer in tiny vignettes just by way of describing what they do... And counterbalances that humour with some poignant observation, too.
Too much excess. A barrage of drink and drugs, page after page, year after year, artist after artist. It didn't get me closer to the people just the lifestyle. How peripheral it all feels to the making of the music. Entertaining read all the same.
I wasn’t too impressed by the voice of the author, but some of the reported interactions with rock bands were hilarious, particularly those involving Sting and Ozzy Osborne. Not a bad book at all!
A little redundant at times, and I feel like Allan let himself become part of the "Story" a bit too often, but still some fun stories about the pop icons of the 70s and 80s.